1:13

Buen día, mi gente,

1:13

and welcome to La Vida Más

1:15

Chévere de Childfree Latinas,

1:15

the only Spanglish podcast for

1:21

childfree Latinas y Latines,

1:21

trying to dismantle the toxic

1:25

cultural brainwashing we all

1:25

grew up in so that we can

1:28

design our best lives instead. I'm your resident childfree

1:31

Latina and host, Paulette Erato.

1:35

Today, the toxic cultural

1:35

bullshit that we are unlearning

1:39

is that childfree people, we

1:39

exist and we are not the devil.

1:45

I know you don't need convincing

1:45

of that since you're already

1:48

a listener of La Vida Más

1:48

Chévere, but this might be

1:51

the episode you send to those

1:51

people that keep badgering you

1:54

about when you're having kids. Let them hear it

1:56

straight from a parent.

1:59

And if you need additional

1:59

help with that, especially if

2:01

it's your own parents that keep

2:01

bugging you about this, I have

2:04

an episode with my mom, too. She'll give them a

2:06

piece of her mind. That link will be

2:08

in the show notes. In what has quickly become a

2:10

year of firsts, I've invited

2:14

my brother Erik, who's not

2:14

only the first straight

2:16

Latino on the show, but also

2:16

the first father to come on.

2:20

That's right, my brother

2:20

Erik is not childfree, but

2:24

his one and only sister is. And we've never talked

2:26

about it, so why not have

2:28

the very first discussion

2:28

about it on this show?

2:31

You might be surprised

2:31

by what he has to say.

2:34

While you're looking over

2:34

his bio in the show notes,

2:37

be sure to click on the link

2:37

to subscribe to the Substack.

2:40

As an extra for subscribers,

2:40

I'm releasing the origin

2:43

story behind Erik becoming

2:43

a meme making machine.

2:46

Not me-mes, memes. Also, I might throw

2:48

in a Beerocrats YouTube video as well.

2:52

Those were the days. By the way, our parents saddled

2:54

both of us with awkward names.

2:58

Mine, Paulette, no one's

2:58

ever heard of that, no

3:00

one knows how to spell it. And Erik's is spelled

3:01

differently than your

3:04

autocorrect wants it to be. He's named after Erik

3:06

Estrada, yes, the actor from

3:09

CHiPs, and therefore it's

3:09

spelled with a K, not a C.

3:14

Got it? Cool, let's go talk

3:14

to Erik with a K.

3:18

Mr. Fontanez, will you

3:18

please introduce

3:20

yourself to the audience?

3:22

I am Erik Fontanez,

3:22

commonly known to the

3:28

rap industry as Nameless.

3:30

Commonly known to the

3:30

marketing industry as

3:34

The Guy Who Makes Memes. Commonly known to the podcasting

3:35

industry as the Stache

3:40

Man, or For Meme Not You. But, most notably, I am

3:41

known as your little brother.

3:47

My baby brother.

3:49

Baby brother, sorry. That makes sense, because I

3:50

still wear diapers, so, for

3:54

those everyday accidents.

3:55

It's because you're old now.

3:57

Hey, man, some things

3:57

in life you can control.

4:01

Your bowels? Not one of them.

4:03

Oh, my. Anyway, so, everybody welcome

4:04

my baby brother to the program

4:09

today, and the reason that Erik

4:09

is on, well, one, he's Latino.

4:14

Si.

4:15

But he is a father.

4:17

I am.

4:18

So you're not childfree. However, we've never had this

4:19

conversation, and I'm all about

4:22

the first time we have a real

4:22

conversation recording it.

4:25

Yes, all for

4:25

the natural approach.

4:28

We've never

4:28

talked about how you feel

4:31

about me being childfree. Not that your opinions are

4:32

going to change how I feel

4:35

about my life, because obviously

4:35

I'm very happy in my life,

4:38

and we get along really well. We've always been pretty tight.

4:42

So, we'll jump into

4:42

that in just a second.

4:45

What I was going to say

4:45

is this is kind of also a

4:48

reunion for us because we used

4:48

to have a YouTube channel.

4:51

We did.

4:52

We talked about

4:52

beer and that was so much fun.

4:56

Beerocrats represent.

4:58

Circle back to what you said about the rap community.

5:01

You, you released a

5:01

mixtape in the early 2000s?

5:05

2006, yes. The, the Anthem.

5:09

It was very much my passion

5:09

project that I did with

5:12

my buddy Free Speech, a. k. a. Aswan Morgan.

5:16

He and I got together and

5:16

over a period of time we

5:20

produced, wrote, and recorded

5:20

29 different tracks and

5:26

put it out as a mixtape. Sold it in record stores

5:28

because those stores

5:31

existed at the time. And, uh, you know, got a

5:32

little bit of rap fame,

5:36

albeit locally, and maybe in

5:36

the tens of people that were

5:41

following us at the time. But I did, I did at

5:42

one point have over

5:45

10,000 MySpace friends. So that was, that was, uh,

5:47

I did, I absolutely did.

5:51

And the only reason that

5:51

happened was not because I

5:54

was popular, because Aswan

5:54

figured out a way to hack into

5:59

Myspace and get us a whole

5:59

bunch of followers and friends.

