0:00

A week ago, I spent my life racing

0:03

against time. I'm gonna

0:05

help you out today, okay? Trying to

0:07

save people who are running out of it. Get in!

0:10

Until one moment... changed

0:12

everything. This is

0:15

an emergency. Get off the train. That man's

0:17

trying to kill you. What? Who are you?

0:19

What is going on? I

0:22

can see the future. You

0:27

sound insane. You like that?

0:30

Oh, yeah. The whole world got

0:32

crazy! Are you serious?

0:34

We even do! It's showtime.

0:37

That's right. We

0:39

spent last week in

0:41

the cesspool that was Argyle. We

0:44

continue waiting around the

0:46

cesspool this week. As

0:49

we discuss one brought to

0:51

us, courtesy, Sony

0:53

Pictures. In

0:56

association with Marvel and,

1:00

apparently, Pepsi

1:02

Pictures. It's

1:04

Madam Webtime on Mad About Movies. Welcome in.

1:06

I'm Kent. Joined by

1:08

co-hosts Richard Bryan. Boys,

1:11

how we doing? We're almost

1:13

to Dune 2, I promise. A couple more weeks here. But,

1:16

man, they are starting off the year strong.

1:19

Depending on your perspective. Should

1:21

we take February off in the

1:23

future? Just do

1:25

throwbacks or something for February? Yeah. It's

1:28

this. I say just take it off. I

1:30

feel... I have so little

1:32

will to live at this point. I mean, it's

1:34

dark days, man. This was freaking brutal. It's

1:38

pretty bad. It seems to be the new

1:41

September is February

1:44

now. You just drop in

1:46

movies that you know are bad and... We're

1:48

those tax write-offs when we need them. I know. We're

1:51

right. Could really go

1:53

for a Looney Tunes movie right about now. I

1:56

mean, I'm glad I'm married for a lot of reasons. But

1:58

I told you guys I'm super... I'm never glad I

2:01

was not trying to impress a girl this

2:03

Valentine's Day, you know? Like, I didn't

2:05

have a lot of my self esteem riding on

2:07

whether this date went well, because it's like, honey,

2:09

we can go see Madam

2:11

Web, or Argyle, or, you

2:14

wanna see this Bob Marley movie, maybe, or?

2:16

Yeah, I'm on. I hope

2:18

you like that one too. Lisa Frankenstein, I mean, there's just a, a

2:21

murderer's row of great movies

2:24

out right now, so. It was at

2:26

least January, you still have all these, like, Oscar-y

2:28

movies. I didn't get a chance to see. But

2:30

even those, it's like, who wants to take a

2:32

date to see Oppenheimer, you

2:34

know? Like, that's not a very lighthearted

2:37

thing. It does not, I don't know,

2:42

so to speak. All right, time

2:44

to talk Madam Web, fellas. This

2:47

one is gonna be fun for a lot of

2:49

reasons, and I wanna talk just

2:51

about the concept for this, and

2:55

sort of the discussion up until release.

2:58

We'll talk about the movie itself here in

3:00

a bit, and get the spoilers, all that kind

3:02

of stuff, don't worry. I think this is a

3:04

concept that

3:06

people were kind of in on, and

3:09

correct me if I'm wrong, Brian, as I pass it

3:12

to you, I don't remember there being any negative

3:14

discourse around we're making a

3:18

female-led Spider-Man movie with

3:20

Dakota Johnson. I don't remember

3:22

that. I don't remember the negativity until,

3:25

feel like Dakota saw a screening of it,

3:27

maybe, and then it kind of started

3:29

to get out there, that it was bad, and then people started to

3:31

put on it. Maybe the trailer? Yeah,

3:36

but I do feel like there was negativity until

3:40

very recently. I

3:42

might be wrong, though. I don't

3:44

totally remember, but I think that, I

3:48

think there was some, number one, I think

3:50

people focused a lot of their attention on

3:53

Craven the Hunter, which we still have that to

3:55

look forward to, which I

3:58

think we all expect is just. a

4:00

real turd of a movie. And

4:03

then you can make some jokes about Venom 3 if

4:05

you want to as well, I'm happy to join in

4:07

that. People really

4:09

like Dakota Johnson. It's not

4:12

for me, this is not my jam really. She's

4:14

been very good in a couple

4:17

of things and very bad

4:19

in some other things. I feel like it's fine,

4:21

that's like a lot of actors and actresses, it

4:23

doesn't. I think on

4:26

average, most people are

4:28

way more in whatever Dakota

4:30

Johnson is doing than I am, so maybe

4:32

I'm the wrong person to ask. I

4:35

know this is a terrible idea just from the

4:37

standpoint of we can't just

4:39

give a movie to every person

4:41

who's ever had a comic book

4:43

named after them for seven runs

4:46

or whatever. The

4:50

idea of a female-led superhero

4:53

movie, that's fine. I mean,

4:55

that's what I say publicly, but you guys all see

4:58

my text. No, that part's totally

5:00

fine. And in some ways, okay, yeah, cool,

5:02

we do need more women

5:05

and female characters, female-led movies,

5:07

all these sorts of things, great.

5:10

Did it need to be this one? I would

5:12

say probably. Probably. Yeah, I don't know the back

5:15

of anything, right? Yeah,

5:17

exactly. Yeah, so I

5:19

don't remember if there was an immediate

5:21

initial outcry on this thing or

5:23

if it has just built over time. The

5:26

trailer was horrendous. And

5:28

yeah, the press tour, I

5:31

don't know that Sony could have

5:33

imagined a less

5:36

successful press tour than the one that Dakota

5:38

Johnson and to a lesser extent, Sydney Sweeney,

5:40

have been on over these

5:42

last couple of months. I think

5:44

there was positivity because of Sony's

5:48

handling of Spider-Verse and all that,

5:50

now they handled letting Marvel

5:53

or MCU do what they want, Marvel Studios

5:55

do what they want with Spider-Man and kind

5:58

of worked in tandem with them. I think

6:00

on No Way Home and – People

6:03

are less down on Venom than we are. Right.

