0:06

Welcome to Season 11 of Lobow's Spark .

0:08

Today we have Christophe , who

0:11

is outstanding , and

0:13

thank you very much for doing

0:16

the video on my channel , that

0:18

friendly fire episode . That was really

0:20

, really cool , so go check

0:22

that out . Well , christophe , welcome . All

0:24

we do is talk about our journey

0:26

with ADHD on this podcast . I

0:29

ask one question what is your ADHD

0:31

journey ? You can tell any story

0:34

you want to tell , all

0:36

right .

0:37

So it's a loaded question , I know

0:39

, but it's well

0:44

, it started back when I was a little child

0:46

but really did actually technically

0:48

. And I think I will start

0:50

from the realization

0:53

I had it basically because

0:55

that's got a reason thing . I

0:58

am nearly 40

1:01

and something and

1:04

and I've only really

1:06

realized I had ADHD

1:08

about a year and a half

1:10

ago two years ago ish and

1:13

that was simply because my

1:16

wife got diagnosed with ADHD

1:19

and autism . Again , she's delayed

1:21

diagnosed one as well . She's 15 now and

1:25

that was because my step son is 15 , got

1:27

diagnosed with autism because they had major

1:29

issues at school and

1:32

everything . So we say , yeah , something's going on here

1:34

.

1:34

Can I thank you for that ? Can I interject and

1:37

thank you for helping the step

1:40

son get the diagnosis

1:42

and whatnot , because that is my biggest

1:44

advantage is I was diagnosed

1:47

young , so I've had all this time

1:49

to figure out medication

1:51

no Medicaid , you know it's . It's been such

1:54

a blessing and almost

1:56

everyone I speak with is late diagnosed

1:58

.

1:59

So just thank you for helping oh

2:01

but I think we

2:03

had no choice because it was to a point

2:05

, wasn't going to many details , but he had

2:07

be a male that basically has trained at school

2:09

. So we had to do something about

2:11

it . And the main thing

2:14

, because I don't want to talk too much about him , because maybe

2:16

he doesn't want to be talked about- I got him

2:19

. But the one thing I'm sure one of my miss saying

2:21

is that it made a major

2:24

difference is mental health . Once

2:26

he understood . I'm not going crazy

2:29

, I'm not going mad , I'm just different .

2:31

Yeah , you're not wrong . You're not wrong

2:34

, you're different . Exactly

2:37

, that's it .

2:38

And again and that's one big thing

2:40

, whether it's ASD or ADHD

2:43

, I've got an issue

2:45

with a D in it as a disorder

2:47

side of it . Yes

2:50

, you can look at it like that and I know some people

2:52

really struggle and there's a lot

2:54

of issues linked with both conditions . But

2:57

it's not always a disorder , it's

3:00

the way of view it , as something

3:02

I said in my video , it's more , you got

3:04

a different brain , you got a different neuro type

3:06

and like one

3:08

comparison that you use an awful lot is

3:11

if you compare a Land Rover

3:13

or Ferrari , depending on where they are sticks

3:16

and boss on the farm , the Ferrari will have a wheelbase

3:19

deficit disorder and

3:22

it will be stuck in the mud and skin , my

3:24

friend , it will be shit in the field . They

3:26

think what am I doing ? Can't do anything Right

3:29

. Rubbish for shopping as well , and

3:31

so can't do anything right . Stick

3:34

the Land Rover on the racetrack . It's

3:39

a weird society where everything's

3:42

getting more and more standardized

3:44

. Also things start to change

3:46

a little bit now . Yeah , there's the big

3:49

standardization , ignoring

3:51

the fact there's a significant minority

3:54

who don't fit

3:56

in , that and struggling and nobody's

3:58

telling you just put up with it . Why don't

4:00

just go through the discomfort and just

4:02

get that ?

4:03

is that pisses me off . That

4:06

is not discomfort , it's the yeah From

4:08

people . I want to go back to the Ferrari

4:10

versus the Land Rover analogy

4:13

, because I have a very similar one

4:15

actually that I say all the time , which

4:17

is Ferrari's . I

4:20

think we have a Ferrari brain , a

4:23

brain for you know , and what happens is

4:25

but Ferrari's break kind

4:28

of consistently actually , but

4:30

it takes a shit ton of time to get the parts

4:32

needed . You can't just go to your local Ferrari

4:34

dealership or whatever . So meanwhile

4:37

the people in the Honda are just

4:39

cruising along because , I mean , a Honda

4:41

was a reliable vehicle and it just always

4:43

is going at the same pace . But once we

4:45

, once we get the parts for

4:47

our particular Ferrari , we blow past the

4:49

Honda , absolutely , absolutely

4:53

, and then we break and then we have to get the parts

4:55

back . But

4:57

we're always going to blow past

5:00

mediocrity , if

5:02

we can accept this .

5:06

And that's one thing . Again , in therapy and

5:08

I'm not talking a little bit

5:10

more about that later Some people which

5:12

I've noticed , who are neurodivergent as well

5:14

, as I wish I could be normal and

5:16

I said , no , son , that you don't want to be

5:18

normal , and they're like , well , not to

5:20

be be wonderful stuff . And

5:23

, yes , you've got struggles , yes , you have

5:25

problems , you have issues , but

5:27

that's also the other side of it as well

5:29

. So it's not all bad , it's not all

5:32

great , of course , right , it's not

5:34

. It's super power . Well , not always

5:36

, not for everybody , no , yeah

5:39

. But once you understand

5:41

what's going on , once you understand , the cause

5:43

of being dealt with is so much easier

5:45

. Right , you realize that you're

5:48

playing a game on a hard level . It's

5:50

everybody else playing on easy , exactly

5:53

.

5:56

Are you a licensed psychiatrist , or what

5:58

not , I think ?

6:00

I'm an hypnotherapist .

6:02

Hypnotherapist . Okay , that's what it is .

6:03

Got it so

6:05

yes , I just mind control people . No

6:08

, I don't know . I

6:10

help people , and

6:15

I will also maybe talk a bit later about the

6:18

advantage of being a

6:20

DHT , with therapy as well . Being a therapist

6:22

, Excellent . But just to ask you , because

6:24

we just got a tangent .

6:26

It's going to happen . It's going to happen .

6:30

But let's try to go back to the main question . So yeah , so

6:32

basically I got . I

6:36

was reading all the questions on the

6:39

list of self assessments that

6:41

my wife had and I was like , nah

6:44

, that can't be me . I was kind of in denial

6:47

of it because it was saying stuff always

6:50

on the go no , I'm not

6:52

. Yes , you're always fidgeting , you're

6:54

always doing this , you're always doing that . I'm

6:56

not running around like my brother

6:58

used to . My brother

7:01

was a proactive ADHD . I

7:03

think I'm more like inattentive ADHD mainly

7:06

, but I'm always

7:08

doing things . I've got tons of things here

7:10

. I've got stuff like stuff , like

7:12

that plastic . Since I can play with

7:14

that , I've got to fidget .

7:16

Yeah , oh yeah .

7:18

That's a question , but I didn't realize that . Yeah

7:20

, as a singer as well , for example , are you always

7:22

forgetting things ? Yeah

7:25

, okay , let's admit that . One and

7:27

the one thing was for

7:30

time blindness as well

7:32

. I said , now , that can't be me . I'm always

7:34

on time . I hate being late . And

7:36

she said , yeah , but how many alarms do you have in the

7:38

morning ? I said what I want to wake up , want

7:40

to make sure I have to get up , and one after the house

7:43

, and one wish I'm already late .

7:47

I mean , you were a minute early today . A minute

7:49

early , that is a fascinating .

7:54

I had my notifications because

7:56

I love it , not on behalf

7:58

of an hour late and I hate that and

8:01

that part of the hating being late and

8:04

trying to be on time and everything

8:06

is about you know , as well as

8:08

RSD , I don't want to be told off . I

8:14

hate to being told to do anything for that matter

8:16

. Anyway , full stop , oh yeah .

8:18

Absolutely .

