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Welcome to episode seven of

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Lex Manifest. My name is Lex.

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This is my manifestation. Today's episode is called

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the Victim Victimizer Blame

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Game. This is a topic I will probably revisit

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on multiple episodes because it's

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something that's running quite

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rampant amongst the human population.

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So what exactly is the

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victim victimizer blame game?

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One person appears to be the aggressor,

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so that makes the other person

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the victim, right? Well,

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maybe on the surface level, that's

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one way it can be perceived.

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But what about circumstances where all

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parties involved feel like the victim?

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And if we dial it back to the simple

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truth that everyone at all times is

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perceiving everything in a different way,

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then that means more than one

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truth can exist at the same time.

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And here's a really fun one for any

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energetic reality that anyone holds.

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That means they also hold the

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opposite expression within themselves,

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kind of like the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. We each hold

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the energy of creation and passion and

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love, and we simultaneously hold the

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energy of destruction and darkness

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and harm. Each and every one

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of us chooses in every moment,

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which energy we will entertain

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and which energy we will outwardly

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express. So how does that relate to the

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victim victimizer blame game?

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If you are holding the

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energetic reality of victimhood,

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that means you are simultaneously

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holding the energetic reality of

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victimization. At the same time,

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anytime you're in a state where

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you feel like one or the other,

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whether it's the victim or the

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victimizer, if you feel like one,

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you are actually being both. One

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cannot exist without the other.

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And as we become more accountable for

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our own experiences and start to really

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understand the energetic reality that

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what we perceive around us is simply a

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projection of what's

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going on inside of us,

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the more we take our personal power back,

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and we can not only recognize

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when disempowering cycles

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we can actively disengage and shift

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the script for ourselves and the people

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around us. The victim victimizer

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blame game, to put it simply,

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is exactly what it sounds like.

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There's a victim, there's a victimizer,

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there's some sort of blame

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happening, and it's a game.

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The configurations in the mechanics

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of this reality show up in a ton of

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different ways, and some are really

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obvious and some are quite subtle.

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It typically shows up as arguments, and these arguments are

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designed to be never ending.

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You may notice some fights

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literally seem to go nowhere.

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This is by design. This is the game.

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This is the energy that ensnares people

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in a lower frequency and prevents

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authentic connection and drives

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distance between self and others.

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The game also doesn't require

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two or more people to exist.

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We can play out scenarios in our own

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minds and have this energy on repeat and

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not even ever need to

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involve another person.

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So how do we step out of these cycles, both with ourselves and with other people?

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Here's five ways that can be

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accomplished. One, mindfulness.

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Catching yourself when you're holding

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the energy or telling yourself a story

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that makes you the victim of something

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outside of yourself or feeling like you

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need to make somebody else

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wrong about something,

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or you absolutely need to

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be right about something.

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Needing to be right oftentimes

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means somebody else has to be wrong.

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And notice when the energy

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starts to shift internally.

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Notice when the negative energy

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or mind games or blame or

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feeling like somebody owes you something

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when that energy first starts to run.

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There's a distinct energetic difference

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between the energy of harmony and the

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feeling of disconnect and blame.

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You can teach yourself to catch yourself

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when the yuck starts to creep up,

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and you can choose how to respond,

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and if you even need to respond at

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all, it's a lot easier said than done.

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But with practice, just

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like anything else,

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noticing the energy as it arises and

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shifting it into something more desirable

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gets easier and easier over time.

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The second way to step off the cycles

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is accountability. Own your shit.

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If you aren't showing

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up as your best self,

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what can you do to choose differently? If you look at everything in your life

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as if it was by your conscious design,

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that's when you truly

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take your power back. Yes,

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things that are outside of our

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control happen all the time,

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but we are always a single decision

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from an entirely different life.

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And it doesn't need to be that drastic. The decisions don't need

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to be life changing,

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but we're always one decision or

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one thought or one way of looking

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at things away from a completely

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different experience. Every

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day we choose what we do and

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we live the consequences.

