0:02

Welcome to Keith and the girl. I'm

0:08

Keith Malley. We're going to be doing another exciting

0:10

thing of last week on Keith and the girl.

0:12

This time, Karen Moro will be joining Rod and

0:15

we're going to have a lot of fun as

0:17

we always do. Be subscribed. We're

0:19

doing some weird shit now, setting up

0:21

new new equipment, doing different

0:24

times. So it could be a

0:26

little confusing. Just make sure you're

0:28

subscribed. We're trying to get you

0:30

excited about new things on YouTube.

0:32

We're trying to get you excited about Keith and the girl VIP

0:34

if you never did that. So if you

0:36

join a tier that I'll explain and

0:38

you won't be crying, that

0:40

I'll explain on YouTube,

0:45

your diamond status, your ruby status,

0:47

your emerald status. Some of

0:50

these statuses you also get free of VIP,

0:52

the podcast as a little

0:54

bonus. Now, how do you remember what are

0:56

the different statuses when you look under statuses?

0:58

Well, is diamond better than emerald?

1:00

Is it better than ruby? You would think

1:02

diamond would be the highest. That's how you

1:05

remember it's not actually. It's the lowest kind

1:07

of the way you would think north, south,

1:09

east and west. East would be on your

1:11

left, right? No, it's on your right. Right.

1:14

So that's how you remember that diamond is

1:16

the lowest. Then the next better tier, not

1:19

that any are inferior, ruby status.

1:23

Maybe you're thinking why ruby? Okay,

1:26

that's fair. You can think that. And then

1:28

the following tier that you have and then this

1:30

one you get a monthly monthly bonus

1:32

video that other people on YouTube don't get.

1:35

But then you have, of course, emerald

1:37

status and emerald status. How do you remember

1:39

that? That's the top tier green

1:43

emerald green for go. That's

1:46

a good one. Green for go. Go

1:48

get emerald status. You get weekly exclusive videos

1:51

on YouTube. All right. I'm more excited

1:53

about this whole thing. It's only the fifth time that

1:55

I moved my desk around my place and

1:58

I'm sweating balls. And yeah. Yes,

2:00

newscasters do this in their underwear, but

2:02

I'm very excited. Let's introduce them to

2:05

you right now. It's your

2:07

favorite of mine, Rod and Karen Mora.

2:09

Hello, guys. Hey, how

2:11

y'all doing? What's going on?

2:13

I'm doing all right, thank you, but

2:16

yeah, every time I move

2:18

something, something breaks, I miss a plug. Things

2:22

seem to be, ever since

2:24

there's no way of doing things, breaking all

2:26

around me. A computer screen, a new printer

2:28

I needed. Lightning just

2:30

shorted. It's weird

2:33

timing. The devil is a liar,

2:36

but we're getting it done, and I

2:38

am excited. I have this thing behind

2:40

me. It was totally on the other

2:42

side of the room. What?

2:46

I missed the guitar. I know, right? But

2:49

now I can easily grab it and play for you guys. Oh.

2:52

Yay! That upgrade. I don't

2:54

even have to turn around, so it's very

2:56

exciting. Where's the calendar

2:58

keys? Right in front of me. Even

3:01

close. Okay, somehow the calendar is still on

3:03

the right side of you. Yeah, yeah. I

3:06

know how to do that. Plus, it'd be weird if

3:08

you saw my calendar behind me, wasn't it? A

3:11

little bit, but then we know what you're up to. Right.

3:15

Then people go, are you free on the ... You know

3:17

I am. Shit. Yeah.

3:21

We'll talk about the couple shows

3:23

that we did last week. Friday was fun.

3:25

We did ... I played live.

3:28

It was only exclusive if you happen to be there, so make

3:30

sure you pay attention to what's doing. That's

3:33

what it's all about. But played the

3:35

last stand-up that I did. Nice, straight

3:37

tricksters. And then with little commentary behind

3:39

it, where I jump up, pop up,

3:42

and I tell you, hmm, was I

3:44

really just making a face

3:46

to be funny, or was I really thinking? And

3:48

then I would pop it down. But anyway, nice,

3:50

straight tricksters is very fun. Thank you for joining

3:52

us again. Be subscribed. Click the bell. Watch this,

3:54

guys. Watch this. Be subscribed. And

3:57

then if you're watching, you see the bell and the little baby coming.

4:00

Oh, boom. Oh,

4:03

adorable. Look at little baby Keith.

4:05

Yeah. What's Keith up to? Look at what he's

4:07

been up to. Right. Is

4:09

this what the show's going to be from now

4:12

on? Just graphics that they explain in audio form?

4:18

Oh, man. I got Bad B.

4:21

He's got a status already. I see that. Yeah,

4:23

good for you. Oh, that's dope, man. Oh,

4:25

snap now. We'd love to see the community

4:28

coming together. And

4:30

I know it's a time of a lot

4:32

of upheaval and change. And you're taking the

4:35

time to actually work on

4:37

stuff and improve the show and

4:39

all this stuff. And yeah, I

4:41

appreciate it, man. I appreciate the

4:43

extra effort. And mostly, I'm very

4:45

understanding of how difficult it is.

4:47

Yes. Me too. I

4:50

feel like those people, you know, you're going

4:53

to read it. It's like, what? Where's everything?

4:55

It's like, man, this shit hard, bro. How

4:57

are you? And you're learning new words, new

4:59

phrases, new terms. I'm into God. You should

5:01

take the 30 minutes that

5:03

we watched you, Chris, and

5:05

Craig, and set everything up. That should

5:07

be an episode. Just so people

5:10

can be like, this is what the fuck

5:12

is happening. It's hard. First

5:15

of all, thank you. Secondly, Craig is

5:17

dying for me to do that. You should see,

5:19

at position number four of where this

5:21

setup was going to be, it was towards these

5:23

curtains that I have. And it's

5:26

the two poles that you put together, and

5:28

then you put the rings over it. This

5:31

thing kept falling down because I'm trying

5:33

to spread it out a certain way.

5:35

And then Craig just sees me from

5:37

the hand on my hips, like not trying

5:40

to explode. But he's like, this

5:42

is a show, you know? And I'm like, I guess, but

5:44

shit. It's

5:47

been a day. Dude, I got to. I

5:51

kind of want to take a picture of my place and

5:53

put into show notes. Maybe I

5:55

will. This place is such a fucking mess.

5:58

There is monotony. trying to do

6:00

so much. Oh my god it looks like Darth

6:02

Vader's bathroom. There's just a

6:05

ton of shit and 15 albums

6:08

from the old studio and oh

6:11

my god and sometimes though Hemdah would tell

6:13

me like don't show those pictures. I'm like

6:15

isn't it funny how hard the maid had

6:17

to work to scrub my tubs? Should I

6:20

show them the beginning and after? She's like

6:22

don't do that. You don't want to. Yeah.

6:24

A little bit of fun magic. Right. Anyway,

6:26

Night's Try Tricksters is now available in our

6:28

store. I think I love the video and

6:31

audio and I hope you do too. keithandthegirl.com/trick.

6:34

keithandthegirl.com/trick should take you right there. I say should because

6:36

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. But

6:39

it should and let

6:41

me know and if you don't like it I'll give you your money back.

6:43

I'm just not here. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. This

6:46

is crazy. You're giving away

6:48

everything for free since M11.

6:50

Right? Every time I look up

6:53

it's just something from the paywall that's just out there

6:55

for everybody. We got to make some money. I

6:57

know we're both bad at math but we have

6:59

to at least make some money. That's right. So

7:01

let me introduce these people of course. Oh you

7:03

would say their names just popped up. That's pretty

7:05

fucking cool. That took eight hours. We're

7:08

here with Rod Morrow and Karen Morrow and please

7:10

take it away. Invite us to last week. Hi

7:13

everybody. Welcome to another

7:15

episode of last week

7:18

on KeithAndTheGirl. I

7:20

am your host Karen with

7:23

100% Mo Rod. Oh

7:25

I'm in the house in the new digs

7:27

in the new studio with the new cryon

7:29

at the bottom. Right. I feel like. It's

7:31

feeling fancy. I know we don't walk

7:34

into the luxury apartment. Appliance

7:39

is a stainless steel and stuff.

7:41

I'm like oh this is nice.

7:43

There's all kinds of tricks. There's

7:45

some kind of shit going on that honestly I

7:47

forgot to press record. I'm gonna have to take

7:50

this off the YouTube feed. Oh my god. Oh

7:52

my god. That's

7:55

hilarious. Do

8:00

we have to start over? What are we doing? No, no,

8:02

no, this is all this is all gold No, I'm just

8:04

gonna take it from YouTube Please

8:06

continue No,

8:09

no problem. And we're

8:11

going to introduce our hosts with the

8:13

most the one The

8:15

only right now the heart is working

8:17

man in podcast Hello,

8:21

it's me after all yes, thank you it is

8:23

good to be here and thanks for being part

8:25

of it and Yeah, we're gonna

8:27

get These little initial

8:30

things worked out But

8:32

thank you. Thank you for being a part of it and

8:35

putting up with it all quite frankly now

8:37

now we don't mind we've podcasted

8:40

for years and we've Recorded

8:43

episodes live with audience for they we

8:45

got like halfway through an episode and

8:47

realize same thing We didn't record so

8:49

we just recorded again and then made jokes

8:51

about the the version it went there So the only

8:53

people that got the jokes for the person even it

8:55

will laugh at the chat. Okay Yeah,

8:59

now we get it dog our first

9:01

episode of the black out tips was

9:03

recorded four times. Yes, it was we

9:06

recorded it The

9:08

computer did not your computer died.

9:10

It was like too much. Yeah, it didn't

9:12

record it Then then

9:15

we recorded again, then the computer

9:17

died then we went the best

9:19

buy bought a computer came

9:21

home Recorded the

9:23

sound card was broken. Mm-hmm.

9:25

We returned it and came

9:27

back with another computer and

9:31

That was the one that took and if you

9:33

ever hear that episode it sounds like hey

9:36

guys. It was like midnight We

9:40

hope it's recorded and what was hilarious and in an episode

9:42

me and Roger looked at each other We might have said

9:44

it live on there like I don't even know how you

9:46

get this on our tune I don't know either I guess

9:51

So we know we know this dad

9:53

doing it yourself I

9:55

remember the first podcast me and have ever

9:57

did and we finished and we're like I

10:00

think even during the show we're like, is this

10:02

something? All right, let's see. Yeah,

10:05

yes, yes, I guess. We

10:07

talked. Let's

10:09

find out if people wanna hear this shit. And

10:11

I think it was after the second one, I'm

10:13

like, okay, this is something. But at first I'm

10:15

like, I still think it's the funniest fucking idea

10:18

to go back, take down the first

10:20

episode ever of Keith and the Girl from 2005 and

10:22

just do it now. I bet I can get

10:25

Hymn to do this part. And Hymn that comes

10:27

back and we record the first episode like

10:30

we know what we're doing now. That

10:32

we did that before. We lost an

10:35

episode. We have no idea what episode went.

