0:00

From Kurt Coe media.

0:09

Life. Done better. This

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podcast is produced for all the unicorn

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to strive to create a life on their own terms.

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Don't take life too seriously and are

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on a mission to make a positive impact

0:25

in this world. In the show we're getting

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real about daily struggles and obstacles

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and how to best navigate through difficult times

0:32

and challenges in life. So you can

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make better decisions for yourself and

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feel healthy confident. And

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aligned. Feel less alone

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and more connected. We're in this together.

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From my heart. To yours.

0:51

Welcome to life. Done better. I'm

0:53

your host Julie Young. And today

0:55

I'm talking to Danny Jay Danny

0:58

Jay is an award winning entrepreneur speaker

1:01

podcast host and storyteller as

1:03

the former founder of the sweaty bodies

1:06

an online fitness community. Danny

1:08

Jay discover the most effective method

1:10

for capturing attention and increasing revenue

1:13

sharing personal and brand stories.

1:16

Danny Jay now teaches innovative brands

1:18

and influencers to close more sales

1:20

become better leaders and blow

1:22

up their brands with the irresistible

1:24

power of sharing. He

1:27

also helps thousands of families become

1:29

financially free in our signature course.

1:32

Master your money. I'm

1:34

super interested to talk to Jenny Jay about

1:36

new beginnings and rebuilding yourself.

1:39

You'll be amazed when you hear what

1:41

Danny went through and how she rebuild

1:43

her life over and over

1:45

again. Welcome to the show.

1:47

Danny JAY Oh thank you so much

1:49

for having me. So it's so funny to hear your bio

1:52

you're like yeah that's me. I feel

1:54

like be something better than it really

1:56

is really all right.

1:57

Rachel it's you know it's an accumulation of things

1:59

that you do and you take the highlights rate

2:02

and then you. That's really really

2:04

why invited you because you have so much to share

2:06

and I'm sure you don't talk and think about it daily

2:09

about how you read and how I mean you

2:12

know you obviously you share stories

2:14

daily but sometimes

2:16

we're just amazed me you look back and in retrospect

2:18

like wow that's a lot that's

2:21

cool. Wow. I learned that too.

2:23

I'm competing to get into this because we chatted the other

2:25

day. We have so many similar background stories

2:27

so I'm really read this go Oh

2:29

I know.

2:30

Let's share the three things that we have in common.

2:32

We both enjoy a career in the fitness industry

2:34

too. We both lived in an

2:36

RV and I don't know

2:39

many women that have lived in an RV like

2:41

not just for like a week but you lived

2:43

in an RV for a year right. Yeah

2:45

yeah I lived in RV for two years

2:47

and so I think that's quite remarkable. And you really

2:50

truly enjoyed it. That's what you wanted to do.

2:52

Oh my gosh I loved it. I was there after we got up

2:54

I was telling my boyfriend I'm like she'll be in an RV

2:56

too.

2:58

I know.

2:58

I do want to talk more about that how

3:00

we did that why we chose to do that

3:03

and what it meant in our lives. And number

3:05

three we were both married for

3:07

a decade and her husband's cheated

3:09

on this good topics for new beginnings

3:11

because we both have changed careers

3:13

many times a new partner new

3:16

financial situation. We both had

3:18

it all and lost it all. And everywhere

3:20

in between. And then yeah a lot of moving

3:23

around. So I think we are queens

3:25

of the new beginnings and know

3:27

and and so during this time of quarantine.

3:30

So what have you been up to and

3:32

what have you lost and what have you gained during

3:34

this time.

3:35

Yeah. Gosh Courtney Sheen is so interesting

3:37

and you know like I love all of those things

3:40

living in the RV starting over for

3:42

marriage. I started to just

3:44

joke that maybe that's my whole path and

3:46

life is just to start over again and

3:49

it's interesting because the last couple of years

3:51

I've been a speaker and I've been living out of a suitcase

3:53

for two years they have not had any stable

3:55

home. I was in L.A. from

3:58

right after my marriage ended. So from about mid

4:00

2016 to 2018 I

4:02

ended up getting a speaking gig that kept me

4:04

going. Three months and then another one kept me

4:06

six months and then suddenly I'm speaking and traveling

4:09

a lot. And so it turns

4:11

to you know three months turns into two

4:13

years suddenly and I was starting

4:15

to really get restless

4:18

and the travel and I loved it.

