0:00

Well, hello, hello Brandon.

0:03

Hi. Uh what

0:05

an exciting time to be alive. Right,

0:08

Everything's opening, people are pumped

0:10

up. Everyone's just got

0:12

a little bit more optimism. Feels

0:14

like it's spreading around the air or something

0:17

is in the air. For sure. Summer

0:19

is underway. I know summer's underway.

0:21

I'm a new homeowner. I bought a new house that

0:24

I'm renovating. That's exciting.

0:26

You know what my friend said to me the other day, She was like, this

0:29

is so good for you to have a creative outlet that is

0:31

not related to work. And I was like, oh

0:34

my god, I never thought about it that way, And that

0:36

is such a great way for me to look at

0:38

renovating a house. And it's going to take nine

0:40

months, just like a pregnancy. So

0:43

when it's over, I'm going to have a baby

0:45

in a house. What

0:48

are we doing today? Today, We're

0:51

gonna be talking about obsession to

0:53

some degree, people who either

0:55

can't move on or just a little

0:57

too into something, or someone a very

1:00

time movie esque exactly. Sarah

1:02

Clona would love this. And

1:04

we have an update. We have an update from the

1:06

Gluttonius who was

1:08

in an episode a couple of weeks ago. So

1:11

I don't know a lot of people if you listen out of order,

1:13

will throw back and hear from

1:15

people that we've given advice to or get updates

1:18

from. So it's always good to listen to every episode

1:20

so you kind of know what we're talking about. And

1:22

this submission, she had

1:25

an issue with overeating that she would

1:27

just go through phases where she would kind of

1:29

binge and then she would get back on track and

1:31

you know, feel like she was living a healthier lifestyle.

1:34

So it's a real pendulum that she just swings

1:36

one way or the other. But she writes in after hearing

1:38

us on the episode, and she says, hey,

1:40

guys, I listened to the episode this morning and heard my

1:42

submission being read. Oh my god, have fun

1:44

and it's not fun. I'm a single mother to a son,

1:47

and I have never once considered thinking

1:49

about him as a tool to stop myself from binging.

1:52

He doesn't see me do it, but has seen my emotional

1:54

struggle with my weight ging. He tells me I'm

1:56

not fat and that he loves me no matter what. After

1:58

hearing my email being read back, I cried. I

2:00

got the answer I needed. I signed up for Venice Nutrition

2:03

and I'm going to start my journey and keep you updated.

2:06

Isn't that nice? I could climax.

2:09

I could seriously climax. I mean, oh,

2:13

this is amazing. And I

2:15

think it's important to acknowledge

2:17

here that that episode was not about

2:20

being thin. It wasn't about losing

2:22

weight to be prettier or

2:24

better looking. It was about being healthy.

2:27

So however that looks to

2:29

you, whatever that change might be in your

2:31

life, just to feel better about yourself, just to feel

2:34

like you're making healthier decisions. And again,

2:36

whatever we talk about here, you know, take with a

2:38

grain of salt, because it's just through two grains

2:40

of salt. Right. I would like to make a

2:43

note that there's another great resource for binge eaters

2:45

and chronic dieters and it's a podcast.

2:47

It's called Half Size Me with how the Robinson.

2:50

So she gives you a lot of like good tools

2:53

for sticking with like new ways

2:55

of eating and learning to break the

2:57

cycle of starving and binging. So

2:59

that's a really good podcast to listen to if you

3:01

are struggling with your weight. Well, I mean

3:03

this is a huge victory, So another problem

3:06

solved, and I think after that we deserve a

3:08

break who's

3:10

our first caller, sweetheart? Well, we have multiple

3:12

callers today and the first one,

3:15

her name is Anya. Is

3:17

it the singer? And yeah.

3:21

She's a fifty some odd year old

3:23

female from Florida, and

3:25

she writes in Dear Chelsea, I'm currently

3:27

in pre menopause and I'm starting to seriously

3:30

this is taking a turn. We haven't talked about periods

3:33

in a long time, so this is almost like

3:35

a universe manifesting periods.

3:38

We also talked about you recently, how

3:40

I would love for you to go through menopause

3:42

and how I would love for you to get a period. Hi,

3:45

Hi, Hi you is

3:47

it on you? Yes? Okay,

3:50

Anya, I haven't read your submission, so why don't you

3:52

just give us an overview what's going on? So

3:54

back in November I started

3:58

hearing about Harry Styles a little bit

4:00

more. That was at the same

4:02

time, pre mental pause was creeping

4:04

in hot flesh is

4:07

mood, swings, everything, and

4:09

I started to obsess with him.

4:11

So, since I'm usually not a

4:13

stand person, more a

4:15

modest, quiet admirer,

4:18

I was wondering if this has to do

4:20

with the pandemic, pre

4:22

mental pause and lack of travel,

4:25

or do I need some serious help with

4:27

your obsession over Harry Styles.

4:30

Yes, I think an obsession

4:32

with Harry Styles is pretty typical for

4:34

people these days. I think it probably

4:36

just has to do. Yeah, your hormones are just

4:38

probably right in line. It sounds like with a teenage

4:41

girls hormones because they're also

4:43

in love with Harry Styles, and so are older women.

