0:01

Hey everybody

0:09

it's me Kathleen Madigan welcome to Madigan's

0:11

Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink full

0:14

of the bar stool. Let's

0:16

talk about what's been going on. Tomatoes!

0:23

Welcome. Welcome.

0:28

We're going to talk about seeing Stevie in New Orleans in

0:30

a little bit. But if she says welcome she's still out

0:32

on the road. She's never stopping the road. She's going to

0:34

die on the road. That's it. She's already said that. That's

0:37

her promise to you. And as

0:39

she gets older she gets chattier and I love it.

0:41

The stories go on forever. She's

0:43

getting a little cuckoo. I think

0:45

some of the band people are like oh no she's

0:47

going to tell that one. We'll

0:50

talk about that in a little bit. Episode 152. Fire. Oh 172. Sorry.

0:55

Fire. Fire. Fire.

0:58

I'm very sorry there was a podcast

1:00

last week. And let me put this right.

1:03

That came out very Midwest podcast. I know

1:05

sometimes when I'm a little sleepy. Not

1:08

taut sleepy but a little worn out. Sometimes my

1:10

A's come out a little Midwesty.

1:13

There we go. A little more Midwesty than normal.

1:15

I would say okay Stevie get on

1:17

your fucking stove.

1:21

I have to put Stevie back on her stand. Otherwise

1:23

she'll fly around the house at night and scare me. Scare

1:27

the shit out of Baby Cat. Baby

1:29

Cat doesn't like her. She doesn't like her. I

1:31

found out today Baby Cat likes soccer. What? Yeah.

1:35

I turned it on because there's going to be

1:37

golf on after that. It's an arsenal in somebody

1:39

but she's the only time she's ever paid attention

1:41

to the television. Ever. Yeah. She

1:44

was into it. So I'm very sorry

1:46

Detroit. I had to postpone those

1:48

two shows. They are now on April 13th.

1:50

There's going to be two shows on a Saturday instead of a Friday

1:52

Saturday. Sorry about that. It's

1:56

my dad again. I think I said that in

1:58

a video. I don't want to go into it because it's there. health

2:00

it's not mine they're not everybody's

2:03

still here fighting to fight

2:06

Tyson's bunched him 185 times giving up

2:08

fuck no fuck no we're not giving

2:10

up we're

2:12

going we're going as many rounds

2:15

as will be allowed the Jackalope

2:17

cheers to dad for just poo

2:19

not not not no

2:21

not doing it there's

2:26

a crazy they

2:29

took sometimes with older people in

2:31

his condition they give him a shot of adrenaline

2:34

just to get him going and get him on the right path

2:37

and stuff he talked for

2:39

11 hours straight I'm like oh

2:41

my god would you give him a whole eight ball

2:43

it didn't matter if people were there or not and

2:45

my sister's like well I'm

2:50

tired I want to go but he's still talking

2:52

I just said tell me to go get some

2:54

meat and come back tomorrow he'll talk and talk

2:56

about it when I was back yeah the one

2:58

about the Israelis what who's talking

3:00

about Israelis now I know what

3:03

happened to the union like some

3:06

words are fine and then they're

3:08

like oh my god where's your

3:10

words Becky that's my mom she's

3:13

coming yeah I appreciate all the comments

3:15

and I I swear to God there

3:17

must be a billion people between 40

3:20

and 60 do doing this

3:23

old people thing because

3:25

modern medicine like my dad probably should have died

3:27

like in mid his mid 60s of heart attacks

3:29

and stuff and then he got all the medicine and

3:31

then he got 10 well more probably

3:34

14 more good years out of

3:36

modern medicine but then I'm getting

3:38

to the point where modest and modern medicine has

3:40

kept them alive so long he has shit that

3:42

when I google it they say there's no information

3:45

he has outlived information I mean

3:47

you type in blah blah blah and it's

3:49

like sorry this doesn't usually happen we got

3:51

nothing I'm like oh my god we've

3:54

gone into the 1% well the one guy said one

3:56

in a one in a hundred

3:58

I would only blah blah blah So

4:01

I don't want to go into the details because I'll start crying or

4:03

something too, but that's not fun for anybody But cheers

4:06

to everybody out there who is dealing

4:08

with elderly parents Um, I

4:10

did say to my one friend Robert

4:13

I go I don't really think my parents had a

4:16

plan and Robert he used the same age as me

4:18

and he goes Oh our parents had a plan Kathleen.