6:06

Generally speaking. Generally speaking,

6:08

unfortunately, we're going to have

6:10

to see Venom 3 at some point, but I

6:13

think the general public, you're right, enjoys those

6:15

movies. And so I think at the

6:17

outset, people were like, okay, I'll give this

6:19

a chance. Then

6:21

you start hearing some rumblings, as

6:24

we like to say. And

6:26

I think this started around November,

6:29

and it kind of culminated

6:32

with Dakota Johnson's hosting of Saturday

6:34

Night Live, in which I

6:36

think the same day she hosted, she fired

6:38

her agents and moved reps. So

6:40

we were

6:43

like, why would she switch

6:45

reps when she's clearly doing really well?

6:48

Oh, something must be going

6:50

on. Probably saw this movie. And

6:53

that leads me to a huge

6:55

part of I think the reason Dakota Johnson's

6:57

in this, the reason Sidney Sweeney's in this.

7:00

Their agents did not know this was not the

7:03

MCU, which leads me

7:05

to ask the question. If

7:08

you're at that level in

7:10

Hollywood, if you're repping Dakota Johnson

7:12

and Sidney Sweeney, don't

7:15

you think you need to be familiar

7:17

with the most popular cinematic franchise and

7:20

what that is? Whether

7:22

this is a part of that, I mean that is a

7:25

huge mistake from their

7:27

teams. I mean Sidney

7:29

probably – they probably didn't even know until they were on

7:32

set and probably had shot a lot of this that

7:34

this was not connected. So

7:36

this is a bit of speculation,

7:38

but my feeling on this is

7:41

the agents definitely knew that Dakota

7:43

Johnson and Sidney Sweeney maybe did

7:46

not know, and their agents did not properly

7:48

inform them what they were. Because they wouldn't have

7:50

wanted to do it. Well,

7:53

I mean look, I don't

7:55

know what Sidney Sweeney's contract – Dakota Johnson got

7:57

paid $5 million-ish to do this

7:59

movie. Look, I if they were

8:01

not informed that this is the movie that

8:03

they are doing, then you

8:05

totally get why Dakota Johnson fires her

8:08

agent and all of these things. They

8:10

were like tagging like

8:12

MCU and there's Instagram posts and

8:15

stuff on this and it's like,

8:17

oh, no. But also, this is

8:19

not that complicated, guys, like it's stupid.

8:21

It's stupid that we have this weird.

8:23

It's fine for some rando that goes

8:25

to see five movies a year to

8:27

be not super sure of what is

8:29

and is not an MCU movie. I

8:32

don't know. Like, I don't necessarily feel like I

8:34

need my agent to I to tell me that

8:36

this is not and it does not take much

8:38

to figure this out. So anyway, all

8:41

this to say, I think that you're going to

8:43

the Sony lot and not the Disney lot is

8:45

probably the mind that might explain some

8:47

things. I anyway, but I

8:50

got the impression that the agents definitely knew that

8:52

this is this is this is the movie that

8:54

it is, that maybe the

8:57

the stars were unaware.

8:59

And and if that's the case,

9:01

definitely unaware. Yeah. So if

9:03

that's the case, look, you got to take a

9:06

little bit of that on yourself. You can also

9:08

totally see why you you might fire your agent

9:10

or move on to something else. But

9:12

also, like, you know, this

9:14

is pretty basic information at this point. Like,

9:16

it's not too much to ask, I think,

9:18

for you to know, since you are in

9:21

this industry to either know the

9:23

difference or to not care. And

9:26

so, yeah, yeah, I don't think they're

9:28

completely innocent bystanders in all this. But

9:30

that's the impression. I mean, I think

9:32

to the extent that they would

9:35

trust their agents opinion on whether they should

9:37

do it and which

9:40

leads me to ask, did they read the script?

9:43

What? Yeah, I don't know how many.

9:45

They know what are in the photo of it done. Yeah,

9:50

it's a very confusing situation.

9:53

About how this is all the

9:56

fact that this movie exists is kind of

9:58

a it's pretty amazing, honestly. Yes. It's of

10:00

a second movie in a week that's of

10:02

a different era. It's of a 2002 time. I

10:06

think that's more, I've even

10:09

more conspiracy theory on this in that I

10:11

think there were some probably some talks when

10:13

this was starting to get made about

10:17

mergers, different rights, moving over certain

10:19

ways. The Sony piece has been

10:21

fluid for 10 years now. Every

10:25

time they make one of these, it's allegedly the last one they're going

10:27

to do, and they keep

10:29

making something with Spider-Man to keep that

10:32

version of their movie studio going. I wouldn't be

10:34

surprised if there was some things promised that this

10:36

would maybe eventually be brought in to some kind

10:38

of universe. That's why they fired

10:40

the agent. I think it's more along

10:43

those lines, and then that fell through. I

10:46

don't know if someone of Dakota

10:48

Johnson's caliber is going to agents

10:50

for opinion on what to

10:52

do more than they are for negotiation power. I'm

10:56

thinking there was probably also a large back end portion

10:58

of this, and when this turned out it was going

11:01

to be a flop, it

11:03

was probably also a little peeved on

11:05

the negotiation. You're going, I. No, these

11:07

are all good points. So, certainly

11:10

a huge, huge

11:12

macro whiff, but these things,

11:16

I mean, I don't know, honestly, and I'm

11:19

not trying to be like a Johnny come lately,

11:21

like an athlete, but I think the point that

11:23

I'm trying to use is not something I've enjoyed

11:25

over, for the most part over

11:27

the last 15 years, certainly has been, but

11:30

I don't know if this is much better in 2024 if

11:32

it's even an MCU movie, just because the concept and

11:35

everything is so bad. Totally

11:37

agree. No, I have no chance. I

11:39

mean, it feels like some

11:42

of those knock off Marvel movies that

11:45

started to come out after X-Men, like

11:48

The Punisher, the original Punisher movie. I

11:50

mean, it feels like 2003. Kind

11:52

of feel, yeah. Does have that. That

11:55

woman is the closest thing to this, in my opinion.

