0:00

Kakos Industries is ad-free. To

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help keep it that way, consider heading to kakosindustries.com

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slash Patreon and pledging a dollar

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or more a month.

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What you are about

0:12

to hear is restay.

0:35

Hello and welcome to the Kakos Industries

0:37

corporate shareholder announcements. At Kakos

0:40

Industries, we specialize in helping our clients,

0:43

and their clients, and their clients' clients,

0:45

to do evil better. My

0:47

name is Corin Deeth III and I am CEO here

0:50

at Kakos Industries. Shareholders,

0:52

a lot happened last time and I

0:54

think that there's definitely a lot that we

0:57

need to discuss. That being said,

0:59

I think we have more pressing

1:01

matters today. As you are probably

1:03

aware by now, we are having a little bit of

1:05

a snafu here at Kakos Industries.

1:08

That's nothing unusual, of course, we

1:10

have snafus all the time. If

1:13

you've been listening to these announcements for any length of

1:15

time, then you've undoubtedly experienced

1:17

a number of said disruptions to our functioning.

1:20

That being said, I'm

1:21

not sure that there has been a single event

1:24

quite as dangerous as this one. I

1:26

have to emphasize that Kakos Industries

1:29

is in existential peril at

1:31

the moment. The Division of Giant Cats

1:34

has had a containment issue. Now,

1:37

I can just hear all of you listening in

1:39

your designated listening areas beginning

1:42

to tremble with the implications

1:44

of this. You already know where

1:46

this is headed, or perhaps you are starting

1:48

to allow your imaginations to run wild.

1:51

Perhaps

1:51

I should be clear. Right now,

1:54

there are enormous, gigantic

1:56

cats all around the building just

1:58

causing untold trouble for the

1:59

everyone, and not just

2:02

those of us who get stuffy noses around

2:04

cats. I'm talking enormous

2:06

cats of all shapes and colors

2:08

just congregating where you don't want them.

2:11

I reached out to the Division of Giant Cats, and

2:14

this is what they had to say for themselves.

2:17

Corin, there is no such thing as

2:19

the Division of Giant Cats. There

2:21

has been a problem. You need to wake

2:23

up. Wow. I

2:26

have never had a division speak to me

2:28

in such an inappropriate manner.

2:29

I think we can all see that

2:32

this situation is quite serious. Some

2:34

of you might be thinking, oh, but Corin, what's

2:36

wrong with the cute big kitties? And I

2:39

say this to you. We have already

2:41

lost 700,000 employees

2:44

to this catastrophe.

2:47

That was a pun, wasn't it?

2:51

Damn. Let's, uh, let's move on. Today's

2:54

broadcast is coming to you from the void.

2:57

You got your projectile box from your incoming

2:59

projectiles window, and you opened it up, and

3:01

of course right there inside was

3:04

the void. Just like you always

3:06

imagined it. Just like you always knew

3:08

it would be. Just like you felt it

3:11

must be. Just because

3:13

it defies explanation doesn't mean that

3:15

it isn't the void. Don't

3:18

ask yourselves too many questions

3:20

that cannot be answered. Now is the

3:22

time for acceptance of

3:24

the void. The void comes

3:26

to us from a collaboration between the

3:29

void and our division of

3:31

yeah, that is definitely the

3:33

void. I am told that the void

3:36

has an audio frequency spectrum that is perfectly

3:38

flat in the audible range for all known

3:40

life, and it is capable of producing stereo

3:43

as well as many other surround style

3:46

sound environments. I mean,

3:48

seriously, how great is the

3:50

void?

3:51

I have a blurb here from the

3:53

team that worked on the project. What

3:56

the hell is the void? We got

3:58

to get him to wake up before he slips down.

3:59

too deep. Truly an

4:02

impressive feat of engineering,

4:07

conjuring, widening.

4:11

Let's go with that. Recently,

4:14

we wrapped up the Festival of Self-Love,

4:17

that festival where we love ourselves. I

4:20

have been told that it is in fact okay

4:22

to love yourself. Well done,

4:24

everyone. We also have some

4:26

exciting festivals coming up in the next few weeks.

4:29

First,

4:29

there's the Pajama Festival. I

4:32

am personally very excited for this festival

4:34

because it sounds really comfy, you

4:36

know? I've been having terrible

4:39

trouble with insomnia lately, so it would be

4:41

really nice to just get really, really,

4:44

really comfy and just let go.