6:02

He did it for me, in a

6:02

means of 10,000 people.

6:05

He did it for himself, in

6:05

the result of 100,000 people.

6:10

Holy cow.

6:11

Yeah. Then one day I decided,

6:12

yeah, I'm not going

6:14

to do that anymore. And I moved on

6:15

from the rap game. And now I am just a

6:17

marketing professional who

6:20

professionally markets.

6:21

You're a marketing monkey.

6:23

Yeah, I'm all over

6:23

swinging from every tree,

6:26

trying to get that banana.

6:28

How is the banana getting business? Appealing?

6:32

No, I didn't say that. It is definitely not appealing,

6:33

but you know, I'm getting,

6:36

I'm getting after mine,

6:36

getting my bananas in my bag.

6:40

You know, as they say.

6:42

As who says?

6:43

The kids.

6:45

I wouldn't know.

6:46

They, the kids say the darndest things. That's right.

6:48

Because you're a

6:48

childfree Latina.

6:51

So I asked a

6:51

question while I was a bit

6:54

inebriated on Instagram the

6:54

night before we recorded this.

6:58

As you should be.

6:59

I was like,

6:59

look, I'm interviewing

7:01

my brother tomorrow. If you have any questions

7:04

for someone who has a

7:07

childfree sibling, ask away.

7:09

And then I shared a little

7:09

story of how I did ask our

7:13

older brother, Dale, who

7:13

just recently turned 57.

7:18

When he came to visit me in

7:18

Puerto Rico, I asked him,

7:21

what's it like for you to have

7:21

a sister who doesn't want kids?

7:24

And he's like, it sucks. I just, I just laughed.

7:29

I laughed because

7:29

it was unexpected.

7:32

I really didn't expect

7:32

him to say that.

7:34

I didn't realize he felt

7:34

like that, and the reason

7:37

Are you sure he wasn't inebriated?

7:39

He was not at the time.

7:40

Okay.

7:41

But he said, it

7:41

sucks because I would want to

7:44

share this parenting journey

7:44

with you, which I understand.

7:48

It's kind of a misery loves

7:48

company kind of thing maybe, but

7:51

also, you know, it's a big deal. It is a big deal to

7:53

raise other humans.

7:56

I get that. I have watched you both raise

7:57

humans and it's been fun

8:02

being the auntie on the side.

8:05

The titi that they come

8:05

to when they want to talk

8:07

shit about their parents.

8:09

Mm hmm.

8:09

I am always honored

8:09

to be the one that they

8:12

talk shit to about you. So that's great.

8:17

Yeah, that sounds wonderful.

8:19

It's all the fun and

8:19

none of the responsibility.

8:21

Absolutely.

8:21

I mean, whenever

8:21

I take your kids and hang

8:24

out with them, I bring

8:24

them back in one piece.

8:26

That's true. And I appreciate that.

8:29

It's less cleanup for me.

8:31

I mean, they might be a little sugared up.

8:33

Little bit. That's okay. I mean, I don't, I don't

8:35

send a menu with them

8:38

when I send them to you. So I guess it's reasonable

8:39

that you're like, Hey, what

8:42

do you feed these things? Sugar? All right.

8:45

Give it to them.

8:46

I like that your kids

8:46

like a bunch of different foods.

8:49

Like they're not super picky eaters and I don't know if they ever were.

8:52

But like Dale's kids, who are

8:52

significantly older than your

8:56

children, because your brother

8:56

is significantly older than

8:58

you, they were slightly pickier. The first time I took

9:00

the eldest, Gabi, who is

9:02

the only girl, out for

9:02

sushi, she was like ew.

9:06

Well, what did we go eat last

9:06

time we went out to dinner?

9:09

Sushi.

9:09

Of course. My kids, unfortunately,

9:11

you know, while they're not

9:13

necessarily picky eaters,

9:13

they do have palates that

9:18

are considered bougie.

9:20

Mm hmm. Oh, yeah.

9:22

Like, for example,

9:22

we'll, we'll go out to

9:24

dinner and we'll go to,

9:24

like, pick any restaurant.

9:27

Dad gets the chicken strips,

9:27

the french fries, make

9:32

sure I got some ranch. I'm all for it.

9:35

The other two, my children,

9:35

get glazed salmon with a

9:40

side of vegetables and make

9:40

sure, make sure the salmon

9:45

is well prepared because if

9:45

it's not, I will send it back.

9:50

That's them. I don't know where

9:51

they're learning this, but it's frustrating.

9:53

You're lucky you're childfree.

9:55

I know. Thank you.

9:56

You're welcome.

9:57

Tangent,

9:57

Erik rocks an accent.

9:59

He is extremely talented

9:59

at accents, so this

10:03

is going to be fun.

10:04

This will be very entertaining for the Latino audience, sí.

10:08

Coming back to your kids bougie tastes.

10:12

See, French, I

10:12

know French too, bougie.

10:15

Is that French? I don't even know.

10:17

Yeah.

10:18

Okay.

10:18

Comes from the, the bourgeoisie.

