0:00

Hey everyone, what you're about to listen

0:02

to is a preview of a bonus

0:04

episode that is available on our Patreon.

0:07

If you like this clip, you can

0:09

grab the whole episode, as well as

0:11

years of other bonus content, at www.patreon.com/Lions

0:14

Led by Donkeys. So the

0:16

British took this guy, Hazleton, and

0:18

flung him out of a plane into the darkness to

0:21

hunt down the radio signals that possibly

0:23

could clue on where

0:26

Rommel's headquarters was. He was

0:28

forced to trek for hours across the desert

0:30

until he got to the outskirts of this

0:32

town. Concealing himself from the sand, he began

0:34

to watch a building that was surrounded by

0:37

Africa Core communication vehicles. Then, like something out

0:39

of a movie or a shitty video game,

0:41

Rommel emerged from the buildings, got into his

0:43

staff car, and drove away. To Hazleton,

0:46

and to everyone else, this all but

0:48

confirmed the fact that this was Rommel's

0:50

command center. So he ran back through the

0:52

desert and eventually made his way back to Cairo and

0:55

delivered the news. Within days,

0:57

the British began planning the operation, using

0:59

a detachment of the number 11 Scottish

1:01

commando that had been practicing how to

1:04

conduct beach landings from submarines and shitty

1:06

canvas rafts. Now, the

1:08

commandos were new. They're only about a year

1:10

old and were pretty much untested, and their

1:12

training was, at this point, just

1:15

kind of winging it. The submarine is

1:17

just a really giant buck fastball, just

1:19

like slowly surfacing. I was going

1:21

to say, yeah, their selection course was that only the

1:23

fastest 20 guys who can open

1:26

a bottle of Bucky with their teeth are

1:28

allowed to join. It's just fucking Arnie McNobb

1:30

and Francis Begbie coming out with the fucking

1:32

top of the bottle. Well,

1:35

drunk ass Scott, in

1:37

the sky. The

1:41

planning would be done by

1:43

Jeffrey Charles Tasker Keys, the

1:45

son of Roger Keys of

1:47

boxer rebellion fame. So what?

1:49

Yeah, it all comes back.

1:52

It all circles back. So

1:54

like Key is, wasn't the overall commander. You

1:57

want to guess who was? You Guys know him.

2:00

From my Camry. Nope. No

2:03

than the apply. This.

2:07

Once. Once again Rollins first

2:09

bastard I've listened to say

2:11

someone sure that we should

2:13

get a non strong because

2:15

like, once again, a man

2:17

who. M I six allowed

2:19

the Ira to assassinate him because he

2:21

was so implicated in a child sex

2:23

abuse scandal and Nord Marlins are? You

2:26

think there is this kind of like

2:28

Highlander thing when it comes to military

2:30

history as.there can only really be like

2:32

a worn super weird guy who pops

2:35

open everything so you've like people like

2:37

te Lawrence age or into weird like

2:39

mail who will just like hop off

2:41

in a random blaze bus like a

2:43

i hate putting Mountbatten in with those

2:46

two because those those two guys. Were.

2:49

S a good at what the

2:51

does he have Dessert was a

2:53

button psychopath job. Use it Used.

2:55

A psychopath. Yeah. Like it's all

2:57

about a good psychopath. but he was good

2:59

at his jaw. Word Mountbatten continuously failed up

3:01

all the way until he failed into the

3:04

Stratosphere exploits since the man who would be

3:06

Parmelee remember bored because the Ira send him

3:08

into space. on to for the line in

3:10

the Simpsons were like i haven't cried like

3:13

that since Lord Mountbatten get in job acted

3:15

Punjab's. I would say

3:17

that the American military history are weird.

3:19

Guys tend to be one tier below

3:21

that. Like that the senior commander guys

3:23

aren't quite weeks and from Windsor looks

3:25

looks weird. Quakers, whereas like we don't

3:27

know reach the level of weirdness. Where's

3:29

that? You'll get a the closest we've

3:31

ever gotten in my opinion to that level

3:34

of is weird. Eccentric Three to succeed

3:36

as job is Douglas Macarthur. Yeah, but

3:38

Macarthur had people in his like his senior

3:40

Command staff who work on this level

3:42

like his i'm never His Chief of Intelligence

3:44

in the Korean War was like the

3:46

the President of the American Francisco Franco Club.