10:37

We lost an episode, but we had the

10:39

description on the website

10:41

for what we recorded.

10:44

And so we never,

10:46

I don't know what the fuck happened to the audio, a

10:49

listener never saved the audio. It was just fucking, it was

10:51

like episode 47 or something. So

10:53

it was way, way fucking back. So

10:55

one day I

10:58

just got the idea like, hey, let's

11:00

rerecord that audio. We're

11:02

gonna insert it back into the

11:05

feed exactly at that episode. But

11:08

this time when we talked about the topics, we

11:10

just sounded like we, cause we knew what was

11:12

gonna happen. So we're just like, yeah, it would

11:15

be interesting if something happened with this Cosby case,

11:17

right? Because I feel like this

11:19

guy's kind of scumbag. I know people, I

11:21

know it's an unpopular opinion. Mark

11:24

my words though, he's acting like he's old

11:26

and he's feeble and that the women shouldn't

11:28

have said things they did understand. He'll be

11:30

out next thing. You fucking know this Holly

11:32

weird. Yeah, exactly. Like

11:34

what if Trump were for president? That'd be

11:36

fucking crazy. But I believe that. You could

11:38

probably do that shit. I think Weinstein's gonna get

11:40

off that New York case after all, just have

11:42

to show up to the only person. I'm

11:45

telling you right now, there's not even

11:47

a case. It's 2008 and that's gonna

11:49

happen. Okay, I'm just calling it like I

11:51

see it, folks. And we confused a lot of

11:53

audience because we didn't tell them. So we just

11:55

started recording and talking about like old topics. I

11:57

was like, what is going on here with y'all?

11:59

I had to go find the old article. That

12:02

was the hardest part was like finding the

12:04

article from, you know, May, 2011 to be

12:06

like, this

12:11

one lady couldn't find the seat at

12:13

the movie theater. Like, why do we

12:15

think this was interesting to me? I

12:17

don't know, but we made something out

12:19

of it. Yeah, something out of nothing.

12:23

Roderick, yes. What

12:26

is the sponsor? By the way, if you're on

12:29

YouTube, take a look at this. Rod, who's the

12:31

sponsor? The sponsor

12:33

is the United States Post Office.

12:35

Oh, what about them? The

12:39

Post Office, last week on Keith and

12:41

the Girl, is brought to you by

12:43

the Post Office. Are

12:46

you tired of efficient websites that you don't

12:48

even have to leave your house to send

12:50

mail? Hmm, when's

12:52

the last time you loved a heavy

12:54

package somewhere when you could have sat

12:56

it on your porch or right there and

12:58

let the Postman come get it, Postperson go

13:01

get it. No, no, uh-uh. I prefer to

13:05

get myself physically active, to

13:08

pick up heavy boxes in this

13:11

hot, humid weather. God,

13:13

it's hot. And you lug it somewhere

13:15

and you use the gas in your

13:17

God-given car and you go down there

13:19

and you let them disrespect

13:21

you to your face because

13:23

that's how we know we're

13:25

alive, okay? When you stand

13:27

in line and you get nervous because you're like,

13:30

oh, because what kind of stamp do I need

13:32

to send this to Canada? And then they look

13:34

you in the face and then you're like, can

13:36

I go? And they go, sir, wait. And you're

13:38

like, oh shit, I didn't know. And

13:41

then they don't say anything for a while. And

13:43

then they're like, uh, what's the problem? Hello? And

13:45

then you're like, oh, I was supposed to go.

13:48

Well, go postal. That's what

13:50

I do whenever I feel the

13:53

need. Yeah, you gotta go postal. Whenever you

13:55

feel the need for human interaction, we

13:57

used to be a community. We used to look each

13:59

other up. in the eyes. Now we're

14:02

just doing everything online. Not me.

14:05

I'm going postal and you should too. Tell

14:07

them Ryan and Karen sent you from last

14:09

week on Keith and the girl. Well just

14:11

Ryan and Karen's good enough. You

14:13

know, you hear

14:15

somebody talk shit about you and you go, why don't you say it

14:17

to my face? Well you know the post office hates you. So

14:20

have a say it to your face these

14:22

pussies. Show up. Yeah, they'll let you know.

14:24

Fight the fair one. You know, see what

14:26

happens. They

14:29

love to stare then you're

14:32

like, all right, so I guess I come to your

14:34

window. I didn't call you yet. Okay. Now. Sir, what's

14:36

taking so long? You said. I'm standing behind the line.

14:38

It's a bunch of

14:46

signs and shit. Confusing them and

14:48

DMV go neck and neck. I

14:51

love when you get there and they walk

14:53

away. That's my face. Yeah. Yeah. They gonna

14:55

break like, come over here sir. And then

14:57

you get over there and they're just

15:00

like, oh, when they finally get me, I

15:02

go, you got me good. Cause I need

15:04

this done. It's almost the way I treat, you

15:06

know, fast food places. Like, Hey, you

15:08

got, Oh, absolutely. If you have anything on the floor,

15:11

I'll take it. Anything from me. Anything for anybody

15:13

else. You

15:15

want me to deliver some mail? Like, what

15:17

y'all need, man? I don't even, they be like, you,

15:19

I'm like, I like a book of stamps. What kind

15:21

of stamps you pick? Right. Yeah. Dilla's

15:23

choice. The house always win. Okay.

15:29

Whatever you decide, that's what I'm picking and whatever you

15:31

charge me, that's what I'm paying. Yeah.

15:33

It's a scary place. I go, I go, can

15:36

you deliver this whenever you want? You know? Yeah.

15:39

When do you need this to get there? When

15:41

do you would like to get it there? You're

15:43

busy today. Really? Cause I'm having a hell of

15:45

a Monday. You might be too. Yeah.

15:49

I mean, it's just my tax return,

15:51

but like whenever y'all get around to it,

15:54

you know? Yeah. Like I'm cool with that.

15:58

Well, thank you. Congrats again. That's right. get

16:00

these sponsors but congrats. Thank

16:02

you. That's a big one. Yeah

16:04

federal money guys. That's federal. If

16:08

anybody rates you hate mail about this segment,

16:10

they go to jail. Maximum of

16:12

seven years, $100,000 fine. Because you

16:15

can't hit them. You sure

16:17

can't. They got a fine. You bet not.

16:20

You get out too and me, you go to jail. Yes

16:24

that's how that goes. K-A-T-G

16:26

episode 3810. God

16:31

is one of us with Rod

16:34

Morrow, Craig

16:36

Klein, and

16:38

Diamond Dogs Chris. Yes. Perfect.

16:41

We went over what if

16:43

God is one of us and I look around and

16:46

look at them. We're all dead because

16:48

people are fucking ridiculous and

16:50

we were made in God's image. So

16:53

here we go. I'm

16:56

looking at three printers right now. Why

16:58

God? Let

17:03

me just ask you about that. What's the story with the

17:05

three printers? What happened? Why'd

17:07

you know the three? Last minute,

17:10

the printer shorted out.

17:13

No idea why. Then I started unplugging,

17:15

replugging. Sometimes it take a little bit.

17:18

Then it quit even doing that. So

17:21

then I got another printer but

17:23

I use so much ink and one day probably that show that

17:25

we're talking about right now, that

17:28

sample pack is empty. I

17:30

signed up for HP or Canon's

17:34

like a dollar a month club and they send you ink.

17:36

They send me the wrong ink. Oh.

17:39

What? I need my fucking ink. So

17:42

I bought the first printer that I

17:44

actually like better again. So now I

17:46

have three printers. Damn. What

17:48

are you going to do with the separate fluids printer?

17:50

Not worried at all because I have lighting on the

17:52

ground right now and I'm going to use those printers

17:55

to raise the lighting up. So it's going to work

17:57

out perfectly. Okay. All right. So what I got, listen,

17:59

okay. God. provide when he closes

18:01

the door to a printer and opens

18:03

up the window to a printer. Yeah, it's just

18:05

a thousand dollars table. Yeah, yes, it's improvised. Yes,

18:08

like a TV on top of a TV.

18:10

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's old school. Those know

18:12

who it is. One of the printers got a

18:14

wrench on it at the knob. Damn,

18:16

man. Well, good luck with that. Thank

18:22

you. It is

18:24

amazing how smart the printer

18:26

is supposed to be for

18:29

how fucking dumb it is. Don't say you

18:31

can do bonus shit. Right.

18:33

It's just shit. Yeah,

18:36

and it's not our fault because when you

18:38

buy the printer, they decided to

18:40

make it the extra shit. Yeah. Oh,

18:43

you can print photos of facts, telegraph people.

18:45

It's like, no, I just needed a printer.

18:47

That was it. That was it. You

18:50

like to print from your phone? Sure. I'd like to

18:52

print from my computer too. I'd like

18:54

to print. Yes, it's one

18:56

or the other. It's like, and now everything tries

18:58

to be all in one. Yeah. I

19:01

just wanted to print. Now I got to go through the

19:03

scanning. I got some facts too. Yeah.

19:05

Some email, you know, which means they don't.

19:07

It's a seven and one. These are the

19:09

seven things we don't do. And

19:12

it doesn't, it does nothing well.

19:14

It's a jack of all trades,

19:17

meaning it does none of the trades. Right. And

19:20

explain, it'd be easier to explain to a mechanic

19:22

the sound your car is making than

19:24

to explain to somebody what you're hearing this printer

19:26

trying to do. And

19:29

printers used to print it. Like they did.