4:19

I mean I will say I feel like this is

4:21

the one time in my life I could do it. You know I was single

4:24

I didn't have anything holding me back. And

4:26

at the same time I was really missing having some kind

4:28

of roots like friendships and you know

4:30

having to look forward to like maybe game night on

4:32

Friday with friends or something like that totally.

4:35

And so early 2020. I

4:37

really wanted to just stay in one place. I started

4:39

dating someone. We kind of met where we

4:41

were both traveling and heading the same

4:43

places at the same time which was ironic. And

4:46

I said it been a place for a month. That's all

4:48

I asked one month. And so we got this

4:50

air BMV from March 1st to 34

4:53

and I was going to have to leave for a speaking gig

4:55

and come back and I did actually have speaking

4:57

gigs after that. April May. And

5:00

the irony was that they ended

5:02

up getting canceled. We started quarantine

5:04

and all of the speaking gigs that I had

5:07

got cut off. So suddenly that's part

5:09

of what I do for a living. I'm tired of my income.

5:11

And that was yeah that was all taken away.

5:14

So I did lose a big

5:17

part of my business by not being able

5:19

to travel and speak but I saw

5:21

a lot of people pivoting and taking in their conferences

5:23

online. So I was still able to do some online

5:26

conferences and at the same

5:28

time help other people build some courses

5:30

in business.

5:31

So this has been a nice time

5:33

to ground and to grow and to educate

5:35

yourself and to really rise to the

5:37

next level.

5:38

You know I found myself saying yes to almost

5:40

everything saying yes to going to parties

5:42

events networking and getting distracted

5:45

from my goal and because

5:47

I wasn't allowed to say yes to any networking

5:49

parties and events.

5:52

It made me focus on what I'm really trying to work

5:54

on.

5:54

That's a really good time to reset and

5:56

what I really enjoyed. You shared on social

5:58

media was fine the Find Your Money Project.

6:01

I was just laughing because I thought it was just so

6:03

funny because I guess there's always resourceful

6:05

ways to find money if it's like you

6:07

know memberships that you cancel or

6:09

you know so you know you don't actually spent more

6:11

than you need to. Or if you

6:13

actually find money as in being resourceful to

6:16

offering a service that you've never offered before.

6:18

Keith explain that a little bit because I think a lot of people

6:21

that are listening I would love to

6:23

have more income they've lost income

6:26

they may have lost their jobs like

6:28

what are some like interesting

6:30

and good ideas to start with.

6:33

Yeah. So it's called Find the money project

6:35

and I actually started this in 2015

6:37

because after the economy crashed

6:40

in 2008 it didn't really hit me Institute

6:42

Poll 2010. And so my ex husband

6:45

and I had a home we ended up we were

6:47

in Las Vegas in the housing market really got hit there.

6:49

We ended up foreclosing on our home filing bankruptcy

6:52

moving in with some friends. I mean I

6:54

was like I don't know how to make money now because

6:56

I was a personal trainer and when

6:58

people are struggling they are going to cut luxuries.

7:01

And so I wasn't get I didn't

7:03

have a lot of clients losing money and

7:06

I was just so desperate. I was googling like

7:08

how to make money how to win a car.

7:10

When I was online all day just like crying

7:12

looking for a job applying for anything.

7:15

Feeling like nobody was hiring.

7:17

And I really felt like the answer to

7:19

all my money problems was just make more money if

7:22

I just made more or if the economy hadn't crashed

7:24

then I would be fine. And

7:26

I realized very quickly that that was not true.

7:29

And what happened after I started to learn these principles

7:32

was I ended up paying off my student loans at

7:34

eighteen thousand dollars left in

7:36

sixty nine days and prior

7:39

to that I had been carrying this balance for

7:41

seven years when I paid that off

7:43

and 69 days. We only had my husband had

7:45

a new job or a salary of thirty five thousand

7:47

a year. So wasn't like we just came into

7:49

a ton of money. It was I learned how to use the

7:52

money that I had and shift my perspective

7:54

and be resourceful and people always think

7:56

that we're it's lack of resources that

7:58

we just need more money we need more people

8:01

to know we need something and it's not lack of

8:03

resources it's a lack of resourcefulness.

8:05

And I realized that there were a lot of things right in front

8:07

of my face that I could have been doing

8:10

that I wasn't doing and I was overlooking. And

8:12

so some of those small things they have people go through find

8:14

them the new project and it's a seven day challenge and

8:16

most people who do that challenge find an average of eighteen

8:18

hundred dollars to twenty two hundred dollars. That's incredible.

