0:00

welcome Teresa. Thanks, Tabitha.

0:03

I really happy to be here. So happy to have you here.

0:06

I feel like we really,

0:06

really, all of us need this.

0:10

Yeah, it's better time.

0:13

It has been a time. It's definitely been a time.

0:17

So I invited you on because while

0:17

I've been wanting to have you on

0:21

for a while, and we've been talking

0:21

about this and it finally is

0:25

happening the day after Thanksgiving.

0:29

Yes. It's auspicious or lesson

0:30

bless the time of Thanksgiving.

0:35

Yeah. Yeah. I think I hope we all feel that

0:37

way about it on some level.

0:41

Yeah. Sometimes you have to dig for gratitude.

0:45

Like I have a warm cup of

0:45

tea in my hands right now.

0:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:50

Simple. We do. We do, we do have to dig

0:52

my boyfriend yesterday.

0:55

He's like, let's think of things we're

0:55

grateful for in the middle of just

1:00

working through stuff and it was good.

1:03

Yeah, it was. It's always good. Yeah. Yeah.

1:07

What are you grateful for this year? One thing.

1:11

Oh, just one. Okay. I'm grateful that I'm able to see

1:13

the possibilities and a larger

1:19

context around what is happening

1:19

now, because that keeps me grounded.

1:24

Hmm. I love that. That's good.

1:28

And you came up with just one. That's amazing.

1:31

Oh yeah. Yeah.

1:33

I agree. I agree. I feel like if, if you've got,

1:34

yeah, I'm feeling that way too.

1:39

I feel heavy, but I also feel like

1:39

it's also, hasn't been, you know, Being

1:45

able to keep perspective, I think. Yeah.

1:48

Right. And I'm sure people living

1:49

through plugs and things to

1:52

different eons have felt the same.

1:55

And there's another side. It's always, there's the, so yeah.

2:01

I love that deep breath breath.

2:05

we met. I'm trying to remember when we met a year,

2:06

at least maybe two, maybe two years ago.

2:13

Yeah. Yeah. my doctor sent me to you actually.

2:18

I have no idea how that happened. But I was going to have Rolfing done

2:20

and I did, and that was a bit of a

2:25

journey of itself, but that's how we

2:25

met and I just found you to be amazing.

2:35

Thank you. Yeah. Yeah.

2:38

I, it was, you have such an overall,

2:38

like healing presence, I would say.

2:44

I think that's just, you know,

2:44

that's how I would put it.

2:49

you work the entire system.

2:52

I think you take the whole person

2:52

into account, which is what you do.

2:55

You're an embodiment coach. Yeah.

2:58

So tell us some more about that. Well, I am an embodiment coach

3:01

and what's called the somatic

3:05

education educator or coach.

3:08

And it really does take

3:08

in the whole being.

3:13

For all of us, I've found I've been

3:13

at this over 30 years and I've,

3:19

I've really found that you can't

3:19

take anything apart in parts and

3:23

not connect it to the whole it's. that's an old paradigm.

3:27

You know, the paradigm we're working

3:27

in now is that we, everything

3:30

within us, without us is connected.

3:33

It's a quantum physics

3:33

kind of perspective.

3:37

And, we can't avoid it. So.

3:41

When someone comes in, I don't

3:41

know what they're bringing in.

3:46

I just know that it's again, about the

3:46

context that one holds for the experience.

3:52

It has to be larger than we're

3:52

going to work on this body part.

3:56

Never would. It is right?

3:59

Yeah. Yeah. It's true.

4:01

It's never what it is. So tell me.

4:04

30 years ago when you were getting

4:04

into this why did you get into it?

4:09

That's a great story. I, as far as Rolfing

4:10

goes, we can start there.

4:13

I had been doing, some bodywork, some

4:13

holistic massage therapy before that,

4:18

but Rolfing really was my colleague

4:18

and Rolfing came knocking on my door.

4:23

I had a man, Jerry van DeVelder who

4:23

came knocking on my door, looking

4:27

for an apartment I have for rent. And he was a golfer.

4:31

So my new career came

4:31

knocking on my door and.

4:34

And let them in then, and

4:34

it started a whole process.

4:37

Once I knew what the work was and

4:37

had experienced the work and my son

4:41

had experienced the work I knew, and

4:41

every fiber of my own being this,

4:47

that, that was what I had been looking

4:47

for and nothing was going to stop

4:51

me and taking that training, which

4:51

wasn't easy for me at that time.

4:55

But I did it and never looked back.

4:59

Wow. So interesting. No, 83, I think when he

5:01

showed up at my door.

5:04

Oh, wow. That's so cool.

5:06

I could see how it would do that. Definitely just going through it myself.

5:10

And I know there was a time when

5:10

I was like looking up training.

5:13

I was like, Oh, this would never too late.

5:17

Never too late. And I'm not going to say

5:18

never, maybe someday.

5:22

That's right. Yeah. But I can see how that would

5:24

be your experience of it.

5:29

Definitely. Yeah, for me, it started off a way of.

5:35

Changing how I looked

5:35

at working with people.

5:38

I had been a little bit frustrated that

5:38

people kept coming back with the same

5:43

old, same old, same old and dressing,

5:43

the same old, same old, same old.

5:47

And I knew there had to be something more

5:47

transformative for both of us so that

5:53

we weren't caught in our relationship.

5:57

The same way, doing the

5:57

same thing over and over.

