Welcome to Love via HaShem. This lesson is about Mashpia.

After finding someone, write down your list:

• How do you feel around people? (determining chemistry)
• Ask about relationship with each parents
• Who is their Mashpia?
• What do you want out of life?
• What is something that their mother/father does which they like?
• What is something that your own mother/father do which you like and want to emulate in some way?
  

It’s best to look introspectively at yourself, lest we get too interogative with the other person. Understanding ourselves can be just as important.

Mashpia (Hebrew: משפיע‎) lit. "person of influence", pl. Mashpi'im (Hebrew: משפיעים‎) -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mashpia

Who is their Mashpia? Is there anyone (elder prefered) guides them?

When they are going in the wrong direction, who sounds the siren? Be careful of someone who has no points of authority, counselors, or advisors. It’s quite possible that they don’t like people telling them what to do. When you try to give them advice, maybe they won’t be so receptive. Perhaps they’ll tell you to stop acting like their mom, or to stop “preaching” at them, when all you’re trying to do is positively offer advice. Some people just want affirmation - “yes” humans around them, to make them feel good about every decision.  Everything that a person has, doesn’t have, says, and doesn’t say, all can be telling about them, their personality, and what direction they’re going in life. Let’s determine whether it’s the same path that you’re walking on.

Write about what you want out of life.

Where do you want to be in a year? Perhaps, you’d like to have your own business up and running by then, or to get healthy by changing how to eat and exercise …. Or whatever it is …. Understand yourself, and come to understand the other person.

It shouldn’t be that a child wants to be NOTHING like their parents, or that NOTHING from them is worthy of passing down. That’s a red flag. So, find out what is it about their parent’s child-raising that they like.

#Random … Speaking of children, never criticize your spouse in front of the children. Better yet, never criticize your spouse in front of anyone.

Don’t scream/yell for/at that person who is close to you from another room. They’re not an animal. As much as possible, try to go up and talk to your dearest. :)

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