1:01

I was looking at your hip cars. I like that.

1:03

You're doing more neuroplasticity stuff.

1:06

Yeah. I think that fits well with, with

1:07

a lot of stuff that you talk about.

1:11

Yeah. It's it's super fascinating.

1:14

And I think it's really, it really

1:14

is empowering because if we can

1:18

actually believe that we can

1:18

create changes in our brain based

1:23

on what we think and what we do. I think that can really help

1:26

motivate us to change our behavior.

1:30

Yeah. So you've had a lot of physical injury.

1:37

Yes. What I'm gathering over the months

1:37

that I've followed you even years now.

1:42

So I want to hear a little

1:42

bit about your journey.

1:45

Just kind of sure. Kind of how you started and okay.

1:50

Yeah. Well, I, so I was always

1:51

very physically inclined.

1:54

And that was to kind of, to

1:54

a fault like that was my.

1:59

Preferred mode of self-expression and

1:59

I sort of held back everything else.

2:03

So it was like, I was a lunatic when

2:03

I was outside or running around.

2:06

And that's where I got all of my

2:06

expressive stuff out, aside from

2:11

like a little bit of artwork. Yeah.

2:14

So. Naturally being a little bit of,

2:15

of a lunatic and being willing

2:18

to push myself in ways that my

2:18

body maybe wasn't ready for.

2:23

I dealt with a lot of injuries. So a lot of concussions actually.

2:28

Okay. Yeah. I'm like maybe 12 or 13.

2:32

I had a lot of undiagnosed because

2:32

I, I would either withhold the

2:36

information or refuse to see the doctor.

2:38

Sure. So, you know, and. I also had, you know, dealt with

2:41

shoulder, hand injuries, broken

2:46

bones all throughout high school.

2:49

And then it continued in college. I played ultimate Frisbee and

2:51

which is wonderful, except that.

2:56

I don't think I played a

2:56

full season of anything ever,

3:00

except maybe in middle school. So yeah, between concussions, broken

3:03

bones, shoulder, knee, ankle injuries.

3:10

It, it became almost a part of my

3:10

identity of like, I was extremely

3:15

athletic and I would keep myself fit,

3:15

but it was injury was inevitable.

3:20

Hm. Why do you think you were hiding injury?

3:25

Well, I think part of it was like,

3:25

while it was part of my identity,

3:30

I didn't necessarily want it to be,

3:30

you know, it was like, it didn't

3:34

want to be, Oh, Brian got hurt again. Or, yeah, and I think some of it, it's

3:37

definitely just some denial, like the

3:42

whole, no pain, no gain, like, it's fine.

3:45

I'll just play through it. And then, you know, I think a good

3:47

microcosm of this whole thing is.

3:51

I was maybe 19 and I think it was winter

3:51

break and I was playing all this pickup

3:57

football and Frisbee with my friends. And gradually my Achilles would

3:59

get stiffer and stiffer and it

4:03

would be hard to walk, but once I

4:03

started warming up, it would get

4:08

more pliable and then I would play. And then after playing,

4:10

it would get worse.

4:13

And this continued until I played

4:13

an entire Frisbee tournament on it.

4:17

And I just didn't stop moving for

4:17

several hours because I knew that

4:21

what would happen by the end, I was

4:21

reduced to crawling around and I

4:26

had to be in a boot for eight weeks. So that was like my mentality.

4:31

It's just sort of deny, ignore, push

4:31

through it until my body forces me to.

4:36

Yeah. Yeah. So interesting.

4:38

I think that's totally applicable to. Our whole being two times a week,

4:41

more things we pushed through.

4:46

And then at some point we have a break,

4:46

you know, absolutely like a psychological

4:52

break or something, you know, and

4:52

it's like, our body just won't even

4:57

our bodies are telling us things too.

5:00

Like don't, don't push yourself. I can, I I've listened to some of your

5:01

Like injuries, stories and pain stories.

5:08

And I can, I can relate in some ways I

5:08

was a little bit that too, like I had a

5:12

ruptured disc at 20, I think 20 I probably

5:12

earlier than that, but I think it became a

5:18

really bad problem, which I kept ignoring.

5:21

And didn't. I was so young. I didn't also realize it was

5:22

something coming from my back.

5:25

I just thought I wanted to chew my own

5:25

leg off, but I just kept ignoring it

5:30

and pushing through and being tough and,

5:30

you know, ended up in emergency surgery.

5:34

And I was like, Oh, what

5:34

just happened to me?

5:37

You know? But I can totally understand that,

5:39

that mindset and not wanting to.

5:43

I don't know with me. I just didn't ever want to be a problem.

5:47

Yeah. Yeah. I, I can, I can definitely relate to that.

5:52

Right. You don't want to be a problem. You don't want it to be a big deal.

5:55

So that, that kind of led me into

5:55

discovering more about the body.

6:01

I got into kinesiology in school,

6:01

where I went to Penn state and but

6:06

the school, like the conventional

6:06

schooling, while there were benefits.

6:10

It didn't teach me nearly as

6:10

much of the applicable stuff.

6:14

It wasn't until I discovered FRC

6:14

functional range conditioning that like

6:20

some of the pieces really fell into place.

6:23

Yeah. And that's where this becomes so

6:23

empowering, whether it's, whether it's

6:27

neuro-plasticity or whether it's just

6:27

your, your physical tissues adapting

6:32

you can start really small and just

6:32

think like, wow, everything I do.

6:37

It's an opportunity to

6:37

reinforce something.

6:40

So if I sit a lot, I

6:40

get better at sitting.

6:42

If I stand a little bit more, I

6:42

start to tip the scales a little bit.

6:47

So we're always able to make

6:47

these little adjustments.

6:52

Yeah. I love that. I love that so much because I think,

6:54

I think initially too, when you

6:57

have injury, your initial reaction

6:57

is fear and maybe not you because

7:02

you want to push through, but. When it gets to the point where it's

7:04

so bad, you're like, I just want

7:07

to crawl in a hole and disappear.

7:11

I feel worthless, that kind of thing.

7:13

And it's like, it can take people

7:13

years to kind of get over or some

7:17

people never do, which is the really

7:17

sad part, which is why I love what

7:19

you're doing, because it's so doable.

7:25

That's the big, that's the big thing. I try to get that through to a

7:27

lot of people, whether they're my

7:30

clients or just people, I know that. Lower the barrier, make it doable.

7:36

You know, that's, I'm going to

7:36

start trying to do this CARS

7:39

before coffee thing, where I'm

7:39

intentionally trying to make it simple.

