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This is a head gun podcast.

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Welcome to another episode of just a tip the podcast that is really just about finding yourself.

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Now, I love that this has gone through so many different iterations because that is what I believe life should be.

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Even though it started as kind of an entertainment advice podcast has now become a search for self.

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And in that I have asked on Instagram to send in some questions and I'm going to answer them as if I were talking to my younger self, because all that I can speak from is my own experience.

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So take what you can get from it.

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If something doesn't serve you, it is not for you.

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There's construction happening at my house and I'm not doing it.

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So that's not fair, but we're gonna keep trucking on.

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The first question is what is the most fulfilling experience that you've had this month?

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I immediately think of the moment that I realized that I a little backstory before the moment, my entire life I've been told to have a traditional career that is stable and secure.

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I have been told to only do one thing so that I could be more marketable.

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I have been told to really push online and show up consistently so that the algorithm could favor me and I could be more successful in the digital realm.

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I've been told so many different things by so many external sources that it's confusing.

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I mean, how am I supposed to figure anything out when there's so many people telling me different things and not only are they different from each other, but they're so different than my inherent values.

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And that was so pivotal for me to understand that I am not just a dancer.

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I am not just a designer.

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I am not just anything, because if I labeled myself with one of those things, it's actually doing a disservice to everything that I am there's.

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I mean, I guess this month has been really insane with living experiences because I truly feel like I am changing a lot of the way that I lived my life in my twenties.

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My twenties were full of career and numerical success and businesses and entrepreneurship.

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And it was really intense.

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I had a great time and I learned so much about my strengths and my weaknesses.

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And I learned about business.

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I learned so many vital things as an artist that are really hard to come by.

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However, now that I know all of that stuff, I feel so at peace with creating some distance between myself, my soul and that version of success.

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So I'm realizing now what I truly value.

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And I'm making those changes as we speak.

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I mean, I can't wait to tell you about everything.

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It's just like, it's so fast moving right now, but I will tell you that things are going to vastly change because now I am aware of the trajectory of my life was going in terms of my body and my mind and my spirituality, all of it.

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It is all pointing in the same direction.

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It is to not be so tethered to the Western ideal of success and back to what every book has ever said.

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I mean, not every book because there's so many books about business, but all the books that say slowing down is how we are supposed to live all the books about simplicity, all the books about the finest things in life.

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Aren't actually things, all of those books I'm actually able to hear and understand that that is actually how I want to live my life.

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So, I mean, that's probably like super overwhelmingly fulfilling because it's actually making the compass clearer of the direction of my life for my thirties.

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Oh my God, what a start.

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The next question is, how do we not worry on uncertainties in life?

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There's a saying that, you know what I forgot to say, but it's something along the lines of the past has already happened.

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The future hasn't happened yet.

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The only thing that we have right now is the present moment.

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And I think that if we can just like actually wrap our brains around that, not just cognitively know that and go, yeah, we've heard that before, but like actually feel that then we don't need directions on how we just understand that that is what it is.

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I used to be such a planner and I still am a planner.

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Like, even if someone wants coffee, I'm like, can you send me a Google gout invite?

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Because like, I just, my brain is everywhere that I can't really focus on that, but I've stopped planning for the future if something goes wrong.

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So that was my anxious brain. That was always saying, think of every possible scenario, just in case it happens, then you'll already be prepared.

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And so I was thinking that I was doing pre-work so that when I got to these places, I could act on impulse because I've already figured out my route.

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Any thing could happen.

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Do you know how many different scenarios I had to come up with in order to have solutions to every single scenario, it's too much for a brain to compute the only thing in life that a certain is change also, that you're in charge of that change.

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If you don't like something in your life, you have the power to change it.

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If you can't change it, you can change your mentality on it.

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But either way you are still in control.

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Something that has been really difficult to be in is this transitional state of I'll just tell you, I am moving to the desert and maybe you saw this coming.

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Maybe this is like, oh my gosh, another bold, risky move for Megan batoon.

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But like, this is what makes so much sense to me after these 10 years of living in Los Angeles and getting what I needed out of it and growing with the city, realizing that that is no longer what serves me into this next stage of my life.

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Buying a house is undoubtedly one of the most stressful things in a human's life in the modern world.

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But I think what's more painful than the whole rigmarole role of finding a house and getting outbid and all of these different things.

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It's just, it's jargon. It's chaotic, it's intense.

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But I think the most intense part of the whole thing is the waiting period.

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Once you put an offer in, on and a house and you finally get accepted, then you start escrow, which is basically 30 days of hell.

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And you have to dig up every single piece of paper you've ever received from the U S government and give it to a lender in order for them to give you some money to buy the house.

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Because when you buy a house, you don't buy it outright.

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Or like, I mean, you could, but like, I am not balling like that.

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So 30 days of having your patients on hold and like you're going through so much waiting period and wondering if the sellers are going to change their mind and take the house off the market, or if something falls through and maybe you don't get your papers in on time and the lender doesn't give you a loan, then you have to refinance it.

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And maybe the seller is not going to be patient enough for that.

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And then you lose your house. So I share that because this has taught me how to only focus on the day at hand, because that's all I can do.

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I was reading a book this morning, the book that I'm currently reading is called goodbye things by Furio Suki.

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I do not know, but I will put it in Femia Suzuki.

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I'm just going to have to be confident.

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And I think I'm right.

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But he writes in one of the chapters that he was, it's a book on minimalism and he was writing in one of the chapters that you can only worry about the dishes of the day.

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So if you're doing the dishes for the day, all you have are the dishes that you used for that day.

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You don't thinking about all the dishes that you're going to have to clean every single day of your life forever, because that's not going to allow you or motivate you to wash a single dish because you're just going to it's, it's, it's just incessant work.

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And it doesn't inspire you to do the first step, which is just wash the dishes of the day.

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And so I think to not worry on the uncertainties in life, one, understand that you're not in charge of those, but you are in charge of the way that you handle them and relate to them.

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And to don't think about everything in life that you cannot control.

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Don't think about everything in life.

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Think about the one thing at hand and do that one thing, because life is a series of steps, one foot in front of the other.

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And that's the only way that not only is that the only way that we can do it, it's the only way that I feel like is healthy.

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I don't think we were meant to be moving so fast.

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I don't think that we were designed to do 19 million things and reach so far for things to feel more secure, I guess, now that I'm really, you know, going there, I guess I just don't really understand because working so much in the amount that I worked, oh my God, I worked myself sick.

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I worked so much that I would have migraines and hemorrhoids and missed periods because my hormones were off balance.

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Like these are not healthy things.

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And I can definitely contribute majority, probably a hundred percent of them to overwork.

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Why am I overworking?

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Because I felt like that is what I needed to do, because that is what society has taught me.

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That is what I have been praised for from a young kid.

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Anytime that I got straight A's I would get rewarded anytime that I got a B nothing happened anytime I got a C I got grounded.

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So I understood that in order to be accepted in this world, I had to be exceptional.

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And I had to please that time, take that child and grow her up in this Western society of overwork and productivity and outward success and external validation.

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And you get who I was.

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That

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is

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not

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how

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I

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want

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to

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live

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my

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life

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anymore. That is not healthy for any human.

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And honestly, it didn't really make me that happy.

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I was happy because like I could buy vintage decor that brought me joy because I love craftsmanship and art, but I could also figure out another way to have that if I really want it to, or maybe I don't need all of that.

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I think there comes a time in life when we get to analyze and take inventory of working and what's not working in our lives.