4:46

I think that would be nice for all

4:49

of us, you know? I think it would be really

4:51

beneficial for some of us to just give in

4:53

to the feeling of sleepiness and just

4:55

embrace that temporary oblivion

4:58

in our comfiest clothes,

4:59

of course. We

5:02

also have the Festival of Brightly Colored

5:04

Hats coming up. All of you are

5:06

familiar with this festival, of course.

5:08

We've been having it every year for nearly

5:11

three millennia. We put on a variety

5:13

of hats of different colors just to see how

5:15

they make us feel.

5:17

Do they make us feel fancy? Perhaps

5:19

they do. I know that I feel

5:21

fancy when I wear a variety of hats. I

5:24

can't say that I always like to wear

5:26

hats, but there are definitely times when

5:29

I like to wear a hat.

5:31

And if I'm going to wear a hat, it'd probably

5:33

better be brightly colored. I mean, what else

5:36

is the point, right?

5:38

The Division of Dionysia is preparing

5:40

just a lot of hats for all of us to

5:42

wear.

5:43

Midway through the event, we will need to lock

5:45

eyes with one other person and

5:47

trade hats. The hat we will be

5:49

wearing at that point will then be our

5:52

hat for the rest of the night. All

5:54

of the hats must be returned by the end of the

5:56

night or else we won't have any hats

5:58

for next year, and you know what?

5:59

don't mess around with 4000 year old traditions.

6:04

Also coming up is the Festival of Toast.

6:07

I could really go for some toast right

6:09

now, shareholders. I bet you could too. Just

6:12

imagine the warm breadiness of the toast,

6:14

with perhaps some butter or margarine,

6:17

maybe even some jam and clotted cream.

6:20

Delicious toast.

6:22

The festival, of course, celebrates toast

6:24

and all of its varieties. We will have

6:27

every kind of bread you can imagine, even stretching

6:29

the definition of bread to its breaking point. We

6:32

will have spreads and toppings. We

6:34

will have debates about the appropriate order

6:37

for adding the ingredients. We will also

6:39

have the Toast Off, where

6:41

you will be permitted to make your own toast creations

6:44

and have them judged against other toast creations.

6:47

This is my favorite festival every year

6:49

and I cannot wait. I

6:52

could

6:52

really just go for some toast right now.

6:56

I mentioned earlier that we are having some serious

6:59

issues around Kakos Industries, but perhaps

7:01

I was not specific about what

7:04

those issues happen to be. Then

7:06

again, I'm sure you have already noticed, shareholders.

7:09

It's really difficult to miss something

7:11

so bizarre and unusual. I

7:14

am of course speaking about all of the weird

7:16

bathrooms that have been popping up around the building.

7:19

They have ordinary doors and you can go inside

7:22

like you normally would, but then the facilities themselves

7:25

are so unusual.

7:26

Some of the toilets are

7:28

far too high and have you climbing

7:30

a ladder to reach them. And once you're

7:33

up there, you're so far above the privacy

7:35

walls that everything you do is on

7:37

display for everyone else in the vicinity.

7:41

Other units have walls that are far too

7:43

short or only cover that part of you

7:45

that isn't doing anything that needs covering. Then

7:49

there's the toilets with the really large

7:51

bowls. It just seems like

7:53

a waste of water when you come right down to it.

7:56

Some of them are the size of the whole

7:58

stall. Some of them are even bigger.

7:59

larger. One I encountered

8:02

was an entire lane of an Olympic-sized

8:04

swimming pool. I cannot imagine

8:06

the environmental impact of flushing such

8:08

a toilet, and you'd have to get all of

8:10

the freaks and weirdos who are swimming in

8:12

that lane of toilet to get out, lest

8:15

they be flushed as well. And

8:17

that's not even addressing the real problem,

8:19

which is that using these facilities is

8:22

completely pointless. Whatever

8:24

you do in them doesn't seem to count.

8:27

The feeling that brought you to the bathroom in the first

8:29

place never goes

8:29

away. You have to find a real

8:32

bathroom that actually works. We

8:35

are looking into the problem.