4:20

The plan was us. I'm like, oh right, right,

4:22

right And then I

4:24

said to my mom do you have you guys ever

4:26

talked about these things like if chick gets super weird

4:28

She goes, of course we talked about these things. I

4:30

go. Well, what did he say he wanted? She goes

4:33

well, I forgot Okay, this

4:35

is what's happening when everybody's 83.

4:37

Oh, okay. You talked about important

4:39

things but fuck a fire. No, why are you looking

4:41

at me? And

4:47

then I did feel bad because there's

4:49

some neurologists involved and

4:51

there's one that's very social and He's

4:54

not afraid of people I really do

4:56

feel like some of the neurologists purposely comes super

4:58

duper duper early because they and I understand You

5:01

do not want to go in my dad's room.

5:03

If you're a doctor, there are 50 people in

5:05

there Maybe a dog and he's and

5:07

he's on a PCU unit was not

5:10

ICU. It's a heart whatever but still

5:12

we probably shouldn't have that many people I

5:14

mean, I'm sure there's a sign somewhere we all

5:16

fucking ignored and there's a thousand And so

5:18

if you're that guy and you're the neurologist and you're

5:20

kind of anti so not anti social but not socially

5:22

or Adapt

5:25

and you're gonna get a thousand questions

5:27

half won't even be relevant. I won't

5:29

say which family members are saying those

5:31

and then You know

5:33

if you just come in at 6 o'clock though before we

5:35

all get there You just get to check on him

5:37

write your notes and go I'm sure that's what they're going

5:39

for. But the one Was

5:41

so it tight Anti people like

5:43

you could tell he was just uncomfortable. He doesn't like

5:46

I get it, but I said, you know, I Can't

5:50

I'm expecting too much really I am

5:52

because I want a neurologist to also

5:54

be fun and social well flip that

5:56

you know Kathleen's really fun

5:58

in a bar. I thought why she doesn't

6:00

understand neurology. You know, you

6:02

can't have both in the same person. It's

6:05

nearly impossible. So when you do get the ones

6:07

that are the doctors and the neurologists and

6:10

all those people that are on it, it's

6:12

much, much appreciated. More

6:14

than not, they're not. And I get it, I

6:17

can't do science, so I don't know why I expect these

6:19

people to be fun socially. Because

6:22

no one left. I'm like, well, you wasn't any fun. And

6:24

my sister's like, I don't think that's the

6:26

idea. I'm like, well, I'm just saying it

6:29

would be helpful. By

6:32

the way, I'm drinking a Bloody Mary with my friend Dax's. Cheap

6:35

tricks. It's

6:38

the middle of the day. But

6:41

I need a Bloody Mary. I'm tired. And

6:44

Jackalope is wearing everyone out. Still

6:47

talking. Still talking. I

6:50

said, maybe you gave him too much

6:52

adrenaline. He's still talking. He's still talking.

6:54

And then if you

6:56

leave and come back, me and

6:58

my sister left. We came

7:00

back and he like

7:03

jumped towards us and went, shit!

7:05

Shit! And he's like, he's talking about

7:07

a crime boss now. He's like, I'm not

7:09

crying! I'm like, what is the

7:11

matter with you? Calm down. Calm

7:14

down. He got moved for bad behavior.

7:16

They moved his room. Yes? He's

7:19

acting out. He's shouting. And he's never

7:21

mean or angry. He's just like, I

7:23

would call him a alarmed. Yeah.

7:26

We're leaving! No, we're

7:28

not, Jackalope. We're leaving!

7:33

And like my sister said, it's terrible. We're

7:35

laughing. But sometimes he's very,

7:37

very funny. He

7:39

said, I talked to my mother. I go, oh no, because

7:42

she's been down a long time. I go,

7:44

what'd your mom have to say? She said she was

7:46

concerned. I said, I'm fine. Oh

7:49

my gosh. Oh, wow. And

7:51

then my sister goes, Kathleen,

7:54

I mean, he's talking to dead people. He's seeing

7:56

dead people. I go, he did that in May.