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And I think that the new year is a great time.

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I am not too well versed in the moon cycles yet, but I know that I think full moons are good for that.

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I don't know, but you know, give me a year and I'll probably be really well versed in it.

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But these moments, new year's and full moons are a good, I'm just going to say full wounds.

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It might be new moon. Something about the new moon, something about the moon cycle is good for just taking stock of your life and where you want to spend your energy.

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Next.

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I

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want

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to

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do

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a

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video

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sometime

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about

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this

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concept

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I

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have

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of

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emotional

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currency,

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basically

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what

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I'm

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thinking

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of. I mean, I'm sure there's already a book on it, but I've been thinking about this a lot is if we only have a certain amount of emotional energy, which we are translating into emotional currency, because you spend your energy, you spend your energy and you can save your energy.

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And so those remind me of finances.

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I am right now redoing my entire budget for the first time in my life.

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I've never really looked at my finances.

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I just put my nose down and I worked as hard as I could so that I knew that I wouldn't need to struggle anymore.

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That is the, honestly the backbone of my work ethic is I didn't grow up with a few things that were pretty vital for my growth and development.

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And I didn't like not having what I wanted.

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And so I figured out a way to work really hard and work four jobs at one time in order to get me to, in order to get to different places, to support myself.

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And so I'm not a stranger to hard work.

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However, I have met hard work, a little too intimately, and I would like to, and I would like to have a little alone time.

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Anyway, back to this concept.

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If we only have a hundred, he sees emotional currencies and you're spending five on something that you don't know what's going to happen in your life, such as whatever, uncertainty, whatever uncertainty insert here that you only have 95 left.

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And if you think of 10 different ways that that one uncertainty could go, you have just spent 50 and now you only have 50 left that, that you, oh my God, do you know how much you don't have any more?

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Now that you've spent those, once you spent your emotional energy, it's gone, you can't get a refund.

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You now have to wait until the next day or when you recharge.

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Or like when you, I guess in bank terms, when you withdraw more energy in, in order to do that, that's, you know, meditation, that's journaling, that's alone time.

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That's just recharging.

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However you need to. That's how you get more.

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ETQ ISI. Excuse me.

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My brain is everywhere.

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But that was a really long-winded way of saying that we are not in control of things that haven't happened.

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We are in control of things that are currently happening to us at the current moment.

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And that is where you should spend all of your ECS.

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Yeah, this next question says, I struggle with weight loss and yo-yo dieting.

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I've lost 80 pounds, but rebounded at all.

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How did you do it? So this is actually a really monumental concept because in my personal life, because I've been dieting since I was, I don't know, 16, maybe and 16 to 28, I would say.

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So I spent a better part of 10 years dieting and I've realized, I guess that would be more getting 12 years.

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I've realized I'm not going to do the math. I don't care.

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All I care is that I'm not dieting anymore.

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And it took a lot of work in therapy in order to debunk what this all was.

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But something that really changed my life was intuitive eating.

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And I didn't think that it would work. I would talk to my therapist and tell her like, what if it doesn't work?

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What if I still want to die? If I'm intuitive eating?

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And the thing is, it works.

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If you put in the work intuitive, dieting is essentially intuitive dieting.

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That is an oxymoron, never do that.

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Intuitive eating is listening to your body and understanding the hunger cues and giving it what it's asking for because our bodies know so much more than we do.

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We cannot out-think our body.

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We cannot out-think sickness.

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We can only give our body, which is a machine, what it needs to do.

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And when I say machine, I don't mean like machine, like how I overworked.

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That was a fricking robot. I mean, it's, it's hardware.

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It is, it is, it is, you know what?

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It's like, it's like, I have an Audi and it's like putting 91 fuel in the Audi.

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You cannot put any other kind of gas into that car and expect it to work fine.

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That's the same way as our bodies, like we have gotta be putting better things in our bodies and don't think I'm like some Saint, like I had McDonald's yesterday.

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I eat whatever I want, because now I can listen to my body and understand what it needs.

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Some days that looks like McDonald's some days it looks like a Caesar salad.

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Some days it looks like all vegetables.

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Some days it looks like whatever.

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I can eat like that because I have done the work on understanding what my body is asking for.

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And something that really helped me was I remember I was a restrictor.

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My, my vice was restricting calories.

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I was really into calorie, counting and macros.

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And you know, I've tried every diet in the book that lemonade diet I've tried, keto, paleo, all of it.

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I've done all of it.

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And I found a lot of success with some of it, because at the end of the day, sometimes it is.

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I mean, it is math. Not sometimes like calorically.

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It is math. If you burn more calories than you input, then you're at a deficit and then your body has to work with what it has in order to burn off things.

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And that's when you use reserved fats and all these deposits, I don't care about that.

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That is the science behind weight loss.

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And if that's something that you are interested for health purposes definitely be my guests and do that.

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However, intuitive eating for me has changed my life because the minute that I decided that I am going to eat based off of how I feel and what I need and knowing if I'm craving something salty or chewy or crunchy or cold, like these sensations that my body wanted, I was just answering it.

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It's we are essentially the caretakers of our body.

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And if your body is asking for something, you are in control, you're like a parent to your body in order to give it what it needs.

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Once I decided that I was no longer going to diet, and then I was going to break my habit of restrictive eating disorders.

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I have gained so much time and brain cells back in order to do what actually matters to me, which is creating art and helping people bring beauty into their worlds.

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However, it may be visually, emotionally, spiritually.

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If I was still dieting, I could not be half the person that I feel like I am today that took so much of my energy.

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And my time when I was eating one meal, I was already planning when I would eat my next meal, especially with intermittent fasting.

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It takes over my life and I don't want to live my life like that.

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So it no longer has a control over me because I put my foot down and I was like, this isn't going to happen anymore.

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I don't want to spend another 10 years of my life reading nutrition labels for, for not nutrition for, for the macros.

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Like now I read nutrition labels. Cause I want to know what I'm putting in my body.

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But before I was like, okay, 45 calories versus 40 calories.

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Okay. But this one has more carbohydrates and that one has less fat.

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Like what that's, I'm not, why am I, that's not why I'm here on this earth to read a nutrition label.

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So I guess I can only speak to the yo-yo dieting and the weight loss from a unattainable beauty standard angle.

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If it's for a health purpose, I am not a health professional.

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I would definitely say research something online that you can come with, your individual needs to a health professional or a nutritionist.

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That's not me. I can just tell you that yo-yo dieting is just taking so much time and energy and emotion from your life and that's not needed because you are so much more than number on a scale.

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You are so much more than what your next meal is.

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You have more to think about then how many calories you're putting in your body.

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That is not what we are meant to do.

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I don't know how we got so far away from just being, but that I will say is the start of my self reinvention.

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When I was yo-yo dieting, I was unconfident.

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I was insecure.

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I was at the helm of any external comment.

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I remember when I first posted YouTube videos.

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I remember people talking about my way and like being from a Filipino family, every time I go back home for the holidays, like, I'll hear, oh, you'll get things so fat.

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Like, well, it'd be bad. It would be bad because it's a P not an F in Tagala English.

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But yeah, I mean like my Lola would tell me I was getting fat and then she would feed me three plates of chicken adobo.

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It doesn't make sense.

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But if this is the nudge that you need to stop, yo-yo dieting.

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Just imagine how much more life that you get back when you're not spending your time thinking about what you're going to eat.

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I came across a few different body, not even body neutral.

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It was more so like slashing the stigma around bodies.