8:37

It seems that some of you out there are

8:40

still reporting very clearly seeing

8:42

these announcements and everything that goes on

8:44

in them. Like, with your eyeballs.

8:47

Now, I can't deny the capabilities

8:50

of The Void, which is still bringing

8:52

you these announcements, but we are

8:54

uncertain how you are seeing anything,

8:56

and it is possible that you are not

8:58

actually seeing anything at all.

9:00

Perhaps you are dreaming. Who

9:02

knows? If you're curious

9:05

to know more about this ongoing issue, please

9:07

head to KakosIndustries.com

9:09

slash C. That's S-E-E.

9:15

It's now time again for that segment where we

9:17

answer some of your burning questions about Kakos

9:19

Industries. The first and only

9:21

question this week seems to be, what

9:24

have the Swans ever done to you? The

9:29

short answer is that they know

9:31

what they did. The slightly longer answer

9:34

is that it would be unwise to drag

9:36

in outside parties to what is already

9:38

a messy and complicated situation.

9:41

You really do not

9:43

want to be any part of this. I promise

9:45

you. Just walk away. Walk.

9:49

Walk away.

9:53

Last time, we talked a lot about the Matmos,

9:55

and the troubles we were having with it. As you

9:58

might remember, I was able to remove

9:59

donuts from within the matmos.

10:02

A full baker's dozen, in fact. We

10:05

know that these donuts are precious, which

10:07

is why I have had the hardest time keeping

10:09

people away from them. I don't know what

10:12

it is, but a lot of people keep trying

10:14

to steal these donuts. I'll

10:16

just be out with the donuts, taking them for a walk,

10:19

and then people will begin to follow me. They

10:21

want the donuts inside the box.

10:24

There's one of each kind. You've got your normal

10:27

donuts with chocolate and maple coatings. You've got

10:29

your filled donuts. You've got your pink flavored

10:31

donuts with sprinkles. And

10:34

these donuts are so important,

10:36

you guys. You have no idea how

10:39

important these donuts are.

10:41

They need to be kept safe, and people

10:43

whose tabithas I will not mention

10:46

keep trying to get at these donuts.

10:49

They follow me. They get really close to

10:51

me. They chase me down the red

10:54

clay hallway, splashing the red clay

10:56

all over our clothes, trying to

10:58

get a donut. They

11:00

try to distract me. They try

11:02

to bargain with me. But these donuts are

11:05

very important. VIDs.

11:08

Very important donuts. And

11:10

they need to be protected. And they

11:12

will not get stale on my watch.

11:17

I should also address the insomnia

11:19

that has been catching around the building.

11:21

I first remember experiencing it

11:23

maybe a few weeks ago, but it is

11:25

persistent. At first I thought

11:28

it was just me, and that it might have something to

11:30

do with stress or something like that.

11:32

But then we found that a lot of us around the building

11:35

were having the same issue. We were

11:37

having sleepless nights filled with eerie

11:39

waking dream states. We were lying

11:41

awake at night, and instead of sleeping

11:43

we were just imagining things.

11:46

Strange and unusual things.

11:49

None of it seemed to match up from person

11:51

to person, so that was encouraging. But

11:54

we still couldn't figure out what it was. I'm

11:57

not sure that we have figured it out yet,

11:59

in fact.

11:59

The last update I got

12:02

just says, Corin,

12:04

you need to wake up.

12:06

Whatever that means. Meow. Oh,

12:10

uh, hey Junior. Meow meow

12:12

meow meow. Meow.

12:14

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:17

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:20

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:23

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:27

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:30

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:33

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:36

Meow. Meow. Meow.

12:40

Meow. Meow.

12:45

I know that I resisted going, but

12:47

you were right. The ceremony was

12:49

fantastic. Meow.

12:52

Meow. Meow.

12:56

Very proud of them. Shareholders,

12:58

you should be proud of them as well. Meow.

13:01

Meow. Meow.

13:04

Right, talk to you later, Junior. Thanks for

13:07

stopping by.

13:09

Meow. They

13:12

really were cued up on the stage. They

13:14

won't remember a moment of it, but I

13:17

think the rest of us were happy to see them prepare

13:19

for their studies.

13:21

I have a report from the Division of Tasty Candy.

13:23

They say that candy is actually pretty tasty,

13:26

huh? They're trying out new sweets

13:28

made from rare fruits like marshmellon

13:31

and gromana and toffee cot.

