Pari is an OBGYN and her work mainly consists of delivering babies. As an OBGYN she is often dealing with dire situations where there is not just one patient, but two. Most of the time the work is great, but when it’s bad, it’s really bad.

[3:10] Many people are moving away from giving birth in a hospital in favour of having home births, but based on Dr. Pari’s experience the risks inherent in giving birth at home aren’t worth it.

[3:35] One of the things that drew Dr. Pari to her specialty is that people actually like going to see their OB. When a woman is pregnant she’s excited and motivated, being pregnant can be the moment in someone’s life that inspires a drastic positive change in behaviour.

[4:55] 50% of pregnancies are unplanned so no matter which side of the equation a person falls on it’s an exciting time.

[5:30] For Dr. Pari, being part of the birthing experience is very humbling. Childbirth is an intense and emotional experience for everyone involved, even when you’re the doctor and have delivered tons of babies.

[6:45] Dr. Pari tries to go into every delivery with the worst case scenario in mind so that she’s prepared. It’s a fine line between being confident and being arrogant or reckless.

[8:25] Dr. Pari’s moment involves a patient she had five years ago. It was her first pregnancy and everything seemed to be going well when she went into labor spontaneously. Even then things were going fine until suddenly the baby’s heartbeat crashed. This lead to her requiring an emergency C-section and a difficult moment where the life of the baby hung in the balance.

[15:30] In situations like this, doctors tend to rely heavily on their training and do much of the work by rote. It’s once the intervention is over and the adrenaline goes down that the emotions start to make an impact.

[20:20] Whenever a birth doesn’t go smoothly, there is always a concern about whether the doctor missed something, especially since the consequences of lack of oxygen early on can affect them their entire life.

[21:55] As doctors, it’s possible to do all the right things and for something to still go wrong. It’s important for society to realize that despite the technology we now have, doctors can still make mistakes and things can still go wrong even when they don’t.

[25:00] A bad outcome or even just the fear of a potentially bad outcome is a heavy weight to carry. The worst case scenario for Dr. Pari is that a mother and her baby could both die, that’s the kind of consequence most people can’t fathom and will never encounter in the professional career.

[27:30] Perfectionism is a burden that burns doctors out. Because of the military nature of the training and the hierarchy of the system, doctors become stoic about what they do and don’t generally share their feelings about their work.

[29:15] If a patient dies during a doctor’s shift, they can’t take the time to process what had happened. They have to press on because the waiting room doesn’t just go home.

[30:35] After Dr. Pari’s experience she realized a little more vividly what was at stake with her job. Up until that point, she hadn’t had a seriously bad outcome, so it made her consider how long she would be able to work in her field.

[33:15] What people don’t understand is that maternal mortality is still the number one cause of death of women worldwide. Dr. Pari is strongly against home deliveries even in the case of healthy pregnancies, specifically because of the experiences she has had.

[36:30] A person’s gut feeling and visceral understanding of something is determined by three things: the first imprint, the most impactful thing, and the most recent thing. For hospitals that generally means illness and death. That is why people think of home births differently than they do about giving birth in the hospital.

[39:10] 1 in 4 pregnancies will need a C-section for one reason or another. Many of the times that people are doing home births they are also doing more risky things that they would be advised against at a hospital.

[41:45] Miscarriages are surprisingly common, up to 50% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. In the event of an early miscarriage, it doesn’t mean that the woman won’t be able to have a healthy pregnancy. The further along in the pregnancy the loss is, the harder it becomes.

[46:50] If you feel like medicine is your passion and you’re ready for the long, hard road then go for it. Whatever specialty you go into, make sure you are okay with waking up at 3 in the morning to do whatever it is that specialty does.

[48:45] Dr. Pari’s big why is to help women with their health, but also to empower them with knowledge about their own bodies so they can partake in the healthcare process.

[49:20] Having a work-life balance is an important realization that Dr. Pari had when she transitioned away from having a private practice. Sleep is a constant challenge for her since it’s the basis for pretty much everything we do.

[51:10] What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a book that Dr. Pari recommends to her patients as a good reference resource. In terms of life experience, Living Boldly by Brene Brown is one of her favorites.

[52:45] Bucking the trend, Dr. Pari wouldn’t want to offer advice to her younger self because she feels that everything that has happened in her life so far, good and bad, came at the right time to make her who she is today.

doctorpari.com
@doctorpari on Instagram
@Pari_MD on Twitter