0:00

Kakos Industries is ad-free. To help

0:02

keep it that way, consider heading to KakosIndustries.com

0:05

slash Patreon

0:06

and pledging a dollar or more

0:08

a month. What

0:12

you are about to hear is nothing

0:14

at all when compared to the scale of the

0:16

cosmos, but still much

0:18

larger than you.

0:34

Hello and welcome to the Kakos Industries

0:36

Corporate Shareholder Announcements. At

0:39

Kakos Industries, we help everyone

0:41

everywhere to do evil better, whether

0:44

they know it or not.

0:45

My name is Corin Deeth III and I am

0:48

CEO here at Kakos Industries. Last

0:51

time, shareholders, we had managed to get

0:53

a communication device up and running

0:56

that allowed us to speak to the Matmos.

0:59

The Matmos, if you happen to be new,

1:02

is that inky black sludge that tends to

1:04

be just about everywhere here at Kakos Industries,

1:07

and we more or less recently discovered

1:10

that it was capable of thought, and

1:12

subsequently capable of something in

1:15

between a tantrum and an

1:17

uprising. Unfortunately, we

1:19

later found that the Matmos we were communicating

1:21

with was actually just one particularly

1:24

nerdy pool that goes by the name Bartholomew.

1:28

Bartholomew uses his people,

1:29

those who are brought into his hive mind

1:32

by consuming some of him, to

1:34

work on hobby electronics. Our

1:37

team has continued the conversation

1:39

with Bartholomew because there is at least something

1:42

to try to glean from him, but

1:44

other than that, it is not exactly

1:46

what we set out to do. We have renewed

1:49

our efforts to communicate with the Matmos in

1:51

light of some recent events, but

1:53

I will get to that later.

1:57

Today's broadcast is coming to

1:59

you from

1:59

some sort of video game controller

2:03

it appears as though this controller was

2:05

designed for the use of around for

2:07

hands and one agile tentacle

2:10

or perhaps an arm but in the octopus

2:13

sets we do not know

2:15

what console this controller was designed

2:17

for it seems like it may have

2:19

been an internal projects some years ago to

2:21

increase global evil through video

2:24

games but either the project fell

2:26

apart or we simply found

2:28

that video games tended toward evil without

2:30

us doing anything at all this

2:32

controller is incredibly unwieldy

2:34

and perhaps the greatest evil it will

2:37

do is to confuse people on gaming

2:39

history programs for years to come

2:41

about what it could mean and they

2:43

will be doing these programs at great

2:45

risk to themselves however due

2:47

to the inherent danger

2:49

of the device that

2:51

dangerous not have your concern for now

2:54

nor will that danger come into play

2:56

during these announcements assuming

2:58

two things

2:59

one that you are a caucus industry

3:02

shareholder and to that you destroy

3:04

the device when you were told to if

3:07

you are not a caucus industries shareholder and you

3:09

are currently hearing these announcements then

3:11

unfortunately there's only one way

3:14

for you to move ahead with your health intact

3:16

and that is to become a

3:18

caicos industry shareholders soon

3:20

as possible by engaging in some

3:22

sort of evil activity if

3:24

you're by yourself and you're wondering

3:26

how you can do enough evil to save your life

3:29

then we have a suggestion you could create

3:32

a new swear words to rival all

3:34

swear words admittedly

3:36

this will take some serious creativity

3:38

and you may not be up to the task put your

3:41

life is on the line after all

3:43

considering the danger you are

3:45

in be very creative mix

3:47

and match from other swears and curses

3:50

welcome in other languages and then

3:52

to seal the deal you'll need to introduce

3:54

this new curse to the world i

3:56

recommend screaming as loud as you can

3:58

so the most people will hear it. Regarding

4:02

the second point, there is significant

4:04

danger if you do not destroy the device, but

4:06

the notes I was given earlier indicate that I

4:09

should keep you guessing because it's more

4:11

fun that way. It could be anything. One

4:13

way or the other, this device deserves your

4:16

respect, as does our division

4:18

of radio transmission and all of their hard

4:20

work that went into making it into a radio. I

4:23

am told that they collaborated with Old

4:25

Weird and Wonderfully Evil Toys, an

4:27

internet program that specializes

4:29

in restoring devices like this to make this

4:32

radio a reality. Old Weird

4:34

and Wonderfully Evil Toys was not allowed

4:37

to keep even a single device. You

4:39

will not hear about it on their program, or

4:42

we will know, and the danger,

4:44

of course, will be there.