13:34

These flavors are set to revolutionize

13:36

the way we think of candy. The

13:39

Division of Wall Carpet has asked us

13:41

all to consider adding wall carpets to

13:43

our homes. It's like floor carpet,

13:46

but it goes on your walls. They

13:49

say that the texture is exciting and more

13:51

specifically

13:51

that Corin should wake up now

13:53

please. I'm actually kind

13:55

of thinking about getting some wall carpet. I

13:58

have some news from the Division of Wall Carpet.

14:00

of hoo-huh. They

14:02

say, um, what

14:06

did they say? Uh, huh.

14:10

Let me, let me try that again. I have some

14:12

news from the division of hoo-huh-huh.

14:15

They wanted me to share with all of you that,

14:18

um,

14:19

uh, they, um,

14:23

what they, what they said was, um,

14:28

well, great things as always.

14:32

The division of suspicious ponytails has

14:34

been keeping an eye on Darren.

14:36

I have had my concerns

14:39

about that ponytail and I'm glad that someone

14:41

is finally looking into it.

14:45

In addition to the terrible

14:47

ice cream problem I mentioned earlier that

14:50

is threatening the entire building here at Kakos

14:52

Industries, I feel like the insomnia

14:54

thing that's going around is just making

14:57

everything worse. I got this

15:00

tape from my grandfather, which

15:03

is sort of related, I guess. Hey

15:05

Corin, it's your grandfather. I

15:08

recorded this tape well in advance just

15:10

in case you ever needed to hear something like

15:12

it. I've probably done 15 or 20 of these

15:15

while I've been sitting here just to make sure

15:17

that I've got my bases covered. Anyway,

15:20

this one is about waking up, Corin.

15:23

Sometimes I have to admit it, it

15:25

feels pretty nice just to sleep. It

15:28

feels really great sometimes. Sometimes

15:31

there's nothing we crave more than the restful

15:33

oblivion of sleep and nothing we

15:36

need more. But other times we

15:38

have to wake up. In this case,

15:41

you have to do the hard thing, pal. You

15:43

have to wake up. You have to stop sleeping.

15:46

You have to let go of the dreams. You

15:48

have to wake up all the way.

15:51

Get out of bed or wherever it is that

15:53

you're snoozing and get going. Have

15:55

some coffee or other stimulants and just

15:58

get the job done. Awake.

15:59

You gotta wake up, kiddo. I

16:02

know you'll make the right decision." So

16:06

that was whatever.

16:08

But then I got this other

16:10

tape. Hey there, Corin.

16:13

It's your grand-uncle. Corin Deeth,

16:15

the one and a half. Yep, me

16:18

and my brother, your grandfather.

16:20

We have the same name. It's fine.

16:23

Don't think about it too much. It

16:26

makes sense. Anyway,

16:29

I was thinking that you should not listen to your grandfather,

16:32

my brother, who has the same name

16:34

as me, and keep on

16:36

snoozing. Isn't snoozing

16:39

great? It just feels wonderful

16:41

to snooze all the time. Wakefulness

16:45

is bullshit. Just keep on

16:47

snoozing, you sleepy little monster.

16:50

I love you, and I definitely

16:52

exist. I'm your uncle, Corin

16:55

Deeth, the one and a half. I

16:57

definitely exist. Existed.

17:01

And I think you should sleep, because it's great.

17:04

And you wanna, so keep on sleeping,

17:07

champ. You're the sleeping

17:09

champ. Champion of sleep. You're

17:12

doing great. I definitely existed

17:14

at some point, and then probably died

17:16

mysteriously. Grand-uncle

17:18

Corin Deeth, the one and a half. That's

17:21

me. You remember me from when I existed.

17:24

In reality, keep on sleeping.

17:27

Lullaby and goodnight, Corin. I

17:31

think we can all agree that the second recording

17:33

makes much more sense. I'm

17:35

not sure what my grandfather was thinking. It was

17:38

probably something to do with drugs.

17:41

I visited the Hell labor camp in

17:43

the usual way. That is to say, I

17:45

found myself floating far above the camp

17:48

deep down in the cave system. I

17:50

was able to watch everything from above

17:52

with very little difficulty. It

17:55

turns out that the glowing stones

17:57

they're mining are a rare glowing mineral

17:59

that poses

17:59

no risks to anyone, and

18:02

they are mining them to make fun little balls

18:04

out of them because they think they're neat.