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I found some of these Instagrams really helpful and some intuitive eating Instagrams.

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I'll put them in the show notes. They really helped me unwire my brain from thinking that food had moral value.

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There's no good food. There's no bad food.

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There's just food.

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And it's whatever you want to eat at the time that you want to eat it.

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If you're listening to your body, the problem, the problem comes with, we're not listening to our body.

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And we're so detached from our hunger cues that we just shove our faces with whatever we want at all times in order to numb ourselves from what we can't already feel.

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I hope that's enough before I start to get angry.

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I'm just like, oh my God, I don't want anyone else to waste their lives on yo-yo dieting anymore.

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Okay, here we go. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you have heard all about burnout.

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This next question asks, do you get burnout?

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And how do you recover? I am realizing now after however many people and experts and thought leaders have come on this podcast to talk about burnout.

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I am now speaking from a place of experience.

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Burnout happens when you don't have enough energy or emotional capacity to handle things, because there's just too much on your plate.

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Burnout can only happen when there's more than you can physically humanly handle.

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And for me, I thought I could do everything.

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I prided myself on being so productive on doing 19 million things.

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I guess 19 million is like my go-to value.

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I did where burnout as a badge of honor, because I would show people, this is how hard I'm working.

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I'm working so hard that I'm sick.

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Aren't you like impressed?

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No, I mean, I guess like people could be impressed, but I don't care about impressing people anymore.

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I care about being healthy and I'm learning that I am only one person and I am only human.

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I can only do so much in one day.

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And that is all I'm going to do.

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I saw this interview online with Cameron Diaz and Kevin Hart.

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And it really, it was just so eye-opening because it was it finally put into words.

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What I've been feeling for the past couple of years before I'm making this massive change of my lifestyle.

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Honestly, in order to slow down intentionally, it was about how Cameron Diaz quit acting because she was no longer in control of her life.

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She said that once you are a high performing individual, you have to siphon off some different parts of your life because you are not able any longer to handle it all on your own, whether that's, or if you have a nutritionist or a personal trainer, if you have cleaning people to help you with your home, or even like babysitters to pick up your kids, if you're on set all day, there's so much that she could not do.

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And she didn't like that. And I feel so, so connected with that state of thinking is I no longer want to hand off parts of my life because I want to be in control of my life.

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The, the amount that I do is actually not for me.

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The amount that I'm doing is for brands is for rent is for, I mean, obviously we need to make money in order to live, but do I need to be doing all of that?

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Like, I don't think I realized how much joy I could have if I had my hands on my own life, whether that's my finances or down to like emails, like it is really helpful to have help.

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But at some point it's like, I want to feel like I can do it on my own.

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So yes, I, I get burnt out and I think still right now, I'm trying to learn the balance of that.

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I'm right now in over my head on some projects.

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However, I have plans to, you know, what, I'm going to stop myself right there.

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Because even though I have plans to slow down, I am currently slowing down on purpose.

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Even though I have a lot on my plate, I am learning which things I want to step away from.

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I'm learning which things I need to create more boundaries with.

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I am learning what I can actually exert to still have stuff for myself to still have energy for myself to still have brainpower for myself to still have enough to give my loved ones.

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And my partnerships, my therapist said, if you are giving 98% to work, you're only left with 2% left to give to everything else in your life that you care about, whether that is your partner or your home or your pets.

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2% was all I was giving because I was giving every waking moment and cell devoted to work.

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So I think for me, the way that I have stopped burning out is to stop doing so much, to stop trying to do so much to stop thinking that you should be doing so much.

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I think recovering from burnout starts from first taking inventory of what you have on your plate and second realizing what doesn't need to be on your plate.

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Third, taking it off your plate and forth, delegating your time correctly into the values that you want to keep on your plate.

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Burnout has plagued me for the better part of my twenties.

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And it's because I didn't understand that piece of information.

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I thought I had to be more, I thought I had to keep going, but I also got fueled from it.

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Like I loved it. It was a drug to me.

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I loved to work.

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I loved to overwork because then it made me feel like I was doing the most and doing everything that I could in my power in order to be successful.

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And I did. And it was however, that is not how I want to live my life anymore.

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I feel like at the end of all of these questions, I start to get angry.

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It's just, I lived my life so long in a direction that was not aligned with my values.

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Okay, next I'm going to do as many questions as feels right to me.

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I don't know how I don't have a timer on or anything.

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I'm just feeling this New

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year. New me. How about new year healthier?

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Me in 2022, I'm making a Valiant effort to work towards my goals, make healthier choices.

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And of course continue with my mental health journey, which I could not do without my sponsor.

30:32

Better help. You know, the drill better help.

30:34

Isn't a crisis line or self-help, but professional counseling done securely online.

30:39

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30:51

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31:09

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31:15

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31:29

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31:38

Ooh, I love this one because this speaks to me.

31:41

And I just learned this. The question is how do you find coping mechanisms when going through a massive shift in life?

31:48

I read somewhere that the best thing to do in states of big transition is to really have a solidified routine because with so many things that you don't know how they're gonna turn out.

32:03

So many things that are just everywhere, like everything is capricious, everything is nebulous.

32:08

You don't have a grasp on everything.

32:10

It's all just like wizard of Oz tornado.

32:13

The best thing to do is to solidify a routine because that's something that you can rely on.

32:18

That's something that you are in charge of.

32:20

That's something that gives directly back to you.

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If the routine is healthy.

32:24

So for me, my routine started with tea.

32:28

It just started with before you do anything, I mean, I'll read a book in bed, but before I do anything physically or get on a computer, I have a cup of tea.

32:40

And that took one day to integrate while say, it's like one day to think of one day to do.

32:48

But then if I just do that every single day and try to not break the chain, then that has become a habit.

32:54

And I'm going to bring up two different references here, because I think it makes sense.

32:58

Jerry Seinfeld had this concept of writing a joke a day and, or I don't know if it was one joke, but he would write jokes.

33:05

At least he would sit down and write jokes every single day.

33:10

And he got a calendar and he would put a big X through the day, once he finished writing.

33:15

And then once you could see a couple exes, you don't want to stop the axes.

33:20

You want to keep the Xs. You want to see all red Xs, because that means like, I don't know, it's like a pleasure and reward system.

33:26

There's gotta be some dopamine levels going on with that.

33:29

But every single day, he stayed consistent because he solved visually that he didn't take a break.

33:34

And so he didn't want to break that.

33:36

So he kept doing it. That is how I feel habits actually stick.

33:42

Because in my experience, you only want to start with one habit.

33:46

You wanna start with one thing that you can do every single day.

33:49

That's almost a no brainer, something that's like an easy point of entry, like a cup of tea.

33:55

And for there's a book that I read called atomic habits that says that the way to incorporate a new habit is to do it after something that you already do every single day without fail, like brushing your teeth or going to the bathroom, say that you want to meditate.

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If you say to yourself, I'm going to meditate five minutes after I go to the bathroom in the morning, you already know that your body physiologically is going to go to the bathroom.

34:22

So all you have to do is show up for yourself.

34:25

Like you said, you would, right after you go to the bathroom, then you meditate for five minutes.

34:29

Once that is integrated and you do your Jerry Seinfeld calendar, and you can do that for like a week or a month or however long, it, it takes to really feel natural and that your body starts to crave it because that's what I'm experiencing too.

34:41

Like I started meditating not too long ago, actually like before I was like, I was do my best with the guided meditations, but now I'm like, I've got a bolster and I sit and I feel, and I do all the things.