8:21

Sometimes I have people come to me and Oh Danny

8:24

this is great but I just need to make more. And I'm like You

8:26

can't do these small things the big

8:29

things are going to come. And so ultimately

8:31

the principle is being faithful

8:33

with what you have. And if you

8:35

are making two thousand dollars

8:37

a month and you're spending twenty five hundred you're

8:40

not really being faithful with that two thousand

8:42

you have. And so one of the things they have people

8:44

do just like I was a trainer if

8:46

I was starting up a new client and have them get

8:48

on the scale take their measurements. So

8:50

the same thing as finances I

8:52

have to print out your bank statements take highlighters

8:55

of my food gas target

8:58

runs wherever your money is going.

9:00

And when we're swiping our debit card we see

9:03

that we know. But until you actually look

9:05

at it on paper and you're like taking the highlighter you

9:07

forget any of this stuff.

9:09

It's a very vulnerable place to show

9:11

your finances actually have to run through

9:14

you know all the time you were swiping

9:16

you like didn't really pay that. Oh God. Again

9:19

you're overspending on things you don't even want

9:21

to acknowledge. But once you have those statements

9:24

printed out. And when you are really

9:26

committed to look it's powerful

9:29

right. Like I really need this

9:31

do I really need to spend that money on that creating

9:34

that overview is super super important

9:36

to be really honest about it till you

9:38

really face it and look at it.

9:40

Those small things end up being really really

9:42

big things and they are the things

9:44

that can really diminish your finances. It's

9:46

a lot of these small things that we just kind of gloss

9:48

over and don't pay attention. And it's

9:51

kind of subconscious. You know Amazon purchases

9:53

Starbucks the five bucks a day food is

9:55

a huge huge one. So the first

9:58

one I have people do is look at everything.

10:00

And the second big thing that people really love

10:03

and hate is I make it a requirement

10:05

to I call it eat all the thing. So you're

10:07

not allowed to go shopping until you eat within your

10:09

home and in your cabinets because most people

10:12

kind of like our closet will go to a closet full

10:14

of clothes literally and we have nothing to wear and

10:16

we do the same thing with our food we open the fridge open

10:18

the cabinets full of stuff but we don't want

10:20

to eat it. And I'm like No you will eat

10:22

every single thing and tell it's gone

10:25

and then go shopping. And when you

10:27

do this you become a way more mindful of what you might

10:29

feel like that was so gross. You're not going to buy it again.

10:31

You bought it. I mean that one time you want a

10:34

body. I mean that one time you wanted to eat it.

10:35

So I'm like I'm making you eat it and

10:38

then you're way more mindful and

10:41

you learn to be resourceful too because

10:43

every time like you know my boyfriend

10:45

opens the fridge he's like oh we've got nothing

10:47

to eat I'm like there's five meals in this what

10:50

are you talking about.

10:50

We don't need to go shopping for two days

10:52

or three. I mean really.

10:54

And he's just like well that's what you know.

10:57

That's what you're good at. But I just don't see it.

10:59

You just whip something up again and it's

11:01

delicious. I think it's really important

11:03

to be so resourceful with these little things

11:05

in life and even with the closet like cleaning

11:07

out the closet. I've moved so

11:10

many times in my life big most small

11:12

moves overseas across the

11:14

country back and forth. I mean you know I've

11:16

minimized my closet

11:18

and I feel like every

11:20

single piece of clothing has

11:23

a purpose or it's going out of the door.

11:26

Well it's so great because right now

11:28

in master money I'm doing a module on your

11:30

environment and one of the modules is on

11:32

your clothing. And I tell people you

11:34

need to get rid of anything that doesn't make you feel that

11:36

if it doesn't fit. If it's two sizes too big and

11:38

you're afraid you're going to gain weight you're reading again or smaller

11:41

you're just hoping you could lose weight get into again get

11:43

rid of it and you could always buy a size

11:45

if you actually lose the weight or gain. And

11:48

I think we we like punish ourselves

11:50

for not being in that size anymore and we want to wear

11:52

it or we're so worried and it's like get

11:55

rid of all that stuff because it just carries an

11:57

energy that you're constantly

11:59

just beating yourself up somehow in your mind.

12:01

And I think that the energy creates more

12:03

abundance and allows you to have more abundance and it creates

12:05

more space. This was kind of a principle

12:08

we had to do in the RV cause there's no space for stuff.