10:21

Wow, wow, listen, I

10:21

don't speak that much French.

10:24

Slow your roll there.

10:26

How much Spanish do you speak, Erik?

10:28

El queso está

10:28

viejo y podrido.

10:31

Dónde está el sanitario? Solo para ti.

10:35

Oh, el sanitario.

10:36

El sanitario. Olé. That's the extent of

10:39

my Spanish right there.

10:42

All right, Brasstacks,

10:42

what is it like for you to have

10:46

a sibling who doesn't want kids?

10:50

Honestly, I never think about it. Like, that's why I made

10:53

that face when you said

10:56

our older brother was

10:56

like, this fucking sucks.

10:59

Why? How is this affecting your life?

11:01

Like, come on, man. Listen, this is my

11:04

opinion, obviously.

11:07

We are under no obligation

11:07

to adhere to the societal

11:12

or cultural norms imposed on

11:12

us by previous generations.

11:16

This is not something I

11:16

ever believe, and that goes

11:19

across a bunch of things. That's, you know, friends,

11:20

relationships, work,

11:24

the American grind is

11:24

something that I think is

11:27

marketing well-executed. That's all.

11:30

So for people to have

11:30

this opinion that, Oh,

11:34

you have to have children

11:34

to procreate and whatnot.

11:38

You know, first of all, mind

11:38

your own freaking business.

11:41

Secondly, why do you

11:41

need me to have children?

11:48

Go make some of your own. Get out of my business.

11:52

And so the fact that you don't

11:52

have kids is not something

11:55

that has ever like bothered me

11:55

or has ever been on my mind.

11:59

I've always respected the

11:59

fact that you didn't want

12:01

kids, you don't want to bring them into this world. Like, people want that

12:03

responsibility, but some

12:07

people don't, and for good

12:07

reason, because it's a lot

12:10

of freaking responsibility. Like, I have, as you said, two

12:11

boys whom I look after every

12:16

day, they're the first thing

12:16

I think about when I wake up,

12:19

they're the last thing I think

12:19

about before I go to sleep,

12:22

I'm always worried about them,

12:22

I'm always concerned about how

12:25

they're doing, and if they're

12:25

making the right decisions,

12:27

or If I've taught them well. That's the other thing, too,

12:29

is that you put a lot of

12:31

pressure on yourself as a

12:31

parent to be a good parent.

12:37

And, you know, humans, they're

12:37

already subjected to all this

12:40

kind of pressure to be people

12:40

and what have you, but parents,

12:43

we always look at ourselves

12:43

as the worst parents and

12:46

always want to do better when

12:46

really we just need to sit

12:50

back, relax, and say you're

12:50

doing the best that you can.

12:53

So, with the fact that

12:53

you don't have kids

12:57

that's all good for you. Like, you get to get up whenever

12:58

you want on the weekend.

13:01

You get to go on vacation

13:01

because you can afford it

13:04

because you're not spending

13:04

$150 in the last minute

13:08

because they needed to do

13:08

some sort of science project

13:11

and they forgot to tell you. And, you know, that none

13:12

of that shit is something

13:15

you have to worry about. So, you're enjoying your life

13:17

in the way that you see fit.

13:20

We all have the natural

13:20

freedom to enjoy life

13:25

the way that we see fit.

13:28

And anybody else who tries

13:28

to step in and says, no, you

13:31

can't live your life that way,

13:31

is honestly full of shit and

13:35

they need to check themselves and stay in their lane. So that's how I feel.

13:40

I appreciate that. That was beautiful.

13:43

You hit so many of my points. It's like you've been

13:45

listening to my podcast.

13:47

I've been listening to

13:47

you your whole life because

13:50

you're my older sister. But you know, I've, I've

13:51

always valued your opinion,

13:54

but you're always somebody

13:54

who I've looked to to say.

13:58

What would my sister think about this? Like, how could she help me

13:59

in this kind of situation?

14:02

Because honestly, I've faced

14:02

things that I didn't know

14:06

how to approach no matter

14:06

how much experience I had.

14:08

But I know my sister has had a

14:08

lot of life experience herself.

14:12

So I've always valued whatever

14:12

kind of opinion or whatever kind

14:15

of feedback you could give me. That if I didn't have that,

14:17

that's what would bother me.

14:21

The fact that you don't have

14:21

kids, good for you, man.

14:24

Go to fricking Greece, if

14:24

you want to go to Greece on

14:26

a Thursday, like have fun. I'll be over here picking up

14:28

a kid from trumpet practice

14:32

and waiting for the other one

14:32

to get off of work because

14:35

he needs a ride because he doesn't have his license yet. Yeah, that's my life.

14:40

And you know what? But at the same time, wouldn't

14:41

trade it for the world.

14:45

I love those two more than life itself.

14:48

They are really, really good kids.

14:50

They are.

14:50

There was something

14:50

that came up in my feed today,

14:55

and it was about a woman

14:55

divorcing her husband because

15:00

they were both childfree. And something happened with

15:02

the sister, like she abandoned

15:05

the children who are young. They're very little.

15:08

The oldest is five, and then

15:08

there's two year old twins.

