0:01

Look mad oh, I see you?

0:03

Why why? And look over there?

0:05

How is that? Culture? Yes? Goodness

0:11

lost? Culture is just calling. I

0:14

love the variation on the sort of the

0:16

cadence, the melody, you know, keep

0:18

the fresh. Talking is music talking

0:20

his music, and that's a role of culture. Number forty

0:23

six. Talking is music.

0:26

Who is the most musical speaking voice you've ever heard?

0:29

I would say I reject

0:31

the premise of that question, because this is some thing. Everyone

0:34

is a singer when they're talking. I

0:37

believe that everyone can learn to sing.

0:39

I think that's so beautiful. You know, you

0:42

might need a higher expensive singing coach, but

0:44

you know, if you work hard enough at your job, you could

0:46

say that and do it as an extracurricular Sure,

0:48

sure, you know. I think singing is just bravery,

0:51

is just going for it. And um,

0:53

I mean I say this as someone who knows nothing

0:55

about singing, but I feel like that's not true at all.

0:58

If you just are delusional enough to to

1:00

think that you can do it, you can do

1:02

it. I literally agree, And I

1:04

just want to backtrack and say that Bowen is one

1:06

of the most resonant counter tenors

1:09

of our time. Adam Lambert was found

1:11

dead was

1:13

found dead. Sorry, but it

1:15

was literally true. At one point the two front

1:17

people of Queen You're gonna compare me

1:19

to them. I'm coming for the counter today.

1:23

I'm declaring them in the

1:25

presence of Bowen Yang, one of the

1:27

most resonant listen to my words, most

1:29

resonant counter tenors of our time. Put it on a

1:32

T shirt and very much I Meanwhile,

1:34

Matt Rodgers can't hold a damn tune.

1:36

I don't like that. That was just kidding. I'm

1:39

kidding. He's one of the best singers of all time,

1:41

one of the best vehicles. I'm off marijuana for the

1:43

next month and a half. You're really going to commit

1:45

that hard to this? I appla.

1:49

Look, Matt Rodgers is touring

1:51

with his famous yearly show Have you

1:53

heard of Christmas? Please check it out.

1:55

We cannot recommend to it's

1:59

sold out. Please you can't

2:01

come. As they say, as they say every

2:03

Tuesday, and especially in voter suppress

2:05

states, stay in line, stay, stay in

2:07

line. It's actually number

2:10

fifty. Stay line,

2:13

okay, um. I will say that this episode

2:15

is coming out on Wednesday, and so

2:17

tonight it is November ten, and you can come see

2:19

me and Greta Titlement for the New York Comedy Festival. We

2:22

have a show at seven thirty and also ten

2:24

pm. Stay in line.

2:27

How you doing? I have a asked you a question,

2:29

that question as a way of telling, as a way of

2:31

gracelessly seguing into how I'm doing,

2:33

which is not well. I'm working with the sty. I have

2:36

a sty coming in. Don't Oh

2:38

no, I got I put rice in a sock.

2:40

I'm putting in the microwave for twenty seconds. I'm

2:42

putting. I'm doing a hot sort of compress

2:44

kind of thing. I hope that works. I'm

2:46

just gonna tell you, I threw up last night. What's

2:49

going on? So? I went to Palm Springs

2:51

Pride and sort of did that. Is Palm

2:53

Springs Pride in November. It

2:55

is famously they do Pride a couple of

2:57

countries a couple of months later. Anyways,

3:00

a few, yeah, several What

3:02

was it? What was the experience? Like, um,

3:05

really good until it was really bad. I was having

3:07

a really good time and I sort of, as you say,

3:09

went too hard and threw up like I was seventeen,

3:12

damn because of partying too much. But I

3:14

did sort of start a new era that beat

3:16

in necklace eram I'm in my necklace era? Now

3:19

I love it. I think this is a long time coming.

3:21

You actually have avoided jewelry. You are very

3:25

accessory phobic, and that's

3:28

bigoted of you. Yeah, well

3:30

I don't like them, and but now you do.

3:33

I'm a bigot against them until now. And it's sort

3:36

of it takes different people different paces,

3:38

you know what I mean? Right now? In my necklace are this

3:40

is actually Tony Gomez his necklace that I stole. He's

3:42

not gonna like that. I'm at how much I'm going to wear

3:44

it over the next week. I told him I would keep it

3:46

safe, but I left the party we were at last night early

3:49

to go throw up. So I ended

3:51

up sort of being like, can I wear that? And he was like

3:53

yes, And now I still have it on and I will continue

3:55

to wear it until I get back to him, which I will. That's

3:58

nice and I like that you are of making

4:00

it time bound and saying only a week myself

4:03

accountable, speaking of singing,

4:06

just to sort of make this one of the most chaotic intros

4:08

to any podcast ever, to sort of return to the

4:10

front it could you imagine

4:13

Cynthia Arrivo and Ariana

4:16

we talked about this. We haven't spoken about

4:18

it until now, and no gays have until now,

4:20

No gays have until now. I mean what's remarkable

4:23

is everyone's happy. That's what's

4:25

remarkable about it. Like when does

4:27

this ever happen anymore? That people are

4:29

like, yes, they got it right. I

4:31

mean. Casting has certainly been controversial

4:34

this year and on many different projects,

4:36

many different projects, but not the Wicked movie,

4:39

not Cynthia Arriva and Ariana Days

4:41

couldn't and also the stakes couldn't be hired.

4:43

Do you know what I'm saying? No, Because, as we famously

4:46

know, it's one of the most famous rules of culture playing

4:48

alphabet is war.

4:51

But we've made her the general.

4:54

She has been the named general of

4:57

the Battle of Wicked, and she will

4:59

go into back oh sometime

5:02

next year. Yeah, she's going into battle

5:04

this London, this this summer in London,

5:07

and she will emerge victorious.

5:09

Okay, yeah, and Ariana Grande

5:11

sort of the lieutenant. This is how

5:14

I'm assuming war's work is general and

5:16

lieutenant, General and lieutenant. I don't

5:18

know how that sort of order breaks down,

5:20

but no one does. I have nothing

5:22

to add to the conversation except I'm thrilled.

5:24

Here's what I would say, Thank

5:28

you, great job casting, great

5:30

job casting. We'll see you there. Uh

5:33

there is. I think the director is

5:35

also a perfect sort

5:37

of Mr mr Chu Mr

5:40

to Mr m ch Um. Can't

5:42

wait for his his take on it. I

5:44

mean, and we're available to just

5:47

saying we're available. I mean one of us

5:49

might be. I think we've

5:51

got a fiarra, we've got a box here, That's

5:54

all we're saying. And if they sort of want,

5:56

if they want to see tapes, if they want

5:58

to see tapes, it's um. But you know who

6:00

I would cast, Oh my god, see our

6:02

guests this week would

6:04

really work in any roles,

6:07

or the female roles, the animal roles, the

6:09

genderless roles, whatever. I think. Morrible,

6:12

he'd be a great Morrible, would be a great dilmante

6:16

You said it, speak

6:18

it out loud, We'll speak it out loud. Um.

6:20

Our guest is really just pretty

6:22

phenomenal. I alluded

6:25

to him earlier when he came on

6:27

the Zoom that I've been a

6:29

close follower for a long

6:31

time and I would like to tell him

6:33

in person very soon, so let's just bring him in. It

6:35

was a perfect allusion. It was a perfect

6:38

illusion. Uh.

6:40

He is such a wonder stunning,

6:43

stunning. Um. He was the adorable p A

6:45

on The Lately Show with Craig Ferguson. He was writing

6:47

he Kime Alive. He has written for

6:49

Black Monday on Breakable Kimmy Schmidt. Now

6:52

he hosts the Wonderful podcast I said

6:54

no gifts. I love saying that, I

6:56

said no gifts. It can

6:58

be sweet, it can be it can be genuine,

7:00

it couldn't be just something you say. Uh.

7:03

Perfect, A perfect sort of sound

7:06

bite for anybody. Good title,

7:08

good title, great title. Um. He tries

7:10

to destroy his guests every

7:12

episode, and they always undermine him by bringing

7:15

a gift and they always end up talking about

7:17

what's under the wrapping. He's

7:20

so funny, so wonderful. Um,

7:22

it's sort of I think unfortunately, I feel like

7:24

he is now the ambassador to Salt

7:27

Lake City for some people, which I

7:29

I wish I could turn the computer around. I just

7:31

can't. Um. But frozen up there

7:33

is Miriam Cosby um with

7:35

her eyes wide open, screaming at Whitney,

7:38

who she now has a problem with. I'm

7:40

very excited to sort of get into it with the guests.

7:42

Me too, me too, But anyway, um, we're so

7:44

so thrilled to have him. Everyone please

7:47

welcome rich What

7:50

okay? You

7:54

too? God bless, God

7:56

bless. I had dinner at four thirty.

8:00

I had a full dinner at four thirty

8:02

pm? How was it? Where? So?

8:05

How do you feel safe that you can Salid?

8:07

I had to It's a look.

8:10

I knew we were going to be recording. I have

8:12

a gym appointment at eight pm.

8:15

After this recording, I would throw up. This

8:18

is the scheduling that's just

8:21

dominating my life. Now, Wow, a

8:23

full dinner for thirty I will say

8:25

this. I was recently with my parents on vacation

8:28

and they have dinner at four thirty. So this is very

8:30

parental of you. This is very full grown adults

8:32

dinner at four thirty. This is Thanksgiving

8:35

time. This is I mean, I'm saying the timing

8:37

is very Thanksgiving. It's like, wait, you're we're eating?

8:39

Okay? I guess we're eating at three because

8:42

they's been in the oven for eight hours. You

8:44

know, everyone will be hungry at two, and

8:46

everyone will be hungry at seven thirty. Yes,

8:49

yes, yes, Well we're so

8:51

sorry that you had to sort of shift

8:53

your schedule. This is my life now.

8:56

My gym is only open on Monday, Wednesday,

8:58

Friday, so it's just an issue

9:00

for me every Monday. Butcher,

9:03

describe your lifestyle. What's the typical Monday.

9:06

Let's just stick to Monday's for

9:08

you if you weren't recording a podcast. But would that look

9:10

like if I were recording a podcast,

9:13

I would you know? I

9:15

get up, well, we are in Daylight

9:17

Savings, you know the sudo of

9:20

daylight Savings ending or beginning?

9:22

I don't know. I'll wake up

9:24

it around seven, kind of get out

9:26

of bed. I make some coffee,

9:30

I do a little reading. I eat my protein

9:32

bar, which is does not register as

9:34

a flavor in my mouth anymore because

9:37

it's said the same thing. It's absolutely

9:39

something to chew and swallow. Then

9:41

I'll go to work. We start at ten o'clock.

9:44

We go till noon. We

9:47

have a lunch break. What

9:49

do you eat then? Then Monday,

9:52

I'm eating a protein shake. The first

9:55

like nine day are horrible.

9:58

Stop right now, stop the pops. Are

10:00

you trying to sound like an ideal? Because

10:02

I think I think you've come on this podcast

10:05

so that you could say what your Monday routine.

10:08

So you can sound like an ideal because you've

10:10

said not, You've not missed one step

10:12

so far. It's a lot of protein and health

10:14

and waking up early and reading and at

10:17

eight. None of this is by choice.

10:20

Look pre Zoom

10:22

writer's rooms, I was, you know, we would

10:24

have lunch at work, munches

10:27

being purchased for me. I didn't have to think about that element.

10:29

Now I have defend for myself, which

10:31

I know most of America's screaming,

10:35

yeah they are. But a nice

10:37

little thing about being in

10:39

a writer's room is occasionally you get

10:42

a mediocre sandwich for lunch. Occasion.

10:45

Now I can't think about it, so I'm

10:47

making a protein shake.

10:49

Sure, this is the thing that

10:51

is very astute. I feel like this

10:54

is just transferring from pre

10:56

COVID, where you were not making decisions

10:58

necessarily about where you were eating for lunch. That

11:01

was sort of being made for you on some level.

11:03

You would choose the particular

11:05

kind of sandwich you would get. Right now

11:07

that you're you know, doing writers from from

11:10

writers from from home, you've maintained

11:12

that decision fatigue and you're just like, I don't want to think

11:14

about it, and therefore I'm just gonna make

11:16

the same protein shake. I also can't cook. I'm

11:19

not going to go to a restaurant during

11:21

the Yeah, I'm

11:26

stumbling into my kitchen. I'm making

11:28

the protein shake. I'm out of bananas at this point,

11:30

so it's even worse than usual. Shit.

