Do you have an emotional bully in your life who harasses, demeans, or criticizes you? Maybe it’s your boss, friend, or even your love partner.  Or perhaps you bully yourself relentlessly, pointing out all of your flaws and weaknesses and making you believe you’re a puny little nothing. If that’s the case, then there is help on the way. Our friend and favored guest, Sean Kanan, Emmy winner and beloved actor in the classic Karate Kid and Cobra Kai franchises, graced us with his advice on how to defeat the bullies in your life. Here are some important tips we learned from master teacher Sean (wayofthecobra.com):

*Never compromise your character. Stand firm in who you really are.  Don’t let other people try to tempt you or bully you into doing things you don’t really want to do. When you stay true to your inner self—your Hara (center of power in the East)—you will be happy and proud of your authentic nature. No one can push you off balance. 

*Respect yourself and others. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and other people. Although anger is a common reaction when others try to hurt us, we need to rein in our reactions and do what is best for our mental and physical health. See the angry person as someone who suffers from their own out of control nature, while you maintain your calm and peaceful composure. Practice self-care, breathe deeply, meditate, or engage in a spiritual practice. Conserve your integrity and peace of mind at all costs.

*Take a Personal Inventory. Fear is what holds many people back. In a journal or notebook, write down the fears you have in your life. Note the times you have the fear, the intensity of the fear, and what you did to deal with it.  When you do this, you will discover your fear triggers—when and how you become fearful and anxious. Now you can begin to neutralize the fears and focus on the parts of you that are good, powerful, and noble.

*Think From Abundance. Many times our anxieties, worries, and insecurities stem from our belief in lack—we think we don’t have enough; we’re not good enough. As a result, we settle for being with negative and critical people who feed into our erroneous self-belief that we’re not good enough. The simple antidote is to believe that there is an abundance of love, prosperity, health, and happiness for you. When you think from a mindset of abundance, you never have to settle for less. You can live more and love more, always.

Yes, you can defeat inner and outer bullies by the power of your mind. You don’t even have to throw a punch or kick. Most bullies are cowardly, so having a steely inner mind of confidence, poise, and balance will throw them off balance and defeat them. You can also defeat your inner critical thoughts (thought bullies) by saying: “I don’t need to listen to your poisonous words. I can be free, strong, loving, and happy. I am the Cobra. I am Invincible.”