If you are meeting, you may know some things already. Know at least the basics of what you want. Usually dating sites can help with this, but they might not provide everything you’re looking for in terms of information. If you can get a picture of the person in the context of what you’re looking for before meeting up …. without being too unnatural in conversation …. then go for it. Having someone (like a shadchan/matchmaker  or a genuine friend) makes getting intellectual questions like “how many kids” easier because they can ask in a more formal way and it feels like a screening which is an honest approach when what you're doing is actually, openly, and honestly screening. Don’t feel bad to perform screening by these means, keeping it natural and polite, because what you’re looking for is YOUR HUSBAND / YOUR WIFE / YOUR BESHERT!

So why meet? To find out if you’re comfortable around this person. ALSO, to ask any of these intellectual questions which are perhaps too personal to ask online and without full context. 

Questions like 

“Do you want kids? How many kids do you wish to have?” 

-- should not be coming up 2 months later because what you’re aiming for is clarity. 

Make a list of everything that you value. Include points within the physical, emotional, and especially intellectual categories. 

Finally, how do you feel? The first moment may have a bit of unease, but it shouldn’t be long lasting at all, and in fact - that person should make you comfortable with who you are.  Be mindful during the meeting to notice how you feel, and how the other person interacts with you and those around them. “Are they gentle, kind, funny, lively etc…?”

Afterwards, go introspective and ask yourself, how did the other person make you feel? Write it down, keep it so that you can make decisions off of it. Remember, you’re looking for the one who will be the closest to you, forever -- so, all of it matters.  

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LVH 45 Ahava 23 DatingF5

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