4:47

Shareholders, the reports continue

4:49

to come in that many of you are seeing

4:52

these announcements, or at the very least,

4:54

something sort of like these announcements.

4:57

I have to insist that this is not possible.

4:59

There are no cameras. There are

5:01

no other video recording devices.

5:04

There are no super powerful algorithms

5:06

creating visuals based on assumptions

5:09

that is made about me and my appearance

5:11

and what a broadcast should look like.

5:14

I have to inform you once again that what you

5:16

are seeing isn't real. You aren't

5:18

seeing anything, at least not of

5:20

this broadcast.

5:22

And if you are seeing anything, I would not trust

5:24

it. I would not trust your eyes. I would

5:26

not take anything you're seeing as the truth,

5:29

but

5:29

you can enjoy the visuals all the same, I suppose.

5:32

They're not doing any harm, at least not

5:34

as far as we can tell at this point. If

5:36

you are seeing these announcements, or you know someone

5:38

who is, or

5:40

if you simply want more information about

5:42

this situation, then allow me to direct

5:44

you to KakosIndustries.com slash

5:47

C. That's C-S-E-E.

5:52

Perhaps together we can get to the bottom

5:54

of this conundrum.

5:57

Last time we continued an important segment

5:59

where we allowed you to submit your questions

6:02

about Kakos Industries such that we might be able

6:04

to enlighten you a bit about our shadowy-er

6:07

dealings. Most of the questions

6:09

that have been coming in are still in regards

6:11

to Mr. Sniffs, our chief

6:13

compliance officer who is also a dog,

6:16

and not a super intelligent GMO

6:18

dog. We tried that once and it was

6:20

a bad situation. No,

6:23

Mr. Sniffs is an ordinary dog that just

6:25

happens to be great at enforcing compliance.

6:28

I took care of a few of the questions with that

6:30

description, and we took care of a few

6:32

of the other questions when we told him that he was an

6:34

evil boy and we gave him a treat. To

6:37

answer the most popular question still remaining,

6:39

yes, I did give him some belly rubs. I

6:42

admit that playing with Mr. Sniffs was

6:45

a moderate stress relief activity,

6:47

which is something everyone has been encouraging

6:49

me to do… forever. The

6:52

other most popular question was who is

6:55

the man with the long long hat? I

6:57

got nothing on that one. I do not know

7:00

the answer to that question. I don't know

7:02

who you were talking about. I cannot

7:04

think of a single man with a long long hat

7:06

that is of any prominence here at Kakos

7:09

Industries. It's just weird that

7:11

seven unrelated people all asked

7:13

that question at once. Oh

7:15

well, let's move on. Did

7:19

you have fun at the Festival of Nudity

7:21

Shareholders? Just like most

7:24

years, it snuck up on us. But that's kind

7:26

of the most exciting thing about the Festival

7:28

of Nudity, is it not? It just kind of

7:30

happens. Sometimes spur of the

7:32

moment, like, it's spontaneous,

7:35

and that's what makes it feel so nice when

7:37

it happens. We are

7:39

told that arriving at the event felt a bit

7:41

like walking into a room but forgetting

7:44

why you had gone in there, and then

7:46

also realizing that you were naked, and then

7:48

also hearing hot ass dance music

7:50

coming from somewhere nearby. Obviously,

7:54

this might have been a little disconcerting for some

7:56

of you, but if you've been

7:58

a shareholder for a while, then you're not. you've probably

8:00

learned to roll with the punches, and you've

8:03

also been naked in front of strangers enough times

8:05

that the feeling isn't quite as uncomfortable

8:08

as it once was. Once

8:11

we got over that initial awkwardness

8:13

and realized that we were all beautiful and

8:15

worthy of acceptance no matter how our

8:17

physical form may be or

8:19

may have changed over the years, then

8:22

it was time to party, and party

8:24

we did. We

8:28

also had the Darkest Universe Festival.

8:31

After I mentioned the hypothetical possibility

8:33

of an infinite funnel pouring innocent

8:36

lives into a hell-like dimension

8:38

specifically to point out that we

8:41

couldn't help to compete with a universe like that,

8:44

some of our staff in the Division of Thrill

8:46

Ride testing had an idea. In

8:48

addition to humming and chanting

8:51

and wishing for the Darkest Universe and

8:53

attempting to turn innocent people

8:55

to stone with our minds, we also

8:57

had a new

8:57

thrill ride for all of you to test out.

