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yea network

0:39

welcome to love letters to cali

0:41

i am kelly kelly raspberry robert

0:43

air minutes here and those sweet

0:45

little voices belong to

0:48

six year old scarlett your little brother

0:50

four year old lane other mom

0:52

making greens and it and said

0:54

arlington lane have been dying for me to record

0:56

them singing your jingle i listened to all

0:58

of your podcast reading a sandwich

1:01

and some love and i watch

1:03

out in addition to the love letters the kelly and

1:05

the kid product morning show the fishes

1:07

and sensitively listening robber or

1:10

are they are very familiar kids are very

1:12

familiar ha ha ha when they heard the other

1:14

kids song my daughter said she had the

1:16

at hers in there as well or scarlet you

1:18

did a beautiful job and you are so lovely

1:21

she said in a video t robert up and the way

1:23

that son as dance that across her blonde

1:25

hair know really read lips is gorgeous

1:28

and lane your katie to thank you both

1:30

for singing aging wonder and such a great

1:33

job are you robert i'm

1:35

pretty good i can't complain okay

1:37

i'm okay little love melancholy

1:40

i'll be honest robert why my daughter

1:42

just entered tenth grade she

1:45

had a melancholy is at the right word i'm looking for

1:47

the family happy were

1:49

hello happy you know i

1:51

work morning radio that's my job

1:54

and my real time job despite cast

1:56

is not a job in urban areas

1:58

but he does do this the time anyway

2:01

you know i've never been able to be there

2:03

for my daughter's first day of school except

2:05

for very very first

2:07

day and pre k nightmare it was a nightmare

2:10

the craddock may he rest in peace i

2:13

told him i'd like to be off take the my dot

2:15

my daughter's very first day of school

2:18

you know i didn't they didn't get to wake up with

2:20

or during the week ahead have a nanny some is summer all

2:22

our stuff as it but i don't want to miss out on

2:24

that the fight our i but

2:26

you have to do the show that morning anyway

2:29

we had the engineer to my house before

2:31

the show began went live at six to get all

2:33

the equipment set out sitting there

2:35

at the counter having to do the

2:37

show during commercial breaks had run back there

2:40

in the name he was get them kelly ready says missy which is

2:42

hectic you know so then i

2:44

saw it when they said were

2:47

said said okay i got leads they can be kelly to school now

2:49

i thought that's the end of my other

2:51

it's on the show

2:52

more the beginning

2:53

he said now

2:54

that

2:56

the i

2:57

rob the engineer is gonna go with you

2:59

and your gonna be live on i areas

3:01

you'd go to school so man emma

3:04

kelly's in the backseat

3:06

ginny were like a helmet

3:08

when i got a microphone middle

3:10

, go pile of fact man say

3:13

i had a headset

3:14

the big head and like you're wearing

3:16

the info on the way driving to school

3:19

he didn't come to me once oh

3:22

what they were talking about all sorts of other crap

3:24

going on i was so mad and it right when i

3:26

get to the school parking lot i pull

3:28

up and of course kids like one haven't recovered

3:30

back to you after this break as like know

3:32

i'm getting out to take her into class now it's like we've

3:34

got to take his with you i didn't

3:37

get permission they actually just walk

3:39

into school with an engineer with cameras

3:41

and and me on a might he's like

3:43

you have to do mckellen daddy was

3:45

so mad real and the kelly was

3:48

i was going on it was so awkward

3:50

of course the principles really nice about it it

3:52

was as a miserable experience that

3:55

i swore i would never ask a product

3:57

to give me a day off or eighty say

4:00

the do it that first day of school again and i didn't

4:04

why did learn the i'm

4:06

really gone up we'll get to love letters of the cigarette

4:08

when i did learn there is a rare occasion

4:11

that doesn't happen very often maybe one or two times

4:13

a year we're at we're off

4:15

from work at immokalee still has school and

4:18

she gets so excited because excited get to take

4:20

her to school that day there

4:22

is nothing beautiful about it is like

4:24

she's cranky she's tired i

4:26

just literally put on some bedroom shoes

4:29

we are driver drop off to school i

4:31

don't know what this magical stuff is

4:33

i felt like i was missing out on it

4:36

anyway it's still a bitter sweet moment spend

4:38

time looking everybody's first day of school

4:40

pick your i'm on the instagram

4:42

maybe on the morning show will play that again

4:45

what on our senior year

4:47

when do we play that audio her first day a

4:49

freak out

4:50

oh gosh do think we still have it

4:52

whether you're near we have now we have it easy

4:54

hacker what we can say that yeah she

4:57

starts you started tenth grade though and

4:59

every time i tell her i like yesterday as

5:01

like tint grades a really big deal she said you say

5:03

that every year as a what is