7:43

You don't have to think too much. And like just a few minutes, you know,

7:45

if you do a few words, rotations, a

7:49

little bit of feel good movement for a

7:49

few minutes while your coffee's brewing

7:53

or water's boiling, whatever it is

7:53

over time that can make a difference.

7:59

And. What's well, what's neat.

8:02

I, I think it's neat, but all the injuries

8:02

help you empathize a little better.

8:08

So I started training people who were

8:08

three times my age, when I got out of

8:11

college and I could actually empathize

8:11

with them when they were like, Oh,

8:17

like I had trouble getting out of bed. I'm having trouble going up

8:18

and down the steps and be like,

8:24

right, right. And well, and what's

8:26

interesting is, you know, I.

8:29

Empathy is so neat. You know, I think a lot of it comes down

8:30

to self-awareness and one of the biggest

8:34

keys that I was very fortunate to, to

8:34

realize early on was that you can't feel

8:41

what someone else is feeling and you

8:41

can't know what they're going through.

8:45

But you can make space for

8:45

them and you can relate.

8:48

Yeah. And that's something that I

8:48

would verbalize to people like.

8:50

Hey, I've dealt with something

8:50

similar, but I know I'm a third of

8:54

your age and I can't know what you're

8:54

feeling, but just know that I at

8:59

least have an idea that is so huge.

9:02

I think about how many physical

9:02

therapists I'd go see, and it's just

9:07

like, you have no idea person because

9:07

you're fit and you're, you don't seem

9:13

to have any trouble moving, but just

9:13

someone's saying that just someone

9:17

saying I don't fully understand.

9:20

But we're here and we're going to do

9:20

this thing just don't understand fully,

9:28

because I think a lot of times when

9:28

people are working with you just how you

9:33

feel around them is so important too.

9:35

And you're probably a

9:35

very, very easy person to.

9:39

Work with, I try, I

9:39

try to be, I try to be.

9:43

And I think, you know,

9:43

I've gotten good feedback.

9:46

And the training program I initially

9:46

went through is really based on

9:49

communication, which I'm grateful for,

9:49

and that helped plus just lots of reps.

9:55

And you start to recognize that. You know, communication is,

9:58

is always a two-way street.

10:01

And even if you're hearing

10:01

someone it's really important

10:04

that they know they're heard. Yeah.

10:06

And that's, that's one thing

10:06

that there's a blind spot there.

10:10

I think in like the health and wellness

10:10

industry, whether it's physical issues,

10:14

mental I can speak more to the physical

10:14

ones cause that's more of my realm, but.

10:20

I see a lot of people who have

10:20

been through the medical system,

10:23

who've been to doctors, been to PTs

10:23

chiropractors, and the biggest issue

10:28

isn't necessarily the specifics.

10:31

You know, we can debate what the

10:31

best course of action is, but them

10:34

not being listened to, or felt heard

10:34

or empowered, you know, people being

10:39

dismissed and that's, if you can't

10:39

relate or you don't know the problem,

10:44

at least listening to the person

10:44

and validating what they're feeling.

10:48

It's so big. Yeah.

10:50

You're so right. I remember going to see doctors and they

10:51

were like, Oh, you just have, you know,

10:57

they would just assume they wouldn't

10:57

even do testing because I was so young.

11:02

Yeah. And then I ended up seeing a chiropractor

11:03

because I got desperate and he was like,

11:08

he diagnosed me with IBS with, for leg.

11:11

Pain. I don't know. Interesting.

11:15

I mean, thinking back it was veryweird. And he was just doing these intense

11:17

adjustments right up until my surgery.

11:23

Oh my goodness. They were like, yeah, that

11:24

probably didn't do you any favors?

11:27

Because I had, I had chunks of my disc

11:27

just like down in my spinal column.

11:31

So yeah. They were like, nah, that probably

11:33

wasn't a good idea, but you don't know.

11:36

You're like so desperate for help. Nobody's really listening to you.

11:40

I remember my, my mom, like crying and

11:40

begging a doctor to just order an MRI.

11:45

And he, I remember he just like

11:45

sh and like tossed it out us.

11:48

Like we got a call from the hospital.

11:52

Like she needs to be

11:52

admitted today right now.

11:55

Wow. Wow.

11:57

Yeah. So just that alone, like I was like, Oh my

11:59

God, somebody sees what's happening to me.

12:05

There's hope like finally

12:05

it was incredible.

12:09

Yeah. And that's, that's where this, you

12:10

know, the, the physical and the mental

12:15

really can intersect with the hope. Yeah.

12:18

I mean that's, and, and right

12:18

now, too, with everything going

12:21

on in the world and the country

12:21

I think hope is really important.

12:24

Oh yeah. You know, if you, if you don't recognize

12:25

that there can be positive change or

12:30

that you have some control over it,

12:30

it's really easy not to be hopeful.

12:34

Yeah. And if, yeah, if you don't have

12:34

someone listening to you, if doctors

12:38

or, or just dismissing, like, you

12:38

know, and, and when you're young and

12:43

scared and I've kind of been there too.

12:45

Yeah. And the challenge there is

12:45

like, you're you defer to them.

12:48

You trust them. You don't know yet how to

12:50

be an advocate for yourself.

12:53

No. And so you can go through this cycle of.

12:57

Going to different professionals

12:57

and not getting your needs met

13:00

and not really realizing it. Yeah, totally.

13:04

The whole self-empowerment thing is. Huge.

13:07

It's such a game changer. And just knowing that you can speak up

13:08

for yourself and be like, Hey, I'm not

13:13

really satisfied the answers I'm getting.

13:18

Can we look up? Yeah. Just little things like that.

13:21

And yeah, self-empowerment, I mean,

13:21

do the ability to believe that we can

13:25

make change and then take steps toward

13:25

that is huge, which is like, that's the

13:32

feeling that I get when I look at your. Instagram account and what

13:34

you're doing, it's like, yeah.

13:39

Change. Like you can change things for the better.

13:43

Yeah. Well that makes me really happy.

13:45

I mean, that is, that's like my

13:45

goal is basically I want people

13:49

to AB you know, be uplifted in

13:49

kind of, you know, a genuine way.

13:54

And then also empowered. You know, I want people to be able to

13:56

see it feel better, but also take action.

13:59

And, and I've found at least based

13:59

on the feedback I've gotten that

14:04

the best way to do that is just

14:04

be myself and educate where I can.

14:08

So I appreciate you mentioning

14:08

that, that, that means a lot to me.

14:12

It really does. Well, it should. It's it's it is so inspirational.

14:16

I know I was. I've just, I kind of wrote to you and I

14:18

was like, Oh, I'm inspired by what you do.

14:21

But I really mean that, like, I

14:21

only want to talk to people that I

14:24

feel like this makes so much sense.