6:00

So when I experienced Rolfing

6:00

and it wasn't a transformative

6:03

process changed and I didn't need

6:03

the same kinds of therapies myself

6:09

or the same kind of interventions

6:09

place, help that I needed before.

6:13

And that's what I wanted for other people.

6:16

It's a terrible business model because.

6:18

So true. I'm very free and for both

6:20

of us, cause it's great.

6:23

It's an empowering thing. You know, you know that one of the

6:24

things I say to Pete, we'll add Tom,

6:29

the completion of our 10 session

6:29

series is go forth and integrate.

6:33

It's like now all that you've learned

6:33

your education and your experience.

6:39

It's up to you now to take

6:39

that and integrate it into your

6:42

life and then see what happens. Yeah.

6:44

I love that. I think, I think I had been trying to

6:45

kind of find, I don't know, I didn't

6:50

know what I was looking for, but I know

6:50

after walking away from working with

6:55

you, I definitely had the ability to

6:55

be a lot more aware and present and.

7:03

In my everyday life. And it just really kind of changed

7:05

the way I just approached everything

7:10

and it was approaching things. It wasn't just kind of like

7:11

reacting to everything.

7:14

It was more like, Oh yeah.

7:17

So yeah, it just, it definitely

7:17

opened up much more awareness and

7:21

the ability to do that in the moment.

7:24

Yeah. And that really is the embodiment process.

7:27

When I think about, embodiment, as we

7:27

talked about a little theme of coming home

7:32

for the holidays, the holidays and the

7:32

body that really for me is coming home.

7:38

It's this, this is home and

7:38

you're coming all the way into

7:42

experience through everything.

7:46

And. At least this lifetime and, and

7:46

feel what that feels like and face

7:53

what kind of responses you have, but

7:53

with a sense of grounding and being

7:59

safer, in your own experience, that's

7:59

maybe different than it was before.

8:05

Okay. Yeah, definitely. I was trying to think of ways to

8:06

talk about this with listeners,

8:10

just to like, if anyone doesn't

8:10

really quite understand the con.

8:14

Cause I think it's very easy to not

8:14

understand the concept of coming home.

8:18

We think what's that we're like

8:18

we live in our bodies every day.

8:22

Well, we think we do you

8:22

think, and that's the thinking.

8:25

That is the thing we think we do.

8:28

I had an interesting experience

8:28

the other day I was looking at.

8:31

Photographs of, a relative.

8:34

And it just reminded me of being

8:34

back in a time in my life when

8:39

I was a very disembodied, but I

8:39

wouldn't have known it at the time.

8:43

And I noticed a feeling of leaving

8:43

my own body in that moment, because

8:48

it was just such a different feeling

8:48

from what I normally have now.

8:53

And I, I just really kind of sat in that

8:53

and I was like, Oh, this is, this is

8:57

exactly how I was living for decades.

9:02

Like just not at all in my body.

9:04

Not. Yeah. So I don't know how to explain.

9:07

Do you have any like,

9:07

experiences like that or?

9:11

Yeah. And it is experiential, so putting it

9:11

into words, he just did it in a nice way.

9:18

You know, if we're going to look at just

9:18

the Rolfing part, and actually that's not.

9:24

Just what I do, but just the fact

9:24

of, feeling things in your body and

9:30

having someone work with you in a

9:30

way that, is not inducing trauma,

9:36

but allowing you to experience places

9:36

where maybe you blocked some feeling.

9:42

but in a way that's very invitational

9:42

for you to occupy that again, too.

9:49

Look at that from a different perspective,

9:49

to have a little bit of skill, education

9:56

around that to make you feel, like your

9:56

container can hold it in your spirit

10:02

and your psychology and your body.

10:05

Describing specifically what that's

10:05

like, because different for every person,

10:10

minute, it's a hands-on experience.

10:12

Something happens and the connection

10:12

between the person and myself and whatever

10:18

other healing energies are present in

10:18

the moment, that works synergistically.

10:23

And I always hold the intention

10:23

for the highest good with everyone

10:28

that comes in to my space. I don't know what that's going to be,

10:30

and I don't try to figure it out because

10:35

that's not for me to figure out that's

10:35

for you to have the experience of

10:38

the client, to have the experience of

10:38

what that evolves into for themselves.

10:44

So there's freedom around that for both

10:44

of us, cause it's not imposing onto you.

10:51

or onto me, you know, for, for

10:51

a healer to have to feel like

10:55

they have to fix something. It's a trap and.

10:59

No, it's a trap for both

10:59

individuals because it's a dead end.

11:04

But if we're looking at as a

11:04

transformative and evolutionary

11:07

possibility for anybody in any given

11:07

moment that it's wide open, we don't know.

11:14

But we know it's for the highest. Good. Yeah.

11:17

I love that. Cause it's it's. That is how it is.

11:21

It's how it works too. Like it's the only way it really works.

11:25

I'm trying to think what would be

11:25

some ways people might be able to

11:29

understand or recognize that they

11:29

might be living in a disembodied state?

11:34

Yeah. There's many symptoms of that. one of them is, that you just

11:36

bump into things all the time.

11:39

You might trip, you might forget

11:39

where you're at, you know, find

11:43

yourself in a place, all of a sudden

11:43

that you didn't know why you were

11:46

heading there, but you've arrived.

11:49

All of those things can be a sign that

11:49

you're operating from a default pattern.

11:55

That's not very present. One of my favorite things

11:57

to talk about is feet.