12:10

So we had a rule if we brought in anything

12:12

new we had to get rid of two things and it didn't have to be

12:14

a match. So if I bought a new pair of shoes that it have

12:16

to get rid of two pairs of shoes but I'd have to get

12:18

rid of something an appliance and a shirt or. But

12:21

it was just there wasn't enough to keep

12:23

bringing stuff in. We had to clear out. So

12:26

again I had to be mindful if

12:28

I want this what am I willing to get

12:30

rid of to make space for it. And if

12:32

there was nothing I want to get rid of that I'm like No you know

12:34

I need to I need to decide which one I want more I

12:36

really think we are rewarded when we take

12:38

action sometimes for so many people

12:40

starting over feels like a punishment

12:43

feel like this isn't fair. Like Cobain

12:45

18 happen and you know everything

12:48

was going great and now this is unfair

12:50

that I have to start from scratch a new beginning

12:52

is actually an opportunity to become

12:55

somebody new become something you want

12:57

to be.

12:58

And so that new beginning can feel

13:00

jarring.

13:01

It can feel scary. It can feel like

13:03

I didn't have a plan for this. And

13:05

at the same time you have the opportunity to create

13:08

something brand new and open

13:10

to the possibilities of things being

13:12

way more beautiful and amazing than you ever

13:15

imagined.

13:17

Danny J let's take a quick

13:19

break and we'll be right back.

13:27

On medicine we're still practicing.

13:29

Join Dr. Steven tailback and Bill Kurtis

13:31

for real conversations with the medical

13:33

professionals who have their finger on the pulse

13:36

of health care in the modern world.

13:38

Available on all your favorite podcasting

13:40

platforms produced by Kurt Commedia.

13:50

We're back. We're here with Danny J.

13:53

We both lived in an RV.

13:56

It was definitely always a dream to go

13:58

cross-country once in my life but it was

14:00

came at a time that we

14:03

were financially getting sucked

14:05

dry. Like you we weren't hit

14:07

like right away in 2008 but

14:09

more like 2010 the

14:12

European clients were

14:14

starting to hook me less. We

14:17

had a couple of houses cars motorcycles

14:19

very abundant life until

14:22

you know what they say it's like the difference

14:25

between someone who has it all and something someone

14:27

who has nothing is literally three

14:29

months because you you know you can go through your

14:31

savings so quickly when the money is

14:33

not coming in and in the end you have a lot

14:35

of expenses so you feel

14:37

like you're losing everything but maybe

14:40

because you're losing everything you

14:42

make decisions more from your heart

14:44

because you're not scared anymore you're like OK well

14:46

we're losing it all so what are we going to do now.

14:49

Let's do something fun and we

14:51

sold our motorcycles sold our cars

14:54

and then bought an RV. We still don't have

14:56

exactly enough money. We had to borrow

14:58

money to get the RV Indian and

15:01

it was a fantastic like one of the

15:03

best trips of my life. Six weeks going

15:05

from one state to the next so

15:08

we drove from L.A. to keep that through

15:10

Texas Sudeikis Florida and

15:12

then up to New York. At the end of

15:14

the very trip. And I think this is important

15:17

and that's why I'm sharing it. We've never

15:19

been without food. We've never been without you

15:21

know like a roof above our head.

15:23

And at the very end of the trip

15:26

I got a call from my agent in Germany

15:28

and they said Jill you got booked on this job and this

15:31

is the amount of money you're getting a plot like out

15:33

of nowhere and worked with them in the longest

15:35

time and it was the exact amount

15:37

that we owed the person that lend

15:40

us the money for the RV the remaining amount and

15:42

I could not believe it was over the moon happy

15:44

I was like thank you thank you God universe

15:47

this was such a powerful feeling

15:49

as in I have done exactly

15:51

what I wanted to do. This is a dream come

15:53

true. So I think it's an important

15:55

thing to share. Like to know

15:57

when you make when there's a new beginning and you

16:00

can make something great

16:02

out of it but you got to be resourceful and

16:04

you gotta ask So what do I really really truly

16:06

want.

16:07

Because you could have had that opinion you could have been

16:09

like wow the economy sucks and my

16:12

dream was to be a model and an actress and this isn't

16:14

fair to me. And I will say that I felt

16:16

like that at the beginning and when we first

16:18

lost our home in Las Vegas we ended up

16:20

moving to Texas and we got this apartment

16:23

six hundred dollar a month apartment and it was a

16:25

one bedroom. So we had been in a three

16:27

bedroom home three car garage had three cars

16:29

and a motorcycle you know we had all the thing.