3:50

A case of wine every year cause usually

3:52

fascism is good and also try to him

3:54

own America Like genuinely seems weird. but guys

3:57

but it never gets to the same here as

3:59

the the brits Like the Brits have a

4:01

weird guy they're holding in reserves like which one how

4:03

many it's like the matrix pods of weird guys They've

4:05

got so many in reserve. I think

4:07

it's because we lack the history like America

4:09

is still a new empire Like

4:12

the Brits were cranking out weird fucking

4:14

guys when we were still British. Yeah,

4:17

that's true And also like I mean

4:20

for better or worse, you know Our our entire

4:22

sort of aristocracy is based on how much money

4:24

you amass doing slavery whereas for them It's a

4:26

whole different system. It's gone back further and like,

4:28

you know back when we were just sort of

4:30

like hey Maybe we can grow this plant that

4:32

makes purple dye using slaves and make money They

4:34

had a guy like a king who was just

4:36

like I fucking hate tobacco and I'm gonna write

4:38

the world's longest book about it like There's

4:41

a level of weird eccentricity here that I think has

4:44

always been like nestled in with power in a way

4:46

that in America like It's just money.

4:48

It's just making money. That's that's making money by way

4:50

of slavery and genocide is our thing If I was

4:52

to say like America had a peak weird guy moment

4:54

is definitely the Civil War Because they were

4:57

just throwing general Point

4:59

yeah, but like it is an example

5:01

of how different strains of Protestantism Deal

5:04

with being a pervert is like

5:06

if you're a Protestant UK you

5:09

become te Lawrence Whereas if you

5:11

become one in the US you become

5:13

like a no fap guy who like

5:15

holds it in Refuses to eat

5:17

like any grains and just like

5:19

oil. Yeah. Yeah, exactly like like

5:22

You When you get down to

5:25

it, you'll meet these people like Omar Bradley's deepest

5:27

shame Is that like he might have like a

5:29

smile to the girl once when he was 15

5:31

or something like that You know, he might have

5:33

had a wet dream once and it's like the

5:36

shame is honking of his entire life Whereas like

5:38

in the American Revolutionary War we had to import

5:40

our weird eccentric Protestant nonsense like Baron Von Neuban

5:42

Like we couldn't grow enough. We didn't have the

5:44

capacity to have the resources for our weird people

5:47

We had to bring them in like the weirda.