15:11

There's always twins in these stories. Anyway, so she abandoned her

15:13

kids at the brother's house

15:18

who this woman is married to. And he wants to keep them.

15:22

She's like, we don't have

15:22

the resources for this.

15:25

And she's like, would I be

15:25

the asshole if I divorced

15:28

my husband over this? Because I don't know

15:29

that I can do it.

15:33

And that's tough.

15:35

And Ryan and I had those

15:35

discussions, you know,

15:38

early on when the kids

15:38

were still really little.

15:41

We're like, you know, there's

15:41

a lot of people around your

15:45

nuclear family that would step

15:45

in to help with childcare,

15:49

that would help if something

15:49

happened to either of you.

15:52

And thankfully that has

15:52

not been necessary because

15:55

you're both still here. And now there's a step mom.

15:58

Which is great. You added one more

15:59

parent to the bunch. So it's like the, the

16:01

succession ladder.

16:04

Like we're, we're that much

16:04

further removed from needing

16:07

to ascend to the throne.

16:08

Hopefully succession

16:08

in the positive sense and

16:11

not in the sense of the

16:11

HBO show, because that

16:13

would just be cutthroat.

16:14

Which is an excellent show.

16:16

Highly recommend.

16:17

Also highly

16:17

highlights people who

16:21

should not have children. People who have children.

16:23

Oh yeah.

16:24

To use them

16:24

as pawns in a game.

16:27

Yeah.

16:28

Great, great

16:28

evidence of horrible parenting.

16:33

Yeah. Logan Roy, not winning

16:33

any dad of the year

16:36

trophies anytime soon.

16:38

But anyway, from a

16:38

personal perspective, I think

16:42

that would have been a really,

16:42

really hard thing for us to do.

16:45

But if we had been faced with

16:45

that very real possibility, I

16:50

don't know what we would have done to tell you the truth. I'm only a godparent to one of

16:52

the four niblings I have, which

16:56

are neither of your children, because you didn't even have them baptized, did you?

17:00

I did not, no.

17:01

But I mean, it's

17:01

not about Catholic sacraments.

17:04

It's about making sure

17:04

that those children grow

17:07

up to be fulfilled and not

17:07

traumatized and you know, as,

17:13

as well functioning as one

17:13

can produce for this world.

17:16

And we were on the same page

17:16

that that was the ultimate goal.

17:21

So, whether or not we

17:21

had to do that ourselves

17:24

versus our parents or

17:24

their other grandparents,

17:29

you know, that would have

17:29

been a cross that bridge.

17:32

And I've thought about that too, like, what if something happened to me and,

17:34

you know, somebody needed

17:36

to take care of the boys. I was confident that I had the

17:37

family foundation to where the

17:42

ghost version of me wouldn't

17:42

have to worry about it.

17:45

Just because, like, the

17:45

family has shown Alex and

17:49

Nicholas crazy amounts

17:49

of love and support ever

17:52

since they were born, and

17:52

they'll continue to do that.

17:54

So I'm not, I was never worried

17:54

about that kind of thing, and

17:57

I completely understand that

17:57

you guys would be like, I don't

18:01

know what we would do in that

18:01

situation, because guess what?

18:05

That's a situation that's

18:05

in an instant, and you're

18:09

supposed to make a decision right then and there? That's a whole lot of

18:11

responsibility being an instant

18:14

parent, you know, it's, it takes

18:14

some, it takes some grooming.

18:18

But hey, you know, that's

18:18

never, never a concern for me

18:23

just because like everybody

18:23

I think would step up.

18:26

They say it takes a village,

18:26

we got a whole city worth

18:30

of family foundation and

18:30

that was always the case.

18:35

Yeah. Yeah. I think you guys are

18:36

really lucky that way.

18:38

Yeah.

18:38

Conversely, so

18:38

were we, because our village

18:41

was always supportive of, of

18:41

us not having kids either.

18:44

Yes.

18:45

Which was rad. I, I think part of the reason I

18:46

was so shocked by Dale's comment

18:50

is that he had never, ever

18:50

given me any inclination that

18:56

he thought negatively of that. And again, his reasoning

18:58

made complete sense.

19:02

It made complete sense, and I get it. But he also, it's none

19:05

of his business, and he

19:08

was clear with me that he

19:08

gets that I enjoy my life.

19:13

And he's happy for that. Cause Dale, you know, when

19:15

I was little, Dale was

19:18

who I looked up to in the

19:18

same way that you do me.

19:22

Because before you came

19:22

along, that's, that was

19:25

the only brother I had. I had another question for you.

19:28

What up?

19:29

You can think on this. We'll move on to the

19:30

easier stuff and then we'll come back to it.

19:32

Okay.

19:33

Would you have

19:33

any advice for other people

19:37

who find themselves in your

19:37

situation where they have a

19:40

sibling who doesn't want kids? You like having kids, so, so

19:41

ponder on that for a little

19:45

bit if you have any advice

19:45

for people out there and

19:48

maybe even advice for the

19:48

childfree people who feel

19:51

hounded by their own family.

19:53

I can answer those right now if you want me to.

19:55

Okay. Cool.