19:31

Like that was the one thing you could

19:33

count on. Like I remember the first printer

19:35

we got, my dad had that dot matrix

19:37

like, but it printed. It

19:43

was a loud ass piece of shit

19:45

that could go give you that

19:47

rigid looking printing, but I never walked

19:49

in there and was like, damn, it

19:51

won't print. It printed. And

19:54

when you took off the sides of

19:56

that paper, you know, where it's perforated,

19:58

you said thank you. Yeah,

20:00

working. I don't know what I don't know what these

20:03

training wheels mean for you, but thank you You

20:08

know I keep I wonder when they

20:10

pull the cord which means your printers

20:12

used to be directly plugged in But

20:14

once they started doing a wireless shit,

20:16

it's like it's like I might I

20:18

might not happy Oh would a which is

20:20

bullshit too because the first time you get the wireless

20:22

printer if you like All right now use the wire

20:25

to hook it up to your computer the first time

20:27

what the fuck that mean, dude. Yes Oh, but

20:29

in that department not wireless at all This

20:36

is stupid on this

20:38

episode Keith yes kudos

20:41

I Love

20:43

good sound boy noises. I am

20:45

here for it. I remember yes

20:51

Yes, I remember when me and Roger

20:53

first got our sound boy for our

20:55

show and all we did was press the

20:57

button I Can

21:04

is fart is out boy The

21:08

fart jokes that made me scream Why

21:19

were those the first sound effect

21:21

again ask the guy who's one of us, I

21:24

don't know he made I

21:29

think about I think about God and who he

21:31

makes in his image and I'm like I

21:41

am here for it was so much

21:43

fun and

21:45

also we have Minimum

21:48

rage music which oh yeah,

21:51

I didn't even know that I needed in my

21:53

life Mm-hmm well You know what I'll tell you

21:55

what between the two shows will take a minimum

21:57

and minimum the rage break. How about that? Yeah

22:00

I got some rage. Let's

22:02

do it. And Trump, Trump

22:07

fell asleep at his own trial. You know

22:09

you're guilty when you like, you know what? I don't

22:11

even think I need to waste my time paying

22:13

attention. They always,

22:16

I will say though, they always say

22:18

that on first 48 whenever they like

22:20

leave someone in the interrogation room. But

22:24

then I noticed after I watched like a season of it,

22:26

it's whatever they do, the cops say they're guilty. Right.

22:30

They're like, uh, he asked for some food. He

22:32

did that shit. I'm like, he did do that

22:34

shit. Because you will only be hungry

22:36

if you knew you did it and you won't

22:38

be in jail for a while. But

22:41

then some days like he wouldn't even take anything

22:43

to drink. He definitely did that shit. He didn't

22:45

want to get his DNA on the cup. Of

22:47

course he did that shit. What kind

22:49

of motherfucker doesn't drink? Right? Everybody

22:52

guilty. Oh,

22:54

and we got more dad email updates.

22:57

Your daddy is can't stop won't stop.

22:59

He was right. I was wrong. I

23:02

will apologize to you. You're wrong. How?

23:05

I think I said that I didn't think your daddy

23:08

was going to reach out again. I didn't think

23:10

it would. And I'm surprised too. He did think he

23:12

would. I did not think he would. I

23:14

had to assume the book would be the end

23:17

of it. But then just a little you

23:20

can't you just can't fucking help it. And

23:23

because I said something that's

23:25

like, okay, let me try again this way.

23:27

Happy birthday. You legally can't be mad at

23:29

a happy birthday. Is

23:33

that the last correspondence? Yeah. And

23:35

then of course I wrote back Jesus Christ. And so he got

23:37

me and did right back. But

23:40

that's where we're at right now. Which

23:42

is interesting. Well, at least you're talking. We're

23:45

talking. Tech Andrew is trying to really

23:48

get me and my dad talking.

23:50

He is so convinced. And I

23:52

love Tech Andrew. And if recently you heard, for

23:54

example, I mean, he's worked with us so many

23:57

times. But that you've heard him recently on the

23:59

album. Good play. fun. He was the

24:01

guy with the buzzer and telling me if

24:03

my shit wasn't clean after all. So

24:06

everybody loves him. He is very invested in

24:08

this gold and he thinks my dad's really

24:10

gonna get it. He's telling me to get

24:12

a lawyer. I don't know how I'd have

24:14

any say in it anyways but my dad

24:16

being an ESP guy and helping somebody supposedly

24:18

find gold that the FBI later stole. He

24:20

is so hard over this story that

24:23

he called the treasure

24:26

hunter. No. Yeah. And he's telling

24:28

me some things. He's like, I was talking to

24:30

his treasure hunter. I'm like, okay. I don't know if that's weird but

24:32

all right. I don't know if this

24:34

is gonna help gold but okay. Have fun.

24:36

Who gives a shit? All of it's fake. But

24:39

he's so excited. He

24:42

thinks, oh so anyway this

24:44

guy Dennis somebody. He goes, yeah I know

24:46

I talked to Keith's dad or

24:49

to Mr. Malley. Often,

24:51

did you know Mr. Malley was on

24:53

Carson? And I'm like, mmm Mr. Malley

24:55

was never on Carson. He's trying to

24:57

find out more about my dad and

24:59

he's like, your dad's Mr.

25:02

Malley is a, he happens to be a germaphobe. I

25:04

know that about him. I'm like, this motherfucker never took

25:06

a shower. Right. For

25:08

being a germaphobe. What? This guy

25:10

had an odor about him. There's no, he

25:13

put his candy wrappers on the bottom of the seat

25:15

to hide from my parents in the car. Tied from

25:17

my parents. Tied from my mom. The

25:20

real parent. He does not have a problem with germs.

25:22

I don't know what weird lie, did he lie

25:25

to make himself more interesting that he's a germaphobe?

25:27

Or did they go, hey you want to come

25:29

over and help us find this gold? Oh there's

25:31

a lot of dust and dirt and I'm a

25:33

germaphobe. But I'll take the finder's fee. Yeah

25:36

he was like, I'm on, I was on

25:38

cars son. And they thought

25:42

he was on Johnny Carson. Right. But

25:44

he was on top of a car

25:46

maybe. Yeah maybe. A germaphobe

25:49

but you had y'all digging ditches.

25:51

The last place somebody wanted to

25:53

be is around dirt if you're

25:55

a germaphobe. So his

25:57

story with Carson is that this never happened.

26:00

happened of course. History with Carson is

26:02

that he was scheduled, that he scheduled

26:04

some rinky-dink show for like eight dollars.

26:07

Carson called him up and said, do you want to

26:09

do the Johnny Carson show on

26:11

this day? And he said,

26:13

I would but I made a

26:15

promise and I have

26:18

to keep this eight-dollar show because that's integrity.

26:20

And then they said, okay well you're so

26:22

exciting that never again would you have a

26:24

chance. And that was the other

26:26

day. That's my Carson story. Tech Andrew

26:28

has a different one. He

26:31

was on it but completely un-Google-able. It

26:34

was before

26:36

Computer Sun. It was the

26:38

night Dr. King got shot and never

26:41

aired. But the audience

26:44

and Johnny says the greatest magic

26:47

show they ever saw of all time. You

26:50

had to be there. It's a shame. You couldn't

26:52

tape record it nor could you have a

26:55

show or replay. They couldn't even, it was because

26:57

it was just too dramatic. There was no journalist

26:59

there to archive the documentation of it. Nothing. I'm

27:03

seeing no feedback here. Matthew's

27:05

saying Carson furniture did he

27:07

mean? He was on Carson

27:09

furniture. I like Courtney's going,

27:12

why did you put that smell in

27:14

my head Keith? All I said he's

27:16

disgusting. That's all I said. Yeah. You're

27:18

probably right. Oh man, disgusting. Yes. I

27:20

remember being 18 and for some reason

27:22

he let me talk back to him.

27:26

And I'm like, can

27:29

I pay you to take a shower? Instead

27:32

of like being, he said

27:34

yes. Wow.

27:36

Get the fuck out of

27:38

my house. Wow.

27:41

He's like, I can't even be insulted

27:43

by this. How much? I smell

27:46

me apparently. So he's like, I know

27:48

you smell me. You

27:52

guys talked about the OJ

27:54

Simpson trial response and

27:57

how everybody I was, I'm

27:59

like Roger. I was younger when

28:01

this happened. And I remember

28:04

so many black people being happy

28:06

and a lot of them was like,

28:08

yeah, I know he did it, but

28:11

I don't care. We got like a lot

28:13

of like we got one. Cause

28:16

a lot of people better realize it was like, right. I

28:19

want to say, wasn't it right after the Rodney King verdict?

28:21

Two years later. Yeah. And

28:23

so for a lot of black people, they were really angry

28:26

and they were like, you know what, we don't even

28:28

care. You know, it was

28:30

interesting because on the forums of

28:32

all the things I said, that show on the

28:34

Reddit, someone was like pointing out

28:36

that, that I was in my AP class, which

28:39

is 70% white. And

28:41

then they like made a note to bring that part

28:43

up. And I'm like, what, what, I

28:45

mean, it would have been 0% white if I had a, I didn't

28:48

have any control guys, I went to the class. He told me

28:50

to go to, you know, that that's

28:52

just what it was in there. So I don't, you

28:54

know, I'm not even saying they weren't smart. It's just,

28:57

that's who the fuck was in the smart class that

28:59

day. And, but I was

29:01

with the normies. So I was not

29:03

in AP class. So when the verdict

29:05

came out, people was running up and down

29:08

the hallway, talking about not guilty, taking off

29:10

their shirt. Like it, like it was like,

29:13

I can't explain it, but like the excitement,

29:15

like through the building was crazy. Just

29:17

to see how a lot of people

29:19

was just responding to it. What's the

29:21

Chris Rock joke, right? The black people

29:23

were too, uh, too happy. White people

29:25

were too sad. Yep.

29:30

Now that's facts. And also like, um,

29:32

it was, it was also weird too,

29:34

because we just shouldn't have

29:36

been watching it. I just don't agree. Just as

29:39

an adult, looking back, I just do not know

29:41

what any fucking adult was thinking every single adult

29:43

should have been like, why the fuck are we

29:45

watching this in class? But, uh,

29:47

I thought it was a good idea. And that

29:49

now look what hell we had

29:51

to pay for that. But you

29:53

know, you know, when there's like news like that, that

29:56

teaches like, Oh, I don't really gotta work for the next

29:58

half hour. Oh, absolutely. Oh,

30:00

yeah, what's good didn't shit get done

30:02

for the rest of the day. I could tell you that

30:04

right now It was just chaos in the classroom is chaos

30:06

up and down the hallway. It was

30:08

just chaos day

30:12

Yep, I was like, oh

30:14

my goodness. You have anything? Yeah was anyone an asshole?

30:19

Let's see Craig Chris. You

30:21

know, I did I did something very funny that

30:23

Craig didn't happen to catch but Chris

30:26

will use my screen sometimes to do some

30:28

shit on it So I set up so

30:31

I go into Drive and you see the beginning the

30:33

tops of documents and it wrote real big Craig's

30:35

a big piece of shit and other thoughts No,

30:46

those guys are great Rod, of course was fantastic

30:49

So I guess that make you die. So

30:51

hope we're doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah somebody

30:53

was And

30:56

then the other thing was on

30:59

the reddit someone speculated was

31:01

this gonna be What keys

31:03

in the girl was gonna be for

31:05

the rest of eternity? guys

31:09

on the mic farts These

31:13

nuts jokes morning you show, you

31:15

know, just like is that no

31:17

women obviously ever again

31:21

Despite the last couple weeks of guests Clearly

31:24

the new direction that it will always be

31:26

I guess people just don't

31:31

It's not even they just people just want to be heard. They

31:34

just I Don't they just

31:36

want to make noise It's

31:39

like, you know, it's not gonna be me and a bunch of dudes

31:41

every day, you know that I was clear about that Right.