12:01

Yes. Eat and getting our feet, connected

12:02

to the earth or the ground or

12:06

whatever they're out at the moment. It's a way to get grounded and to

12:08

feel the beginning of that embodiment.

12:13

And it's also one of the first,

12:13

let's say stops your feet

12:19

to, to, begin your journey.

12:22

if you can't feel your feet, you're not

12:22

in your body, you know, and that's even

12:27

for people who don't have feet, there's an

12:27

energetic connection that comes through.

12:33

So, it's important. So we could, we could even

12:36

try a little something.

12:38

So I like to do things that

12:38

people can do anywhere.

12:42

Not like they have to sit somewhere

12:42

and do a particular exercise.

12:46

Say you're in a meeting and all of

12:46

a sudden something gets triggered

12:51

or who knows what happens. And you're feeling like you've left.

12:56

You have left the room, find your feet on

12:56

the floor and start wiggling your toes.

13:02

So you could try that right now. Everybody looks, listen.

13:06

It feels like, yeah, you can

13:06

even wiggle them in your shoes.

13:09

If you have shoes on. but just start wiggling them and

13:10

touching them to the surface.

13:14

If you can, and feeling the energy

13:14

that starts to happen when you put

13:21

some attention in your feet and you

13:21

can do that anywhere at any time.

13:26

And all of a sudden just

13:26

bringing your attention there.

13:30

Gets you in your body a little more. It gets you out of your

13:32

head out of that floaty.

13:35

Headspace. I love that. I am doing it right now.

13:39

Yeah. That's squiggly the toes, you know, in

13:39

a place where you can massage your feet.

13:43

That's great. If you're out somewhere and you

13:45

can stomp your feet, that's also

13:48

a great way to get in your feet. You know, you don't have

13:50

to be angry to stop. You can just stop.

13:53

I agree. I mean, that might be something that's

13:54

happening, but you can stop your feet.

13:57

can March you can, do a little jig dance,

13:57

but anything to get your energy into your

14:02

feet, down through your legs, feel your

14:02

connection to the earth that is grounding.

14:08

Yeah. I can attest to it. Like I've come back to

14:09

that advice that you gave.

14:13

Time and time again, like even just

14:13

the other day, I was like feeling that.

14:17

So I, I was feeling what I was feeling the

14:17

other day when I, when I explained what I

14:20

was looking at those pictures and I just

14:20

did, I was like, I was working on stuff.

14:24

So I just, I just started

14:24

massaging my feet and just like,

14:29

okay, like, come like it's okay. Come back.

14:32

And that's a great self-care thing. Massaging the feet.

14:35

Yeah. Yeah, it was really helpful.

14:37

I, that has been, I think that's the thing

14:37

that has stuck with me the most is getting

14:42

the, getting grounded piece and it's

14:42

like the quickest way to kind of, yeah.

14:48

And the other, the other, piece

14:48

of grounding can be your pelvis

14:52

if you're sitting on something. And sometimes if you just exhale,

14:55

you find yourself just coming down.

15:00

Hmm into your body, into your Calvis

15:00

and those two little knobby bones.

15:05

Yeah, but some of those, they're not

15:05

as NABI, but you can find them in

15:09

there and they can be on your chair.

15:12

That is grounding ground

15:12

for your pelvic floor.

15:16

You can ground for your pelvis and

15:16

then down into your legs and feet.

15:20

And there's a lot of imagery. People give about chords and colors

15:22

and you can play with all that.

15:26

But I find that works. Better when you're in your own space.

15:31

you know, if you're just out

15:31

and about in the world, you've

15:33

got to have simple things to do. Yeah.

15:36

It's very practical. Yeah. Very practical.

15:39

Yeah. Very much so. Which I love let's make it simple.

15:44

Yeah. Yeah. Let's get in there. You didn't those feet.

15:48

Yeah. What do you find is the most,

15:48

Well, I mean, a lot of things are

15:52

probably beneficial, but what's

15:52

like the most beneficial thing

15:54

about being able to get grounded. Do you, do you find, have you had

15:57

people come back to you and be

16:00

like, it helped me in this area or.

16:02

You probably have like ideas on this.

16:04

Anyway, one of the things I

16:04

think is the most important.

16:08

And especially if we look at some

16:08

of the things you've talked about

16:11

in your other podcast about trauma

16:11

and, people experiencing things that.

16:17

Have caused them to leave

16:17

their body to feel safe.

16:21

there has to be a, a

16:21

learned safety in the body.

16:25

There has to be experiences of this

16:25

is a safe place to be, and it has

16:30

to be repeated over and over and

16:30

over again because the wiring and

16:35

the brain and the Springs in another

16:35

modality, neurosculpting that I do.

16:41

Do some rewiring of patterns in the brain,

16:41

so that that new pattern can get stronger.

16:47

And the old pattern can, you know,

16:47

ease off and that this repetition and

16:53

practice and, you know, any little

16:53

piece you can do during your day to make

16:59

something different and your experience

16:59

counts, your brain is aware of that.

17:05

And your body is aware of that. So I.

17:09

I find for different people. It's different things as always,

17:10

but the feeling of being safely

17:15

at home is very efficient back to

17:15

the home for the, the holidays.

17:22

When you texted that to me, I

17:22

was like, yeah, I love that.

17:25

And I'm going to be using it

17:25

through the rest of the month.

17:29

or December, I should say. Yeah.