34:52

And now when I meditate, it feels so good and I'm ready for the day.

34:58

And if I don't meditate, I actually feel bad.

35:02

Like my body is craving that feeling because it's felt at once, it's almost like I'm like getting drunk or high or having an orgasm.

35:11

Like you fat, you felt this one time.

35:13

So now, you know, what's possible. So now you want to get it again.

35:16

So it's, I mean, I guess it's kind of like that overworking drug symptom that I had mentioned, but like when, once you feel something that works for you and you feel that pleasure and reward, you're going to want to continue to do it.

35:29

And imagine if you have only that in your life, that everything you do gives back to you because it's that nourishing.

35:39

That is the life that I'm actively creating right now.

35:43

And in that, in this period of turmoil and trying to finish my place so that I can rent it so that I can buy this other place in the desert and move all the while doing YouTube and podcasts and different interior design projects and the desert project, like it's a lot of moving pieces in the only way that I'm able to handle it all is one having a routine and two I'm going in the direction of my dreams.

36:13

So that actually, this is where I want to stop.

36:15

And there's so many more questions I didn't get to, but I really feel like this is what I want to spend my time on is it is so clear to me finally, what my values are, what I need.

36:27

I'm now believing in myself enough to go for those and understand that this is going to be better for the life that I want to live saying no to so many different things offers so much space to say yes, if I say yes to something that I don't really want to do, I have now committed myself.

36:47

I now feel like I'm in a sort of prison.

36:51

And that now I've said a thousand notes to myself of what that could look like.

36:56

Especially if it's a big project, following your dreams, shouldn't be hard following your dreams should be fun and fulfilling and exciting and motivating and inspiring.

37:08

And it's only when other people's thoughts of how we should live our lives.

37:13

Get in the way of what we inherently know.

37:15

We want society.

37:18

And the internalized capitalism that we have received from being in this world has shaped the way that we live our lives.

37:25

But the thing that we, as a collective get to experience and get to rediscover is that we actually don't need to live on somebody else's agenda.

37:36

We do in some ways, obviously we need to make money in order to pay for a lifestyle that we want.

37:42

We need to pay our bills in order to have utilities so that we can live normal.

37:49

You know, like there was a reason why things were developed.

37:52

And so once we are able to have the luxuries of survival, what is it?

37:58

Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Like that's the first need is food and shelter.

38:03

And that you're not going to die. If you have that, you're already privileged.

38:07

That is something that not everyone in this world has.

38:10

Once you have that, though, you move on to the next hierarchy of need.

38:15

And I don't know all of them by heart yet.

38:18

Like I said, give me a year. I could probably recite it.

38:21

But at some point, once you have security enough to have your bills paid, that's when you can start searching, hire for, and it's tough.

38:31

Like I living paycheck to paycheck is not a way that anyone was ever intended to live.

38:37

That's why there was not paychecks when there were tribes and caveman, but there was an energy exchange.

38:43

There was a group of people helping each other out in order to survive.

38:48

And so I guess when it really comes down to it, it comes down to how are you spending your energy and who are you spending it with?

38:54

Are you spending 98% with your computer?

38:57

And you only have 2% for your loved ones who feel super disconnected and depressed.

39:02

Are you spending all of it?

39:03

People pleasing and trying to get everyone else to like you because you need external validation.

39:09

What do you have for yourself left? I think I want to end this podcast with just an invitation to journal, to just get a piece of paper.

39:17

It could be, it could be a napkin.

39:19

It could be a box. I don't really care.

39:21

Whatever is near you. It does not need to be this whole ritual where you have a candle and a blanket and cozy music.

39:29

Like you do not need to do this.

39:31

Just write down right now.

39:34

If you're driving, do it. When you're not driving, do not put it in your notes on the phone, which is what I know I would do.

39:41

So I can't say don't do that, but I'm saying like, just know that what know what you're doing.

39:46

I just want, I just invite you to write down all of the things in your life that you are giving energy to, whether that is your job, energy, to yo-yo dieting energy, to people, pleasing energy, to your boss, energy, to your enemies, energy, to comparing yourself on social media, write down a list of every place that you are, expending energy, and then start crossing off the ones that you no longer want to spend your energy on and know that for every one that you cross off, you are gaining more energy to give to the ones that you have not crossed off.

40:26

Those are your values. And if you see something on there, or if you see something that's not on there, that is a value of yours or a value that you want to have.

40:35

Like, I want to spend more time with my cats, or I want to spend more time learning, right?

40:40

Those in there too, because that is another place that you can expend energy in.

40:44

And if you cross off the ones that are not serving you or taking you further from how you want to live, now, you can re negotiate all of your energy and you can read Dole it out into something that makes more sense for the life that you want to live.

40:59

And by the end of this exercise, it feels, I feel like, I mean, I haven't done this exercise.

41:05

I'm literally making it up as I'm thinking right now, which I actually might do right after.

41:10

This is the things that are left on that list should inspire you to want to wake up.

41:16

They should make you excited to make changes in your life in order to make that dream life happen.

41:25

It, everything for me starts on paper from my brain.

41:28

The only way that I can remember is if I write it down, and this is the best way that I found to take stock and inventory of anything, it's a basically like your budgeting, it's emotional energy budgeting.

41:41

Thank you so much for listening.

41:44

I really hope that you were able to take something away from this podcast episode.

41:49

We've come a long way. And I'm so excited to hear about your emotional energy budget.

41:56

Send me a DM on Instagram.

41:59

I'm at Megan batoon. I would love to see what's left over.

42:03

I want to see the life that you want to create.

42:05

And that's the other thing is like, once you start sharing with other people, whether it's people in your direct circle or people on the internet, you're speaking it out loud.

42:14

And the more that you pay attention to it, the more that intention grows into it, where attention goes, your energy flows.

42:22

And so if you are talking about it, it's in your ether.

42:27

You you're speaking, it's coming out of you.

42:30

The more that it'll feel solidified within you because you're hearing yourself and you're seeing it.

42:35

I don't have a closer for this type of episode.

42:38

I've never done a type of episode like this before kind of feels like a different podcast.

42:44

So with that being said, I hope you have a great day with the rest of your day.