5:05

ever use a big deal

5:06

the big we are closer to you leaving

5:08

me

5:09

now anyway

5:11

there's an app in our own by the time the kids eighteen

5:13

years old they've spent ninety three percent

5:16

of their

5:16

i'm they will spend with their parents i

5:19

think that was the staff oh

5:21

yeah that's upsetting an

5:23

innocent people throw the curve off a little there but

5:26

that is this devastating then

5:28

i think about how you know i do with

5:30

my own parents i could be a better parent

5:32

to my my any better daughter to

5:34

my parents you know anyway

5:36

we need to be all more aware of that right and

5:38

right and of people wrote letters and i am taking

5:41

up all of youse tom madeline about

5:43

mack my issues

5:45

let's get started sally

5:46

that

5:48

kelly your the love expert i am love

5:50

you so much in love your podcast they keep me

5:52

entertained that work like wales in is

5:54

how do i know if i should have another baby

5:57

my husband and i both have children from previous marriages

5:59

a fourteen year old daughter and my husband has a fifteen

6:02

year old daughter and a thirteen year old son

6:05

we also have a two year old son that is the sweetest

6:07

addition to our crazy blended family i'm

6:09

thirty eight years old my husband's thirty nine so

6:11

i feel like we need to decide sooner rather

6:13

than later

6:14

reasons to not have another were

6:17

plenty busy with all four kids extra cost

6:19

of another child daycare cetera getting

6:21

older and risks increase reasons

6:24

to have another i loved children so

6:26

much i just want him all i feel like the two year

6:28

olds going to grow up as an only child which

6:30

is kind of how my fourteen year old grew up and

6:33

i know having siblings close in age

6:35

can be so far that i just be grateful

6:37

and thankful for the life and children that we

6:39

do have

6:40

well i always regret not having one more

6:42

here's my husband so sweet and loving he will

6:45

air on a side and be thankful for what we have

6:47

but if it's important to me how have another look

6:49

forward to your answer signed margaret

6:52

hey mark

6:52

hey how are you and

6:54

grade don't feel like

6:56

i can make the decision for you

6:58

right is that such a personal thing but

7:01

i will just and tell you that like in

7:03

my experience can

7:05

we the only child i've ever had naturally

7:07

you don't have my children with my my husband

7:10

now blended family and

7:12

, would have loved to have had

7:14

another baby with my husband you

7:16

know you love somebody you want to make babies whether middle

7:19

middle the he reminded me how old and tired we are

7:22

and so he x nade that nade

7:25

by it and it know but looking

7:27

back you know to i wish i would

7:29

have had another sibling for

7:31

emma kelly i do i wish i had

7:34

signed it wasn't in the cards for me you

7:37

had your husband's completely on board as long as

7:39

you're good with

7:40

well he would rather just stick with what we have

7:42

right a isn't necessarily want anymore

7:44

i'm the one that

7:45

more

7:47

no

7:48

right at eighteen your heart that can never

7:50

be filled the do you think it's a decision you could

7:53

live with

7:54

no that's the part i can't get over

7:56

shedding i don't wanna like wait too

7:58

long and then

7:59

you regret it for that's what she could do

8:02

all thirty talk to your doctor just because

8:04

i'm use had

8:05

you know a successful pregnancy recently

8:08

i wonder where you stand on your fertility journey now

8:10

wonder if you still you know or three little fertile

8:12

myrtle or if he's got some issues you

8:15

, that might be something

8:17

just to not rush into a decision

8:20

to at least talk to doctor and say

8:23

where do where do i say and what if i was

8:25

gonna have another baby

8:26

what if my timeline looks like and that way you

8:28

don't feel too too terribly pressured to making

8:30

a decision okay that's good

8:33

idea yeah and then whatever the doctor says

8:35

he might say you're good to go or tick tock

8:37

tick tock

8:38

yet the reproductive organs of a twenty

8:40

yeah you're you might be close assess

8:42

the you know that dreaded words area

8:44

pregnancy or yeah

8:46

i've years old you're geriatric robbery

8:49

come out and another per annum in

8:51

a straight ball of

8:54

you know if know if gonna veto i might you

8:56

i love babies are so sweet and cuddly

8:59

and i would have loved to have had

9:01

another baby it like i said

9:03

s opposition i can't make free but if i could

9:05

tip the scale of it i'd vote for

9:07

everything has now there's two girls

9:09

and boys

9:11

robert he's going it that there's a

9:13

h gap there

9:15

it's almost like a you in

9:17

a kelly has two older half sibling

9:20

my first marriage the mchenry fifteen

9:23

and her sister is what how

9:25

to see this your twenty seven they didn't have

9:27

much of relationship when immokalee

9:29

was really little because she was a teenager and like

9:31

that on have babies whenever they're older