17:32

Yeah. I think it's interesting because

17:32

everyone approaches their healing

17:36

journey in a different way. It's like they have come in through

17:38

different doors, just kind of

17:42

tumbling in like how'd I get here?

17:45

Yeah. Yeah. He'd help. Or number one or number two or number

17:47

three and they can all get you there.

17:53

Right, right. There's not one way.

17:55

I think too every like body worker,

17:55

every psychologist, every life coach,

18:01

I feel like this kind of stuff would be

18:01

just so amazingly practical and helpful.

18:10

Like from the get-go and, and like

18:10

you were saying about the I'm sorry,

18:14

I could see you're going to say

18:14

something, but like you were saying

18:17

about the business model, sometimes

18:17

I wonder if that isn't playing a role

18:21

too, in the journey and the process.

18:25

So, yeah. Anyway, that was just, and it, it is,

18:27

it's a business model that we've all

18:30

been taught it, but it's, you know,

18:30

it's also a life model that you.

18:36

Have these ideas around how things are

18:36

supposed to be and how they operate.

18:40

And then we're all locked into that until

18:40

someone has a different idea and breaks

18:45

out of the, you know, it's a new paradigm

18:45

and then people go, Oh, does that work?

18:50

No. Well maybe, yeah. And, I think that's

18:52

where we're at right now.

18:54

There's so many new, new things

18:54

happening that people are doing, even

18:58

doing zoom like this for an interview. Yeah, no, I mean, people used to do

19:00

TV interviews and radio interviews,

19:04

and now there's podcasts and, you

19:04

know, everybody has this technology

19:09

and we've all had to learn it. So pportunity yeah, it's true.

19:15

It's true. Yeah, I don't know.

19:18

It's just, I can't help but think about it. Cause I think about my own journey.

19:20

Like I was in psychotherapy for years off

19:20

and on really helpful, but I could just

19:26

always feel myself like, but how do I, it

19:26

was a little bit of a frustration there.

19:33

And I think, I just want to mention

19:33

this for anybody who feels like they're

19:37

in that spot of like, Not being able

19:37

to move forward or whatever it is.

19:41

Like these are some really practical

19:41

things that we're even talking about

19:44

right now, or even getting in touch

19:44

with you or an embodiment coach to

19:50

practically work on these things, because

19:50

it can be, I don't want to say it's

19:53

like a fast track or anything like that.

19:55

It's just a, I don't know. How would you describe it?

19:59

I would, I always talk

19:59

about there's a pie.

20:02

For your own healing journey

20:02

or recovery journey or whatever

20:06

anybody wants to call it. And the pieces of the pie that

20:08

you put in and take out change,

20:13

and some are more appropriate at

20:13

certain times in your journey.

20:17

And other ones have to come in and

20:17

augment what's going on and you

20:24

are empowered to pick those pieces.

20:28

And. You know, no one knows any better

20:29

than you, what feels right.

20:34

Have to actually experiment and,

20:34

you know, I've experimented in some

20:39

things that, that, no, that wasn't it.

20:42

And that's okay. Because then I knew, you know, whether

20:43

it was some gosh awful concoction

20:48

I drank because it was supposed to

20:48

be good and cleansing my body or,

20:52

you know, whatever the thing was. Okay.

20:54

I have that experience and I don't have

20:54

to continue that because I know that's

20:57

not going to be the piece of my pie. And so psychotherapy, PMB.

21:01

A really beneficial thing when there's

21:01

so much fragmentation and an angst and,

21:07

upset and, you know, life is just not

21:07

working and then these other pieces,

21:13

and then you, Oh, you had, and then your

21:13

doctor said, Oh, you know, maybe this.

21:16

And so it comes in and if you're open

21:16

and you keep yourself open to new

21:23

awareness, there's a new experiences. Then I.

21:26

I, I see that as the way

21:26

that helps the most people.

21:30

Yeah. Yeah. The openness and the empowerment.

21:34

I feel like people sometimes think,

21:34

well, this must be the answer.

21:37

So I've got to do all the things and like,

21:37

if it's not working, there's something

21:41

wrong with me and yeah, you don't have

21:41

to, well for a year or two years, and then

21:49

you're different because you've changed.

21:51

So. It makes sense that, that new you, with

21:52

the changes that you've, that you've

21:57

worked so hard for has different needs and

21:57

it's ready for some different experience.

22:04

Yeah. I feel like that's a really big one.

22:06

I had, I had something I was going to

22:06

say earlier, I'll have a sip of tea

22:10

while you're thinking, just in talking.

22:12

It made me think that all the

22:12

different doors people enter into, I

22:16

was thinking, you know, like when I

22:16

went to psychotherapy, I was trying

22:18

to figure out like how to fix a thing.

22:22

It was a specific thing. And then it just opened up all

22:23

these other doors and then.

22:27

The whole, like physical piece too.

22:30

I never tied my physical ailments

22:30

and chronic pain, fatigue, even

22:37

illness to the psychological trauma.

22:41

I had never done that cause it,

22:41

it really made no sense the amount

22:46

of like injury and pain I was

22:46

having from a very young age.

22:50

And a lot of people run into that. Do you, I'm just curious.

22:53

Do you see that often? Yes.

22:57

Yes. And I think maybe the advice that I

22:58

would offer, if you want to call it

23:02

advice, but what I've seen is that.