16:32

And I remember when we first walked into the apartment

16:35

I walked into the empty apartment and I looked around

16:37

and I was like wow this is all we have.

16:40

And I was just in tears and I felt

16:42

like we just lost everything. And

16:44

I was really disgusted and disappointed with

16:46

myself and I felt like I was never going to come

16:48

out of it. And during

16:51

those two years in that apartment that

16:53

was when I started to shift and learn the

16:55

money stuff and get everything right. And

16:57

then we chose to move into the RV and

16:59

it was such a different scenario.

17:02

So we moved from I want to say about six

17:04

or seven hundred square feet and then we moved

17:06

into an RV that was two or 300 square

17:08

feet. And I remember walking to that RV

17:10

looking around and going oh my gosh we have so much

17:13

stuff. And I was like How can you have

17:15

the same thing walking into heaven imperfect

17:17

thing. This is all we have to walking into the 300

17:19

square feet thing. We have so much.

17:21

And it was just simply a perspective shift and

17:24

realizing that I had everything I needed.

17:26

Like you said I always had been cared for

17:28

I always had a roof over my head always had food and

17:30

I had to learn to trust and trust the

17:33

universe and trust that you know a

17:35

new beginning is actually an opportunity

17:37

to become somebody new

17:39

become something you want to be. I

17:42

used to love back to school like my

17:44

favorite time was beginning of school. My

17:46

mom let up by five outfits we'd had

17:48

one new outfit every day of the week and

17:50

especially going into a new grade level

17:52

right like going into middle school and going

17:54

into high school because then there'll be new people

17:56

that didn't know me and I thought I could just recreate

17:59

myself I can be somebody I knew I could have a new style

18:01

like I was just like a skater last year I could

18:03

just like a proxy here I could try

18:05

on Yeah I could try on different identities

18:08

and so I feel like when we start over we

18:10

get to choose a new identity and

18:12

that's when my husband and I split

18:15

I had the identity of being married

18:17

and being asked and did we and

18:20

I was faced with what do I want.

18:22

New beginnings can be really really tough.

18:24

There can be a lot of tears can be a lot of resistance

18:26

but once you start like lifting the resistance

18:29

and say OK this

18:31

is really scary and I

18:33

don't know where it is going but I trust this

18:35

is for the better. Show me

18:37

how. Like show me why. And you

18:39

know if it was a beautiful conversation

18:42

I had with someone that I would have never met

18:44

before or if I was steered

18:46

into a new direction into my

18:48

rear and I did start a whole new career

18:50

and you know like when I now talk to my ex

18:53

like he doesn't even know this new Jill

18:55

right because he has never seen me in

18:57

that role and he's never seen me

18:59

speak the way I speak because there's so much room

19:01

for me now like I remember you know that my

19:03

friends he said like you're like a whole new person

19:05

I'm like ya. And I'm really like this version

19:08

of me.

19:09

I love that I'm just not in my head

19:11

like crazy because I'm just like yes me too.

19:14

There are so many there's so many things I mean

19:16

I'm definitely a completely different person and

19:18

having no asking questions like What do

19:20

I want where do I want to go. What kind

19:22

of things are still good to me.

19:25

And for a lot of times the

19:27

answer was I don't know I don't know I was like

19:29

panicking and then it was like Let's

19:31

try this let's you know like you get curious

19:34

and I think where it comes down

19:36

to us being really upset and the resistance

19:39

comes from not acknowledging what is

19:41

when we are arguing with reality then

19:43

we're upset. So the facts are

19:46

I'm not married anymore. So instead of sitting there going

19:48

like I wish I was I wish this didn't happen

19:50

what did happen. So now I have to decide

19:52

what am I going to do with that. And so once I got

19:54

out of the place of wishing that it

19:56

happen wishing things were different because they

19:58

were different I you know I have this new reality

20:00

same thing with the economy it happened.

20:03

I can't go back and just keep being angry that

20:05

we lost our home and we had to get rid of everything.

20:08

Now you're going cave what is what's

20:11

happening now and how can I live

20:13

with and thrive and what is the

20:15

new reality how can I create it to

20:17

be something that I enjoy versus trying

20:20

to cling to the past on something I missed because

20:22

the past is gone so so

20:24

too the similarity in our stories really

20:26

are clearing the energy and getting rid

20:28

of the junk grade really

20:30

thinking of life as OK

20:32

you know we're not always getting what we want and

20:35

we don't know always know how things

20:37

evolve but if we can trust.

