0:00

Hi, everybody. This

0:07

short segment is what we call for the good

0:09

of the order. It's something we used to do

0:11

at the end of my sorority meetings, if you

0:13

can believe that, where someone

0:15

would share something that they came across in

0:17

the course of the week, a poem, a

0:20

song lyric, a short story that

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they found enormously helpful as they

0:24

went about daily life. I

0:27

wanted to pick up the thread because I am

0:29

so often wowed by something I see in the

0:31

world that I want to bring back and hand

0:33

off to you. So every

0:35

Friday, we produce a short segment

0:37

called for the good of the order. Think of

0:40

it like an audio greeting card, a

0:42

thing to share with the people that you love

0:44

around the country who you don't get to see

0:46

or talk to enough, a thing

0:48

to discuss with the people you do see

0:50

and talk to on a more regular basis.

0:53

This is Kelly Corrigan-Wonders for

0:55

the good of the order. This

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episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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limited by state law. Hi

1:52

guys, for this week's for the good of the order,

1:54

I wanted to talk about mindfulness. It's

1:57

a super common term thrown around constantly.

2:00

I was keen on it as

2:03

a concept from a distance, but I feel

2:05

like I only just got it. And

2:07

maybe this isn't even technically what is

2:10

meant by the professionals in

2:12

the space when they say

2:14

mindfulness, but for me, this

2:16

has really been working and so I wanted to

2:18

give it to you because that's exactly the purpose

2:21

of For the Good or the Order is to give you something

2:23

useful. So a

2:26

piece of the puzzle that

2:28

I wasn't understanding is how

2:30

the senses play into mindfulness.

2:33

And so when I'm feeling elevated

2:36

in one way or another, like

2:38

I'm anxious or I'm super frustrated

2:41

with something or I'm hurt or

2:43

I'm feeling despondent that I'm

2:45

not getting any traction on a given project,

2:47

I mean these are all emotions that I'm

2:49

having like almost every single day of the

2:51

week. And so I need

2:53

it as much as the next person. Then

2:56

what I've come to is that for

2:58

me, the way to come down from

3:00

that unproductive, rattled

3:02

state that is taking

3:05

myself and my circumstances and

3:07

my work way too seriously,

3:10

because honestly, what are these problems that

3:12

are turning me inside out, is

3:16

to get in touch with my senses. So

3:18

first I take a deep breath to see if there

3:20

is a scent in the air and it

3:22

might be dishes in the sink, it might be the smell

3:24

of coffee in the air, it might be cut grass from

3:27

the window, it might be the kind

3:29

of odd smell of the air

3:31

conditioning unit, it could be the

3:33

lingering scent of my licorice tea,

3:36

but I really tune in. Like what does

3:38

this space smell like? Not because

3:41

I really care what this place smells like, that's totally

3:43

beside the point. The point is that I just want

3:45

to enter the moment more fully. And

3:47

so I only have these five senses

3:49

to work with and so I use

3:52

them all, I bring them all into it. So

3:54

first I sort of inventory the scent of the

3:56

room. And then I

3:58

feel... Like where am I in

4:01

this room? And what does my

4:03

waistband feel like on my waist? And what do my shoes

4:05

feel like on my feet? And I'm

4:07

in a baseball hat nine times out of 10. So

4:09

what does the band of the baseball hat feel like

4:12

on my head? What do my teeth feel like in

4:14

my mouth? I mean,

4:16

honestly, it's just like a complete

4:19

inventory of every sensation that I

4:21

can catalog. And

4:24

then I think about taste. Like

4:27

is my egg sandwich still the taste in

4:29

my mouth or am I tasting my tea

4:31

or am I tasting my toothpaste? Am I

4:33

tasting my incredible mouthwash that

4:35

I really kind of love, which is from a sponsor

4:37

that we used to have called Lumino. And that,

4:40

I'm telling you what, that stuff tastes good.

4:42

And then I use my eyes to just

4:44

scan the whole room and

4:46

I try to slow way down. And

4:49

this, I think is really hard for somebody who's

4:51

used to running a household because almost

4:53

everything I see is asking

4:55

me to do something. Like there's a little coffee stain on

4:58

the counter that I could wipe up or there's a dish

5:00

in the sink that I could drop in the dishwasher. Or

5:03

the pullout where we put our trash

5:05

is just ever so slightly open. But

5:08

this is not a time to do things. This is

5:10

just a time to note things.

