This pandemic has been hard for everyone. For me, the struggle has been psychological.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I had a breakdown that has been hard to recover from, despite my best efforts. Over the last six years, life as a full-time podcaster and entrepreneur has taken a toll on me. I’m not sure what exactly triggered my breakdown, but there were many likely causes. Stress, broken relationships, a constant struggle to try to make my software startups work.

I broke down, and I need to put myself back together. Creativity has helped me in the past, and I’m making an effort to turn this podcast into a regular creative outlet.

I want to share my music here, and discuss it. Most people who listen to my podcast Software Engineering Daily probably don’t know I’m a musician, but I have been working hard to become a successful producer since college.

In each episode, I’m going to share a piece of music I wrote and discuss it. Today’s song is called “Go That Far”.

This song follows a typical pop song structure of intro, verse, prechorus, chorus, intro, verse, prechorus, chorus, bridge, prechorus, chorus. It was written at the beginning of the pandemic, as I was sliding into a psychological hole.

The song is about a loss of emotion. During my six years of podcasting and software entrepreneurship, I set aside my emotions, focusing on growing the podcast and trying to find a software product that I could sell. In my efforts to find that business success, I spent so much time alone.

Listening to podcasts, going to the gym, and sitting by myself at my desk producing new episodes—it was a solitary existence even before the pandemic, and this song was a prelude to the abject isolation of the lockdowns.

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