4:45

Harry's has a way with older women. His girlfriend

4:48

Ollive you a Wild is older, and he

4:50

definitely likes and appreciates

4:52

older women. So, I mean,

4:54

I think your fantasy is it could be because of

4:56

menopause, but I would think that menopause

4:59

is when you start to lose your sexual

5:01

feelings towards people. You wouldn't gain

5:03

an obsession, So maybe you're not really even in menopause

5:06

yet. That could be. Well, that's why I said,

5:08

like kind of like pre menopause, like

5:10

Perry menopause, but I think Perry menopause

5:13

can last for many, many years. But

5:15

I mean, I think it's good to have an obsession. It gives

5:17

you something to like masturbate too, if you're into

5:19

that. It gives you something. Harry is

5:21

really cute to look at, obviously, I

5:23

mean, he's like adorable are you ejecting? Yeah,

5:27

we should have Harry call into the show. That would be

5:29

really funny. I have been just dying to

5:31

see him walk in or out of the building.

5:34

Yeah, he's funny. He's very funny,

5:36

Harry Styles. I'm going to actually take a

5:38

picture of you and send it to him and

5:40

say that you don't want me to Okay,

5:44

Well, he'd be delighted to hear that he has another

5:46

fan in you.

5:49

If that's even your real name, that

5:51

is my real name. All right, well

5:53

that's great. Look at that crush received

5:56

reciprocated. So just pretend

5:58

you're dating him and start telling people, Well,

6:00

don't do that, but just

6:03

enjoy it. Just enjoy your new relationship.

6:05

I'm trying. My son is not happy about

6:07

it. But oh, I didn't realize that there was a son involved.

6:10

I'm sure he's probably like, I don't need

6:12

my mother to be into Harry Styles exactly.

6:14

Yeah, but your son, he's you know what, this is your

6:16

private life. Perfect.

6:19

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay,

6:22

thanks, thank you.

6:25

This is a term that I don't understand

6:27

all this fucking lingo. But I think Stan is

6:30

like a super fan. Oh yeah, I didn't

6:32

know what that meant either. God, sometimes I feel so

6:34

stupid. I'm like, what I know, I feel so old?

6:36

Well yeah, yeah right. I

6:39

also don't like anything trendy, like you hated wheneveryone

6:41

said, or when people say

6:44

or anyways anyways. When everyone's

6:47

saying anyways anyways, it's

6:50

like, no, it's anyway. There's no s at

6:52

the end of anyway. And like, I know,

6:54

I'm such a stickler, Like it actually makes me

6:56

irritates the ship out of me when people say

6:58

that word, because as as soon as they say it, I

7:01

lose respect for them. I

7:03

have such respect for you correcting,

7:06

Yeah, you appreciate, but most people

7:08

don't want to be correct. I don't want to sound stupid

7:10

now, but other people don't mind sounding stupid. People

7:12

don't care, you know, Like I I'm such a stickler

7:14

for grammar because I didn't go to college obviously, so

7:16

I'm overcompensating. But I take it

7:19

very seriously. Just like last night at dinner, I said

7:21

to my girlfriends, I used the word platitudinizing,

7:23

and they're like, uh, not a word. I said, you want

7:25

to make a bet, and so I just had you look it up

7:27

on the way in and then set them all the

7:30

link to the definition of platitudinizing,

7:33

and you're said, I guess who

7:35

went to community college for one semester?

7:38

Me. Do you have a celebrity crusher? Like

7:40

who has been your biggest one before you

7:43

became famous? Was there someone that, like you

7:45

really loved Bruce

7:48

Springsteen? I mean

7:50

I liked them, I didn't love them.

7:53

I was never like wanted to like sit on bon

7:55

Jovi's face or anything like that. Like,

7:58

uh, Simon le bar On from R and A

8:00

Rand was like big. That was a big deal for me.

8:03

That was like my first major man crush. I

8:05

loved him and my sister like Nick Rhodes.

8:08

Then I had a crush on a famous baseball player, and

8:10

then I think, yeah,

8:12

that that was it. I always liked older men, even

8:14

when I was like a child, I liked older

8:17

guys. Which you dated an athlete now, um,

8:20

yeah, I can see you with the baseball player. Yeah, sure,

8:22

I'd date anyone, you know how open minded. I just

8:24

like, I like to keep that out in the open for everyone

8:27

listening that you are looking and

8:29

you're ready to receive receive

8:31

penetration. What

8:34

is your feeling on people abbreviating things like

8:36

California. Nothing makes

8:38

stach, it makesach annoys or

8:41

cow so like I like hashtags,

8:43

I find annoying any sort of anything that

8:46

you abbreviate, even

8:48

in text messages, like what does everyone says

8:50

dead now dead dead,

8:52

I'm dead or period in the sense

8:55

is like conversation, but then

8:57

the conversation is never over. I wish

8:59

it were. I know so

9:01

many times people are taking so

9:03

long for like what could be just

9:06

a quick transaction, you know,

9:08

they take it so slowly

9:11

and you end up talking to someone

9:13

from way longer than you need to. What about

9:15

these people who want to get on a call when it

9:17

could be an email there is nothing more. Let's

9:21

let's do zoom send me an email. It will

9:23

take two seconds, right, and you'll get

9:25

an immediate response. I also on that subject

9:28

matter, don't really like to FaceTime

9:30

anyone, And I know people really like it, but you

9:32

have to sit there and hold the phone, like without your

9:34

air pods in Like when you're on the phone with somebody,

9:36

you can get a million things done, Like if you have your

9:38

air pods and still pay attention

9:41

or stop paying attention, you know, and get a million

9:44

things done. But FaceTime is really

9:46

hard. It's annoying for me to like, you

9:48

know, it has its time. It comes in handy, yeah,

9:51

right for brief interludes like when you

9:53

were in Canada and I would FaceTime you and have

9:55

shown me how to turn the oven on. Ye, and I would FaceTime

9:57

your two daughters up there that you've left behind. Fatherhood

10:00

was good. That was good as a father. I am

10:02

their father still, So that's why they called

10:04

me down. And I'm just so happy you don't have kids.