19:56

Okay. So, for the childfree people

19:57

who may face some sort of

20:04

pressure or anything from

20:04

people who think they should

20:08

have kids, fuck anybody who

20:08

says you need to have kids.

20:11

First of all, okay, you

20:11

made an adult decision not

20:17

to procreate and that is

20:17

completely within your rights.

20:23

If you are experiencing some

20:23

sort of pressure from family

20:28

or people close to you that

20:28

are pressuring you into this

20:31

kind of thing, It would be

20:31

perfectly within your rights

20:35

and understandable that

20:35

you cut those people off.

20:38

Like, they should not have a

20:38

space to say, you need to do

20:41

this with your body and you

20:41

need to do this with your life.

20:44

They don't have any

20:44

kind of room for that.

20:47

And for the people like myself

20:47

who have kids, And have siblings

20:53

or, or people close to them

20:53

who don't have kids, man,

20:58

babysitters who are adults

20:58

get paid in alcohol, alright?

21:02

I know that I could go to my

21:02

sister and say, Hey, take the

21:06

kids for a weekend and I'll

21:06

buy you a nice bottle of wine.

21:09

My sister would be

21:09

like, absolutely!

21:11

One, she likes having the

21:11

temporary time with the kids.

21:15

She spoils them. As she said, she gives

21:16

them sugar and then they do

21:19

other things

21:20

and other things. She, she actually does

21:21

feed them regular food

21:23

just for the audience. They know. But at the same time, she

21:25

gets her fill of fun time

21:29

with two children who

21:29

she loves dearly and she

21:32

has a good time doing it. And then when it's

21:33

all said and done, she

21:36

gets to give them back! You're done!

21:39

And I take them in,

21:39

probably hungover.

21:42

That's all good.

21:44

You're hungover.

21:45

Yes, I'm hungover.

21:46

To be clear, they are not hungover.

21:47

I mean, they're

21:47

probably hungover from sugar.

21:49

You're hungover from having

21:49

to take care of children.

21:52

I'm hungover from enjoying

21:52

my time without children.

21:57

So everybody's

21:57

temporarily childfree

21:59

temporarily childfree. Yeah. And listen, if you, if you're a

22:01

parent who has childfree friends

22:05

and family, like those people,

22:05

if they truly love you and

22:09

they love your children, they

22:09

will absolutely help you out.

22:12

And look after your kids

22:12

when you're not able to,

22:15

or when you need a break,

22:15

because parents need a break.

22:18

Like, we can't be

22:18

24/7 all the time.

22:21

We need to separate ourselves

22:21

and have our own time, be

22:25

grown ups, maybe have a

22:25

day or a night without any,

22:28

like, major responsibility. It's totally

22:30

reasonable and human. So the childfree sector, just

22:33

because they're childfree

22:38

doesn't mean they hate children. I mean, some, some of y'all do.

22:40

I mean, I get it, but, but

22:40

not, but especially family

22:47

and friends who love you and your kids, they're going to help you out and they're

22:49

going to watch the kids. And I don't think any, anybody

22:51

would have a problem with that.

22:54

So take advantage

22:54

of it while you can.

22:57

I'm going to jump in

22:57

here real quick, cause I want to

22:59

be really clear that my brother

22:59

is talking about childfree

23:03

people from his experience.

23:06

I know that not all childfree

23:06

people do like kids and not

23:10

all of them do want to help

23:10

out with their niblings, you

23:13

know, their nieces and nephews. I am not one of those people.

23:17

I do like the kids I'm related

23:17

to, and it's been fun watching

23:21

them grow up to become the

23:21

people that they're becoming.

23:24

But that's not necessarily

23:24

true for everyone.

23:27

So while Erik's experience with

23:27

those of us who are childfree

23:31

is that the non-parents

23:31

his village are willing to

23:34

help out, that might not

23:34

be true for other parents.

23:37

So, for those parents listening,

23:37

you are not entitled to

23:42

your childfree brother's

23:42

or sister's free time just

23:45

because they don't have kids. And the truth is, I don't think

23:47

either of my brothers ever

23:50

asked me to babysit their kids. I was always the one asking them

23:52

if I could hang out with them.

23:54

Because I'm invested in

23:54

those kids having diverse

23:58

influences around them,

23:58

including a childfree aunt

24:01

and uncle who can model what

24:01

a happy, healthy marriage

24:04

looks like without kids. And also what a childfree life

24:05

can look like for them if they

24:09

choose to go down that path too. Plus, they're really good kids,

24:11

but that's a direct result of

24:15

their parenting, which is the

24:15

best any of us can hope for.

24:20

And again, that's my experience.

24:23

It's not like I was out there really changing their diapers every day,

24:24

I mean, maybe one or two.

24:27

But when we're around,

24:27

that's usually adult time,

24:30

especially when the kids were

24:30

really little and the kids

24:32

were taught to respect that. Now that they're a little older

24:35

and they range in ages from 10

24:37

to 22, it's a lot different. In fact, my 16 year old nephew

24:40

just sent me a text today about

24:43

Puerto Rican Pokemon and that

24:43

shit is hilarious and I love it.

