0:01

Hello, and before we get into

0:03

tonight's epic rant cast, I just

0:05

wanted to catch you up

0:07

on the final shows I'll be doing in

0:10

2023, the last three. This

0:12

week, I will be in Stewart,

0:14

Florida on Wednesday at the

0:17

Lyric Theater, followed by Thursday

0:19

in St.

0:21

Petersburg at the Mahaffey, Friday

0:24

at the

0:26

Florida Theater in Jacksonville, Florida, and that

0:28

will be it. And

0:30

I hope you can join me if you can. And

0:33

then we will begin on January 18th

0:36

in the Golden State Theater

0:38

in Monterey, California, on the

0:40

19th in Santa Barbara, and

0:42

on the 20th in

0:45

Santa Barbara, we'll be at the Lobrero Theater, a

0:47

beautiful, small theater there that's

0:49

really a pleasure to play always. We

0:52

end up in Anaheim, California

0:54

at the City National Grove

0:57

of Anaheim. It's

1:00

a theater. I promise you it's not

1:02

a bank. And we,

1:04

or maybe the City National Grove,

1:06

who knows? But

1:09

that's where I'll be, and I've

1:11

performed there before. And remember,

1:13

we're wrapping things up. This is it. And

1:16

I will be back in a

1:18

moment with this week's epic Rantcast.

1:25

This could all go horribly

1:28

wrong at any minute. All

1:30

right, that's the moment. Here

1:32

I am again. And

1:34

I want to welcome you to

1:36

the 157th

1:39

episode of Lewis Black's

1:42

Rantcast, entitled, Dictator

1:45

for a Day. Yes,

1:47

that's Dick Tater. That's spelled

1:49

D-I-C-K. It

1:52

could be spelled Tater, T-A-T-E-R. But

1:57

it's Dick for sure. as

2:00

many of you may or may not have

2:02

heard, the delightful Donald

2:06

Trump running for the

2:08

presidency has declared that he would just

2:10

be a dictator for the

2:12

first day that he's in office. And

2:14

I cannot fucking believe people

2:17

don't stand up enraged by

2:19

that type of a comment.

2:21

It's beyond belief because

2:23

he is pushing in that direction.

2:26

And I know that some things seem to be over

2:28

the top in the way in which many

2:31

folks out there describing what

2:33

he's got set up. I don't know. I

2:36

really don't know. But I do know that you

2:40

shouldn't be, if you're running for

2:42

the president, talking about being

2:44

the dictator for a day.

2:46

It's unbelievable, unconscionable, stupid. And

2:48

it's like dealing with, it's

2:51

like dealing with a, it's

2:54

always been like dealing with a ninth grader

2:57

who's got some kind of a problem.

2:59

I'm tired of it. And I'm fed up and

3:01

I'm sick of them. Literally

3:04

everybody kind of standing by

3:07

and letting him pull this

3:09

nonsense, okay? Because

3:12

of their fear of whatever. It's

3:14

ludicrous. You get him

3:16

to grow the fuck up, all

3:18

right? And I would love

3:20

to hear what it is that people

3:23

that have kind of gotten,

3:25

that you seem to be enamored

3:27

with him on a certain level, but things

3:29

that he did, what did he do? Please

3:32

tell me what he did, okay? Just

3:34

give me a

3:36

summary of it. Someone write it in.

3:38

If you have a friend

3:41

who can explain it to me, explain it

3:43

to me, because I do not understand what

3:46

it was that in

3:48

his presidency that made them go

3:51

eighth for him. And once

3:54

he was done, I thought this has got to be it.

3:58

He helped the rich get richer. Well, that's great. What

4:00

did he do? What did he

4:03

do for the common

4:05

man? All right. What

4:08

did he do for them? Okay, what

4:10

did exactly was it that

4:13

was done that was so fucking the wall.

4:15

He's that's what he's talking about. I'm gonna be dictated for a

4:18

day. I want to build a wall. Come

4:20

on already. We need

4:22

to have some form of

4:26

immigration reform

4:28

and immigrant policy created

4:31

by Democrats and Republicans sitting

4:33

down and figuring it the fuck out. All

4:36

right. And if it's a wall, it's a wall,

4:39

but it's certainly lunacy.