7:59

I'm not. Fallen for the Trickster. I'm

8:01

talking dead people bullshit anymore. Does

8:03

it mean I necessarily dying? I

8:05

can tell us in May he

8:08

saw his dad many dreaming. Maybe

8:10

he's making shit up anybody? That

8:12

would be. Like all we can't possibly yes

8:14

a good measure up. Said

8:16

says it's a it's a Colossal.

8:19

Of. Mass on. So.

8:22

I apologize to Detroit. I've never. I

8:24

do. I haven't cancelled in thirty five

8:26

years anything except last May the telephone

8:28

shows because of Juggle Up and then

8:30

this time. In Detroit.

8:33

Tigers let it. And. I

8:36

feel terrible that that because I know people get babysitters

8:38

they by city's some people are fly in and of

8:40

the boys dry that it and I was his eyes

8:42

I got there I flew and I was there as

8:44

their the night before I went right down and somerset

8:46

mall. Collect on all birds. And

8:48

went right into the Capital Grill.

8:50

Had are awesome dinner salad and

8:52

two glasses a great white. Yeah.

8:55

My friends were there's and see my

8:57

primary in I'll I'll handle yep there

8:59

was This can be great show the

9:01

have our own Yeah is very. Very

9:04

upsetting, but. Anyway,

9:06

so so everybody out there.

9:10

Does. The comment I got is very boring and

9:12

it when he doesn't talk. When when he

9:14

crashes is like watching a coke addict go

9:16

to sleep for three days. And

9:18

so then you're just sitting there taking her and it

9:20

says he's asleep. You know, so it's not really so

9:23

I would die. Where do all the Instagram and Facebook?

9:25

And I mean. There are crazier stories in

9:27

this to. trust me, there are stories.

9:29

I. Mean my from the has taken care of his

9:31

mom with alzheimer's and he's like well, We're.

9:34

Going to take mother out drinking and for

9:36

margarita as I mean what do we do?

9:38

What all of us this age or like,

9:40

what the fuck are we supposed to do?

9:42

What these people like? You're giving them back

9:44

to us and their cuckoo. Tell them in

9:46

the Doctor Doolittle. We got him on his way.

9:48

Good luck little soldiers that. Well

9:51

hey, whoa, there's no on.

9:55

god mm my mom to see him why would

9:57

you spend a nice here i go cause of

9:59

the dots one And she's

10:01

like, she's like, oh, are you afraid

10:03

of big baby paw paw? I said, yes, I'm terrified

10:05

of big baby paw paw. And she's

10:07

like, did you see a move? I go, what? She

10:10

goes, nothing. And walked in her room and

10:12

I took a picture of the doll that I put him

10:14

up on all the social media and everybody was sending

10:16

there. I'm keeping the creepy doll thing going. I don't

10:18

know what is going on, but here's the thing. So those,

10:21

the ones you see on my Instagram or

10:23

whatever you go on Twitter, Facebook, those

10:26

were originally for

10:29

my sister's twins who are now 15. So

10:32

they liked big baby paw paw and

10:34

little Dickie and I don't know

10:36

what the baby want his name. But

10:39

then I kept saying to my mom as time went on, I'm like,

10:41

you know, the girls aren't really interested in the

10:43

dolls. Maybe we could give these to Goodwill or

10:45

whatever. I wrote this. We

10:47

can. Yeah. you

10:51

have to keep for a year. Yeah. Make

10:53

it a spooky. I'm going to do that. I'm

10:55

stealing them. I'm going to throw up the trash

10:58

on Christmas. Somebody's got to mind the dolls for

11:00

a year. But they're

11:03

so, but then the funny

11:05

part was after the girls

11:07

turned like, I don't know, say

11:09

seven, they weren't really quite as

11:11

interested. So my parents started taking the

11:14

dolls on the road and

11:16

then they would take pictures of big baby paw paw

11:18

in different locations like casinos,

11:20

Florida. Yeah. They'd

11:22

take it to the pool at Florida. I'm like, do

11:24

you know how fucking crazy you look to other people,

11:26

mom, that you have a doll and you and dad,

11:29

she's like, they thought it

11:31

was funny. I got to admit it was

11:33

funny. Well, you're like, oh my God, big

11:35

baby paw paw, a slot machine in Florida.