8:19

Criticism and people watching this

8:21

. If you go to the edge , you will all know . Yes

8:23

, everybody hates being told off . Everybody

8:25

has been criticized , but with ADHD

8:27

is deeper than that .

8:29

It's so much more involved

8:32

than normal people

8:34

can possibly understand .

8:36

Yeah , and so basically

8:38

, yes , all that stuff going there , and

8:42

I've , foolishly , for many , many , many

8:45

years I always thought , no , I'm just maybe

8:47

slightly whippin , mostly normal

8:49

anyway , and all those kind of things

8:51

. And yeah , the more dogged

8:53

, the more , yes , no , fall

8:57

into place way , way , way more . It's

9:00

like you said about being a Ferrari . I think it's also working

9:02

90 . So I'm a 19 manager as well . And the

9:04

boss come and tell me okay , we have

9:06

this problem and I'm there , okay

9:09

, here's what you do . Yeah , I

9:11

say , well , shall we discuss all

9:13

the situations ? No , need , no

9:15

, let me tell you this . But what about this ? No

9:17

, it's okay . Well , because it says a lot

9:19

of different problems . And I said now

9:21

, it's one big thing with a few variables

9:24

there and they all fit in . Yeah , it

9:26

takes me five minutes and

9:28

then it takes me three hours of an hour to

9:30

run through with everybody and

9:32

it's frustrating .

9:34

I isn't it having to explain

9:36

why we can see the big picture

9:39

so much clearer than any

9:41

other types of people

9:43

Like . It's basically

9:46

in my job . When

9:49

I have to go to a meeting , I

9:52

literally say this meeting is going to last

9:54

30 minutes at most , but

9:57

for the first 15 minutes we're going to talk

9:59

about what we are going to do . In

10:01

the second 15 minutes we're going to fucking

10:03

do it . We are not going

10:06

to just sit around and talk about where are you

10:08

with this ? Where are you with this ? Okay , well , I'll get that done . Well

10:10

, how about ? Right the fuck now .

10:13

Because if you don't do it right now , it's not going to get done

10:15

, it's not yeah , forever it is

10:17

gone . So

10:20

that's a bit of a stuff that's set to find a

10:22

place also as well . When

10:25

I was trying to look more into mail down stuff

10:27

like that , the reason

10:29

, one of the reasons why I met therapy is nice

10:31

because about 10 years

10:33

ago nearly , I had a nervous breakdown

10:36

. Everything was too much and basically

10:38

panic attacks out of the blue . I

10:41

should have said coming , but I didn't . I ignored the signs

10:43

like , right , most people do

10:46

, and I also had one at uni

10:48

as well . Basically

10:51

, just I'll say to I can't do with

10:53

anything and I'm looking back . It

10:56

makes sense now . Now

10:58

I'm quite lucky

11:01

in the fact that

11:03

I'm quite . I've

11:05

come to . This is quite well , I've been cut from everything

11:08

. Well , if it's everyday stuff

11:10

, I would have carried on

11:12

perfectly fine , ignoring all of that . Obviously

11:15

, when a few things come together then blew

11:19

up more than it should have , and

11:21

basically looking back at

11:23

all the situation , all the different

11:25

things together , the from the

11:27

RSD , the stimulus brain

11:30

working differently in the expectation and the pressure

11:32

. Yeah , yeah , it makes sense

11:34

. I should have said coming if I'd

11:36

known my brain properly at the time and

11:39

I could have prevented

11:41

it or at least navigated it better

11:43

at the time . But on the plus

11:46

side that led me to become

11:48

a therapist . So that's , that's

11:50

that's sort of silver lining and

11:52

use that . I've learned my lessons

11:54

.

11:55

Fascinating , fascinating .

11:57

Because if I can get out of my general anxiety

11:59

, if I can get out of that

12:02

all that Well , thinking

12:04

ahead of the time where basically was doom and

12:06

gloom and stuck in

12:08

every possible way in my life

12:10

, to now being a

12:13

few years after that new

12:16

relationship almost what kind of new job

12:18

, main job being being accommodated

12:21

for and happily

12:23

married after that and everything . So yes , life just spin

12:26

around .

12:28

And you landed on your feet .

12:30

Oh yeah , I've been my fit .

12:32

It's fascinating to me . I firmly

12:34

believe in this is not documented

12:36

. There's no proof of this , I'm just going to say it 80

12:40

HD people , they

12:42

, they do this thing

12:44

where it's

12:46

very , very difficult , very , very difficult . Then

12:48

you succeed at some things , then you don't , you know whatnot

12:50

, but you always end

12:53

up great in

12:55

the end , because

12:57

what happens is that your brain is setting this

12:59

up the entire time . You don't really recognize

13:01

it , but your brain is preparing to

13:04

live out your dream . Yeah

13:06

, because we just go after what we want

13:08

. That's it .

13:10

And the thing as well is we're also

13:12

super good in crisis , super good

13:14

when there's trouble . Exactly , I

13:17

will be enraged

13:20

at a printer not working , which

13:22

is a trivial thing , and

13:24

I think there's a whole joke that Regie gives the machine in

13:26

a specify which machine . It was Right

13:28

it must have been a printer . Yeah , and

13:31

in IT , I've been in there for

13:33

35 years and it's always printers

13:36

, always a pain in the back side

13:38

, but , amazing , there's

13:40

a big crisis , a big situation where the

13:42

shit is a fan . Okay

13:44

, I've got it , and that's a really

13:47

interesting thing . And again , it's

13:49

something which I've learned later on is

13:52

typical of ADHD , because your brain

13:54

is super stimulated . Oh , now I can work properly

13:56

.

13:57

It is time , once again , to thank

13:59

this podcast's biggest supporters

14:02

. Without you Okay

14:04

, yeah

14:07

, I'm

14:10

trying to do two things at once here , hey

14:14

Santa Without you this podcast

14:16

does not exist . So

14:19

thank you , leo Guy-Nan , thank

14:21

you Kirk Hofstra , thank

14:24

you Casey Elliott , thank you Sarah Delano

14:26

, thank you Dustin Allingham , thank

14:29

you Blush and Crafter , thank you Jamie

14:31

Young and thank you Beth Jones

14:33

, thank you , y'all

14:35

. This podcast cannot exist .

14:39

Yeah , I don't need it . I don't need tons

14:41

of other brands available .

14:45

All the brands available . So

14:48

, Christoph , I got to tell you . So you work in IT

14:50

, is that ? Yeah , you're

14:53

going to find this fascinating . I'll let you in on a little

14:56

secret here . So I

14:58

work for college athletics and

15:01

I run the technology

15:04

for every venue that we have for

15:06

our home events . And

15:09

I don't know shit about technology and

15:11

I hate printers and I don't like updates

15:13

and I don't like . Okay , but

15:16

what I did , I was smart in the fact

15:18

that going . You know what ? I love this team . I

15:21

love this team . How can I work

15:23

here ? Here

15:25

are people that are better

15:28

than you at the things that

15:30

you struggle with . That's

15:32

it . So now I have the staff of people

15:35

that know technology and

15:38

all I have to do is help

15:40

them in life . That's

15:43

my job . Get them to where

15:45

they want to be . And if people can't

15:48

swallow their pride as a manager or whatever

15:50

, and say , you know what , if this person is better than

15:52

me , then you're not a very good manager .

15:56

That's difficult for other

15:59

people . I think I'm giving them the power

16:01

. No , I think I could

16:04

spend a lot of time learning that skill

16:06

and trying to do it , or I could get someone

16:08

to do it better than me , and I'm perfectly fine

16:10

with that . For

16:12

example , my boiler today was

16:14

packed up . I called a local plumber

16:16

. He came and fixed it for me . Here's

16:19

some money . I'm

16:21

not allowed to touch the boiler because gas and everything

16:24

and regression anyway , but

16:26

then why should I bother ? Or

16:29

fixing cars I know some people that love

16:31

tinkering with their cars and fixing it themselves

16:33

. My brother always likes that . I

16:35

don't have time for that .