11:57

That's the movie I felt like I was watching. I

12:01

mean it's clear to me in my opinion

12:03

that Dakota Johnson like from

12:05

frame one isn't trying and

12:08

if she is I mean we've got a

12:10

problem. It's kind of her thing

12:12

though, right? I mean I don't know. I hope

12:15

not. Well I

12:17

mean but that was the issue with the Fifty

12:19

Shades movies too, the sequels to those. Like she

12:21

just kind of is so low energy on a

12:23

lot of stuff that it's hard to tell when

12:25

she's trying or not. I think

12:27

this was a major point of

12:30

discussion in our Discord this week was sort

12:34

of the sort

12:38

of became like a

12:40

Dakota Johnson versus Hugh Grant kind of

12:42

thing where it was like

12:44

the three of us we spoke at it linked about how

12:47

much we enjoy Hugh Grant's. Not

12:50

just I don't care but actually

12:52

I actively hate doing this and

12:54

how much fun that usually is.

12:57

And then Dakota Johnson was taking a lot of flack

12:59

for kind of having similar

13:02

attitude and vibes. My

13:04

point on that was just the

13:06

difference is I feel like Hugh Grant

13:09

hates the process of certainly

13:12

of getting

13:14

out and selling his movie and

13:17

sometimes hates the process of

13:19

making his movie but I don't

13:21

feel like that bleeds into the performance in the

13:23

movie. And maybe

13:27

in the case of something like music and

13:29

lyrics maybe but generally

13:31

speaking Hugh Grant plays a

13:33

type and you're going to get that type

13:35

and he does pretty well at it depending

13:37

on where you stand on Hugh Grant. I

13:42

think the difference is Dakota Johnson it feels like

13:44

to your point Kent, it's not

13:46

just that she did not enjoy making

13:48

this movie and did not enjoy selling this

13:50

movie. That

13:53

comes through in the performance.

13:55

So that kind of like flat, unengaged.

14:00

thing that she does that can

14:02

work really well. This sort of like almost

14:04

like a curmudgeonly kind of approach to doing

14:06

a press tour or whatever. That

14:09

can work in the press tour. It's

14:12

tough to sell that in

14:14

the movie if you're bringing that same

14:17

vibe to the movie. In

14:19

fairness, I like Sydney Sweeney a lot.

14:22

I think she's terrible in this and

14:25

she's trying I think. I

14:27

don't know that Dakota Johnson was trying so I don't know.

14:31

Maybe it's a two different criticisms

14:33

but universally hot people

14:35

as shy awkward nerds. It's

14:38

terrible especially at this point

14:40

with her. I mean Tom

14:42

Holland, really? The shy

14:45

awkward nerd? Can we see short?

14:48

Yes. Literally. And

14:50

he still feels like a child. I

14:52

don't really feel like Sydney Sweeney still

14:54

feels like. She's 27. She's

14:57

playing a 16 year old at this point and

14:59

she's 20. I don't know. I mean I know

15:01

that's a long time Hollywood thing but I

15:04

don't know. We could probably set that up. I

15:06

thought the – With her especially maybe?

15:08

Just those three characters brought almost nothing

15:11

to this movie. It should

15:13

have just been Madame Web and for her

15:15

life. It's like it really didn't

15:17

go anywhere. It felt like it was setting up for something

15:19

that we're going to see at some point, some kind of

15:22

team up movie. That we're never going to see. That we're

15:24

never going to see. There's

15:26

no Spider-Woman action

15:28

between those three at any point other

15:31

than some weird

15:33

flashbacks. This is a – There's

15:35

no superheroes in this superhero movie. That's like

15:37

the number one issue right off the bat

15:39

is they're literally superheroes for a

15:42

flashback scene and the final

15:44

30 seconds of the

15:46

movie? I mean we

15:49

talked about – What? In VIP this

15:51

week we talked about when Harry met Sally. One of

15:53

the things we said was this

15:55

is a movie – Spoiler alert

15:57

that everything works. Direction, writing, performances.

16:00

cinematography. What

16:02

is the complete opposite of that is

16:04

probably this where nothing works. Direction,

16:07

acting, writing, cinematography.

16:09

This is one of the most terribly

16:12

directed movies I've seen.

16:14

I don't know who S.J. Clarkson

16:16

is but It

16:19

comes from television. She's done some

16:21

TV work. This

16:24

felt like TV. It felt like an episode of 911.

16:27

Have you ever seen that show? Very

16:30

similar to this. The

16:32

ambulances, chases. There's

16:34

this one character that's Jennifer Love Hewitt in

16:37

911 that's just in a control room

16:39

the entire time like a dispatcher. He

16:41

was next door to Ed Harris. He's

16:45

like come on over. I'll

16:48

put a key under the mat. Just let

16:50

me know you got Thursdays are all yours.

16:53

And the producer is super nice about that. Right.

16:58

Lorenzo DiBona Vintura. If

17:01

you go click on his name on

17:03

the old Rod tomatoes he

17:05

is responsible for such series as

17:07

GI Joe retaliation,

17:11

doom annihilation. Remember

17:14

this one? Remember

17:16

last year's Meg 2 the trench?

17:19

Transformers Rise of the Beast? It's

17:23

like nine out of ten movies are rotten

17:26

that he's done and not just like rotten like

17:29

extremely rotten like 10%, 11%, 17%. So the track records there all

17:31

the warding

17:37

signs were there. For

17:39

some reason these guys that wrote Morbius keep

17:41

getting work like they just signed those guys

17:43

up again to write this movie. I don't

17:45

know just what are they excited about doing

17:47

this over and over again. It's

17:50

unbelievable. It's incredible if this

17:52

didn't work. I mean who

17:54

could have seen that? You

17:56

know. That is that's seriously that

17:58

I mean this is this is one of the

18:00

big points is like I feel

18:02

like we have to give studios a

18:06

little bit of cover,

18:08

a little bit of grace on

18:11

superhero movies over the next couple of years

18:13

because it's last year changed

18:15

everything and it's going to take a little bit

18:17

of time for them to number one

18:20

figure out what to move to next but also it's

18:22

just like we've already got all these movies in production

18:24

we can't just stop all of

18:26

them. You're going to have to have some

18:29

grace on this movie

18:31

did very, very poorly at the box

18:33

office. You have to

18:35

say we green with this when even

18:38

the bad ones are making 300 million.