11:33

Uh, and I'm I'm eating it. It's fine.

11:35

I can't make a decision. Someone canceled on brunch

11:38

brunch on me yesterday. It was two

11:40

hours of me trying to decide what to do with the

11:42

rest of my day vacuum. Yeah,

11:45

well, at least it was something useful. Can I

11:47

ask you a question? So, basically, if

11:50

you're in a group of people, whether it's at work or whatever,

11:52

and there's that moment wherever where someone or

11:54

someone says they sort of throw their head

11:56

over their one shoulder and they go, so what should we have for lunch?

11:59

Are you someone who weighs in or

12:01

are you someone who's like, I'm going with the

12:03

flow of what everyone wants. And by

12:06

that same token, would you ever

12:08

be the one person who says, hey,

12:10

guys, sorry, I know everyone wants

12:12

this, but I don't. What role do

12:15

you play in a lunch just He hasn't

12:17

had to be in this position. I know, but

12:19

I'm just asking in terms of who you are as an

12:21

individual, because we want to get to know you. That's

12:23

why people listen to the podcast

12:27

Fair Question. And I am someone who will

12:29

go along with almost anything.

12:31

I will eat garbage.

12:33

But it was actually at Black Monday.

12:36

There were two restaurants. I think one

12:38

of the restaurants started with the word doctor.

12:42

I can't remember what it was, but the

12:44

first time we had it, it was so revolting

12:46

and made everyone feel so bad

12:49

that when the writer picked that restaurant

12:51

again to eat at, I said, no, we can't do that,

12:53

We're not doctor. Also

12:56

the second one is is it a

12:58

Los Angeles chain tender Green's. Yes.

13:00

Yeah, they served me salmon

13:02

that was gelatinous. Yeah. It was

13:05

essentially putting. And after that I

13:07

said, we're I have to stand up.

13:09

We're not ordering from tender Greens anymore.

13:11

We're not. You know, the fried

13:13

chicken at tender Greens is really suspect.

13:17

It's really expensive cafeteria

13:20

food. You better be careful.

13:22

You both underestimate your own personal

13:24

power and influence here. I mean, you

13:27

have collectively combined the

13:29

power to take them down. I hope,

13:31

so I

13:34

don't. I don't want anyone sort of

13:36

having gelatinous salmon or that suspect

13:39

fried chicken. I will say every time we order tender

13:41

greens, now I will get a soup. I think they're

13:43

chicken. And that's a hack

13:45

that I offered to. Soup

13:47

is a hack for almost any restaurant. Soup

13:49

is iconic. It's real culture. Number one hundred

13:51

and three is iconic.

13:54

It's such a hack when you order something that's

13:56

on the menu at a place, it's

13:59

such people

14:01

don't think about soup. They don't think

14:03

about soup, and it's a nominee for That's not true.

14:06

That's not true. I always year

14:08

round think about soup. I think about it all the sunny, asked

14:10

anybody at thirty Rock. I do know something

14:12

about Bridger, about his his sort

14:14

of restaurant choices that I find so

14:17

charming and I relate to so much. Is

14:19

that Bridger for a while on Twitter back in like

14:21

two thousand eleven twelve, had a whole

14:23

run about Arby's, and he is an Arby's

14:25

queen because Arby's

14:28

just so good and never gets talked about

14:30

Bridger. Can you can you talk about this? You did have a

14:32

whole series of tweets. Okay, first of all, I want

14:34

to say that Bridger was one of the Please

14:37

this is so humiliating. I'm so sorry Bridger.

14:40

I would say that Bridger was like one of those

14:42

like quote unquote early Twitter,

14:44

like, oh, this person is so funny, Like this is

14:46

back when you would follow follow people on

14:48

Twitter because they were just just cranking

14:51

out funny, funny stuff before

14:53

it like became what it is now. Um

14:55

it still is that to some degree, but like Bridger was one of those

14:57

people. I was like, oh my god, this guy is so funny,

14:59

and and he had a bunch of tweets about

15:01

like going to Arby's, you know,

15:04

meeting people at Arby's. Maybe today

15:06

I'll go to Arby's. And there was one tweet that there's one teet

15:08

that I will never forget. I know, I know it word for word.

15:11

This is my one of my favorite all

15:13

time Bridge. I'm so sorry to do this. This is so

15:15

this is sorry at all. He wants to do it, That's why

15:17

he's doing it. I'm glad for

15:19

Arby's. For Arby's too, Okay,

15:21

and I haven't had them in a while, but this is the tweet, and

15:24

I'm kind of spoiling the tweet already, but this is

15:27

the tweet. If you want to see the tweet, just go back, look

15:29

back in two thousand and twelve. You can read it yourself,

15:31

but you've been warned. This is a bridge winninger classic.

15:35

Can you guess where I am? Hint?

15:38

I am looking at a person parentheses,

15:40

the person is wearing a shirt other

15:43

parentheses. I am at r baby.

15:49

It's the perfect congratulations. Can we get

15:51

a ding ding dings affect? I

15:55

am? I'm just

15:57

a puddle and I'm thrilled up

16:00

out. Look, I've been brought

16:02

on here and now I'm just proudly owning how much

16:04

I love Arby's. It's good to be trashed, Will

16:06

say, Arby's the menus too big. We've

16:08

got to narrow it down. Wow, Arby's

16:11

is shooting out some experimental things there.

16:13

You make the roast beef sandwich. It's of

16:16

course, it's incredibly it's it's a very

16:18

suspicious product. I enjoy eating.

16:21

But when you start putting that into like a e ro

16:24

what are we talking? Just do your thing.

16:27

So you just wish Arby's was more like an in and

16:29

out situation. A lean menu,

16:32

few things that everyone loves that are undeniably

16:35

good. We could all learn something from in and

16:37

out. Especially they're anti

16:39

VAXs well anti Bible

16:42

versus. Those

16:45

are the two things. Are they

16:47

anti vacs? The owner is very anti

16:50

sort. He's pushing back against a lot of vaccine

16:53

not mandates, but like checking like vaccination

16:55

staffs and whatever coming from

16:57

Bowen Chick fil A Yang. He

17:01

is an absolutely and

17:04

I'm like, no, this is well,

17:06

Bridget will relate to this Chick fil A. I

17:09

feel like, is this thing that listen

17:12

to this explanation, queen no,

17:14

no, better hear me out like I am

17:17

it was. I don't, I can't. I don't know exactly

17:19

where it originated, but it feels

17:21

like Utah, Colorado, Wyoming,

17:24

Monte like like that part of the country, like

17:26

rockies west of Midwest, like

17:29

that was like our thing.

17:31

And then in the years after,

17:34

like two thousand and seven, it's really fucking

17:36

like metastasized into this Chick

17:38

fil a thing that we know now Jesus got involved.

17:41

Well Jesus, Jesus was always involved, let's

17:43

get that straight, but Jesus

17:48

straight. So it was it was a thing where

17:50

like if you grew up in let's say, Aurora, Colorado

17:52

like me, you would go to Chick fil A and be like, oh

17:54

right, they're closed on Sundays, but you

17:56

know, all the Mormon kids work there, and we're

17:59

all gonna go and drink a lemonade.

18:01

And it was just like part of the life. It was like built

18:03

into the lifestyle. There is that is that? Is

18:05

that fair to say Bridger? Weirdly sort

18:07

of? Chick fil A was only in malls

18:10

since Utah, and it dwindled.

18:13

There was really meaning Chick fil A

18:15

and fashion play small. For years it was

18:17

fashion place where

18:19

you want to go. Obvious, it was the saddest

18:21

Chick fil A. And then yeah, around two thousand seven

18:24

comes roaring back. It's

18:26

all over the place and now people kind of own it almost as

18:28

a political thing or of course, which

18:30

is just mine buggling. I had a straight

18:33

writer say to my face,

18:36

sorry, I just like how it tastes. What

18:39

are I'm sorry, it's a fine chicken

18:41

sandwich. You don't have to throw in my face.

18:44

That's the thing I feel bad about. It's like the sad,

18:46

which is fine. It's fine,

18:48

but when you have places like

18:50

tender Greens who are doing chicken so wrong.

18:53

It's at least nice to go to Chick

18:55

fil A and where I have done it, and

18:58

at least you know they're going to do their chicken right.

19:00

But you know who else Those chicken tenders right Arby's.

19:03

They do chicken incredibly

19:06

well. They do chicken incredibly well. And they

19:08

have a soda swap, the one

19:10

in Times Square as the one with all

19:12

the incredible sodas, where you can say, it's

19:15

not just roop here, it's vanilla roop here.

19:17

It's not just Dr Pepper, it's cherry

19:19

dr pepper that you can swip and swap

19:22

do all these sorts of things. I am so

19:24

happy to hear about. No one knows about Arby's

19:26

chicken tenders. They don't know because

19:28

they're sore, because because you said it, you

19:31

said it. It's the men used too big,

19:34

isolate in and out we do burgers

19:37

by see you later. I

19:39

feel like the soda swap, as Matt calls it.

19:41

When Matt says soda swap, he means like that iconic

19:44

thing. It's a coke free style there.

19:49

Oh my god, that's this is this is the writer brain

19:51

really working, yes, in that way. That he knew

19:53

what it was really called. That's that writer brain. But

19:56

I think he invented the term sort

19:58

of off the top. I'm wish coke

20:01

freestyle. That's a style that's

20:03

hot, but it was I

20:05

feel like this is also a big thing. And among

20:07

Mormons who can't drink alcohol, can't have

20:09

caffeine, can't like or I mean, they can't

20:11

have Coca cola obviously, but at least

20:13

they can get creative with like adding some syrups

20:16

to a phosphate, to a

20:18

sprite, to whatever is that is? That also

20:20

fair to say, though, And this is the most confusing

20:23

thing, maybe the most well, no, it's not the most

20:25

confusing thing about Mormon is um, but

20:28

one of the most confusing things performans

20:30

drink Coke's

20:35

coffee is the one definite no. Why

20:37

why do you have? Do do you have an answer to

20:40

why? Because because I know you, I know you sort of

20:42

left the church. You were you were like a Heather

20:44

gay and when you were a

20:46

teenager? Is that correct? I was. I

20:48

didn't come out till I was thirty, oh my

20:50

goodness, And you didn't leave Mormonism till you

20:53

I like, it was a slow exit for Mormonism

20:56

starting when I was like nineteen twenty.

20:58

Okay, so so got it. So that feels

21:00

that feels pretty I would say that

21:03

that that all makes sense, like based on like

21:05

a lot of a lot of this journey just

21:07

feels like that is sort of the way it's it's it gets

21:09

tracked these days. But talk

21:12

about the sodas so okay, so

21:14

the soda culture, caffeine culture

21:16

within Mormonism, it's baffling to

21:18

everyone. I'm going to just be a

21:20

spokesport person for the Mormon Church at this

21:22

point and just let people know I'm started to

21:24

make I think it

21:27

needs to be you because there's so many voices

21:29

on the real hospitals of Salt Lake City. I

21:31

want to know, like how you can distill

21:34

it so we can understand it. And then I want to know who

21:36

you identify with most on the show through

21:38

the lens of soda. I just feel like, I'm sorry

21:40

to put you in this position. Don't apologize

21:43

that. I want to reach out

21:45

to Mormons everywhere and say you can have

21:47

any caffeinated soda. You can have a coke,

21:50

a diet coke, the mountain, do a

21:52

diet mountain, do a pepsi, a

21:55

diet pepsi. If it's the only thing at

21:57

Arby's. Can you have cream

21:59

soda? You can have? You have so much

22:01

cream soda, NonStop

22:04

cream so wow, goodness.

22:07

Cannot have coffee, cannot have coffee,

22:09

cannot have caffeinated tea. What

22:12

is it a terrestrial drink? Is it a devil's

22:14

drain? An outer darkness? Drains

22:16

Mormons have? It's an outer darkness? Well, no, there

22:19

are very few people who go to outer darkness?

22:22

What is that? Basically within Mormonism,

22:25

outer darkness is like ultimate hell. So

22:28

wait, Heather Gay was just talking about this on this

22:30

episode. I didn't know this that there's different

22:32

levels of I only saw the last half of the episode.