10:07

If you had kids, I don't those girls. Are those

10:09

girls really know? You couldn't And if you couldn't

10:11

do this job, well, I guess we would have never met

10:13

Brandon. I don't even want to think about such things.

10:15

That's just like a bad nightmare, all

10:19

right. The next submission comes on,

10:21

and right onto the next mission, it

10:23

comes from Steve, who is

10:26

from Chicago. He writes, Dear Chelsea,

10:28

I had a rough job lost a few years ago,

10:31

and I'm having a hard time getting over

10:33

and I can't let go the anger. What do

10:35

you suggest move the funk on?

10:37

Buddy? Tell him that because he's on the phone. Okay,

10:39

great, sweetheart, Look I'm gonna should

10:41

I open my movies. Yeah, well he mentioned skiing naked

10:44

with you, so I

10:46

don't know if you should do anything to egg him

10:48

on. Steve, where are you? I'm

10:50

here, Steve, Hi, we can't see you.

10:53

Where's your turn your camera on? Alright,

10:57

Steve, listen, we don't worry about it. I don't

10:59

need to see you. I can are you. It sounds

11:01

like you're stuck in a victim mentality

11:04

sort of. Yeah. I had

11:06

a bad job loss about four

11:08

and a five years ago, and some things were

11:10

used against me that we're sort of spun

11:12

in a certain way that maybe look bad, and

11:15

I never had a chance to defend myself or

11:17

even explain what had happened.

11:19

And even though I had the full support of management.

11:22

It was a job I had pursued for about three

11:24

years, finally got it, super happy. I

11:26

thought I'd worked there for about seven eight years and retire

11:29

and then, uh, you know, six months

11:31

into it, that was that Well, what

11:33

happened essentially

11:35

boiled down to a woman in the office that

11:38

sort of hesitated to say this, but I thought I was

11:40

creepy, and

11:42

like I said, I had full support, but it

11:45

got up to the CEO and he said, we can't

11:47

tolerate this stuff. And my opinion was what do you

11:50

can't tolerate? What right? And

11:52

I never got to defend myself my boss, his boss,

11:54

and his boss said wrong. But then that

11:56

was that. Was it against one woman or multiple

11:59

with well, I don't really know exactly,

12:01

but I was able to get some details

12:04

sort of after the fact, and so

12:06

it might have been. I know there was one specific

12:08

person that was pushing this, and

12:10

I also heard from somebody else that the idea was

12:12

to replace me with someone

12:15

else in the office who was much younger

12:17

than I was. Well, that can't

12:19

feel good to be called creepy. No,

12:21

it was horrible, and um, but what are

12:23

you gonna do? Right? Yeah, so you need to move the funk

12:25

on because like, that is old, that's history.

12:28

There's nothing you can do about it. And the only thing

12:30

you can do is let go. You have to

12:32

let go of your anger. That is the past,

12:34

it is behind you, and you

12:36

just have to focus on having more positive

12:39

vibes moving forward so that you can secure

12:41

another job. Do you have a new job? No, So,

12:44

I've been in the digital space for a long time.

12:47

It's you know, it's an extremely young industry. This

12:49

company was in the movie business. I've

12:52

been in sales. It was a sales role, and

12:55

you know my age. I tried really hard to find work

12:57

after this happened, and I think

13:00

weren't weren't flowing my way. And so I

13:02

do printed shirts and apparel

13:04

for organizations, businesses, et cetera.

13:07

I've been doing that for quite some time. It's a decent

13:09

little source of income. But I just started. I started ubering

13:11

four and neft years ago and I've been pretty much doing that ever since.

13:14

Well, that's good. That's something you're bringing in some income

13:16

with that, right, Yeah, it's sometimes

13:18

it requires a lot of hours. I was out till three

13:20

o'clock on Friday and two a month salary.

13:23

But you can make pretty good money if you push it. Well,

13:25

Steve, I think you need to give yourself room

13:28

to grow. And you're holding onto this

13:30

thing that happened four years ago. It's not serving you. So

13:32

it's taking up space. Anything

13:34

taking up space is not going to allow you to, like, you know,

13:36

really invest time or energy and to moving

13:39

forward and whether that be emotionally,

13:41

mentally or with finding a job.

13:43

So the longer you hold onto this, it's just gonna hold you back

13:45

and hold you down. So I think you just

13:47

gotta sucking throw that out and

13:50

focus on what you can do moving forward. Yeah,

13:52

and take pride in your job, like be happy that

13:55

you have a job. Some people are starving, you know. Yeah,

13:57

you're working at uber. You have the ability to work

13:59

harder to make extra money. These are all good

14:01

things too. You know, you don't have to

14:03

hold on to somebody what somebody said or may

14:06

have said, or may have not said. Somebody may have not

14:08

even said that about you. You know, that could

14:10

have been an excuse to replace you with somebody younger.

14:12

It's just it's irrelevant really to

14:14

your future. Right, And then all

14:16

makes a lot of sense. And you know, I get

14:18

it, and it's not something that that I hang on to all

14:21

the time, but it sort of flares up, you know, like a like

14:23

a thing, a virus. It's it's inside you, you

14:25

you know, and things will trigger it. So

14:28

I hear what you're saying, and I know I need to do it.