11:37

Like they had, they took pictures of them in the car.

11:40

It was a very funny 10 year bit

11:42

that never ended. But now the bit is

11:44

over and I think it's time we get rid of the

11:46

doll. Some ladies sent a picture, a termites

11:49

on a picture on Twitter of a doll. The

11:51

head is white and it looks like the

11:53

limbs have gangrene or we're in a fire

11:56

or one Lady's. A

12:00

mom keeps his creepy as douse but has

12:02

a plastic bag over it so it looks

12:05

yeah, I idea it's I don't know if

12:07

it's. I don't

12:09

know what's going on with.but I will not. I

12:12

mean, I don't want to see it as a sense as as

12:14

a doll's but I'm also afraid. Of spiders and I know

12:16

there's fighters down there. I've seen him and then

12:18

she and she's not very desires are monsters. She's

12:20

like lot like gets paid at know that the

12:22

brown recluse ahmad my a model is my second

12:25

hand on not nope. So. My

12:27

other sister save with are unlikely your cc

12:29

gets a trophy of the year for that

12:31

users who who. Any

12:34

weight or myself. I'm doing

12:36

Iraq, Iran and I have a beer from this

12:38

most a Kansas City of silk as I'm I'm

12:40

fine and good city to get down to the

12:42

Ozarks. The. New terminal. Fantastic!

12:45

The Mary out by the Kansas you

12:47

travel tips, travel tips all termites s

12:49

the Marissa As a kid the city

12:51

airport is wonderful. I could live there,

12:54

I could totally get an apartment a

12:56

ruse are updated every the bars because

12:58

everything's great. Also. Traveled Tip:

13:01

There's. A brand new hilt middle but at the

13:03

national airports have you ever fly in the national?

13:05

Nothing is. Downtown. Is very close

13:07

to the airport like on my Kansas City. Where

13:09

you got a good thirty forty minute.

13:12

Farm drives to like this. It's a

13:14

true thirty five minute drive because there's

13:16

no traffic. Out there is his cows.

13:18

And then you start to get its nationals gonna

13:21

close. I'm not sure why you would stay

13:23

at the airport. But.

13:25

It has a rooftop bar that open

13:27

aired yet it's a It's wonderful to

13:29

have you ever need a hotel is

13:31

only once. It's. The only

13:33

one that and when i say. Connected.

13:37

Huge. It's like only Detroit the west and you get your

13:39

own. Security you're attached to

13:41

Marry. Us not attached in

13:43

Kansas City but it's wonderful and

13:45

very close and they have settled

13:48

on. This is called Third Wheel Brewing.

13:50

It's Kids City Save. Oh no, it's a

13:52

Peter's. That are a lot of my

13:54

cousins of on it's a funky can tear

13:56

up charlie. It's like the Willie Wonka

13:58

thing. They cannot. Yeah, Yeah. But

14:00

it's delicious. So tears on. That I'm

14:03

a Little Guys Potato Chips which is the

14:05

official. Zachary, Kansas City Chiefs are more it's

14:07

hop was something about the chiefs when that

14:09

and it's lot of sent over for a

14:11

couple weeks but I. Said it was gonna

14:13

happen. Said.

14:19

Shout to do a barbecue

14:21

in Kansas City, Kansas. Why

14:24

I got our that rides a lot but

14:27

I wanted Jos their ribs. Are. At

14:30

as another good as you to violent

14:32

diversity. Oh I know,

14:34

like these are all times that lizard

14:36

cerebral what the hell are they. Don't.

14:41

They're. Sale. From.

14:44

Now. On well. as

14:47

the most s that thing if

14:49

they were it was sale as

14:51

all get out. Loud

14:54

Me. Sad. Elders.

14:58

No. I'm

15:02

not of the. South

15:04

I'm not eager to teach person

15:06

or more. Try some Helmand Gourley.

15:08

Click on a only spread. Now.

15:11

As a mid westerner, Helmand did not

15:13

come into my belly what very often.

15:15

And then I found out it's a

15:18

Canadian product. It. Does it says

15:20

west of the Rockies like? I don't really think I'd

15:22

heard of this till I was. An adult know?