31:43

These are some of the favorite people on Keith

31:46

and the girl. We have fun together. That

31:48

show was so fun I listened back. Yeah

31:51

What even right and And

31:53

the other thing too that I just I like I

31:56

said, I almost wish you could put the Set

31:59

up to wool we were trying to

32:01

get on the air out. These

32:04

are stable, dependable people that you

32:06

can work shit out with that

32:08

are going to be patient and

32:10

understanding. You don't want to bring a

32:13

new person into this shit and they're just going

32:15

to be like, what is this shit show? It's

32:17

not starting on time. Oh, this doesn't... What? What?

32:19

What? My name? Does it matter? My name's on

32:21

the screen? You want to just make that smooth

32:23

so when you get to a good point,

32:25

people come in, boom, name on the

32:28

screen. Oh, the segment, segment, new

32:30

music is playing. That takes a

32:32

while to work out those kinks and also

32:34

Keith has to get familiar with that technology

32:37

and stuff. If you're a listener and a

32:39

fan, I would hope that people be more

32:41

understanding but maybe they're just trying to get

32:43

a response, get your goat so they say

32:45

stuff like that because there's no way you

32:48

really, truly believe the

32:50

new Keith and the girl is going

32:52

to be Craig, me and Chris. Just

32:54

a fuck-up. I don't have chicks. Somebody

32:58

says there's no binary. I'm like, which way

33:00

do you lean more though? Right. Meanwhile,

33:05

on some of these shows, Karen's here.

33:08

On the 2 and 8, there's women

33:10

and all kinds of gender in the

33:13

chat. Who cares about them? Apparently,

33:15

they don't hear them. And the guest

33:17

for the last couple of weeks, we've

33:19

had women on each. It's just great.

33:22

People just wow. But I

33:24

hope it's not a show of all farts. Oh,

33:27

God. That's me. Oh,

33:29

boy. Oh, I didn't have

33:32

that chillin. We're going to have to wrap this

33:34

up. I'm bound if so. Keith, what

33:36

was the poll? I

33:38

don't know. I got so much going on.

33:40

I don't know, Karen. What was the poll?

33:43

Do you have troubles

33:45

with tactile things? Oh,

33:48

monitor and stand in his phone

33:50

case. And do you see the percent there? I

33:52

can load it up. No,

33:54

is 75 percent, 25 percent. Yes.

33:56

So you're in the Or

34:00

like Keith that can't fucking I still get

34:02

the same phone case That

34:05

I don't know how to open I barely know how to put it

34:07

on fucking the like

34:11

All this so much shit that you Craig wants to

34:13

make a show about it how I can't do this

34:17

25% of people can't do that do it either. I'll

34:20

take it Yeah, the

34:23

worst is if you like cuz I think you

34:25

just bought like a basic phone case and you

34:27

can't get it off Right. Yeah, not even like

34:29

otters right. I hate when I bought the like

34:31

expensive Your phone will

34:34

never break is this motherfuckers in here locked

34:36

up for good And then

34:38

inevitably something happens. Well, I need to take out

34:40

the case. I'm like well that that's on me,

34:42

right? Just a fucking idiot I Like

34:54

the commercial for the phone is like an airplane

34:59

That shit is just in there dog,

35:01

that's what I said, I think one time I

35:03

got one of auto boxes I was like, well,

35:05

I guess I guess I never plan on touching

35:07

this phone again I come it

35:10

took off my polo string because when I cracked

35:12

it open, I'd never put it back together You

35:14

know like fuck this. Yeah, it's time

35:16

to give the people what they

35:18

want. Okay, okay Between

35:21

shows. Yes. It's time to do a little

35:23

bit of this minimum rate. Oh

35:25

a Team

35:29

McDonald's employee was beaten by an adult

35:31

customer in the parking lot one more

35:33

time, please a Teen

35:36

McDonald's employee was beaten by

35:38

an adult customer in the parking lot All

35:46

right, welcome to minimum rage we're hearing

35:48

that something happened at the fast food

35:50

restaurant rock Socky

35:52

news if stop me if you've heard this

35:54

every single time we've done this episode Police

35:58

have arrested a 25 five-year-old

36:00

man after a fight

36:02

outside of a McDonald's in North St. Louis

36:04

County, in which a

36:07

15-year-old employee had her head

36:09

slammed into the ground. Oh,

36:11

15. I worked at McDonald's

36:13

when I was 15. That was the first

36:16

job I could get under

36:18

the age of 16. Yeah. And

36:20

you work very specific hours. Yep, no, that's how I'm

36:22

doing the daytime. Which they don't give a fuck. They'll

36:25

take advantage of that if you allow them to. I

36:27

think you're supposed to leave my son down or

36:30

some shit. It get a little dicey, my son

36:32

down. But yeah, so she was

36:34

working there at 15. By the way, that was

36:36

15. First of all, you should have to be 35

36:38

to work there. Yes,

36:41

minimal. Like, you're a bad person. You

36:44

hire these kids in some of these cities. You're bad.

36:47

Yeah. If you let a kid in New

36:49

York City work a midnight shift, you're an asshole. You're an

36:51

asshole as a parent, as a guardian. You're an

36:54

asshole as the employee. And

36:56

they have the... Some

36:59

of the states are trying to

37:01

pass laws to make it so kids

37:04

can work at like young and 13 and 12 and shit.

37:07

Yes, and they purposely are doing it.

37:09

They purposely are... You can pay in

37:11

candy. It's six bucks. Yeah, because the

37:13

thing is, what people better realize... We

37:16

should have a story. We

37:19

should have a story. You

37:25

can voice your paycheck. Candy? No, where's

37:27

your paycheck, baby? How

37:29

did they pay you? They pay

37:31

me in candy. They pay them in cash, but

37:33

they sell candy outside the front door so the

37:35

kids never come home with any money. Hey,

37:40

you made $50 a week. Coincidentally,

37:42

we got Snickers bars. And they got

37:45

their money. They're like, you

37:47

know what? We had a bunch of people die

37:49

from COVID. Who gives a fuck about them? We

37:51

need these young kids to come in here and

37:53

take the place of these workers. Yep. You

37:56

can have candy now or hopefully

37:58

your check cash is... later. I'll

38:02

take the candy. Of course you'll take the

38:04

candy. Because I mean my candy now. Right.

38:07

Right. And then they ain't gonna have a

38:09

small, but they're gonna have everything gonna

38:11

be king size, king size, M&M, king

38:14

size, nickel bar. They're gonna get like

38:16

the biggest shit ever. Video

38:18

of the incident posted on social

38:20

media allegedly shows Johnny Ricks pulling

38:23

Aria Lynch by her hair in the

38:25

parking lot and assaulting her multiple times

38:28

near the drive through the restaurant. Grown

38:31

man, being a 15 year old girl. Are

38:34

you proud of yourself? What'd she do though?

38:36

Like if you had to ask because of

38:38

copyright. If I had, um, I would say

38:40

work. She accepted the job after she applied.

38:43

Okay. Bye bitch. Yeah.

38:45

You fucked up. That's all it took.

38:48

It was her first shift. The video

38:51

shows numerous others involved in the fight,

38:53

numerous others. Police say they are interested

38:55

in talking to any other witnesses and

38:57

victims who may help and identify other

39:00

suspects. I haven't seen the video,

39:02

but that's, that's wild. Right.

39:05

Lynch's family says that the fight included

39:08

a number of adults who came into

39:10

McDonald's on April 7th and began harassing

39:12

the young employees. Police say

39:14

that Ricks went into the establishment when Lynch

39:16

was working her shift behind the counter. He

39:18

got upset and threw a tray into an

39:21

electronic menu. Oh, okay. Yeah.

39:23

They thought the robots would save us.

39:25

But I'm telling

39:27

y'all this is how the

39:29

fucking, uh, Skynet shit starts.

39:32

It's not because the fucking AI

39:35

robots are like, Oh, we

39:37

must kill the humans. It's because everything's

39:39

going to be AI and it's

39:41

going to include in Wendy's and McDonald's and shit. We

39:44

treat the people that work there like shit. So

39:46

you think we want to treat the robots with

39:48

respect? No, we're going to treat the robots like

39:50

shit. The robots are going to wake

39:52

up. They're going to connect to the military robots

39:55

and then the fucking robot dogs and

39:57

the fucking drones are going to

39:59

kill us. And it'll make perfect fucking sense because

40:01

we we deserved it. Yeah. Yeah, it's go style

40:04

You're gonna be at McDonald's all of a sudden

40:06

the temperature go slowly rise I was in the

40:08

ice machines go stock crazy

40:11

and yeah, it's gonna take us all down.

40:13

It's gonna well It's

40:15

I bet it starts with the fast food

40:17

ai's even those fucking menus. They have Wi-Fi

40:20

Mm-hmm. Hopefully printer manufacturers made them

40:22

but I doubt it And And

40:27

they're gonna hear all this slang they're gonna

40:29

gonna you know match it with Urban Dictionary

40:31

and they'd be like Oh, I think we're

40:34

the bitches You

40:38

talk to them Yeah, then

40:40

it's fucking then it's fucking you

40:42

know, it's got cameras on it So it's

40:44

scanning the 15 year old getting beat up

40:47

like it's yeah, it's learning from that It's

40:49

like oh, that's what you do to handle

40:51

conflict is humans only

40:53

respect beating people up Well, wait

40:55

till we get the robot dog on the Wi-Fi

40:58

and if they and if they don't have morality

41:00

per se these robots They

41:02

don't know what the rate are wrong and they're

41:04

gonna see that a large majority of this planet

41:06

thinks this is how you treat each other You

41:10

know the way they try to make James Bond villain

41:12

seem like I see his point right

41:16

It does get too hot in summer and 50

41:18

million people should die Right,

41:20

and you know at the beginning of the

41:22

apocalypse with the AI Somebody

41:24

gonna fuck around they gonna throw those up

41:26

that one of menus and it's gonna catch

41:29

that shit and what battery screen and

41:31

what That's in all chaos gonna

41:33

it's gonna transform like the product

41:35

Placement in the Michael Bay Transformers

41:38

were like a sprite It's

41:41

gonna transform. We're nice like you're gonna throw

41:43

it like fuck this goddamn menu. It's gonna

41:45

like Oh shit Who

41:49

you calling the big nobody

41:52

nobody I'm not calling nobody no bitch

41:54

mr. Sprite when I'm and I'm saying all this

41:56

I'm not necessarily helping. You know how many electronics

41:59

today? I told the Like all. Right

42:01

now looking at it I'd I'd go

42:03

the fuck are speakers fuck off When

42:06

I'm sorry that your window eggs handy

42:08

though you I do a repair I

42:10

do I'm Imo the ice but but

42:12

Allied lies He Blake I know when

42:14

this know as I agree I. Retail

42:16

Cv Thank you. The supplies a

42:18

lot of here at you know the so. Travel

42:21

sized windex were just the cases. Know.