14:27

This is definitely helpful. It's helpful to me.

14:30

I know it's helpful to other people

14:30

and it's authentic and genuine.

14:35

So, and that's probably one of the most

14:35

important things is feeling somebody.

14:40

So real deal, you know? Yeah.

14:43

Yeah. Well, what's funny is you mentioned

14:44

earlier about you know, do people feel

14:48

like they know you or for the internet?

14:51

Well, when I, since you brought him up and

14:51

he's come up on your podcast before Ryan

14:56

Fitzpatrick I'm interviewing him tomorrow. Yes, that's awesome.

15:00

So when I first met him I met him at

15:00

akin stretch seminar, and I don't think

15:06

I hadn't followed him at the time, but he

15:06

had followed me and he introduced himself

15:10

and he was so friendly and genuine, and

15:10

it was like this immediate connection.

15:15

And I had been staying with

15:15

two guys who I met on Instagram

15:19

and felt like I knew already. Because we had interacted and we're

15:21

both putting out videos and things that

15:25

are, you know, we're very authentic.

15:27

So it's this strange thing with social

15:27

media where you, if both parties are being

15:33

open and transparent and authentic, yeah.

15:36

You can make some really real connections.

15:39

That is the interesting thing

15:39

about Instagram specifically.

15:43

I was just talking about this with

15:43

Meg Yates, like last week or the

15:46

week before this interesting group,

15:46

that's kind of converged on Instagram.

15:51

We all kind of know each other. We all kind of get each other and Just

15:53

a real camaraderie and friendship there

15:57

though, because there is that genuine,

15:57

there is that sense of genuineness.

16:01

It's not necessarily Facebook where

16:01

everyone's just gathering friends and,

16:06

you know, we all have something to

16:06

say, you know, and we have to come from

16:11

that place or not come from that place.

16:14

But we attract to us the people

16:14

that are kind of in a similar.

16:20

Yeah. Yeah. I think regardless of someone's sort of

16:21

personality or predisposition if you're

16:27

putting out the stuff that's true to you.

16:29

Yeah. You're going to attract the

16:30

people that, that you want to

16:32

be around for the most part. Because the people that don't care about

16:34

what you're saying or don't vibe with

16:37

you, well, they're going to unfollow. Maybe or troll you who

16:39

knows all of the above.

16:45

Yes. Yeah. So interesting.

16:50

You say you're not in the mental health

16:50

realm so much, but I feel like what

16:54

you're doing is so mentally healthy.

16:59

No. Well, thank you.

17:01

If you move into that, I,

17:01

well, I've always been really

17:05

fascinated by psychology. And.

17:08

That has been kind of the

17:08

foundation for me of my own health.

17:12

And I really say I'm not in that

17:12

more in, I'm not conventionally

17:17

trained in mental health. I don't have, you know, degrees or

17:19

certifications, but that's, that's

17:24

the biggest thing I try to address

17:24

because as a trainer or coach.

17:27

Or this, you know, goofy Instagram person.

17:31

I realized that the best way I can help

17:31

people make changes is through, you

17:37

know, mental changes and changing their

17:37

maybe beliefs helping people change

17:42

their behaviors and habits because I

17:42

mean, how many people intellectually

17:48

know what to do or at least, yeah.

17:50

At least know how to improve certain things. You know, maybe you don't

17:52

know the finer parts of. Of certain types of training or

17:55

eating, but people generally have a

17:59

good sense of how they can improve.

18:01

And a lot of people don't do it

18:01

myself included in certain contexts.

18:06

So the mental part of it and the

18:06

psychology is, is really the biggest

18:09

factor when it comes to making changes.

18:14

Yeah. I love the idea of you

18:14

doing the bite sized.

18:17

Coffee bits because it is true.

18:22

I'm thinking I'm like, my

18:22

mind is kind of wandering.

18:24

Cause I'm, I'm thinking of several

18:24

people, like actual people that I know

18:28

that it's, that type of thing would

18:28

be so beneficial for myself included.

18:33

It is like just, just being able to

18:33

think about, okay, I don't have to

18:36

like put on my workout clothes and

18:36

get my, I can do this in my jammies.

18:40

Like as I'm getting my coffee

18:40

ready, like it's so, and then you

18:43

want to do more, you know, But you

18:43

don't have to either like it's.

18:50

Yeah. All you gotta do is this right?

18:54

Well, yeah. I don't know if you're familiar

18:55

with the book atomic habits.

18:58

I know it's in my reading list. I've read tons of quotes from it.

19:02

Yeah. But it's coming it's it's next?

19:05

I I've, I've read a good portion of it. And one of the stories that sticks out

19:07

to me the most is a guy who was a client

19:13

of, I think the author James clear. Who was looking to get in better shape and

19:15

lose weight, I think, and his habit for

19:21

the first week or two was just to drive

19:21

to the gym and then it was drive to the

19:27

gym, get out and do like five minutes of

19:27

exercise and leave and not do any more.

19:31

It was just so he's just establishing

19:31

the habit, keeping the barrier

19:35

really low and then building.

19:38

And that's, that's really the idea is, is.

19:41

Establish a habit, make it

19:41

less of a conscious effort

19:45

and then build from there. So you're, you're setting the foundation

19:46

in a way that, you know, if you were

19:50

to do it, if that's all you were to

19:50

do forever, it would be good, but it

19:54

might not move the needle as much as

19:54

you want, but from there you can build.

20:00

And I think that's no matter what

20:00

kind of change you're trying to

20:03

make, that's such a powerful idea. Yeah, it really is.

20:07

It's it's true though, too. Like the more you do the more you want

20:08

to do, and it's hard to think about that.

20:13

Well, so many of us want to just go to

20:13

the gym and work out for three hours

20:16

and like, I'm going to do this every day

20:16

or three days a week and we burn out.

20:22

Yeah. It's, it's really amazing talking to

20:25

someone about this recently about,

20:30

you know, the whole phenomenon of

20:30

the new year's resolutions lists.

20:35

And I remember especially seeing it

20:35

when I was on campus at Penn state

20:39

and I would be in there for five, six

20:39

days a week at the same times, and

20:44

then January would hit and suddenly

20:44

there's three times as many people.

20:48

Yeah. And by February, you know, half of

20:48

them had dropped off and by March.

20:53

It was back to normal and it's incredible

20:53

how consistent it was every year.

21:00

Yeah. And, you know, looking back, it's

21:01

like, I wish people, I mean, I

21:06

don't mind having an empty gym

21:06

you know, to be honest, but yeah.

21:11

You think about it's that

21:11

zero to a hundred mentality?