15:24

mom. Our family went Miracle Whip. I

15:26

mean, I didn't even know Miracle Whip

15:28

was a manager. We've discussed that. On

15:32

whoa I can smell the garlic samir.

15:35

It's a dip and spread to.

15:40

Know I don't like garlic.

15:43

Or. A Moon on. Oh my

15:45

God. If you like garlic

15:48

I guess this is Bob

15:50

A Hot Vinegar Barbecue sauce.

15:52

Vinegars my favorite. From

15:54

Jos I don't know about hot. will see.

15:57

The. Ribs and Jos not usually rude

15:59

person. But that number of through

16:01

the best know it's the. One Travis, his

16:03

mama goes to Sands in mind. Like

16:06

everybody else, because it's a gas station, is

16:08

truly a gas station where you're going to

16:10

eat. But they have a bar of yeah

16:13

you can get beers and stuff. Oh. Wow.

16:20

I would make sense half and half. I

16:24

don't a law that hot yell.

16:27

He. Up a plus up where

16:30

to go jobs? Yeah. I'll

16:36

bring you back some I have to go then tomorrow. They'll.

16:41

Yeah I'm sitting that some ply

16:43

came came back. In

16:46

between, I'm still soliloquy used

16:48

by Jack. Does

16:50

that? I'm a baby. Had the hate me. For their as My

16:52

Life. Now

16:55

I'm. Really mad at me?

17:00

I'm. Sorry eating drinking.

17:02

I got that stuff on the way for me. Get

17:04

this off the desk. As.

17:07

We can a. Kid

17:10

that outta here was. And

17:13

to proceed it's own took

17:16

a. That's what

17:18

we got on that eating drinking. Good

17:20

to go. And

17:23

pay. The slowly get into

17:25

clean it is less that mclean see the

17:28

a new oil and see how at first

17:30

of all am I love New Orleans and

17:32

I went. Carousel bar is always go

17:34

there. It's an actual carousel and the bar

17:36

most in a tiny slow circle. It's

17:38

not like Sas was going to make

17:40

you bombers for your drugs is one

17:42

of my friends goes one room with

17:44

your drink spillover. Unlike it's only a

17:46

sissy miles an hour of like a

17:48

cell are getting and tongue twister at

17:50

Six Flags in the for fallout you

17:52

stick to a waltz it some it

17:54

says of it that's the fancier one

17:56

and Live Feeds is the oldest blacks this

17:58

shot bar. Went there. In Hudson i

18:00

said that oceania delays as and i

18:02

got in over over to the Smoothie

18:04

King center was Cb was bezel I'm

18:07

a nice and because we're in New

18:09

Orleans a down of which is many

18:11

people wage as lazy the help us

18:13

where they were allow the hashtag sales

18:15

but there were. Several

18:19

lakes all man every individual thing you

18:21

have all made sense but all together

18:23

try my I add on my Cv

18:26

advantage of had found masks. Ah New

18:28

York at I'm They have you ever?

18:30

Stevie is a great show! Who's to?

18:32

Plus hours. Vanessa. Carlton was

18:34

opener this time. She's fine. Marvelous

18:36

Omnium. Will make

18:38

a militant and then and in it's

18:41

an island Law. Suit.

18:44

Good and or seduce X is is a plus.

18:47

Are you there's? like the city's every song ever

18:49

want to hear. Yes, And not at

18:51

know. There's one song I go good beer

18:53

at. I know when it's common the outset.

18:55

Because you know, insult somebody's but

18:57

ah, there that. there's definitely arm.

19:00

There's. A song for

19:02

that Now before we the get the queen

19:04

is because this made me laugh so hard.

19:07

That speak in his ear nation. Paddle

19:10

well when I talk about the show

19:13

on Netflix ah that was did Did

19:15

we are the world? What is it

19:17

that night of. The

19:19

greatest site is hop is on Netflix is of

19:21

fun. Kill. An hour and a

19:23

half on. but you really are watching as you

19:26

want to see everybody in it because it's amazing.