9:01

It was kind of like a funnel, but you slid

9:03

down the funnel in a spiral configuration

9:05

before falling into a heated pool filled with

9:07

red LEDs.

9:09

There was also a lot of extra

9:11

ride before the slide part down

9:13

the funnel into the representation of a literal

9:16

hell dimension made from a swimming pool, but

9:19

that was less a part of the metaphor and more

9:21

a part of the Division of Thrill Ride testing's

9:23

commitment to excellence. Initially

9:26

we thought that the ride would work like most slides,

9:28

but due to design constraints, it

9:31

ended up that we needed to lubricate

9:33

the whole thing, and at that point it became

9:35

clear that all the people going on

9:38

the ride would need to be naked so as not

9:40

to ruin their clothes. So

9:42

those of you who did go on the ride were sent

9:44

kicking and screaming into the hell dimension

9:46

slash swimming pool, naked as the

9:48

day you were born. At that point,

9:51

filling the swimming pool with additional lubricant

9:53

just made sense. Things

9:56

did get a bit messy, but the important

9:58

thing is that you made it to the

9:59

the end and we all wished for a darker

10:02

universe, and I think we just

10:04

might get it.

10:08

Coming up we have the Festival of Mud,

10:11

which is a combination of the Earth and

10:13

Water Festivals.

10:14

It really becomes more of an Earth Festival,

10:17

but the Water Festival makes us think about

10:19

Cacolandus slash Prosperiana,

10:21

and just how happy they are down there under

10:24

the ocean, living in their utopian

10:26

civilization despite our best efforts

10:28

to nudge them into a mercantile

10:31

hell of their own making.

10:33

So anyway, we're having the Mud

10:35

Festival.

10:36

I am told we are working on some fun

10:38

consistencies of mud, and there might

10:40

even be some quicksand, so you can

10:42

finally use those skills you've been preparing

10:45

for the last 30 years.

10:51

Now that we have reached the point in the announcements

10:54

where I have most of the mandated

10:56

subjects taken care of, I suppose I can talk

10:58

to you about the thing I mentioned

11:00

a bit earlier. Kimi

11:02

has disappeared. If

11:05

you are wondering who Kimi is, then I

11:07

should tell you that she is a close friend

11:09

of mine who was also once the leader

11:11

of a weird robot themed cult and

11:14

was also once a part of a relationship

11:16

that we were keeping a close eye on because meddling

11:19

in the affairs of others just kind of felt

11:21

evil. She sometimes stays

11:23

at my place, but not always, and people

11:26

have made certain assumptions.

11:28

I suppose it's hard not to. When

11:31

you're socialized to think that every person

11:33

of one kind is after a person of another

11:36

kind and when they find each other, they then

11:38

isolate themselves from everyone else to start a

11:40

family, then it's easy to see a

11:42

situation to assume things. We

11:45

at Kakos Industries know of course that these

11:47

prescribed arrangements are often not the

11:49

right thing for everyone, and that there

11:51

are many other ways to organize ourselves

11:54

and pursue romance and happiness. I

11:57

am not denying romance with Kimi, but

11:59

the reaction

13:59

and probably a crush or two,

14:02

they said that one unfortunate side effect

14:04

of Kimi being a part of their group was that they

14:06

now felt attracted to me, and

14:08

that they hated themselves for that fact. They

14:11

said that the amount of sexual awareness

14:13

and desire that Kimi was able to maintain

14:16

after getting the Matmas in her was unusual.

14:19

I've mentioned before that Matmas seems to make

14:21

sex better, but at the same time

14:24

you don't see many of the people with Matmas in

14:26

their systems engaging in sex much at all.

14:29

It ordinarily has a somewhat dampening

14:31

effect on desire, apparently.

14:32

They say that

14:34

Kimi seems to have an incredible force

14:36

of will, which is a sentiment I have to

14:39

agree with. Now, I am able

14:41

to understand all of this and take

14:43

it in stride. If Kimi wanted to do

14:45

something else, then that was always her choice.