22:35

Yeah, and because Bravo put it on at I

22:37

know it was really weird. This

22:41

was the big one because Jen gets arrested. Yeah, I saw

22:43

the good part. How the sort of delineates

22:45

it. She goes, there's celestial, there's

22:47

um, what's what's the one below that? Maybe

22:51

telestial telestial terrestrial

22:55

darkness? The outer darkness and outer darkness

22:57

is reserved for truly eleven people or

22:59

something like it.

23:01

Like the rule is if you meet God and

23:04

then deny God, you go to outer darkness.

23:06

So it's very few people get that opportunity

23:10

everyone else. I

23:15

meant God, and she said, baby,

23:17

you better stick with me, and I said no, bit whatever

23:22

I meant God, I said, never mind, Queen,

23:25

I'm turning around. You watch my fat

23:27

ass walk away. Where's out of darkness?

23:30

Taking the elevator down and there, honey, heat

23:32

it up, beat it up

23:36

anyway. This is so human. I'm

23:38

sorry, Bridger, I started apologizing.

23:40

This was the planel so I feel

23:43

like you must. I feel this way

23:45

when people ask me about like my upbringing, and I'm

23:48

like, I don't want to sort of get re traumatized

23:50

in the recounting of certain

23:53

things. It's not that severe, but I'm like, oh,

23:55

but it is sort of like I gotta, you know, sort

23:57

of exhume all that stuff from my life

23:59

and be O, what do you think for

24:02

me? It's like people just don't know how to

24:04

modulate. They either they'll find out and

24:07

then they don't ask anything and then it's weird,

24:09

or they ask everything. And I'd much rather people just

24:11

ask everything. I don't care. I'm

24:14

happy to talk about it. And we've got to get we all

24:16

have to get on the same page about Mormons drinking

24:18

soda. That's

24:22

the Mormon Church should be putting out ads. Yeah

24:24

you can drink. Maybe it's like a collab

24:26

with coke. Yeah, something.

24:29

Well, Lisa Barlow is essentially advertising

24:32

diet coke on the show, and so when when there

24:34

was a question about soda consumption on

24:36

the podcast just now, Um, I

24:38

really was thrown for a loop because here she

24:40

is already throwing it in the face of God outer darkness

24:43

ship drinking tequila, um,

24:45

and even selling it mass market. And

24:48

she's obviously a huge fan of diet coke. But

24:50

these things are sort of acceptable, I suppose. Yes,

24:53

Lisa Barlow's entire relationship

24:56

with Mormonism in baffling. What

24:59

part of the religion are you involved

25:01

in? Because it doesn't seem to be the religion

25:04

and her family is going to die. They

25:06

eat a taco three

25:08

three deals today. It's crazy wild.

25:12

But I relate to that soda

25:14

consumption. Yeah, you're talking to two

25:16

sodaheads soda queen's when

25:18

I was little. I actually think the reason I

25:20

am the way I am is because growing

25:23

up in the nineties, I think it hadn't hit

25:25

Long Island that soda was bad so

25:27

when I was when I was growing up, every

25:29

dinner there was three types of soda

25:31

on the table. There was a full two leader bottle

25:33

of sprite, a full two lead bottle of coke,

25:35

and a full two lead bottle of diet coke,

25:38

the trinity, the trinity. Really, so

25:40

that was coke sometimes

25:44

sprite. When I was feeling like, maybe

25:46

maybe we'll just chill tonight, you know what I mean.

25:50

I was a dinner with a friend a week ago

25:52

and he ordered himself a sprite. I could

25:54

not believe. The very funny

25:56

writer John Millstein. Okay,

25:59

he's wonderful, very funny, and he

26:01

told me there's a secret group of people who are drinking

26:03

sprite. I'm

26:06

not so secretly. The preferred

26:09

drink in any situation for me is a sprite,

26:11

no alcohol, just I want to sprite. The

26:14

most refreshing drink in the world.

26:17

It's one of the best kept secrets. All

26:19

the coolest people are drinking

26:22

sprite, and it's like it needs

26:24

to be known. Do you guys want to know the Mandarin translation

26:27

of sprite, Yeah, it's b,

26:29

which roughly translates to I might be getting

26:31

this wrong, but it means

26:33

snow, and I think it means snow

26:36

nectar, like snow gorgeous,

26:39

isn't that beautiful? And I'm like, that is

26:41

I would drink sprite, But

26:44

that's the same thing with mountain dew

26:46

is a beautiful name. Gorgeous. Mound

26:48

dew is absolutely stunning name. I wish that.

26:50

I wish that had tasted as good as it sounded, because

26:53

you hear a mountain dew and then you sort of drink

26:55

what it is and you're like, oh, that

26:57

feels like super sprite does like mountain.

27:00

One of the darkest moments of my closeted

27:03

life. It was probably two

27:05

thousand twelve. I was living

27:07

in a studio mid city Los Angeles.

27:10

For some reason, I walked to the nearby

27:12

Ralph's at eleven PM

27:15

and purchased a diet mountain Dew. Started

27:17

drinking it on my web. Way back, passed

27:20

through a group of like tall, very good looking,

27:22

very well dressed men near the l Ray Theater.

27:25

And as I'm passing through, I look over and

27:27

like this far away. As I'm drinking diet mountain

27:29

dew is Morrissey, I

27:33

felt I've never felt

27:35

lower. Just trash. I just

27:38

absolute trash. Did he notice you

27:40

drinking this diamond? I'm sure it

27:43

just screams out the packaging. Really, it's

27:45

just like letting the

27:48

only thing is to drink a mountain do code

27:50

red because because because the packaging

27:52

is literally code rad I mean it's it's it's alerting

27:55

everyone around. I feel like morrissey

27:57

Is would not judge someone for drinking

27:59

and diet mountain dew. And it feels like

28:01

maybe even like a very Smith's esque

28:03

thing to drink

28:06

one it like past eleven PM

28:08

in mid City. Like it feels that that's part

28:10

of the the imagery that

28:12

that the Smith's evoke. I

28:16

absolutely disagree. I

28:19

think so. I think that's true. This

28:22

this charming man drinking a diet mountain

28:25

jew. I would go out tonight, but

28:27

a diet mountain that's

28:31

perfect. I think that's perfect. Okay,

28:43

So before we ask you our question that

28:45

we always ask our guests. I mean, this

28:47

is this is compulsory at this point for you.

28:50

What are your thoughts? I'm sure you've been asked so many

28:52

times by people, what are your thoughts on the real house

28:54

Hives of Salt Lake City? Are you enjoying it?

28:56

Does it feel reflective of your

28:59

memory of it, or you know the way

29:01

you conceive of Salt Lake City because

29:03

it is his Housewives intro.

29:06

Because I heard on your episode of your podcast with

29:08

Cola Scola that you

29:10

had not waited the waters of Housewives.

29:12

You just said, Okay, if they're doing Salt Lake City,

29:15

let me just see what the funk it is. It's a beautiful

29:17

gateway. I think. I agree. I had seen

29:19

maybe one episode of Beverly Hills

29:21

and it was not hooked. Uh,

29:24

and this has sucked me in

29:26

in a way that I could have never imagined.

29:28

You too beautiful. I

29:30

went back home for the first

29:33

time since the pandemic in April. I

29:35

saw my parents and then I borrowed my mom's

29:37

car and at about thirty PM drove

29:40

to Beauty Lab and like, just to the

29:42

Oh my god, you didn't go in, Well,

29:45

it was closed, so I went the next day.

29:47

And when you went in,

29:49

what, Okay, explain what it's like to walk into Beauty

29:51

Lab and Lazer I want a full trip report. Well,

29:54

I'm I was familiar with this parking lot.

29:57

This parking lot is the area

29:59

there's like a there used to be a sporting goods

30:01

store. There was the like weird,

30:04

like, uh, teachers supply store

30:06

where you would like go to get things for school supplies

30:08

or whatever. And then there was maybe

30:11

a Skipper's Fish and Chips for

30:13

a very long time, so I was like familiar,

30:15

gonna put a pin in that because I want to go there.

30:19

Skips, Fish and Chips iconic. The moment

30:21

I saw a beauty lab on the show is like, oh, I know that's

30:23

a very trashy parking lot that

30:25

that's located in. I

30:28

go there and I pulled up and I thought,

30:30

I'm gonna go in and just act like not

30:32

like I'm not familiar with the show. I just want to look at the

30:34

menu. Uh, let what's

30:37

happening here? I went in and caved immediately.

30:39

I said, I'm sorry. I'm a huge fan of the show

30:41

and I just had to come in. And

30:43

they loved, They were thrilled, they were beyond throws.

30:45

Oh do you want to get a picture? Do you want to get a picture. They take you

30:47

right back to the angel wings. You know, they have one

30:50

of those terrible street art angel wings. I

30:52

got my they took my photo. I have

30:54

sunglasses on because their prescription I look insane.

30:57

Um And then

30:59

I left it. The whole thing felt very

31:02

like Soviet hospital.

31:05

Oh my god, like

31:07

they're like I felt like the weird little curtains

31:09

and it just didn't because it feels almost

31:11

medical but not not really, not

31:13

really, it's beauty. So

31:16

but they were so welcoming and thrilled

31:19

to half me. I've got photos. And then

31:21

I my sister knew where

31:23

or the whereabouts of like basically

31:26

where Whitney Rose lives because they

31:29

have like a she lives in this area

31:31

called Daybreak, and it's a very clear maybe

31:34

where she was. My sister, god bless

31:36

has not seen the show, drove me around until

31:39

we found Whitney's house and I got my picture outside

31:41

of it. Oh my god.

31:43

So Heather was not at beauty Lab and

31:46

may have been inside, but you don't know. Yeah,

31:48

let's assume she was inside. Sure,

31:51

let's assume she was inside. Was it was the pandemics

31:53

though, And let's assume Heather was doing work,

31:57

she was blasting someone's face or something. Mine

32:00

one of the uss are curtain. I

32:03

mean, do you do

32:05

you have a temperature read

32:08

on what Salt Lake City as

32:10

a community, as a municipal

32:13

community, how they are affected

32:15

by this show. I have a little

32:17

bit. I feel like there's a

32:19

decent amount of embarrassment. Okay,

32:23

I feel like practicing Mormons

32:25

are probably annoyed. I

32:28

think the rest of the experience

32:30

that these women have feels

32:33

very far removed from

32:35

Utah in general, right, especially

32:37

like Meredith. I mean, she seems

32:40

like she's like doesn't even live there or

32:44

right, It's very clear based

32:47

on her Instagram activity that that's the case.

32:50

Um I have I do have. I

32:52

won't say how they're related to me or

32:54

anything, because I don't know how well any

32:56

of how well Lisa knows them, but

32:58

I do have have someone in my life

33:00

who has interacted with Lisa, and

33:03

it's not a great report. I

33:05

also know someone. Again,

33:07

I wish I could give more details, but I

33:10

always is

33:13

this gonna get me sued? Mary

33:15

not acting well at an event, that's

33:18

all you and that's all you have to say. I don't think on

33:22

a single event depicted on the show, so

33:24

I don't think that's gonna get you sued. I think that she's

33:26

live BLib bliss for bad behavior at events.

33:29

Right. Uh. I wish

33:31

I really wish I could tell

33:34

more about this. I will say, like also

33:36

things about bills not getting paid

33:39

that kind of I hear. I think, you know,

33:41

when I started talking about on Instagram, like people

33:43

from high school or whatever would reach out and be like, oh,

33:45

this this person. Like we

33:47

almost had to call collections on this sort of thing.

33:49

So it's like, oh, people, they're in the community,

33:52

and they are probably all terrible,

33:54

although I kind of love them. I'm

33:58

hitting I'm I'm I'm hitting critical

34:00

mass with Mary. Unfortunately,

34:03

I'm like, I don't know how much longer I can watch this. She's

34:06

got a big episode this week. I'm gonna tell

34:08

you, like, she's completely unhinged.

34:10

It's really dark,

34:13

and I think it's gonna get darker. Let

34:15

me ask you, guys what you think about Jenny, because

34:18

I think she just seems like the most normal person

34:20

who has been sucked into this. It's

34:22

like, how did It's like she stumbled into the

34:24

show and she doesn't belong there. She's

34:26

just a nice she has a healthy normal

34:28

Well the husbands, but

34:32

they seem otherwise. They're doing science

34:34

projects at home or whatever, and then there's

34:36

never any drama drama other than like where

34:38

the ski resort. Now, I'm going to tell you you have to have

34:40

a baby, and I'm going to marry someone else. There

34:43

you go, Bridger, It's that there's there doesn't

34:45

seem to be any drama because I don't think there is,

34:47

and I honestly think this stuff with

34:50

her husband is a little it smells

34:53

a little manufacturer to me, which

34:55

is crazy because she's truly like

34:57

the fish are nibbling at her legs and she's talking about

34:59

her and the miscarriage just like this. It's

35:02

not something you should be pressured into talking about.