5:49

We also brought in like Polish Lancers who spoke

5:51

knowing Sars, etc. And I actually I

5:53

don't know if if bunch toy been if it's fair call

5:55

him and not I'm pretty sure he was gay and got

5:57

in trouble in Europe for it. But like It's

6:00

just because you got punished for that. I

6:02

don't necessarily know. Nothing but respect for a

6:04

man who shows up to a new country,

6:06

makes up everything about himself and is like

6:08

the founding father of like the strongest military

6:11

in the world, despite the fact the man

6:13

was nothing. He said he was and everybody

6:15

was like, we should just trust this

6:17

guy. I liked the way, I liked the

6:19

way he smiles. I love that this industry,

6:22

much like stuff like, you know, coopers

6:24

and people who made wheels for cars, like

6:26

kind of went by the wayside until it

6:28

was revived in the 1980s by Jeffrey

6:30

Epstein, who made a great killing importing and

6:32

exporting perverts across the Atlantic. But

6:35

also like, you know, the put

6:37

it made himself out to be like this

6:39

was like dark financial genius when like, apparently

6:42

his headshot was just like an index. But

6:44

there's one big ETF, one

6:46

big ETF with a lot of handjobs

6:49

that are done under duress. Yeah, probably

6:51

much like transporting perverts during the Civil

6:53

War. Now,

6:56

Mountbatten was a goddamn idiot. We do not

6:58

need to go into Mountbatten any longer. But

7:00

among other things, you know,

7:02

that he was one of the things he wasn't was

7:04

a good commander. So Keyes did virtually all of the

7:07

planning and Mountbatten was just the guy like put

7:09

on top in command, which is pretty

7:11

much his entire job throughout World War Two. The one

7:13

thing they did let him plan was D.F. We did

7:15

an episode about that. But

7:20

Keyes wanted to lead the attack

7:22

personally and his forces would land

7:25

ashore, hit several nearby

7:27

Italian command and control buildings before

7:29

storming the Africa Corps command center

7:31

and then killing or

7:33

capturing Rommel. So everybody knew like we're

7:35

going to kill them. All

7:38

while Operation Crusader launched simultaneously. If everything

7:40

went right, the Italian and German forces

7:42

would collapse into the chaos caused by

7:44

the commando operation and then the British

7:46

forces stormed back across Libya. Robert

7:50

Laycock, another solid name,

7:52

by the way, another commando

7:54

officer point out to Keyes that, guys,

7:56

this really doesn't seem like it's likely

7:59

to work. And even if it does, we're

8:01

all gonna die. And Keyes

8:03

told Lothoc, look, I know, but I

8:06

really want to go on this. So

8:08

Lothoc was like, okay, fine, I won't tell

8:10

anybody that this is a suicide mission, but

8:12

I'm coming with you. So

8:15

they agreed. And the dumbest compromise

8:17

ever is we won't tell our commanders that

8:19

this plan is zero

8:21

possibility of working, but

8:23

I have to come with you. That's the danger

8:25

of having the eccentric pervert ninja core is that

8:27

every single one of them, you're like, this is

8:29

a mission you will absolutely die on. They're just

8:31

like, finally, fucking finally, I get to die, glorious

8:34

death in combat. It's just like, but if you're

8:36

just like, I don't know, like

8:38

Joe McGuffin, Draftee from Hartford Cheer, you're like,

8:40

wait, I'm going to die. Yeah, it's just

8:42

like an entire unit

8:45

where there's one normal guy

8:47

and everyone else's Yukio Mishima.

8:52

Like literally on the ground being

8:54

kicked by the one normal guy

8:56

who thinks he's disciplining them, but

8:58

they're all boasting constantly. Lake

9:04

Hock and Keys were friends, so they

9:06

made this agreement and they decided they'd

9:08

go on this bro suicide mission together,

9:10

of course, without telling their

9:12

soldiers, they're like, yo fellas, we're all going to

9:14

die. So

9:16

on November 10th, 1941, two

9:18

submarines, the HMS Torbay and the

9:21

HMS Talisman took off from Alexandria

9:23

towards the operational landing spot with

9:25

60 commandos on board. Three

9:28

days later, they arrived 20 miles off the

9:30

Libyan coast and things immediately began to go

9:32

wrong. Now, I told you that these

9:34

commandos have been training to make

9:37

beach landings. They've only been

9:39

training in calm seas. Small

9:42

problem, a storm hit because

9:44

nobody thought to like look into this,

9:46

you know, like again, knock on the

9:48

door of the most ignored position in

9:50

the entire military, the meteorologists and

9:54

so horrible, horrible storm is whipping through

9:56

and they know they they only have

9:58

one chance at this. So,

10:00

they gotta do it. The seas were brutal

10:02

and said like this entire process of getting

10:05

off the submarine, loading into the boats, and

10:07

getting into water, so it took 90 minutes.

10:10

It took them seven hours. Ah,

10:12

because they were just getting these shit kicked

10:15

out of them by the ocean. And then

10:17

a wave hit the talisman while the men

10:19

were loading up, washing away 11 of them.

10:22

They were able to like pull a

10:25

couple aboard, but like, oh, Pete's dead.

10:28

It's fine. It's like being kicked on

10:30

the ground and busting. It's

10:33

fine. There's no spree decor with Pete. Yeah, make

10:35

sure when we do our AR next time, deconflet

10:37

with King Triton. Poseidon

10:39

just hates perverts. He's

10:41

doing anti-nons action. He's

10:44

livestreaming on Facebook while he's sinking

10:46

this submarine.