We give equal time to all four hometown dates, until we have to reckon with the not one but two incredibly awkward codas given to Colton's run on this show. Are these some of the most blatantly staged moments in the show's history? In the case of the latter, how badly do we want to believe that Chris Harrison was caught off guard in giving some sex ed fundamentals?But it's not all Colton all the time! We've got meditations on the nebulous definition of "values", the baby steps this show is willing to take away from the heteronormative bubble, and how weird it gets whenever this show finds itself having to address anything of substance. Also, absolutely nothing changes in where these dudes all stand with Becca!Our music, as always, is "Dummy", a castoff from the great 2000s beach town indie rock band Ponchos From Peru.