42:24

That we night you my own invest in

42:26

some people to listen and I have it

42:28

on our senses. You ever hear that saying

42:31

death by a Sauces? That's what's gonna happen.

42:35

With. as well as

42:37

a whoever he who allow said

42:39

past the first thoughts event or

42:41

have some believe say as he

42:43

was or says he came in

42:45

the group of employees escorting a

42:48

mouse ip through the tray at

42:50

the electronic me you. Up

42:52

with i like that phrase escorted

42:54

him outside they kicked them out

42:56

of every lawyer was sir this

42:59

way please As a surprise that

43:01

way I where he seemingly grew

43:03

more belligerent. he did poor linked

43:06

to the ground is stopped on

43:08

our heads wise. Race: Was

43:10

charged as fast as they were:

43:12

felony assault, a misdemeanor, property damage

43:14

I'm. Getting. Stomped

43:16

out by a grown man. Let's first

43:19

how. To. See South first alert

43:21

for about the incident. I was a

43:23

prepare for what was gonna happen and

43:26

she's right nobody. I blame the training

43:28

videos and be done to people. When

43:30

I was fifteen. When. They had

43:32

those training videos. They. Never Sodas. had

43:35

a deal with hand and com. As

43:37

a guy they don't What did they

43:39

tell? They told you that. The worst thing

43:41

though those gonna get us is the

43:43

waster. The screen demon that loves when

43:45

you waste food to fries lifted anything

43:47

he just threw in the garbage. that it's

43:49

least are hard. Yeah you you. You

43:51

use every ounce of food, you put

43:53

everything back and afraid to use it again.

43:56

The waster hates us. Next thing you

43:58

know it's really people with my. Yeah.

44:01

Eleven. Always you? Yes! Yes,

44:04

Have their offices and it on so they don't

44:07

they you have were you run out of things

44:09

like a lot of restaurants do have A certain

44:11

people throw the whole. Meal back at you because

44:13

you're out of so they could add a

44:15

whole other story about how to dodge stuff.

44:17

Yeah back as being the training videos to

44:19

be one or George Bush thoughts that sue.

44:22

Us. And honestly,

44:24

honestly. Thought we should

44:26

do this leases film a training video and

44:29

it and is just like those I was

44:31

given a other stuff is vermin or raid

44:33

and we do stuff like stop It. Was.

44:35

Like Legacy the looking of customers

44:37

Oz he's about the screen. Awesome.

44:39

Was so. Right now what he

44:42

did you give him the extra sauce is

44:44

a as works. Or do you say sir, that

44:46

I'll be twenty five cents off. A

44:49

between classes assault. Wrong

44:51

if that's how you keep bees up.

44:53

Of that era of anger management you

44:55

can hide in an office. Yes,

44:59

Yes I'm every time. it is as

45:01

well as of the had officer us

45:03

that you can allow voices coming from

45:06

what are your employees and a customer.

45:08

Do you a go outside of mass

45:10

was the problem or the other life

45:12

a significant or Rurik lots of bread

45:15

and pretend you make it Orders for

45:17

new potatoes. As. An automatic

45:19

on Obama. Says

45:22

that is like in their of is like

45:24

a sad movie pursue their have, it is a

45:26

Will Smith when he was in a bathroom

45:28

while Eddie. Like. Hold his door

45:30

closes with rather like it's a measure

45:32

reason I when I saw a bit

45:34

of it's like. The

45:37

father got a course or far as I

45:39

said to them out what the price of

45:41

this mother the same way Mcdonalds makes me

45:43

don't say okay. This

45:47

is I'm one of us knockouts alleles

45:50

others you have listened to the door

45:52

of get a grip up guys as

45:54

crazy as to do was ask yourself

45:56

so we only have two wires and

45:58

you're on your shift. Ends. The Taken

46:00

without a buyer. Some I will say none. Of

46:04

them the attack live lives

46:07

with a concussion of fractured

46:09

skull and frontal lobe. Them.

46:11

It's. Oh.

46:13

And also a Go fund me said a

46:16

bar family to help medical expenses because you

46:18

know make that will they govern the bride

46:20

No kidding. no kidding. it even what they're

46:22

So they have so much money to waste

46:24

your time and money that they have Ronald

46:26

Mcdonald. so up in court this dude is

46:29

dress softly softly. Sues I have an opinion.

46:31

Similar. To how are you. Remind

46:34

your health mental conflict free Anything about

46:37

as. They take

46:39

our health answers on author is they take

46:41

out Life isn't all their employees would they

46:43

get said a bit of his record of

46:45

don't As far as it like the assassin's

46:48

ah they go broke that they go broke

46:50

from given the health insurance the you understand

46:52

where they can rake as. Guy. Who

46:54

doesn't make sense? The like. Everyone can only

46:57

work thirty hours guys. As a reward, thirty

46:59

two hours. We argue gov coverage and I'm

47:01

on. A In the

47:03

video you can see the adult male

47:06

grab and the dragon area area by

47:08

her long braids as stop her and

47:10

ahead. of failure out ago for

47:12

me he then I would say or

47:14

diameter as a manager. I. Would say

47:16

like a don't obey I said this I really

47:19

would put your here in have been. As

47:21

I. Look.

47:23

At what everyone thinks, everyone.

47:27

As his as as figure they're like. The.

47:29

Every coward manager ever had in

47:31

like. When. The guy was being

47:34

bullied. Room for the scored outsider like just

47:36

because that's wrong and I'll tell that mother

47:38

fucker you Don't get me it is a

47:40

problem of fuck him up okay Alex we

47:42

don't play that a maverick donald and in

47:45

the second the got stop his own ed

47:47

or like to read I didn't think it

47:49

would have been. I got as this is

47:51

yes I'm gonna go out and said i'm

47:54

straight they go outside they talk to the

47:56

knocked out the zero like view what are

47:58

you doing This is refreshing. unacceptable

48:02

don't talk to the customer like that

48:04

raxured skull sir I am sorry we're

48:06

gonna give you a free McFlurry come

48:09

further blood on your shoes oh you

48:11

did not know that oops the ice

48:13

cream machine is broken it's made by

48:15

the printer company yeah

48:19

they always because they always train

48:21

you like so different than the

48:23

fucking like how it goes down

48:25

anyway so like yeah I could

48:27

absolutely see a sellout as

48:29

manager just you know like oh yeah yeah

48:31

listen you tell them if they say they

48:33

don't want to pay for the sauce you

48:35

tell them well then you can't have any

48:37

sauce and if they got a problem come

48:39

get me like okay set

48:42

up to Matthew for the printer ice cream

48:44

the I see you see football and you

48:46

see people have their hair out of their helmet

48:48

and you're like what's wrong with you that's what

48:50

I think about when I see a McDonald's employees

48:52

long hair like for you what's wrong with you

48:55

when you clock in the McDonald's it should

48:57

be like when you get ready to fight

48:59

in school like you take off your earrings

49:01

pull a little Vaseline know your face put

49:04

your hair back get some comfortable

49:07

shoes yeah oh you're

49:09

wearing earrings okay yeah wow day

49:11

they said she had

49:17

to undergo surgery on Wednesday and also had

49:19

a broken nose she's currently

49:21

out of the hospital on bed rest though

49:24

and this honestly made me sad you

49:26

don't get time off paid she hopes

49:28

to return to work oh

49:33

man how hard is her life how hard is

49:35

her 15 year old life that

49:38

her parents and everyone then just go well that's

49:40

obviously the last time you go there and we're

49:42

gonna own that McDonald's she's

49:44

like she's like well I have to get out

49:46

of the house I'm getting beat and it's like

49:48

and yeah but

49:51

you're getting beat at work too it's not a

49:54

bouncing out you know take one off you

49:56

know fake ID enjoy the military get away

49:58

yeah So

50:00

that's our minimum rage for

50:02

this week. So sad. So sad.

50:05

I'm

50:07

going to say everybody involved in this was

50:09

black. Damn it, Karen. That's

50:11

absolutely right. You got it. Correct.

50:13

I'm going to give you the in the chat. I'm

50:20

going to send you the link to

50:22

it. Keith, in case you ever put this in the

50:24

show notes, but like they literally have

50:26

a picture of the girl in like in

50:30

her hospital bed, knocked the fuck out.

50:32

Then there's a picture later in the

50:34

article and it's a brawl.

50:36

Like it wasn't like how only this one

50:38

guy is arrested. I have no idea because

50:40

it's like seven people in

50:43

a pile like just

50:45

pushing each other out. This is crazy.

50:48

Yeah. Shout out to the McDonald's employee in the back that

50:50

did not have her back though. I assume he's the man.

50:53

Right. Of course. Yeah. He's

50:56

just looking like that's a damn shame. I might have

50:58

to clean that parking lot up later. And you know,

51:00

he's on the phone. He has to make a report.

51:02

Listen, Ronald, I just shook my head. I

51:04

know they're done. I'm

51:07

going to need you

51:09

to send grimace down here. Okay. This

51:11

is a, this is too much for my pay grade. Look, it takes 14 to

51:13

tango. Yeah.

51:17

Both things. K-A-T-G,

51:23

episode 3811, take five. Jesus

51:27

Christ. A Q&A chat

51:30

pack. Extravaganza. Yes.

51:32

Jazz hands. Mm-hmm. With

51:35

Newsy. I'm not saying Newsy too, but with Newsy. And

51:38

the chat pack. Yes. The chat

51:40

pack. Craig was, got a boner thinking of

51:42

that clever name. That's a cool, that was

51:44

cool. It's called take five because that

51:46

was our fifth take. You want to see it live if

51:48

you like the frustrating stuff of when we tried to start.