16:36

I know , right , that's

16:40

the whole thing . It's the double-edged sword . I

16:43

only sharpen one side of

16:46

it . That's the side that it's already sharp

16:48

. If I try to sharpen

16:51

the other side , it might get to a somewhat

16:53

normal level . But I'm going to spend so much fucking

16:55

time sharpening that dull blade when

16:58

I can cut through a lot of other shit

17:00

pretty quick .

17:01

Yeah , what I've done for a long time

17:04

is to do a lot of botched

17:06

jobs , which , yeah , they'll do , but

17:08

not great , right ? Because

17:10

again it's the old jack-of-all-trade master

17:13

of none . Which actually is better

17:15

than the old code .

17:19

I don't know what the old code is actually . I

17:21

don't know what the old one is . None

17:23

, let's .

17:24

Google it . Yeah , I don't know what

17:26

the other thing is . Jack

17:31

, let's find it Sorry about

17:33

that . Let's go find it . Jack of

17:35

all trades , master of none

17:38

. Everything is better than

17:40

alone . All

17:43

trade , master of none

17:45

. Full quote . Yeah

17:47

, jack of all trades , master of none

17:49

. The oven time better than master

17:51

of one .

17:53

Yeah , well , because you have different things

17:55

to choose from , you have different

17:57

things All buried , right yeah

18:00

?

18:01

I love it and I think as well

18:03

. It's the funny thing as well . Just seeing

18:05

of that , I've got that kind of tattoo here

18:07

which is a Celtic thing

18:10

which allegedly I won't

18:12

guarantee . It is supposed to be the shield of Lou

18:14

L-U-G-H-A . Irish

18:18

demigod . The factory

18:20

was supposed to be the master of all

18:22

arts and war and everything . Basically

18:25

, you could do everything and I

18:27

got that one . I got my black belt because I decided

18:29

to do different things . I'll lie

18:31

on that and the thing I realized actually

18:33

, yes , that was the reason behind

18:35

it . It was a big , thing , because

18:38

that fits me nicely , exactly

18:40

so . Going back

18:42

to , did

18:44

you get officially diagnosed , or was it self-diagnosis

18:47

or Okay

18:49

, I'm

18:51

hoping to get diagnosed anytime

18:54

between now and the next five years .

18:56

Okay , Because

18:58

in the UK there

19:00

is a oh yeah oh God , I'm

19:03

not going to like green politics here , yeah , but

19:05

I get it . I've heard it .

19:08

I've managed to get on the waiting list

19:10

because I think there were some organization

19:12

, private One , which were working with the NHS , which

19:15

is the health

19:17

organization in the UK . So

19:20

I managed to get with Saccato UK , which

19:22

was privatized , was

19:24

working with the public thing

19:26

and I should

19:29

have a first assessment for the next few months

19:31

. I was very interested

19:33

with them about four , five months

19:35

ago , so not that long ago technically . But

19:38

the funny thing was I've filled in

19:40

the form on the same day actually

19:42

with

19:44

Saccato UK and with the NHS

19:46

, so the official state-sponsored

19:49

health system and

19:51

the first one sent me . Oh , thank

19:53

you very much for your form , we'll look at it . It

19:56

might take about six , seven months until we

19:58

can get to you . So please be patient and

20:01

we apologize and that's fine enough . The

20:04

NHS thank you for your form

20:06

. We'll be able to look at your form , hopefully

20:09

soon . Here's our waiting list and it was put

20:11

in different ways . So ASD two years

20:13

. Adhd five years .

20:16

Good , and then tell the ADHD person please

20:18

be patient , that helps . How

20:24

ironic is that .

20:27

And the thing as well , the number of hopes

20:30

you have to jump through to get your assessment as

20:32

well .

20:32

Exactly .

20:34

And so , yeah , all you can do private , because

20:37

you're about like two grand

20:39

, basically two thousand pounds , two grand . Well

20:41

, it depends where you go . And even then

20:44

, if you need to have your medication

20:46

, if you need it , then you

20:49

have to get that sorted out with them and you

20:51

may not be supported

20:55

by the NHS . With us in the UK , you've

20:57

got your medication , you've got a

20:59

small fee to pay , but

21:01

it's dirt cheap basically . But

21:04

if you go private , you may have to pay privately

21:06

for your medication as well , which would be more Interesting

21:08

, interesting , ok , that's

21:11

I thought of one thing there . So it's

21:13

frustrating and a lot of people

21:15

are getting frustrated with that and hopefully

21:18

it can change soon . But that's a

21:20

different story . We need a different system

21:22

. Yeah , that needs to get fixed immediately

21:24

.

21:26

Don't tell me to fucking be patient . People

21:28

need help . That's

21:31

Absolutely

21:34

. Why is this so hard for

21:36

people to understand ? People need

21:38

help . Yes absolutely .

21:40

But again , the

21:42

only thing I would say is greed at

21:45

high levels , and I'm going to leave it

21:47

to that .

21:48

OK , we'll stop it at that . Yeah , you know , I get it , I get

21:50

it . But that's the clear of politics

21:52

here , right here . That

21:54

would be the most we do on that topic

21:56

.

21:58

There's hope and people are starting to complain . So

22:01

hopefully we'll get there . But

22:03

in the meantime , yeah , even

22:05

with my hypnotherapy , I see that

22:08

a lot of people are struggling because I specialise

22:10

with people suffering

22:12

from anxiety issues , which covers

22:14

everything , to be fair . There

22:17

is a very big specialty . So you

22:19

smoke too much anxiety , you eat too much

22:21

anxiety . It's all related to

22:23

that basically , quite often . And

22:26

, yeah , and I see a

22:29

lot of people who are neurodivergent whether

22:31

it's ADHD , asd or combined or

22:33

other different type of letters and

22:36

they don't even know it themselves that they

22:38

are neurodivergent . And

22:40

for a long time I didn't realise it either because

22:42

I didn't know the science . And now I

22:44

will say half the time I'm there . Yeah

22:47

, you may want

22:49

to , you should look into that , because

22:51

I can't diagnose you , I can't tell you . You've got

22:53

an idea , but sometimes I'm there . Come

22:56

on , that's an obvious

22:58

one . And I will say yeah , half

23:00

the people basically don't realise

23:02

that and they're coming

23:04

to see me hoping I'll be able to help them feel

23:07

a bit more relaxed , get rid of the anxiety and they can move

23:09

on with their life . I'm saying it's not going to be that

23:11

easy unless you understand yourself properly

23:13

. So , please , I'm going to help you . Short-term

23:15

, I can help you feel better

23:18

, feel all happy and everything . Short-term , yes

23:20

, I can do it , and give you some tools to manage your symptoms

23:22

. Yes , I can do that Absolutely . But

23:26

it's not going to go away . It's

23:28

going to come back if you carry on

23:30

doing the same thing . Yeah , and

23:33

unless you understand yourself , then

23:35

it's going to be a problem . The first thing again

23:37

is Actually there's

23:39

something in the US as well . There's

23:41

a lot of misunderstanding

23:45

of what ASD and ADHD

23:47

are .

23:49

There's a stigma attached to it .

23:51

There's a stigma and misunderstanding

23:53

, I think , but for me as well , for example in my

23:55

family . Now , looking back

23:57

, it's everywhere , basically yeah

23:59

. But I think my late brother

24:01

was a proactive ADHD

24:04

Big time . He was a kid

24:06

at the back of the class , grabbing on his chair , going

24:08

under the desk . Yeah , he

24:10

was a kid at the top of a primary school . The teacher's understanding

24:12

. He was pretty smart , he's

24:16

smart , he's listening , he's just very let's put him

24:18

at the back , it doesn't matter if there's anyone . So

24:20

he was very lucky on that one . Right , I

24:22

was a quiet one . Give me a book and

24:26

I began to follow again hyper-focused

24:28

, right , that was the .

24:30

Thing .