35:04

We're not we're not high

35:06

on Jenny and we don't know it's too

35:08

bad. And like I hate to I

35:10

do agree with you on everything you've said, Bridger,

35:13

And it feels like I don't mean to say this

35:15

in a way that like to frame it

35:17

in terms of belonging, because that's

35:19

like a touchy sort of thing to throw

35:21

out there when it comes to like I don't

35:24

mean, I'm sorry to go here, but like an

35:26

Asian person, feeling belonging anywhere

35:29

is tough, like in this country, but like on the show,

35:31

it's tough because it feels

35:33

like there is this effort

35:37

and it's a little sweaty. And then I

35:39

to make this comparison, I'm

35:41

making this comparison rhetorically to like

35:43

a Crystal Kung Minkoff, for example,

35:46

and I'm like, there's there's just like

35:48

it's it's not that it's it's not that it's an

35:50

Asian thing, and it's more that,

35:53

like I think Jenny's probably,

35:55

like you said, just like a lovely, normal

35:58

person who has wonder as

36:00

a really interesting backstory, but like is

36:02

otherwise pretty well adjusted and then kind

36:04

of has to like do the

36:07

reality show persona

36:10

drag that like I think jen Shaw does,

36:12

but then oh wait, she's actually a despicable person

36:15

like that. It's horrifying

36:17

to me if it's true or not

36:19

true. So if it's true that her husband

36:21

Dewey is saying to her on camera for

36:24

the first time, I want to

36:26

have children, despite the fact

36:28

that you've had nine mischaracters and a still

36:31

birth and you are in

36:33

your forties and your body is not

36:35

able to have children. It doesn't matter

36:37

to me. You should have a baby, and if you

36:40

don't want to have one, we should introduce

36:42

another woman into our mayor

36:44

into our relationship. If it's

36:46

actually true that that is happening on the show

36:48

and it's unfolding as real drama, that's

36:51

awful. And if they're faking

36:53

it, it's also awful. And it's either

36:55

true or it isn't, so it's bad either

36:58

way. She I wish she

37:00

could have just had a normal life. I

37:02

feel like this, who forever one a normal

37:05

life? Can say a rural culture

37:07

number eleven. I wish normal

37:11

life. That's all I really

37:13

want for everyone. They

37:15

seem so it seems like a happy family.

37:18

Well on this episode, like she does, Mary

37:21

doesn't invite her to her Italian cooking

37:24

lesson. So they're at home and

37:26

it's literally this is the scene. It's Jenny

37:28

in the kitchen like washing her hands to cook,

37:30

and her children are like the Von Traps. They come in

37:32

one by one, Mommy, what are you doing?

37:35

Can I help you cook? Well? Yes,

37:38

I was planning on making dinner, of course.

37:40

Well let me just again my hands washed

37:43

and clean as well so that I can help. Okay,

37:45

wonderful. The next kid comes in, Hey,

37:48

are you guys cooking in here together? Might

37:51

I joined absolutely wash

37:53

her hands and it's just like, what the fuck is

37:56

this? That's the show I want? I

37:58

guess that show

38:04

all right. Well, before before

38:06

we drop into the outer darkness,

38:08

that is talking about only this show on

38:11

this podcast and don't test us. Um,

38:13

we should ask the question that we ask all of

38:16

our guests, Bridger, what was the

38:18

culture that made you? Say? Culture

38:21

is for you? So this is basically

38:23

asking what was the culture that

38:25

sort of made you into the person

38:28

that you are. This could be popular culture, film,

38:30

television, music, theater, etcetera,

38:32

damps or just general culture.

38:34

What's it for you if you're looking back and assessing,

38:37

I will say the what my

38:40

family zero God

38:43

bless my parents, terrible taste, both

38:46

of my older brothers, zero taste,

38:49

no peek into the outside world. The

38:52

only tiny peek I head into anything

38:54

was that, for some reason, my parents watched

38:56

Letterman, which is so out of the

38:59

for them. Um, which

39:02

truly like Letterman was kind

39:04

of how I was introduced to Amy Sedaris,

39:06

which became Strangers

39:09

with Candy, And that the fact that if

39:11

that didn't exist, I would

39:13

probably be at the bottom of the Great

39:15

Salt Lake or something. It's uh, truly

39:18

that tiny because there was no other culture.

39:21

Yeah yeah, zero, yeah,

39:24

So that I don't great

39:26

answer. Oh, I love that.

39:28

I want to know that what was life filled with

39:31

if there wasn't like culture

39:33

and like arts like video games.

39:35

Okay, okay, great video

39:38

games were a nice safe entry

39:41

into which led to the Internet, which

39:43

is another like that was another little peek

39:45

into the world, right was

39:47

it like StarCraft? Like battle that stuff?

39:50

And then you were like you learned how this all worked with a

39:52

Diablo to like what like, like the

39:54

internet is important. It was early

39:56

looking up Mario sixty before

40:00

they before the N sexy four was announced,

40:03

because that was a launch title. That was a launch

40:06

title, and I one of the

40:08

most mortifying experiences I had as

40:10

I don't know, six or seventh grader was I was

40:12

so obsessed reading about Mario that

40:15

my sister's friend Ashley

40:17

called, and I answered the phone Mario, and I thought,

40:19

now everyone knows I'm a nerd. I

40:22

would think it was the secret was out.

40:28

Uh but yeah Mario,

40:30

which led into I

40:32

still think so much about video games despite

40:34

the fact that I played maybe two a year. I'm

40:37

the same way. I'm the same way. I don't play

40:39

them with the sort of I

40:41

don't know availability though, Yeah,

40:44

sure, like I wish I played more, but

40:46

I think about them all the time. Yeah

40:49

I don't. I guess it's just a disease.

40:51

I'll live with until I die. The fact that like

40:53

a seventy five I'll be thinking about video games

40:55

feels far fetched, But

40:59

here we are. Was

41:01

it um? And then what would talk about? I

41:04

have such indelible memories

41:06

of I wasn't even playing

41:08

Mario sixty four. I was just watching someone

41:11

else do it, and I was like, this is right

41:14

there, not even that. It wasn't even my sister

41:17

was like other kids, like other kids in the neighborhood

41:19

and be like this, this is insane.

41:21

Well, graphically that was like a new frontier.

41:24

It was a whole new thing. Yeah, I

41:26

mean it was. It is like

41:28

it was like a giant shift in the way

41:31

anything worked for as far as computers

41:33

went right, absolutely as

41:35

far as as far as video games went in

41:37

terms of like three

41:40

D motion, it was like and

41:42

then just I mean to think about, like I

41:44

think all the time about how they

41:46

got it so right in that game

41:49

genius to be like, Okay, it's gonna be at the

41:51

castle, but then you jump into

41:54

these paintings to go into the level

41:56

like genius. That would still

41:58

work today. That's still

42:00

like that is still innovative today,

42:03

and that is crazy to me. I

42:05

don't know, be right out of the gate in a medium

42:08

and do it right feels wild

42:11

to me. It's like landing the Mars Rovere.

42:13

It's like you have like a one square inch

42:15

of terrain to land on and you've gotta

42:17

you gotta landed just right. And

42:20

where did you feel? Yeah? Did you feel that way about Zelda?

42:23

Of course? I mean just

42:25

completely Banjo Kazoo

42:28

Banjo, it's

42:31

underrated banjom ZOOI actually

42:33

doesn't get talked about. Also,

42:35

I mean I feel like Kazoo is a very gay

42:38

I mean they're both very gay characters. There's

42:40

kind of the sassy bird and the like

42:42

Banjo is kind of sexy, he's

42:44

got nothing but short kind of just

42:47

he's a hot bear. Also

42:50

like, I'm sorry, but can I just stick

42:52

up from my girl Donkey Kong because

42:55

I feel like gets the shaft And I'm

42:58

really excited because Super Nintendo World is

43:00

getting there's gonna be Donkey Kong roller coasters

43:02

in them, so we're not just doing first

43:04

thought like oh it's Super Nintendo World and it's

43:06

gonna be Mario, only Donkey Kong will be represented

43:09

and it matters, So am I with Donkey

43:11

Kong? People? If

43:15

that roller coaster isn't a mine card, then the whole thing

43:17

should be shut down. And let me tell you something, Bridger,

43:20

you're gonna be excited. Guess what. It's

43:23

a mine cut rollercoaster, babe, and it jumps the track.

43:26

Oh that can't well,

43:28

then I guess you're gonna eat your goddamn

43:31

hat. All right, that's

43:33

gonna be can't possibly jump the

43:35

track? That is the look

43:38

it up because guess what, it's gonna appear

43:40

to jump the track, but there's gonna be the track

43:43

underneath the track. There's gonna be a track

43:45

underneath the track, So there's gonna be like a single rail track

43:47

and then quote unquote track and

43:49

it's gonna appear to jump the track very

43:52

much though, a perfect illusion. I

43:55

don't like that. I think they should commit or

43:58

it's a binary thing either. What are

44:00

they don't wants to be soaring

44:02

through the air in a mine card? Potentially?

44:07

Yeah, they're making a movie with Donkey

44:09

Kong. Is that right? We

44:13

can't let these characters talk. It's

44:15

you know what it is. It's that thing of it's

44:17

like all the Nintendo characters together and

44:20

so now Chris Pratt is Mario

44:22

and so they announced the cast for this like

44:25

Mario movie, and I was like, the casting

44:27

is all over the place. I felt like Chris Pratt should

44:29

have been Donkey Kong and I

44:31

was like, just the casting was literally all over

44:33

the place. Any teller Joy is Peach, which

44:35

I loved, and the rest of it. All the Mail

44:38

characters were like Jack Black should not be

44:40

that one. He should be this one, that one, the other one. But

44:42

you know who's Jack Black? We

44:44

could pull up cares. I mean, Mario

44:47

was in the conversation. I do want to talk about Letterman

44:49

for a bit, but let's just up,

44:52

okay. Um. I mean I

44:54

feel like for us, for

44:57

us, you know, friends of Dorothy whatever,

44:59

Like the Sedaris

45:01

interviews were always

45:04

like just such a moment, you know, just

45:07

the best television I could watch, the

45:09

best television and like every I mean like I like I

45:11

remember them specifically, like the ones she came

45:13

on went because she would just like they would

45:16

just call her up when like a guest would drop out and she's

45:18

like run up the street. And then you

45:20

know, like Dwayne Wade was there, and then she had

45:22

this whole thing, dude, you know what I'm talking about where she was like and

45:27

then like she would like promote. She promoted the Streets of the Kenny

45:30

movie, which felt like a beautiful moment because like she

45:32

actually had something to promote. Um.

45:35

She would always have a new dress, which I think would

45:37

be purchased with the money from the previous appearance,

45:40

which she would talk about like uh,

45:44

being a waiter, things like this. It just everything

45:46

she did was perfect. She would give tour. I feel like she gave

45:49

a tour of her neighborhood at one point that was just a huh.