18:07

I did see them carving a couple into

18:09

figures that reminded me of Korgogirth, but

18:13

I can't say for sure. Meredith

18:15

Gorgoro, the head of the Hell labor camp,

18:17

waved at me, smiling from below. She

18:20

waved at me with that awesome monster

18:23

arm. I still want one. It

18:25

would just project so much

18:28

authority.

18:29

The Division of Kaiju Battle Reenactment

18:32

recently reenacted the battle of Rage

18:34

vs. Snooze.

18:37

There was an experiment years ago where we made

18:39

monsters that reminded us of the core human

18:42

emotions, two of which being Rage

18:45

and Snooze. I think we

18:47

might have even collaborated with some

18:49

of our competitors in a sort of show

18:51

of evil solidarity. Well,

18:54

the monsters got out and it turned out that Rage

18:56

and Snooze really hated each other so they went

18:58

at it. It was an epic battle

19:01

that lasted for what felt like weeks,

19:03

though it may have only been a few days. A

19:06

few days

19:07

of nearly constant fighting is

19:09

going to make a significant mark in your memory.

19:13

Anyway, Snooze won when

19:15

Rage got tired out. Slow

19:17

and steady, as they say. The

19:21

Division of Erotic Experiences has

19:23

an update on the project they've been working on

19:25

for a long time now, the Nocturnal

19:28

Emitter. For those of you who have

19:30

forgotten, the Nocturnal Emitter is a

19:32

device designed specifically to give

19:34

you sexy dreams. It hacks

19:36

into your subconscious while you sleep, and

19:38

it takes away all of your nightmares

19:41

and weird dreams and replaces them

19:43

with sexy dreams. For

19:45

some people, this is the only time they

19:47

feel comfortable being sexy, and we

19:50

need to reach people where they're at. I

19:52

don't need this device personally because I have

19:54

had enough weirdly sexy dreams for one

19:56

life. Like, all of the

19:59

ones with the Matt

19:59

The Matmas twins. And the ones with

20:02

Kimmy. And the ones where

20:04

the Matmas twins and Kimmy are actually

20:06

named Tabitha. And so

20:09

is Melantha. And then there's

20:11

like a hundred Tabithas. Those

20:13

dreams are a lot of work, let me tell

20:15

you. Those are the dreams you need a nap after.

20:18

Anyway, I am told that the

20:20

bug with the nocturnal emitter where some

20:23

of the time you would be having sexy times

20:25

with sexy alien beasts that

20:27

would be slowly eating you has

20:29

been resolved. They are still

20:31

working on limiting the dreams about

20:33

your middle school science teacher, however.

20:37

I have here a message from Jasmine Ashna,

20:39

one of the heads of the department about the device. She

20:42

writes, Corin,

20:43

you need to wake up. It's a matter of

20:46

life and death. Really

20:48

just some amazing things that they're coming

20:50

up with.

20:51

I have a report here that the division

20:54

of figuring out what all these keys go

20:56

to has opened a door to the

20:58

starry place.

21:00

This is something I know they've been

21:02

working on for a while. The starry

21:04

place is a really neat place

21:06

to float around if you like floating.

21:09

There are all these neat stars. You can even

21:12

touch some of them.

21:13

I'm really not sure why the starry place

21:16

was kept behind a locked door. It's really

21:18

just a lot of fun. It's

21:20

very soothing to be in the starry

21:22

place. You just have to be careful

21:25

not to float too far away.

21:27

The net they use to catch you is only

21:29

so long. It

21:32

is time for another employee spotlight.

21:35

Today we are honoring Arnold Skeen.

21:37

For those of you who are unaware, Arnold is

21:40

responsible for cleaning out our dream

21:42

filters.

21:43

As you can imagine, working with evil

21:46

as much as we do, it's very difficult to avoid

21:48

having some really nasty dreams.

21:51

If you spent all day euthanizing failed experiments,

21:54

that has a way of leaking into your subconscious.

21:57

You're going to have some dreams. You're

21:59

going to be on the

21:59

the receiving end of whatever cruel

22:02

or terrible treatment you spent the whole day doing.