18:40

Exactly, exactly. When Venom can make 800

18:42

million dollars you can understand why

18:44

some of these movies get made. Still extending

18:46

the grace to them on

18:49

to Sony on this one. There's

18:51

not one redeeming part of this movie and

18:53

there was never going to be a movie.

18:55

The only thing is that it's Spider-Man. That's

18:57

the only thing that I think they can

18:59

say well even a bad

19:01

Spider-Man movie will make 400 million dollars

19:04

because Spider-Man is just

19:06

you print money when Spider-Man

19:09

property and I can see

19:11

that. You might want to make kids like it

19:13

then because kids love Spider-Man. Right,

19:15

right. But the fact that

19:18

like how is this going to tie in

19:20

because this doesn't obviously tie into anything. It's

19:23

not like they're… It doesn't. I

19:25

mean it's yes. It's too stand

19:27

alone for the Spider-Man fan that

19:30

loves Tom Holland's Spider-Man or loves

19:32

Spider-Verse or even loved the

19:34

last Sony ones to see this trailer and be

19:36

like oh okay yeah I got you.

19:38

I see what they're doing here. You know it's

19:40

just too honestly obviously

19:43

money grabby like oh

19:45

they're just making another Spider-Man. Sure. Nothing

19:47

to do with anything? Okay. Right,

19:50

right. It almost reminds

19:52

you of like those it's

19:55

not even like the remember

19:58

when they made like a Captain America movie. movie

20:00

for 80 grand or whatever just to retain the

20:02

rights in like the late 80s, early 90s. That's

20:05

almost what it feels like except on an $80 million

20:07

budget. It's

20:11

made so – I can't even call

20:13

it cynically. It's just incompetence. It's just

20:16

incredible incompetence from top to bottom on

20:18

this. It's like a really dumb people

20:21

are cynical. Yeah, totally. I

20:23

mean they're just – because you're right,

20:25

money grab is not the wrong term.

20:27

It's just – They did it because

20:29

they could. It's the humblest money grab of all time.

20:33

There was no world in which this

20:35

could be successful. The only positive that

20:37

I can give it is that they

20:39

only spent $80 million making it because

20:42

you just assume with a movie like this, the floor is

20:44

$150 million at this point having been

20:48

greenlit in a different era. We're

20:51

going to do a money grab. We

20:53

are going to rob this place and

20:55

walking by – we won a billion

20:57

dollars and walking by the Swiss bank

20:59

and then robbing the Arby's. You

21:03

go, yeah, that was technically a money grab but that

21:05

was a really dumb money grab. That Arby's is not

21:07

going to have a billion dollars in it. The

21:10

vault was open in the bank too. It was

21:12

weird. I don't – Right. That

21:15

was stupid, man. That was stupid. I mean we

21:17

mentioned – Other than that, I liked it. I

21:21

mentioned Dakota mailing it in. I think

21:23

Sydney definitely mails it in but Emma

21:25

Roberts. I mean she does

21:27

not give one ounce of effort I don't

21:30

think in this movie. It was almost like

21:32

clapping. I was like, wow, this is impressively

21:34

mailing it in. It was amazing. Yeah. Did

21:37

the baby shower scene you know what I'm talking

21:39

about? Oh, it's bad. Why do we

21:41

– Uncle Ben, have you

21:43

ever been shot in Queens? What are we doing?

21:45

That one was rough. That's what I'm

21:47

saying. Read this – did they not read the script? Any

21:49

normal person could have read this and be like, no, this

21:52

is not – I like

21:54

to see this today. You guys didn't see it on

21:56

IMAX like I did though. That's

21:58

true. It's my new baby. I would

22:00

see all these kind of movies. I like this. I

22:02

like it I went to see it today and there

22:04

were three other people in my theater and no one

22:06

was near me So I live tweeted it in our

22:08

in our discord and I

22:10

think I made note of like five different

22:13

lines of dialogue that were The

22:15

worst line of dialogue of the last

22:17

decade and there was like ten of

22:20

them I mean it was so so

22:22

so bad. So yes, how

22:24

does this scene get through? How does that line get

22:26

through there was? One where

22:28

she was like he I don't know if he's

22:30

in Shanghai or Mumbai or Shanghai Like how how

22:32

do we get that through the my favorite line?

22:34

I wrote down Brian. Oh bad was towards

22:39

the end spoilers coming up where

22:42

Cassandra can see the future

22:45

Cassie can see the future Yeah,

22:47

she says to her new friends your

22:50

futures were almost so different. You're

22:52

lucky. I saw them The

22:58

entire Execution of

23:00

the idea of she can see events before

23:03

they happen was so shottyly done

23:06

And I talk about bad direction In

23:08

aggressively and we done like done where

23:11

you don't know if it's happening now

23:13

or in the future or in the

23:15

past You don't know because the way

23:17

it's edited So it's like am I

23:19

seeing something now or am I seeing

23:21

something? Yeah, I was constantly Confused

23:24

on what whether what I was seeing was

23:26

actually happening or if this is a flashback

23:28

or flash forward It was

23:31

so bad. It was so confusing and

23:33

it was edited to almost be like a

23:35

jump-scare, too Yes, and so like

23:37

that was definitely a choice But

23:41

not the choice that I would make because it just

23:43

I just felt like I was being assaulted every time

23:46

She did a flashback or flash for whatever you want

23:48

to call it. It was it was just like jarring

23:51

my brain in an Was

23:55

not enjoyable. It's just an aggressively unenjoyable

23:57

movie from a look

24:00

in sound level which like

24:03

how and why? How

24:06

did this happen? This

24:09

is where we decided to make our kind

24:11

of director's trademark choices like oh my gosh.

24:13

You hire a TV director and that's rough.

24:16

It's kind of what you sign up

24:19

for. So I mean the first

24:21

scene with the mother nine

24:23

months pregnant mind you searching

24:25

for. In the Amazon?

24:28

Yeah, with no kind of

24:30

jacket, kind of protective

24:32

bee suit, anything going on

24:34

there. That's definitely smart. We

24:36

open with that. That's

24:40

the trailer scene. But the line's not in it.