14:30

Yeah, but you need some tough love. You need a nudge in

14:32

the right direction, Like that's just coming from a loving

14:35

place. You can't just immediately fast forward

14:37

and have it not be there. But you can have it come up

14:39

without it bringing you down, you know,

14:41

like, you can have it come up so that it diminishes

14:44

each time it does come up, so that in a year from now,

14:46

it's not an issue at all. Right, Okay,

14:49

do you smoke pot here and there? Yeah,

14:51

well, maybe smoke some more. Enjoy yourself,

14:54

you know, just enjoy yourself and have

14:56

a nice time. Okay, Yeah,

15:00

try and find a girlfriend, you know. Well,

15:03

then definitely don't try to find a girlfriend. I don't want

15:05

to be giving out advice like that.

15:06

That's that's how we get into trouble around

15:08

here. So around here in our doctor's

15:10

office. Okay, Well, good luck to

15:13

you, Steve, And I'm glad you called. Yeah,

15:15

sorry about the video. I wish I could have. Yeah,

15:18

that's okay. Maybe his pants

15:21

were off and he didn't want us to see that he was

15:23

exposing himself. Well, we know that all men

15:25

do, these zooms men. It's

15:27

just such a disappointment with the way

15:29

that they pulled their penises out. I also

15:32

like to state, though, about Steve's specific

15:34

situation, is that men have to err on

15:36

the side of caution now in their interactions.

15:38

I understand I'm not telling them to go assault

15:40

a woman. No I'm not. I don't think you are, but

15:43

like anyone listening, that is the way men

15:45

have to operate. But they have to assume

15:47

that you've already been acute. Yeah, that you've already

15:49

sexually assaulted someone. Come from that place

15:51

of apology and reform,

15:54

because I mean, all men aren't bad, but there's

15:56

enough bad ones that you've sucked over everybody.

15:59

So now all men have to pay the price. White

16:01

men have to pay the price for

16:03

your advantage taking since the beginning

16:05

of time. And you can only just

16:07

say yes, I'm sorry, please tell

16:10

me more, and I'm willing to listen because

16:12

we have been man explained to for

16:14

too long, So you need to

16:16

listen to what we're telling you. We want

16:18

you to succeed, we want you

16:20

to stick around, but you need

16:23

to listen. The thing is, it's

16:25

like, okay, so that guy could have been a creep also,

16:27

and he could have been in the wrong, and

16:30

you know, maybe we should have delved into that a little bit further.

16:33

But even then, I want people to like

16:35

pick up and move on to a different point, right

16:38

like, because we all make mistakes and we

16:40

have to learn from those mistakes. And people

16:43

calling you creepy is like you would have to think about

16:45

that, right, But yes, yeah,

16:47

we need additional context for some of these

16:49

we couldn't offer well rounded advice.

16:53

He still needed to move on. That was well, we're still growing

16:55

as a counseling couple, so we were growing. We're

16:57

having growing pains. That was growing pain.

16:59

That smell of that beef jerky that you're eating

17:01

is a definite growing pain. It's

17:04

so fucking gross. It's a turkey. I

17:07

hate having to eat on a fucking schedule.

17:11

I love eating and I

17:13

can't stop eating. And now we know it gets because

17:15

do you like truffle? Like the taste of truffle?

17:18

I love it. This weekend, I think I'm going to make

17:20

mac and cheese, and there's this truff I don't want anything

17:22

to do with macaroni and cheese. I know,

17:25

I know, but I can't right now. I'm at my

17:27

steep end of things, So no macaroni

17:30

and cheese for me. This is not I

17:32

don't I fucking love. One day

17:34

in Whistler, when I wasn't skiing because my knee

17:36

was swollen and hurting, I made myself

17:39

Annie's macaroni and cheese, the organic. Yeah,

17:42

and it was just like a vat of

17:44

cheese and I just ate the entire

17:46

thing and it felt so cozy

17:48

and warm, and it was one of those days where I was just like,

17:51

you know, sitting by the fire. I just

17:53

love fucking macaroni and cheese. What

17:58

is that your

18:01

meditation reminder? Our

18:05

medications letting me know that your period is on

18:07

the approach? No, it is not. It should

18:09

have a much louder notification of

18:11

the blaring horn. It's like, get ready, good,

18:14

ready, there's a count coming

18:17

down the street. Do

18:20

you have another caller? I don't know. I wasn't listening.

18:23

I'm just kidding. Our next submission

18:25

is from William. He's in his thirties. He

18:27

is a teacher from California, and

18:29

he writes, Dear Chelsea, I recently had two amazing

18:32

dates with the same woman and we really vibed.

18:34

We had conversations about another date. We made out,

18:36

couldn't keep our hands off of each other. She

18:39

asked if I was looking for a friend with benefits.

18:41

I said I'd be open to basically

18:43

anything, and so we decided to just any

18:46

man. We're open to anything,

18:48

right, But we decided to keep it loose. We really

18:51

connected. We both love hockey, we

18:53

have the same taste in beer, we have the same degree.

18:55

How many dates? Was this to two dates? But

18:58

this is where things take a turn? He said, it's

19:00

not been three days in contact? Okay, is he there?

19:02

Well? Are you there? Yeah? I got it working

19:04

finally, thank you? Yeah, okay, cute beer

19:06

and I like your face, thank you, thank

19:09

you. Yeah, it's all that's in the picture right now. But yeah,

19:11

I like me. It's pretty good too. Okay,

19:13

well, let's not get carried away. So let's

19:16

so what happened on the first date and what happened

19:18

on the second day. Break it down for us. Okay,

19:21

Like on the first day we met on Bumble, you know,

19:24

and it's not a good Is that a good dating site? Because

19:26

I need my friend Kelly from Whistler to get

19:28

on Bumble? Well,

19:30

like, it's good because women get to

19:32

make the first move and so

19:34

so it avoids a lot of awkward situations

19:37

that women have to deal with. Like I have a lot of female

19:39

friends. They tell me like the horror stories

19:41

of you know, Tinder and everything else. But at

19:43

least there you get ladies get a little

19:45

bit more of a filtering option for themselves,

19:48

you know, and it takes the pressure off

19:50

the guys to make the first move, so

19:53

it helps out a lot in that kind of way. Okay, bumble is

19:55

great, you matter or she made the first move then, right,

19:57

yeah? Yeah yeah yeah, And we got to talking away,

20:00

you know, like I mean, we were really like into

20:02

each other and we went out.