9:34

he likes to go to concerts within the kelly

9:36

and she's taking more of an email as a

9:38

vested interest in a mcnally's lot

9:40

is she like being bigger sister to allen's boys though

9:42

oh yes she loves having a ban yeah

9:45

margaret you have at sibling relationship

9:47

already there

9:48

the hell is happening air

9:50

if you're asking me for my vote i vote

9:53

oh god i hate to do this because it's such a big

9:55

decision either baby

9:58

an adventure

9:59

thing by the thick of

10:02

thick just i could you know what because i want to have another

10:04

baby and ikea

10:05

no, baby i'm

10:06

not the one that has to carry

10:09

the baby and be up with it all night

10:11

and going, you know, while

10:13

my husband is and i'm the one cleaning poop

10:15

and vomit, you know? that's

10:17

that's you

10:17

he i

10:20

think we had such a easy baby

10:22

with this last one and it's been so

10:24

fun like we both

10:26

kind and list

10:28

as we were both going through divorces when

10:30

our kids were young so it's like this one's really

10:32

fun or in

10:34

the right place right totally get that

10:36

because you know when i was can we have five

10:39

yeah that's the last scary last

10:41

scary lot it's a lot of colleges to pay for

10:43

and

10:44

you know wearing have either that's that's but like

10:46

i said the way to you for can

10:48

afford to do something you never do it right with sars

10:50

kids go

10:51

there's always a where you figure out a way as

10:54

not really the financial thing isn't

10:56

the you wanna have kids when you're

10:58

a grandparent

10:59

your other kids could have kids and ten years

11:03

it's very true

11:04

the truly you know like you are saying you're going

11:07

to the divorce as light with so nice

11:09

to have a stress free experience

11:11

with as little one my i

11:13

was getting i was my marriage is falling

11:15

apart during my one and only pregnancy

11:17

boy that the main reason why would

11:19

have liked to that a do over here by

11:22

it is a lot to consider

11:24

what are your courses circle say your girlfriend

11:26

your mom

11:27

well everyone in my family all my

11:30

side of family their baby lovers so

11:32

everyone with totally

11:34

one another baby now my

11:37

husband side of the family they're more practical

11:40

choose choose enough babies yeah

11:42

the amount rifle coffee

11:44

it is a lie like a said it's it's that's

11:46

the best the you decision i mean

11:49

the guy has been so great and some dads are

11:51

more involved than others but so much of it does

11:53

fall on them on this is the way it

11:55

is the that

11:58

aside if you're up for it

11:59

it that i do have a good

12:02

baby

12:04

i want to start with the doctor

12:06

has some glass and they're fine line i

12:08

think will help yeah that will you can

12:11

a know okay we gotta make a decision what

12:13

we're going to do here and then that might when

12:15

your backs up against the wall you might realize you know why

12:17

we're good ally as my family's good

12:20

and then you might have that longing when you go through

12:22

the department store and you out by that baby sex

12:24

and a

12:24

i dropped to your knees cause your womb is weeping

12:27

the gotta have what know like a

12:29

you know if seventy the right

12:31

decision it's nice to get

12:34

outside your opinion go yeah

12:36

so good luck if i if

12:38

you need can help coming up with another baby named

12:41

rightly that business i will

12:43

i will arise thank you

12:46

thank you so much

12:47

your kelly you are the love expert i am

12:50

this guy and i have been on and off for five

12:52

years we struggle communicating his

12:54

friends don't like me and are very mean to me because

12:56

events too

12:57

the hold back telling them all the good things

12:59

and his people only hear about the bad stuff i

13:02

don't have friends because i don't want to be friends with people

13:04

who disrespect my partner my relationship

13:06

with him he has a friend that says

13:08

she's been sleeping with him but he says

13:10

they are we recently talked

13:13

about our relationship and it's easier to stay

13:15

in this relationship because for the last

13:17

five years we are all we know our

13:19

drama chaos love fight's good times

13:22

it's good when it's good but it's bad when it's bad

13:24

i'm asking for therapy to communicate better

13:26

and he says now

13:28

i love him and he loves me but what do you think

13:30

we should do so we just stop or

13:32

how can i get him to try therapy

13:34

yeah

13:36

yeah

13:37

i had a cast fan and here

13:40

you're telling me you had no friends

13:43

is that what you're saying in his letter that

13:45

his friends felt like you

13:47

you have no friends because you don't wanna be

13:50

around anybody who doesn't the poor

13:52

you and say and is right no

13:54

matter what even as and making stupid

13:56

life decisions

13:57

we're her friends and we're going to support

13:59

one hundred percent though those

14:02