42:51

I, That was a hit done podcast. This is a head gum podcast. It's just a clip. I got you on track. Respective Welcome to another episode of just a tip, the podcast that is really just about finding yourself now. I love that this has gone through so many different iterations because that is what I believe life should be even though it started as kind of an entertainment advice podcast has now become a search for self And in that, I have asked on Instagram to send in some questions and I'm gonna answer them as if I were talking to my younger self because all that I can speak from is my own experience. So take what you can get from it. If something doesn't serve you, It is not for you. There is construction happening at my house, and I'm not doing it, so that's not fair, but we're gonna keep trucking on. The first question is, what is the most fulfilling experience that you've had this month? I immediately think of the moment that I realized that I a little backstory before the moment. My entire life I have been told to have a traditional career that is stable and secure. I have been told to only do one thing so that I could be more I've been told to only do one thing so that I could be more marketable. I have been told to really push online and show up consistently so that the algorithm could favor me and I could be more successful in the digital realm. I even told so many different things by so many external sources that is confusing. I mean, how am I supposed to figure anything out when there's so many people telling me different things and not only are they different from each other, but they're so different than my inherent I mean, how am I supposed to figure anything out when there's so many people telling me different things. And not only are they different from each other, but they're so different than my inherent values. And that was so pivotal for me to understand that I am not just a dancer. I am not just a designer. I am not just anything because if I labeled myself with one of those things, it's actually doing disservice to everything that I am. There's I mean, I guess, this month has been really insane with fulfilling experiences because I truly feel like I am changing a lot of the way that I lived my life in my twenties. My twenties were full of career and numerical success and businesses and entrepreneurship, and it was really intense. I had a great time. And I learned so much about my strengths and my weaknesses, and I learned about business, I learned so many vital things as an artist that are really hard to come by. However, now that I know all of that stuff, I feel so at peace. With creating some distance between myself, my soul, and that version of success. So I'm realizing now what I truly value and I'm making those changes as we speak. I mean, I can't wait to tell you about everything. It's just like it's so fast moving right now, but I will tell you that things are going to vastly change because now I am aware of the trajectory my life was going in terms of my body, and my mind, and my spirituality, all of it. It is all pointing in the same direction. It is to not be so tethered to the western ideal of success and back to what every book has ever said, I mean, not every book because there's so many books about this is, but all the books that say slowing down is how we are supposed to live, all the books about simplicity, all the books about the finest things in life aren't actually things. All of those books, I'm actually able to hear and understand that that is actually how I wanna live my life. So, I mean, that's probably like super overwhelmingly fulfilling because it's actually making the compass clear of the direction of my life for my thirties. Oh my god. What a start? The next question is, how do we not worry on uncertainties in life? There's a saying that You know what? I forgot to say, but something along the lines of the past has already happened, the future hasn't happened yet. The only thing that we have right now is the present only thing that we have right now is the present moment. And I think that if we can just like actually wrap our brains around that, not just cognitively know that and go, yeah, we've heard that before, but like actually feel that, then we don't need directions on how understand that that is what it is. I used to be such a planner and I still am a planner. Like, even if someone wants coffee, I'm like, can you send me a Google gout even if someone wants coffee, I'm like, can you send me a Google Calendar invite? Because, like, I just My brain is everywhere that I can't really focus on but I've stopped planning for the future if something goes wrong. So that was my ink just brain. That was always saying, think of every possible scenario in case it happens, then you'll already be prepared. And so I was thinking that I was doing pre work so that when I got to these places, I could act on impulse because I've already figured out my route. Anything could happen. Do you know how many different scenarios I had to come up with in order to have solutions to every single scenario? It's too much for a brain to compute. The only thing in life that is certain is change. Also, that you're in charge of that change. If you don't like something in your life, you have the power to change it. If you can't change it, you can change your mentality on it. Batoon way, you are still in control. Something that has been really difficult to be in is this transitional state of I'll just tell you, I am moving to the desert. And maybe you saw this coming, maybe this is like, oh my gosh, another bold, risky move for Meghan, Batoon, like, this is what makes so much sense to me. After these ten years of living in Los Angeles and getting what I needed out of it and growing with the city realizing that that is no longer what serves me into this next stage of life. Buying a house is undoubtedly one of the most stressful things in a human's life in the modern world. But I think what's more painful than the whole rigmarole role of finding a house and getting outbid and all of these different things. It's just it's jargon, it's chaotic, it's intense, but I think the most intense part of the whole thing is the waiting period. Once you put an offer in on a house and you finally get accepted, then you start escrow, which is basically thirty days of hell and you have to dig up every single piece of paper you've ever received from the US government. And give it to a lender in order for them to give you some money to buy the house. Because when you buy a house, you don't buy it when you buy a house, you don't buy it outright or like I mean, you could, but like I am not balling like that. So thirty days of having your patience on hold and like you're going through so much waiting period and wondering if the sellers are gonna change their mind and take the the house off the market or if something falls through and maybe you don't get your papers in on time and the lender doesn't give you a loan, then you have to refinance it. And maybe the seller is not going to be patient enough for it and maybe the seller is not gonna be patient enough for that. And then you lose your house. So I share that because this has taught me how to only focus on the day at hand because that's all I can do. I was reading book this morning The book that I'm currently reading is called Goodbye Things By Furios Suzuki. I do not know, but will put it in fumio Suzuki. I'm just gonna have to be confident and I think I'm 2316. But he writes in one of the chapters that he was it's a book on minimalism, and he was writing in one of the chapters that you can only worry about the dishes of the day. So if you're doing the dishes for the day, all you have for the dishes that you used for that day, you're not thinking about all of the dishes that you're going to have to clean every single day of your life forever because that's not gonna allow you or motivate you to wash a single dish because you're just gonna it's it's just incessant work and it doesn't inspire you to do the first step, which is just wash the dishes of the day. And so I think to not worry on the uncertainties in life. One, understand that you're not in charge of those, but you are in charge of the way that you handle them and relate to them. And two, don't think about everything in life that you cannot control. Don't think about everything in life. Think about the one thing at hand and do that one thing because life is a series of steps, one foot in front of the other. And that's the only way that not only is it the only way that we can do it. It's the only way that I feel like is healthy. I don't think we were meant to be moving so fast. I don't think that we were designed to do nineteen million things and reach so far for things To feel more secure, I I guess now that I'm really, you know, going there, I guess I just don't really understand because working so much in the amount that I worked, oh my god. I worked myself sick. I worked so much that I would have migraines and hemorrhoids and missed periods because my hormones were off balance. Like, these are not healthy things, and I can definitely contribute majority probably a hundred percent of them to overwork. Why am I overworking? Because I felt like that is what I needed to do, because that is what studies taught me, that is what I have been praised for from a young kid. Anytime that I got straight a's, I would get rewarded. Anytime that I got a b, nothing happened. Anytime I got ACI got grounded. So I understood that in order to be accepted in this world, I had to be exceptional and I had to please that time take that child and grow her up in this western society of overwork and productivity and outward success and external validation and you get who I was. That is not how I wanna live my life anymore. That is not healthy for any human. And honestly, it didn't really make me that happy. I was happy because like I could buy vintage decor that brought me joy because I love craftsmanship and 2316, but I could also figure out another way to have that if I really wanted to, or maybe I don't need all of that. I think there comes a time in life when we get to analyze and take inventory of what's working and what's not working in our lives. And I think that the New Year is a great time. I am not too well versed in the moon cycles yet, but I know that I think full moons are good for that. I don't know. But, you know, give me a year and I'll probably be really well versed in it. But these moments, New Years, and full moons are a good I'm just gonna say full moons. It might be new moon. Something about the new something about the moon cycle is good for just taking stock of your life and where you want to spend