23:06

When you're choosing someone to work with,

23:06

if you can look at things in a holistic

23:12

way and know that the person that you're

23:12

working with hassled a little bit of that

23:17

perspective, too, they don't have to call

23:17

themselves a holistic person, but kind

23:23

of interview people on and, you know,

23:23

read what they've written and find out.

23:30

If that person has some kind of container

23:30

for you within their professional,

23:36

whatever that is, you know, the identity

23:36

of their profession to be of service to

23:40

you in that moment, or if they're really.

23:43

Maybe a little narrow for

23:43

what you're looking for.

23:47

And then sometimes narrow and

23:47

specific is just the right thing.

23:51

So we really, really have

23:51

to take responsibility for

23:53

choosing who we work with. You know, why do people know it's

23:56

not a good connection when it's not,

24:00

and feeling empowered to do that. And.

24:03

asking if they have a referral

24:03

to something else that might be

24:07

helpful to you and not being afraid

24:07

to ask or hurt their feelings.

24:12

Yeah. What are some ways people can get

24:13

comfortable with doing that with being a

24:17

little choosy and empowering themselves?

24:20

I would say, ask other people don't.

24:23

I mean, sometimes we don't want to

24:23

admit that we're looking for help and.

24:27

You know what that's okay. but there can even be anonymous

24:29

ways to ask other people and start

24:32

reading things online that people

24:32

have written about their experiences

24:36

with a certain person, reading books.

24:39

Some, some people have

24:39

written books or have blogs.

24:43

you know, there's ways to find

24:43

out if you are going to have.

24:47

You know, some, some kind of a connection

24:47

and then sometimes you have to get into it

24:51

to really know, but don't be afraid of no,

24:51

this isn't exactly what I was looking for.

24:58

And also to know that you might be

24:58

running away from something that

25:02

they may be really helping you

25:02

all your personal responsibility.

25:07

we can seek help and then we also have

25:07

to be responsible for that and accepting

25:13

it and discerning, and that goes into it.

25:16

It's okay. If you're making mistakes along the way,

25:17

like it's necessary, they're not mistakes.

25:22

They're just learning. They really are just learning. Yeah.

25:25

Like if you really are running

25:25

away from help, it might not

25:28

be the right time for you. To do this thing.

25:32

Yeah. Yeah. But it might feel different.

25:35

Trust them. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

25:39

It's that whole thing, like, it's that

25:39

I don't want to say balance, but it's

25:42

both, it's like, we're very human. We're going to be prone to not always

25:44

knowing exactly what's best for us,

25:50

but also like we get to take that

25:50

up and take responsibility for it.

25:56

Yeah, and that is really

25:56

something to practice and learn.

26:00

The whole embodiment piece

26:00

is really helpful with that.

26:03

Like knowing you're safe within your

26:03

body and you're not, you're not making

26:06

like, you know, a horrible mistake.

26:09

Yeah. None of us want to injure ourselves or

26:10

traumatize ourselves all over again.

26:13

So. Yeah. So just feeling safe as

26:15

a really important thing.

26:18

And we all have ways that

26:18

feeling safe feels right to us.

26:23

It's not the same for every person,

26:23

some peaceful people, you know, it's

26:27

just like having something to wrap

26:27

around them and feel cozy a blanket

26:33

or people have weighted blankets. Something, a cat on your lap, a dog,

26:35

you know, something to ground into, some

26:42

tactile sensory thing makes you safe.

26:46

So use those things. Yeah, definitely.

26:50

If you have a shawl or something

26:50

that makes you feel good, like

26:53

this is my peacock one and itself. Can I know it's a little

26:55

cool in here today.

26:58

So I like to wrap myself in it and.

27:01

You can take that to your practitioner

27:01

or whoever you're going to for

27:06

psychotherapy or whatever else.

27:08

you know, it really is

27:08

like having your blankie.

27:12

It's true. I had a sweater, A year ago, I

27:12

felt like it was time to let it go.

27:17

It was for some, for some reason, but

27:17

I called it my security sweater and I,

27:22

it was, it was like a blanket and just

27:22

with sleeves and I wore it everywhere for

27:27

like, I don't know, five or six months.

27:30

Yeah. It was like lightweight enough to

27:31

wear it in all kinds of weather.

27:34

And, and I did, I just

27:34

unabashedly my security sweater.

27:38

Yeah. I think that's great because that's

27:39

a, you taking care of yourself.

27:43

Yeah. It's like, okay, this feels better.

27:45

You know, it feels better. I can go out in the world

27:47

and feel better with the sun.

27:49

Okay. I'm going to do it and not

27:50

shame yourself about it.

27:53

Yeah, no, it's a good thing.

27:55

I like telling on myself anyway. It's just kind of how I do.

28:00

but yeah, anything like that? I definitely like when you were talking

28:01

about that, I could really relate.

28:04

So what are some ways I'm thinking about,

28:04

people who are going through the holidays

28:08

and maybe, I mean, definitely this year

28:08

has been like separation city and, Also

28:15

to people that are kind of, you know,

28:15

disconnected from family, things like that

28:18

this time of year can be really difficult.

28:21

Just emotionally. Yeah. Yeah.

28:24

So some ways we can just kind of

28:24

come home to ourselves, take this

28:28

time, take advantage of this time. Yeah.

28:31

It really is a great

28:31

time to take advantage.

28:34

I see grief as really permeating through.