45:52

I mean, I feel like there

45:55

is something about Letterman like would

45:57

work today despite all of like

46:00

the culture being pulled in a million different

46:02

directions. But like he was he was the person

46:05

who was able to pull off being an asshole

46:07

in the way that like you could say that like Larry

46:09

David does now, but like for

46:11

like his person as a late night host

46:14

was so so right,

46:16

even though he was like a jerk and like

46:19

and has like shitty opinions

46:21

of course, but like you

46:24

like you could tell that, like it's like the only

46:26

person like Tina Fey would like love to go

46:28

on and like like she like prepare stuff

46:30

for him, um,

46:32

and then like the Paris Hilton interview. I unfortunately

46:35

think that it is still like it's it's

46:38

humiliating for her obviously, and it's like not,

46:40

yeah, but why did she go on that? It's

46:43

like you know what I mean, Like I understand it's

46:45

painful for her now, but it's like ultimately,

46:48

like who, why would you book her on that

46:50

show? It's gonna be nice. I

46:52

just I just that that is like people

46:55

can come for me. I think that is one of the

46:58

funniest moments in late night TV at

47:00

the time. Paris was like courting

47:03

negative attention and

47:05

sort of like loving it and like I don't

47:07

know, like doing pretty despicable things. Not that

47:09

that like calls for her humiliation on like

47:11

a late night show, but like I just feel

47:13

like this is not like she's not completely

47:16

a victim in this scenario unfortunately,

47:20

and I feel like Dave was just kind of having fun

47:22

with her, Like can I just say this is

47:24

so I'm sorry to make this about me, but like when

47:27

when An Andrews' and I were writing The Iceberg

47:29

we Can Update, we were just we were basing

47:31

it off of that interview. Someone

47:34

someone who is uncomfortable does not want to talk

47:36

about something and it's trying to deflect

47:39

its being like I'm actually here to talk about something else. Like

47:41

that was what we based it on. Like we were like, we have

47:43

to study this, we have to really study this,

47:46

and like this is how we're going to write it. And

47:48

I and I watched that back last

47:51

year and I was like, this is, of

47:53

course uncomfortable, but like I don't

47:55

know, Like when the guy cheers like love you Parish, she

47:57

goes love you too, and then Letterman, without missing a

47:59

bi goes someone you met in prison and

48:01

the audience just erupts.

48:05

Also like no one noticed

48:08

that, Like no late night host is doing.

48:10

Mean, you know, they're all the nicest

48:13

guys in the world. Like it's so it

48:15

is so race to the finished kindness that

48:18

you kind of miss that edge because

48:21

it's and it's almost like I wonder if there's

48:23

something where they feel like they can't do it

48:25

because they don't feel like they can touch him,

48:27

you know, But then what are

48:29

we watching? I mean,

48:32

Cordon, what are we talking about? The

48:35

nice And also Paris was not the first person

48:37

that Letterman was mean to, Like

48:39

if she was his first target, it'd

48:41

be like I don't know, no, but

48:44

like I feel like Kimmel. Kimmel does a great job.

48:46

I think so too, as real.

48:49

I feel like he does everything you can to make

48:51

it a real interview and between two

48:53

human beings rather than playing

48:55

a game or whatever we're doing on these

48:57

other things exactly. And I'm

48:59

sure I feel like people who work there like come

49:02

out like, I don't know, really enjoying

49:04

that experience. I worked

49:06

there, and yeah, yeah, he's

49:08

the night He is an actually nice

49:11

person. So he's

49:13

just a real person on television

49:16

rather than the reverse of what I

49:18

think is happening on other shows.

49:20

All right, so this is this is the

49:22

Mario voice cast, and let's see

49:25

if you agree with me that this is wrong, not that

49:27

these people shouldn't be in the movie, just that it should be switched

49:29

around. Chris Pratt is playing

49:31

Mario. I have a problem with this based

49:33

on based on voice casting only, and

49:36

yet is Peach sure, Charlie Day

49:38

is Luigi, Seth Rogan

49:40

is Donkey Kong Keegan, Michael Key

49:43

is Told, and Jack Black is Bowser.

49:46

Correct me if I'm wrong. Seth

49:48

Rogan should be Bowser. He's got

49:50

the gravelly voice like and

49:53

also Bowser's number one thing is that

49:55

he's a comedic genius. I

49:57

feel like, like not that

49:59

Jack Black isn't literally hilarious, but I feel

50:01

like Jack Black is giving

50:03

me more honestly Donkey

50:05

Kong. I feel like Charlie

50:08

Day Brogan should be Charlie Day

50:10

should be Mario. I

50:12

was gonna say, yeah,

50:15

that works, Kegan should be Luigi. I

50:17

think they gotta bring it someone

50:19

new for Toad. I don't know who that kicks off.

50:21

I'd say, you know what, maybe Chris Pratt

50:24

would be a funny Toad, but I don't get Keegan

50:26

Michael Keef for Toad, Like, what's the take? Now?

50:28

You need a bri not that Kegan

50:31

doesn't have an Charlie

50:33

Dave should be told, Charlie Day should be told.

50:35

Oh, interesting choice. Okay,

50:37

you're saying Chris should be Bowser, Chris

50:41

Donkey Kong. Jack Black should be Mario,

50:43

Keegan should be Luigi, Seth

50:46

should be Bowser, and Charlie Day

50:48

should be I don't know what. No,

50:51

Charlie Day should be told, that's it period. Charlie

50:55

Dave is Toad makes sense to me, perfect sense.

50:58

None of these characters should have voices. At should be a

51:00

silent film. It should be

51:02

you know she on the sheep, the artist, the

51:05

artist. Yes, I

51:08

mean it should be. It's

51:10

going to be really unsettling to hear them say more than four

51:12

words. I mean, like to me. The

51:15

longest Peach has ever spoken aloud

51:17

in real life is at the beginning of Mario sixty four when

51:19

she's like, please come to my castle for a

51:21

cup of tea or whatever. She mostly

51:23

says oh. She

51:25

mostly says oh.

51:28

She says a variety of things throughout Mario Kart.

51:30

She wrote that beautiful letter at the beginning of Mario

51:32

sixty four, and then she's screaming,

51:35

and she's screaming when

51:39

she goes into the water and Toad,

51:42

I usually I'm Toad, and so you get

51:44

a lot of wow, and you get a lot of like

51:47

a lot of that ship, which I kind of love.

51:49

And I just feel like that is Charlie's day energy

51:52

and the and the Toad scream,

51:55

the Toad effort or whatever. That people

51:57

don't talk about enough is how about

52:02

amazing? Amazing? So dropped

52:05

in some of the best sounds. Did

52:16

you ever play Super Mario Galaxy? Did

52:19

this? If

52:21

there's a new Mario game, I'll play it. You

52:23

play honestly, I feel like I should revisit because people

52:25

like really wrote that off pretty quickly. It's pretty

52:27

good. It's good. I just I just could have played

52:29

it and I finished it in like two days, and

52:32

so like I have no memory of it. But

52:34

I feel like if I were to start again or try to get all the

52:36

moons, I think I would like really enjoy it.

52:38

It's delightful. There's the you know, the nightclub

52:41

singer. I mean, there's just Bizar paul

52:44

right, paul she's the mayor and

52:46

the nightclub singer, Matt.

52:49

You would die for Pauline. She's

52:52

she's in a red dress. She's the mayor of New

52:54

Donk City, New Donk City,

52:57

don And there's this whole segment once you beat

52:59

that world where she sings this

53:02

beautiful jazz song. As you like, as

53:05

you as Mario like jump around Sky's papers,

53:07

you turn into a two D version of yourself eight

53:09

that version of Mario taking coins. Well,

53:12

this gorgeous the most beautiful song you've ever

53:14

heard in the world plays and there's fireworks.

53:16

It's in the night sky, one of the most

53:18

beautiful. I genuinely believe, like a

53:20

lovely moment in video games, truely

53:22

it feels like like a monument. Yes,

53:25

I want to drive into New York. I want to drive

53:27

into New York City with that song just blaring.

53:30

Yes. Yes,

53:34

I always play like it's I'm so fucking

53:36

stupid and basic. But it's like a college thing that we

53:38

used to do when we would drive back in the city. We play the boys

53:41

are back in town. It's very eight, like you're you're

53:43

nineteen years old, but like, I'm going

53:45

to try that next time. Another good choice

53:47

when you're returning home is uh, MAXI

53:50

nightingales, right back where we started

53:52

from. Oh, perfect end of a road

53:54

trip song. Perfect song, perfect

53:57

song. I have something to

53:59

ask you. You might have already talked about this on Homophilia

54:02

with Matt mcconky and Dave Holmes. Bites,

54:05

Um your Weezer connection.

54:08

I feel like we can both relate to on a

54:10

deep level, right Matt, Yeah? Are you both

54:12

Weezer people? Yeah? So, I

54:14

I'm sort of lame because I I

54:16

came to them late when they when they went

54:19

pop, so like, um,

54:21

your daddy, I was like, who's this part

54:26

of the problem? I know a big time

54:28

but that's sort of Micross the bad I'm your

54:30

daddy. Was that the Red album or is that gratitude?

54:33

I feel like that's gratitude. That's where I get

54:35

blurry. Yeah, that's where a lot of people get

54:37

blurry. But I feel like you were

54:39

I think you were saying that, like Weezer was your

54:41

first sort of like latch

54:43

key out of this

54:46

like cultural desolation.

54:48

That was I

54:51

got the Blue album at Walmart. I think

54:53

eighth or ninth grade would put it

54:55

on repeat while I played I hate

54:57

to return to video games. But Wave Race before

55:00

four hours? Oh my god. Uh

55:03

and that was the first like that. Yeah,

55:05

led to other music and then too unfortunately

55:09

Pitchfork and all this nonsense.

55:11

We've all been there. What what can I say? Rivers

55:13

Cuomo defined how men who

55:15

read dress basically

55:18

maybe for the rest of time. Yeah,

55:20

he was definitive. He is. He is an

55:22

aesthetic icon, that's for sure. Yeah,

55:25

and I'm hooked. I'm

55:27

trapped unfortunately, and whatever their cycle

55:29

is, do you find him attractive? No?

55:33

Got it? I will say before

55:35

Andrew Cuomo, before the Cuomo sexual For

55:37

Andrew Cuomo, there were there were gay

55:39

Weezer fans who identified as Cuomo sexuals.

55:43

Rough from

55:46

that right, yep. So rough,

55:49

but I've never found Rivers attractive.

55:51

Really, I feel like that's part of like, that's

55:54

part of the the appeal

55:57

for some people, and they're like, oh, this like guy

55:59

who reads, that's perfect.

56:02

He's very cute. He's like cute

56:04

in the way like uh, Sanrio

56:06

characters cute. He's

56:10

Butts Marou, He's Carabie,

56:13

He's the frog. That's

56:15

adorable. Honestly,

56:19

I would like to see Rivers in in

56:21

the Mario movie. I think Rivers

56:24

would be an interesting toad. To be honest,

56:28

he's gonna I guarantee he's gonna

56:30

end up in the movie. I think that would be good.

56:33

But this is interesting. Let's talk about this Rivers

56:35

Cuomo is cute that I

56:37

think like is Unfortunately what everything

56:40

else is built around this idea

56:42

that like he is this Peter

56:44

pan Um, what's that

56:46

movie that Robin Williams is in when he doesn't grow

56:49

up? Hook, Hook Baby? What

56:51

we're talking about? No, No, it's not that he never

56:53

grows up. Is that he grows so fast fast

56:56

jack. That's right, that's right, grows

56:59

up in doubly fast. And

57:01

is that a Coppola movie? Um?

57:04

Yes, I think I think it is. And I

57:06

think it's one of Jlo's first role. She plays

57:08

the teacher. What oh

57:11

God? And Diane Lane, isn't it

57:13

And of course Diane. We can't forget about

57:15

Diane anyway. This is you

57:17

please. While you're doing that, River, I

57:20

think he's like really leaned in a little

57:22

too hard to the point of no return, where he's

57:24

like, I will I might be in

57:26

my mid forties, but I will not

57:29

ever leave the state of mind of being like

57:31

a twenty two year old. I have been

57:34

thinking about this recently, and I think female

57:36

songwriter's age so much better than

57:38

male songwriters. Absolutely, like

57:41

the wisdom actually continues

57:44

to come out in the songs. Male songwriters become famous

57:46

when they're twenty three and then state twenty three until

57:48

they die, with the rare few rare exceptions.

57:51

You're so right, absolutely

57:54

like yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's here. What's

57:56

your relationship with Taylor Wait,

58:00

Taylor? Oh god,

58:02

I'm so embarrassed right now. Taylor

58:05

Swift. I like to call her Taylor, I

58:08

Taylor. I appreciate Taylor Swift like

58:10

I appreciate like an Apple store, where

58:12

it's like it's pristine, every detail

58:14

has been poured, the money has been poured into make this

58:16

perfect for everyone. No one will be uncomfortable

58:19

with this, sure, but it makes it

58:21

difficult for me to access on an emotional

58:23

level. I would say that

58:25

she's she sort of supports

58:28

your argument here where it's like even someone

58:30

like Taylor Swift who got so famous at a young

58:32

age, can still develop

58:35

in a healthy way as an artist, whereas

58:38

now she's writing songs in

58:40

this very mature way. Like I

58:42

just feel like that never happened, almost

58:44

never happens with male artists, like

58:47

like down to like you know, I

58:50

don't know, like maybe like the one person I can think of weirdly

58:53

off the top of my head is like Robert Plant. It's like,

58:55

oh, you made like a fun like you

58:57

made a fun album with Alison Krause, Like good

58:59

for you. That is true,

59:01

It's like you you kind of you kind of get the feeling

59:03

that maybe John Mayer was best when

59:06

he first came out, you know what I mean.