14:48

She knows that she cannot be close to me with the Matmas

14:50

in her system, but some opportunities

14:53

require making changes elsewhere in your

14:55

life. That being said, when

14:57

the news first broke, Grace informed

14:59

me that she would be beginning the breakup ritual,

15:03

which is apparently called for whenever someone

15:05

in a position like mine is involved

15:07

in a breakup of some sort. I

15:10

told her that I wasn't involved in

15:12

a breakup because that would require some

15:14

kind of agreed-upon arrangement, which

15:17

is not what we had. Grace

15:19

disagreed. She then blew into some

15:21

kind of horn, and then more tabathas

15:24

than I had seen up until this point came from

15:26

all over to gather

15:29

around me. There was such a spectrum

15:31

of tabathas that it seemed all of humanity

15:33

must have been represented among their ranks. Grace

15:36

started to walk away as she sounded

15:39

the horn once again, and

15:41

all of the tabathas started to undress.

15:44

I had forgotten what this situation was like.

15:47

Most of the tabathas had to go home when we

15:49

started most of our staff working remotely. I

15:51

don't know how it escaped my attention that

15:53

they had returned. Now if you're

15:56

new, then you might be wondering who the tabathas

15:58

are, and if they are all named to me. Tabitha.

16:01

It does appear that they are all named Tabitha,

16:04

yes, or some variation on that

16:06

name. There are more masculine versions

16:08

of the name Tabitha, but they are escaping

16:11

me at the moment. Who they are

16:13

is a bit more complicated. They

16:15

might be kind of like a fan club

16:17

of mine, but it also might go much deeper

16:19

than that, into the history of Kakos Industries

16:22

and the role of CEO. They

16:24

may serve some supposedly grander

16:27

support function. The way that works

16:29

out, they typically try to have sex with me.

16:32

I have avoided that as much as possible because I

16:34

personally don't like the idea that it's anyone's

16:37

job to take care of me in that regard. And

16:39

let's be real, if you see literally dozens

16:41

of people undress in front of you for an impromptu

16:44

orgy, you might have some concerns as well.

16:46

The surprise alone is enough to scare most people.

16:49

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that some

16:51

of you listening to this right now, or even

16:54

supposedly viewing it somehow, have

16:56

a superhuman ability to turn towards

16:58

the sexual, to lean into the

17:01

sexual, to dive into

17:03

the sexual. I am not that

17:05

person, and I got away as quickly as I

17:07

could. Since then, the Tabithas

17:10

have been back at it, showing up at any

17:12

opportunity to try to help me. I

17:14

didn't ask for this, you know? I didn't

17:16

ask for them to do any of this. At

17:18

least if I'd asked, I'd feel like I was in

17:21

control in some way.

17:24

Anyway, we've been moving ahead in our attempts

17:26

to communicate with the Matmos. Kimmy's

17:29

disappearance has accelerated things,

17:31

and to be clear, this acceleration isn't entirely

17:34

on my behalf. I'm not the only person

17:36

that Kimmy left behind. She also

17:39

left behind Eddie. Eddie

17:41

has been pretty down about the whole thing. Kimmy

17:43

and Eddie had become best friends, at least

17:45

from my perspective, and Eddie is a

17:47

lot slower to make new friends. While

17:50

Eddie and I are also friends, it's pretty

17:52

clear that it's not the same.

17:54

I don't make robots or sculptures or anything

17:56

of the sort. We don't have that

17:59

common ground. So, I've done

18:01

my best to comfort her, but it's pretty clear

18:03

that this is an emotional wound that will take some time

18:05

to heal. Assuming that

18:07

Kimmy does come back, she and Eddie will be

18:09

able to pick up where they left off, even if Kimmy

18:12

and I cannot do the same for security

18:14

reasons. So we're trying

18:16

to get her back. At one point,

18:18

when I was getting a beer with Eddie to talk

18:20

about stuff, a bunch of Tabathas appeared

18:23

to try to convince me to blow

18:25

off some steam. I have

18:27

never seen Eddie disappear from a situation

18:29

faster.

18:29

On the one hand, I

18:32

was impressed. On the other hand, I

18:34

no longer had the excuse that I would have

18:36

liked to use for why I was

18:38

busy.

18:42

The people in the other cloaks belonging

18:44

to the smaller pools of Matmau seem

18:46

to be unaffected by Kimmy's presence,

18:48

which is not surprising.