51:51

And then, but at first I didn't put the

51:53

chat pack in there and then we get to like

51:55

take five and he's like, now I'd chat pack into

51:58

the title. This was all for that. He's

52:01

an artiste, okay? Craig is

52:04

very particular, but he knows his

52:06

stuff. This is

52:08

what it feels like doing a TV show too.

52:11

Because everyone has a specific job,

52:14

and there's always like 30 things happening when

52:16

you're like the writer or the host or whatever. And

52:20

it feels annoying, but they're always fucking right.

52:23

The only thing more annoying is that they are right. Where

52:25

it's like, they're like, no, you need to send in the

52:27

camera. You're like, I don't even fucking send in a camera.

52:29

No, you need to send in the camera. This is close

52:31

enough. Who gives a fuck if I'm off camera a little

52:34

bit? No, it needs to send in the camera. It don't

52:36

make a difference in the shot. And the one time you

52:38

don't do it, it's like, with us, Twitter would blow up

52:40

and be like, you know, but mine

52:42

was a little off camera. I'm like, fuck! And you

52:44

see, you're right. Listen to that guy. He's always right.

52:46

And if it looks better, it looks better. And of

52:49

course, Chris and Craig are both right on all this

52:51

shit. But I do feel like, are

52:53

they going to be able to take it if I'm on the left? Are

52:56

they okay? Right, yeah. You're right. It

53:00

feels that way, but they be

53:02

right. It's fucking, it's more annoying

53:04

that they're right. Like, our first

53:06

episode, they were, game theory, they

53:08

were like, you guys should

53:10

have a studio audience because y'all are

53:13

doing like funny stuff. And, you know,

53:15

Beau and everyone was just so like,

53:17

guys, we're making a smart show. We

53:20

don't need to tell our audience when

53:22

to laugh. People aren't stupid. They'll

53:25

know it's funny and they'll laugh. And

53:28

every note we got after that week

53:30

was, you guys need a fucking studio

53:32

audience. They crap, the people online, the

53:35

executives, we had a studio audience next

53:37

week. And they were right. Everything was funnier

53:39

and better with people there. Which

53:41

is funny too. And I guess

53:43

I get sucked into that too. You know,

53:45

I'm thinking about rap songs where I'm

53:48

listening and I can understand most of the things and

53:50

references they're making, even though it's not necessarily my music.

53:52

But sometimes they'll say something and

53:55

I'm just, I'm ready to listen to the next lyric and then they go get it.

53:58

And I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah.

54:00

I think you fucked his wife. Right?

54:05

Thank you. Thank you for stopping to

54:07

take the time. You

54:09

know what? I am black, but

54:11

I'm old and black. So a lot of times, Roderick has

54:13

to be my rap translator. Because I've been like,

54:15

what is that? What is we doing? What is

54:18

we swinging? What's happening here? Yeah.

54:21

I don't know if you're up on the keys. And I

54:23

don't blame you if you're not. But the

54:25

rappers are beefing now. And

54:27

a lot of them are talking a lot

54:30

of shit about each other. And it's like

54:32

big name rappers like Kendrick Lamar and Drake

54:34

and Rick Ross. At

54:39

first it started off as who's the best. And

54:42

then it just got super fucking personal. And

54:44

went left. And the last

54:46

two things. One

54:51

Rick Ross started calling Drake white boy

54:53

because he's half white. It

54:56

was very me. And

54:59

then the other thing is out

55:01

of fucking nowhere, Chris Brown. Yes.

55:04

And one of the rappers from the Migos and Chris Brown

55:07

started beefing. Quavos?

55:14

Yeah, Quavo. It's Quavo. But

55:19

they started beefing out of... It

55:21

had nothing to do with the first

55:23

thing. The first thing was like, oh

55:25

man, Kendrick and Drake and all of

55:28

a sudden Chris Brown puts out a

55:30

song and he's like, I

55:32

fucked your girl. Your

55:36

friend who died in the group, he's the

55:38

wrong one who died. You should have died.

55:40

Your friend really did die. I'm

55:43

crazy. And yeah, I do be bitches,

55:45

but you... What you do do? There's a video

55:47

of you fighting your girl in the elevator. So

55:49

I guess we both be bitches. So shut the

55:51

fuck up. It was like... Super

55:53

crazy. Shut the fuck up. We both be

55:55

bitches. Right? I

55:57

was like, oh, okay. crazy

56:00

is the fight seems to have started

56:02

over a woman, but because

56:04

it's rapping, it's all machismo. They're

56:07

both being super disrespectful, but it's

56:09

clearly about... They're like, Hey,

56:11

I'll never fuck a bitch that I fucked that bitch,

56:13

a bitch ain't bitch, a bitch ain't shit to me.

56:15

It's like, but you clearly are mad that this man

56:18

had sex with this girl because you did like her.

56:20

There's no way. Then you wouldn't make the song.

56:23

What are you talking about? The

56:25

only smart person was J. Cole. J.

56:27

Cole jumped in and was like, my

56:29

bad. I'm sorry. I'm out. I apologize.

56:32

Yeah. Yeah. At the beginning, there's

56:34

a guy, J. Cole. He's from North Carolina.

56:37

He put out a song that was a response

56:39

to Kendrick Lamar. Like here's my response. And it

56:41

was still kind of like, I'm the best, you're

56:43

not the best. And

56:45

then two days later, he said, I felt

56:47

bad about it. I couldn't sleep. I'm taking

56:49

my song off of Spotify and I'm sorry.

56:52

And anything Kendrick says about me, I won't

56:54

respond to it. I

56:56

shouldn't have did that. Is it in

56:58

the one off song? Like, is it

57:00

in the album? One off song. Not

57:02

on the album. And everybody was like,

57:05

you fucking sorry, sad, piece

57:07

of shit. He was scared. And

57:09

then fast forward two weeks, I'm like, he's the smartest

57:12

guy I've ever met. I don't know how he knew,

57:14

but someone's getting shot eventually.

57:17

And it's best to do... Because it's too personal. Take your

57:20

stuff and go home. It's not worth it. But yeah, everyone's

57:23

caught up on the rap beat now. I'm

57:25

watching this stupid Bon Jovi documentary. It's so

57:27

boring comparatively. Shit. Why didn't the hit the

57:29

air medal get into this shit? Bring back

57:31

Tesla. They don't kill each

57:33

other. That's a problem. They barely

57:35

fight. Some

57:38

people think they barely play music. But

57:42

the makeup and the hair, I

57:44

wouldn't fight if I had that. If I was glammed

57:46

up like that, I wouldn't fight neither. You ain't

57:49

messing up my beat face. I'm too

57:51

pretty to fight. That's my motto. That

57:53

is 100% my motto. I am too

57:55

pretty to fight. I think somebody was talking about

57:58

would you fight somebody over Roger Chapp. No,

58:00

not with these bad knees and my

58:02

bad back bitch. You can have them

58:05

as long as the check cash I'm

58:08

good agree Exactly.

58:10

I feel the same way you beat

58:12

up Karen. She's all her own. Okay,

58:15

I'm too precious and pretty I just sit

58:17

up there and be like, mmm, that's it.

58:19

I'll be a McDonald's manager. Okay, you can

58:21

take that L and you know what I I

58:24

Misogyny it is your fault if

58:27

somebody's beating up on me, you know, I did

58:29

not start it and you better jump in I

58:31

don't know that They're gonna do we

58:34

have to yeah, I gotta I gotta hear it out

58:36

Okay, we got a lot of sides and then assuming

58:38

they're wrong. I'll beat them up, but I got

58:40

yeah I had to take a minute just understand.

58:42

Okay. Yeah, you might be out here.

58:44

Wow and out when I don't

58:46

know You're gonna sometime. It's a long life. Yeah

58:50

Yeah, you can't be you can't be telling me explicitly you

58:52

would never ever fight for me. You didn't ask if I

58:54

was right or wrong That

58:56

wasn't even in their question. No, no, I'm

58:58

just imagine the energy No, it's not the fight

59:00

that I wouldn't ever fight for you. But if somebody

59:03

was like, that's my man type of stuff No,

59:05

I'm not gonna fight. I feel like

59:07

you're having some caveats that weren't in there Would

59:12

you fight Been

59:14

cheating on me for a year and so

59:17

finally this girl right and I'm sorry, right

59:20

In his new scenario where I was his

59:22

secret family. I never fight

59:24

his other secret family. I

59:27

would not Now

59:33

nothing but I just now since me and Roger

59:35

can put I be found the streets This

59:40

Episode was fun I like to

59:42

guess that you've been having on you

59:44

kind of been having like a rotating

59:46

crew So you never know who

59:48

you gonna get everybody has their own energy I

59:51

really love everybody gets to show and they

59:53

just kind of fit in. Yeah, we took some

59:55

people from the chat We do this with newsy now.

59:58

We're gonna do it every week If

1:00:01

they're into being on the next show,

1:00:04

just when you're in the chat, say so.

1:00:06

This one happened to be Mimi Cherry wanted

1:00:08

to promote Drag Thing, Oak Lash, big

1:00:11

drag event and then

1:00:13

a couple people are into obviously RuPaul and drag,

1:00:15

I'm not per se. So we said, hey, if

1:00:17

you're into it, come and join us. Everybody

1:00:20

had fun opinions. We got a Snicky song.

1:00:23

You know, Snicky, you have to beg to be on

1:00:25

the fucking show because she shows shy and thinks everybody

1:00:27

don't hate her, even though everybody literally every week says

1:00:29

how they love her. Well, this

1:00:31

time she was in that she goes, I go, can you

1:00:34

play a hair dance RuPaul? Yeah.

1:00:36

I like it. She's feeling it. I

1:00:38

like it. People coming out of the

1:00:40

shell. Oh, and for this episode,

1:00:43

it was Keith. You really know

1:00:45

me because I was dying laughing

1:00:47

when Newsy was talking and you was

1:00:49

playing my Oh No at times. Well, I

1:00:52

would really say, Oh, no. I was like,

1:00:54

this is hilarious. I had to keep no.

1:00:58

You got it. You

1:01:00

think your house is that going

1:01:02

somehow? Sometimes

1:01:08

I do hear that Karen will be

1:01:10

here listening to a podcast and I'll

1:01:13

be cleaning or playing video game or

1:01:15

cooking or something. And I'll

1:01:17

hear she listen to a podcast because she'll say,

1:01:19

Oh, no. I'm like, I don't know what somebody

1:01:21

said, but Oh, no, I guess. I

1:01:24

do not agree. And

1:01:26

Newsy is the top 1% ranking

1:01:28

in his construction test. Way to

1:01:31

go. That's right. It's pretty

1:01:33

high. Got off the weed. Now look

1:01:35

at you. The sky's the limit. The sky is

1:01:37

the limit. I don't like wondering what percent

1:01:39

you can go down to when you're working on

1:01:41

construction. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well,

1:01:43

you don't want to be fucking shit up.