20:05

We're both vaccinated, so we were like feeling

20:07

pretty comfy. You know. I was like, I was my first time

20:09

going out to eat, like in a year. Conversation

20:11

was rolling the entire time. We had a lot of

20:13

similarities going on. We kissed.

20:16

It seemed like we were pretty into each other. What

20:19

do you mean just kissed, like kiss on the street. Where

20:21

were you in the car? Like I was walking back

20:23

to her car, and it's kind of kissed on the way back. Oh

20:25

that's cute, that's nice and romantic.

20:27

Yeah yeah, you know, like that's what I was saying. I thought

20:30

everything was pretty good there, you know, And then the second

20:32

date what happened? Well? Wait, so then you how did you get in touch

20:34

with her for the sex? So you knew leaving the first

20:36

date you were seeing each other again. Yeah, we were already

20:38

planning in the second date. Were you thinking though that maybe

20:40

you would get more than just a kiss on the first date?

20:42

Like, were you thinking or you didn't even try

20:44

to push it. I don't know. I try

20:47

not to hold any expectations when I when I go

20:49

on dates. I was cool with whatever happened.

20:51

You know, we're covering codependent,

20:54

so like, I'm trying my hardest to

20:57

slow myself down. I was even trying in the moment.

20:59

I was like, Okay, make sure you don't get attached too quickly

21:02

or anything like that. You're a recovering

21:04

codependent from what you were codependent with your last

21:06

partner. I was married for seven

21:08

years and that was like totally what

21:11

destroyed our marriage. We were both just

21:13

totally codependent. It just devolves into

21:15

this toxicity. Talk more about

21:17

that, Like, what what do you mean? Can you give us a specific

21:19

example, because I think I have a lot of people probably feel

21:21

that way in their relationships. Yeah.

21:24

Well, you know, for me, my codependency

21:26

was about affirmation. I needed constant

21:29

affirmation that someone loves me. Yeah

21:31

that's annoying, Yeah, exactly right.

21:34

Then her codependency issue

21:36

was mistrust. She just thought I

21:38

was cheating on her all the time. It sounds like you both

21:40

had the same problem. Yeah, yeah,

21:42

yeah, I know we did exactly when we both

21:45

decided to get help, we just

21:47

kind of grew apart after that. There was just too much

21:50

toxicity in that past. Were good.

21:52

That's good that you moved on. That's good that you're done with that relationship.

21:55

So you we don't want you to repeat the same thing the second

21:57

time. We want you to have success. So okay,

21:59

so the second date. What happened on the second date?

22:02

I had reservations for a really

22:04

nice restaurant in town, but it was

22:06

outdoors and it started raining,

22:09

so they had to cancel everything,

22:11

and I had to reorganize like the entire

22:14

date, like I like within like an hour, So

22:17

like I took it down to like super

22:19

low key, took her to my

22:21

favorite pizza place, and um,

22:23

after that, we went to the drive in. We

22:26

watched Wonder Woman. Oh,

22:30

I liked it a lot, But I like Marvel movies

22:32

more than d C. But that was a good movie. Do you know what that means?

22:35

He might as well be speaking Japanese, but I know, I

22:38

know DC and Marvel Arrivals. I do know that.

22:40

Yes, Well, I was going to do that the Marvel television

22:42

show at one point, So I did know. But

22:44

okay, fine, that's yeah, we won't hold that against

22:46

you. You're a white male, of course you love that ship, so

22:49

okay. And then so you go to the drive through. So

22:51

how did the date end the second night? It ended

22:53

pretty well. We kissed a few times, we

22:55

were talking about a third date. And then

22:58

the next day she was hanging out

23:00

with some of her friends and she was like shooting me like

23:02

photos of her brunching and stuff. And

23:04

I was hanging out with some of my friends and I was shooting her photos

23:06

of us jamming because me and my friends

23:08

are all musicians and stuff. Oh

23:11

by the way, I know I'm light skinned, but I'm actually Chicano.

23:17

Well it's just that me and her like that. That's one

23:19

of our very similar things that we have, is that both

23:22

of our ancestors come from the

23:24

original settlers of Riverside. Well,

23:27

we're not related, you know. Like

23:29

that. That was like a running joke for

23:31

a couple of weeks there. It was just like, okay, well, let's

23:33

make sure we're not cousins. Okay,

23:37

so then you're not related. Check

23:39

that box. That's great to hear, but yeah,

23:41

okay, So everything seemed to be going fine the next

23:43

day following the second day, and then she just kind

23:46

of goes to you like there was no more communication. And

23:49

in your submission you mentioned

23:51

possibly writing her attacks to kind of recap,

23:54

like, hey, sorry if I did something, Sorry if you think

23:56

you're feeling a certain way, what

23:58

what happened there, and what's the status. Well,

24:00

she told me that she had some stuff going on, but

24:03

she also confirmed that she was feeling like things

24:05

were moving too fast. Oh she did say that,

24:07

Yeah, how did you react to that?

