In this episode, I speak with Whole Body Coach, Alyssa Keegan. Growing up in rural Michigan, Alyssa Keegan was working as a professional actor and voiceover artist. Alyssa got married and had a son, identifying during that period of their life as monogamous, straight and cis. Yet when Alyssa began their poly journey, they came to know their true self— polyamorous, pansexual, queer, kinky and gender non-conforming. When the pandemic hit and Alyssa lost their acting career, they decided to make a shift and dedicate their life to supporting others who found themselves questioning their identity and relationships later in life.

Alyssa takes us on their journey of self-attachment and self-love and how they became attuned to their reactions with their partners that came from a place of trauma response. Alyssa talks about falling apart and hitting rock bottom, but at the bottom, seeing that they were still there and that they would be okay. “I had practiced proving to my body that I was going to show up and take care of it. I was going to sit with the parts of myself, the little parts of myself, the defensive parts of myself and tell them all they were welcome there.”

In speaking about their clients, they say, “Letting the mind relax for a time is so informative, particularly when it comes to issues of insecurity, jealousy, or possessiveness. Whether you’re a client who is coming to me because you’re in a monogamous structure or a consensually non- monogamous structure, the foundation of every healthy relationship comes back to that relationship with yourself.”

Highlights from Alyssa:

" I teach my clients that from a scientific perspective, that the oldest part of our brain is rooted in your nervous system. And understanding that and being able to listen to that more really helps us uncover these parts of ourselves that need attention that we cognitively don't necessarily understand."

"I was chased down and held down and and I really had to wrestle with the fact that as a bipolar parent, he was the best parent in the world when he was up. And he was violent and abusive when he was down. And so I loved him deeply, and sought his excitement and his attention. And then he would turn into a monster. "

" I ask myself if I am slipping into the delicious desire of having somebody else take care of all of my problems. Because it's so enticing to have somebody else just to dump everything on. Which is not to say that you can't rely on other people— sure, from a perspective of secure attachment. You rely on them from a healthy space, knowing that you've got yourself and they can lend a hand. Not that it's their job to take care of you."

Don't Miss a Beat.
Follow my Instagram for news from me, Tara Beckett:
https://www.instagram.com/letperfectburn/

Alyssa Keegan's Work:
https://universalethicallove.com/

Alyssa's Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/therealalyssakeegan/

Original Music for Let Perfect Burn by Eleri Ward
https://www.instagram.com/eleriward/