people who might tell you the truth about

14:04

you're going down the wrong path you just get

14:06

rid of them and don't listen to them because

14:09

they're not saying what you want to hear that's

14:11

what i'm hearing her and and

14:13

is problem here

14:14

i think the problem is an we're

14:17

not gonna be minimum if

14:20

you know if you refuse to have any friends who

14:22

don't say and do exactly what you want to hear

14:24

it if all of his friends can't

14:26

stand you because your boyfriends run his mouth and

14:28

whatever and is probably based on a little bit of their

14:30

personal experience with you and i'm just guessing

14:33

you if you know they don't like you probably don't

14:35

come over there

14:37

you probably come over when they are

14:39

around with a chip on your shoulder you

14:41

know like me anyway sassy i'm just imagining

14:44

this an it also

14:47

that the therapy thing if

14:49

he if he won't go to therapy what's stopping

14:51

you from going to therapy i

14:53

come back to every a lot of men resisted

14:56

i think more and more men are getting more open

14:58

to the idea of it because i see not

15:01

too many years ago military asking

15:03

for help and sign of weakness that now

15:06

that we're understanding the understanding the

15:08

of mental health and emotional health

15:10

that a lot of men are more open to that the your guys

15:12

not there yet why don't you go

15:14

to therapy you can get a lot of these

15:17

issues resolved maybe

15:19

it's a hundred percent him and it has an and

15:21

and and i'm completely wrong they have

15:23

a feeling you're the problem your major

15:25

player here at least fifty fifty

15:28

though

15:29

they just terrified the cards you're stacked against this

15:31

relationship and if the only reason

15:33

you're in it is because you to don't

15:36

have anybody else that's not a reason to stay

15:38

in a row

15:38

read or just to stay kelly

15:40

that's not a reason to say in a relationship

15:42

it's exhausting when people

15:44

tell me how hard they have to fight relationship

15:46

my

15:47

why would you say in a relationship you have to literally

15:50

fight for every day i

15:52

understand the relations subset your troubles

15:54

i'm not saying everything should be gray every

15:57

day my husband

15:58

they had

15:59

the big fights and ten sometimes

16:02

it's

16:03

com week or harder than others

16:04

right you can run this

16:07

is my life fighting and my husband day

16:09

in and day out

16:10

why did you make this marriage work six

16:12

months later on friday every day what

16:15

about what are you fighting for this

16:17

is it it's not a good sign

16:19

even after five years and i

16:22

want you even if you're not gonna listen to me a break

16:24

up of them to the know you're not i want you

16:26

to go to therapy or you to do

16:28

that and at least how

16:30

can somebody who can give you an outside perspective

16:33

and get a clearer picture of what's going on

16:36

why you don't have been

16:38

why

16:40

you know why you're in this very toxic relationship

16:43

what are you getting out of it because it is benefiting

16:45

u and somewhere you instead

16:49

my

16:51

hey robert want to take a second you know we've

16:53

talked about nature fall here on the podcast

16:55

for a while but it's interesting

16:58

you know a lot of women deal with singing

17:00

or week and hair and the really

17:02

embarrassed by at they do whatever they can to

17:04

catch had a hide it that there's

17:06

no need to hide it when there's actually something you can do

17:08

about it with new for fall and i

17:11

think accident that a more glowing endorsement

17:13

for it they when i went to get my hair done and

17:16

my hairdresser albano he

17:18

was like uses that exit his attorney

17:21

he said have you heard of this new so for he has he

17:23

didn't listen to me he was like oh my god

17:25

i gotta tell you that this neutral fall he said my

17:27

client him in here and she had the thinnest

17:29

hair and it's getting growing back and

17:31

i'm like what have you done he said it's a new football

17:33

he said it really works and that's

17:35

a may dislike up in our home

17:37

can see the difference for himself as

17:39

he sees a like once every six weeks

17:41

or so right and so that's the thing when you're looking

17:44

yourself in the mirror every day you might not

17:46

notice so subtle changes that were he only caesar

17:48

like once every six weeks it's like boom and

17:50

that's the thing with neutral fall it's

17:52

not just an older woman thing sometimes you're

17:54

young and stress

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start noticing your hair's falling out or whatever

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but healthier growth does take

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time ah right in fact in a

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so hang in there and give miserable a try

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i think you'd be really pleased