18:50

They

18:51

are supposed to be separate. That

18:53

said, it seems like there have been some

18:55

ripples of this change going through

18:57

their various communities, so

19:00

they have been leaving me alone more. That

19:02

does mean fewer dead animals presented as

19:05

gifts, and I'm on board with that.

19:11

The Division of Erotic Experiences has

19:13

some updates on the Satisficer,

19:15

that sex toy that is supposed to be able

19:17

to satisfy literally anyone.

19:19

Apparently the decals that were intended to

19:22

make the device seem more submissive so

19:24

they could reach a larger audience weren't

19:26

working.

19:27

So they are considering alternative layouts

19:29

that make it feel less like you're trapped

19:31

inside the machine once you put it on.

19:34

They are also looking at ways to allow the

19:36

device to transform into different shapes

19:38

should you desire to take a more active role

19:41

in using it.

19:42

The trouble right now seems to be that the transformations

19:45

have the potential to catch things

19:47

in places and then pinch them

19:49

really badly.

19:51

And none of us want that. Our

19:55

financial department has asked me

19:57

to remind all of you about evil.

20:00

bonds. Yes, evil bonds.

20:02

These are a financial product that you can

20:04

buy now with real money, and they

20:07

will pay dividends in evil for

20:09

years to come.

20:10

If you finance our evil operations,

20:13

no one can ever question how evil you

20:15

are, and around these parts, that means

20:17

safety. Talk to your Kakos Industries

20:20

financial planner today about evil

20:22

bonds.

20:23

Corin. Oh, hey

20:25

Junior. You're still looking reduced. Thank

20:28

you. My reduction has been working out

20:30

well. It seems when I'm a more manageable

20:33

size, people and monsters can't

20:35

seem to keep their hands off of me. I'm

20:37

a hot commodity, Corin. So

20:40

it seems. What can I help you with today,

20:42

Junior? It's not what you can

20:44

help me with. It's what I can help you

20:46

with, Corin.

20:48

Oh, I'm here to talk about the ladies,

20:50

Corin. I know you've just gone

20:53

through a rough breakup. I

20:56

didn't really. You need to get

20:58

back out there as soon as possible, Corin.

21:00

Mix it up with some randos. You

21:02

need a rebound. Why are we doing

21:05

this? Why are you doing

21:07

this? Corin, I care about you as

21:09

much as it pains me to say that. And

21:11

this business needs you operating at 100%.

21:15

At least while you're running it, which I

21:18

still contend is a foolish, short-sighted

21:20

decision. We will need to get you

21:23

laid, Corin. No, we don't.

21:25

I'm okay.

21:26

I promise. And things will

21:28

happen when they happen. Probably at one of

21:30

our hundred festivals where people have sex.

21:33

Corin, I know that you're hurting and it

21:35

seems like things will never be the

21:37

way they were before. It seems

21:39

like you'll never enjoy anything again. It

21:42

doesn't seem like that. I'll be fine.

21:44

I have to let her make her own decisions. Yes,

21:47

well, that doesn't make it hurt any less,

21:49

does it? Junior, I'm not going

21:51

to do this right now. Okay. Well, you

21:53

know where I am, should you want to talk?

21:56

You know, Corin, I think it might be time.

21:58

I think it might-

21:59

Might be time for another, motherfuckin'.

22:04

I'll think about it. Yes.

22:07

We'll talk later, Junior. Excellent.

22:10

Stay strong, King. Don't call me

22:12

King. Ha,

22:13

ta ta. I apologize

22:16

for that interruption, shareholders. There's a sign

22:18

and a light on the door that says we're live. It's

22:21

just that everyone ignores it. I think

22:23

they think they're adding flavor to the broadcasts,

22:25

or less charitably they want to

22:28

embarrass me. One or the other.

22:33

The Division of Kaiju Battle Reenactments,

22:35

performance of Mothula vs.

22:38

Natsdi, was incredible.

22:41

As we all knew it would be. The wires

22:44

and pulley system was very exciting to

22:46

see in person, and while it was a bit awkward,

22:49

that just added to the excitement and the

22:51

danger. I am very excited to see

22:53

what they come up with next.

22:56

The Division of Figuring Out What All of These Keys

22:58

Go To has unlocked an ordinary

23:01

lock with an ordinary key. That's

23:04

what the report says. It doesn't say what they found,

23:07

it doesn't say if the lock was on a door

23:09

or a chest or a box or even a car. I

23:12

suppose it could have been a lock all by

23:14

itself. They added, nothing

23:17

to see here.