4:43

I'm going to build a wall and

4:45

I want to drill, drill, drill. Well, it

4:47

turns out that the

4:51

ghost of Christmas past, Joe Biden

4:55

is basically drilled more than any

4:57

other president is drilled. What?

5:00

That's it. That's what he wants to do. And

5:03

he does want to from everything. I mean,

5:07

he's unbelievable. He's

5:09

talking about shooting

5:11

shoplifters. Hello. Hello,

5:13

America. Please.

5:16

No, he's not. Look,

5:18

I mean, seriously. Even

5:21

if he doesn't mean it, then

5:23

shut up. If he doesn't mean it, shut

5:25

the fuck up. There's a whole list of

5:27

shit I could read. But

5:30

it's ludicrous. You've all heard it. And

5:33

so is the book that even if even the

5:35

folks who love him have heard it and

5:37

seem to get a big kick out of it.

5:40

Well, enough fucking enough. All

5:42

right. This is not what we're about.

5:44

This is not who we are. All

5:46

right. We're dumb as posts. That's

5:48

for sure. We're idiots

5:51

on certain levels. That's for

5:53

sure. But we are not people

5:56

who believe that you you shoot shoplifters

5:58

in the back. All right. All right?

6:00

And then there's a whole debate about how much

6:03

shoplifting is being done. I certainly

6:05

don't know, but they're hiring everything in the

6:07

stores. All right? You know, why

6:09

don't you do that? Why don't you figure out

6:12

how to do, make sure that that

6:14

stuff is actually, you

6:16

know, that people can get it without

6:19

there being a problem other than

6:21

going down shoplifters.

6:24

I mean, come on! Seriously.

6:28

And he's, and that's it. And

6:31

they, boy, he's leading like

6:33

crazy in Iowa, and we'll see

6:36

what happens, you know? We

6:38

certainly see, we'll see what happens there. And

6:41

I'm just about

6:43

had it in terms of this.

6:48

It's beyond belief to

6:50

me that, well, you

6:52

know, it doesn't really matter if he's convicted. Yes,

6:54

it does. You

6:56

know, and it's tiresome and

6:59

it's exhausting, and there's

7:01

a reason they're 91 indictments, whether people

7:03

want to believe it or fucking not.

7:06

Okay? We have a justice

7:09

system that continues to go and move

7:11

and do the things that have to

7:13

be done by civil servants, people

7:16

who have sacrificed in order to work

7:18

for the federal government and not to

7:20

make a million dollars suing because somebody

7:22

got in an accident. All right, son

7:26

of a bitch. And he's

7:28

the guy who got the

7:31

Supreme Court, you know, packed

7:33

with these folks who gave

7:35

us, gave the, you

7:37

know, ended up destroying Roe versus

7:39

Wade so that the states could

7:41

decide, so that the state of

7:43

Texas this week, and

7:46

I'm not gonna stop yelling the way

7:48

it looks because this week was bullshit

7:50

and intolerable. A woman in Texas, you've

7:52

all heard this story probably, and am

7:54

I gonna repeat it? Yeah, because it

7:56

deserves to be repeated. Okay?

8:00

hold her that she's

8:02

going to give birth to a baby

8:04

that is dead, and

8:06

also could fuck with her

8:08

health and possibly kill her.

8:11

But just if the baby was born dead,

8:14

you don't bring it to term. Talk

8:17

about trauma. To be every

8:19

night to go to sleep knowing that what

8:21

is growing inside you is going to die

8:23

before it gets out. What the

8:26

fuck is the matter with them in Texas? So

8:29

the states, and so the appellate

8:31

court, I guess, in

8:33

Texas, the one below the Supreme

8:36

Court says, nope, you got to save

8:38

the mother's life because that's what you're

8:40

fucking up to. This

8:42

is a health issue. Okay? This

8:44

isn't an abortion issue. It's

8:47

about the mother's health. It's why

8:49

this shit is crazy. And so

8:51

the attorney general there, who's

8:53

been like, you know,

8:56

basically was involved in a number of things

8:59

that they should have nailed him for, but

9:01

they didn't. He says,

9:03

takes it to the Supreme Court, the Supreme Court

9:06

says, nope, you can't, no, no, you're

9:08

going to have to take that

9:10

baby to term, even though your life is at

9:12

risk. Where do these people get off? How

9:15

do you put somebody through that? So they

9:18

have to flee the state to

9:20

get it done. It's

9:22

really beyond my fucking

9:24

comprehension. It really is.