24:09

When she said that, I mean, like, I'm kind of

24:11

self aware of you know, that part

24:14

of me. I was just kind of like, that's

24:16

cool. I kind of turned you off that that's all

24:18

right, you know. And she was like, you know, I still want to be

24:20

friends because you know, we have so much comment and

24:23

I was all like, yeah, me too. I wasn't texting

24:25

her a lot or anything like that. I would just hit her up every once

24:27

in a while. And then one day on our

24:29

Instagram, I noticed that she blocked me, and

24:32

like I was like, oh,

24:34

okay, I guess I did something. So I

24:37

sent her another last text and I was just

24:39

like, hey, I'm sorry if I offended

24:41

you in some way or anything like that, I'm terribly

24:44

sorry. And I was just kind of like, I don't

24:46

I don't know what I did. M okay.

24:48

So, and I have a lot of feelings

24:50

and thoughts on this scenario, But what in

24:52

retrospect, like being self aware?

24:56

Are there certain things that you said or did

24:59

that gay her the impression

25:01

that you wanted more than

25:04

she wanted, or that you wanted things to escalate

25:06

a little bit more quickly than maybe she had

25:08

anticipated. Like, are there certain moments that

25:11

you see like Okay, I could have done

25:13

this differently, or that you'll take into the next interaction

25:15

that you will hopefully amend

25:17

in some way. That's kind

25:19

of like what I wanted to ask, y'all, what

25:21

can I do to slow things

25:24

down? How can I stop this premature

25:27

excitement? Were you trolling to her on Instagram

25:29

a lot? Like looking at her stories? If she's

25:31

not a public person, she could probably look and see who's

25:33

watching her stories. It sounds like something happened

25:35

after they went on the date that turned her off, that

25:38

she felt like you were all over her or something

25:40

and liking all of her photos or you

25:42

know, sometimes girls feel smothered like that, but

25:44

like, yeah, you should totally take that as an indicator

25:47

to chill a little bit out, because

25:49

clearly you kind of for her to block you on Instagram.

25:51

I guess I know people do that a lot, right, I mean, well,

25:54

I'm a friend that blocks people. Yeah,

25:57

but I think that there were probably things leading up to

25:59

that signs maybe we're

26:01

accounted for and like your

26:03

que car, Yeah, and you're saying it yourself, so

26:05

that means it's true. Yeah, Like you obviously have something

26:08

to offer. You know, your you seem

26:10

kind, you're handsome, you

26:12

know that there is a problem that you're trying to

26:15

resolve. But there are also things

26:17

that maybe you should be a little bit more thoughtful

26:19

about in terms of your interactions,

26:21

Like if you know that this is an issue, implement

26:24

certain rules for yourself. Like I used to have a two text

26:26

rule where I would send to an initial

26:28

one. If I didn't get response, I'd send one more generically,

26:31

and then if no response, that was it. Like it shouldn't

26:33

take much more than that.

26:36

No one should have to get to the point of blocking you.

26:40

That's what text too many. Yeah, I think you should subtract

26:42

to text, maybe just bring it down to one

26:44

and then slowly built back up to two.

26:47

That sound advice. Yeah, I

26:49

like that idea a lot. Yeah. I wasn't

26:51

rolling around Instagram though, by the way, That's kind of like

26:54

why I was so shocked, because I was like, anyone

26:59

right, right, But anyone blocking you on

27:01

Instagram that should be the end of the interaction

27:03

completely anyway, Like, don't follow

27:05

up on that. It's like some breaking up with somebody

27:07

and then having to tell them again. So, yeah,

27:10

next time the person blocks you on Instagram. Hopefully

27:12

there won't be next time. Hopefully we can nip this in the

27:14

bud, but if the first time

27:16

ever. Yeah, you also have to give

27:19

relationships or interactions room to grow. And I

27:21

think sometimes what happens is people get so like

27:23

you get so excited about it. They're just like they

27:25

invest all in. I do that with friends, and I've

27:27

seen the Brandon has no friends because

27:30

you're friends. For me, it's not the game of like,

27:32

oh, what sort of friendship dynamic are

27:34

we gonna have. It's like we're friends or not. And that's kind

27:36

of that. But in a relationship it's

27:38

a little bit trickier. Because you have to temper

27:41

those interactions. You have to give them space.

27:44

So if you get to the point where you want

27:46

to text this girl or not this specific

27:48

girl because that's wrap on her,

27:50

but the next one text someone

27:52

else, like when you go to read

27:54

true phone to check on her or text her and she's

27:57

not a message to check on you, message

27:59

of friend. Like, just apply that energy into another

28:01

relationship. And there's

28:04

no point in like watering a dead

28:06

flower. So if you can see that it's not blossoming,

28:09

invest that energy into yourself for someone else. Don't

28:13

spend too much music, write music

28:15

or what do you do? You know, play an instrument, that's

28:17

cool, you know, put your channel and your stuff into

28:19

that. Someone's gonna love you soon.

28:22

Yeah you seem lovable. Yeah, you do seem

28:24

lovable. Thank you, Thank you.

28:26

I really appreciate that, especially

28:29

from from Chelsea. Thank you very much. What about

28:31

what about Brandan? Yeah, hey, there's no higher

28:33

there's no higher than a gay guy complimenting.

28:37

That's very true, that's very true. I just don't know

28:39

you, but she taste

28:42

than I do, so it's probably a higher even

28:45

without it being her. It

28:48

just has better taste. I have no style so I guess

28:50

my compliments void. I didn't mean it in

28:52

the mean way. Sorry, that's okay, fine,

28:54

we're just giving you ship. No, No, your compliment

28:56

is totally valid and I appreciate it.