19:28

They're all like. Twenty five years younger and out

19:30

you but we talked about that on this show. Is

19:32

your eyes a a plus? on Had the let it

19:34

All. Yeah. Michael

19:36

was more blacks and he ended

19:38

up fisher Awesome! Cyndi

19:41

Lauper is still. Sort of erratic and

19:43

money they attain on last. Year

19:46

and the most pace you would have always Diana

19:48

Ross and I would have thought she to be

19:50

the biggest see that everybody. She's still standing there

19:52

with paper three in the morning. Gods are we

19:54

ready and like only on it would kill these

19:56

people. I would have been without what's his face

19:58

the country. Singer. Waylon Jennings

20:00

where he's just like yeah I

20:03

gotta get going man this is

20:06

ridiculous like I don't even sing like

20:08

this what am I doing here they

20:10

had to get country people though but

20:12

so when you I went

20:14

on to show show something

20:17

to my friend on YouTube

20:19

there's a Canadian version so

20:22

the Brits did feed the

20:25

let them the band-aid or whatever that

20:27

was called I did not know there was

20:30

a Canadian one they

20:33

called themselves Northern Lights I'm not

20:35

laughing because I just laughed because

20:37

David Foster who's married to that

20:39

Catherine McPhee the lady from American Idol

20:41

they're on the road I see him and

20:43

I'm like who's buying a ticket to this David

20:47

loves David and Catherine loves Catherine

20:49

so that's a perfect magic but

20:52

he was in charge of this thing he

20:55

completely ripped off I mean

20:57

it the even the even how they're standing

20:59

itself but here's the people that are in

21:02

it this shows you because you remember our

21:04

northern friends don't have as many people as the

21:06

United States so they have

21:08

some heavy hitters Gordon Lightfoot what

21:12

the song is uh tears

21:14

are not enough kissing

21:18

some more of it

21:20

together we can change

21:22

the world forever Brian

21:24

Adams and the

21:26

nose tears

21:31

are not enough there

21:34

Gordon Lightfoot I

21:37

didn't know Burton Cummings who is that a

21:40

folk singer I knew Anne Murray the

21:43

Queen of Canada well Jan Arden

21:47

is the current reigning queen because Anna has

21:49

retired Joni Mitchell Queen

21:51

of Canada but doodling

21:53

Queens to Queen Dan

21:56

Hill who's Was

22:00

he like a Dan Fogelberg? Yeah, no, no,

22:02

Dan Fogelberg was better. He was better. Neil

22:07

Young in this video, you have to go see

22:09

it on YouTube. He looks like how you would

22:11

dress up on Halloween if you wanted to look

22:13

like a rock star. Like he's got a bandana

22:15

around his head. I couldn't believe it was Neil

22:17

Young. Brian Adams,

22:19

who I cannot tolerate. Who's

22:22

Mike Reno in Liberty Silver? No idea.

22:25

You don't know. Okay. Loverboy?

22:28

Yeah, so good. His name is

22:30

Mike Reno. Oh, so that was

22:32

him with Liberty Silver. Who's Carol

22:34

Baker? Adult contemporary. Adult

22:37

contemporary? We ran with us up there. Is she an

22:39

old turtle? Now she is. Now she is.

22:42

Corey Hart. Remember the guy in my

22:44

strong class his last night. He

22:47

always sounded like somebody was punching him

22:49

while he was filming. He probably was.

22:52

He was cute though. And

22:55

then insert some French people that I couldn't

22:57

even write their names down fast enough. Their

23:00

names are so long and there's so many of

23:02

them. I'm just like, I just put insert French

23:04

people and they're singing in French because

23:07

that's the rule of Canada. You got to have your

23:09

and then, um, Geddy Lee.

23:12

Is my saying that? Yeah. Jenny.

23:15

Who is I did not know his name is the

23:17

lead singer of Rush. Okay. Then.

23:21

So those people are

23:23

all very talented. Not knocking Canada. This

23:26

is a good roster, but there's not quite

23:28

enough. So they open. They

23:31

opened it up to just any

23:33

Canadians that are famous. You don't have

23:35

to be able to sing John Candy. Eugene

23:38

Levy. It's

23:41

the whole, oh yeah. Catherine O'Hara. Um,

23:43

Alan sick was there. Paul

23:45

Shafer. And my

23:48

favorite Wayne Gretzky and NHL

23:50

fans. They just let

23:52

Wayne. He fans come say the video.