20:39

I mean it's really trusting and take

20:42

responsibility of cleaning

20:44

up any residue you negative

20:47

energy if it's jealousy

20:49

if it's insecurity if anger

20:51

resentment. If we can look

20:54

it in the eyes and really truly understand

20:56

why it is and then release

20:58

the energy so much room is created

21:01

and that invites what you want to attract

21:03

because when people say I want to be

21:05

listened to more I want to be loved more I want to have

21:07

more money and so all these things that I want

21:10

want want but what do you give. Do

21:12

you match that energy. Like

21:14

it doesn't mean that you you know if you want to be listened

21:16

to do you listen.

21:19

If you want to feel appreciate. Do you show

21:21

your appreciation daily. Yeah

21:24

I think the clearing of the energy is so

21:26

important. Even though it's not something you can

21:28

see but it's something you can feel Yeah

21:31

you read two really great points.

21:33

One is the trust. Right

21:35

after I found out about my husband's affair

21:37

I have a good friend who's a hypnotherapist and I

21:39

was just crying all night and I just

21:41

could. I was so anxious I couldn't eat for

21:43

a week so I called her up and I said I just need

21:46

you to help me do something. So we did the session

21:48

and what came up for me was just rework trust

21:52

trust trust and it's like what

21:54

am I trusting you see some people have

21:57

faith that they're hanging on to like you

21:59

know God that they believe in the universe.

22:01

But ultimately you have

22:03

to trust yourself. Like trust you will be

22:06

able to figure it out. Trust that something

22:08

will come along and you'll have new information that when information

22:10

comes you can make a good decision. And

22:13

trusting yourself is huge and if you practice

22:15

it can be scary especially if something

22:18

was out of your control or maybe you felt like

22:21

how did I not see this coming. I was blindsided

22:23

How can I trust my own gut if I somehow

22:26

missed this a fear happening in front of my

22:28

face and I see that trust

22:30

is is a practice but it's huge. And

22:32

the second is taking responsibility. Taking

22:34

responsibility for whatever

22:36

comes at you. We can all play the victim.

22:39

We can all choose to be in that victim place. But then

22:41

you don't get anywhere out of that. Saying

22:44

that I'm a victim of these circumstances

22:46

we can all feel sorry for you. But then

22:48

what. Know victims only get so far

22:51

and some people will get stuck in identifying

22:53

as the victim. And I think for

22:55

a moment that can feel good but ultimately

22:58

if you want to move on you

23:00

have to let go of that victim my idea

23:02

and take back power and by

23:04

taking that power you'd have to take responsibility.

23:06

Second part of that which was kind of what you

23:08

said as well is like becoming the

23:10

person you want to be. I remember thinking

23:13

I don't want to be a bitter divorced

23:15

woman if I don't want to be that I'm going to have

23:17

to take responsibility and try to be the kind of

23:19

person I do want to be which is loving and

23:21

open and kind and be available

23:23

to all love again not push

23:26

everyone away because I want to say all

23:28

men are cheaters or all men are terrible

23:30

because that's not the case. So

23:32

I think you know those three things really

23:35

can help you move forward but it does take awareness

23:38

and it does take practice.

23:39

It takes some time and I think we get a lot

23:41

of practice in this life because

23:45

it's not going to be a

23:47

first breakup odor for some kids.

23:50

I actually want to go back to that one thing that you said when

23:52

we we talked a few days ago you

23:54

were talking about a time in your life that you worked

23:56

at SeaWorld and I think something

23:59

happened when you were working

24:01

at SeaWorld and you were doing

24:03

backflips or what were you doing.

24:05

I had just graduated college and

24:08

so you know with my fresh degree I

24:10

ran off and joined the circus.

24:12

So you know I was a gymnast

24:14

growing up and I lived in Los Vegas.

24:16

Other performers surface the way those kind

24:18

of thing. So the gymnastics coach and

24:20

I had met some people who were involved in all

24:23

the circus life. So I started doing aerial

24:25

acrobatics and like some conventions and

24:27

things and Vegas found out about an audition for SeaWorld

24:30

and I auditioned for an acrobatic

24:32

job and I got it and I was like You know

24:35

my degree was in physical education.