59:09

This is a really interesting theory,

59:11

Bridger. I think I could be wrong. No,

59:14

I don't think you are frequently constantly

59:16

wrong. But I don't know the evidence is there.

59:19

You have not shown any evidence so far in

59:21

this podcast that you've ever been wrong, because

59:23

we only know you on this podcast so far, and

59:25

you've got to be wrong. So your

59:27

your allegation that you've been wrong in the past

59:30

is one that I can't I certainly don't

59:32

recognize you in the last twenty minutes. I'm just going

59:34

to shotgun blast of misinformation,

59:36

just spreading. You know, do

59:39

you want to say, do you want to start what?

59:41

What? What? What propaganda? Do you want to say?

59:44

I have no propaganda. I actually

59:46

feel like even joking about propaganda

59:49

this point plants the seeds and stupid

59:51

people's heads and they're like, well it was

59:53

said aloud, Maybe I'll look into this. I

59:58

feel like the Internet, know,

1:00:00

like how you plan a plant

1:00:02

will only grow as big as the pot. I

1:00:04

feel like your brain can

1:00:07

be the Internet is this bottomless

1:00:09

pot for stupidity, Like your stupidity

1:00:11

has no limits with the Internet, you can be as dumb

1:00:14

as you want. M M. I

1:00:16

feel like the Internet is the plant, and it can only

1:00:20

extend as far as our brains go.

1:00:22

You know, like there is where we're hitting. We've

1:00:24

hit the ceiling years ago. That's

1:00:26

where the metaverse comes in. I

1:00:29

don't understand how well. In fact,

1:00:31

I literally I literally saw I think it was

1:00:33

like I saw like a screenshot of a of an

1:00:36

article about what Meta was,

1:00:38

and I literally was like, I'm not

1:00:40

not No, only am I not reading this, I'm

1:00:43

never finding out what this is. I

1:00:45

am not engaging. No

1:00:48

no, no, no, no no, I am not engaging with

1:00:50

Meta or Zacher. But why do you say you will you will?

1:00:53

You will? Is it going to be come undeniable? Because

1:00:55

it's yes, I'm saying, sadly

1:00:58

not at me, both of you, sadly out

1:01:00

at me. It's going to happen.

1:01:02

It's gonna happen. Matt. You can't you can't

1:01:05

put you alone, cannot beat

1:01:07

back this tide. And

1:01:09

it's unfortunate. It's so sad. When

1:01:12

I saw him standing with a little cartoon

1:01:14

of himself and he had that stupid smile

1:01:16

on his face and unfortunately he's got like a fat ass,

1:01:19

I was like, get the hell out of here. It's

1:01:21

one of the rules of culture. It's really culture number

1:01:23

thirties five. Unfortunately

1:01:28

he's had a dunk on him. And let me tell

1:01:30

you something. No, I don't like it

1:01:32

at all. No, no, no, no, you don't want

1:01:34

a fat ass on Mark Zucker he's

1:01:36

got a fat ass, though, And I remember he turned

1:01:38

around looked at himself as a cartoon, and I said, unfortunately,

1:01:41

he's got a fat ass, and I looked at it. I'm

1:01:43

not saying I was aroused. I'm saying I looked

1:01:46

down. Okay, Okay, Matt. You

1:01:48

can't deny that you will know about Meta

1:01:50

at some point, very very sort

1:01:52

of thoroughly. And Bridger can't deny

1:01:55

that Zuckerberg has a fat as I

1:02:00

I won't deny it, but I guarantee it's hideous.

1:02:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know it's like milk white

1:02:05

and like pocked,

1:02:08

like one of those deep sea fish, you know

1:02:11

that's like so far into the darkness

1:02:13

that it begins to glow and like pulse sate.

1:02:15

It's the outer darkness, Mark Dr

1:02:17

Brooks is the outer darkness, and

1:02:20

in the most white way possible. There's

1:02:23

no natural selection for beauty

1:02:25

or esthetics because there's

1:02:27

no light that shines on it gets all

1:02:30

the time to like not to like, well, actually

1:02:32

has to absolutely shame because he's literally ruining

1:02:34

the world. But I feel like every time I see him, it's more

1:02:36

Voldemort, you know what I mean. He

1:02:40

is like not aging, but

1:02:42

not in like a good way, when you're like there's

1:02:44

just something he's it's a stasis

1:02:47

rather than that's it,

1:02:49

it's it's, it's, it's it's being

1:02:53

Yeah, just sort of like decurred.

1:02:56

I don't know, I don't know.

1:02:59

Oh, favorite Weezer album before we move on

1:03:04

those first two I think, I

1:03:07

you know, the song Tired of Sex is still

1:03:10

that and Get You are two of my favorite

1:03:12

songs ever. At least they're so dirty

1:03:15

sounding you were singing about

1:03:17

being tired of having sex. The

1:03:20

vocals on Tired of

1:03:22

Sex are so sassy and weird for

1:03:24

like a straight band. I

1:03:26

don't know, there's something very

1:03:29

I don't know. And the B sides, the

1:03:31

B side perfect music, I

1:03:34

mean, god, it's just

1:03:36

there there. Now you just gotta really dig

1:03:38

for the gems. Like I think there's some great songs on

1:03:41

Everything's going to Be all Right in the end, decent

1:03:43

album. It feels like they're turning things around

1:03:46

and then and then now and

1:03:48

then now. I feel

1:03:50

like those first two albums are like next

1:03:53

level any for any type of music,

1:03:55

any type of music you put it on today,

1:03:57

it still works. Like it's great that

1:04:00

they're very loud, they're very noisy and dirty

1:04:02

sounding, and then we're after that, I

1:04:04

think occasionally is a good power pop band.

1:04:07

Well you were, you were? You were in the Beverly Hills music video.

1:04:10

Oh my god, and I'm sorry I

1:04:12

was. I was. My sister

1:04:14

and I were in it. And the

1:04:16

Playboy Mansion. All I remember is

1:04:19

that it felt very poorly taken care of.

1:04:21

The grass looked terrible. There

1:04:23

was bird ship everywhere it

1:04:26

was. It was shot the Playboy Mansion. No, I know that,

1:04:28

but I can't believe it wasn't maintained. It

1:04:31

was. It felt like an old

1:04:33

person's house, you know, someone

1:04:35

who was just like didn't have the means to take care

1:04:37

of it. It was very dingy. Hugh

1:04:40

found dead, found dead. I

1:04:42

could find him dead now if you want. You know, you know that

1:04:44

we announced that he died on this podcast,

1:04:47

and then we had to dory record because he

1:04:49

wasn't dead yet. And

1:04:51

then he died four months later. And then he died four months

1:04:53

later, but we heard that he died, announced

1:04:56

that he was dead, and then

1:04:57

when we had to ascend, we

1:05:00

ever spend that announcement. Wait, who

1:05:03

gave you the information that he had died? Matt?

1:05:06

I remember Matt finding it like

1:05:08

looking at it on Twitter being like, oh my god, all

1:05:10

these tweets are saying, Hugh Hefner is dead. We have

1:05:12

to, like, we have to talk about it.

1:05:14

It's culturally we have we have to talk about it.

1:05:17

Respond, we have to What was the time spend

1:05:19

between your recording and releasing the episode?

1:05:21

I think by the end, by the time we stopped

1:05:24

recording, I like looked into it for maybe

1:05:26

two seconds and was like, he's not But

1:05:29

but we had but we had to do. We had to go back

1:05:31

and re record and be like, hey, just

1:05:33

so you guys know, like we're about you're about to

1:05:35

listen to an episode that talks in depth about the

1:05:37

life and death Hugh Hefner. We

1:05:39

have to say before if this is

1:05:41

the first Peter Smith episode. Everyone

1:05:44

but we we literally I think,

1:05:46

did a hard fifteen minutes on his death.

1:05:48

But on the top we said, hey, just kidding about

1:05:51

the next twenty minutes. There

1:05:53

was no way of cutting around it, so desperate,

1:05:55

scoop desperate. I

1:05:57

will say, last thoughts, I feel

1:05:59

like we ever get to talk about Weezer on this podcast.

1:06:02

Make believe that album that Beverly holdses

1:06:04

on has some great songs on it as well.

1:06:07

I think the production doesn't do it any

1:06:09

favors. Sure, absolutely

1:06:11

sounds terrible. Uh, some

1:06:13

of the songs are catchy, the lyrics are horrible, but

1:06:15

I mean post two thousand with

1:06:17

Weezer, what are you gonna get? Post Green album,

1:06:20

It's like it's tough right then Red album

1:06:22

had some interesting things. Um

1:06:25

and yeah, I'll scorch O on Pinkerton is

1:06:27

one of my favorite songs of all time. It sounds

1:06:29

fantastic. I feel like there

1:06:31

was a period when Rivers Green album Maladroit

1:06:34

was recording nonsense lyrics, which

1:06:36

he got a lot of ship for. But

1:06:38

I would much prefer the lyrics to be just absolute

1:06:41

stream of conscient consciousness rather than

1:06:43

like trying to sound like a teenager

1:06:45

in love. I don't need a fifty year old man singing

1:06:47

about being in love and going to the mall. You

1:06:50

are my baby, and

1:07:00

of the worst, it's one of the best. They

1:07:02

have a song on that album. They have a song on Ratitude

1:07:04

called the Girl Got Hot. It's

1:07:07

so like

1:07:10

this girl from high school who didn't

1:07:12

look that good Now she's hot. Can

1:07:15

you believe it? Does that make you

1:07:17

look at all the work before the hand and be

1:07:19

like, maybe we were wrong because they're

1:07:21

trusting to this, or do you think it was ironic?

1:07:24

I think it's just that person had a

1:07:27

genuine mental break and we're

1:07:29

watching a new person operating

1:07:32

the world. So it's sort of like when was

1:07:34

like fining a hordes

1:07:42

And would you say that Jewel was a different person after

1:07:44

that? That was the inflection point. Absolutely

1:07:47

can't find the job. I

1:07:49

forgot about pop O three

1:07:52

oh four. It

1:07:54

certainly wasn't foolish games. Sure,

1:07:58

sure, I think it's time, Matt. I

1:08:00

think it might be time before I can even

1:08:02

start to get intil the list fair of it all,

1:08:05

because that's

1:08:07

that's that's turning to pop the right way, because

1:08:09

why can't I is actually one of the best pop

1:08:11

songs ever. And that

1:08:13

was ironic and you could tell in

1:08:16

a fun way, but in a fun way, in a in

1:08:18

a fun way where she was like, I mean, I can

1:08:21

do this. It wouldn't it be hilarious if I

1:08:23

had a huge fucking pop hit that was in the

1:08:25

trailer for every rom com like watch

1:08:27

when I do pop better than any pop girl?

1:08:29

And I was fair, I have been and will be. I

1:08:32

think it's iconic I mean people like

1:08:34

I remember that Pitchfork rating was that like a zero

1:08:36

point now and

1:08:39

then recently when Pitchfork released

1:08:42

that like new batch of like these are are edited, these there are

1:08:44

changed scores. Sure they

1:08:46

did that for some ways or album I forget which, but

1:08:49

then with that one,

1:08:51

with that list Fair album, they were like we were

1:08:54

we were being such smug assholes.

1:08:56

No kidding, yeah, I know.

1:08:58

It's like, I mean, they got the pylon they

1:09:00

deserved when they came out with that, they were

1:09:02

like, yeah, fucky and like, I'm like Charlie

1:09:05

xc X god Bluster was like l ow,

1:09:07

like no one understood room Room when

1:09:09

she first started breaking with Sophie. I

1:09:12

remember I remember loving loving room

1:09:14

Room when no one else did, and the quarters

1:09:17

our friend made fun of me, and I was like,

1:09:19

no, this is like really cool and new and like innovative.

1:09:21

And then everyone's like no, this sounds like noise.