23:58

You're just like, why? I walked

24:00

this Wayne Kretzky there and then you're

24:02

like, oh, they explained it at

24:05

the end. Of course, God,

24:08

it made me laugh. You guys gotta go watch the video.

24:10

Put it in the schnoz. And put it in the schnoz.

24:12

Tears are not enough.

24:18

If we can love together. It's

24:22

your turn, Quarterheart. We can change

24:24

the world forever. Grace

24:28

is always purple. I wear

24:32

my sunglasses at night.

24:35

But I remember being a teenager loving

24:37

the video. So I can, so I

24:39

can. He toured

24:41

for 10 years on that song alone.

24:44

Welcome for Cory Hart. What's he doing

24:46

these days? He and Tiffany. Tiffany.

24:49

There's been videos on TikTok of her recently. I'm

24:51

just saying you might wanna go check that out.

24:53

There's a lot going on there. There's a lot

24:55

going on. Yeah. I

25:00

gotta stop doing it. I'm gonna do Cory Hart

25:02

the rest of the day. For

25:05

any reason at all. Do you

25:07

PS, man? It's at the

25:09

front door. He's a

25:11

fan of money. We talk. Queen

25:22

news. We're moving on to queen news. Dolly

25:26

Parton and her sister Rachel have a

25:29

new cookbook called Good Looking Cooking. It's

25:32

available for pre-order pretty soon.

25:35

Yeah, her sister Rachel, I looked

25:38

her up. She's 65, so

25:40

she's the youngster. And she's

25:42

a singer too. And

25:44

she's very pretty. I

25:47

don't know that I would wanna be the sibling

25:49

to someone quite as famous as Dolly. Did

25:51

I ever tell you I went to see Donna Summer

25:53

one time in Las Vegas? It was fucking great.

25:56

But there was a lady, well she's dead now. You can't

25:58

go see her. A

26:01

Bob bob and clerk to mother

26:03

to see Barry Manilow. Mother is

26:05

is dementia but she wanted to

26:07

go bare minimum. So. Let's add center

26:09

if they took her and it's one of

26:12

the greater shows I've ever seen. My friend

26:14

Tracy a New York always was it and

26:16

you would not see Tracy quite frankly. The

26:18

Bear email sent a traces. Gotta.

26:21

Sit Together said it. A giant rottweilers.

26:23

he lists in a nutshell a questionable

26:25

good see another neighborhood news. she's tough.

26:28

She just doesn't seem to have that super soft

26:30

side Just say and it doesn't come out a

26:32

lot. Love Tracy! one of my good Drink it

26:34

but I'm. See. The Sandalow. She

26:36

told me to go with the Greatest Dynamite.

26:38

No one ever said what are you want

26:41

to come up there Hi, I'm air. What's

26:43

ahead of the people? You have any

26:46

sweatshirt your merchandise now. He.

26:49

Don't want. No.

26:54

Less is. As.

26:57

And the baby care time I

26:59

hope is he was. It's easy

27:01

to speed he saw the people.

27:04

Know. Some see

27:06

this is follow me every step. You

27:10

have a twelve treats. Today's as. I'm

27:16

sorry if you listen it is a so

27:18

on apple or spots I of your duty

27:20

as his baby cat. She never comes up

27:22

later. Oh. My gosh, there

27:24

we go. Okay, yes, he doesn't really.

27:26

chapel likes to be held. He's

27:29

a lover says know. So

27:32

I saw this cookbook. It's

27:35

allies have a family, friends and Foods which is

27:38

due out in September. Long. With

27:40

six photos different series of ours is it on a

27:42

summer and of is a. Pseudo.

27:44

It's done, some are left. The siege and then the

27:46

band's name the song and the was one lady. In

27:49

like a line of three women. Who.

27:51

Was her part and she sounded exactly like Donna Summer

27:53

and I google it. And it was her. Sister.

27:57

Who here's the thing is Donna.to

27:59

at first. Oh yeah, and

28:01

you have that kind of voice which

28:03

is so distinct. yes and stuff. You

28:05

know to want to be silly in it? Will. He

28:08

I'm here to Canada that she beaters

28:10

a punch. I don't know. Anyway,

28:13

Rachel. The singer to very British. This

28:17

is what did so it's it's

28:19

recipes they love. For family time

28:21

it's gonna be available September twelfth.