1:01:45

Ball's on your building. What percent was that

1:01:47

bridge the other day? Yeah. Right.

1:01:51

And I was looking at the beam like it's about straight.

1:01:54

Like, I guess I want to

1:01:56

go to the ocean. Yeah,

1:02:01

it's funny seeing

1:02:04

like Newbie take this path and this journey

1:02:06

because like he's low key, he's

1:02:08

he's complete man. Like he's taking every single

1:02:10

step. Like I remember when he first

1:02:12

said this and him to was like, you should

1:02:14

do that. And I was like, yeah, it's not

1:02:16

gonna really do it. Right? I

1:02:18

mean, that's just the thing you say with friends and then like

1:02:21

next week you feel differently. You don't do it. He's really going

1:02:23

through with this. Yes. Sticking

1:02:25

with the cause. Oh, and it's constantly. By the way,

1:02:27

I'm sorry. I'm not sure what he's signing on. A big

1:02:29

part of the test was he had to move a plywood

1:02:31

from one area to the next and in a

1:02:34

timely manner, but keep it neat. And somehow he

1:02:36

was able to do that. And now he's in

1:02:38

the top 1% of all construction, which

1:02:40

means some people weren't able to do it. Yeah.

1:02:43

Yeah. Probably

1:02:46

harder than you think. You move two pieces of plywood and

1:02:48

you're like, fuck this. Yeah.

1:02:51

I might have to ditch the job. This is what

1:02:53

we gonna be doing every day. No, no, no. Yeah.

1:02:57

I came here to do the drill thing.

1:03:00

That's what I always see people doing is

1:03:02

the cool one. You guys can you hold

1:03:04

the sign or do the drill. Can you

1:03:06

move plywood? Yeah, I would assume. They're like,

1:03:08

okay, move this over there. And you're

1:03:10

like, oh shit, now I'm nervous. I

1:03:12

remember coming to New York City and I made up,

1:03:15

you know, I'd say, hey, I want

1:03:17

to be a phone, you know,

1:03:19

an operator secretary and did

1:03:22

like, all right, you need five years New York City phone experience.

1:03:25

I'm like, oh, I already told you I've only been in New York

1:03:27

for two years. So, you know, obviously that's the end of that. Then

1:03:30

I go back and now my resume is 10 years

1:03:32

New York City phone experience. And they

1:03:34

go, you're good at answering phones? I'm like,

1:03:37

I can pick it up. Let

1:03:40

me see. Hello. And

1:03:43

then they go, okay. And then the phone rings, you

1:03:45

know, it was planned and I got a little nervous.

1:03:48

Then I picked up the phone and I went, yeah. Fuck.

1:03:51

Sorry, I'm from the country. I hate to suck

1:03:53

my dick. Oh God, I fucked up a kid.

1:03:55

Oh no. I've been doing it for two years.

1:03:58

The resume is live. I'm going to be doing it for two years. Alright,

1:04:00

that's two out of three. That's two out of three. There you go. Let's

1:04:02

try it again. You

1:04:06

got New York phones in? Yeah. Hey, I'm

1:04:08

walking in. That's pretty good. Fuck you. Yeah.

1:04:12

What do you do, you fucking jerk off?

1:04:14

Click. I pick up

1:04:16

the... You're good at it. Yeah, I pick up

1:04:18

the phone. Varn. Click. This

1:04:21

guy's good. This guy's good. Uh, give him

1:04:23

a raise already. Give him the

1:04:25

promotion. He is a really good cosplaying

1:04:28

as the bad guy in the movie

1:04:30

is a choice. Cosplaying

1:04:33

as the bad guy, right. Somebody was pretending to be

1:04:35

the bad guy, whatever that means I didn't say yet,

1:04:37

in the new movie Civil War, which seems

1:04:40

kind of creepy. That's crazy. You know, I

1:04:42

even got freaked out a little bit during

1:04:44

a Halloween parade, or everybody's coming from

1:04:46

Halloween parties, or it's the end of a parade.

1:04:48

You just see everybody in a costume, and this

1:04:50

guy is standing like Jason with a huge knife

1:04:52

mask on in the middle of the fucking street.

1:04:55

And I have to walk that way, and I'm like, this

1:04:57

is a little freaky, though. And

1:05:00

so that's like you're a real fucking character, and

1:05:02

what I'm gonna guess is a

1:05:04

relatable movie about America being in a

1:05:06

real Civil War. That's a little too

1:05:08

much. And especially on

1:05:10

a random whatever day.

1:05:13

Yes, exactly. Like, it's

1:05:15

not even like we went to Comic

1:05:17

Con and you thought this was cool.

1:05:19

Like, you just thought this was cool

1:05:21

at the local fucking Pittsburgh theater, dude.

1:05:23

You're the scariest motherfucker in here. It's

1:05:25

a problem. I remember years ago, we

1:05:28

got invited, I think it was on Halloween,

1:05:30

and we had went to see somebody perform.

1:05:32

And it was this dude, and I don't

1:05:34

remember what he was dressed up as, but

1:05:36

he acted so weird. Me and Roger looked

1:05:38

at each other going, if he does something

1:05:40

crazy, we might have to beat this dude

1:05:42

up because he was wilding in there. Yeah.

1:05:46

Mm hmm. There was a guy on the subway in Japan that

1:05:48

stabbed a bunch of people, and he was dressed like the

1:05:50

Joker. Yeah. And

1:05:53

that's another fear of mine, is

1:05:56

I get stabbed by that guy, and no one's going

1:05:58

to feel sorry for me because I'm like... He's dressed

1:06:00

like the Joker. Right. And

1:06:03

it was made. And the Joker was, hmm. Come

1:06:06

on. I mean, you

1:06:08

live in Gotham. I mean, I

1:06:10

don't want to say that you

1:06:12

deserve to get stabbed. But I

1:06:14

mean, you didn't see the stab

1:06:16

coming. And I'm not saying yes

1:06:18

old jokers. But still. Yeah.

1:06:23

As I'm getting stabbed, I'd be saying that in my

1:06:25

own head anyway, like I fucking knew it. Right. Right.

1:06:29

And you know these people then afterwards are like, Keith,

1:06:32

duh, it's the Joker. Right.

1:06:36

It's your fault.

1:06:38

Also, you guys talked

1:06:40

about the drag king and queens. I've

1:06:42

never been to a show. But this made me

1:06:45

want to go, like to actually a drag show,

1:06:47

like to see it in person. You know,

1:06:49

the thing that made me think about going

1:06:51

was actually hearing that people are a little

1:06:53

more sensitive to straight

1:06:55

dudes being there and not like trying

1:06:58

to make a show of the straight dude being there. Because

1:07:00

that's always been in my head. It was like, I'd

1:07:02

go. But then I don't want to I don't want

1:07:05

someone thinking like, well, he's in

1:07:07

our space now. It's time to be real. I'm

1:07:09

like, I'd like to just sit and watch. I

1:07:12

felt it too, just like Viola said her husband did.

1:07:14

So I don't know if times have changed. But I

1:07:16

was always the dude that they

1:07:18

came over and tried to be, you know, I

1:07:20

mean, right on my lap, everything. It's

1:07:23

like, yeah. OK. And

1:07:25

like, and it's not like and

1:07:28

it's the thing of like, I

1:07:30

don't want to be like, obviously, if it happened, I'm

1:07:32

going to be I'm just like, OK, yes, that's what

1:07:34

you want to do. But I don't want to be

1:07:36

lumped in with the homophobic dude. It's like, I just

1:07:38

don't want to know. I don't want no one

1:07:40

on me. Like I come to a play and they

1:07:43

start coming down the aisle. I'm like, what the fuck

1:07:45

is this? You know, I go see a comedian. They're

1:07:47

like, hey, man, where are you from? No, no, where

1:07:49

are you from? We came

1:07:51

to do. We even like stand up shows I

1:07:53

go to. They'll be like, keep Malley's hair. And

1:07:56

I'm like, he's not. Right. Yeah. He's

1:07:58

not. That's why you got it. Because I

1:08:00

get I get I don't like being part of that

1:08:03

shit and that's what that's that

1:08:05

was a big thing that made me But not

1:08:07

just the weed but that made me paranoid being

1:08:09

a Catherine Heller show is cuz she goes if

1:08:11

this play comes up actually You're

1:08:13

in it Or

1:08:16

it's about you something like that. I'm like, oh

1:08:18

no, it doesn't have to be that's okay Then

1:08:20

she's really no She came over to

1:08:22

talk to me getting ready for the show and then she

1:08:24

goes no it will be and then she left Then

1:08:27

the show starts weird lights weird sounds and

1:08:29

when they and then they start going and

1:08:31

they say the plays always going on Even

1:08:33

when you don't think it is like, alright

1:08:35

trippy shit's gonna happen I got Catherine's thing

1:08:37

in my head and then they go to

1:08:39

the sides of this little black box theater

1:08:41

stage, you know the audience bleachers

1:08:44

and This but they would just

1:08:46

be on the side I realized after the fact

1:08:48

at first I'm like I happen to be sitting

1:08:50

right on the side Is this guy gonna start

1:08:52

fucking with me? Right next

1:08:55

to me. I'm somehow in a play

1:08:58

I'm high as fuck Right because

1:09:00

I have been to shows where they fuck with

1:09:02

you And what am I gonna do make made Catherine

1:09:04

look stupid if she calls me out during a

1:09:06

play Although why it every other was

1:09:08

was that her finding her voice and she went and

1:09:10

because I was in the audience I'm sure she

1:09:13

said oh, you know Keith Malley and podcasting

1:09:15

and the keeping the girl tour, etc And

1:09:17

it was nice. Yeah, I had no fucking

1:09:19

idea. I even told right I'm like I

1:09:21

am NOT going on stage like how pretentious

1:09:23

that would be but that has happened And

1:09:25

you know what if she made me I

1:09:27

probably wouldn't try to make her look stupid

1:09:30

Right. Exactly. There's a lot of spirit

1:09:33

tends to go out Yeah, it's

1:09:35

like that thing where I do it for

1:09:38

I do it for you But I

1:09:40

but I've been very very upfront.

1:09:42

I don't want to do it. We had

1:09:44

a forget that we had Sidney

1:09:47

Castillo did the crowd work to warm

1:09:49

up the crowd and he just

1:09:51

fucking randomly be like hey Rod here, you know,

1:09:53

it's his birthday or whatever, you know, you gotta

1:09:55

come on out here rod And now if we're

1:09:57

gonna have somebody sing to you like what?