1:09:24

I'm like, you guys don't get at And

1:09:26

I feel very vindicated talking

1:09:28

about also

1:09:31

did not It felt like just slightly

1:09:33

ahead of the It didn't feel like music

1:09:35

from space, you know, It's like this is just a

1:09:38

new pop music. I don't know why that was so

1:09:40

hard for people to understand. And

1:09:42

Charlie is she's getting better. She's

1:09:45

she is really, I mean,

1:09:47

she's like I feel like her aestheticallyly, like

1:09:49

in the Good One music

1:09:52

video. I'm like, she looks absolutely

1:09:55

stunning, Like she was one of those girls

1:09:57

where when she first came out, I never really

1:09:59

understood what you looked. I couldn't like see

1:10:01

her when I heard her. And now it's

1:10:03

like I feel like she's crystallizing, which

1:10:05

maybe which maybe was honestly the point in the beginning,

1:10:07

because she was sort of like, you know,

1:10:10

computerized in a way, and now it's

1:10:12

sort of like I feel like she's crystallizing

1:10:14

and like becoming like real to

1:10:16

me in a way where I'm like, it's really exciting because

1:10:18

I've enjoyed it for so many years and now i feel

1:10:20

like I'm getting like what the p o V is?

1:10:23

Finally? Does that make sense? Bo, Well,

1:10:25

you're late to the part. That's actually

1:10:27

fine because at least I'm at the party. It's

1:10:29

better to be at the party, you know what I mean? Sure,

1:10:33

Okay, I will say the way she walks

1:10:35

in the Good Ones video, it could not I mean that

1:10:37

song, there's no other way to walk

1:10:39

to that song other than extremely

1:10:42

purposeful power walking, like, yes,

1:10:45

it's incredible. Do you like to stomp?

1:10:49

I like to stomp? I didn't know. Well what did

1:10:51

you think? I asked? And what did you not hear? The question for

1:10:54

ten other people in this zoom G

1:10:57

I love to stomp. Good. The

1:11:00

next time you see me, I

1:11:03

will stomp into whatever room you're in. I'm

1:11:05

a stomper and people sometimes see me on the street

1:11:07

and will text me and be like, UM, what were you listening

1:11:09

to? And I'm like, oh, shoot, I wasn't even meaning

1:11:12

to stop, but I guess I'm just a stomper. I'm

1:11:14

a stomper too. I would

1:11:16

love to see you in person soon if

1:11:18

I'm in l A. We should do it. We'll figure something

1:11:21

out. I'm saving all this. I should

1:11:23

save all this end chit chat for later. Let's

1:11:34

do I don't think so, honey. Let's

1:11:37

let's do it on what I don't think so, honey.

1:11:39

There's our segment, in which we each

1:11:41

take one minute to rail against something in culture.

1:11:44

I have something right. You

1:11:47

want to go No, no, why?

1:11:49

Why break from tradition. We're gonna

1:11:51

go with Matt first. Then I'll go and then we'll have Bridger

1:11:53

come in. Okay,

1:11:56

great, let's just get right into it. This

1:11:58

is Matt Rodgers is I don't think so his time

1:12:00

starts now. I don't think so. Honey

1:12:02

sold out? Okay, so there's nothing

1:12:05

left for me that sucks? I want

1:12:07

it. A lot of the best things are getting

1:12:10

getting sold out lately, so

1:12:12

what does that mean? Like I can't participate?

1:12:15

Sudie Green wanted one thing for her birthday.

1:12:17

Wendy Ocefo Candle go to the website,

1:12:19

sold out, s o

1:12:22

l ship out of luck. Oftentimes some of

1:12:24

the best pop stars will announce concerts you

1:12:26

go to get tickets sold out. Unbelievable.

1:12:29

That means you can't even go to

1:12:31

it. There's not a seat for you. All

1:12:33

the seats have been bought. It's sold

1:12:36

out. Also, the expression

1:12:39

they quote unquote sold out it

1:12:41

has a negative connotation when sorry,

1:12:43

but that means they're doing absolutely incredible

1:12:46

And if something is sold doubt a lot of people

1:12:48

are. They're enjoying it on so I

1:12:50

guess they're doing something right. Are you

1:12:53

sold doubt? No, there's a lot of

1:12:55

you available and we can hear it. So

1:12:57

what next thing? I know? I want tickets

1:13:00

not sold out. I don't think so, honey. And

1:13:02

that's one minute. You know, there's

1:13:04

supply chain issues, and there's

1:13:07

things are hard to buy right now. They're

1:13:09

so hard to buy right now. And the thing is

1:13:11

I just Douglas name said Matt's Christmas

1:13:14

show. Yes, absolutely sold out. And

1:13:16

I feel bad because now people are coming out of the woodwork

1:13:18

being like can I come, and I have to be like, no,

1:13:21

sold out, And I refused to add more dates because

1:13:23

my total explode. You hate being on either

1:13:25

side of it. I don't like the

1:13:27

concept of it. That's why I said I

1:13:29

don't think so, honey. That's why I said

1:13:31

it Bowen, because I don't like the whole thing.

1:13:34

I don't like that people can't enjoy. I don't

1:13:36

like that I can't enjoy. I don't like that. Really,

1:13:39

what this is about is it's famously

1:13:41

birthday season. Everyone knows this. It

1:13:43

was Bowen's birthday today, Happy birthday,

1:13:46

by the way, thank you, Ethan.

1:13:49

Sudy's birthday is upcoming, and so that

1:13:52

means it's birthday season for me. In my

1:13:54

culture, it's birthday season now because it's Bone and Sudy's

1:13:56

birthdays. So I went to the Wendy Doctor

1:13:59

Wendy os Fo Candles website

1:14:07

Potoma might be my next chap. Yes,

1:14:10

I think that makes it a total sense. It's very

1:14:12

good. Um, but study literally

1:14:14

said, I only want one thing, and it's a doctor

1:14:16

Wendy candle, and it's sold out. And that just sort

1:14:18

of got me really thinking about this whole thing of sold

1:14:21

out, and I started to get more upset

1:14:23

the more I thought about it. Oh, I'm sorry,

1:14:26

Has there ever been a time when something was

1:14:28

sold out, Bridger that you felt so upset?

1:14:30

You two? Last night I went into the

1:14:33

lost, peless Albertson's for the first time

1:14:35

since early pandemic, the

1:14:38

days where the shelves were empty.

1:14:41

It was I was genuinely an emotional experience

1:14:44

seeing things on the shelves. I was

1:14:46

like, Oh, I shouldn't start crying right now. I

1:14:49

moved on in Park last August,

1:14:51

so I haven't been to that Albertson since it

1:14:54

was so jarring to

1:14:56

be in the Albertson's. Let's

1:14:58

just say the Hollywood alberts since they

1:15:01

have a very right for it. They

1:15:03

now have line every

1:15:06

aisle is a different Los Angeles

1:15:08

street. This is all part of the model

1:15:10

that I was not present

1:15:13

for but the last

1:15:15

time I was in there, you know, everyone was rushing

1:15:17

around. Couldn't get pasta, couldn't get

1:15:19

flour. Sold out, the

1:15:22

worst sold out experience, pandemic

1:15:25

and supply shortage.

1:15:27

I just had to buy my Nieces Mario

1:15:29

Kart hot wheels at Target because it's

1:15:32

for my sister. Ship

1:15:35

it to Utah because they couldn't.

1:15:37

Whoever in Utah has bought it out. Sold

1:15:40

out. It's a terrible thing to have. Come

1:15:42

on. I'm so sorry.

1:15:44

If sold out didn't exist, you wouldn't

1:15:47

have to experience, right, if we just had endless

1:15:49

things, no one would have to work

1:15:51

renewable. We need more renewable

1:15:53

resources. It's rule culture number forty

1:15:56

nine. We need more renewables,

1:16:00

says someone. Get on this. God, if

1:16:02

Jesus was always involved, they should be able to

1:16:04

figure something out. This is so interesting

1:16:07

because I have deliberately

1:16:09

avoided the Trader Joe's that I went to on

1:16:11

March eleven before

1:16:14

they announced New York City was unlockdown. I

1:16:16

remember going to this Trader Joe's in

1:16:18

Tribeca and it was the bleakest

1:16:21

place. It was the bleakest New Yor experience I've ever

1:16:23

had where it was just like, oh, there's

1:16:25

hundreds of people here, nothing's on the

1:16:28

shelves, everyone's panicked,

1:16:31

and like this is this is the saddest

1:16:33

experience I've had in this city. And then I've never gone

1:16:35

back, and I don't think I ever will. Don't

1:16:38

return. Yeah, ye had trauma, But

1:16:40

unless I have an experience like Bridger where I go

1:16:42

back and I see things and I'm like,

1:16:44

wow, this is what I've this is the closure

1:16:46

I needed. It might be it

1:16:49

also is kind of a you know, it's just a jolt

1:16:51

to the system, just a little spark,

1:16:54

like a weird emotional spark you're not gonna find anywhere

1:16:56

else. That's the place for

1:16:59

it. If I want to feel something right,

1:17:01

It's like seeing a dead loved one

1:17:03

brought back to life. I think

1:17:05

that's as close as you're gonna get. It's going to

1:17:08

when people die, they're sold out. That's a little

1:17:11

culture. When

1:17:13

people die out, we're

1:17:17

out of this item. We're

1:17:20

out of this. When

1:17:23

people die, you can't find him anywhere. So

1:17:26

my daughter wants one for Christmas.

1:17:33

Sold out a grandma this year. Anyways,

1:17:36

Bowen, I don't have my phone because it's charging.

1:17:39

Do you mind sort of timing yourself

1:17:41

because I'm actually like, I

1:17:43

don't know what When you said you had so honey,

1:17:45

I got the chills. I was so excited.

1:17:48

It's not gonna be that good. I'm it's not going

1:17:50

to be great. It's just I happen to be prepared for once.

1:17:52

That's all less excited. Now, okay, can

1:17:54

you can you announce for me? This is Bowen Yanks.

1:17:57

I don't think so honey, and his time starts now.

1:17:59

I don't think a honey. Immunity

1:18:01

tablets, immunity councils, vitamin C,

1:18:03

specifically airborne. You

1:18:06

had a chance to stop this

1:18:08

whole pandemic from happening if

1:18:10

you really fucking work. I

1:18:12

don't care what kind of virus it is.

1:18:15

If if there's a cartoon man on a plane

1:18:17

going, oh, there, coffin next to me, I better

1:18:20

pop this pill, it would have stopped

1:18:22

the pandemic. If if if there's a cartoon man

1:18:24

who is saying, I better take an airborne,

1:18:27

you better hope that it works and gets

1:18:29

what it didn't. You had a moment, you had an opportunity.

1:18:32

You did not rise to the occasion. Airborne

1:18:34

invented by a school teacher. Yeah, she's

1:18:36

just stuck to grading papers.

1:18:41

You know what, Airborne gave

1:18:43

us a that

1:18:46

sickness could be managed before

1:18:48

at the onset of symptoms. And yet

1:18:51

look at where we are now. People are still dying.

1:18:54

We're starting to get COVID treatments. Thank

1:18:56

you, sir, But I

1:18:59

don't know. Air Born really could have stopped

1:19:01

this whole thing from happening. That's one minute go

1:19:03

off. If Airborne

1:19:06

worked, we would not be in this

1:19:08

situation. I hadn't even thought of

1:19:10

this until now. You're so right.

1:19:13

If Airborne was what it purported

1:19:16

to me, we wouldn't be

1:19:18

dealing with the worst health crisis

1:19:20

in our lifetime. It's

1:19:23

a delicious drink, but

1:19:26

is that enough? So

1:19:31

why do I have that if it's going to do the same

1:19:33

thing, not heal me? And sometimes

1:19:36

you don't have a drink mix you've

1:19:38

got an Airborne throw it in there. Where

1:19:40

do you have Airborne and not sprite? All

1:19:43

the time, I said what home all

1:19:46

the time? I just think,

1:19:48

egency Airborne, they really

1:19:51

could have stopped this. I put the blame

1:19:53

on them. Do you do you think do

1:19:55

you think they do anything or do you think it's placebo?