your energy next. I wanna do video sometime about this concept I have of emotional currency. Basically, what I'm thinking about of. I mean, I'm sure there's already a book on it, but I've been thinking about this a lot is if we only have a certain amount of emotional energy, which we are translating into emotional currency, because you spend your energy, you spend your energy and you can save your I mean, I'm sure there's already a book on 2316, but I've been thinking about this a lot is if we only have a certain amount of emotional energy, which we are translating into emotional currency because you spend your energy. You spend your energy and you can save your energy. And so those remind me of finances. I am right now redoing my entire budget for the first time in my life. I've like never really looked at my finances. I just put my nose down and I worked as hard as I could. So that I knew that I wouldn't need to struggle anymore. That is the, honestly, the backbone of my work ethic. Is I didn't grow up with a few things that were pretty vital for my growth and development. And I didn't like not having what I And I didn't like not having what I wanted. And so I figured out a way to work really hard and work four jobs at one time in order to get me to in order to get to different places to support myself. And so I'm not a stranger to hard work. However, I have met hard work a little too intimately and I would like to and I would like to have a little alone time. Anyway, back to this concept. If we only have a hundred ECs, emotional currencies, and you're spending five on something that you don't know what's gonna happen in your life such as whatever uncertainty whatever uncertainty insert here that you only have ninety five left. And if you think of ten different ways that that one uncertainty could go, you have just spent fifty e c's and now you only have fifty left. That that you oh my god. Do you know how much you don't have anymore? Now that you've spent those, once you spent your emotional energy, it's gone. You can't get a refund. You now have to wait until the next day or when you recharge or, like, when you, I guess, in bank terms, when you withdraw more energy and in order to do that, that's, you know, meditation, that's journaling, that's a loan time. That's just recharging however you need to. That's how you get That's how you get more EQ. EC. Excuse me. My brain is everywhere, but that was a really long winded way of saying that we are not in control of things that haven't happened, we are in control of things that are currently happening to us at the current moment. And that is where you should spend all of your ECs. We all know one of my big goals for 2021 was starting and maintaining healthy habits and homily I've found a good all know one of my big goals for twenty twenty one was starting and maintaining healthy habits. And hallelujah, I found a good one thanks to my sponsor athletic greens. What is it with one scoop of athletic What is it? With one scoop of athletic greens? You're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins and minerals, super foods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your you're absorbing seventy five high quality vitamins, minerals, super foods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day. day Right? And yeah, that was a mouthful, but I'm not mad cause it's been helping support my mental clarity and yeah, that wasn't mouthful, but I'm not mad because it's been helping support my mental clarity and alertness so I can read that sentence easily. One thing I'm finally understanding is how important it is to choose high quality ingredients that your body will actually absorb, which is probably why athletic greens has over seven thousand five star reviews. I mean, I started taking athletic greens because I wanted to start my mornings with a healthy I mean, I started taking athletic greens because I wanted to start my mornings with a healthy habit. This one intentional decision has been catalyst for me making more healthy decisions throughout day. And it helps that it doesn't leave a weird aftertaste in my the And it helps that doesn't leave weird aftertaste in my mouth. Now if you're ready to start making your own healthy decisions, Here's a gift from me to you. Right now. It's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition to make it it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition. To make it easy, athletic greens is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin d and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athletic greens.com/just a tip again, that is athletic greens.com/just a tip to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional You have to do is visit athletic greens dot com slash just a tip. Again, that is athletic greens dot com slash just a tip. To take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This next question says I struggle with weight loss and yo yo dieting. I've lost eighty pounds Batoon rebounded at all. How did you do it? So this is actually a really monumental concept because in my personal life, because I've been dieting since I was, I don't know, sixteen maybe, and sixteen to twenty eight, I would say. So I spent a better part of ten years dieting, and I've realized, I guess, that would be more. Forget in twelve years. I've realized I'm not gonna do the math. don't care. All I care is that I'm not dieting anymore. And it took a lot of work in therapy in order to debunk what this all was, but something that really changed my life was intuitive eating. And I didn't think that it would work. I would talk to my therapist this and tell her, like, what if it doesn't work? What if I still want to diet if I'm intuitive eating? And the thing is it works works. If you put in the work intuitive, dieting is essentially intuitive you put in the work. Intuitive dieting is essentially intuitive dieting. That is an oxymoron. Never do that. Intuitive eating is listening to your body and understanding the hunger cues and giving it what it's asking for because our bodies know so much more than we do. We cannot outthink our body. body. We cannot out-think cannot outthink sickness. sickness. We can only give our body, which is a machine, what it needs to We can only give our body which is a machine what it needs to do. And and when I say machine, I don't mean like machine like how I overworked. That was a freaking robot. robot. I mean, it's, it's I mean, it's it's hardware. hardware. It is, it is, it is, you know It is It is it is You know what it's like? It's like I have an Audi and it's like putting it ninety one fuel in the Audi. You cannot put any other kind of gas into that car and expect it to work fine. That's the same way as our bodies. Like, we have gotta be putting better things in our bodies and don't think I'm like some saint. Like, I had McDonald's yesterday. I eat whatever I want because now I can listen to my body and understand what it needs. Some days that looks like McDonald's, Some days that looks like a caesar salad, some days that looks like all vegetables, some days it looks like whatever. whatever. I can eat like that because I have done the work on understanding what my body is asking can eat like that because I have done the work on understanding what my body is asking for and something that really helped me was I was I was a restrictor. My my vice was restricting calories. calories. I was really into calorie, counting and I was really into calorie counting and macros and, you know, I've tried every diet in the book, the lemonade diet, I've tried keto, paleo, all of it. I've done all of it. it. And I found a lot of success with some of it, because at the end of the day, sometimes it found a lot of success with some of it because at the end of the day, sometimes it is I mean, it is math, not sometimes. Like, calorically, calorically. It is it is math. If you burn more calories than you input, then you're at a deficit, and then your body has to work with what it has in order to burn off things, and that's when you use reserved fats in all these deposits. I don't care about that. That is the science behind weight loss. And if that's something that you are interested for health purposes, definitely be my guest and do that. However, intuitive eating for me has changed my life because the minute that I decided that I am going to eat based off of how I feel and what I need and knowing if I'm craving something salty or chewy or crunchy or cold, like, these sensations that my body wanted, I was just answering it. It's we are essentially the caretakers of our body. And if your body is asking for something, you are in control, you're like a parent to your body in order to give it what it needs. Once I decided that I was no longer going to diet and that I was gonna break my habit of restrictive eating disorders. I have gained so much time and brain cells back in order to do what actually matters to me, which is creating art and helping people bring beauty into their worlds, however it may be. Visually, emotionally, spiritually, If I was still dieting, I could not be half the person that I feel like I am today. That took so much of my energy and my time. When I was eating one meal, I was already planning when I would eat my next meal, especially with intermittent fasting. It takes over my life and I don't want to live my life like that. So it no longer has control over me because I put my foot down. And I was like, this isn't gonna happen anymore. I don't wanna spend another ten years of my life reading nutrition labels. For for not nutrition, for for the macros. Like, now I read nutrition labels because I wanna know what I'm putting in my body. But before, I was like, okay, forty five calories versus forty calories. Okay. But this one has more carbohydrates and that one has less fat. Like, what? That's I'm not why am I that's not why I'm here on this earth to read a nutrition label. So I guess I can only speak to the yellow dieting and the weight loss from a unattainable beauty standard angle. If it's for a health purpose, I am not a health professional. professional. I would definitely say research something online that you can come with, your individual needs to a health professional or a I would definitely say research something online that you can come with your individual needs to a health professional or a nutritionist? That's not me. me. I can just tell you that yo-yo dieting is just taking so much time and energy and emotion from your life and that's not needed because you are so much more than number on a can just tell you that yo yo dieting is just taking so much time and energy and emotion from your life, and that's not needed because you are so much