9:26

And do you make jokes about it? No, I'm not

9:28

going to make a joke about it. All

9:31

right? Where are the

9:33

adults in Texas? Where, why don't,

9:35

you know, how

9:37

is it even possible, you

9:40

know, that you put this person in

9:42

this position, this poor, this,

9:46

really this poor woman is what it

9:48

is. And I'm not, and that's not

9:50

an adjective about her. It's

9:53

just in terms of her economic

9:55

level, because if she was poor, she couldn't

9:57

get out of the fucking state. How good

9:59

is that? How many of them

10:01

are stuck there dealing with health

10:03

issues? Oh, please, grow

10:06

the fuck up. This country

10:09

has to grow the fuck up. It's

10:11

ludicrous that we live

10:14

like this at this point, that

10:16

every day we're being bashed by shit that

10:18

you just go, all right, come on. And

10:22

meanwhile, there's the

10:24

Bibi Netanyahu I've never liked,

10:26

never, ever, ever. And

10:28

I made a decision a long time ago, as long as

10:31

he was in office, I was never going to go to

10:33

Israel, and I've never been there. But

10:36

I have to say, from

10:39

the very beginning, I said that this was a war

10:42

between him and Hamas. And

10:44

that's who's basically involved with

10:47

this. And he, it turns out, first

10:49

off, we find out that

10:51

it took hours upon hours upon

10:53

hours for them to respond

10:57

to the initial what

10:59

would be invasion. They didn't, they're yelling

11:01

about this, and it took

11:04

them hours to respond. Is somebody fucking

11:06

home? You

11:08

know, I've thought from the beginning,

11:10

that's fucking suspicious. And

11:13

then it turns out that he, the

11:15

Israeli government under him, had been

11:18

giving money to Hamas in

11:21

hopes that it would keep them calm.

11:24

They were giving them money through Qatar, Qatar.

11:27

And the hopes

11:30

was, the hope was that that

11:32

would, you know, make Hamas,

11:35

you know, basically deal with

11:37

the problems there and in

11:41

Palestine. But beyond, I, and

11:44

then they, well, figure it out. Figure

11:47

out what they did with the money. Wow,

11:50

it's just, it

11:53

leaves you breathless. And,

11:55

you know, in the world of, I

11:57

mean, he's like a baby. Trump

12:01

in a way that was this

12:04

Gave him the excuse to destroy. He didn't

12:06

want a two-state solution So

12:09

this allows him to wipe out the other

12:11

state. Are you fucking serious? So

12:15

this because this sets it all up

12:18

So that he could go ahead and do that so

12:20

that they could continue to fill up,

12:22

you know, the villages there I guess

12:24

I don't know but it sure the

12:26

fuck seems like it. I've

12:28

never trusted him Not once

12:30

not as far as you get thrown and

12:33

a lot of it might have to do with that

12:35

He was under indictment. So we got to these two

12:38

slaps Fucking unbelievable and

12:40

I don't want to hear that Don't

12:42

even get right in anything about what I said

12:44

because I don't want to hear about it. Okay

12:47

Yeah, right. I don't Well,

12:50

you know getting any I don't care what

12:53

is happening. There is a tragedy.

12:55

It's epic And

12:57

it's beyond disturbing and

12:59

that we are not calling for a ceasefire

13:02

is insanity Okay,

13:05

and that's all I got to say on that.

13:07

I'm all I'm doing is yelling and screaming. This

13:09

is not good Oh, yeah, and then

13:11

I wake up this morning and I'm reading that

13:14

the tether the 1% in

13:17

the country the top 1%

13:19

has as much money as

13:23

The entire middle class of this

13:25

country the entire middle class It's

13:31

and that's that's Trump's legacy folks

13:34

He's the one who said boy, you know if we

13:36

could just get them some more money It's the whole

13:38

idea of the Republican and it boys that been spread

13:41

around, huh? That's

13:43

really working out The

13:45

same amount of money Come up.