24:48

So if you're listening to this

24:48

and thinking, fuck no, I don't

24:51

want my siblings thinking I'm

24:51

free babysitting, that's fine.

24:55

Just say so. Know your boundaries

24:57

and make them clear.

25:00

This doesn't have to

25:00

be rude or obnoxious.

25:04

My brothers and I have always

25:04

been very clear about our

25:06

boundaries with each other

25:06

and you should be clear

25:09

about yours with yours. Maybe when you're around,

25:11

it is also adult time.

25:14

You're the one helping

25:14

your sibling have the adult

25:17

conversations, especially

25:17

when they're sick and

25:20

tired of hearing Baby Shark

25:20

or whatever on repeat.

25:23

Because, like he said,

25:23

parents need breaks too, yeah.

25:27

Anyway, I'm about to respond

25:27

to his comments here,

25:29

but I wanted to make that

25:29

super clear for all y'all.

25:32

I'm also going to refer

25:32

to an article that blew up

25:34

about a woman having to pay

25:34

for her friends', multiple

25:37

friends', babysitter. I made a reel about it

25:38

that had a over 70,000

25:42

views and 4000 comments

25:42

before I just cut them off.

25:45

Cause, ugh! But I'll link both the article

25:46

and the reel in the show notes.

25:51

Especially if it's not

25:51

an expectation, but

25:53

like an ask, you know? And our relationship was

25:55

always such that we didn't

25:59

feel weird asking one

25:59

another for favors like that.

26:02

We were open with one another,

26:02

like I need to borrow money or

26:05

you need me to take the kids or,

26:05

you know, something like that.

26:08

We're family. And I know not everybody has

26:09

family like that, so, you know,

26:12

what Erik and I have might be

26:12

a little bit more unique, but

26:16

speaking to the larger issue

26:16

that just because someone

26:20

doesn't have children, doesn't

26:20

want children, is childfree,

26:24

it doesn't mean they hate

26:24

kids, so that was spot on.

26:27

And it doesn't mean that they don't want to spend time with your kids.

26:30

I mean, sometimes they do want

26:30

adult time with mom and dad

26:32

because you're right, mom and

26:32

dad deserve breaks and they

26:35

should go have adult time.

26:36

Damn right.

26:38

But sometimes

26:38

they can be part of

26:42

giving you that break. Sure. As long as it was

26:44

a news article. That's what it was that

26:46

came from a Reddit post.

26:48

This woman was expected to cover

26:48

the babysitting for all her and

26:52

four friends to go out this one

26:52

night because she was picking

26:56

up the bill for everyone. They like would rotate

26:57

who paid that night. So obviously they were

26:59

all pretty well off that

27:02

they could afford to treat

27:02

five people, four or five

27:05

people, however many it was. But all these people

27:07

with kids were married.

27:11

What I found interesting was

27:11

the misogyny here, not the

27:15

fact that they felt entitled to

27:15

her money to pay for her kids.

27:19

That was secondary to the

27:19

fact that the husbands all

27:22

went out and paid for whatever

27:22

they did, but did they ask

27:27

any of their friends to kick

27:27

in money for the babysitter?

27:31

Or was it just this lady? Because the moms are

27:32

responsible for the babysitter.

27:35

And that's another

27:35

thing too, speaking on

27:37

the whole parenting thing. Like there is this idea that

27:39

women have their role and men

27:43

have their role and that Is

27:43

something that's also bullshit.

27:47

I get that women can

27:47

breastfeed and I can't

27:50

like, that's, that's fine. But it shouldn't be the

27:52

woman's responsibility to

27:54

take care of the babysitting

27:54

because she's the woman.

27:57

Just like it shouldn't be the

27:57

man's responsibility to earn

28:00

the money because he's the man. If you, if you guys are both

28:03

making money, like, hell,

28:06

you could afford the trip

28:06

to Greece, and then you

28:08

could afford the babysitter. Like, you'll, you'll get them,

28:10

like, ten bottles of wine,

28:14

Paulette, everybody wins! But these social norms

28:16

that everybody tries to,

28:19

like, jam down your throat,

28:19

those are all myths.

28:22

Like, there's nothing true and

28:22

solid about it, and the people

28:25

that buy into them, uh, they're

28:25

just lost, they're ignorant, and

28:29

they don't, they don't get it. Like, life happens at a rate,

28:30

at a pace that, isn't dictated

28:36

by the way it's always been. It's dictated based off of

28:37

what your situation is and

28:42

what's best for everyone. That's how it is.

28:45

So I just wanted to

28:45

throw that out there.

28:48

I appreciate that, sir.

28:50

Absolutely.

28:50

I love you.

28:51

I love you too. Te amo mucho en Español.

29:00

You crack me up.

29:01

I try.

29:02

So, like I was saying

29:02

earlier, there were questions

29:05

that were asked when I made

29:05

my little inebriated story.

29:09

One was by your niece

29:09

asking, did you ask Dale why?

29:14

So that question was not for you. The other one was by

29:16

your one brother in law,

29:19

the only one you have. And he asked, Batman

29:20

versus Jaws, who wins?

29:25

This has nothing to do

29:25

with being childfree!