24:30

Yeah and yeah

24:32

. So people think , yeah , he's a little boy who's

24:35

running around and screaming his lungs out and everything

24:37

. But on that , I think the only

24:40

thing as a kid that was I should have been

24:42

a giveaway was the speed

24:44

of my speech , because I

24:47

couldn't speak . I can't anymore , actually

24:49

Fennelinov , because I've trained myself out of it but

24:51

I could speak about 10 times faster than I do now .

24:54

I was like Eminem , eminem

24:56

.

24:57

Nothing on me , right , except

24:59

the illocution . So

25:01

it was very fast . Anything like

25:03

the few people could understand me

25:05

, but because it had to come out

25:08

fast , right , my friend

25:10

was , as he said , the furthest thing , so

25:12

that was . So , basically , I thought

25:14

for a long time , maybe I just have a speech impediment

25:16

and not just a French accent , just the

25:19

speed there , but

25:23

it was just the main way my upper

25:25

activity was manifesting itself

25:27

at the time . Well , I've

25:29

got a lot of thoughts right now and they're all going to come

25:31

out all at the same time and just fighting with

25:33

each other on the way out . And

25:35

people were like , what is he

25:37

saying ? Yeah , he's saying

25:40

it's very interesting . And

25:42

the funny thing is , at uni I had Because

25:45

we partnered up sometime for some projects and everything

25:47

, and for one year I managed to find one guy

25:49

who was just like me . That

25:51

was interesting because we understood

25:54

each other . Yeah , because

25:56

, again , we were the same way , same way friends and everything

25:58

. And sometime we're doing projects

26:00

, so going to uni , going on the campus and

26:02

everything , the face of

26:04

other people . Because we were like , yeah

26:07

, yeah , yeah , for luck , what

26:11

?

26:12

Yeah .

26:14

It was like , Because it was like in

26:16

the late 90s last century

26:18

yeah . And basically it was like people

26:20

, they were on dial-up and were already

26:23

on fiber , one gig Exactly

26:25

.

26:26

Exactly , and I think when

26:28

y'all two recognize each other and

26:30

you're like , okay , hell , yeah , okay , someone

26:32

that understands me , what I don't think the

26:35

vast majority of the world knows

26:37

is that we are better

26:39

at understanding them . Also

26:41

, we are perceptive

26:43

as shit when it comes

26:45

to people , right , that's the . So

26:49

to me , that's a huge

26:51

advantage in life Is

26:53

the ability to read people , the

26:56

ability , I mean , that can get you so

26:58

far , yeah .

27:02

But the main thing there as well is

27:04

I always consider myself

27:06

a bit of a chameleon in

27:09

a way , socially speaking . Right , I

27:12

think it's 20 years ago I was more

27:14

hippie-like hair than to hair . Yes , I had hair

27:16

and I miss it

27:19

. I miss it , but

27:21

, yes , physically I can be

27:24

speaking to people , I

27:26

can speak to hippies , I can speak to skinheads

27:28

, I can speak to seagulls

27:31

, I can speak to the bin man and everything , and

27:33

I'm able to read quickly and that's because

27:35

RSD means

27:38

I don't want to be criticized . Therefore , you've got two

27:40

ways of going about it . One , you

27:42

have to know everything about everything . So you have

27:44

to be a know-it-all , and

27:46

yeah , that's me , I

27:49

love it . Or you , basically

27:51

you try to do everything you can to fit

27:53

in any kind of social group you meet , yeah

27:56

, and again , I think the mirroring

27:58

thing going on and

28:00

it's masking . Basically

28:03

, yeah , thank

28:05

you , therapy is very

28:07

useful in therapy because

28:09

anyone coming therapy , going

28:11

in my chair , I can

28:13

relate to them so easily now because

28:16

I got so much different thing . And

28:18

again , I had to give you an idea

28:20

on three nights in a row , because I mainly do ethnotherapy

28:23

in the evenings , and one

28:27

evening I had a junkie , crack

28:31

cocaine . The next next evening , sent

28:33

chair , I had a drug dealer wanted

28:35

to quit drug dealing and everything , and the

28:37

next evening I had

28:39

someone who was looking for counter counter terrorism

28:42

.

28:44

Seriously , seriously . What

28:50

are the odds of that ? What are the odds

28:53

of that ? Back to back

28:55

to back , exactly .

28:57

And I was there . I can't make that , I

28:59

can't have the good back . But I was like if only you knew , because

29:03

, oh , can I say anything I want to if you

29:05

knew who was in that chair before I can

29:08

. I'm here to help them , I'm not here to judge

29:11

them Right , and and

29:13

I don't kill anyone- Should

29:18

be really okay with that . First

29:25

thing is they come to me with with meaning

29:28

to get better and get out

29:30

of it , so of course I'm gonna have them . Is

29:32

be productive to say who I don't look up

29:34

. I've got someone in March is doing drugs

29:37

. I'm not gonna help anyone , so

29:39

right , so yeah , so basically I got people like that's

29:43

. I've had people for like see , see years for for

29:45

big companies , and I had some like

29:49

work from mothers single mothers

29:51

trying to do the best , and you got everything in between

29:54

.

29:54

You have every walk of life , yeah , and

29:56

you're able to help every walk

29:59

of life . This is

30:01

firmly what I believe . Adhd

30:05

people do so well , yeah

30:07

, and , and the thing as well is it

30:10

doesn't matter what work of life you're in .

30:12

You're not immune to anxiety , not

30:14

in , no to autism . You're not immune

30:16

to ADHD because there's so many

30:18

famous

30:20

people , creative people , especially people who have

30:22

ADHD , autism and everything Right and

30:25

so . But look at all the different actors

30:27

, artists .

30:29

Oh gosh , yes .

30:30

Gosh , yes , I think . To come back

30:32

to it , yeah , I

30:35

think you've got half the half that the population is

30:37

autistic because they can go down

30:39

the rabbit hole and they know everything , they can

30:41

sell up your system and they kind of

30:43

like a juice

30:46

on that . The other half is the people actually innovate

30:48

. Why is the ADHD people ? And you got a mix of the

30:51

two and for a long time I assumed was one of the

30:53

few normal one in that field

30:55

. No , I

31:01

was a fool . I'm still .

31:02

I'm sure , somehow , what I'm getting from

31:05

you is actually incredible

31:07

is what I think

31:09

. You have a self awareness

31:12

that is insanely

31:14

accurate as that

31:17

, but that's that will serve you so

31:20

well in the future . It's like now that

31:22

you know how your brain works . That

31:25

that's all it is . I make a joke

31:28

with it . Takes an ADHD brain to

31:30

figure out an ADHD brain .

31:33

That's literally that's

31:35

absolutely the thing is . The

31:37

main thing is understanding everything

31:40

, and the the funny thing as well

31:42

. I've always , I've always been

31:44

a why kid , not the why

31:46

why , why not the annoying ones ? I think

31:48

, right , this one's now , but ever

31:51

since I was a kid , it was someone say

31:53

me can please do that ? Why ? Just

31:56

because what's the point

31:58

of doing it exactly ? Exactly

32:00

, I'll do it if not , and I'm

32:03

very glad because in France and

32:05

for a long time , you have the military service right

32:08

and I was among the last few years

32:10

of having to do it and I've

32:12

escaped it , thanks , in a

32:14

way , thanks to my nervous breakdown

32:17

beforehand . So that's served me well I'm actually

32:19

we use that to escape the

32:21

one year or ten months or whatever it was , of

32:23

going to the army , because mean

32:27

the army being

32:29

told what to do Not ?

32:30

gonna happen whatsoever . Yeah

32:34

, yeah , okay . So , but basically , you'd

32:36

make a phenomenal general , but

32:39

you're not gonna make a good entry

32:41

level . See , that's

32:43

absolutely so you

32:45

can promote us to the top

32:47

spot and we will care and dog it to

32:49

get to death until it

32:51

works .

32:53

We're not grown . So our thing

32:55

is we can't just go through

32:57

the routine of doing . They're just

33:00

some people doing it , perfectly happy with that , and

33:02

that's great . That's great for

33:04

them . It's their super skill and they

33:06

can go through the thing . They can't go through

33:08

the routine , and we need people like that too

33:10

.