21:15

You go from doing nothing to, yeah. I'm going to raise the barrier

21:17

to an hour every day or try to do

21:21

six days a week instead of yeah.

21:23

Do a little bit of easy

21:23

movement a few days a week.

21:27

Yeah. It really is. It really can be that simple which is

21:29

what I love about what you're doing.

21:34

I want to go. I'm like debating, if I should

21:34

ask you more, you go for it.

21:40

Yeah. I'm game for whatever. So, can you give like a rough

21:43

timeline of kind of when, I mean,

21:48

you were saying after middle school,

21:48

but like, and then in college you

21:52

started kind of picking up this stuff. Was there a time in your life when

21:54

it just got to be so overwhelming?

22:01

That you just felt like giving up or

22:01

yeah, there were some times and optimism.

22:09

Yeah. No. So this and this is I think where I

22:09

should share more and I've tried to,

22:14

is some of the challenges I've had both

22:14

mentally and physically because people

22:18

see like, you know, a 30 something year

22:18

old, positive, relatively fit person.

22:24

It's like, okay, well what, what the hell do you know? You know?

22:27

Yeah. And. Anyhow, I I've I've I think I

22:29

was fortunate to have a nice

22:32

upbringing and be pretty privileged.

22:35

That being said, I, in college, there were

22:35

definitely times I was extremely down.

22:40

You know, not that I was ever going

22:40

to necessarily take action, but like

22:45

suicide definitely crossed my mind.

22:47

Like, and I think a lot of

22:47

people, it crosses your mind.

22:51

You think about it. You, you go down this

22:52

road of feeling isolated.

22:55

You convince yourself that you

22:55

don't, you're not really a positive

22:59

impact on society or on other

22:59

people and that, you know, well,

23:04

people won't miss me if I'm gone. So I mean, and, and I say that, knowing

23:07

that like when I get overstressed or

23:12

overwhelmed, those thoughts can creep in.

23:15

Now I'm much more capable of

23:15

coping with them at this point,

23:19

but there were times where I

23:19

thought, you know, what's the point.

23:22

Hmm in college for sure. And then, then when I was working, it

23:25

was kind of a toxic environment at times.

23:30

And the, the management was, there

23:30

were some major issues and I was young

23:36

and I looked up to these people and so

23:36

to be, to have them Gaslight me and.

23:45

You know, make things much more

23:45

personal than they had to be

23:48

and just be very poor mentors.

23:52

That weighed on me plus

23:52

working 65 to 75 hour weeks.

23:57

You know, I remember being really

23:57

tired and really stressed and just

24:01

feeling like, what am I going to do?

24:03

You know, I'm exhausted. My body hurts.

24:07

My brain hurts. Yeah.

24:09

And that's where. I think for a few years, the,

24:11

the conscious positivity and the

24:18

focus on mindset basically kept

24:18

me afloat in an environment.

24:22

I shouldn't have been able to sustain

24:22

because a lot of other people burn out

24:25

people younger than me came and left.

24:28

And I was in that environment for maybe

24:28

seven years and every day I would get

24:33

in my car, I would sit down and take

24:33

a deep breath and say, thank you.

24:37

And I would. I develop these habits of infusing

24:38

positivity and positive thoughts

24:44

into my day, I would wake up. I would smile.

24:47

I would do my routine. At one point, I had a roommate who worked

24:49

at the same place and like, he would

24:52

always get up and be like, why do you

24:52

always look so cheerful in the morning?

24:57

Like, for me, it was like, it

24:57

wasn't, it wasn't fake, but

25:00

it was, it was just a habit. It was like, I get up and I'm ready.

25:04

And I. Infuse myself with

25:05

energy because I have to.

25:08

And when I left that environment,

25:08

suddenly, I was like, Oh wow.

25:12

You know, I can like, I can

25:12

stretch my wings a little bit.

25:17

And those habits. Really served me well, once I was in

25:19

a place where I could express myself

25:23

better would you say that you were

25:23

recognizing how toxic it was while

25:29

you were in it, or, I mean, you were

25:29

saying after you left, it kind of felt

25:33

like a weight lifted or something.

25:37

Yes. I mean, I'm putting

25:38

words in your mouth, but. For a long time.

25:41

I didn't, you know, it was

25:41

kind of like a roller coaster.

25:45

Sometimes I would love it. Sometimes I would hate it and

25:46

start to recognize that like

25:51

I'm not being treated well. And you know, this is not,

25:53

this is not what I want, but

25:56

then you sort of get in this. I called it like a comfortably miserable

25:58

thing where I knew what to expect.

26:03

And it wasn't new. I could deal with it.

26:06

But I had a couple of friends

26:06

who were real with me, one of

26:10

whom used to work there and left

26:10

and said like, this is not okay.

26:15

The way they're treating you. And then once that spell was kind

26:17

of broken and I started to look

26:21

around and go, wait a second, like,

26:21

this is not, this is not right.

26:25

And, and this may relate a

26:25

little, not to the same intensity,

26:28

maybe to what you've dealt with. I don't know all the details, but you

26:30

know, the, the owner was Narcissistic

26:34

had all kinds of really awful personality

26:34

traits, but inconsistent, you know,

26:41

sometimes, you know, so you could, it's

26:41

easy to be like, especially when they're

26:46

older, they're in a position of authority

26:46

to be like, okay, I'm, I'm the problem.

26:52

And so I didn't realize it fully

26:52

until the last six, eight months.

26:59

And that's when there was this pull of.

27:02

I'm getting out soon, but I don't

27:02

know how much longer I can hold on.

27:07

And I totally relate. And you're right.

27:10

That's how it is when there's a problem

27:10

and you think you're the problem and

27:15

you're trying to do everything you can. To not be the problem right.

27:21

Or to fix it or to make it feel better. That's that is what it's like.

27:25

And yeah. I'm sorry.

27:27

Well, it's yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:33

And this is, yes, I know.

27:37

Of course I have to spin it. I can't not.

27:42

But what well, what I was going to say is

27:42

one of the, one of the main positives is

27:46

it did force me to develop healthy habits.

27:48

Because I did take full responsibility

27:48

for the way I felt I was being

27:54

overworked put way too much pressure

27:54

on myself and then being torn down.

27:59

So I thought, well, I'm going

27:59

to do everything I can control

28:02

to make myself feel good. I'm going to develop.

28:05

Strategies to ensure I get the food I

28:05

need ensure I get rest, wake up early to

28:11

reduce stress, move, learn as much as I

28:11

can about psychology and physical health.

28:17

So that when I left, it was like, okay, I

28:17

now have these tools that I can choose to

28:21

use, but I don't have to, just to survive.

28:24

Yes. I think it's such an important thing.