29:28

Well

29:29

Wait, Batman is childfree.

29:32

No, he's not. He's not.

29:34

Isn't he?

29:34

No. Damian Wayne is Batman's

29:35

biological son and he is the

29:39

eventual successor to Robin. So yeah, he is not childfree.

29:44

When, when did that happen? And who's his mom?

29:47

Catwoman.

29:48

Is it Batgirl? Catwoman?

29:49

Yeah.

29:49

Is he part

29:49

cat and part bat?

29:52

Yes. He flies and coughs

29:52

on hairballs.

29:55

Meow. But no. Batman vs.

29:58

Jaws? I mean, this is a very

29:59

important question that I

30:02

think warrants an answer

30:02

and thorough explanation.

30:06

See, I think the thing that

30:06

you have to analyze here is

30:10

the fact that there is already

30:10

precedent that Batman is capable

30:14

of defeating sharks of any kind.

30:16

Even the ones

30:16

with lasers on their head?

30:19

Freakin laser beams, yes!

30:21

No, the we have precedent in

30:21

the 1960s Batman movie with

30:27

Adam West, where he was after

30:27

the villains, you know, Joker,

30:32

Penguin, Riddler, all them. They were in a submarine.

30:35

And so, Batman and Robin are

30:35

on the Bat copter, and they're

30:38

on a ladder, and they're coming

30:38

down towards a submarine.

30:42

Helicopter goes too low! Batman dips into the

30:43

water, he comes out of the water, what do you know,

30:45

there's a shark on his leg!

30:48

And he's hitting the

30:48

shark with his bat gloves,

30:52

and he can't get it off! So what does he do?

30:55

He reaches into his handy

30:55

dandy utility belt, gets the

30:59

bat shark repellent spray

30:59

that he just happened to

31:02

have that day, And he sprays.

31:06

He sprays the shark that is

31:06

biting his leg, and guess what?

31:10

The shark lets go, falls

31:10

into the ocean, and explodes.

31:18

So when you

31:19

All from a can of spray.

31:20

All from a can

31:20

of aerosol spray.

31:22

I don't know exactly what

31:22

was in it, but highly

31:24

flammable, clearly.

31:25

Something potent.

31:26

Yes. So, it's clear, that if

31:28

Batman were to go up against

31:32

Jaws, which is a 23 foot

31:32

great white shark, Jaws would

31:36

easily be defeated by Batman

31:36

and his utility belt and

31:40

his explosive aerosol cans.

31:43

The end.

31:44

Let me pause for one

31:44

moment and, and ask the person

31:48

who gave us this question

31:48

if he knew any of that.

31:52

Okay.

31:54

Hey, Ryan, did you

31:54

know that there was a Batman

31:58

versus Shark scene in a movie?

32:02

He did not know about that.

32:04

I am an encyclopedia

32:04

of Batman things.

32:07

Not surprised he doesn't know it.

32:08

And shark things.

32:09

And shark things. If you guys ever need any

32:10

information, like if you ever

32:13

want to start a podcast about

32:13

Batman and Sharks, I'd be happy

32:16

to guest as a resident expert.

32:20

Why didn't you start a

32:20

podcast about Batman and sharks?

32:24

Because as much as I

32:24

love Batman and sharks, I love

32:26

sports and pop culture more.

32:28

You need to add

32:28

it into the mix though.

32:31

I probably will. I'll probably have a, I'll

32:32

have a debate with somebody

32:35

who vehemently disagrees

32:35

with Batman beating a shark

32:39

and we'll go on like a two

32:39

and a half hour argument.

32:43

You'll also be fueled by whiskey probably because you drink whiskey

32:45

on your podcast, right?

32:47

I drink scotch.

32:49

Oh, excuse me. It is the Scottish

32:51

version of whiskey.

32:53

Yes, I know that,

32:53

but I like, I love scotch.

32:56

There it goes down,

32:56

down into my belly.

33:00

One of my favorite

33:00

things was you as Ron Burgundy

33:04

talking about MMA on Twitter. How long did you do that?

33:07

It was just for one weekend.

33:09

Really?

33:10

Well, I, I eventually

33:10

started it up again, but the

33:13

reason I started it was because

33:13

there was a UFC fight happening

33:17

in San Diego, and I was a

33:17

credentialed member of the

33:19

press covering that fight card. So, I took my Twitter

33:22

account, temporarily changed

33:25

it to Ron Burgundy MMA, and

33:25

started tweeting like Ron

33:29

Burgundy was covering the

33:29

UFC fights in San Diego.

33:33

That caught wind. It blew up.

33:35

I ended up getting thousands

33:35

of followers on Twitter,

33:38

which, you know, is hard to

33:38

do nowadays because it's X.

33:42

But yeah, it was, it was a

33:42

moment and I tried starting

33:45

it up again, but little avail.

33:47

I thought you had a whole separate account.

33:49

Eventually I did.

33:51

Are you still

33:51

on Twitter, x, whatever?

33:53

I am, but as,

33:53

uh, For Meme Not You.

33:56

Oh, so you just share me-mes?

33:58

Share me-mes. I share me-mes.