1:19:58

Culture. I don't know. Oh,

1:20:00

I mean I took one today because I feel

1:20:02

maybe a little I'm just tired. But I'm like, you're

1:20:05

run down and run down. But um, we'll

1:20:07

see if it if it if it goes south,

1:20:09

then I'll let you know. But if it helps,

1:20:11

will you be honest? Will be honest? I

1:20:14

will, I promise. What supplements are you two

1:20:16

taking? I'm very curious what's like a normal

1:20:19

day's supplement for you to? Okay, So

1:20:21

so what I what I put in my body every

1:20:23

single day is my prep. I

1:20:26

do um a vitamin D because I'm

1:20:28

actually like when I don't go out in the sun all

1:20:30

the time, I'm actually a touch of vitamin D deficient,

1:20:33

which is shocking to me. And then I will

1:20:35

do a multi vitamin, and I do a lot of stuff.

1:20:37

I as of late, have been doing a lot of stuff

1:20:39

with my skin, like um, you know that

1:20:42

sort of thing. But though that's really it for me.

1:20:44

Skin stuff supplements for your skin, like

1:20:48

ointments and like ointments, and I'll

1:20:50

do like serums and I'm I'm

1:20:52

some for some reason including it in this banner, Yeah,

1:20:55

one qualifies a supplement. People

1:20:57

take it back, but

1:21:00

and what about you what are your supplements, and make sure

1:21:02

to be really specific that their supplements, because it's

1:21:04

not it's because Matt sucked it up,

1:21:06

because don't be like me. No,

1:21:10

uh, Pure for Men actually makes this men's

1:21:12

multi vitem and now, oh interesting,

1:21:15

it's lovely. Are you shipping hard? Um?

1:21:17

It doesn't. I don't think it has fiber in it. I

1:21:19

just think they just happened to have this, like they've

1:21:23

expanded their product line, and um,

1:21:25

you know, I'm really liking it. And

1:21:28

uh, that's about it. My doctor took me off

1:21:30

prep because he was saying that it sucked with my It

1:21:32

sucked with my like liver enzymes

1:21:34

or something

1:21:38

nothing, and I'm just basically like not

1:21:40

having sex. He

1:21:43

didn't give any hope for anything

1:21:45

for renewal. No, I mean maybe maybe

1:21:48

yes, maybe he was just for now, let's just like monitor

1:21:50

this. And I was like, okay, fine, but sorry,

1:21:53

you might have to be like, hey, do you have

1:21:55

a CondoMania?

1:22:00

What is that? I don't use one? Since

1:22:04

what about you, Bridger? What are your supplements? I mean

1:22:06

I'm asking because this morning I took just

1:22:08

a generic vitamin and I thought these

1:22:10

two might know something about supplements. I

1:22:12

just don't know that I believe in them. I've been taking. I

1:22:14

don't think this vitamins are doing anything for me, but

1:22:17

I'm taking that. I'm taking fiber, and

1:22:19

that I'm taking uh. I just recently got

1:22:21

some I can't remember what it is for, like hair

1:22:24

and nails kind

1:22:26

of courts I'm swallowing condoms.

1:22:30

The hair and nails don't do that.

1:22:32

But then you google it and of course everyone

1:22:35

says, oh, it's all bullshit. But

1:22:37

I don't want to. I can't live in that world. I need to

1:22:39

know. I need to have something at the beginning of the day

1:22:41

that feels like I'm doing something. My

1:22:43

vitamin D levels got better when I started

1:22:45

taking vitamin D. I want to say that. Okay,

1:22:48

well and my iconic doctor

1:22:51

um who knows who she is, and

1:22:53

listen to this podcast. I think, Okay,

1:22:58

thank you for putting me on vitamin D because my vitamin

1:23:00

D went up. Okay, it's that simple. There you go. But

1:23:03

this is this is basically

1:23:05

what it is. Bridget. It's like, I don't know if this

1:23:08

is doing anything for me, and

1:23:11

crazy that you would market this product when let's

1:23:15

just see like it could have

1:23:17

stopped this. It

1:23:20

could have stopped it in its tracks.

1:23:23

Yes, when I think, when I think about

1:23:25

the tragedies of the

1:23:27

last year and a half two years, I

1:23:30

blame Airborne absolutely,

1:23:33

and of course that Cheetah, let's

1:23:37

blame. I do love imagining,

1:23:40

like all of the alternative if all

1:23:42

of these cures that have been peddled had been replaced

1:23:44

with airborne, if that was like what Rogan was

1:23:47

encouraging people to, just mixing

1:23:49

some airborne. No one ever, no

1:23:51

one ever goes to airborne.

1:23:53

You find at the office, you feel under

1:23:55

the weather, and you're like, sure, sure,

1:23:58

Aaron Rodgers was doing all the Airborne he

1:24:02

expected. It's worth Shelene. Shelene and Aaron,

1:24:04

we're both doing airborne. Okay, I don't know. I guess

1:24:07

I have to be down on Shelene again. The

1:24:09

roller coaster, with the roller coaster, with that one since

1:24:11

since she appeared in my life, Well

1:24:14

that's the story of the dam credit

1:24:16

coaster. So up and down, she's

1:24:19

your she's your River's Cuomo Bridgers,

1:24:22

I don't think so, honey, I think so too.

1:24:25

I'm so excited, Bridge, Are you ready? I

1:24:27

have so many things I could do, but I'm

1:24:29

going to do one that uh We're

1:24:31

just gonna do it, and everyone's gonna be

1:24:33

mad at me. No, I hope so because

1:24:35

that you know what that means more clicks for us. I

1:24:38

hope that. I hope that this is really You're

1:24:40

not going that they're gonna be like, what are

1:24:42

you talking? But actually, forget it. People

1:24:45

need to hear this. Yes, let's

1:24:47

do it. This is Bridger Wine guards. I don't think

1:24:49

so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so,

1:24:51

honey. The dead bird I found

1:24:53

in my backyard this morning. I'm

1:24:56

sorry, but if you're going to be a bird

1:24:59

in my backyard, you can be

1:25:01

maybe dying and I can nurse you

1:25:03

back to health or but you need to

1:25:05

be alive and singing. I found a

1:25:07

dead bird, which I then had to

1:25:10

pick up with a garden a garden spade,

1:25:13

you do. I don't have time for a bird burial.

1:25:15

And also my dog's gonna find it if I bury in

1:25:17

the backyard. So what I'm what am I doing?

1:25:19

I'm walking to the trash can and dropping

1:25:21

a bird in the trash you can.

1:25:24

I'm maybe this is more of a no,

1:25:26

thank you, sweetheart, but I do not want

1:25:29

no one should have to deal with a dead bird in their backyard.

1:25:31

It's not unacceptable, and the

1:25:34

fact that I had to go through that this morning is

1:25:36

unheard of. If I find if another

1:25:38

dead bird ends up in my backyard, then I have a problem.

1:25:40

Is there a toxic gas? What am I doing?

1:25:43

I don't think so, honey. I think that,

1:25:46

and that's one minute, and I think what you're dealing with

1:25:48

is um toxic gas in your backyard.

1:25:52

I might be or a

1:25:54

cat brought it back, maybe a raccoon strangled

1:25:57

it to death. There was no sign of

1:25:59

real trauma, so I don't It feels like the bird dropped

1:26:01

from the sky into that sold out

1:26:04

by the way, was

1:26:07

completely sold out. Bro. I

1:26:10

would have done the same thing. I would have dropped it in the trash

1:26:12

and it's fine. I felt bad not burying

1:26:15

it, but I don't know

1:26:17

if you were never gonna be buried. Can I say

1:26:20

something? It literally?

1:26:22

You probably handled it with more care than

1:26:24

it would have been handled

1:26:26

by nature. I don'ould have had that

1:26:29

thing decomposing on the side of the road,

1:26:31

and that's facts

1:26:34

a coyote dinner, you know, But

1:26:36

you think that's better than being plopped in a garbage

1:26:38

can, dying of natural causes and a gorgeous

1:26:40

man's backyard in Los Angeles

1:26:43

backyard. I would rather be when

1:26:46

I die devoured by coyotes than put in a

1:26:48

trash can. Well put that out there. I want

1:26:50

that on record. Well, you and I do not have

1:26:52

that in common. Put me in the damn

1:26:55

simple human trash can Why

1:26:57

don't you? Yeah? Yeah,

1:26:59

I to sell out in my bed

1:27:01

as an old man. That's how I want

1:27:04

to sell out. I want to sell

1:27:06

out of natural causes.

1:27:08

We're not using sell out

1:27:10

as a replacement for as

1:27:12

a as a synonym for dying not

1:27:16

available, honey, check

1:27:18

later. Can I just say

1:27:21

something else that I wanted to say and then you don't?

1:27:24

Do you want to do another? I don't think so, honey. Do you want to be the first

1:27:26

person ever do too? Absolutely not.

1:27:29

I want to have a nice adult discussion

1:27:31

about something that is insidious

1:27:33

and very subtle in advertising right now

1:27:35

and on the restaurant menus everything.

1:27:38

Let's talk the in

1:27:40

front of things, the cob salad.

1:27:44

My breaking point was the other day I was walking through Target

1:27:46

and I saw the golf pant.

1:27:50

Target doesn't have the golf

1:27:52

pant anyway. Have you noticed this? Have

1:27:54

you seen. It's

1:27:57

like this bizarre like trying to be definitive

1:27:59

but of casual because it's the it's

1:28:03

the lies,

1:28:06

it's lies, it's

1:28:10

we have to start. It drives me out

1:28:12

of my mind. Keep an ear out for this.

1:28:15

Someone has referred to someone else, I don't know

1:28:17

who, but someone was like, they're amazing, they're

1:28:20

the article.

1:28:25

They're they're the one, you know. Like so

1:28:27

I think that's that's the way of saying they're so exceptional

1:28:31

that they're the article. I'm

1:28:33

like, oh my god, no,

1:28:35

no, no, no, no, you love

1:28:38

it. I can see your face right now, you're smarting. No, I

1:28:40

reject it. I'm

1:28:43

having you're seeing a visceral responses.

1:28:45

I quote it back to you, and

1:28:48

I think this is what's happening with the adding of

1:28:50

the like the golf pan It's like, wait,

1:28:53

like, what is this obsession with There can

1:28:55

only be there's one and this is

1:28:57

it and you and you love it and you reckon

1:29:00

nice it as the golf pants, right,

1:29:02

the platonic version of

1:29:05

you know, the whatever the chicken

1:29:07

sandwich the article

1:29:09

though, that is going to be

1:29:12

comic fourth that's going six months

1:29:14

from now. Just just just look out for

1:29:16

it and both of you. Just stay safe out there.

1:29:19

Well, I think we can agree that Bridger

1:29:22

is the article morning,

1:29:27

how do I become the

1:29:29

article? But you didn't even have to

1:29:31

cry because you came in here today the

1:29:33

last culture. You were the article. You

1:29:37

are the You are the You are the

1:29:39

number one. And we

1:29:41

want people to listen

1:29:43

to the podcast. I said no gifts, the

1:29:46

I said no gifts, I

1:29:48

said no guests the podcast. So

1:29:50

do you have a problem with Megan the Stallion? Sounds like

1:29:52

you do. Know it's a double e. If

1:29:57

it was the Megan Stallion, no

1:30:00

have an issue, everyone will be extremely confused.

1:30:03

Maybe that's a nice next step for her. Yeah,

1:30:06

maybe you're right, a little switch real prince status.

1:30:09

Right, Yeah, that's right, the Megan

1:30:11

stall Yes, Bowen,

1:30:14

what an episode of The Last Coach. This was Bridger.

1:30:16

Thank you so much for coming on. This

1:30:18

is a delightful conversation. Thank

1:30:21

you for having me. I'm sorry to

1:30:23

almost, you know, to just bring up

1:30:25

a second complaint outside of the Dead

1:30:27

Bird. No, but

1:30:29

that I did feel like this, if there's ever gonna be a

1:30:31

platform that we can take that trend down,

1:30:33

this is this is the place where it begins. And

1:30:36

we did it sold out everyone listening,

1:30:38

sell out, the in

1:30:41

front of things on menus on

1:30:44

you know, catalogs, all of it. We don't

1:30:46

want that. Call your senator now, stay

1:30:48

in line. Call your senator,

1:30:51

especially if you're an Arizona. Call up Kirsten Cinema

1:30:53

up. She can get it done. She

1:30:56

can, all right. We end every episode

1:30:58

with the song Yes we do. Beverly

1:31:03

where Aday,

1:31:06

gimme gimme living

1:31:11

devily ha rullingle

1:31:17

straight singing this for more of that song. Listened

1:31:19

to Beverly Hills on Make Believe by

1:31:21

Wheezer By