28:27

When people are in that space, whether

28:27

it's with their family or they're in a

28:31

relationship that's just really toxic.

28:35

We do, we get in that mindset and to hear

28:35

it from somebody like you, who kind of,

28:39

you had a good foundation, it sounds like.

28:41

You know, when you ended up in

28:41

this situation through work.

28:45

So you were probably a little

28:45

more able to quick more quickly.

28:50

I don't know if more quickly is the

28:50

right word, you were there for seven

28:53

years, but do the things to take care

28:53

of yourself, you know, while you're

28:57

in that environment, until you can get

28:57

out, like, that's just such an, a huge,

29:02

important lesson to learn, especially.

29:04

Yeah. When we're coming out of these

29:05

things that feel, you know, they

29:10

just feel like home, like it's true. Some of us were raised

29:12

by people like that. And we don't know, we don't know how to

29:14

take care of ourselves and we don't know

29:20

what to do because it's just how life is.

29:23

But once we start waking up, if the first

29:23

thing that we can do is these little

29:28

seemingly little things to take care of

29:28

ourselves in the moment until we can get.

29:32

Out, that's such a big, that's

29:32

really helpful to people.

29:38

And to know that like, even, even

29:38

people like you are dealing with these

29:43

things in that way, and it's hard to

29:43

recognize too, so it's okay if you

29:49

don't figure it out right away it right.

29:51

Exactly. I was, you know, I was a relatively

29:51

positive fit young person and I just.

29:58

I didn't see what was in front of me. I, you know, I was not brainwashed,

30:00

but I was in enough of a trance and

30:06

had enough trust in these people

30:06

above me that I just didn't see it.

30:13

And you can, you can, I'm not going

30:13

to get into it, but you can see all

30:15

kinds of stuff throughout the country

30:15

of, of people who, you know, have

30:21

trust in a certain authority maybe.

30:23

And it, it creates blind spots.

30:27

And again, fortunately, I was mostly

30:27

developed at that point, you know,

30:33

I, I don't know what it's like to

30:33

be, and we all deal with different

30:36

childhood kind of traumas, but to be

30:36

going through development and having

30:41

to deal with that is very different. Yeah, it is.

30:45

It's like, that's just how the world

30:45

operates, but I mean And to not knowing,

30:53

I think some of us who did grow up that

30:53

way, we learned skills to, well, it's

30:59

like dissociation and things like that. So it's not super healthy, but you

31:01

know, our bodies tend to shut down

31:05

on us, but you not, not being aware,

31:05

like being trusting, that, that kind

31:11

of thing, like it's kind of the same

31:11

way you trust your parent right there.

31:15

Your caregiver. You're supposed to be able to trust them.

31:18

So you do, but you coming from a

31:18

more trustworthy environment, you

31:24

probably didn't realize there were

31:24

people like that out in the world.

31:27

Right? Right. I mean, I can, one of the things

31:28

that stands out to me is like, I can

31:32

distinctly remember being asked by my

31:32

boss, you know, what motivates you?

31:37

You you're like an enigma because

31:37

I was just happy and energized

31:40

and did whatever I was asked. And I'm real.

31:43

Like I realized later, it's like, when

31:43

you watch a movie and then you have

31:46

the, you know, that surprise ending or

31:46

what, and then you go back and watch

31:50

it and you see these little things. I'm like, Oh yeah, this was one of those

31:51

moments where I'm like, Oh, he was trying

31:57

to figure out how he could manipulate me.

31:59

Yeah. Cause I said, well, I just want to

32:00

know that at the end of the day,

32:02

I, I helped as much as I could.

32:05

And I did my best. I was like, Oh, jackpot.

32:07

Like this guy is going to be easy. Oh.

32:11

So yeah, the sabotage probably began.

32:15

Wow. So interesting.

32:18

And it's true. Like there are so many

32:19

narcissistic type people.

32:22

I don't want to go around

32:22

diagnosing everybody.

32:25

But there are those traits

32:25

that can be pretty prominent

32:28

in a person's personality. And it's, it's kind of everywhere.

32:34

It's like, I remember when I started

32:34

waking up to this stuff and realizing

32:38

like, whenever I see someone being like

32:38

emotionally manipulative or even myself,

32:42

I'm like, Oh my God, I'm a narcissist.

32:46

Look at me, go You used to start to kind

32:46

of see it everywhere, how the unhealthy,

32:54

just the way we manipulate and maneuver

32:54

through life and try to get people to,

33:02

I don't know, be the way we want them

33:02

to be, which is so interesting to me.

33:07

Like. I don't even care how much somebody

33:07

says, Oh, I don't care people that

33:10

people, that everyone is themselves. You do you, whatever.

33:13

We still have this need

33:13

and desire somewhere.

33:16

Sometimes it's just like, make

33:16

the world the way we want it.

33:20

And wow. Yeah.

33:24

Well, yeah. And I, you know, it's like a continuum,

33:25

you know, I started to notice that too,

33:28

when you start to notice certain people. And when you do more deep work on

33:30

yourself and try to observe some of your

33:34

thoughts and your tendencies, the things

33:34

you do and don't like, or that you want

33:39

to change, then you start noticing.

33:42

And other people like the

33:42

ability to listen and empathize.

33:46

And when you, you know, there's a

33:46

continuum, so you might be around

33:49

someone who's all the way on one end.

33:52

And can only talk about themselves

33:52

and whatever it might be.

33:57

And what's nice is the more aware of it.

33:59

You are, the more you can say,

33:59

okay, well, I don't have to spend

34:03

time or energy on this person. Yeah.

34:06

And that's all you need to do. Right?

34:08

Right. The challenge is like ignoring

34:09

red flags and then, you know,

34:14

investing time and energy and care.

34:17

Yeah, totally get that. And it's a good lesson to learn.

34:20

I'm a big advocate of meditation and

34:20

just getting in touch with yourself

34:26

and Being aware, like, but being

34:26

aware of how your body feels in the

34:30

environment, being aware of what's

34:30

going on with you, your feelings.

34:33

Cause I still struggle with that. Like knowing what I'm feeling in the

34:34

moment, actually feeling right now.

34:41

But just getting really

34:41

comfortable with practicing.

34:45

Being in your body do you do anything

34:45

like mindful embodiment type work?

34:51

Yeah. Yeah, I do. So I, I have, I meditate daily,

34:53

you know, it depends on, you

34:58

know, maybe 20 to 40 minutes. Sometimes I fall asleep sometimes it's

35:01

just that's Hey, sleep is meditation.

35:06

I actually, so I joined, I don't know

35:06

if you follow Samantha fall Haber.

35:10

Sam lifts you up. Samantha lifts you up is her handle.