24:42

The line would look crazy viral. She

24:44

says it's about half of it at one point.

24:47

And I was like I did the Leo.

24:49

Oh, there. Okay. Yeah,

24:51

that's when it turned. I think when that trailer came out

24:53

in that line, that's where it was like, oh, this is

24:55

going to be I just thought it would be a come

24:57

and go movie. Before that, once

24:59

the trailer came out, was that like six weeks ago, two

25:01

months ago, it was like, oh, this is going to be

25:03

this is cats. It's

25:06

getting tarred, but in the wrong. Yeah, in

25:08

the wrong way. Yeah. Yeah.

25:11

We have that play out. Tar should

25:13

be in Spider-Man. Do

25:15

that at least. We're

25:18

not four minutes into the movie

25:20

and the spider natives come down.

25:22

I don't know what I was. I

25:25

stood up and I considered walking down the aisle.

25:29

But I said no. This is

25:31

for the man fam sat down. So I'm going

25:33

to ask you guys, what do you prefer? Spider

25:37

natives or natives named

25:39

Spider? Well,

25:44

at one point, I'm

25:46

trying to find it high because I made a

25:48

note of it. At one point,

25:50

she is going through her mother's

25:53

belongings. And she talks

25:56

to herself a lot, which is always the mark

25:58

of a good movie. Good. Good

26:00

screenwriting when people talk out loud

26:02

themselves. When people speak out loud

26:04

to number one themselves, number

26:06

two, the cat. Yeah, you gotta have a cat. Number

26:09

three, for

26:12

some reason she's watching A Christmas Carol

26:14

on a 1978 Zenith. Well,

26:18

it's 2003, Brian. Brian. That's what we

26:20

had there. You don't remember 2003? Oh,

26:22

we only watched 70 Zenith. The

26:25

other time when the bird flies into

26:27

her apartment, she starts talking to the

26:29

bird. It doesn't change anything. Yeah,

26:33

but when she's flipping through all of

26:35

her mother's stuff, talking to either herself

26:37

or the cat or both. The

26:40

screenwriting thing of show, don't tell, and if you

26:43

tell, don't have them do it to itself. That

26:45

would be when I teach my screenwriting class. That'd

26:47

be pretty easy, I feel like, but she says,

26:49

ah, there it is,

26:52

spider people. Yeah. She's

26:54

looking through like her mom's rolodex. Ah,

26:57

spider people. When she's like, I'm gonna go

27:00

trace her steps back, and then they just

27:02

cut to her immediately at the tree, the

27:04

exact tree. That was easy.

27:07

Hasn't changed in 32 years. She

27:10

told me exactly where it was. Incredibly

27:13

detailed instructions she left. So

27:17

stupid. The spider

27:19

natives were, I mean, all

27:22

the spider villain type

27:24

stuff, to me, Brian,

27:26

it was the putties from Power Rangers. Was

27:29

it not? Well, they wrote the freaking Power

27:31

Rangers movie, so I guess that makes sense.

27:33

The way they moved, the way they were

27:35

attacking, it was the putties from the first

27:37

Power Rangers movie. Awful,

27:40

man, that's just awful. I don't, gosh.

27:42

I loved it. Needle

27:49

drops were rough, too. I

27:52

think we're alone now. That was the one where I

27:54

was like, okay, my eyes may never recover from this

27:57

eye rolling here. This may be stuck for

27:59

life. Pretty brutal remember when

28:01

a nice Five minute

28:03

pointer scene of her teaching them how

28:05

to do CPR in the

28:07

middle of it for a freaking superhero memory

28:09

That's definitely that's useful That's

28:12

what I mean. That's the one thing missing

28:14

from Avengers in-game. I agree. We said yeah

28:19

That Hawkeye didn't stop prop

28:21

the head back appropriate

28:24

paramedic Yeah,

28:26

when someone's having a seizure, yeah make

28:29

sure they don't bite their tongue yeah,

28:31

just you know when she's

28:35

With her paramedic buddy O'Neill and

28:37

she Pictures his death, but

28:39

doesn't warn him and then he drives off gets

28:42

hit by a semi and then

28:45

he's just immediately dead Just

28:48

like so dead She walks up to the

28:50

car. He's that opens the door that walks

28:52

up to her. He's like no no he's

28:55

gone Nothing you could do nothing you could

28:59

Be boned that big a deal Not

29:02

like you drove off a cliff. I

29:04

mean ambulances are pretty resilient just by

29:06

nature immediately. He's gone. There's nothing you

29:08

got We

29:11

can't say yeah, he has a broken

29:13

collarbone Just let him bleed out. He

29:15

just pulled out a gun. I even He's

29:18

gone completely You

29:24

don't even see that in a in

29:26

a 911 episode like that living competent

29:28

oh My

29:31

god Put

29:33

him down no there's no kabak his

29:36

clavicles lightly fractured

29:38

Okay, actually no I

29:44

Loved uncle Ben driving to

29:46

the hospital and breaking every conceivable traffic

29:48

law to Don't

29:52

worry she's pregnant. It's okay

29:57

So we really have to go BIRF,

30:00

Peter Parker, like are we really done with

30:02

this now? I guess

30:04

so. Hi.

30:07

Why, why do we have time to see?

30:10

There's a big fight in

30:12

a fireworks factory that is like

30:14

the dumbest. If

30:16

I hadn't seen Argyle last week, that

30:18

would have been the dumbest action scene

30:21

I've seen in a very long time.

30:23

But fortunately, Argyle. Smoke dance. Do

30:25

you think we named our show Mad

30:27

About Movies, Madam Web, saw

30:29

into our future and saw the last two

30:31

weeks? Madam

30:33

Web of that movies. Just permanently changed

30:35

the name. It took me about half the movie for

30:37

me to realize that her last name was Web. And

30:40

then I was just like, oh god. Just

30:42

throw your Diet Coke on the person in front of you. Just

30:45

great. So

30:49

stupid. So stupid for no

30:51

reason. For absolutely

30:53

no reason. Ugh, man. Incredible

30:56

amount of file scenes in this.

30:58

I mentioned that. Over the charts.