33:11

Absolutely . Absolutely , but

33:13

some people like us just can't

33:16

and and that's the thing I can't

33:18

for the life of me , do that shit and

33:20

of course , you need rules

33:22

, you need a structure , you need authority .

33:25

Even though I'm not good at that , I

33:27

respect that right . But they

33:29

need to be reasoned for it . So maybe because I'm

33:31

French , maybe I know that rules can be dent

33:34

.

33:34

I don't know but

33:37

the rules work out better if we create them for

33:40

ourselves , because we can actually

33:43

create a structure that

33:45

helps us up here and

33:48

rules that make sense , right , that's

33:50

. But we have the ability to

33:55

do that . It's so amazing to me .

33:57

I'm sorry , I get really pumped up

34:01

about this because like it's , it's someone

34:03

else like this that

34:06

understands , for example , someone I met , my wife I

34:08

moved in because of flat

34:10

was so much nicer than mine anyway , and

34:12

so basically

34:15

she , she , she got all those things between them that

34:17

way , that way , the autism side of the

34:19

. Obviously there's

34:22

one

34:24

side of a side of the other side of the ADHD

34:26

chaos monkey in a brain which means that every

34:28

six months she needs to rearrange the whole living room

34:30

anyway .

34:31

So it's kind of a fight between the

34:33

two .

34:34

But autism is skipping my chaos monkey

34:37

in check , which is great . But one thing at some point

34:39

you were saying but I'm

34:41

you know that I've got all those rules

34:44

and ways of doing it and and

34:46

you don't never say anything about it . I said , well , no

34:49

, because you will as many words of doing it

34:51

. Your rules make sense , so I'm happy

34:53

with that and you make me happy . So why would I change

34:55

it if you had a stupid rule ? That was

34:57

totally pointless ? I will tell you

35:00

the other thing all

35:02

the rules have . They

35:04

make sense . So sure there's

35:07

a logic behind it and I'm happy

35:09

with that and I can do logic perfectly

35:11

well . I love that .

35:13

But in that funny , in that funny

35:15

because I thought we were the ones that couldn't

35:17

do logic . We are actually

35:19

the most logical people when it comes

35:22

to the big picture on things

35:24

, because we go directly to the point .

35:27

But in recognition , logic and seeing that

35:30

all things work all together and

35:32

some people are just like looking at

35:34

the little things . So yeah , that's

35:37

the problem , people are too busy looking at

35:39

the tree . They consider all

35:41

forest basically . Oh wow

35:43

, I love that , I

35:46

love that . But

35:49

on the other hand , we're

35:53

good at that . But , for example , when I do an IT project

35:56

, I can start getting in place

35:58

, but then you got to finish all

36:00

the little things and all the little things

36:02

and all the little

36:05

things and that is a track . But then you make

36:07

stupid mistakes

36:09

. So yeah , that's where it's

36:11

a give and take that's where we

36:13

drop the ball a bit and that's fine . But I think

36:15

we do composite quite nicely and

36:17

I've worked with some company for 20 years , so

36:19

they must be happy with me .

36:23

Wait . You've worked for the same company for 20 years . I

36:26

know You're the only person that I

36:28

have met

36:30

besides myself . That

36:33

is the exact same way .

36:35

But there's a reason for it , though . Looking back , it's

36:39

a small company , about 10 of us

36:41

ish . I am the IT department

36:43

. Therefore I do everything . Therefore , I

36:45

do all the things . I'm in charge of the programming

36:49

, I'm in charge of the computers , I'm in charge of

36:52

the websites , I'm doing the data , so I've got a lot of

36:55

stuff on the go . I don't get bored Right

36:58

. Only now we've grown

37:00

enough that now I need to delegate

37:03

and some people are doing stuff for me

37:05

and it's annoying because

37:07

I've slow to respond

37:09

to anything I want to do .

37:10

Oh my god that's my number one rule . My number

37:12

one rule Speed of response . If

37:15

you send a text message , do

37:17

not wait five

37:19

minutes to tell me that something is fucking

37:21

up at this event . You need to tell me

37:23

immediately what is going

37:25

on so that I can help .

37:27

That's all I got . Frustration , basically , is because

37:29

it's up

37:32

to you people who are reliable

37:35

, maybe , but dreadfully

37:38

slow .

37:40

You might be my brother in

37:42

another life . I literally it's

37:44

possible , it's very possible , but

37:47

my thing to all of this , though , is

37:49

the

37:52

things that we are not good at Don't

37:56

ultimately mean shit , but

37:59

what we're great at matters

38:03

.

38:04

Yes , I think

38:06

the thing is yeah , and people will

38:09

disagree with that .

38:10

Yes , Absolutely .

38:12

But the thing is , yeah we're not

38:14

good at being normal , right

38:16

, and that annoys the majority

38:18

of people who want us to be normal , want

38:20

us to mask and want us to force doing things

38:22

their way , and whether it's with OTS

38:25

or ADHD . But just

38:27

imagine for one second . We try to

38:30

make them behave like us , right

38:33

? So you try to get them to be more autistic or

38:35

get them to be more ADHD . They wouldn't cope

38:37

.

38:39

Right yeah . And who has changed

38:41

the world ? That was normal . I would

38:43

love that stat . Has there ever

38:45

been a normal person that's changed the world ? Like

38:51

just a normal basic ? No

38:54

, you know . No issues upstairs

38:56

, they're not crazy .

39:00

Take any big figure and they're going

39:03

to have something weird

39:05

about them , exactly no matter

39:07

who . Exactly no

39:10

more is boring , it

39:12

is no more is weird

39:14

in my , as far as I'm concerned . I just don't understand

39:17

it .

39:18

I don't understand what normal is . Yeah

39:21

, and the thing is yeah and .

39:22

I said before . The young girl

39:24

once told me in my face she

39:26

was struggling . I just wish I could be normal , and

39:28

I know what she meant . She meant I wish I was , I didn't

39:31

have to struggle . That's what

39:33

she meant , yeah , but

39:35

no , don't be normal , be awesome , you're fantastic

39:38

, you're awesome . You see things differently . And

39:42

she was like , hmm , because I

39:44

was the first one , you kind

39:47

of kind of , I was a cheerleader , basically for yes

39:49

. And

39:52

I was chiming , you know . I

39:54

said you've got things to give you All

39:57

this thing there . And yes , you're different , yes

40:00

, you're not normal , and

40:03

that's fantastic . And Brayton , she was like she

40:06

was just doing double . I said one of

40:08

her parents was anyway , for my own safety

40:11

, and low suit and stuff like

40:13

that . But you gave her a jolt to momentum , you

40:15

gave her some momentum , yeah

40:17

, but she didn't expect from a therapist . She

40:20

expected me to tell her okay , I'm going to help

40:22

you be normal , right

40:25

, and I think it's with

40:27

the idea she's not much of a . I think

40:29

with autism there's the

40:31

ABA , which is a big controversial

40:33

thing , which are

40:35

a bore personally . Let's

40:38

make you more normal . Let's teach you

40:40

to mask properly , and

40:42

people doing that don't realize how masking

40:44

is so bloody

40:46

, exhausting , it's mentally

40:48

draining , it's painful .

40:51

It is painful , absolutely it's

40:53

physically painful to do it .

40:55

And now absolutely

40:57

, and that's the thing for me now . I

40:59

think now I've realized how

41:02

I'm doing it . As I say

41:04

, I'm lucky that I'm quite able

41:06

to do my level of I

41:09

was about to say knees , not quite the right word but

41:12

I can quite easily go up and mix in and

41:16

it doesn't take too much , as long as everything is

41:18

fine . So day to day , things are

41:20

perfectly cool and I can almost act

41:22

normal Almost . Also

41:25

, people always remember me .

41:27

I don't know why , I'm

41:29

not sure . If you're fun to

41:31

talk to , that's

41:34

not masking , that's just being you

41:37

, yeah but that's something

41:39

.