more than number on a scale. scale. You are so much more than what your next meal You are so much more than what your next meal is. You have more to think about than how many calories you're putting in your body. body. That is not what we are meant to is not what we are meant to do. I don't know how we got so far away from just being that I will say is the start of my self reinvention. When I was yield dieting, I was unconfident. I was insecure. I was at the helm of any external comment. I remember when I first posted YouTube videos, I remember people talking about my way and like being from a Filipino family every time I go back home for the holidays, like I'll hear, oh, you'll get things so fast. Like, well, it'd be a pat. bad. It would be bad because it's a P not an F in Tagala be pat because it's a p not an f in Tugali English. English. But yeah, I mean like my Lola would tell me I was getting fat and then she would feed me three plates of chicken I mean, like, My Lola would tell me I was getting fat and then she would feed me three plates of chicken adobo. It doesn't make sense. Batoon this is the nudge that you need to stop yo yo dieting, just imagine how much more life that you get back when you're not spending your time thinking about what you're going to eat. eat. I came across a few different body, not even body across a few different body not even body neutral. It was more so like slashing the stigma around bodies. I found some of these Instagrams really helpful and some intuitive eating Instagrams. I'll put them in the show notes. They really helped me unwire my brain from thinking that food had moral value. There's no good food. There's no bad food. There's just food. And it's whatever you wanna eat at the time that you wanna eat it if you're listening to your body. The problem the problem comes with we're not listening to our body and we're so detached from our hunger cues that we just shove our faces with whatever we want at all times in order to numb ourselves from what we can't already feel. I hope that's enough before I start to get angry. angry. I'm just like, oh my God, I don't want anyone else to waste their lives on yo-yo dieting just like, oh my god. I I don't want anyone else to waste their lives. On yo yo dieting anymore. Okay. Here we go. If go. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you have heard all about you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you have heard all about burnout, This next question asks, do you get burnout and how do you recover? recover? I am realizing now after however many people and experts and thought leaders have come on this podcast to talk about I am realizing now, after however many people and experts and thought leaders have come on this podcast to talk about burnout. I am now speaking from a place of experience, burnout happens when you don't have enough energy or emotional capacity to handle things. Because there is just too much on your plate. Burnout can only happen when there's more than you can physically, humanly handle. And for me, I thought I could do everything I prided myself on being so productive on doing nine nineteen million things. I guess nineteen million has looked my go to value. I did wear burnout as a badge of honor because I would show people this is how hard I'm working. I'm working so hard that I'm sick. Aren't you, like, impressed? No. I mean, I guess, people could be impressed, but I don't care about impressing people anymore. I care about being healthy. And I'm learning that I am only one person and I am only human. I can only do so much in one day and that is all I'm going to do. do. I saw this interview online with Cameron Diaz and Kevin I saw this interview online with Cameron Diaz and Kevin Hart, and it really, it was just so eye opening because it was it finally put into words words. What I've been feeling for the past couple of years before I'm making this massive change of my I've been feeling for the past couple of years before I'm making this massive change of my lifestyle honestly in order to slow down intentionally. It was about how Cameron Diaz quit acting because she was no longer in control of her life. She said that once you are a high performing individual, you have to siphon off some different parts of your life because you are not able any longer to handle it all on your own, whether that's finances or if you have a nutritionist or a personal trainer if you have cleaning people to help you with your home or even like babysitters to pick up your kids if you're on set all day, there's so much that she could not do and she didn't like that. And I feel so so connected with that state of thinking is I no longer want to hand off parts of my life because I wanna be in control of my life. life. The, the amount that I do is actually not for The the amount that I do is actually not for me. The amount that I'm doing is for brands, is for rent is for I mean, obviously, we need to make money in order to live. But do I need to be doing all of that? Like, I don't think I realized how much joy I could have if I had my hands on my own life, whether that's my finances or down to, like, emails. Like, it is really helpful to have help. But at some point, it's like, I wanna feel like I can do it on my own. So, yes, I I get burnt out and I think still right now I'm trying to learn the balance of that. I'm right now in over my head on some projects. However, I have plans to You know what? I'm gonna stop myself right there because even though I have plans to slow down, I am currently slowing down on purpose even though I have a lot on my plate. I am learning which things I want to step away from. I'm learning which things I need to create more boundaries with. I am learning what I can actually exert to still have stuff for myself, to still have energy for myself, to still have brainpower for myself, to still have enough to give my loved ones and my partnerships. My therapist said, if you are giving ninety eight percent to work, you're only left with two percent left to give to everything else and that in your life that you care about. Whether that is your partner or your home or your pets, two percent was all I was giving because I was giving every waking moment and cell devoted to work. So I think for me, the way that I have stopped burning out is to stop doing so much, to stop trying to do so much, to stop thinking that you should be doing so much. I think recovering from burnout starts from first, taking inventory of what you have on your plate. And second, realizing what doesn't need to be on your plate. Third, taking it off your plate and fourth, delegating your time correctly into the values that you want to keep on your plate. Bernal has plague dooney for the better part of my twenties and it's because I didn't understand that piece of information. I thought I had to be more. I thought I had to keep going. But I also got fueled from it. Like, I loved it. It was a drug to me. I loved to work. work. I loved to overwork because then it made me feel like I was doing the most and doing everything that I could in my power in order to be I loved to overwork because then it made me feel like I was doing the most and doing everything that I could in my power in order to be successful. And I did and it was. However, that is not how I wanna live my life anymore. I feel like at the end of all of these questions, I start to get angry. It's just I lived my life so long in a direction that was not aligned with my values. Okay. Next, I'm gonna do as many questions as feels right to me. I don't know how I don't have a timer on or anything. I'm just feeling this. New New year. New Me. me. How about new year How about New Year Healthier healthier? Me in 2022, I'm making a Valiant effort to work towards my goals, make healthier twenty twenty two, I'm making a tangents effort to work towards my goals, make healthier choices, choices. And of course continue with my mental health journey, which I could not do without my of course, continue with my mental health journey. When I could not do without my sponsor sponsor. Better help. help. You know, the drill better You know the drill. Better help help. Isn't a crisis line or self-help, but professional counseling done securely a crisis line or self help, but professional counseling done securely online. online. You hear that that's the sound of all of my fellow introverts cheering, but it gets better, better hear that? That's the sound of all of my fellow introverts cheering. But gets better. Better help help. We'll assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist who you can start talking to you in under 48 assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist who you can start talking to in under forty eight hours. And hours. And if you're like me and need to write down what you feel, as soon as you feel it, fear you're like me and need to write down what you feel as soon as you feel it, fear not, not. You can send a message to your counselor enter you can send a message to your counselor at your time. The time. The only thing I love more than that convenience is that better help is more affordable than traditional counseling and financial aid is available, which means you don't have to limit yourself to the counselors located near only thing I love more than convenience is that better help is more affordable than traditional counseling and financial aid is available. Which means you don't have to limit yourself to the counselors located near you you you. You can find the expertise you need online, and yes, better help is available for clients can find the expertise you need online. And yes, better help is available for clients worldwide. Now to make sure your new year is off to a healthy start. Get ten percent off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp dot com slash just a tip. Join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health. health. Again, that's better that's betterhelp help. H E L p.com/just a dot com slash just a tip. Yeah. tip. I love this one because this speaks to me and I just learned this. The question is how did you find coping mechanisms when going through a massive shift in life? I read somewhere that the best thing to do in States of big transition is to really have a solidified routine. Because with so many things that you don't know how they're gonna turn out. So many things that are just everywhere. Like, everything is capricious, everything is nebulous. You don't have a grasp on everything. It's all just like Wizard of Oz tornado. The best thing to do is to solidify a routine because that's something that you can rely on. That's something that you are in charge of, that's something that gives directly back