22:05

That's why we have Dream Filters.

22:08

You've probably heard of Dream Catchers, well

22:10

these filters are the high efficiency

22:13

version of that, reducing nighttime

22:15

terrors related to your job activities

22:17

to an absolute minimum.

22:20

Arnold is responsible for cleaning out these filters

22:22

at the end of every day here at Kakos Industries.

22:25

The trouble is that no matter what gear

22:28

you wear or how careful you are, you're

22:30

going to come into contact with everyone

22:32

else's bad dreams at some point, which

22:35

will contaminate your subconscious.

22:38

Arnold takes on this task with fearless determination,

22:41

saying that he likes bad dreams. They're

22:43

better than no dreams at all.

22:45

Thank you for what you do, Arnold. They

22:49

say that evil once put a whole town

22:51

to sleep and then just moved all their stuff

22:54

around before they could wake up.

22:56

This is things we're taking credit for now. Today

22:59

we're taking credit for carrots, rabbits,

23:02

and the fact that you need both carrots

23:05

and rabbits or you'll literally die.

23:08

Now of course we can't know for sure

23:10

that we did these things, but I

23:12

am saying it with some degree of force and

23:15

statistically speaking you are pretty likely

23:17

to believe me. And if you don't, then

23:20

the void is right there. What

23:22

are you going to do? Hurt its feelings? No

23:24

one is that cold. Blathbandia

23:28

has won today's Ruin-A-Life drawing. As

23:30

a result, the life of Blath's nemesis

23:32

will be ruined. That nemesis is

23:35

Jen. There's

23:37

some extra ends in there. We

23:40

gave the Wheel of Misery a careful turn

23:42

and it landed on the space for perplexing.

23:45

From this day forward, Jen will be 44% more perplexing in all situations.

23:52

This can be advantageous when mystery

23:54

is called for, but

23:56

it's a pretty big problem in pretty

23:58

much all other situations. For

24:01

evil measure, Blath will be 13% less

24:03

perplexing. Congratulations on the

24:05

win, and best of luck. The

24:08

Damnation and Ruination Squad, the team responsible

24:11

for making the life-ruining declarations

24:13

of the Wheel of Misery come true, are

24:16

currently wearing nothing but variously

24:18

sized googly eyes.

24:21

I have to amend what I have

24:23

said in previous broadcasts. This

24:26

is the most them that they have ever

24:29

looked. Oh,

24:31

and it looks like I have just one more division

24:34

to cover today. I don't know

24:36

how I missed this one. The

24:38

Division of Jibberish says, Gloop-a-loopy

24:41

wee ting-tong,

24:44

Tinkineh, Tula-loo-wee

24:47

Wapadoo, Skiddly

24:49

Wapa, Wapa Maroo,

24:52

Toop-toop Skiddly Bee, Tip-top

24:55

Tiddly-woo. Could that be true? I am

24:57

dreaming, aren't I? I have to wake

25:10

up. Um,

25:15

shareholders, that brings us to the end

25:18

of the broadcast. I don't

25:20

really know what to tell you to do

25:22

with the void. I

25:25

have to sort a few things out, so

25:28

I'm going to leave you to deal with

25:30

this one on your own. The

25:33

numbers are next.

25:34

Seven, seven, seven, six, seven,

25:37

seven, six,

25:42

three, six, five, forty-four, thirteen,

25:44

six, four. Huh.

26:16

Kakos Industries is written and produced

26:19

by Konrad Mischuk, who is also the

26:21

voice of Corin Deeth and the composer

26:23

of the music. The introductions are

26:25

read by Ryan Jenkins, and the credits

26:27

are read by Brianna Kittel, a sidekick

26:30

with a heart of gold and a penchant for self-sacrifice.

26:41

Please visit KakosIndustries.com

26:43

for news, extras, and more episodes.

26:46

There are also transcriptions on the website

26:49

if you'd like to read along with the Kakos Industries

26:51

announcements. That's K-A-K-O-S-I-N-D-U-S-T-R-I-E-S

26:59

dot com. Please visit store.kakosindustries.com

27:03

for merchandise and special offers, and

27:05

get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription

27:08

donor at KakosIndustries.com

27:10

slash Patreon. You can submit

27:12

one-time donations at Paypal.me

27:15

slash Kakos Industries. You can also

27:17

purchase gear and other items for the production

27:20

at KakosIndustries.com slash

27:22

Wishlist. Join our community at

27:24

KakosIndustries.com slash Discord.