13:48

What are you? What? How do you run an

13:50

economy like that? How do you allow it? How

13:53

do you not see that and go this is

13:55

wrong? But the problem is

13:57

is those people out there, you know who aren't

14:00

And there's you know trying to suck

14:02

the system drive. Yeah, but who's sucking

14:04

the system dry? What

14:07

did you have depth dumb and blind are

14:09

we? Okay

14:12

Well, we don't have them. Yeah, we got the money and it's

14:15

in the hands of the 1% And

14:17

you don't you know and it you have to

14:20

at some point Recognize

14:22

that especially when they have the same

14:24

amount of money is for the entire

14:26

middle class. Okay, here's the

14:28

problem Okay, it's like this right there. It

14:30

is there on us. It's on

14:33

a seesaw The 1% is

14:35

sitting down here. I mean it really

14:38

is even but my god

14:42

It is It really in

14:44

many ways since they have as much as

14:46

the middle class It's like that and

14:49

it's just a matter of them not it's

14:51

when they start jumping up and down and like that in

14:53

the middle class Will be thrown into

14:55

a god knows into the sandbox I'm

15:00

losing it now. I am losing it

15:03

It was a stunning piece of news

15:05

and then of course people well, you know, that's not really

15:07

yet It's true. Okay, or

15:09

at least it was this morning until they

15:11

tell me something else and And

15:15

then just in terms of bullshit, but

15:17

but going along with everything else the college

15:20

football Championship has

15:22

one of the schools that should

15:24

have gotten in was Florida State one

15:26

of the schools that Alabama which is

15:29

Get will have more eyeballs and everything

15:31

and it's probably and it's probably better

15:33

than Florida State in many ways Gets

15:36

in but they lost again. The

15:38

state came through the ACC where I went

15:40

to school. Okay, and came

15:43

through it without losing a game and their

15:46

quarterback was hurt and they won that game with

15:48

a third string quarterback for

15:51

crying out loud and And

15:54

it appears that they would get back their

15:57

quarterback, but by the time the champions

15:59

was being played. For God's

16:02

sake. Is

16:04

it not a Mount Kenny thing? You

16:06

know, first time that ever happened. It's

16:09

really, I just

16:11

think it was profoundly, and it's not

16:13

because I was from the ACC, I

16:15

just, and I don't even like Florida

16:17

State. I never

16:19

rooted for Florida State. And

16:22

I actually have a soft spot though for

16:24

Florida State because we did a

16:26

pilot for Comedy Central that got Kai

16:29

Bash because why? I didn't yell enough.

16:32

But we were down there for

16:35

a football weekend and those folks

16:37

deserve it. They are dedicated to

16:40

that team and to the, and

16:44

their fans on a level that

16:46

is mildly psychotic, for

16:48

sure. And they certainly know how

16:50

to have a tailgate party. And for that alone,

16:53

they should have allowed them to play for

16:55

the championship. Unbelievable. Give it to Alabama. Huh?

16:58

That's good for the kids in that program. That's

17:01

really great for them. Yeah, bust

17:03

your hump and we'll fuck you.

17:05

That's, we have really, you

17:08

know, we

17:14

give, we give trophies out

17:16

to everybody who played the game. And

17:18

when it comes to really, you know,

17:20

we're going to finally do this for

17:22

real. And you go, well, fuck you.

17:26

You should have, you should have, you

17:28

should have had your second string quarterback in there.

17:31

Would have made a difference. They want. God.

17:35

And we're all losing. Except

17:37

that Christmas is coming. And

17:39

before I go, I'm going to read you a few

17:41

things and wish you all

17:44

a happy Mary and all that jazz.

17:47

Just a few things. The

17:50

year the, this is Kentucky

17:52

man's brand new

17:54

inflatable Father Christmas was gunned

17:56

down in an apparent drive-by

17:58

shooting. Who shoots

18:01

a fucking inflatable father

18:03

Christmas who does that? I

18:06

mean that's that's one angry fuck Security

18:09

footage shows the car swinging in front

18:11

of David Nelson's Donald Nelson's home the

18:14

sound of a gunshot bringing out his $200 Santa

18:18

Sagging onto the lawn. He paid 200

18:20

bucks for inflatable Santa. Oh An

18:24

18 inch bullet hole in his chest. Nelson

18:26

said he doesn't know who'd hurt his Santa It's

18:31

it's an inflatable Santa And

18:34

now fears for neighbors with inflatables.