28:38

Every aspect of society right now for

28:38

all of us, you know, there's a grieving

28:43

mourning, knowing something has happened

28:43

and we've had to go and, you know, for

28:50

some people it's just, you know, it's a

28:50

loss of an actual individual and their

28:53

life for, you know, it can be a job or

28:53

so many things, but our way of life.

29:01

Has changed in so many ways.

29:03

And so the grief is real and

29:03

acknowledging that as important,

29:08

we have time to do that. And we've talked about self care,

29:11

you and I in the past and, nurturing

29:15

and ourselves in different ways. Like you have a nice

29:17

fire going on your TV.

29:20

I have a candle in the

29:20

background on my desk.

29:23

It's it's your all personal

29:23

sense of what feels nurturing to

29:29

you for some people it's baths.

29:33

And I love epsom salts baths with

29:33

essential oils and you know, it's

29:38

cold weather now, so that feels good.

29:41

Some people's saunas feel good.

29:43

you can take advantage of that. If you could find one that, you

29:45

know, some of them are still open.

29:48

Some are not. I think grounding, is probably the

29:50

most essential because whatever we're

29:54

feeling, if we don't ground through it,

29:54

it takes over us knowing that that we

30:01

can be present with whatever feeling

30:01

we're experiencing is really important.

30:06

And again, it takes practice. So little moments.

30:10

I have a bath I use, okay.

30:12

I have this little bow that

30:12

belonged to my grandma.

30:15

Oh, sound can bring you right back in, you

30:15

know, some people have the singing bowls

30:27

or have a crystal glass who can make that

30:27

sound with, or music in your background,

30:33

but it can be very grounding in your

30:33

body to listen to a sound that suits you.

30:42

and it can bring you like

30:42

the sound of the bell.

30:44

And even you could put the chime on

30:44

your phone if you're off somewhere.

30:48

And you know, my phone has

30:48

all kinds of bells and chimes.

30:52

it can bring you to present time

30:52

and then you can tell yourself, it's

30:56

your signal for bringing yourself to

30:56

present time and you can practice that.

31:02

So again, wherever you're at, You

31:02

could make a sound at the glass,

31:06

you know, this doesn't take, but

31:06

you know, whatever, it can be.

31:11

Anything just knowing that

31:11

that sound for you is that's

31:15

going to ground me in my body. That's going to bring me

31:16

right back to press a time.

31:18

That's going to get my attention

31:18

where I need to get it.

31:22

And then one of the other

31:22

things, is finding something

31:24

beautiful in your surrounding. Something that gets your

31:27

attention, whether it's a plant

31:30

or a beautiful crystal back

31:30

there painting, Just look at it.

31:35

And the minute you look at it, it

31:35

gets yo into your prefrontal cortex.

31:39

It gets you out of that limbic part of

31:39

your brain, that's spewing the stress

31:44

chemicals, and it gets you into the

31:44

front of your brain where the more

31:49

executive creative functioning is.

31:52

And so find something interesting

31:52

or beautiful and, and just

31:56

look at it, gaze at it. And you can do that wherever you are.

32:00

Out in the world, you're feeling

32:00

triggered out in the world.

32:04

Just do that. And the more you do it again, the more

32:05

your wire, your brain to that experience

32:10

and the more your brain is wired to that

32:10

experience, the more it'll automatically

32:14

go there that becomes your new norm.

32:18

You use the process of

32:18

neuroplasticity in your brain.

32:23

To create something new. Yeah.

32:26

I love that. It's so practical. It's it's making me think too, just

32:27

about like modern times in general and

32:32

how I feel like ancient cultures and the

32:32

things that they would do like, and the

32:38

traditions that they had in the past.

32:41

You know, I feel like all of that

32:41

was just this inner knowing of

32:44

,that's what we need as human beings. And I feel like we're just getting more

32:46

and more separated from those from nature

32:50

and from traditional practices like that.

32:54

Just from the nature

32:54

of the way things are.

32:56

So, yeah, I think about pounding

32:56

drums and stomping around dancing

33:01

around campfires or blazing fires,

33:01

you know, for ritual times, but you

33:07

can do that in your own backyard. I walk barefoot on the snow.

33:11

You know, I do earthing barefoot, walking

33:11

outside, no matter what the weather is.

33:16

Yeah. And it's like, there's no, I

33:18

think we all feel like we would

33:22

look weird for doing that. And maybe we would to some people, but

33:23

also it's like, It's really not weird.

33:29

My neighbors aren't used to me now. I have a push mower, you know,

33:31

just one of those old, real mowers.

33:36

I mow my grass barefoot. You know, there's no way I can hurt

33:38

myself cause I'm just pushing it.

33:42

It's not up. gas or electric mower.

33:45

So for me, it's quiet.

33:47

I can hear the birds and I'm walking on

33:47

the earth in my own yard as I, I mow.

33:53

And it's very soothing. I enjoy doing that.

33:57

It's not like, Oh, I have to cut the grass. It's like, Oh yeah, go

33:59

get to cut the grass.

34:02

Yeah. I love that. so just even, even practices like that

34:03

and exercises like that, where you're

34:07

you look a little bit strange, maybe.

34:10

Yeah. that can actually be really healing.

34:12

Just like learning to not, I

34:12

don't want to say not care, but it

34:16

helps you become more yourself and

34:16

get more in touch with yourself.

34:20

And the more you do it, the less you do.

34:22

Right. And I just laugh along with

34:23

them going, yeah, weird.

34:26

Not this is weird. Most people don't do this.