28:59

Yeah, and also you do have a lot in common

29:01

with the person. That's nice, but don't

29:03

take it too far with that. It's nice that you

29:06

both have the same heritage, and it's nice that you both

29:08

like the same beer. But like, those

29:10

aren't like cosmic signs from the universe.

29:12

It's just coincidences. So just like, don't take

29:14

all of it so seriously. You

29:17

know, I like that a lot. Thank you. Okay, there's

29:19

hope, William. Let us know what's going on. I would

29:21

like an update on your next

29:24

few dates on what's going on, so keep us posted

29:26

and just just remember taking slow, like nothing's

29:28

that serious. Yeah, take things slow. And if

29:30

I'm in that area and you still haven't met a girlfriend, maybe

29:32

I can come over and have sex with you.

29:36

Yeah, well yeah, or maybe even go on

29:38

a date. You know. Well, I don't think I need the date part.

29:40

I mean, especially sounds like you you like to you know,

29:42

I would be more of a sister transaction for

29:45

attentions man, I'll save you. The attention

29:47

is very small, so just stick

29:50

with the sacks and then it's a it's a win, all

29:52

right, Okay, I'm taking that win, all right.

29:55

Bye. But he

29:57

was cute, you know, Santa

29:59

Claus cute Chicano kind of way,

30:01

Like I love that. I love when men have like

30:04

full faces and beards and are playful. You

30:06

know, so many women are like really hard

30:09

up for a man. So many women

30:11

really want to be with somebody, They really want to be

30:13

with a responsible person, or you know,

30:15

somebody's got a job and it's got their ship together.

30:18

And you know, I don't know how much she's got a ship together

30:20

because we didn't get into that. But like I

30:23

like to think that there's a lid for every pot there

30:26

and that's why I keep telling you, we're going to find your lid.

30:29

Like you're ready for a relationship, and I

30:32

was ready for a relationship, and I've already changed my mind,

30:35

so I think I think I'm ready, and I'll never

30:37

will be ready for a relationship. It all

30:39

just seems like too much work. And

30:42

I don't I really only because

30:44

I'm very bored at this point in my life.

30:46

When I'm in l A for some reason, I find myself bored.

30:49

As soon as you got back, you asked how to log into

30:53

Tinder. No, I want to Riah, and there

30:55

were some hot guys on Riya. But I

30:58

did something wrong with my location, so

31:00

like I had changed my location

31:02

in Vancouver when I was in Whistler, and

31:04

then I never changed it back.

31:06

So I was missing all these connections.

31:09

And then there was one cute guy and I was like, are

31:11

you He had a bunch of pictures of snowboarding

31:13

and I was like, are you skiing or snowboarding? He said

31:15

snowboarding and that was the end of that relationship.

31:18

Grown men on a snowboard. I

31:21

need a guy who could ski. It's like Peter Pants

31:23

and more arrested development, Like get on a set

31:26

of skis like an adult, and it's so much

31:28

hotter, Like men's skiing is so much hotter

31:30

than a guy on a snow Snowboarding feels

31:32

like younger, like you're clinging

31:34

to something. Do you when you have an interaction

31:36

with a guy on a dating app and you're

31:39

suddenly not into it for one reason or another, do you tell

31:41

them or will you just stop responding? Usually just stopped

31:44

responding, I mean, I don't owe them anything at that point,

31:46

but I do like to tell people when they do things that annoy

31:48

me, like that guy I was, I was seeing some guys

31:51

sleeping with some guy right before I left. When I went Whistler

31:53

this year in December, and I

31:55

got there and he and we was cute. We

31:57

hung out a bunch of times before I left. Was a nice guy. Yeah,

32:00

met him and then he sent me in

32:02

Whistler like he made this big thing that he was sending

32:04

me gift, that he was sending me gifts. He said it like three

32:06

times and then asked me if I found it at my door three

32:08

times, which was also annoying. And

32:10

then I found the gift and it was a black dildo

32:13

and I just thought, what why

32:16

are you sending me a vibrator? Like that's

32:18

not funny, Like he thought it was funny.

32:20

He's like, oh, you're gonna love it. It's

32:22

like no, not

32:24

first of all, like I'm not twelve, and don't

32:26

send me asked me about a gift like a serrious

32:28

like I thought it was something sweet or sincere,

32:31

like something like you know, useful

32:33

exactly, like do you ever use those heated gloves. I got

32:36

you which heated gloves the

32:38

heat admits. Yeah, I use them

32:40

all the time. That's what I skew it. I wondered

32:42

how they were. Oh yeah, I said. I thought that's

32:44

a thoughtful kid. Yeah, that's a thoughtful gifts.

32:46

I actually got a pair for a for her birthday this year, and

32:48

then I got a pair for Kelly too, because she didn't have heat to

32:50

gloves. It's so nice to have your hands warm, so you

32:53

always default to a heat admit instead of

32:55

a dildo. Guys, Oh yeah, it's just dildo.

32:57

It is just such a gross And by the way, I've

32:59

been sent so many dildos. I mean I got

33:01

three on my birthday and whistler At got three dildos.

33:04

So he's let alone in his idiotic

33:06

thinking. And then my friend

33:09

was like, I love this vibrator, and I

33:11

was like, oh my god, there's nothing more

33:13

annoying than sitting around talking about viber. You got a

33:15

fucking vibrator from your facialist. Okay,

33:17

so that's the next vibrator. I was going to say that

33:19

I got. Yeah, so Vanessa, who installed

33:22

my neck with my own blood? Everyone

33:28

or like, it's all like we're just yes,

33:30

like we're all just trading like here, why don't you

33:33

I just don't use vibrators. I

33:35

just don't. Maybe I don't right.