35:14

She's a friend of mine and

35:14

she's running kind of like a

35:17

self-driven mentorship course

35:19

a lot of it is focused on internal

35:19

sensations and she's doing a monthly

35:24

class and the first month was, it

35:24

was all internal sensations and like

35:30

feeling all these different things

35:30

and just tuning into yourself and

35:35

your body and what you're feeling. Yeah.

35:38

I've been working on

35:38

that as well, because.

35:41

You know, just observing what you

35:41

feel and then connecting that with

35:46

your thoughts or what you think your

35:46

thoughts are, you know, it's like, well,

35:50

what do certain feelings represent?

35:54

What can I learn my feelings?

35:56

Can I start to tune in more

35:56

and recognize things earlier?

36:01

So I've been working a lot on that. And one thing I've been working on more

36:02

as I've been reintroduced myself to this

36:07

idea of neuroplasticity and this, and

36:07

I'm strengthening this belief of like

36:12

every thought I have is an opportunity

36:12

to reinforce how I want to think.

36:19

I've, I've been using my imagination

36:19

more and I love, I love using it and

36:22

yeah, in play, I'm really good at that.

36:25

But using it in like imagining

36:25

my life as I want it to be.

36:31

And it's a really calming

36:31

comforting activity.

36:34

And after a few weeks you get

36:34

better at it and anyone listening

36:38

and you might be able to relate if

36:38

you've ever gone into your brain.

36:43

And you've tried to imagine something

36:43

good and not been able to, you know,

36:49

I've been there and what's neat is.

36:52

Figuring out ways that suddenly I'm

36:52

like, Oh, I can see that clearly.

36:56

And I can feel like you can feel

36:56

the sensations in your body.

37:01

And you can realize also, like,

37:01

is this what I'm imagining

37:05

something I want in one to pursue?

37:08

And should I, should my

37:08

actions start to reflect that?

37:13

So it's, it's really exciting. I'll, I'll do that usually for a few

37:14

minutes before I go to bed before I fall

37:18

asleep and I like get excited for it.

37:21

That's the best time to

37:21

do it too, before sleep.

37:23

Yeah. This whole idea of, of building

37:24

your building your life and

37:29

building the person you want to be. We all have personalities, not all of it.

37:34

It's just the way we were born. You know, a lot of it is the

37:36

way we've adapted to life and.

37:41

Just like taking control and taking

37:41

power back and saying, this is

37:46

how I want to be in the world. You know, I never, that concept

37:48

was, it was always a very

37:53

foreign to me until the last. I don't know, probably couple

37:55

of years, even, you know, you

37:58

just don't think about it. You don't think about, I think initially

37:59

when you're not as open to that kind of

38:04

thing, you're thinking, well, that just

38:04

sounds like you're faking it till you

38:07

make it and like, you know, being fake.

38:11

Right. You know? Yeah.

38:14

The whole idea of building the

38:14

person that you want to be.

38:17

It's important. It's an empowering too. It's an empowering feeling.

38:22

It's so empowering and it's tough to,

38:22

you know, you can, you can go back and

38:28

forth between different mindsets, you

38:28

know, because you can really start to

38:33

steep in that Hill towards one direction.

38:35

I, I thought of it this morning, actually.

38:38

I was, I also. Right in the morning, I try to do

38:39

it before I check social media.

38:44

Or my phone, depending, depending

38:44

on if I have a client early or not.

38:47

Right. So that my brain's kind of clear.

38:50

So one thing I wrote this morning, I

38:50

love thinking it analogies or different

38:53

metaphors was you can imagine your

38:53

thoughts or your potential thoughts

39:00

as running water and a shower. And there's two drains.

39:04

On either side. One of them is more like negative

39:05

pessimistic, unconstructive thoughts

39:10

about things you can't control. And the other drain is more optimistic,

39:12

hopeful, kind of constructively positive.

39:18

And the more you start to think towards

39:18

the optimistic side, it's like you

39:25

imagine the floor shifting that direction.

39:28

And you start to divert more

39:28

of the water, more of those

39:31

potential thoughts to that drain.

39:34

And then you spend energy thinking them

39:34

as they go down that drain to your brain.

39:39

But then it can easily shift back. So, you know, I've found even as

39:41

recently as like a month ago, my

39:48

baseline thinking was much more

39:48

negative and not constructively,

39:53

not like, Oh, what can I do to. To improve this.

39:56

It was like, no, just, you know, less

39:56

hopeful, more pessimistic, more cynical.

40:02

And just a little bit of this focused,

40:02

conscious, positive thought has shifted.

40:09

Yeah. It's so true. It's it can kind of come back and bite

40:10

you when you're least expecting it.

40:14

Like Whoa, over this.

40:19

Just even this morning I was

40:19

having, I'm having a ditzy day.

40:25

Like, it's incredible. Like I woke up, I was driving back

40:26

home from my boyfriend's house and I

40:33

looked over the field and it was so

40:33

hazy that it looked like, literally

40:37

looked like the moon was over there

40:37

and I'm like, look at the moon.

40:43

And then I'm like, wait, that's the sun. It was just so.

40:47

It was just like, Oh my gosh.

40:50

And my first thing was, I'm an idiot.

40:52

And then I wanted to go down that rabbit

40:52

trail of like, you're such an idiot.

40:56

What's wrong with you. And like, I get nervous or scared

40:57

that like, I'm such an idiot.

41:00

How am I going to , even function today? But then I was just kinda like, no,

41:04

I'm just going to accept that some

41:08

days I'm just off and whether it's,

41:08

you know, my hormones are out of whack

41:12

or whatever, and I'm just extra did

41:12

I'll just say ditzy in a loving way.

41:17

Yeah. It's like, okay, this is

41:19

going to be fun today.

41:23

Yeah. Well, and so I do that too.

41:26

And you know, one of the things I

41:26

was thinking with like the shower

41:29

drain is even if you, you bias the

41:29

water towards the optimistic or

41:33

positive drain, like what are still

41:33

going to get in the other one?

41:36

It's just, if your proportion

41:36

of quote, unquote, positive to

41:40

negative thoughts is higher.

41:43

Generally, that's going to

41:43

be better if you can brush

41:46

off the, Oh, you're an idiot. Self-talk relatively soon.

41:51

That's going to be helpful. Cause I do that too.

41:53

It's like, Oh, like I'm so positive.

41:55

I'm so well adjusted. Like, man, I, I could look on

41:56

the bright side of anything and

42:00

then, you know, you stubbed your

42:00

toe and you're like, Oh, you eat.

42:04

And then you have a choice then like

42:04

what direction do I want to go from here?