18:37

I mean they could be targeted as well. They certainly

18:39

could I don't know

18:41

how many inflatables are in the that

18:43

neighborhood, but Who

18:46

shoots it? Even I

18:48

who get truly irritated did

18:50

Christmas time for a lot of

18:52

reasons mainly because it You

18:55

can't get it around Midtown in

18:57

part because Rockefeller Center is a Wash

19:01

with people who want to see a

19:03

tree a Christmas tree a big fucking

19:05

tree that they could they came miles

19:07

and miles To see a tree and

19:09

they've got they live amongst trees Which

19:12

I've said this time I say it

19:14

every year that tree should be somewhere

19:16

where we New Yorkers Can go

19:18

see the tree in peace

19:20

and quiet not at Rockefeller Center?

19:23

please and finally and

19:27

Completely opposite to the way I began

19:29

this the our candidate

19:31

for the president there's someone

19:33

who ran in Renier, Washington

19:36

for the City Council and He

19:39

decided not to vote Not

19:41

to cast a ballot in the election didn't

19:44

cast a ballot and lost

19:46

to his opponent by a single vote Because

19:49

he didn't vote I didn't feel

19:52

comfortable voting for myself said Damien

19:54

Green. I thought it was kind of narcissistic

19:57

So I didn't So

20:00

that he must be a Democrat, only

20:03

a Democrat on his side in

20:05

a very tight election, not the vote for himself.

20:07

So the other person could win or maybe it's a

20:09

Republican, whoever it is. Thank you

20:12

for not being a narcissist, but I'm

20:14

sorry, you're stupid. There's no narcissism.

20:16

If you ran for the office, you got to

20:18

believe you could do it. And,

20:21

uh, and

20:23

that's what we got from here. We've got some

20:26

really fine, uh, Rance,

20:28

uh, coming your way this week. And

20:31

I want to thank everybody who keeps writing them in.

20:33

Um, I'm thinking of trying to do,

20:36

uh, when I returned

20:38

to the final run on the road, kind of

20:40

doing one each night.

20:42

Um, and, uh, we'll see

20:44

if that happens. Um, uh,

20:47

I think it may be possible. And,

20:49

uh, I want to thank you all for

20:52

continuing to, uh, to watch

20:54

the Redcast. I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't have

20:56

a funnier, uh, bits

20:59

about any of this, but I don't, um,

21:02

I'm fed up and I'm tired of it. And,

21:05

uh, so I got it off my chest

21:07

and, uh, and it's not, it

21:09

wasn't like hidden anger about anything else.

21:12

It was just, I am sick and

21:14

tired of being sick and tired of

21:16

watching. Enough is enough is enough.

21:19

Okay. We deserve better than this. We really

21:21

do. We really

21:23

do. Human

21:26

beings deserve a lot more across

21:28

the board. Please. Let's

21:32

let's let's let

21:35

the adults kind of enter the

21:37

room and let's move on with

21:39

things and, um,

21:42

and try to remember what Christmas is

21:44

all about. Okay. Because

21:47

it's, uh, it's got

21:49

its own upside and

21:51

I hope you've been having a happy Chanukah, uh,

21:54

it ends, uh, tomorrow when this,

21:56

uh, after the Redcast, I believe. Enjoy

22:00

it. I hope it's been good for all

22:02

of you. Okay. Sending

22:06

you all the best. Take

22:09

care of each other. It's what

22:11

counts. This rant

22:14

comes to us from Stacy Van Branken.

22:17

Hey, Lewis. I have rewritten this

22:19

rant a few times since there are way

22:21

too many things to complain about around here

22:24

and in the news, but I will just

22:26

rant that I'm so sick of people talking

22:28

about Joe Biden being too old to run.

22:31

Fuck that. He has the

22:33

wise old man syndrome that is needed to

22:35

run the country because he doesn't just

22:38

say the first stupid thing that comes to the

22:40

front of his mind. And he

22:42

has the ability to understand other

22:44

people's feelings. Unlike the orange would

22:46

be dictator. If he says

22:49

something wrong, he will apologize and take it

22:51

back or admit it, which

22:53

is what a real man does. A

22:55

strong man does something no one ever

22:57

taught or ever made sure 45 ever

23:00

learned, and he certainly never taught his

23:02

kids. I'm ashamed of the

23:04

news in this country. The mainstream news

23:06

seems to be stuck in a rut

23:08

as to what to do as regards

23:11

reporting on the race for the president.