33:38

I think you've said that before, that you're like people

33:40

of a certain nature. It's like, oh, well, if you don't have someone.

33:42

I mean, no, I'm not really big on masturbating.

33:44

I mean you would think actually that I

33:47

have the time to do it, but so sometimes

33:49

but not really. Now, I don't know how you

33:51

could. You always have people of the house. You were

33:54

either asleep or you have people at the house, So I

33:56

don't know when you would have time to get about

33:58

belt walking. And I'm made jerking off in the middle of

34:00

that. You. Oh god,

34:02

Brandon, come on, talk about white privilege.

34:07

Stop it. I think it's time for

34:09

me to charge my tesla. We're going to go to a

34:11

break. Oh

34:13

sweetheart. Well, I feel like we gave some sound

34:16

advice today. It sounds like we're going to wrap things

34:18

up. By the tone of your voice, I think we should.

34:20

I mean, I don't know how we could, how

34:22

we could top William And he doesn't sound

34:24

like he wants me to, so no, he doesn't

34:26

want anything to do with you. But he definitely would have sex

34:29

with me and be funny if I had sex with every drear.

34:31

Did he remind you of anyone that we know?

34:34

It's a hardy body type. Yeah. I we

34:36

don't even know what was going down from the neck down because we only saw

34:38

him from the neck up, so I can only imagine that his stomach

34:40

matches his face. Yeah, and he just seems like a thick,

34:43

like a hearty man. Yeah. I like that kind

34:45

of look. I mean, I don't really it's a kind of like a lumberjack

34:47

look. It's not really my thing, but

34:49

I'm open to it. You don't like too muscily.

34:52

I like guys that are like really fit, but not

34:54

muscily, but like fit so I can

34:56

handle a little stomach like a little bit of meat.

34:58

But I don't like when guys are like, you have a big belly,

35:01

like, I'm not into that. I don't

35:03

like things flapping. No, you

35:05

don't like persons right right,

35:07

but I do like them as friends. Well,

35:11

now we know. I just want to wish

35:13

everybody happy St. Patrick's Day, even though it's

35:15

nowhere near March. You have no idea

35:17

when any holidays are because you don't celebrate anything

35:20

I know that same Patty's Day is Marche and

35:22

that is not close.

35:25

Let's just plan on our summer vacation, Brandon,

35:27

why don't you start figuring out where I'm going to go, where

35:29

you're going to, where I'm going to, and you know where I'm

35:31

going where? Okay, so

35:33

we have everyone also keep

35:35

an eye out for Chelsea stand up dates because they're

35:38

being added now that people are being vaccinated and things are

35:40

opening up. So she has dates in

35:42

July and Nashville, which I know off the

35:44

top of my head. Those are all sold out. So

35:47

if you're looking for something to do for your summer vacation,

35:49

you guys are performing all over the place.

35:51

I'm performing at Humphreys and San

35:54

Diego. I'm performing at the Santa

35:56

Barbara Bowl. I'm performing

35:59

in Vegas on of Light tenth at the Mirage

36:01

Santa Barbara Bowl. I think it's August one,

36:04

and then I'm doing a whole slew of

36:06

dates all over across the country.

36:08

So new dates will be added. So I dates

36:11

right, We just added two new shows. So oh

36:14

and to my Canadian and brothers insist,

36:16

well, my that's really

36:18

where I'm from now. To all my Canadians.

36:21

I will be touring in Canada.

36:24

I just have not announced those dates yet. So don't

36:26

you worry. I will never forget you. Are

36:28

you kidding me? Are you fucking

36:31

kidding me? You know what, Canadians don't even

36:33

say fucking They're too polite. My

36:36

point of that is, We're going to Nashville for your stand

36:38

up dates at Zany's, which are all sold

36:40

out. But then I'm going to stay for a few extra days

36:42

and I'm going to fucking Dollywood. Oh my god,

36:45

oh my. I wish you could say, but you're

36:47

going on your family vacation at the

36:49

same time you are going to climax

36:52

all day long at that. So

36:55

Dollywood's like, is it like an amusements

36:57

an amusement park. She owns it, and I guess she's

37:00

there sporadically. I don't know if there's a Dolly calendar

37:02

for me to check to see, but I'm

37:04

going to have to get irving on the horn somebody to

37:06

figure out when she's going to be there. Oh yeah,

37:08

I'm sure they can help you out with that. Did you watch the Dolly

37:10

documentary? I started, I haven't finished

37:12

it yet, but I just love Dolly. Yeah, I

37:14

know that like Dolly too. Yeah, everybody,

37:17

you had a Dolly shirt that you wore

37:20

a lot until it was fraying.

37:23

You loved that, you were too so many stand

37:26

up shows. Finally someone said something, there's like,

37:28

what is going on? Right? It's just

37:30

more of a cute shirt though. But I do love Dolly.

37:32

I love Dolly and I love There's another good documentary

37:34

on hbox that's awesome.

37:37

I haven't watched it, but I hear you have a different appreciation

37:40

for her. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the way she can move her

37:42

body, the way she moves like when she was young,

37:44

starting at well, I mean she still can move her

37:47

body, but she was like so much older

37:49

when she made it. She was like it almost you know, fifty

37:51

when she really hit it without Ike when she

37:53

left him, so god,

37:56

Yeah, she was such

37:59

and amazing performer. Well

38:01

that's a great ending note. It's never too

38:04

late. Doesn't matter how fucking old you are, Guys, get

38:06

out there and do what you want to do. Yeah, go after

38:08

menopause like it owns you. I mean, like

38:11

you own it. You're going to own

38:13

it. O O bye