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20:02

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20:05

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20:10

kelly you are the love expert i am i don't

20:12

wanna sound like a brat and if i am pleased

20:14

to say so i'm a mom of two

20:16

elementary kids and struggling immensely with

20:18

work life balance my husband my husband both

20:20

work he's in construction requiring very

20:23

early in office onside hours and

20:25

i'm in an office hybrid said

20:27

i make six figures plus bonuses slow

20:29

girl perfect right yes

20:31

yes i'm struggling with the nine to five requirements

20:34

of my job and always being a one hundred percent attentive

20:36

during those hours if only i could

20:38

work my hours and on my schedule an hour

20:40

here six they are to they are not on friday

20:42

may be sundays okay it's cetera i

20:45

am i being unrealistic are what for

20:48

what it's worth we have no family help

20:50

it's just mom and dad doing all the kid things

20:52

camp sports doctor visits sleep overs

20:54

asking for help from my parents is just well

20:57

meaning i don't feel good enough to be

20:59

there for my kids so do i suck it

21:01

up buttercup are do i have another or do

21:03

you have another suggestion to ease

21:05

the smallest guilt and anxiety

21:07

struggling mama and why

21:09

mama listen

21:11

why is it the meaning to ask

21:13

i don't understand why you chose that word

21:16

maybe it shows that word and correctly

21:18

or maybe you really mean it but

21:20

i don't understand we were just talking about

21:22

somebody who's sign of weakness

21:24

ask for help green

21:26

or anyhow we're just talking

21:28

earlier about you know my daughter's first day of school

21:31

and i was talking about the nanny i love you

21:33

talk about the mom guilt i had because

21:35

i couldn't be there for my daughter's mornings

21:38

every day i'd never had friendships

21:40

with the other school mom's when she was elementary

21:42

school cause i was always at work whenever

21:45

she was having these past parties and things and

21:48

if i didn't have help i couldn't have done

21:50

it

21:50

the mchenry

21:52

look at me i put my daughter by she

21:54

says t now and i

21:56

will apologize to her for certain things

21:58

that one day she

21:59

apologize and are presenting it and

22:02

she was like what what are you polish icing for

22:04

and she's like you she shouldn't have any negative

22:06

memories of may as being a bad mom and

22:09

i missed out on a ton of stuff but

22:11

when i was there was there that would

22:13

be kids back in school isn't that change things up

22:16

i would think i'm don't thousand and

22:18

grandma want to be there

22:19

for certain way it's site

22:21

just because you can't be there to pick up little

22:23

billy every day from school i

22:26

mean that that's not the end of the world

22:29

you know i could never take my daughter is in the

22:31

way my schedule work i could drop

22:33

me off my daughter offer school every morning but

22:35

i could pick up

22:36

the answer is way more financial yellow or

22:38

yeah so book but heroic

22:40

and the tell her maybe with your nine to five

22:43

schedule you have the ability to drop off the kids

22:45

from school but like grandma pick him up in

22:47

the afternoon how beautiful

22:49

are your parents to have a really

22:51

great closed intimate relationship

22:53

with your kids you know on

22:55

my mother and father moved halfway

22:58

across the country so date

23:00

is my brother and i both lived here and they

23:02

weren't having it they weren't having that with their grandkids

23:05

and so now my mother

23:06

the here she's got a beautiful relationship and

23:09

we

23:10

really just happy that was able to happen i

23:12

don't understand why you like is the meaning to ask your parents

23:14

for help you not asking for money

23:17

you're asking them to bail you out of a bad

23:19

life decision you're just saying hey

23:21

i'm a little overwhelmed

23:23

i'd say up here yeah success

23:25

you're making six figures balances that's awesome

23:29

that's for help there's nothing wrong

23:31

with that and if you don't want to ask for your

23:33

parents if there's some sort a dynamic their that's

23:35

weird

23:36

there's maybe a fellow man because i

23:39

with our situation

23:40

i have a mom that that my daughter's friends

23:43

with her daughter and we switch

23:45

off carpool days because some day

23:47

she has to work in it was a struggle for

23:49

her and so we just made it work

23:51

where i pick up the kid some days and she does there's

23:54

ways around it but don't feel like you have to do

23:56

one hundred percent of everything are your kids gonna think

23:58

you are a bad man

23:59

then i'll

23:59

the other moms are going to talk about it

24:01

and or stay at home and listen

24:03

the typewriter and yeah

24:05

an all this mom's

24:07

that are stay at home mom said as a tough

24:09

job because a lot of times is boring as

24:11

hell i'd i was even tell you micheli

24:14

that ever day when you are a little toddler before

24:16

he started talking and i would just sit there on the floor

24:18

and play blocks with you all day i wanted to that

24:20

my i doubt it was a boring you know

24:22

lot of the in a lot of the to

24:25

say home mom stuff is a little mundane

24:27

and ritual and as that a clean the bottles

24:29

i guess you know

24:31

the his work it is stressful and it is

24:33

worth

24:34

i don't think just because they

24:37

are stay at home moms that they

24:39

when the mom of ward you

24:41

can be a great mom that happens to have

24:43

a job

24:44

and you're he and you provide for your kids

24:47

and when you're there you're there and

24:49

every once in awhile you know what you can't

24:51

be there

24:52

and kids have to deal with disappointment if your

24:54

child never deals with disappointment

24:57

you're going to be screwed as an adult they

24:59

have to learn some times that that

25:02

doesn't go your way and sometimes

25:04

you lose and sometimes it's

25:06

not fair that you know

25:08

i'd i'd you know even though i should