34:29

Yeah. But the benefits of being

34:30

so connected, you know?

34:32

Yeah. And you get to share with other people

34:33

while you're doing it, you know?

34:37

So it's like, Oh yeah, walking

34:37

barefoot could be good outside.

34:42

Yeah. Try it. Do it with me.

34:46

You might make me new friends, so true.

34:49

And it doesn't have to be, you

34:49

know, for me lately when I'm feeling

34:52

that stress or just feeling like. Disconnected.

34:55

I'll just go for a walk, you know, just

34:55

even that walk around the block, whatever.

35:02

Yeah. so you don't have to be like super

35:02

weird just, but make yourself do

35:08

something other than what you've

35:08

been doing to get to that point.

35:13

Yeah. Yeah. Something different.

35:16

Change it up. And that always makes a shift.

35:20

Even if you just get up out of your

35:20

chair and walk around the house,

35:24

when you're feeling something like

35:24

grief for overwhelm, you know,

35:30

just moving, just getting up and

35:30

moving into your perspective.

35:35

What about for people

35:35

who feel I get this way?

35:38

I feel discouraged when I get stressed

35:38

out or I start to worry again.

35:42

I'm like, man, aren't I over this?

35:45

There's no such thing for a human. I mean, if we experienced stress,

35:47

cause that's life comes at us

35:52

and we have reactions we can get.

35:55

So we have less reactions as

35:55

we practice and we're not as

35:59

reactive, but I feel stress.

36:02

I just have skills now. I know. Well, I can choose to be

36:04

stressed or I can do one of these

36:07

things and unstressed myself.

36:10

Yeah. So do I want to suffer in this moment

36:10

while maybe sometimes I'm a little

36:14

kitty and you feel sad for myself,

36:14

but you know, I really don't have

36:18

much tolerance for letting that

36:18

last, any longer, you know, but sure.

36:22

You can go into it and experience

36:22

it because it's an experience.

36:26

Yeah. I'm stressed. This is what it feels like.

36:29

The moment you don't resist it,

36:29

it actually starts to fade away.

36:32

Totally. So that's the funny game.

36:36

It is a funny game. Yeah, it really is.

36:39

It's like the moment I learned that

36:39

experientially, the first time it was

36:44

like, Oh my goodness, this is so weird.

36:48

And so not what I would have expected. and you don't.

36:51

I think I like to beat myself

36:51

up for not remembering the

36:54

tools that I have sometimes. Like I do, right?

36:59

Oh my gosh, I do that,

36:59

but it's not a test.

37:03

It's not a test. You can't fail.

37:05

This is your life. You cannot fail your life.

37:09

That's not possible. Yeah.

37:11

So there's the good news. There is the good news.

37:15

I think, I just want to talk about these

37:15

things because I feel like, you know,

37:19

those are the things we get tripped up

37:19

on as we're collecting our tools and

37:25

it's like, Oh, well, this isn't working

37:25

because I didn't automatically know.

37:30

Or remember. Yeah.

37:34

Yeah. It's you know, it's okay. And I will say that the more tools that

37:36

you practice over time and the more

37:40

that you put in your toolbox, the more

37:40

abundant your toolbox is it's easier

37:45

to have one overflow automatically

37:45

to you because it's a full box.

37:52

Yeah. That's a good, a good

37:52

word picture of that.

37:55

I love that. Yeah, definitely.

37:59

I love this. I can talk about this stuff all the time.

38:02

and I don't think you can get enough of it. And that's like going, going back to the

38:04

ancient practices thing, because it was a

38:09

way of life, you know, it wasn't as like.

38:13

Retraining your brain, I think

38:13

no, so much it was simpler.

38:19

Yeah. And, there was no judgment on

38:20

people's issues and you know, these

38:28

ancient tribal cultures, it was,

38:28

you could be people call crazy and.

38:36

We thought a wise one, you know,

38:36

for going through that craziness

38:40

and having that experience and

38:40

you know, it wasn't as judged.

38:45

I mean, yes, people were

38:45

ostracized for certain things,

38:48

but it was just different people.

38:50

Weren't telling each other, these

38:50

stories, like we tell each other now

38:54

that this is right and this is wrong

38:54

and you should feel bad about this.

38:58

Not bad. This live your life this way.

39:02

Yeah, the rules, the

39:02

rules are just stories.

39:08

They're just stories. Yeah. And you can make your own stories.

39:12

So that's empowering.

39:15

It really is. And really is. And, I think it's, I think it's a great

39:16

way to look at this season in this time.

39:21

And this year specifically during this.

39:24

You know, season and yeah.

39:28

Like really, really take

39:28

advantage of the quietness maybe.

39:33

Yeah. And when you've had enough quiet reach

39:35

out, zoom, somebody call somebody, you

39:40

know, actually talking on the phone. It's a good thing.

39:44

Cause voice connection is, it's a

39:44

different, it's a different shocker,

39:48

you know, it's a different energy. then a text connection, which

39:50

is more of a visual connection.

39:55

And so, yeah, I would say.

39:58

Reach out to people and, you know,

39:58

different ways, you know, walking with

40:04

friends is something I've done and finding

40:04

places to walk where there's wide enough

40:09

pathways that you can walk together and

40:09

keep socially distance and enjoy it.

40:16

Yeah. So there are reasons to connect. Yeah, there really are even, I've

40:18

been using the app, the Voxer app.