42:08

And Steven noticing it,

42:08

I think is a big win.

42:13

Just noticing us, you're saying

42:13

that to yourself, like, Oh.

42:17

Yeah, that was a little idiotic,

42:17

but you're not an idiot.

42:20

You're just not fully awake or

42:20

haven't had enough coffee or whatever.

42:27

Exactly, exactly. I, so I did these Series.

42:32

I still will post them on Instagram

42:32

occasionally of I tweet out these

42:35

positive spin things and I just call

42:35

it positive spin tweet, just mostly

42:40

like superficial, because I'm always

42:40

trying to be aware of the, the line

42:44

between the fake it till you make it.

42:46

And the, and being sensitive to

42:46

people who have like genuinely

42:51

awful things happen in their lives. I would never suggest

42:53

you try to spin that.

42:56

Or so I'm always thinking like, For

42:56

the superficial stuff like stubbing

43:00

your toe, like spilling coffee,

43:00

like hitting a bunch of red lights.

43:04

I would come up with these, this inner

43:04

dialogue and post it for this like

43:08

kind of annoyingly positive spin. Yeah.

43:11

And I had multiple people reach out

43:11

to me and say it changed how they

43:15

thought that just seeing that over

43:15

and over, they had something happen

43:20

like a flat tire or something. And like their second

43:22

thought was a positive spin.

43:26

And that's just something that. It's superficial, but over time that

43:28

can accumulate and your brain does start

43:33

getting better at thinking positively.

43:37

And if it's constructive too, that's great. Yeah, for sure.

43:40

I'm thinking that would be really

43:40

helpful too, for people that have

43:43

anxiety and are there anticipating

43:43

those like things happening and then

43:49

like, Oh no, I'm just even thinking.

43:52

Okay. Well, what if I did get

43:52

a flat tire on this trip?

43:55

You know, maybe I'll meet someone

43:55

phone on the side of the road.

44:00

It's totally. I mean, how many times does that

44:01

happen when you're not expecting

44:04

it and you do meet somebody cool

44:04

or have a cool experience and yeah.

44:08

With anxiety and things like that. I think it's really, really easy if

44:09

you're in a negative mindset like

44:13

that, it's really easy to continue

44:13

that even when stuff's not happening,

44:19

you're expecting it to Yeah.

44:22

So, yeah, it's just a good practice. I love that.

44:24

I love that you're doing that. I'll have to check some of those out.

44:28

Yeah. I'll have to post some more soon. But, and what I found is like, it

44:29

changed my thinking, just sharing it.

44:33

Like I felt stupid sharing it, like,

44:33

Oh, this is going to be a noodle.

44:36

But then, you know, something happened

44:36

that was like negative or, you know, I

44:40

cracked an egg into the sink or, you know,

44:40

some, one of those little annoying thing

44:46

and I got excited cause I was like, Oh,

44:46

here's another one I can positively spin.

44:51

And I was like, wow. And so it's amazing how these

44:53

little tiny seemingly superficial

44:57

things can actually alter. How our brain works.

45:01

Yeah. They seem tiny, but they're really not.

45:04

That's really a big deal. I love that.

45:07

You're doing that. I love how you do that.

45:09

You take the seemingly small things.

45:11

I was watching something of you.

45:13

I think it was a couple months ago maybe. And you were talking about how draw

45:16

on your hand or draw on your arm?

45:20

Yeah. No. It's like that's so, yeah, I loved that.

45:25

It's so small, but it's like a

45:25

way to connect with yourself.

45:30

And so many people don't think about that.

45:32

And you make people think about that

45:32

by just talking about it and it's yeah.

45:37

I love that. I think it's really, really helpful.

45:40

I think it's a great thing for

45:40

the world that, that you're here.

45:45

Well, I really appreciate that. That's again, that's my hope.

45:48

You know, it's funny. Cause I think people who don't know me

45:49

or who stumble across any of my posts

45:54

and they're, they're not used to seeing

45:54

this type of stuff on Instagram are

45:58

probably like, why are you sharing this?

46:01

And the whole reason is sure, it's,

46:01

there's a benefit to me to express myself.

46:06

And that's the whole point of me

46:06

sharing it in tri is trying to.

46:10

Raise other people's awareness of

46:10

how they can express themselves.

46:16

In, in positive ways, I think through

46:16

potential blind spots, like, like

46:21

when I was at this job and I didn't

46:21

draw on my hand and after like two

46:24

years, I forgot, I even used to do it. It's like a whole importance.

46:28

Self-expression just

46:28

erased from my memory.

46:32

Yeah, until something jogged it.

46:35

I love that it's like your brain

46:35

was surviving or something.

46:40

Didn't have time to have that capacity.

46:45

No. So what are you doing during

46:45

this quarantine COVID world time?

46:52

Yeah, that's a great question. So I am, I am training

46:53

a few people outside.

46:57

Yeah. Kind of socially distance training,

46:57

my studio, which I opened last.

47:04

I never officially opened,

47:04

but around last September the

47:08

ventilation is really poor and I'm

47:08

not training anyone there right now.

47:12

So I'm kind of pivoting

47:12

to more online stuff.

47:16

Yeah. I've got, I've got some upgrades to

47:16

my, my online membership in the works.

47:21

So I'm, I'm excited for that because

47:21

my goal there is like, make this low

47:25

barrier stuff mentally and physically

47:25

accessible to as many people as possible.

47:31

So the, the biggest feedback

47:31

I generally get is on like

47:35

the positivity and the smiles. So I want to keep putting that out.

47:39

And some I'm working on that,

47:39

trying to record things, I'm doing

47:43

some zoom sessions and And trying

47:43

to read more and I am actually

47:47

exercising more, which is nice. Yeah.

47:50

Probably a little more time to do it. Yes.

47:54

Well, and which I'm unsure, a lot

47:54

of people can relate to kind of

47:58

reprioritizing because while I loved

47:58

what I was doing and my business

48:04

was successful, I found myself back

48:04

to this, like get up really early.

48:09

And do trading sessions do training

48:09

sessions late in the evening

48:14

and sleep in my own wellbeing.

48:16

We're not as high of a priority.

48:19

Yeah. Oh, you know, again, I apologize for

48:20

the positive spin, but with all the

48:25

horror around us there has been an

48:25

opportunity to kind of re prioritize.

48:30

That's good. That's good. Yeah. It's been a very interesting time.

48:35

Yes. Well, and you, so you've

48:36

been doing this podcast.

48:38

Have you been doing anything else? Exciting? I have been re revamping my life too.

48:43

Just, I let go of a job that was

48:43

also a very toxic environment.

48:49

And I was like, I want to

48:49

focus on my stuff and doing.