25:10

have one i didn't

25:12

the have to learn how to handle those things

25:14

as children i have really

25:16

give you your long answer on that

25:18

the ask for help that's that the bottom line

25:20

is ashraf help uncover some your parents or whoever

25:23

that you're not a bad mom if you ask

25:25

for help

25:26

your kelly you are the love expert and

25:28

first of all let me say your show has helped me so much

25:30

with my fiance and i remember listening

25:32

this time last year ready to throw in the towel

25:35

and he gave me so much good advice i did

25:37

counseling by myself at first and

25:39

learn so much of the right tools to deal with someone

25:41

who has anger issues he was always quick

25:43

to say things to hurt me but we are so much better

25:45

now and he stopped that among other things

25:48

anyway i need your advice with my mother

25:50

in law we've always had always good relationship

25:52

but an issue came up this last week we're

25:55

weeks away from the wedding and she has pulled

25:57

out oh so she's always

25:59

jumping from the job always quitting and

26:01

struggling asking for money to borrow and

26:03

we almost always give it to our without issue

26:05

without asking to be paid back ever well

26:07

this past weekend she has to borrow a small amount

26:10

but we're just buy school clothes for our for kid

26:13

them are blended family we have a good amount

26:15

in our savings account but all that spoken for

26:17

the photographer the dj cetera it's

26:19

just the last of what we owe our vendors so we don't

26:21

want to touch that unless it's an emergency and

26:23

then we replenish anyway

26:26

so we told her no and she wrote my fiance

26:28

this long message to enjoy our

26:30

wedding day and that she doesn't have money to afford

26:32

to go ah mind you i've already

26:34

told her i'm paying for hair to be done and i mentioned

26:36

going to look for dresses that i didn't offer to

26:38

pay for that yet but i was planning to offer

26:41

when she found the dress

26:43

anyway she told him she's not going to go anymore

26:45

and neither is his younger brother who is

26:47

one of our groomsmen and my fiance

26:49

as crust he acted like he didn't bother

26:51

him now but he's been super stressed out lately

26:53

and i read and text he sent to his half brother

26:55

from half different mom

26:57

begging to please com because his mom and younger

26:59

brother aren't com it doesn't

27:01

like to talk about us feeling so he's been acting like

27:03

he doesn't care but that's the only family

27:05

he had his father's deceased and

27:07

his aunts and uncles are on drugs are locked up alma

27:10

so the petty and me as wife whatever

27:12

than don't go you're going to miss a major milestone for

27:14

your oldest son over a couple of bucks okay

27:17

that seeing that my fiance is really hurt by this

27:19

i couldn't even imagine doing this without my mom

27:22

it makes me super emotion there are three thinking

27:24

about going to talk to her about it and letting her know

27:26

she heard him and that we really want her their

27:29

i might make it worse because she's a hot headed

27:31

tends to fly off the handle though should

27:33

i just leave it and letter show up as she wants

27:35

or should i go and try and talk to you

27:38

never done anything like this before so do you think

27:40

it might be something else sign that

27:42

enough is to be stressed out about

27:44

well she never done anything like this

27:46

before because you never told her no before

27:49

the end

27:50

the is emotionally abusive she

27:53

is an emotionally abusive woman

27:55

you don't get me what i want i'm in a punish you

27:57

and i'm in a room and and as beautiful day of your life because

27:59

you told me

27:59

and after you've helped me out hundreds

28:02

that is a matter your me now you're awful

28:04

your horrible human being and i'm gonna show you and not

28:06

only am i not and a com and not let your brother

28:08

come either she's a

28:09

horrible horrible

28:11

manipulative person but it's still

28:13

your your husband debate mother

28:15

and he loves her and it's hard

28:17

because i do know people who has dealt with

28:19

mothers and it's i think i now

28:22

i find it's one thing if the said god

28:24

that may be is like a little bit on the

28:27

the cake either i guess is the right way to say

28:29

it would is your mom that's

28:32

gotta hit it a different level of

28:35

this

28:36

the guy isn't bad

28:39

this bad so i would not go to

28:41

her privately behind your fiance spat know

28:44

do not do that by

28:46

you need to go to him and say look

28:49

if it

28:52

tell you if you don't give

28:54

her money for whatever to she needed was it just for

28:56

the wedding expenses are was other stuff

28:58

it was they

29:00

said no for other side

29:02

that's right

29:04

yeah so there for

29:06

three years at some point you gotta say no or

29:08

this is never going to end and every time

29:10

you know you might say yes here yes there will we can

29:12

afford it but every time you say no you're going to go down

29:14

the same path again it just happens to be you're getting married

29:16

when he said no this time that is never

29:18

going to stop your husband

29:21

needs to be in therapy to learn how to deal

29:23

with that kind of daughter and

29:25

mother son relationship because that's

29:27

that's i'm not a therapist i'm not

29:29

a psychologist that's a different thing

29:31

that there's a lot of needs to be unpacked and dealt

29:34

with their the , not that her

29:36

behind his back you go to him and say look

29:38

as it is that i don't want to stay

29:40

to be ruined to it for you is

29:42

it less stressful for you tell

29:44

me out honey i love you this is

29:46

your day as much as as mine as much as we say it's the

29:48

broads day i know you love your man

29:51

would it be more stressful for you

29:54

for her to be there

29:57

or night

29:59

knowing that if

29:59

there that means route to give or the manager

30:01

the classic couple grand what

30:03

money is going to hurt us in other ways made

30:05

the have to make some changes into what you want you're going