40:22

it's, it's like a walkie-talkie

40:22

it's like, you can, it's kind

40:27

of like sending a voice text. you can be talking and then it's

40:28

kind of like, they can listen to

40:31

it in real time on the other end. And it also saves the recording

40:33

so they can go back and listen

40:36

to it when they have time. So it's kind of like, You know, it's

40:37

that nice, like sort of text culture of

40:43

like, I don't want to bother this person. I want them to be able to answer when

40:44

they can, but also using the voice.

40:48

And I've really gotten into that this year. Yeah.

40:51

The voice is powerful and it also

40:51

we'll get you thinking in different

40:55

ways rather than when you're texting. Like it's almost like a flow

40:57

of consciousness when you're.

41:00

It comes from a different place. Yeah, definitely.

41:04

So, yeah, like Voxer or, Marco

41:04

polo, even that's another one.

41:08

but yeah, I was thinking about that

41:08

this, this year, because that became

41:12

like a mode of communication between me

41:12

and my boyfriend when we started dating,

41:16

because we were long distance and.

41:18

I would send these like really long

41:18

messages because it would get a

41:22

thought going and then I'd be thinking

41:22

out loud and he really enjoyed that.

41:26

So that's why I kept doing it. I wouldn't have kept doing it. I didn't enjoy it, but, it's

41:28

actually been really helpful to me

41:32

to be able to like put thought into

41:32

words and just voice it, you know?

41:39

Yeah. And here you are with a podcast. Yeah. Weird.

41:43

Yeah. And we need your voice.

41:45

I mean, we each have a voice to give

41:45

and we need each other's voices.

41:51

Yeah. We really do. It makes me think of like, you

41:52

know, story time around the fire,

41:55

you know, that kind of thing. That was a big deal too.

41:57

Yeah. I really love that. I love sharing story because

41:59

that's the way we learn and

42:02

that's the way we connect. So we realize we're not

42:04

the only ones and yeah.

42:07

Hey, here's how someone else did it. Yeah.

42:10

Sharing, empowers each other.

42:14

We hear each other's stories. Yeah, definitely.

42:17

I love that. I want to ask you, like, is there

42:18

anything, like, was there something

42:21

you specific you had on your mind

42:21

that you'd like to share in general?

42:28

I think we've covered a lot

42:28

of the things I love to share.

42:32

You know, I would, you know, I would just

42:32

say to people use all of your senses.

42:38

as you live it live your life to embody

42:38

in the spotty, use your census, hears your

42:44

voice, use your eyes, who's your touch.

42:46

you know, it's grounding to touch

42:46

things and see things and smell things.

42:52

Just smelling something can be grounded. Yeah.

42:56

And for everyone that's

42:56

different, whatever the smell is.

43:00

Do you want to smell my

43:00

coffee grounds every morning?

43:03

No. Yeah. A very earthy kind of smell.

43:07

Yeah. So to really be embodied

43:08

using all your senses, try it.

43:14

See what happens. That's what I say, just

43:15

to see what happens. I can't hurt, you know, you might like it.

43:20

You might not like it. And that's your choice. It's like just try different things.

43:25

And, and when you make the decision to

43:25

try something, that's not someone forcing

43:31

something on you, it's you deciding.

43:34

And so you take it in, in a different way. It's like a different experience.

43:38

I'm not telling you to do it. I'm saying here's a whole range of

43:40

things that you could experiment with.

43:43

And maybe just, maybe perhaps one

43:43

of these will be beneficial for you.

43:49

Maybe you'll make up something you

43:49

want to share with the rest of us.

43:52

And that would be great too.

43:55

Yeah. Yeah, I love that this has been so

43:56

wonderful having you on that's so fun

44:01

having a cup of tea and fires on both

44:01

ends and cozy Shaws and blankets.

44:08

Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

44:10

I, I just have so appreciated your

44:10

work and you know, you are, you ha

44:16

are having a huge impact on the world. Oh, thank you.

44:20

Can you create a very

44:20

large impact on my life.

44:23

And, I don't think I've

44:23

officially told you that.

44:26

Well, I appreciate that. And I really appreciate being able

44:28

to be part of your podcast and,

44:32

you know, all the people that are. Or I'm tuning in and listening.

44:37

So that just offers more

44:37

sharing for both of us.

44:41

Yeah, it does. And I want to share your contact

44:42

information too, if that's okay.

44:45

in the show notes and stuff, you

44:45

are primarily working out of the

44:48

grand Rapids area, is that correct? That's right.

44:51

And I do zoom with people. I do do, different kinds

44:53

of coaching things.

44:56

you might have an exercise routine where

44:56

you feel like you're hurting yourself

44:59

all the time and you don't quite know

44:59

what you might need to do to, just

45:04

ease into it a little differently. We can do that on zoom.

45:08

We can just talk about some of

45:08

this stuff that you and I have

45:11

talked about and make a plan. Do some of the neurosculpting meditation.

45:17

All of this stuff is on my website. That's be aligned, right.

45:20

B-line dot com. And I will have that

45:21

in the show notes too. So anyone can get in touch with you.

45:26

I'd appreciate that. Yeah, I appreciate you.

45:30

Thank you, Tabitha. I will say cheers to the holidays.

45:35

Cheers. I've got my water and cheers to being

45:35

home for the holidays for the holidays

45:41

and coming home, coming all the way home.

45:44

Yeah. I love that. Thank you so much.

45:47

Bye bye.