24:37

I realized they did not want to be a teacher. I loved

24:39

coaching and then acrobatics was so

24:41

fun and so I thought I'm going to take

24:43

this job so I got a job in

24:45

a show called circular mayor. It was not with the dolphins

24:47

it's strictly an acrobatic show but it is in Mission

24:50

Bay and the acrobats.

24:51

We do these kinds of these polls and we jump

24:53

into the water. We swim to the island and we

24:55

do our show like falling into the water there so

24:58

that water is

25:00

very contaminated which I do not know until

25:02

after San Diego Mission

25:05

Bay is really close to Tijuana. There's lots

25:07

of sewage that's been dumped in there and I go through pretty

25:09

well known that it's very contaminated.

25:11

And I ended up waking up one morning

25:14

and I fell out of bed and I just felt

25:16

like my leg was asleep and I was like

25:18

Oh this is you know this is weird.

25:20

Went back to bed and within a few hours

25:22

it just became this excruciating pain. So I had

25:24

a trainer come over too although you have sciatica.

25:27

I was like OK this is painful stuff but

25:30

whatever. Well long story short.

25:32

Within like twelve hours I was unable to

25:34

walk at all and I was in so much pain.

25:36

I had a boyfriend at the time he came over and the door was locked

25:39

and I couldn't go open the door.

25:41

And so I the army crawled to the door like reach

25:43

up to the handle and he just saw me on the ground

25:45

he's like well we got to take you to the hospital.

25:48

Into the hospital they sent me home. They did

25:50

X-rays like everything looks fine and

25:54

gave me pain medicine that wasn't touching

25:56

it. And so he goes I don't know what to do with you I'm sending

25:58

you home dear parents. So

26:00

he got me on a plane put me in a wheelchair

26:03

couldn't walk. Got me on a plane my

26:05

mom picked me up from the wheelchair took me straight

26:07

to the hospital and I ended up staying there for a month.

26:09

And what happened when we got there it was I

26:11

found out that I had one hundred and four femur.

26:14

And they said well if you have a fever

26:16

that high that means there's something else going

26:18

on like it's not sciatica. That's

26:20

not going to give you a fever. And so

26:23

we've been off about three days. I had a doctor

26:25

come in and she said

26:28

Danny you're not going to be able to be an acrobat

26:30

more and we're not sure you're

26:32

going to walk again and you're lucky

26:35

to be alive. All I

26:37

heard was I can't be an acrobat and

26:39

I couldn't go to work. And I was like No

26:41

you need to call my boss I'm supposed to perform on

26:43

Saturday. You know I was just in such

26:45

denial. And so what happened was

26:47

I got a bacterial infection that got in

26:49

my bloodstream gram negative bacteria

26:52

which is basically sepsis. And

26:55

it was into my finger really at joint and

26:57

cut off all the motor neuron a nerve

26:59

in my leg. And so I ended up being

27:01

in the hospital for over a month and

27:03

I thought well once the bacteria is gone I'll be able

27:05

to walk. And that just was not the case. The

27:07

damage was done to my legs and to my nerves.

27:10

And it took about a year or so to walk again. Devastating

27:14

devastating in general

27:16

but then when you are your

27:19

whole identity again is wrapped

27:21

around being an acrobat a

27:23

gymnast physical education and you can't

27:26

physically do anything. I was

27:28

depressed suicidal. I remember thinking Well

27:30

I wish I just wish that it just did kill

27:32

me because now what am I good for.

27:34

And I remember having this thought like I don't

27:37

want to be a handicapped person like that was

27:39

where my brain was and like I can't live

27:41

like this I'm going to be in a wheelchair.

27:43

And what snapped me out

27:45

of it and this was a pretty

27:47

big mac in the face of

27:49

my good friends was

27:52

19 I just got diagnosed with cancer and

27:55

I was out of the hospital she came to visit me at my home

27:58

and I had a walker and I went

28:00

to open the door and she just

28:02

looked at me and she was like Oh my

28:04

God Danny I'm so sorry.

28:07

I can't believe this happened to you it's so unfair.

28:10

And I remember her saying it's so unfair and I was

28:12

like wait you know I knew she

28:14

had cancer and it was terminal like she had liver

28:16

cancer colon cancer like it was had spread all

28:18

over her body and she was

28:20

saying to me that it was unfair and I

28:22

was I remember she left and I felt like

28:24

such a jerk like I'm

28:26

complaining wishing that I was going to die

28:29

and here Kelly is who is going to die.

28:31

She's feeling bad for me.