23:13

I say there is still a whole

23:15

year and watch and see if Trump

23:17

ends up in jail or get someone

23:19

killed and see what else Biden can

23:21

get done before election day. I don't

23:23

want to deal election shit. I don't

23:25

want to deal with election shit for

23:28

another year, but if it

23:30

means we can peel a few more

23:32

hundred zombie five supporters away from him,

23:34

I guess we should continue to follow

23:36

him anyway, stay

23:39

healthy and see you tonight. I

23:42

don't know what night that was, but I hope

23:44

it was a good show. Thank you, Stacy. And,

23:47

uh, and I've already heard from people saying that

23:50

actually, uh, you know, Donald

23:54

Trump is, it's,

23:56

it's healthier. It's like, uh, unbelievable.

24:01

I don't... geez, who knows

24:03

God. But they

24:05

don't like him, Stace. They're not happy,

24:08

if I make all you Stace. But thank you. Thank

24:12

you for getting that out there, and I'm glad you were

24:14

able to share it. Angel

24:16

from Troy is sharing this with

24:18

us. So

24:20

many things to rant about. Jacked up

24:22

sidewalks, freaking co-workers,

24:25

motherfucking doordash. The

24:27

two words that can send me into

24:29

a blind rage. But the one thing

24:31

that has become a bane to my

24:33

existence, housing. Not

24:36

just affordable housing, even

24:38

though everyone should be able to make a house or

24:41

rent payment and still have something left

24:43

over to buy bread. I'm talking about

24:45

the simple right of everyone to have

24:47

a roof over their head. And it's

24:49

become everyone's problem. I

24:51

work for a non-profit that does

24:53

vision rehab. Our goal is

24:56

to keep people independent in their own home.

24:59

But they have to have a home.

25:01

And now we have to focus on

25:03

finding one. There

25:05

are none. Anywhere.

25:07

I want to make it clear

25:09

that blind housing is not a

25:12

thing. If you think

25:14

it is, you've watched too many episodes

25:16

of Little House on the Fucking Prairie.

25:19

I'm not an aggressive person, but I

25:21

want to tell city officials, county officials,

25:24

and state officials, fix it. You

25:27

know how annoying it is to walk

25:29

through the capital region and see building

25:31

after building after building marked with a

25:34

condemn sign? Fix

25:36

it! I don't care what

25:38

district you cover. I don't care who

25:40

you have to talk to. And I

25:42

sure as fuck don't care what your

25:45

political affiliation is. Fix

25:47

it. I used

25:49

to work for the state senate, forced

25:51

to sit through sessions where they discussed

25:54

what the dimensions of a water reservoir

25:56

should be, how many cows determine a

25:58

farm, and my family. favorite, the

26:01

proclamations. Today is officially

26:04

bowler's over 55 day.

26:07

Put that shit on the website and

26:09

move on. Whether you're an 80 year

26:12

old blind man in a wheelchair or

26:14

a woman who moved to the US

26:16

and lost the house she made payments

26:18

on for 30 years or a family

26:20

with three kids until 10. You

26:24

have the right to sleep under

26:26

a roof. Just

26:29

fix it. Thank

26:32

you, Angel. That's true

26:34

and true and true and true and

26:36

it should be a portion of what

26:38

they spend the time doing now because

26:41

it's an urgent problem every fucking where

26:43

I go. It's unbelievable. I

26:47

mean I'll say it again and again. How do

26:50

you come out of a pandemic and you're worse

26:52

off? It's astonishing. Well I

26:54

appreciate you taking the time to

26:56

get that off to me. And

26:59

that Troy once again I'll say great

27:01

theater, great

27:03

theater, great audience and

27:06

you were there. Thank you. An

27:08

important piece of mind coming to us

27:10

from Susan Gugins. So

27:13

the media bashes teachers, the

27:16

public bashes teachers and surprise.

27:19

No one goes into teaching anymore.

27:21

I can't take a sick day

27:24

because there is no substitute to

27:26

cover my class. My co-teachers mother

27:28

passed away and I had to

27:30

teach both of our classes together

27:32

by myself because no one wants

27:35

to be a teacher. Why would we?