23:19

I'm going to choose not to think about

23:21

this, and maybe nothing will come

23:23

of it.

23:25

It's now time for another employee spotlight.

23:28

Today we are spotlighting Alvin Bools.

23:31

I am told that it is Alvin's job to

23:33

tell whether things at Kakos Industries

23:36

are upside down or not, and that

23:38

he's amazing at this skill, and that it

23:40

is also a lot harder to know when things

23:42

are upside down than you might think. Thank

23:45

you for your service, Alvin.

23:51

I am told that some of the forced workers

23:53

in our Hell labor camp have started to

23:56

glow. This could be the result

23:58

of the enlightenment they are now supposed to have. achieving

24:00

through hard work, or something

24:03

else could be at play. Meredith

24:05

Gorgoro, the overseer in this labor

24:07

camp, has not started to glow. She

24:10

still does have that incredible monster arm,

24:12

and I still want one, and they won't let me

24:14

have one, and I

24:16

really just think that's unfair. We are

24:19

looking into the glowing situation from

24:23

a distance.

24:26

They say that evil once flooded the

24:28

entire earth just to see what would be

24:30

left afterwards. This is things

24:32

we're taking credit for now. Today

24:34

we're taking credit for fake people, inauthentic

24:37

events, and your continued isolation.

24:41

Now obviously we can't know for certain

24:43

that we did these things, but I really have to

24:45

tell you that we feel really strongly about

24:47

it that we did, and you would be safer

24:50

on our side of things, you know? The smartest

24:54

ass has won today's Ruin-A-Life

24:56

drawing. Yep, that's a real

24:59

name. We don't need to add any more problems

25:01

to what is clearly a problematic existence

25:03

by drawing further attention to it. As

25:06

a result of this win, the life of the smartest

25:09

ass's nemesis will be ruined. That

25:11

nemesis happens to be Jimothy Jensen.

25:15

We gave the Wheel of Misery a sturdy spin

25:17

with great core support, and it eventually

25:19

landed on the position for decisive.

25:22

From this day forward, Jimothy Jensen

25:24

will be 40% more decisive in

25:26

all situations, having little

25:28

tolerance for indecisiveness when

25:31

there may be reasons to withhold judgment.

25:34

I think we can all understand how this might quickly

25:36

ruin a life. For evil

25:38

measure, the smartest ass will be a little

25:40

bit more indecisive, which will

25:43

be annoying and a waste of time at the

25:45

very least. Congratulations

25:47

on the win, and best of luck.

25:52

The Damnation and Ruination

25:54

Squad, the team responsible for making

25:56

the life-ruining declarations of the Wheel

25:59

of Misery come true,

25:59

are currently wearing skirts

26:02

that are so long that they have become

26:04

dresses. You see, the Wheel

26:06

of Misery hands down orders for what

26:08

they should wear in a given situation,

26:10

and it has ordered them to be wearing very

26:13

long skirts. In an effort

26:15

to trip slightly less over how

26:17

long the skirts are, they have pulled them way

26:19

up, which some authorities tell me makes

26:22

them technically dresses. They are still

26:25

tripping over them, however.

26:29

And this brings us to the end of our announcements,

26:31

shareholders. I understand that

26:34

some of you may be feeling the way that my staff

26:36

is about recent events in my personal

26:38

life, but I have to tell you that

26:41

I am fine. And you do not need

26:43

to do anything unless, of course, you

26:45

have an interest in purchasing evil bonds,

26:48

in which case I would encourage you to do so.

26:52

You will need to smash that controller

26:54

with whatever heavy object you have around

26:57

to destroy it. Do not attempt

26:59

to

26:59

reassemble it or the danger

27:01

will return. You have been warned.

27:04

The numbers are next. 12 12 12 13 14 13 12 44 44 99 12 12 11 44 55 99 1 2 3 7 1 2 1.

27:50

Kakos Industries is written and produced

27:53

by Conrad Mischuk, who is also the

27:55

voice of Corin Deeth and the composer

27:57

of the music. The introductions are

27:59

read.

27:59

by Ryan Jenkins and the credits are read

28:02

by Brianna Kittle, an example of

28:04

full-on beast mode. Please

28:06

visit KakosIndustries.com for

28:08

news, extras, and more episodes.