31:01

The whole movie is a pointer

31:03

scene. The whole movie. It's

31:07

offensive. We

31:09

haven't even talked about Tahar

31:12

Rahim. Dakota

31:14

Johnson is an F minus minus minus

31:16

in this to me. Sidney Sweeney is

31:18

somehow even worse. This guy

31:20

just like, just blowing

31:22

them both out of the park with how awful

31:25

he is. And I've seen

31:27

him be, he was getting the more retaining. He was good

31:29

in that. He was

31:31

at least non offensive in Napoleon like

31:34

two months ago. This is the worst

31:38

villain I've ever seen in a superhero

31:40

movie, I think. It's so, all

31:43

of his lines felt like they were read in

31:45

ADR but like using

31:48

a microphone from the 70s in a

31:50

bathroom or something. It was so, so bad.

31:54

And he kept changing the accent a little bit. It

31:56

reminded me of like, I'm watching Curb

31:58

right now. It reminded me of the 90s. of the

32:00

Sofia Maria character from last season.

32:02

Maria Sofia, I can't remember, from

32:05

last season just like trying out

32:07

different different accents and dialogues

32:09

at the table read inside. It

32:11

was that's the

32:13

worst part of the movie and there are a

32:15

lot of terrible parts of this movie. I

32:18

was kind of blown away by

32:20

how terrible he was. For

32:22

it all to end in this action sequence

32:24

that was awful and

32:27

then I don't

32:29

know. Look, I was so checked out by this

32:31

point but there was no explainer on why she's

32:33

blind and in a wheelchair, was there? Like she

32:35

just... I think she kind of

32:37

blows her power down at the end, right? Okay.

32:40

She got offended by her. Adam's

32:43

got gouged her eyes out. He

32:46

shot her right in the spine. Nope,

32:49

can't do anything about this. She's

32:52

not even weighing down. That is pretty...

32:54

Is she going to be like the

32:56

Professor X to Sidney Swain? I mean,

32:59

it felt like the whole point of

33:01

it was just to create the great

33:03

value X-Man. Great

33:07

value has some fine products. Wow,

33:10

that is so true and I mean, this

33:14

has made 50 million dollars so far. Is there

33:16

any chance this makes money? They

33:20

had to have spent so much on ads

33:22

on this and for it

33:24

to get beat by the Bob Marley

33:26

movie and not close to... Well, they

33:28

spent more money on ads.

33:30

The Bob Marley movie, I've never seen a

33:33

movie advertising that.

33:35

I'm not joking. I think before COVID

33:37

actually. So yeah, that's true. But

33:40

yeah, that's... I feel like jamming too. This

33:43

movie cannot get doubled up basically at

33:46

the box office by the Bob Marley

33:48

movie. That can't happen. So this

33:51

whole movie is an exercise in pointing

33:53

to the sequel that

33:55

is not going to happen because of

33:57

how terrible it is. It's... I didn't...

34:00

That's the most confusing. How does that go

34:02

on your resume and you keep getting jobs?

34:04

How? Of all the

34:06

confusing things in this, I was most

34:08

confused about why they said it in 2003. It

34:11

made no sense to me. You

34:13

know that added $5 to $8 million to the budget. The

34:17

only reference to it is like they show

34:19

a Beyonce billboard at some point and there's

34:21

some $2000. The Missy Elliott poster

34:24

somewhere. And Neil drops the $2000. I don't

34:26

understand that. And

34:29

so here you know at

34:31

some point Pepsi came forward and was like

34:33

hey, we got you for $20 million of this.

34:36

Throw some Pepsi in this

34:38

bad boy. They're like got it. Cool. Yep, no

34:40

problem. We got you Pepsi. So they

34:42

threw Pepsi and I mean that's

34:45

got to be from the Lorenzo

34:47

DiBona Ventura School of Get

34:50

Bud Light to Pay for Transformers method.

34:54

But I mean this thing is full of Pepsi and

34:57

the Pepsi cans they use were not introduced

34:59

until like 2009. So

35:03

this really sets it right home because they had

35:05

not have gotten 2003 Pepsi cans. That's

35:08

all I'm saying. If we're this committed, do it.

35:11

I love this quote from an

35:13

industry insider. It says we're not going to

35:15

see another Madam Web Movie for another decade

35:17

plus. It failed. Sony

35:19

tried to make a movie

35:21

that was a different type of superhero movie. Sony

35:24

supposedly plans to rework the entire franchise depending on the

35:26

success of Craven the Hunter. But like I love that

35:29

they're like maybe in 14 years

35:31

we'll come back to this.

35:34

The same cast will be ready for it again.

35:36

Well, I think that's a good place to end

35:38

before we hit grades is I think

35:40

Hollywood Reporter or somebody did a big

35:42

story about this. And they

35:45

pulled a bunch of people, podcasts,

35:47

critics, things like that. And

35:50

they said the consensus was that this

35:52

failed because it was

35:54

a female-led superhero movie. And I

35:57

don't think that's the case at all. I

36:00

think if it was funny and good,

36:03

then it would have made money. I think it's

36:05

really that. Wonder Woman did okay, I think. Wonder

36:07

Woman made some money. Yeah, it was good. It's

36:09

the money. It's big sequel. I

36:12

think that's not the problem at all. No,

36:15

it's that even the general public could

36:17

smell more pink around us. Morbius

36:19

did horribly too. I mean... Yes.

36:22

Yeah, it's hard. Anyone who is saying that is

36:25

like, okay, we don't want you to come to

36:27

the movie anyway. You know what I mean? Okay,

36:30

you're the worst kind of people. There's

36:33

no way that it got skewed that

36:35

hard by... I think that's

36:37

the wrong lesson for Hollywood to take. Like

36:39

if executives read that article and they say,

36:41

oh, well, I told you. I

36:45

think that's the wrong lesson. The lesson should be don't

36:48

hire Morbius guys again after they

36:50

make terrible movies. Don't hire

36:52

inexperienced directors to do this. Don't hire

36:54

a producer that has

36:56

a horrible track record to put

36:58

this thing together. Well,

37:01

you just... This isn't a movie. This

37:03

isn't a movie. This is not a character that was... Don't

37:05

do things just because you can. Yes. Gosh,

37:07

it's just not a movie. Not a character that

37:10

is begging to be made into a movie. There's

37:16

lots of comic book characters that can just

37:18

stay on the page. They could not. They

37:21

just weren't satisfied man. They couldn't. I'm satisfied

37:23

with just having Spider-Verse be

37:25

awesome. You know? They're

37:27

like, man, we can hit a little Y back in the chin here

37:30

too. It's all Tony Baskin right now, right? Sony's got

37:32

like nothing else right now. Yeah, right.