27:38

Across the nation they

27:40

are underpaid, yep, undervalued,

27:42

yep and underappreciated. I

27:45

have a master's degree and beyond and yet

27:47

I am questioned every day about what I

27:49

do and how I do it. Teachers

27:51

are micromanaged by those who

27:53

know little to nothing about

27:55

education. Help!

28:00

I get it, Susan. I

28:02

get it. It's kind

28:04

of drifted downhill since I was

28:07

a kid, the respect for the

28:09

profession, the financing of the profession,

28:12

the complete misunderstanding by people

28:14

of what is needed to

28:16

make the

28:19

profession that is attractive to people and want

28:21

us to keep these idiots who just discovered

28:23

that there's a PTA and they can put

28:25

in their two cents. And

28:27

now we've got 12 million

28:29

kinds of behavioral problems, each

28:32

of them that can move you up in

28:34

terms of the amount of attention your child

28:36

gets. Are you shitting me? Wow.

28:40

I'm amazed people still want to do it. And

28:42

thank you, Susan. As they say, thank you for

28:44

your service. For

28:46

a teacher, we have to say that now. When

28:51

I was... Well, stop it. I'm not kidding. I

28:53

had to be kidding. Shut up, Lewis. You

28:56

said it, Susan, and you said it well. Thanks.

28:59

And this comes from her husband, David

29:02

Gugins. If two of

29:04

the latest diatribes by Marjorie Taylor

29:06

Greene don't scream for the renewal

29:08

of social studies slash civics being

29:10

taught in the school, I don't

29:12

know what does. The idea

29:14

that a member of Congress doesn't

29:16

understand where the FBI is or

29:19

is not housed is sad. But

29:22

not being aware of how a bill becomes

29:24

a law is terrifying.

29:28

Yep, it is, David. But nobody seems... There's certainly

29:30

in her district, nobody seems to give a shit,

29:32

do they? And

29:34

we do have to teach civics again across

29:37

the boards, everywhere. I don't know how that

29:39

slips out of the curriculum. And

29:41

then you wonder, gee, I wonder why people are

29:43

trying to overthrow the government. Well, because they don't

29:45

know what the fucking government is. All

29:48

right? And it'll scare the kids. We

29:50

don't want them to have to memorize shit. Fuck

29:53

this. God damn it. It's

29:55

just tiring. And I'm swearing

29:58

too much. I am swearing too much. much.

30:01

Thanks David. Tom Stroh

30:03

I wanna thank you for sharing this with

30:05

us. I think

30:07

you folks will enjoy this. I'm sick

30:10

and fucking tired of commercials. I

30:12

know where sucks to. What other

30:14

uber original gripes do I have to drop on

30:16

you? But I don't know if it's

30:19

a function of my aging or if the world

30:21

is just getting shittier and shittier with the entropic

30:23

spiral of time. It's a

30:25

perfect shitstorm of volume, pandering, and

30:28

this obsession with finding the

30:30

most annoyingly irritating noises, personalities,

30:32

and songs. Let's

30:35

start with the volume. This is

30:37

where networks and their masters, the

30:39

advertisers, are clearly in collusion. If

30:41

I recall correctly, there's a limit to

30:44

how loud an advert can be. Thusly,

30:47

the marketing fuckheads circumvent this

30:49

limitation by keeping the volume

30:51

of programming at a certain

30:53

level, say 8, and

30:55

then having the commercials come on at

30:57

fucking 11. I mean, for

31:00

their purposes, it makes sense. They

31:03

know you're probably gonna run and take a

31:05

leak or go grab something from the fridge,

31:07

so they want you to hear their cloying

31:09

shit so that it embeds

31:11

in your brain. And the next

31:13

time you're standing at the supermarket

31:16

aisle, we're choosing an insurance provider

31:18

with your brain, which has

31:21

been expertly washed by their

31:23

machinations. We'll focus on their

31:25

product. This is

31:27

pure fuck evil. It's

31:29

manipulation. It's violation. It's

31:32

ear rape. And the fact that

31:34

we're not securing these fucks is

31:38

infuriating. The fact that

31:40

we passively accept so much violation

31:42

from these greedy fucks who think

31:44

they run out of society is

31:46

infuriating. So why does

31:48

this surprise me? I

31:50

like to watch reruns of The Office or

31:52

the occasional sporting event. I like to have

31:54

them on in the background. While my wife

31:56

and I sit

31:59

and enjoy the show. our evening.