41:39

Now I've realized what

41:41

I'm doing and how I am , because

41:44

from hypnosis and doing cancelling

41:46

and something to serve before myself

41:48

as well , when I have a break down , I have to understand myself

41:50

better . So all of that , basically , as

41:53

you help people , you kind of look back on

41:55

yourself as well . You have to Absolutely and

41:58

also as well with again , my wife and I step sundering

42:00

like that and also as well

42:02

, because neurodivergent tend to attract

42:05

each other . You think in a normal

42:07

world , yes , your world is normal , but

42:09

it's a world of neurodivergence . Everybody

42:12

around you is weird , sustic

42:15

and

42:17

the thing is , yes . Now

42:20

, funny , you say that because now

42:22

I've been starting to think about

42:24

because hypnosis , you want to have

42:26

a nation , you want to specialize in things , and

42:28

the one thing that I

42:31

always do , or not in well

42:34

, it's actually yes , but not forcing it is therapy

42:38

can be fun . People

42:40

come and see me for dreadful conditions

42:43

. What my ? It's

42:45

kind of weird , but my favorite clients , people

42:47

who really

42:50

struggle massively , and there's a quite a few

42:52

women who come to see me because they're surviving

42:54

, they survive domestic violence . So right

42:56

Now , something close to my heart for many

42:59

reasons , and what

43:02

they've gone through is absolutely dreadful . You

43:04

got the PTSD and everything the bruises

43:06

, heal for the mental things . That's for a long

43:08

time Correct and a lot of

43:10

therapy . It's about okay

43:13

. So tell me everything

43:16

that went wrong , at least everything

43:18

that is bad in your life functional

43:20

till now . Tell me everything , every

43:22

details , all the things that are

43:24

horrible and everything . And after 5

43:27

, 6 , 10 sessions of doing and just

43:29

staring the shit and how does it make you feel ? Well

43:32

, I know the answer it's

43:34

your final action .

43:37

Oh my god , my goal

43:39

. Thank you .

43:40

And I'm well . Cbt is one , for example

43:43

, and CBT

43:45

can work for some conditions , not

43:47

all . But now it's been everybody

43:49

has to be CBT . No , it doesn't fit everybody Exactly . If

43:53

you have PTSD , cbt is not the

43:56

right thing for you . It makes

43:58

things worse , but it's a different story . My

44:00

goal when I see someone

44:03

for the first session it's like about an hour and a half

44:05

my goal at the end is

44:07

for that lady to leave my office and

44:10

to laugh ahead of at the mention

44:12

of the abuser's name . Thank you , that's

44:14

my game .

44:14

Thank you , that's it . That's

44:17

the fucking cure .

44:20

No way they

44:22

free themselves , they get rid of

44:24

all the shit , they get free of all the emotional

44:27

linkage , all the hurt , they

44:29

feel better about themselves and

44:31

the pathetic person

44:35

. And where

44:38

you said that , because a

44:41

lot of empirically just mentioning the name of the abuser , they

44:44

kind of they recall and you can see them going

44:46

back to victim mode . No , I'm

44:48

not having that . I'm going to have

44:50

you in a fun way

44:52

, in an enjoyable way . You're

44:56

going to see that person for the piece of shit they

44:58

are and mentioning their name will make you laugh

45:00

at their face and that's getting the

45:02

power back and that's what it absolutely is . It's

45:05

the same thing for

45:07

any kind of anxiety , ptsd and

45:11

everything . My job is to

45:13

. I'm using one

45:15

of my go-to techniques if you

45:17

ever see any kind of my video on TikTok , my

45:19

go-to if I did a demonstration for people . Getting

45:22

me to hypnosis makes them laugh , makes them smile

45:24

. People . I'm just amped up , amped

45:26

up , amped up , amped up People . It's a great feeling

45:28

Fun

45:31

, the power , the feeling of .

45:34

I'm so happy to have met you .

45:37

Yeah , and it's something which is so

45:40

simple . My hypnotetters say for

45:44

hypnosis , if you get an emotion , you can then

45:46

prolong the suggestion . What

45:48

best emotion than smiling

45:51

or

45:54

feeling of love and

45:57

just happiness and

45:59

struggle with examining that up and

46:02

for them . I got to work a bit deeper , but 99%

46:04

of people , as

46:06

they open their eyes , they're

46:09

like I'm gonna do a big fat play for

46:11

them . I have to put a little more that

46:14

was weird .

46:15

Yep , yeah , it's

46:17

weird for some people to have fun . It's weird to

46:20

have fun for some people

46:22

, but for someone like me

46:24

, I guess

46:26

I just want to radiate that so

46:29

that someone else might

46:31

pick up a little bit of it . And

46:34

if it's just a little bit . That can mean the difference in

46:36

life and death mentally .

46:38

It does . Because again

46:40

, for a long time I was in a bad place

46:42

and not

46:45

realizing it . Because again it's like

46:47

the analogy of the not

46:49

because I'm French , but the frog in boiling water and

46:52

you just increase the temperature . Also , technically

46:54

that wouldn't be true , but

46:56

again that's just science

46:59

. whatever it's like science gets in

47:01

the way of a good analogy . And

47:03

so I was in a bad place for a very long time and

47:05

I was grinding

47:08

me down slowly and

47:10

I was Mr Grumpy

47:13

basically I was . It didn't take

47:15

much for me to be grumpy and

47:17

again I said I'm a big guy so I can be intimidating if I'm in

47:19

a bad mood . And

47:22

I was like that for years and never

47:24

again . Basically

47:27

. So again and again , I'm lucky , but I've

47:29

married . A standard of comedians . It does

47:31

help a lot as well .

47:32

So that's good , that's fantastic

47:35

. I want to jump right into the honestly

47:37

. The last thing I want to ask you , because

47:40

it just flows well

47:42

what are you most

47:45

proud of ? Now here's

47:47

the question . It

47:51

cannot be . It cannot be

47:53

someone

47:55

else I'm proud of my spouse

47:57

, or my girlfriend , or my son , or whatnot

47:59

. It's got to be a characteristic within yourself

48:01

that you are most proud of . I

48:06

think you just described it .

48:07

I long for it . What are

48:10

you laughing at ? I'm

48:12

a main and

48:15

the thing is

48:17

this Making people feel happy

48:19

and laugh . I think that's something

48:21

which now I'm

48:23

actively using

48:25

. I will not again , like my wife or

48:28

people I know , go on stage and do stand-up

48:30

, because that's not me Right . I'm

48:33

not the guy who's in

48:36

front of the stage . That's not

48:38

my style . I'm the helper . That's

48:40

my nature . I'm looking back In

48:43

IT , I'm the guy who makes things work . In

48:46

therapy , I'm the guy who makes things work . People

48:48

come in and see me , for example . I'm not here . I'm

48:52

going to introduce you and you fix . It's

48:54

not that ? Now , one of my friends

48:57

got a great job . I'm

49:00

a therapist . I'm

49:02

the Merlin to your author . I'm going to give

49:04

you your scalability , your push and use

49:06

spells . You're going to go and play

49:08

your own fucking dragons , because I'm

49:10

not doing it for you , but

49:13

you're doing it . You can take the credits and you can

49:15

move on , feeling better and powerful

49:17

. That's my skill set

49:19

. That's what I do . That's

49:22

what I've been raised by my mum . I've

49:25

learned something that even as a

49:27

12-year-old , someone

49:29

asked for help . That's

49:32

my temperament . That's

49:34

what I do . We can backfire . Let

49:37

the flip side to it , you

49:40

can take it . It's not

49:42

always all love .

49:44

No , it's not . No , it isn't .