28:11

There are also transcriptions on the website

28:13

if you'd like to read along with the Kakos Industries

28:16

announcements. That's K-A-K-O-S-I-N-D-U-S-T-R-I-E-S

28:23

dot com. Please visit Store.KakosIndustries.com

28:28

for merchandise and special offers, and

28:30

get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription

28:32

donor at KakosIndustries.com

28:35

slash Patreon. You can submit

28:37

one-time donations at Paypal.me

28:39

slash Kakos Industries. You can also

28:42

purchase gear and other items for the production

28:44

at KakosIndustries.com slash

28:47

Wishlist. Join our community at

28:49

KakosIndustries.com slash Discord.

28:52

Questions, comments, or a strong desire

28:54

to collaborate? Drop us a line at

28:56

inquiries at KakosIndustries.com.

28:59

If you like Kakos Industries, be sure to

29:01

rate and review us on your favorite podcasting

29:03

service and connect with us on YouTube,

29:06

YouTube.com slash KakosIndustries,

29:09

Facebook,

29:09

Facebook.com slash KakosIndustries,

29:12

Tumblr, KakosIndustries.Tumbler.com,

29:16

Instagram at KakosIndustries,

29:18

TikTok at KakosIndustries,

29:21

and Twitter at KakosIndustries. We

29:23

encourage fan art and listener participation

29:26

on all our social media platforms.

29:28

Special thanks to our esteemed

29:30

shareholders, Alfredo Ravioli, Jack

29:33

Attack, and Deontre. Also

29:35

thanks to honored employees Calico, who

29:37

spun the grindstone, Rocket, who

29:39

sharpened the axe, and Anastasia Kay,

29:42

who cut down the weird tree that was bothering

29:44

us. The division of beanies, booties,

29:46

and construction projects that are probably too

29:49

large for yarn directed by Theo Cornett,

29:51

has started to knit the sports teams.

29:54

It doesn't seem like they know what sport

29:57

the teams play, or what a sport

29:59

is for that. matter. The

30:02

Division of Obscure Vintage Technology

30:04

directed by Craig Sizz has purchased an old acoustic

30:07

instrument that only plays

30:09

the wrong notes and the notes that

30:11

pull the sorrow out of you. The

30:14

Division of Subtle Efficiency Increase is directed

30:16

by Daniel R. Smith has made it super

30:19

awkward cutting down on chit chat

30:21

dramatically.

30:23

The Division of Saying It the Long Way directed

30:25

by Dino Schroeder has been workshopping a short

30:27

story titled The Little Duck Who

30:30

Couldn't Give a Fuck.

30:32

The Division of Kakos Cafeteria Reviews

30:34

directed by Seth and Josh has reviewed

30:37

Everything Is Steak. Everything

30:39

Was Indeed Steak Shaped 3 out

30:41

of 4. The Division of Improbable

30:44

Cookbooks directed by Hayden Neff has been

30:46

working on Now You're Cooking with Booze,

30:49

If You Last Until the Main Course You

30:51

May Have a Problem. The

30:53

Division of More Monday Mondays directed by Odie

30:56

has made Mondays That Much More Monday

30:58

by Making the Fluorescent Lights Suck

31:00

That Much More. The

31:02

Division of Villainous Introspection directed

31:05

by Sarah has been taking long walks

31:07

really diving into those thoughts about what

31:09

it is that makes evil so much

31:12

fun. The

31:13

Division of New Card Game Mechanics led by

31:16

Finn has developed a card that actually gets

31:18

you laid but you might choose not

31:20

to play it based on the circumstances. The

31:23

Division of Even Weirder Bugs directed by

31:25

Franco El Terrible

31:27

has discovered a bug that just fucking

31:29

loves feet.

31:31

The Division of Animal Stacking directed by The

31:33

One True Dave has stacked a whole two

31:35

hippopotamuses.

31:37

If you don't think that's enough, you

31:39

can take it up with the hippopotamuses.

31:42

The Division of Unwanted Board Game Expansions

31:45

directed by Kevin Rowland has created an

31:47

expansion set that has a slightly

31:49

different typeface and color scheme and

31:52

it is noticeable.

31:54

The Division of Perspective Exoplanet Tourism

31:56

directed by Victoria Wood has started working

31:59

on a pamphlet for for Omicron Polaris.