32:01

Sip a cup of coffee or tea,

32:04

peruse our news feeds, etc. So

32:06

we keep the volume at a level

32:08

that allows us to hear dialogue, etc.

32:11

Oh, oh wait, it's it's

32:13

hard to hear. We turn

32:15

it up to a reasonable level,

32:18

then cut to the commercial. Whopper,

32:20

whopper, whopper, whopper, suck my ass

32:22

and buy a whopper. I will

32:24

drill this offkey jingle into your

32:27

brain at BK. Have it your

32:29

way. You suck. I was

32:32

gonna sing it but I don't want to ruin

32:34

everything. It's already horrifying. And

32:37

every jingle, every song is seemingly

32:40

engineered to be as annoying as

32:42

fuck. It's like every

32:44

contemporary tune has harnessed the

32:47

spirit of Little John screaming,

32:49

yeah, okay. I

32:51

know that's how dated my references are,

32:53

possibly supporting the notion that I'm too

32:55

old and I'm just shaking my fist

32:58

at the whippersnappers trampling my

33:00

lawn. Fuck you. They're

33:03

not trampling your lawn, they're trampling your brain.

33:05

Okay, it's a big difference and

33:07

it's got nothing to do with age. That's a

33:09

fact. And the characters, I

33:12

want to watch the Wendy's people

33:14

and the progressive insurance people get

33:16

eaten by lions while the Cologuard

33:19

shit-in-the-box people are disemboweled to the

33:21

tune of my way. So I

33:24

clamor for the remote to lower

33:26

the volume or mute. Invariably the

33:28

program comes back on and I

33:30

can't hear shit. So I raise

33:32

the volume and the

33:35

cycle continues. But

33:37

I have a theory. Stay with me here. This

33:39

is how people like Donald fucking

33:41

Trump get elected. This is why

33:44

our country is a scheming pile

33:46

of shit. This is

33:48

why we accept scumlickers like

33:50

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Mitch McConnell.

33:52

This is why we don't guillotine

33:55

our masters because our healthcare

33:57

system is a steaming pile

33:59

of bullshit. for-profit smegma.

34:05

I'd never heard smegma in

34:08

a use as

34:10

a critical criticism

34:14

of the healthcare system.

34:16

We're being beaten orally

34:19

into a submissive ectoplasm

34:21

of passive goo. We

34:23

are taking this shit as normal. This

34:26

is just one of the myriad signposts pointing

34:30

to the fact that we, as a

34:33

culture, are bopped.

34:37

Thank you, Tom. That was fun to read. I

34:39

hope it was fun for you. I

34:41

hope it was fun for the rest of you out there. And

34:44

for those of you who have trouble with

34:46

the references from time to time to the

34:49

Republicans, then write back

34:51

your references to Democrats and don't then

34:53

whine online about the fact that there

34:56

doesn't seem to be a, you know,

34:58

how could you do it? They're going to be doing

35:00

that because there's nothing here for

35:03

me to read for you. All right. And if

35:05

you and then if you know, and since you're

35:07

not having me read it, don't

35:10

whine about it. Don't listen to this. Okay?

35:12

Is there the people who are sending it in?

35:15

Because they're pissed. And if

35:17

you're pissed, send yours in. And don't whine

35:19

to me about it. I'm sick of it. Okay.

35:23

All right. I'm whining. Thanks

35:28

to all of you for listening to my

35:30

rant. If you have

35:32

a rant you want to get off

35:34

your chest, send it in to me

35:37

at lewisblack.com/blah. You can

35:39

think of it as therapy, or whatever you

35:41

want. Just let

35:43

it rip. And I want to

35:45

thank the true stars of the

35:48

show. The ranters. The splendid

35:50

rants they gave us. Lewis

35:52

Black's RantCast was created and hosted

35:55

by me, Lewis Black. Our

35:57

live audio was produced by Zola Levitt.

36:00

a steamsong by Chris

36:02

Lane executive producer

36:04

Duncan premier executive

36:07

producer