48:55

What I think I meant to be doing right

48:55

now and not worrying too far into the

49:02

future about what it's going to be.

49:04

Just do the thing now. And I know that whether this picks

49:06

up or I need to do other things

49:10

I'm just gonna, I'm going to

49:10

take advantage of this right now.

49:14

I'm gonna take advantage of that. It was just, it was just

49:17

a shift that happened.

49:19

You know, it happened because I was

49:19

being more aware and I was being

49:22

more of an advocate for myself.

49:25

I'm okay with that. Yeah.

49:28

Well, you got out of it. That's good. Yeah.

49:30

Yeah. And so it was just kind of

49:31

like, okay, this ended and I've

49:33

already been doing this thing.

49:35

I don't want to splash around

49:35

in the puddles anymore.

49:39

Kind of a thing, you know, like

49:39

it's, let's do something with

49:43

this and I've wanted to do a

49:43

podcast for a couple of years.

49:47

And I, I thought it was just

49:47

going to be me talking like me,

49:50

narrating me doing my writing stuff.

49:53

And I'm really loving having

49:53

conversations with people.

49:56

So it's just, I keep asking

49:56

people and it keeps happening.

49:59

So I'm like, Hey, maybe this

49:59

is how it's going to be.

50:02

But I love taking those

50:02

steps and finding that out.

50:05

I like it. I, I love the, you know, the idea of

50:06

just exploring different things and

50:11

seeing how it feels and all about that.

50:14

Self-awareness like, how

50:14

does this make me feel?

50:17

Do I enjoy it? Is this sustainable?

50:19

Well, I can explore more. That's what I've been finding is the

50:21

things that I am most passionate about.

50:27

That's what I want to do. And. Unsurprisingly.

50:30

That's what people respond most to,

50:30

because if you're letting that, that

50:34

pure expression out in that passion yeah.

50:36

People are going to connect with that. Yeah.

50:39

And then if, you know, if you can make

50:39

that into, into a living, that's great.

50:43

Right. That's what's also ideal, right?

50:49

That's another one thing to working on

50:49

money, mindset and building a business.

50:53

That's huge. I think a lot of us don't think

50:54

we deserve to do the things that

50:58

we enjoy and live off of it.

51:01

Like, no, that's just

51:01

something you do on the side.

51:03

And. Right.

51:07

Yeah. That's so I dealt with some guilt when

51:08

I left my job because, you know, I had

51:13

saved some money and, you know, I have

51:13

a supportive family as well, so I had a

51:18

little bit of freedom, but I also, you

51:18

know, I jumped into, I did a road trip,

51:22

but I jumped into building a website. Writing creating videos.

51:25

That's when I started really

51:25

putting out consistent content.

51:29

So it's not like I was just relaxing. I was working, but I felt guilty because

51:31

I wasn't doing 12 training sessions a day.

51:37

You know, it's like, I'm not working

51:37

six to six or even nine to five.

51:41

I have flexibility. And it's like, we've been conditioned

51:43

to think this way that you're

51:47

supposed to work eight, nine,

51:47

10 hours in a block of time.

51:52

Or you're not working. So I had that, a similar thought of

51:54

like, even when, when my business was

51:59

going really well, that I had opened,

51:59

I was busy and I had to get up early

52:03

and I was up late training, but I

52:03

had gaps of time throughout the day.

52:07

So like I could go and play at

52:07

noon and, and part of me felt

52:10

guilty and like, I'm still working. I'm making money.

52:13

Why do I have to. Conform to these standards.

52:17

So we have a lot of our

52:17

own perceived judgment.

52:21

Yeah. But Hey, if you can do what you

52:22

love and make it work, why not?

52:26

Yeah. Yeah. I'm moving into the coaching

52:27

thing, so it's kind of.

52:31

That's another one, right? The whole imposter syndrome of who

52:33

am I to help anyone else realize

52:40

their full potential capacity.

52:44

Very interesting. But when you start doing

52:45

it, it's, it gets easier.

52:49

And yeah, you're right. There's, there's guilt around the

52:50

not looking like everybody else.

52:56

Not doing it like everybody else. And it's almost like this thing

52:58

of like, well, I just, I remember

53:02

my parents homeschooled me at

53:02

some point in middle school.

53:05

That's when it started. And we would have gaps too,

53:06

because you could get all your

53:10

work done in an hour or two. Like if you think about it, all the

53:11

work that you do in school, it's really,

53:16

it's really maybe a couple of hours. Right.

53:20

It'd be moving more like, yeah,

53:20

it shouldn't be locked up in

53:24

school for seven or eight hours. I remember feeling weird about

53:26

people asking me about that.

53:29

They're like, well, what do you do all day? And I'm like, what do you mean?

53:31

What do I do all day? Like I can do whatever. Yeah.

53:36

, it's just kind of like, yeah, but you

53:36

think differently when you do have more

53:42

gaps like that, and it's more flexible.

53:45

So. I love that about it. Yeah.

53:48

And, and coaching's cool. I mean, that's, what's neat is

53:50

imposter syndrome is always going to

53:55

be present in some capacity, but we're

53:55

all unique and we uniquely connect

54:00

with people and, you know, you find

54:00

people who, you know, connect with

54:05

and trust you, and that's a good fit.

54:08

Yeah. This has been a really

54:09

wonderful conversation.

54:12

And I so appreciate you coming on. Well, I really appreciate you

54:15

having me on is there anything

54:18

you want to impart to us? Well, today I I think a big

54:20

thing is actually conversations.

54:27

Like you talked about, I've been finding

54:27

so much value in having like real

54:32

open, honest conversations with people. And I feel fortunate that I've been able

54:35

to, so that's one thing I've been trying

54:38

to kind of do at least one side of that on

54:38

Instagram, I've been talking about stuff.

54:43

So yeah. I would say, try to have as

54:46

many open, honest conversations

54:49

as you can, especially with

54:49

stress levels, being high a lot.

54:52

We can't control. I think it's really important to like

54:54

deeply relate to people right now.

54:59

I like that. Connection is huge it's been

55:01

such a disconnected time I know,

55:07

I know, but you have, if we it's,

55:07

it's amazing the difference.

55:10

Some, whether it's in-person or,

55:10

or even a resume, just having like.

55:15

Making a connection with

55:15

someone it can really change

55:17

the rest of your day or week. Yeah, for sure.

55:20

Definitely. Well, thank you so much for

55:21

connecting with me and with everyone.

55:24

Who's going to be listening to this today.

55:28

You're welcome. We appreciate you. I appreciate you.

55:32

Thanks so much. I'll talk to you later. All right.

55:36

All right. Have a good one. You too. Thanks.