49:47

You've got to have boundaries , which I've learned the

49:51

hard way . That's something else . Our

49:54

friendship to my wife . We do the same job

49:56

. A

49:58

stand-up is an aside thing . My

50:00

impressiveness is on the side anyway . She

50:02

goes on stage and when she

50:04

does a 10-minute set or when she organises all evening

50:06

on festivals and stuff like that

50:08

, she makes people feel happy . When

50:11

people come to see a comedy show for

50:13

one hour two hours , they go in there , they

50:15

have a bloody good laugh , they go all

50:17

the end of the floor and they feel great . They forget all the

50:20

shit that happened outside and they feel great about

50:22

it . That can make a big difference

50:24

, as I said , for

50:26

anyone .

50:27

Absolutely .

50:29

It's therapy , and

50:31

also do the same thing in martial arts as well . That's

50:34

a big thing .

50:34

People forget about Global's Spark

50:37

has started a fundraising

50:39

effort for Crisis Text Line . We

50:41

have a goal of $19 per episode , as

50:44

$19 supports just

50:46

one percent in

50:49

their time in crisis with mental health . If

50:51

you would like to donate through our fundraiser

50:54

titled Warn's Infinity

50:56

, the link is listed in the episode's description

50:58

. Warn was my wife's best

51:00

friend and loved

51:03

by all

51:05

who came to contact me .

51:07

I stopped running my

51:10

own club a year ago because

51:13

of Covid . I've run a club for about 13

51:16

years and a lot of people

51:18

come to martial arts , some people

51:21

because they want to be like Bruce Lee . But

51:24

some people they come to see you because

51:26

they lack confidence or they're good issues and they're

51:28

hoping that the martial arts will harm them . And I've always made

51:31

a point I want to make the sessions fun , because

51:33

if it's not fun , what the hell are you doing it ? And

51:36

again , as you said , disciplinary and shabbing

51:41

at people , he's not my style . I don't do it that way . I

51:44

like play , I like fun . People don't

51:46

like it and they don't mind

51:48

putting more effort . But I've always made

51:51

sure every beginner in

51:53

my club I would

51:55

do a first test , I would score a test session

51:57

with them to show them what Echidro

51:59

is about . But that's because 15

52:02

years ago , before

52:05

the Maren club , I had someone

52:07

coming to see us and

52:09

I was feeling a bit hmmm

52:12

and that not too happy

52:14

about it . But I was like , oh yeah , sure

52:16

, coming in . And I said , oh yeah , coming to see I don't

52:18

want to do something . No , no , come along , come

52:20

and find it . And I said , oh

52:22

yeah , it's time to which was the other time . Yeah

52:25

, but I'm not sure if I'm the right guy , no-transcript

52:30

. Well , mate , I don't care who you are

52:32

. Do you want to hear enough fun ? I can show you

52:34

a few things . If you're interested in what we do , let's

52:37

come and see what I found on the mat and let's play . If

52:39

you like it , great . If you don't like it , you can just go home

52:41

. I'm not forcing anyone and you can say

52:43

okay . And he trained with us

52:45

for a couple of years and he told me later

52:47

on , about

52:49

a year later , after that that night

52:51

, that was his last attempt .

52:54

Unbelievable , unbelievable

52:56

, that's unbelievable . See

52:59

, that's why we do what we do . Yeah

53:01

, that's why we do what we do .

53:02

People be nice to everybody you meet

53:05

. Thank you . The thing is I

53:07

was oblivious to it , Right

53:10

, and that kind of put pressure

53:12

on me on winning my own club . But in a way

53:14

it's just a power you have , Because if

53:17

I've been there , who are you ? You're

53:20

good enough , or if I've been in the house

53:22

or if I've been trying to show off what

53:24

I'm better than you and some clubs are like that

53:27

it would have said it's

53:29

not that and it wouldn't be here . Yeah

53:31

, and that made me realize

53:33

at the time it was way before I did therapy

53:36

and stuff like that way , before I even thought of doing that . But

53:39

as a coach , my job was

53:41

to help people progress and get better , which

53:43

, again , that's why am I doing therapy

53:46

, I wonder . It's

53:48

a fancy thing , it's cool , but

53:51

yeah the thing was

53:53

, if I rewind properly

53:55

, yeah , you've

53:57

got power on people and people come and see

53:59

you and if you're nice to them , just

54:02

a small kindness every now and then can

54:04

make a life-changing

54:06

, literally difference in people's mind

54:08

. Exactly , people underestimate

54:10

that . Be nice , it doesn't cost

54:13

anything , thank you , thank

54:15

you . And when we're talking about

54:17

the seminar we went

54:20

to yesterday by a friend of mine , and

54:23

they have one rule Don't

54:26

be a dick .

54:27

OK , can that just be the one rule for the world

54:30

, Like

54:34

we have a global law ? And

54:39

if you are , you're

54:41

going to be fucking put in prison . I'm sorry

54:43

, Just don't be a dick . There's

54:47

a price for it . And now I think

54:49

the thing is sometimes I can be an asshole

54:53

and it's

54:55

not . It's my impulse .

54:58

But that's not just me . It's not quite as much being a dick

55:00

.

55:01

Yeah , my heart's in the right place , but sometimes

55:03

my mouth is into it . But

55:06

I will say at the very

55:08

end of this is , when

55:13

you die , what do you want your tombstone

55:15

to say ?

55:17

Now , that's very interesting

55:20

to say that for two reasons , because

55:22

that was what guided

55:25

me after my nervous breakdown . So

55:28

what am I going to do with my life ? That's the

55:30

first thing there . The second thing I've lost

55:32

my brother a year ago and

55:34

luckily enough I'm sorry , by

55:36

the way he

55:38

was only 50 . But

55:41

, being

55:43

the ADHD operative as he was

55:45

, fun-loving , he was a little insane . I think

55:47

he's something he could resist , but

55:49

he was the guy you liked to

55:51

meet , the guy you want on your side all the time , and

55:53

he was my role model big time . But

55:55

the one thing he lived by is I'm

55:57

not going to wait for retirement to enjoy my life , thank

56:00

you . But he did everything he could and

56:02

I'm so fucking glad he did

56:04

that , because if he waited

56:07

he will have wasted his life . So

56:09

the two things there is 100%

56:11

Don't wait , maybe

56:13

one day , and yet it's

56:16

good to have plans . Sure , have

56:18

plans , but don't sacrifice

56:21

your whole life for a

56:23

potential plan 20

56:26

years ago and

56:28

just go through the grind

56:31

now for a minute . You need to enjoy yourself

56:33

every single day . I think there's a song enjoy

56:35

yourself is better than you think . And

56:39

for me , that's the thing , everything I do

56:41

, I want to make sure At least

56:43

I'm having fun . And of course , stuff you have

56:45

to . Yeah , sure , but

56:47

if I'm not enjoying myself in my job

56:49

, if I'm not enjoying myself in my therapy

56:51

, if I'm not enjoying myself at home

56:53

, I was my wife and having a lot of fun , and

56:56

then what am I doing ? What are you ?

56:57

doing yeah , exactly , if

57:00

you live in the moment , you

57:02

will build momentum in your life , moment

57:05

Momentum . This seems obvious to me

57:07

. I'm not doing this

57:09

Absolutely .

57:12

And again , success means a difference for different people . Some

57:14

people want to be rich of big cars

57:16

and big houses . Good for them . I

57:19

know people like that and

57:22

I know some of them are happy and

57:24

they live very

57:26

easily and they put the work in . So good

57:29

for them , absolutely . And

57:31

I'm OK

57:33

, I'm doing all right . I think it's you know , as

57:35

do is more , of course you can , but

57:38

I know the rule of enough . I've got enough for that

57:40

and yeah , I can have a bit more of a son

57:42

. But also know people who they're so obsessed

57:44

about . I need to have the letters

57:47

. Yeah , they're so big and

57:49

they live in to

57:51

hear with debts , they're

57:53

slave to their work , they can't do anything and

57:56

they're miserable . Yeah

57:59

, I've got someone .

58:00

I know Absolutely .

58:03

I've got a few properties and everything , and

58:05

he's just grumpy as

58:07

hell . He's not

58:09

happy with it . So again

58:12

, what is it ? What is the main thing ? I don't know . Well

58:15

, I've got an idea , but it's time

58:17

to work it out . But

58:20

yeah , I think it's . You've got to

58:22

know when you got enough , and what do you want and

58:24

what's your mission , my life , and what

58:27

does success and happiness

58:29

means to you , because it's not so easy .

