The following episode is one of the most important, deep and honest conversations I have ever had. It was originally recorded for Follow the Wolf Podcast, hosted by Wolf Castillo, who was kind enough to give me permission to republish it here. I was actually the interview guest, but I turned some questions onto the host, too, and he graciously and vulnerably shared. This talk was so informative and educational, that I would be amiss if I didn’t share it here with my listeners as well.

In this episode, we talked about what BDSM really is, and how it can provide healing when done out of love and conscious intension. It is for anyone who is curious and wants learn more about and explore BDSM and kink, and it is for anyone who has been playing in this realm for some time but hasn’t felt quite satisfied with their experiences so far. And it is for anyone who knows and appreciates the beauty of kink.

We talk about how BDSM has unfortunately been, so stigmatized, pathologized and stereotyped in the mainstream, that there has been an huge amount of judgement placed upon those who do it, that it has been difficult and/or shameful for those who have a secret desire to explore their sexuality in the realm of BDSM, kink and erotic domination.

We talk about how Female domination, or FemDom, is not only healing for the submissive, but also for the Dominatrix, and how being kinky doesn’t have to originate from trauma or abuse, or being screwed up or broken in some way.

I want to thank and acknowledge Wolf for his beautiful vulnerability and willingness to share so openly and honestly about his personal kinks and submissive journey during this podcast. This is the first time he had ever shared openly about such a deeply personal topic before, and I honor his courage. His example serves as a huge inspiration for those out there listening, who may also have submissive desires but has had no outlet or safe container in which to explore, for fear of being judged or not loved for who they are.

BDSM is about love, trust, acceptance, openness, willingness to explore and play in the dark. Make sure you find BDSM practitioners or partners to play with who feel this way about it. You should feel better, lighter, happier and fulfilled after playing with a lightworker Domme. If you play with a Domme whom you don’t feel safe with, who don’t see you or value you as a human being, or who are taking advantage of you financially or otherwise, run away. That is not real domination, and that is NOT BDSM.

If you play with a Domme who you feel is well intentioned, but you have feelings of guilt, shame, or self-judgement afterwards, you may be in the early stages of your exploration, and you are going through a normal process called the submissive’s journey. Be gentle with yourself and take your time as you learn how to accept and love this part of you. Work with a kink-aware or kink-knowledgeable therapist (like me) who can help navigate this journey with you. Find community. You don’t have to do it alone. And it’s SO WORTH IT. There is so much magic and beauty in this world. I wish you a happy and exciting kink journey.

To work with Wolf Castillo:

https://linktr.ee/FollowtheWolf

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This podcast is fully supported by my Patreon members. Your support means so much to me, and it feels so good to know that what I’m doing is appreciated by you. It is an honor to contribute to my beloved kink community.

Sending my special thanks to:

Andre, pussy doll, Richard T, Domina Flora, Delwyn W, Divine Diva, Evette R, feline goddess, L’Mae C, Mystic Dax, Tom, Tracey C, Vincent V, Bella, Persephone Rose, Betty, Bill Bumpus, Jake, Kinky Curator, Sara F, Tom W, uuee crump, Johnny SD and Mr. Grey.

And many thanks to the editor, Geoff Nigl.

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