37:34

Sony's in a bad spot, but it

37:36

doesn't help when you keep

37:38

just cranking out and covering each other. They have

37:40

a bunch of bad producers there. Some could even

37:42

call them. Hold on, sunglasses on. Sony

37:44

Hacks. Take that, Amy

37:47

Baskin. I like that

37:49

a lot. Well,

37:53

yeah. I think

37:55

the lesson to learn here is

37:58

make good movies. And

38:01

then they'll make money at the end. Can

38:04

we get like a consultant gig

38:06

to just say that, just walk

38:08

into a room and be like, just make good

38:10

movies. That's it. Hunter

38:12

Grand, thank you. Because

38:14

apparently they need to hear it. Apparently that needs to

38:16

be said. How concerning

38:19

is it that like this has eight

38:21

writers on it and none of them

38:24

said, guys, this is terrible. Let's

38:26

just not do that. They did, but they are

38:29

getting paid. They also got

38:31

a little bit of money. Yeah,

38:34

you're right. They got the gig. I don't

38:36

know. I feel like I could write

38:38

a screenplay better than this in a week.

38:42

I mean, I'm serious. While

38:44

watching it, I text you all

38:46

I can't remember. I was like, actually, I'm

38:48

on the side of the studios now in

38:50

the writer's strike. AI

38:54

should replace these people. AI

38:57

would have done a better job. No bad, man. Even

39:00

AI would be like, no, a pregnant woman would never do

39:02

that. No, it's just

39:04

like that scene. Look, again, I'm

39:07

a big Sydney Sweeney fan. I'm not

39:09

really a Dakota Johnson fan. You just

39:11

are. I thought she was

39:13

much worse than Dakota Johnson was. The

39:16

worst scene in the movie was

39:18

Cassie talking to her mom via

39:22

the spider people or whatever in

39:25

the past. Oh,

39:27

you went to the Amazon for me. That was

39:29

the worst scene in the movie. This is where

39:31

you were born. That was the worst for me

39:33

was where the dude was back there with her

39:35

and he was like, by the way,

39:37

I killed your mom. Yeah, we knew that. You're

39:40

really evil. We get it. Was

39:43

he invisible to everybody

39:45

else? He's like

39:47

crawling on the wall right above human beings and

39:49

they just don't – they didn't even see him.

39:51

Yeah, I don't think he's invisible. Okay,

39:55

well, that makes sense. I think he was just on

39:57

the ceiling, man. He couldn't see him up there. The

40:01

scene where Dakota Johnson tries to climb

40:04

the wall and falls down. What

40:06

are we doing here? It's

40:10

so bad. We do have... So

40:13

here's Columbia Pictures, AKA Sony's

40:15

movies upcoming in 2024. You

40:18

guys want to hear a couple? Yes.

40:21

We got the new Ghostbusters,

40:24

new Garfield movie, Bad

40:27

Boys 4. Which

40:31

might get delayed because of strike, so we'll hold on

40:33

to that. God willing.

40:36

Project Artemis. Harold

40:39

and the Purple Crown. Craven

40:42

the Hunter. Venom

40:44

3. And

40:47

an untitled karate kid film. That's

40:50

needed. So, you

40:53

know. They've got cool properties

40:55

coming to them. They've got a Metal Gear

40:57

Solid movie coming out. That's going

41:00

to be great. Spider-Women is

41:02

in production. I think that's been cancelled.

41:07

And an untitled Olivia Wilde

41:09

film project. That is

41:11

in this... It's a co-production

41:13

with Marvel, so oh boy. Oh

41:16

no. Wow,

41:20

that does not sound great. What's Project

41:22

Artemis? That

41:24

is a Andy Weir. That's right.

41:28

He's the guy who wrote The Martian. And

41:30

I believe... It's one of God's,

41:32

I think Lord & Miller. I think Lord &

41:34

Miller, yeah. They might

41:36

just be producing it though. I can't remember if they're

41:38

actually directing, but they're involved. Cool.

41:42

Great book, by the way. It's a really good book.

41:44

I'm glad it has potential then. But

41:46

Good Grief, yeah. I feel like they're

41:49

desperate for some new IP. They

41:53

really need a Barbie. Kind of just come

41:55

out of nowhere and

41:58

do well for them. But no. Seem

42:00

to be happening anytime soon. What's it a

42:02

grade here for Madame web? Kent

42:04

Garrison f minus minus minus Brian.

42:06

What about you? I

42:08

don't know that we've ever in the history of the

42:11

show had back-to-back weeks where We've

42:13

gone f minus minus minus. I mean I

42:18

Me jokingly said our God maybe the worst movie I've ever

42:20

seen in my life and then and then

42:23

this happened Yeah, where

42:25

does this rain with our God with you? That

42:28

can our guys longer They're

42:32

they're they're terrible in completely different

42:34

ways. It's just I

42:37

think our guys are more misguided than clever

42:41

Hey, our guys thinks it's way better

42:43

than this though Yes,

42:45

I I agree I think one of

42:47

our girls major issues is how clever

42:50

it thinks that you know, and how

42:52

clever Matthew Matthew Vaughn shot that smoke

42:54

dance He's like this is gonna be

42:56

shown in my academy award reels right

42:59

for my career This is

43:01

going to be taught in film school for the rest

43:03

of time So

43:05

that's different than this because there's negative

43:09

ambition in this

43:11

movie, I Don't

43:13

know. I'm gonna have to hold I'm gonna have to think

43:15

about that for literally the rest of

43:17

the year because I

43:20

just There can't be a

43:22

worse movie than these two movies there can't I

43:24

can't do it. I can't do it. So I I'll

43:28

hold out right now. I put this slightly

43:30

behind our guile, but our guy lives longer

43:32

and has Smugness

43:35

to it that I hate so that

43:37

right that may play a factor

43:40

later in the air. Sorry f minus minus minus

43:42

Yeah, horrific movie and

43:44

Richard Like I told you

43:46

guys We put our

43:48

dog of 15 years down this weekend and

43:50

in this movie was the low light so

43:54

I'm gonna go f minus minus minus as well. I

43:57

can you please make that your rotten tomatoes? Just

44:00

so the people that made this you

44:02

know the review that Richard had I'll get around the

44:04

blue Then that has to

44:06

like this guy All

44:09

those way he put his dog down

44:11

and this was worse than that That

44:13

says the she's the real all of

44:15

them was the real female superhero, but

44:17

she rested That

44:19

is an all-timer line from Richard.

