Darius Kazemi
JoJo's Bizarre ExplainerEpisodes
Episodes of JoJo's Bizarre Explainer
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Did you miss men inside other men? The ol' Pillar Man Shmoo? Well is this the story arc for you. Also discussed: ways to lose money with lesbians, 19th century white American farmers' intense love of Japanese fungus, and what is shonen time and
Take a drink every time one of us says the word "hole" in this podcast episode (D-don't do that. You'll die.) Today we see that with great power comes weird nail-based fighting techniques. Johnny's Stand is possibly turning into a Loony Toons c
After another long hiatus... we're back! We've got an episode jam packed with facts about the Triple Crown, Gyro Zeppeli's rabbinical energy, and the importance of the golden ratio. Gyro teaches important life lessons to Johnny while they are b
In this episode we cover the first two parts of A Silent Way, one of our favorite Steel Ball Run arcs... and not just because it features Gyro Zeppeli singing about mozarella cheese. We get some of the best ensemble writing and character develo
After all this time we can confirm whose corpse everyone is trying to assemble: some guy named Jesus Christ, never heard of him. We attempt yet again to explain Blackmore’s stand. Diego Brando is back, still 50% dinosaur and 100% hot. This is a
Welcome to one of the most iconic covers of JoJos. Eliz explains Pennsylvania farmers markets. Darius explains how to break into a government building using a lunch box (and then we explain the lunch). We explain Blackmore’s outfit. And finally
We’re back and discussing what a real man is. Finally! How does Araki pick his character names other than mix tapes? We explain how Ringo Roadigan’s stand works so even Courtney can understand it. Mountain Tim gains another newsletter subscribe
Gyro takes a moment to try his hand at architecture criticism. We meet a strange man with a skull soul patch who lives in a Zelda forest. We also meet Hot Pants, who will apparently casually lynch anyone who touches their beef and always has sh
We can be absolutely certain that nobody was alive 2000 years ago, certainly no significant religious figures. Diego Brando's backstory remains full of terrible dad behavior. Johnny's corpse part is a vaccine against dinosaurification, which is
Johnny Joestar min-maxed his character sheet and put all his knowledge points in "Horse". Araki can still only draw three faces, one of which is Britney Spears (not a criticism!). Diego Brando slowly turns into both a dinosaur and also the wors
For our longest episode yet, we discuss the entire Tusk arc, and if spinning fingernails were too much for you, well, we are sorry but you're going to have to deal with spinning toenails too. Marvel as Araki strip-mines Catholicism for ~aesthet
This week we un-mourn Mountain Tim. Gyro and Johnny are doing all kinds of interesting things in a barn. We revisit the Mountain Tim Test of Stands for Oyecomeva, who likes to explode things and also had explosives on him when he got his Stand
Welcome back to the show! We are back from our unannounced hiatus to grapple a series of difficult questions: Italy -- is it a real country? (Jury remains out on this one.) Johnny asks Gyro the tough questions, such as "why are so many people t
We hope you like fingernail-related body horror because this manga is pretty much just fingernail-related body horror from here on out. The Boom Booms are, shockingly, not top-tier JoJo's villains. Courtney miraculously manages to parse an Arak
Welcome to our podcast, which will now be exclusively about Kristen Stewart Christmas movies. We meet a nine-year-old who gets thrown in jail, but more about him later. Because this is an Araki story, we have a return of our old pal, toilet anx
We meet Mrs. Robinson, a genderqueer icon who might be undead but definitely shoots bees from their eyes. We get a lot of callbacks to Battle Tendency, including killing a random person in the desert and doing a weird trick with bottles. Eliz d
In this issue we learn the dubious JoJo's science of running (hint: it's just a perpetual motion machine). Ogre Street makes a comeback, but this time it's in America and mostly about ginning up excitement around sports betting. We learn some b
Pocoloco continues his reverse monkey's paw horse racing strategy. Gyro gives his horse a butt massage with his balls. Johnny has eyes for one man and one man only (it's Gyro). Someone gets dragged by a horse but in like, a good way. If you mis
Teddy bears are easier to cuddle with than scissors, buttcracks don't exist, and 300 million year old ice is basically a Steve Jobs keynote presentation. We talk about some serious stuff including Araki's characterization of Johnny through narr
This week we talk a lot about Johnny Joestar and disability in media. We meet Pocoloco, the luckiest man in the world. Gyro and Johnny have their meet cute, and it involves ball-touching. We learn that shit-talking randos don't last long in the
Since we have officially run out of animated JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, we have decided to switch to talking about the manga. But not part 6, no, because that is presumably becoming an anime in 2 years or whatever. Instead we are talking about p
Here we are at the end (or the beginning?) of Vento Aureo, and boy do we have opinions! First and foremost about sculptor Jesus. Eliz describes the gayest sculpture ever made. Mista's stubbornness has... uh, some consequences. We figure out tha
Dio's back, figuratively and figuratively-literally. We finally get some good opening credits. Once again we talk about why Diavolo is not a well written villain. Araki can't stop himself from writing Kishibe Rohan Twilight Zone stories. Speaki
If you've watched the opening credits, you probably aren't surprised by what happens in this episode. Everyone is now back in their normal body, including, crucially, Benedict the Living Dog. We talk about the bullshit rules of... soul... bulbs
Today we discuss the bullshit rules of requiem stands. (There are many, many of these.) We discuss whether Silver Chariot Requiem is also a Terminator. We say goodbye to Doppio and it's uhhh kind of sad I guess. Everyone in Rome gets a full sch
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