58:32

I think ADHD people I do

58:34

firmly believe this ADHD and

58:36

neurodivergence across the board . What

58:40

makes them happy is

58:42

helping others .

58:45

I think of those exploring , being curious , having

58:47

fun . One of my very good friends

58:50

was my best man at my wedding . He's again typically

58:52

ADHD guy , Again like me

58:54

, he did martial arts . He's

58:56

then , after that , aged 40

58:58

and a bit . He stayed in Dubai because

59:01

he brought his kids from Dubai . He said

59:03

that looks like fun . I said we got

59:05

that question . I said oh sure , did he really

59:07

do it ? He studied gymnastics and

59:09

he then later on started to do jewelry

59:12

and now even started to

59:14

sewing , to do underwear , because

59:16

his wife was complaining about his other thing . But

59:18

he said how hard can it be ? I'm going to

59:20

do it and I did a good job of it . And

59:24

we were chatting about that actually

59:26

two weeks ago and for me , just I

59:28

want to discover things , I want to explore

59:30

things and have fun things , and there's

59:32

so many things to learn and explore . And what

59:36

do you want ? To stay at home and just watch TV

59:38

day in there ? I do watch TV , of course I do

59:40

, but you need

59:42

some curiosity .

59:44

We have the epic story of the underdogs that proved

59:46

everyone wrong and

59:49

then built something

59:51

that was so meaningful to people . I

59:55

mean , look at what you do . You

59:59

help people every day . Yes

1:00:02

, and

1:00:05

I think it's a superpower . I'm saying fucking it

1:00:07

, you're Superman to me If you can do

1:00:09

that , because it's

1:00:12

hard work .

1:00:15

It's hard work . It

1:00:18

doesn't have to be hard . I find

1:00:20

it fun . That's the difference

1:00:22

.

1:00:22

But fun can be hard too . It

1:00:25

can be . It can be . It can be To

1:00:27

me . I'm in sports . This is my sports

1:00:30

personality coming out now . I'm like I love the fucking

1:00:32

grinds , the underdogs , all that . It's like

1:00:34

, oh pain , no pain , no gain , all that bullshit

1:00:36

.

1:00:36

So I'm going to say that no pain .

1:00:38

Yeah , I'm going to edit all that out

1:00:40

. I can't even look at my teeth . I

1:00:43

don't like to be punched . Sometimes

1:00:46

I'm like just hit me , just hit me . But

1:00:49

no , I just

1:00:51

feel I started

1:00:54

this podcast because my wife's best friend took

1:00:56

her own life three years ago . She

1:00:58

was severely ADHD and

1:01:00

I think , at the end

1:01:02

of the day , what would have helped

1:01:04

her the most is

1:01:07

laughing , smiling , having

1:01:09

people , camaraderie

1:01:11

, all of those things to

1:01:14

say . We're not going to give up on you , connections

1:01:18

, connections . Which

1:01:20

is why every single Friday , anyone

1:01:23

that has been on this podcast in the past , if

1:01:25

they want to we just show up and shoot the shit

1:01:28

for an hour . It's fucking

1:01:30

hilarious , it's so fun . Everyone's

1:01:32

interrupting each other and it's you

1:01:34

know . People get it , but the thing

1:01:36

yeah , you need connections .

1:01:39

If you're on your own , you're going to whither

1:01:42

and die . Basically , unfortunately , that's

1:01:44

what's going to happen . Yeah , we

1:01:47

need connection with stimulation . I

1:01:49

think that's the

1:01:52

characteristic . The thing is . The thing

1:01:54

is what you say about laughter , the

1:01:56

one thing I love about the French version

1:01:59

of ADHD . The

1:02:01

acronym is Trouble d'attention

1:02:04

, avec le sang hyperactivité , I

1:02:07

think , but it spells TDAH

1:02:10

.

1:02:13

Oh my god , it's

1:02:17

brilliant . Ok , that's

1:02:19

it . You can't say anything else . That was the greatest

1:02:21

thing of all time .

1:02:25

And I love that . It's so joyful .

1:02:29

I am so using that . I'm copywriting it , I'm

1:02:31

using that every single time . You're

1:02:33

going to have to teach me how to speak French . That's

1:02:37

wow . God

1:02:39

, chris off . I did not expect my . You're

1:02:44

fucking amazing man .

1:02:46

Thank you , sir . This

1:02:48

is , then . You're pretty awesome at stuff as well , and doing what

1:02:50

you do as well with such consistency as well

1:02:52

, I think , is well done .

1:02:55

It's consistent , as I try to be . You

1:02:59

know it's a problem .

1:03:00

I know it is . Seriously

1:03:03

, I think , what you're doing there , what you're putting out

1:03:05

there , thank you , it's needed and we need more . So

1:03:08

I'm glad I could contribute

1:03:10

a bit there . Absolutely , he's

1:03:12

going to keep you can .

1:03:13

Just I'm telling you You're goddamn

1:03:16

right , I can Thank you . I needed that today

1:03:18

, ok

1:03:20

, so can you ? Will

1:03:22

you email me all your social media

1:03:25

stuff , because I didn't know you were on TikTok

1:03:27

or anything like that , so I want

1:03:29

to list .

1:03:30

I've just slide a bit lately because

1:03:33

, again , consistency , what that is . Well

1:03:35

, I just want to be

1:03:37

aware I'm YouTube , tiktok , my

1:03:40

, not my space anymore , what ?

1:03:41

is your , your hand . Is

1:03:44

this what social media people do ? It's a handle . Is that

1:03:46

what it's called ? I don't even know what it's

1:03:48

all over youth .

1:03:51

Well , the thing is well basically

1:03:53

.

1:03:54

Or do you even want that listed

1:03:56

in the description ?

1:03:58

My website is . The simplest thing is Folkestone

1:04:00

, folkestone , dash

1:04:03

hypnotherapy dot go dot UK and

1:04:05

from there you can find everything else . I'll send you the details

1:04:07

. Yes , OK , I'm

1:04:09

very bad at spelling , so I mean

1:04:11

I mean I mean Folkstone , which is a town in

1:04:14

on the coast and the UK near Dover

1:04:16

, and so when I walk my dog I can see

1:04:18

France over the channel , which is great . I love it .

1:04:21

I just want to be able to promote you in any way I can , because

1:04:24

you're putting out amazing shit and

1:04:26

you're saving people's lives , I

1:04:28

mean and I think as well

1:04:30

, just once in Warsaw I'm shameless

1:04:33

plug .

1:04:34

I do stuff online as well , so you don't

1:04:36

have to be local to contact me Because

1:04:39

, as you can see , we can just stuff from them perfectly fine

1:04:41

, I think you're like a million miles away

1:04:43

from me , and we can perfect that , so it

1:04:45

was just the same .

1:04:46

That's the good thing of technology .

1:04:48

You're six feet away or six thousand miles , I don't

1:04:50

care . To be fair where you are . I

1:04:53

think we can . We can help each other , or

1:04:55

we can , I love it , Christoph

1:04:57

Thank you , but you're very welcome and

1:05:00

it was great fun Actually I was .

1:05:02

You know what to expect , so yeah , I

1:05:05

mean , look , I will talk to anyone at

1:05:07

any time about any mental health , because

1:05:09

it's just , I

1:05:12

feel what you feel in terms

1:05:14

of like , give them a laugh , pump

1:05:16

them up a little bit . I mean , god damn

1:05:18

, like , why are we shitting on people ? Jesus

1:05:21

, your rule Don't be a dick . Global

1:05:24

, global

1:05:27

.

1:05:28

Don't be a dick . And if you're enjoying

1:05:31

it , what the hell are you ?

1:05:31

doing it , you literally just , I think , solved

1:05:34

all of world peace . Don't be a dick is

1:05:36

a global law . That's it .