5:14

And the longer I look, the more I see

5:16

things that I didn't see a minute ago. Like,

5:18

you know how when sun comes through a

5:21

window and you see the kind

5:23

of particles in the air, like

5:25

that's the kind of seeing that I'm trying to

5:27

do. Pass level one into

5:30

something that you don't always notice. This

5:32

is very helpful if there's a window

5:35

because there's almost always something beautiful out

5:37

a window. Even in New York City,

5:39

I find that when I look out

5:41

the window I can almost always see

5:43

something like a young mom strolling by

5:45

with her kid. Like that sort

5:47

of thrills me or a funny looking dog, that

5:49

thrills me. Or a kid with his basketball headed

5:51

over to the basketball courts. All

5:53

that counts. And it

5:55

brings me into this present moment, which is all

5:58

I'm really trying to do. So let's

6:00

go through the senses. We've got touch, we've

6:02

got sight, we've got smell, we've

6:05

got taste. And finally, we

6:07

have what's going in our ears. And

6:10

for some reason, this one is best for

6:12

me at the very end because

6:15

oftentimes it seems like there is no sound,

6:17

that there's just an absence of sound, but

6:19

that's almost never true. There's almost always some

6:23

little collection of sounds,

6:25

like maybe the dryer

6:27

is going upstairs and you can hear it sort

6:30

of gently turning. For sure,

6:32

when I'm in Montana, there's always a bird

6:34

somewhere. And often when I slow down, I

6:36

can hear this train go by or

6:38

I can hear somebody cutting their lawn or I can

6:40

hear somebody starting a car. And they're

6:42

not all pleasant sounds. It's not necessarily

6:45

lovely. It's just the fact of

6:47

that moment in the passing of

6:49

time. I'm trying to let that

6:51

moment catch me and

6:53

grab me and hold me

6:55

so that I'm not moving forward in my

6:58

mind or I'm not moving back to my

7:00

frustrations. But then I'm just right here

7:03

in this little tiny nothing moment where

7:05

things smell kind of good and kind of bad and they sound

7:07

kind of good and kind of bad and my body feels sort

7:10

of good in some places and sort of crappy in others. And

7:12

what I'm seeing, some of it's clean

7:15

and some of it's dirty. And maybe

7:17

the taste in my mouth is telling

7:19

me I need to go brush my

7:21

teeth. It doesn't matter. The positive and

7:23

negative scale isn't really the point. It's

7:25

just that there is a moment happening

7:27

and it's happening right now, whether

7:29

you attend to it or not. Then

7:32

this other thing that I've been doing only for

7:34

like a month now, but I really like it.

7:37

And this is gonna sound like Kookie pants. Like I

7:39

can hear my daughters laughing at me, but I don't

7:41

care because it's working and whatever's working, we should share

7:43

with each other. As I put

7:45

my feet on the floor and I close my

7:48

eyes and I put my hands next to my

7:50

thighs, before I get up, I just review. Today

7:54

is Friday, July 1st, 2022. And

8:02

then I say the point of today is

8:04

blank. And

8:06

I just try to give myself one purpose for

8:08

the day. Like maybe one of my kids or

8:10

a friend is going through something and the purpose

8:12

of my life for that day, the reason why

8:15

it's worth me being here is

8:17

to somehow be

8:19

of use to somebody that day, right? Or

8:21

maybe the purpose of the day is just

8:24

to enjoy it. Like today is a day

8:26

to rest, to enjoy, to count

8:28

your blessings. Or today is a

8:30

day to be surprised and

8:32

to be open to whatever comes. Or

8:35

today is a day to reach out, to make people

8:37

in your life feel loved. Or

8:40

today is a day to move through

8:42

your list calmly and

8:44

with purpose. And I still

8:46

haven't opened my eyes yet and I still have my

8:48

feet flat on the floor and I

8:50

still have my hands next to my thighs. And

8:53

I kind of roll my head all the

8:55

way around and I take

8:58

one deep breath and then I open my

9:00

eyes and then I stand up and

9:02

then I stretch like all

9:04

the way to the ceiling. And

9:07

that's it. It takes like all of

9:09

30 seconds, maybe a minute. But

9:11

it's a way of trying not to

9:13

waste a day. Like trying to actually

9:15

notice each day as it happens. And

9:18

in this little routine, the

9:20

very specific thing that helps me

9:23

land the day in my mind

9:25

as like it's a big deal that this day

9:27

is here is saying the year. So

9:30

they say today is Friday. That's

9:33

not specific enough. Today is Friday, July 1st.

9:36

Again, not specific enough. But when

9:38

I say today's Friday, July 1st, 2022, there's

9:43

something about that that makes it so clear that

9:45

this will never come again. And

9:48

that's all I'm trying to remind myself is

9:50

that today counts. Today's a day like lucky you, here

9:52

you are with your feet on the floor, ready

9:55

to get up, ready to enter a new day

9:57

and we've all lost people. We

9:59

know that. that there are people that don't have

10:01

this thing that we're getting, which is this

10:03

day, this Friday, July 1st, 2022. So

10:09

I hope this doesn't sound

10:11

too kooky pants. Really,

10:14

I'm really offered not

10:17

to be teased by my children, but

10:20

rather to be useful to you. So

10:22

happy Friday, July 1st, 2022. Make

10:26

it a day. All right,

10:29

guys, I see you on Sunday. I have another thanks for

10:31

being here. From

10:45

BRX.