30:07

to suffer you might not be able to do some

30:09

fun stuff you wanted to do might be a lane christmas

30:13

if it's going to make a difference

30:15

in you're in in how you look back on this

30:17

day

30:18

i'm only the second out and give her this money this

30:21

but we always say this is go be the last time

30:23

don't way we always say that that

30:25

these people who come at

30:27

you for money they are master

30:29

manipulators the and

30:32

when they finally i dealt

30:34

with this before where i had somebody that

30:36

kept coming back to me for cash and

30:38

it is whatever worked in that moment

30:40

is what they had to do whatever tool in

30:42

their tool kit they had used tears

30:46

the fear your

30:48

frustration whatever it is to get that money out

30:50

any

30:51

and once they got it oh everything's back to normal

30:53

then right when you shut

30:55

that door on a purse and sometimes

30:57

that means you're shutting that to the door on the

30:59

relationship one hundred percent because

31:02

if you stop given him cast they're just gonna

31:04

go find somebody else that will

31:06

that's it as bottom mind as how these people

31:08

operate

31:09

stop get money for me okay i'm done with

31:11

you who can i go turn on the waterworks

31:13

and guilt trip and make them

31:16

pay for everything that i'm not willing to get up

31:18

off not button work for right

31:21

though

31:23

i'm not gonna tell you this

31:25

your wedding and is your man

31:28

and these are your feelings not mine

31:31

by i have been victimized hi

31:34

by someone for money before at

31:37

some point you just draw a line in the sand and

31:39

say enough and i hate that it's a mother

31:41

and the situation

31:44

and i give her advice robert did i get

31:46

now if you as a united

31:48

front you go in i'm willing to

31:51

the runway

31:52

then and have yada sad for her not to be

31:54

there

31:55

well you know that's hurt that's more

31:57

her decision and

31:58

there's that's her on her

32:00

and in a moving forward it's you

32:02

and him it's you and have a message you gotta

32:04

focus on

32:09

your kelly you are the love expert i am i'm

32:11

fifty years old with a seventeen year old daughter

32:14

twice without and living with the word

32:16

of god i've been single

32:18

for almost six years i'm years gentleman who doesn't

32:20

believe in holding hands before marriage all

32:22

but the problem is i've only had the pleasure

32:24

of dating one woman and that lasted only three

32:27

it was a two hour one

32:29

way long distance relationship that didn't turn

32:31

out to be lot i have extreme social

32:33

anxiety when it comes to someone i'm attracted to

32:36

i don't drink i don't smoke or use drugs

32:38

nor do we believe in dating divorcees

32:40

are using dating site

32:42

opie anthony

32:43

can't help you anthony i can i the

32:46

co

32:47

your rules are so

32:49

rigid and strip

32:51

you're gonna have to look inside

32:54

your church wherever you are

32:56

and just focus on women who

32:58

have been widowed

33:00

for who have never been married we can't date

33:02

divorcee the not divorcee

33:04

they have to it that you say your criteria

33:06

is it has to be a woman so

33:09

devoted to religion and god that

33:11

she will not even hold hands and

33:14

she's never

33:16

then you got to meet in person cause you can't use it they dislike

33:18

is too much i i can i help you

33:20

there to women in the world that you

33:22

can bet your

33:24

like

33:24

you know a slight

33:26

i had a call to take a young man

33:28

a lot of people who are very religious they

33:30

say themselves for marriage right and

33:34

they were over a was that athlete low

33:36

lenore jones

33:37

i don't know if it was for religious reasons or what with

33:39

her but she's upset she's meeting the saving

33:42

yourself her marriage and now she's getting up where her

33:44

fertility clocks running out for and

33:46

she's like a so haven't found the one and now she's looking

33:48

at other issues and i don't know thats for religious reasons

33:51

or not and i was talking to her a

33:53

guy friend of mine then he

33:55

very religious is one of the save himself for marriage

33:57

but he was getting older

33:59

the older and older and he was

34:01

starting to get into his thirties and

34:04

now he was being really judgmental because

34:06

he had this long list of

34:08

absolute requirements for the woman he was gonna

34:10

marry and one of those was that she

34:12

had to be a virgin

34:14

and i told him i said you know that that

34:16

the problem is is the older you get

34:19

it even in religious circles

34:21

you might need a divorcee or someone

34:24

you know who is

34:25

maybe

34:26

had sex one time and maybe

34:29

like you know what might my religious

34:31

beliefs

34:32

hi rick i've prayed about it that's not

34:34

what i want to do and as spent the next

34:36

ten years living a chaste live

34:39

he said as not good enough he was

34:41

he stuck his gone

34:43

a demand and insisted on having a virgin

34:46

post hard to say you know not everything is

34:48

black and white be older you get accepted

34:50

this me as gave him he's i am

34:53

i'm

34:53

there fifty

34:55

the family on an out celebrities

34:58

the to your guns stick to your morals the

35:00

secure values are one hundred percent

35:03

why

35:04

you might be faced with the fact

35:06

that you're done

35:08

dating

35:10

were you don't even bleeding dating

35:11

yeah i guess i don't understand that

35:13

that if you're that

35:16

there in your ways you might have to accept

35:19

the fact that you've now run out of options

35:22

you might have to do

35:23

a little bit on some of those options

35:26

what if a woman is divorced through

35:28

no fault of her own

35:29

the man was a horrible

35:32

abuses

35:33

cheater

35:35

that she was trying to keep it together

35:37

because she made of our before god right this

35:39

is what you're looking for dude you're looking for a woman

35:41

who committed and see

35:44

if he didn't die honor he abandoned

35:46

her you're going to tell me that

35:48

she's tainted goods

