Writing is my release. Whenever I need to vomit out of my thoughts, I place my phalanges (lol what a word) on my computer keys and let them type away. It’s not pretty. I typically swear a lot because that’s just how I am and I don’t give a fuck who’s going to read it. It’s for me and only me to process things.

In this week’s podcast episode and blog, I have released a completely unfiltered raw journal entry from 7 months into my concussion recovery, and first time I decided to let go of soccer, but the Universe wouldn’t let me. 

That day was one of the most insane days of my entire life.  And it was my first glimpse into the power of truly surrendering.

A single phone call caused a complete 180 degree shift in my perspective. Before the call, I was 100% convinced that I was going to do whatever it took to make a full comeback. After the call, I had this instant, unexpected realization that I didn’t care about coming back to play pro soccer, I was over feeling like shit every day, and just wanted to feel like myself again. 

I truly, with every fiber in my being let go of coming back and rested in this knowing that I would be okay, even if I never played soccer ever again.

The sudden mindset change, itself was wild, but then, the next day, something Tiger-Level wild happened. Which led me to healing more in week than I had in the entire 7 months since my initial concussion. And I ended up not leaving soccer. 

Surrendering is some powerful punch. yall. I encourage you to drink it.

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