44:22

Love it. All right before we get out

44:24

of here. Let's hit a quick weekly I've

44:27

got a book I finished over the weekend. It's in

44:29

the film We

44:33

talked about a little bit some movie books that we're

44:35

all Brian. I know trying to read it's It's

44:38

a path to paradise by Sam. Wesson He's

44:42

written he wrote the the big goodbye book

44:45

that I loved About

44:48

Chinatown and all of that and this one's about Apocalypse

44:51

now and the making of that and really the whole

44:53

thing is about the world And

44:56

really the whole copula All

44:59

the way up through there's some some kind of

45:01

hints around what we're in for with

45:03

his new film this year So it's kind of that hole

45:06

it puts you in the setting It's

45:08

kind of written in in real time of the

45:10

making of Apocalypse now and the kind of break

45:13

You know the purposeful breakdown that he put himself

45:15

through to make that and

45:17

the in the And all

45:19

that so yeah, really really really

45:21

cool book really well researched Like

45:24

the energy in which it's written it

45:26

feels really it puts it just drops you in right away

45:29

now, I'm like the film and Is

45:32

kind of maniacal and crazy at all the all

45:34

the 70s film history that you could ever want?

45:36

So he's he's becoming one

45:38

of my favorite Kind

45:40

of film historians. I really like

45:42

his his writing style. So so yeah

45:44

highly recommend I

45:46

recommend by Sam Wesson the path

45:48

to paradise France Francis Ford Coppola

45:51

story I

45:54

Just finished I Just

45:58

finished the Chinatown book yesterday. Oh nice That

46:00

great. It's very good. Yeah, it's very very

46:03

good great decent movie to do some movie

46:05

could be could be Nicholson

46:08

guy might have something is there a good Nicholson biography.

46:10

I need to get I need to read that That's

46:12

a good question on the Nicholson book If

46:14

you got recommends, let me know I want to my

46:17

favorite actor ever. I'm very very interested in

46:19

in 6070s

46:22

Nicholson, especially just like his whole

46:25

there is one of the fears baby. Hold on. I'll

46:27

find outside you some links. Okay, cool My

46:31

recommend this week is gonna be

46:33

I Watch

46:36

so x-men 97 finally has a a

46:38

release date. It's it's like March 20th,

46:40

I think And

46:43

so I started watching the

46:45

original x-men series

46:47

the the cartoon with With

46:51

coop because this was that was like my

46:53

I mean I freaking loved loved the x-men

46:56

The show is so good and it's been a

46:58

really long time since I've watched it So we

47:00

watched two three episodes together this weekend Also

47:03

got through some of the terrible x-men movies

47:05

with him Which has been

47:08

rough. He's he loves the exit. He's experiencing

47:10

what we have all experienced It's man

47:13

the x-men are awesome. Why are these movies so bad?

47:17

He watched we watched days of future

47:19

past this weekend which he loved and that's to

47:21

me that that's probably the best one but

47:24

then we followed it up with the two

47:26

Wolverine movies and Apocalypse

47:29

and he's just like man. I really want

47:31

to like this and he just yeah, it's

47:33

terrible so anyway, we watched first few episodes

47:35

of the the series of the the the

47:37

cartoon and and it's it's

47:40

as it's it's as good and as 90s as

47:42

I as I remember it and that is like

47:44

a Was a

47:46

major that is a that was a major

47:48

player for me a big big time. Love

47:50

that show I'm watching Batman. The AMA series

47:52

to kind of just lay as my background

47:54

show right now And I hadn't seen that

47:56

in a really long time and it's that

47:58

could be a weekly recommend It's that's such

48:01

a great such a great show and so many

48:03

cool stuff so so many cool things that happen

48:05

In the first season of that that

48:08

show but anyway X X min is my

48:10

is my official weekly recommend this week So

48:12

getting ready for that text me 97 in

48:14

a month or so or two I'll

48:18

recommend this We are

48:20

the world doc. Have you guys watch this yet? No,

48:23

I haven't seen it yet very high on the list

48:25

green is night and pop is what it's called Really

48:29

good you guys will dig it Definitely

48:31

check that out One

48:33

thing that I didn't know about that story

48:35

I mean obviously knew the song

48:38

have the record whatever but did

48:40

not know that they did it after an award

48:42

show and The

48:44

state of like 7 a.m. It was like

48:46

I guess after the American Music Awards or

48:48

something I Just

48:50

figured oh, yeah They called everybody and everybody came to

48:52

the studio, but they had to do it while everybody

48:54

was in town for this award show And

48:57

they didn't know who was gonna show up and

48:59

it's really good So check it out a lot

49:01

of cool footage sweet from that and Quincy Jones.

49:03

I mean the man. Yep freakin

49:06

man Love that and

49:08

why don't Richie low-key American treasure? candidate

49:12

Shout out why don't Richie very nice. All

49:15

right, that's the weekly

49:17

recommends and madam web talk But

49:19

check out that episode we've got on when

49:21

Harry met Sally as we wrap up rom-com

49:24

month here in the

49:26

man VIP after here Yeah,

49:42

maybe but I got you pay But

49:47

I don't know what to do with those off And

49:56

Grammar they go over my face They're

50:01

making the eye guy, the

50:03

family's in trouble They're

50:08

calling again