34:00

Can I tell that story?

34:01

Absolutely.

34:02

I'm gonna save this

34:02

for the Substack subscribers.

34:05

This is gonna go to them. This is not gonna

34:06

be published, but

34:08

Okay.

34:09

The night I met Ryan. If you want to hear the rest

34:10

of that story get on Substack!

34:13

I'll release that video and

34:13

the audio to the subscribers

34:16

next week, which includes

34:16

the origin story of Erik

34:18

becoming a meme making machine.

34:21

Plus, you'll get all kinds

34:21

of other bonus content

34:24

and the opportunity to

34:24

vote on future episodes.

34:26

So jump on Substack! It's free! All right, dude, thank you so

34:29

much for sharing your wisdom,

34:33

your thoughts on this topic. I appreciate that you are

34:35

an ally to childfree people.

34:39

Hey, before we wrap up, tell

34:39

us about Staches & Glasses,

34:42

or is it Glasses and Stashes?

34:44

It is Staches & Glasses. It's a podcast, the

34:46

Staches & Glasses podcast.

34:49

It's me bringing on guests

34:49

to discuss sports, pop

34:54

culture, or whatever

34:54

else tickles the pickle.

34:56

You could follow ForMemeNotYou,

34:56

not ForMe-meNotYou, but

35:01

ForMemeNotYou on all

35:01

social channels, that's

35:04

where Staches & Glasses

35:04

mainly is advertised from.

35:08

We're also on YouTube under

35:08

ForMemeNotYou, and we're soon

35:10

going to have some emails go

35:10

out for some email marketing,

35:14

so look out for that stuff. And if you're listening to

35:16

La Vida Más Chévere, thank

35:20

you for supporting my sister,

35:20

she is a wonderful person.

35:24

And I'm very happy that

35:24

she's doing this kind of

35:26

thing, putting herself out

35:26

there, doing the things

35:29

that she's passionate about. Cause if you're not pursuing

35:30

your passions, what are you

35:33

even doing with yourself?

35:35

So if you ever hear an

35:35

ad for Staches & Glasses on this

35:39

program, which you might have

35:39

at the beginning of this one,

35:43

if we get our shit together and

35:43

record our respective promos.

35:48

I don't know. Have my people call your people.

35:54

Remember when we could rely on our spouses to do some of the shit?

35:58

Yeah, that was always

35:58

in question until recently.

36:02

2017, Beerocrats,

36:02

we did it for one year.

36:05

We did it for one whole year. Yeah, 12 and a half.

36:09

We drank a lot of beer.

36:10

12 and a half views. Yeah, Sundays at my house were

36:14

Pretty awesome. This is how I knew that your

36:15

kids were different because

36:18

we'd be over for hours and

36:18

they'd be quiet the whole

36:22

freaking time we were recording. They were really respectful

36:24

of the fact that like we were

36:27

trying to do something and

36:27

mommy and daddy were busy.

36:30

And you guys raised

36:30

those kids so well.

36:34

Thank you.

36:34

Good job.

36:35

Thank you.

36:36

Good job.

36:37

Thank you.

36:37

I am invested in this.

36:39

You are literally

36:39

you buy them things.

36:41

It's an investment on the return of happiness.

36:45

So, when Nico turned

36:45

ten, I bought him Nintendo

36:47

stock because we are creating

36:47

generational wealth here.

36:51

You know what he said this morning? I dropped him off at school this

36:52

morning and, you know, there's

36:55

a line of cars behind me and,

36:55

like, there's angry parents

36:58

and they're all in a rush and I

36:58

gotta move and this kid's, like,

37:01

taking his sweet time getting

37:01

out the car and he's just, Hey,

37:04

dad, can we talk about investing

37:04

my allowance in Nintendo stock?

37:08

Cause I have some ideas that

37:08

I want to, I'm like, get

37:11

the fuck out of the car.

37:13

I gotta go. But we'll talk about it later.

37:16

Yes.

37:17

And absolutely. Yes.

37:19

Yes.

37:20

He should branch out, maybe diversify.

37:22

Diversify his funds.

37:23

Outside of Nintendo.

37:24

His portfolio.

37:25

Look, but I

37:25

love that he's 10 and

37:27

he's in the stock market. It's an amazing thing.

37:30

Well, dude, it's time to say goodbye.

37:32

Okay. There it is. It's time to say goodbye.

37:37

La vida más chévere. That's a burrito!

37:40

Do you got

37:40

something to say about

37:43

this week's episode? DM me on Instagram,

37:44

at pauletteerato. And if you'd like to be a

37:47

guest on La Vida Más Chévere,

37:50

check out the guest form on

37:50

my website, at pauletteerato.

37:53

com. All of these links are in the show notes. While you're at it,

37:56

can I ask you a favor? I'd really appreciate your

37:58

helping spread awareness

38:01

about the podcast. So could you please share

38:01

it on your socials or

38:04

even send it to a friend? New episodes come out

38:06

every other Tuesday.

38:08

You can enjoy them

38:08

with tacos or burritos.

38:11

Muchísimas gracias for

38:11

your support y hasta la

38:14

próxima vez, cuídate bien.