35:50

the not good enough

35:51

just because

35:52

this because you can't pay

35:54

that big of a brush you know

35:58

i get the religious part of it

36:00

that you can't be that black and white but

36:02

again fifty

36:05

whatever you can i help you if you're going to be that

36:07

rigid

36:08

though i don't know

36:09

maybe there's as ease have to go to church

36:12

and finds the but how to use and get to that point the conversation

36:15

though you ever done and

36:18

, get to that way has eczema

36:20

i don't know so i every married

36:22

before yeah

36:23

is he dead

36:25

he knows live with your out you

36:28

know vermont

36:29

am i will end it would dare

36:31

kelly you are the love expert i am i'm a long

36:33

time listener and i just wanted to write thank you for

36:36

your fantastic love advice throughout the years

36:38

you out then i started listening to the show because

36:40

it was my mom's favorite way to start the day and we

36:42

would listen every morning as to drop me off or school ah

36:45

sometimes we'd even go the long way just finished

36:47

a segment especially if love letters to kelly

36:49

was on and that's her favorite part of the even

36:51

though i've never written in your expert advice

36:54

as help me navigate life and go up into the

36:56

young woman i am now speaking of

36:58

which i started my first job this week when

37:00

i got into the car none other than love

37:02

letters the kelly started playing on the radio

37:04

on my nerves subsided i instantly

37:06

knew i was going to have a good day so once again

37:08

thanks so much for the advice on the radio

37:10

and on the podcast for years and just know you

37:12

always have a loyal listener turbo yes

37:15

i know she's listening i love you mom that

37:18

find julia

37:19

ah that's so sweet onto

37:21

a julius job is

37:23

i don't know what that's so sweet thank

37:26

you i love hearing on

37:28

i get a lot of it lately as you know i'm getting up

37:30

there roberts and i have

37:32

young women a young men come up to me

37:35

and

37:35

the to say how how they have

37:37

such great memories of being in the car

37:39

with their mom going to school and listening

37:42

to the radio so it's a good memory i love being part

37:44

of people's

37:44

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy

37:46

i appreciate the iron almost shed a tear

37:49

on a memory as someone shit on tic toc

37:51

the other day it was was

37:53

and i guess her parents had

37:55

kind of moved away but her grandpa still lived

37:57

near her she was probably i don't know five

38:00

and her grandpa center attacks i guess

38:03

they they do have a dinner once a week

38:05

or something and he was like hey i'm

38:07

really wanting banana ice cream

38:09

or whatever it was and then he said for

38:11

another ten

38:12

they can you pick up this and so three

38:15

or four tax later and she's collect

38:17

so anyway and she goes over there and then

38:20

you made the bad so she could have a slumber party

38:23

would you like you waste a for a slumber party

38:25

always there when she's a little girl all of

38:27

them by the time she got into the bed

38:29

that night it into the tic toc like she was crying

38:32

it was very sweet but anyway

38:33

i know if the guy just memory all you

38:35

have is your memories and i

38:37

maybe target proper just visualizing

38:39

that but to be apart people's memories

38:41

is so special and you know that's with the thing

38:43

i'm gonna shift gears here is like

38:46

either that's why three

38:48

appreciate all the efforts has been done for alzheimer's

38:50

work

38:51

analysis like taking a complete one eighty

38:53

here and i apologize that my mother priced i

38:55

with alzheimer's and i thought was is the saddest

38:57

saddest thing to watch somebody in

38:59

their final stages of life to lose all their

39:01

memories because at that point where you have you know

39:04

and the few as she was losing her memories

39:06

and and not recognizing as this is the sad

39:08

thing so anyway

39:10

memories are so are so

39:13

and i think we take for granted a lot of opportunities

39:15

we had to make memories now because

39:17

we're all honored damned phone's too much

39:19

there is a trade yeah

39:21

the always opportunity

39:23

i i will walk into

39:25

a restaurant i'll look at a table full of then

39:28

teenagers the now and there you can

39:30

be having fun and her every one of them scott their face

39:32

down on the phone i'm guilty of it too

39:34

so we've got to look at property

39:36

these to create memories the you follow

39:38

witty idiot on picked out probably

39:40

the area on instagram i'll write it

39:42

down at witty idiot

39:44

and on on instagram

39:45

com a instagram he's on instagram

39:48

of however why grandmother has

39:50

alzheimer's

39:51

and the other day she has

39:53

since moved in with his pants and

39:56

he was living in the grandma's house until

39:58

they sold it so now they're all back under

40:01

one roof and the other day

40:03

she doesn't remember

40:05

a lot of

40:06

in he did something in her caretaker was

40:08

there and she said something about oh

40:10

my grandson is so sweet or something and he

40:13

management doesn't remember last day i was

40:15

or that one random thing but he was like oh my

40:17

god she remit she knows who i am today

40:19

no only says heartbreaking

40:22

that anyway it's i hear they're making great

40:24

strides in that hopefully we'll see i

40:26

would love to see a cure for it my lifetime i don't

40:29

know but

40:30

modern miracles you never know anyway thank

40:32

you for sharing that it took me down a little mutton

40:34

town but also also

40:36

you megan green for sending and sweet little

40:38

scarlet and lane singing the love letters to kelly

40:40

jingle today and thank you for all your letters of

40:43

for advice with sweet compliments i appreciate

40:45

all of it i'm love letters to kelly

40:47

dot com is where you go to submit

40:49

letters and jingles and we will see

40:51

you again next week thanks y'all

40:54

this episode is brought to you by ashley

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