to you if the routine is healthy. So for me, my routine started with tea. It just started with before you do anything. I mean, I'll read a book in bed, but before I do anything physically or get on a computer, I have a cup of tea. And that took one day to integrate? Well, I'll say it took one day to think of, one day to do. But then if I just do that every single day and try to not break the chain, then that has become a habit. And I'm gonna bring up two different references here because I think it makes sense. Jerry Seinfeld had this concept of writing a joke a day and or I don't know if it was one joke, but he would write jokes. At least he would sit down and write jokes every single day. And he got a calendar and he would put a big x through the day once he finished writing. And then once you could see a couple Xs. You don't want to stop the Xs. You axes. You want to keep the to keep the Xs. You want to see all red Xs because that means like, I don't know, that's like a pleasure in reward system. There's got to be some dopamine levels going on with 2316. But every single day he stayed consistent because he saw visually that he didn't take a break and break. And so he didn't want to break so he didn't wanna break that so he kept doing it. That is how I feel habits actually stick because in my experience, you only wanna start with one habit. You wanna start with one thing that you can do every single day. That's almost a no brainer. Something that's like an easy point of entry, like cup of tea. And tea. And for there's a book that I read called atomic habits that says that the way to incorporate a new habit is to do it after something that you already do every single day without fail, like brushing your teeth or going to the bathroom, say that you want to a book that I read called Atomic Batoon that says that the way to incorporate a new habit is to do it after something that you already do every single day without fail, like brushing your teeth or going to the bathroom. Say that you want to meditate If you say to yourself, I'm gonna meditate five minutes after I go to the bathroom in the morning. You already know that your body physiologically is going to go to the bathroom. So bathroom. So all you have to do is show up for you have to do is show up for yourself like you said you would. Right after you go to the bathroom, then you meditate for five minutes. Once that is integrated and you do your Jerry Seinfeld calendar and you can do that for like a week or a month or however long it it takes to really feel natural and that your body starts to crave it because that's what I'm experiencing too. Like, I started meditating not too long ago. Actually, like, before I was like, I was doing my best with the guided meditations, but now I'm like, I've got a bolster and I sit and I feel and I do all the things, and now when I meditate, it feels so good and I'm ready for the day. And day. And if I don't meditate, I actually feel if I don't meditate, I actually feel bad. Like, my body is craving that feeling because it's felt at once. It's almost like like getting drunk or high or having an orgasm. Like, you fat. You felt this one time, so now you know what's possible. So now you wanna get it again. So it's I mean, I guess it's kinda like that overwork working drug symptom that I had mentioned, but like, once you feel something that works for you and you feel that pleasure and reward, you're gonna wanna continue to do it. And imagine if you have only that in your life, that everything you do gives back to you because it's that nourishing, that is the life that I'm actively creating right now. And in that in this period of turmoil and trying to finish my place so that I can rent it so that I can buy this other place in the desert and move all the while doing YouTube and podcast and different interior design projects and the desert projects, like, it's a lot of moving pieces and the only way that I'm able to handle it all is, one, having a routine and two, I'm going the direction of my dreams. So that actually this is where I want to stop and there's so many more questions we I didn't get to, but I I really feel like this is what I wanna spend my time on, is it is so clear to me finally what my values are, what I need. I'm now believing in myself enough to go for those and understand that this is going to be better for the life that I want to live. Saying no to so many different things offers so much space to say yes. If I say yes to something that I don't really wanna do, I've now committed myself. I now feel like I'm in a sort of prison. And now I've said a thousand knows to myself of what that could look like, especially if it's a big project. Following your dreams, shouldn't be hard. Following your dreams should be fun and fulfilling and exciting and motivating and inspiring and it's only when other people's thoughts of how we should live our lives get lives. Get in the way of what we inherently in the way of what we inherently know we want. Society and society. And the internalized capitalism that we have received from being in this world has shaped the way that we live our internalized capitalism that we have received from being in this world has shaped the way that we live our lives. Batoon the thing that we, as a collective, get to experience and get to rediscover is that we don't need to live on somebody else's agenda. We do in some ways. Obviously, we need to make money in order to pay for lifestyle that we want we need to pay our bills in order to have utilities so that we can live normal. You know, like, there was a reason why things were developed. And so once we are able to have the luxuries of survival, what is it Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Like, that's the first need is food and shelter and that you're not going to die. If you have that, you're already privileged. That privileged. That is something that not everyone in this world something that not everyone in this world has. Once you have that though, you move on to the next hierarchy of need. And I don't know all of them by heart yet. Like I said, give me a year, I could probably recite it. But at some point, once you have security, enough to have your bills paid, that's when you can start searching higher for and it's tough. Like, I living paycheck to paycheck is not a way that anyone was ever intended to live. That's why there was not paychecks when there were tribes and cavemen, but there was an energy exchange. There was a group of people helping each other out in order to survive. And so I guess when it really comes down to it, it comes down to how are you spending your energy and who are you spending it with? Are with? Are you spending 98% with your you spending ninety eight percent with your computer? And you only have two percent for your loved ones who feel super disconnected and depressed. Are you spending all of it people pleasing and trying to get everyone else to like you? Because you need external validation. What do you have for yourself left? I think I wanna end this podcast with just an invitation to journal rateJust get a piece of paper. It could be it could be a napkin. It could be a box. I don't really care. Whatever's near you. It does not need to be this whole ritual where you have a a candle and a blanket and cozy music. Like, you do not need to do this. Just write down right now if you're driving do it when you're not driving. Do not put it in your notes on the phone, which is what I know I would do, so I can't say don't do 2316, but I'm saying, like, just know that what know what you're doing. I just want I just invite you to write down all of the things in your life that you are giving energy to whether that is your job, energy to yoyo dieting, energy to people pleasing, energy to your boss, energy to your enemies, energy to comparing yourself on social media, write down a list of every place that you are expending energy. And then start crossing off the ones that you no longer want to spend your energy on. And know that for everyone that you cross off, you are gaining more energy to give to the ones that you have not crossed off. Those are your values. And values. And if you see something on there, or if you see something that's not on there, that is a value of yours or a value that you want to you see something on there, or if you see something that's not on there, that is a value of yours or a value that you want to have. Like, I wanna spend more time with my cats or I wanna spend more time learning write those in there too because that is another place that you can expend energy in and if you cross off the ones that are not serving you or taking you further from how you want to live, now you can renegotiate all of your energy and you can redoll it out into something that makes more sense for the life that you wanna live. And by the end of this exercise, it feels I feel like mean, I haven't done this exercise. I'm literally making it up as I'm thinking right now, which I actually might do right after this, is the things that are left on that list should inspire you to wanna wake up. They should make you excited to make changes in your life in order to make that dream life happen. Everything for me starts on paper from my brain. The only way that I can remember is if I write it down. And this is the best way that I found to take stock and inventory of anything. It's basically like you're budgeting. It's emotional energy budgeting. Thank you so much for listening. I really hope that you were able to take something away from this podcast episode. We've come a long way, and I'm so excited to hear about your emotional energy budget. Send me a DM on Instagram. I'm at Meghan Batoon I would love to see what's left over. I wanna see the life that you want to create. And that's the other thing. It's like Once you start sharing with other people, whether it's people in your direct circle or people on the Internet, you're speaking it out loud and the more that you pay attention to it, the more that intention grows into it. Where attention goes your energy flows. And so if you are talking about it, it's in your ether. You you're speaking, it's coming out of you. The more that it'll feel solidified within you because you're hearing yourself and you're seeing it. I it. I don't have a closer for this type of have a closer for this type of episode. I've episode. I've never done a type of episode like this before kind of feels like a different done it type of episode like this before kind of feels like a different podcast. So podcast. So with that being said, I hope you have a great day with the rest of your that being said, I hope you have a great day with the rest of your day. Hi. That was a head down podcast.