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Everything around you right now is a

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consequence of the decisions that you have

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made, and that's for

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positive or not so great,

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but it's still there by your design

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and by your choice. Of course,

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we can't control other people, but

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we have full control over ourselves,

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our thoughts, our actions, and

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how we're showing up in the world.

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The more accountable you become, the less you blame anyone or

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anything for anything at all.

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And when it's necessary, you simply

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shift yourself for a different outcome.

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The third way to get

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off the cycles is humor.

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There is not a single person on this

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planet who is immune from the victim,

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victimizer, blame game. We all at one point feel like others

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or the universe owes us something,

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and we all show up as our less

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than ideal selves. I know for me,

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it's a lot less heavy when I can

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look for and find the humor in most

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situations. I laugh at

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myself on the regular.

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No matter how many self-help books I've

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read or inspirational quotes I post on

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Instagram, I still fall back into

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my old patterns all the time.

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For as long as I live, there

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will always be room to grow.

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And I'd personally rather spend that

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time in those weird junctures of growth,

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laughing and bringing in an energy of

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lightness to my experience rather than

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being mean to myself for being human. And the same can be said for

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when arguing with another person.

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That person is precious and

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doing the best they can,

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even if you think

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they're completely wrong,

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and even if they trigger

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the hell out of us,

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if we can find a way to laugh about

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it with a lightness and obviously

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respectfully, but even better

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laugh at it with that other person,

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it really does shift things

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in a magical way. Of course,

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not everybody is open to that reality, and sometimes people are too in their

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stuff to really pull themselves out and

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get into that space of

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humor. And that's okay.

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It's not the only way

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to step off the cycles.

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Another really powerful way is

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validating each other's perspectives.

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As I said in the beginning, we all

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perceive things completely differently,

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and that's in every single

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moment at all times.

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Different perspectives are valid,

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even when you think they're wrong.

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Try understanding, ask questions.

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Don't listen to respond.

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Listen to understand what this person

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in front of you is saying and try

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to understand why they

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think the way they do.

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Another really big way to get off the

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cycles is looking for win-win solutions.

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They always exist no matter what.

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And even if there is some compromise,

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there's always a way to find mutually

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beneficial outcomes to everything.

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And I truly believe that no matter

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how differing the opinions may be,

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at the end of the day, some relationships are not mutually

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beneficial or they inspire not so great

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things in one another. And maybe there were attempts at

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repair and it's just not getting there.

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It's okay to let those people

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go without placing value

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judgment on that person. Just because you couldn't reach a mutual

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agreement does not mean that they're

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wrong, and it doesn't mean

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that they're any less valuable.

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You simply are not in alignment with

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one another, and that is perfectly okay.

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More often than not when the victim,

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victimizer blame game starts to run.

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It's an incredibly ripe juncture for

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introspection and learning more about

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ourselves if we're willing to take a

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good look at what is showing up and our

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role in creating it, and if and why we are choosing

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to perpetuate that energy.

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So as a quick recap, five ways you

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can Step off The Merry-Go-Round,

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victim victimizer Blame Game Party

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is mindfulness, accountability,

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humor, validating each other's perspectives

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and looking for win-win solutions.

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Thank you so much for joining

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me on this episode today.

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I hope you found some value here. And I hope that next time when this

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victim victimizer blame game weird

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argument making me write you wrong,

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when these things start to pop up

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internally in your own mind and externally

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when you're communicating

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with someone else,

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my hope is that these tools can be

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helpful and effective in helping people to

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shift the script and have more harmonious

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experiences within their own minds

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and with each other. Each and every one

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of us is amazing in one way or another,

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and we all have our strengths

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and we all have our lessons,

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and everyone who shows up in your

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paradigm is there for a reason.

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And oftentimes, the people who trigger us the most

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are holding some of the most precious

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gifts for us to truly know ourselves.

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I'll catch you on the next episode.