27:27

Questions, comments, or a strong desire

27:29

to collaborate?

27:30

Drop us a line at inquiries at KakosIndustries.com.

27:35

If you like Kakos Industries, be sure to

27:37

rate and review us on your favorite podcasting

27:39

service and connect with us on YouTube,

27:41

youtube.com slash Kakos Industries.

27:44

Facebook, facebook.com slash

27:46

Kakos Industries. Tumblr, KakosIndustries.tumblr.com.

27:51

Instagram, at Kakos Industries. And

27:54

TikTok, at Kakos Industries.

27:56

We encourage fan art and listener participation

27:59

on all our

27:59

social media platforms. Special

28:02

thanks to our esteemed shareholders Alfredo

28:04

Ravioli, Jack Attack, and DeEntre.

28:07

Also thanks to honored employees Calico, who got

28:09

the kill, Rocket, who mixed the spices,

28:12

and Anastasia K, who filled the sausage

28:15

casing. The division of beanies, booties,

28:17

and construction projects that are probably too large

28:19

for yarn directed by Theo Cornette has

28:21

started to knit a sea of sunflowers

28:24

for their new gardens.

28:26

The division of obscure vintage technology

28:28

directed by Craig Sizz has restored the old

28:30

Evil Receiver. Whatever you connect

28:32

to it will be made much more evil, and

28:35

then amplified. It also has RIAA

28:38

equalization built in. The

28:40

division of subtle efficiency increases directed

28:43

by Daniel R. Smith has fired

28:45

Mike again. The

28:47

repercussions of this will be felt, if only

28:49

subtly. The division of saying it the

28:52

long way directed by Dino Schroeder has been adding

28:54

diphthongs and half syllables to every

28:57

word they say.

28:58

The division of Kakos Cafeteria Reviews

29:00

directed by Seth and Josh has reviewed

29:03

all the beans.

29:04

It truly is every single bean, 3.7 out

29:07

of 6. The

29:09

division of improbable cookbooks directed by

29:11

Hayden Neff has been working on caffeinated

29:14

cooking. Now not even your food

29:16

can escape the corrupting influence of

29:18

caffeine. The division of More Monday

29:20

Mondays directed by Odie has made Mondays

29:23

that much more Monday by announcing that

29:25

there will be new ownership at work, but

29:28

nothing will change for the employees. The

29:31

division of villainous introspection directed by Sarah

29:33

has been journaling extensively

29:34

about what textures make

29:37

them feel the most evil. Silk

29:39

is winning for now. The

29:42

division of new card game mechanics led by

29:44

Finn has developed a card that makes you draw

29:46

every single other card, including

29:49

the ones in your opponent's hand.

29:51

The division of even weirder bugs directed by

29:53

Franco El Terrible has

29:55

discovered a bug that has a way of hissing

29:58

that sounds like obscenities. The

30:00

Division of Animal Stacking, directed by The One

30:02

True Dave, has stacked 38 zebras. The

30:06

zebras were all thoroughly intoxicated.

30:09

The Division of Unwanted Board Game Expansions,

30:11

directed by Kevin Rowland, has created an

30:13

expansion set that introduces paintable

30:16

figurines. The Division

30:18

of Prospective Exoplanet Tourism,

30:20

directed by Victoria Wood, has started

30:22

working on a pamphlet for Crab Persington 4.

30:26

The atmosphere has just enough nitrous oxide

30:29

to keep you pretty lit.

30:32

The Division of In-Office Fan Fiction, directed

30:34

by Christina Kirkland, has started to write an

30:36

animal-themed coffee shop alternate

30:39

universe story about the Kakos Industries

30:41

C-Suite. Mr. Sniffs is

30:44

the only human. Our

30:46

esteemed shareholders, honored employees, Division

30:48

Heads, and other Patreon patrons are the best. If

30:50

you want a thank you in the credits, your own

30:52

Division, or other rewards that help to keep this

30:55

show running, please head to KakosIndustries.com

30:58

slash Patreon. That's Patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N.

31:02

Kakos Industries

31:04

can be bark. Bark the bark of Borg.