28:33

And so I made a conscious shift I was like wow

28:35

I need to be grateful and I need

28:37

to be grateful that I'm alive and you

28:39

know I had also been really upset that all of my parents

28:41

thought I was like super independent. I moved out on my

28:43

18th birthday like I'm out of here. I'm

28:45

never coming back. I live in.

28:48

Yes. Living with my parents I'm mad. I

28:50

can't walk they're mad and mad at the world.

28:52

This wasn't my fault. You know all of that

28:54

and I was like wow you know at least

28:56

I have somewhere to go I could be home I could be

28:58

paralyzed and homeless and at least

29:01

they have a chance to live. You know I can't

29:03

walk but at least I have that and so

29:06

I started asking my mom

29:08

to drive me to the gym and I was able

29:10

to just slightly move my right leg so I

29:12

could just barely move it. So I have

29:14

the walker I could lean on the walker with my arms

29:17

with my right leg a little and then I drag to the left.

29:19

So kind of able to move that way and

29:21

I sit on the recumbent bike and just just push my

29:23

legs around and I just knew I didn't want to get

29:25

my muscles atrophied so I just would

29:27

do that for hours. I wrote affirmations

29:30

on these little like bike paths and I put them up on the

29:32

front of the bike. She would say like I can

29:34

walk easily and effortlessly I'm healthy

29:36

and well and things like that which you

29:38

know sometimes affirmations feel like a lie. Because if

29:41

you saw me I was not walking easily and effortlessly

29:43

but I felt like if I could just get myself to believe

29:45

that it's possible then

29:47

maybe I could get my body to start to

29:49

move in that direction. And within

29:51

a year I was walking without any

29:54

detectable link.

29:56

That's incredible. Incredible.

29:59

And so did you. Did you feel any difference

30:01

like daily or weekly or was it like

30:03

after a certain amount of time you went like

30:05

you made a big leap.

30:07

No it was so slow I felt

30:09

so slow. I remember the

30:12

first time I climbed up the stairs so my parents

30:14

had a two story house and I had to stay there and

30:17

there was a day where I'm like I'm going to try the

30:19

stairs and of course the railing I'm just mostly using

30:21

my arms and I'm getting up. I got to the top

30:24

of the stairs and I felt like this immediately

30:26

immediate rush of just feeling so proud of myself

30:28

like I did it. And then

30:31

you know I don't know why our brains do this and then all of a sudden

30:33

I was mad at myself. So I was like wow three

30:35

months ago I could run or

30:38

know hover you I could run three miles and now

30:41

it's a big deal to make it up the stairs but

30:43

I would say probably

30:46

between four and six months things started to progressed

30:49

easier and I started getting more endorphins.

30:52

I'm so proud of you you know that young

30:54

Danny that already decided then

30:56

that she was going to not let

30:58

it destroy her.

31:00

Looking back like the younger Danny

31:03

what would you have told her if

31:05

you can be open to and trust

31:07

that there's bigger things. I would have just

31:09

put my younger self to like there's bigger things

31:12

coming for you don't like this. Don't

31:14

worry about it. I wouldn't have spent so much time

31:17

crying about the things I thought I lost because

31:19

I had so much wanted to see that I had no idea

31:21

that was coming.

31:22

I love that you say that. So I think that's

31:24

a beautiful end of this podcast

31:26

interview. I could talk to you for another hour.

31:29

So I thank you so much Danny

31:31

J. You are wonderful.

31:33

I do feel like you know we live a very similar

31:35

life think it's wonderful to connect with you and

31:38

I hope the listeners enjoyed the magical

31:41

feeling that we created here to thank

31:43

you again. I so appreciate you.

31:45

Thank you so much for having me on the show.

31:47

I appreciate it. Hey

31:52

it's.

31:54

The one thing we can not buy more of it's

31:56

time. Time is precious

31:58

and I am so grateful that

32:01

you chose to spend time listening

32:03

to my podcast. There's a lot

32:05

more I'd like to share with you. So don't

32:07

forget to subscribe to live done better

32:10

on your favorite podcast app.

32:12

Stay in touch. You have a question

32:14

or a topic you want to hear discuss from

32:16

the show. Shoot me a message on Twitter

32:18

at on this score.

32:20

Live done better. We all

32:23

deal with a lot in our lives

32:25

and it's freeing to talk about it openly.

32:28

From my heart to yours.

32:30

Thanks for listening.

32:40

From Kurkov media media

32:43

for your mind.