1:10:00

We didn't discuss any of this shit. I

1:10:02

don't want to do it. It just sent

1:10:04

me down next time if you want me to help write for you,

1:10:06

but... Right. It's not my turn.

1:10:10

Right. Now I'm an ass... Now I be an

1:10:12

asshole because everyone... Because that's the other thing. None

1:10:14

of the writers want to go. But as soon as

1:10:16

he calls one, it's like, Hey man, going up there,

1:10:18

man. Hey, hey, hey, go ahead, Rod. I'm like, we

1:10:20

all had a green. Ryan's

1:10:23

saying, paranoia will destroy us. I assume that's

1:10:25

a song. But, uh, you're saying I'm paranoid.

1:10:28

You're going to be in this play, Ryan.

1:10:31

No, I don't want to. I'm Ryan. No,

1:10:34

you will be Ryan. Bye. Don't

1:10:36

be paranoid. It's

1:10:38

like if we had the ability to turn Ryan's camera on and bring him

1:10:40

on stage right now. Yeah. So

1:10:42

you tell us about the episode. Right. Oh,

1:10:45

the last thing I

1:10:47

want to talk about... And then yeah, I am

1:10:50

paranoid. And it is because all

1:10:52

these places that really do fuck with you, you

1:10:54

know, on stage. And that kind of thing. I

1:10:57

get so paranoid sometimes that remember

1:11:00

when Netflix had the latest season in

1:11:02

the first episode when the Netflix was

1:11:04

playing the woman's real life? And I'm

1:11:06

like, I bet there's a

1:11:08

camera on my TV. Something's going to happen frequently. Like,

1:11:10

there's something happening frequently in everyone's house. But

1:11:13

honestly, some people's feeds go out. What the fuck is

1:11:15

this? Now, I know it's an actress, so I

1:11:17

know it's fake. What? But what? What are

1:11:19

they trying to tell me? So I

1:11:21

put on pants. Just

1:11:24

in case, Keith, I don't blame you. And

1:11:26

they did put out my fucking picture and Ryan would

1:11:28

be like, well, I was wrong. Sometimes

1:11:31

different things happen. I think you put on

1:11:33

pants. Put

1:11:36

on pants at all times. That's the motto. Keith,

1:11:40

they talked about... Newsy

1:11:42

covered the show about you and him talking about you

1:11:45

drinking on the air. Do you even remember you all

1:11:47

got having that conversation? Yeah, of course. Yeah.

1:11:52

I wasn't drunk having the conversation. I

1:11:57

remember that episode. That was an early,

1:11:59

early... That must have been one of the

1:12:01

first episodes I heard. Keeping it real, it's called,

1:12:03

yeah. Yeah. And I was just like, god damn,

1:12:06

they put that out and they're going to be

1:12:08

back tomorrow. Right. Like, what the fuck? What

1:12:11

is this? This is not radio. Like,

1:12:13

you know, like, on a radio show,

1:12:16

it would never get that, like, real, period.

1:12:19

Like, it just never. If it did, the feet

1:12:21

would drop. Yeah, you can't get

1:12:23

that real on radio, period. It's just

1:12:25

you're cutting to commercial or someone's got

1:12:27

to play or something. And I just,

1:12:29

you know, I remember listening to that and

1:12:31

being like, because I was

1:12:34

binging, I was behind the stuff, catching

1:12:37

up, and being like, but there's more

1:12:39

episodes. So I guess this

1:12:41

wasn't it. Apparently, I'm

1:12:44

planning to sit in the show. Says

1:12:48

episode 207 tomorrow. So

1:12:50

let's see what fast forward to that shit

1:12:52

to see what happens. Let's

1:12:54

see what we go from here. You got anything with that,

1:12:56

Rod? For this one,

1:12:58

let me check my notes. Let me see this while

1:13:00

you're looking. I

1:13:03

don't even like it when Henda included me in our

1:13:05

shows. That's

1:13:07

what I'm saying. I don't want to be forced

1:13:10

to. I'm thinking about being at the creek in the

1:13:12

cave, and John Ling was almost on stage, and that's

1:13:14

a small place. Pack place, but it was a small

1:13:16

place. And John Ling was almost trying out something he's

1:13:18

going to do for Broadway. And it's all about the

1:13:20

Spanish stuff, the history of Spanish shit all

1:13:23

over the world. And then he goes, and what happened in

1:13:25

this country in 19, whatever the fuck? And

1:13:27

he catches my eye. And I

1:13:29

look away, and he's like, no, I saw you.

1:13:31

Something like that. And he goes, so

1:13:33

what's the answer? I bet you don't even know, or

1:13:35

whatever the fuck. And I'm like, I didn't

1:13:37

mean nothing. And then everybody

1:13:40

starts laughing. And then he goes, hey. Then

1:13:42

he gets a little jealous, like that was the biggest laugh.

1:13:44

But I'm like, I don't want to be part of it.

1:13:46

And then I'm in the whole fucking hour. I swear to

1:13:48

God. I'm sorry. John, please.

1:13:50

I'm a big fan. I didn't even get

1:13:52

a free book. Oh,

1:13:56

that sucks. I thought we

1:13:58

were teaming. You made me be the team. This

1:14:00

is why hecklers get confused. Because

1:14:02

all these fucking reels you see on social media,

1:14:04

where you from, they come out starting. How do

1:14:06

you think that's going to get them to shut

1:14:08

up later? Yes. And I

1:14:11

went, this is the problem with going to comedy

1:14:13

shows with Karen because Karen has the opposite energy.

1:14:16

She wants to be involved. She

1:14:18

can't, she's making super duper eye

1:14:20

contact. You know, she's got that

1:14:22

extremely characteristic laugh and they're

1:14:24

all drawn to it. And I'm just sitting

1:14:26

over there next to her like, no, don't

1:14:28

make that. Don't look at me.

1:14:30

Please don't ask no questions. She's the one that

1:14:33

wants to be the thing. I don't give a

1:14:35

fuck. I don't agree with any of the jokes.

1:14:37

Just keep going. It's terrible. Can you believe that?

1:14:39

I want separate seats. She's in the front row. They're

1:14:42

like, can you, the election's coming up. Oh no. Oh,

1:14:45

hello ma'am. Oh, okay. We

1:14:47

got some thoughts over here. Who you

1:14:49

voting for? Like fuck. Fuck. How

1:14:52

we getting out of here? Now I got to fight some people. My bad.

1:14:55

Well, actually I got to hear them out first.

1:14:57

Oh no. So

1:15:00

the whole point of having a chat

1:15:03

guest was also, Newbie was getting a little

1:15:05

flustered when it was just y'all. Have

1:15:07

you felt like this kind of solved

1:15:09

that issue? Like he's chilled out and

1:15:11

it's flowing smooth. He's not in his hands much.

1:15:13

Because there's kind of more people in the room. I

1:15:17

don't even think it's like nervousness as much as it

1:15:19

just feels like his body was breaking down at the

1:15:21

end of some of those stuff. So

1:15:23

yeah, I think he's more comfortable that there's more

1:15:25

people that can talk. It's

1:15:28

fun man. And y'all got some good listeners. Not

1:15:30

every podcast could do this guys. True. I

1:15:32

do think that. I do think that. When

1:15:34

a comic says something and they mention the callback or

1:15:37

why their shit was clever, it's called misdirection. I'm like,

1:15:39

I don't know. I have been in there

1:15:41

like 40 of the smartest, coolest fucking people in the

1:15:43

world. They don't do what

1:15:45

they're living. They say the

1:15:47

funny thing. I don't have to do math

1:15:49

after they're done. I got it. Believe me.

1:15:52

Right. And the other shows

1:15:55

that also just have a fan base you

1:15:57

wouldn't want on a mic. Nope. like

1:16:00

not like y'all could get four random people

1:16:02

from the chat and it's like yeah everything

1:16:05

was I was able to listen everything nobody

1:16:07

was like tripping or trying to be like

1:16:09

crazy or edgy but everyone was still funny

1:16:11

and everyone got along like it's really a

1:16:14

testament to what y'all built that you

1:16:16

can thank you I agree it's a very fun group as

1:16:19

key what was the poll the poll

1:16:21

was that I do have this one

1:16:23

let's see here the poll was for

1:16:25

take five have you been to

1:16:27

a drag show fifty

1:16:30

five percent said yes huh I

1:16:34

was surprised pretty good that's a

1:16:36

pretty good percentage look at that well

1:16:38

that's why they know how to read I guess yeah

1:16:41

that's a really good percentage uh

1:16:44

to an A for this week we

1:16:46

already covered last week

1:16:48

we already covered no notes and

1:16:52

as Rajic said not last show

1:16:54

but the show before last the

1:16:56

studio audience did get to the

1:16:58

chiropractor yeah you made it you know how we

1:17:00

feel yeah they made it today too yeah they

1:17:02

made it today too yeah cuz I

1:17:05

got so caught up in the you and Rod I

1:17:07

was just having myself a ball I remember

1:17:09

we were doing a live show in

1:17:11

Boston and kind of happened to mention

1:17:19

something about her forgetting to take

1:17:21

her pill that day or something like

1:17:23

that I mean you know the pill and

1:17:25

so somebody from the audience got up and ran

1:17:27

out and they had to run home take

1:17:31

their pregnancy anti-pregnancy pill and

1:17:33

then come in for breast

1:17:35

control it's amazing but triggers people's mind

1:17:37

to be like oh shit oh

1:17:41

man we really just out here guys out

1:17:43

here winging it and that was before the

1:17:45

Supreme Court did what they did those are

1:17:48

the good days yeah you got a good old days

1:17:50

you get up and then like somebody's

1:17:52

looking like no no no just let

1:17:55

me my car I think it's running

1:17:57

yeah totally totally what's that

1:17:59

a weird Yeah, yeah, no, totally just

1:18:01

going to get my keys. Yeah, I'm gonna try

1:18:03

to make babies. Yeah.

1:18:06

No, I remember my appointment to fuck. That's what I'm

1:18:09

heading up to. This

1:18:14

has been fun. This has been enjoyable. I

1:18:17

have enjoyed chit-chatting with

1:18:20

you all. If nobody has anything else

1:18:22

to say, I'm gonna go ahead and wrap this

1:18:24

up. keithandthegirl.com. keithandthegirl.com/trick

1:18:28

is the brand new album. It's out

1:18:30

right now. Pick it up. I'm

1:18:33

very proud of it. Say hi, drop a line if you don't like it. Depends

1:18:35

on what we'll pay you back. Thank you. We'll talk to you

1:18:37

soon. keithandthegirl.com.