28:23

Dolly system is seen the business

28:25

and never stops. It's

28:28

amazing on. The. Title is

28:30

it is a nod to what part and

28:32

sings whenever she walks into her citrus sister's

28:34

kids and hey look it's were to guess

28:36

it is a stencil a reference to seems

28:38

and glial cells. He's a look and court

28:40

as. A press release and publishers. Now

28:43

I'm sick. I'm gonna go see Barry Manilow again. It

28:46

has a habit. I

28:49

may have a super secret date

28:51

in it. May not be at

28:53

the Mirage anymore. smart my twelve

28:55

twelve year reign of the Mirage

28:57

highlighter room every now and I

28:59

only did it certainly does. But.

29:03

At least a few times a year. I

29:05

am I gonna move on because they're They're

29:07

turning it into the Hard Rock. And.

29:09

Then. It's is gonna be

29:11

kind of chaos for a while why they do

29:13

that So I had a find another home. You'll.

29:16

Find out where myths so on. The. Stirrup

29:18

I'm pretty excited. Yeah,

29:22

it might be on a holiday weekend,

29:24

just. From.

29:27

I. Haven't I have a. Queen

29:31

news about take take. Take

29:35

isn't see more of a get. A load of this.

29:37

This is why I'm say and like us.

29:39

It. Paddles. All on board with

29:41

Tt. I has been. On the

29:43

bandwagon person and I'm half assed that. I'm

29:47

tired. Yeah, Sounds. Sense

29:49

of the Seal a wonderful see

29:51

things are diary out loud I

29:53

was com. on that process yes

29:56

it is and see these

29:58

things about moon the and

30:01

weird shit I don't know what it's about I like

30:03

that. It's

30:09

weird I just prefer weird. Tay

30:12

Tay's is quite literal and I'm a literal

30:14

person very little

30:16

literal person I should it's just I'm not interested

30:19

in the breakup song and you you hurt me

30:21

and I'm mad I don't I'm being I don't

30:23

care I'm dual for

30:25

that. Is Travis the one?

30:29

I don't know there's a comedian

30:31

and I won't say his name and

30:34

I put him as one of my fun friends. I

30:36

do know he graduated from college and secretly he's

30:39

very smart but if you hung

30:41

out with him you would not think he

30:43

was the smartest person in the room. He's

30:45

one of the most fun but

30:48

I I don't

30:51

know and even he said to

30:53

me, did you think

30:55

this Travis guy's smart enough for her? I'm like

30:57

oh my god if he just said it even

31:00

he's catching on I don't

31:02

know maybe she's enough brains for two and

31:06

we just let him be the younger brother goof off

31:08

fun guy maybe.

31:10

She's serious.

31:13

She's got some fun.

31:16

Yeah she's she seems to she likes her

31:18

cat she seems to be funny sometimes. She

31:20

has a good sense of humor seems like.

31:24

This is why though I'm fascinated with

31:27

because we're never we've never seen anything like this in

31:29

our lives and we will never again in our lifetime

31:31

I guarantee you she brokered a

31:33

deal with a nation to not

31:36

perform in other nations. Singapore

31:38

brokered a deal with Taylor Swift so she wouldn't

31:41

take the errors toward us to other Southeast Asian

31:43

countries. Now a Philippine lawmaker

31:47

in the Philippines is calling that out. You're

31:49

too late. You're too late. The shows

31:51

are over. Yeah he's mad. Well

31:58

I understand. There's a few

32:00

between Singapore and neighboring government officials and it's all

32:02

down to Taylor Swift. Now you have governments fighting

32:04

over you. This is what I'm saying. Not even

32:06

Michael Jackson. I don't think. I

32:10

don't think. Maybe, maybe Michael

32:12

Jackson could have pulled something like this

32:14

off, maybe. He's the only person I

32:16

can think of. Global

32:19

chaos and income

32:21

and it's insane. Nobody

32:25

can buy a t-shirt. On

32:27

Wednesday, Philippines Representative Joey is

32:30

Salqueda called on the Philippines

32:32

Department of Foreign Affairs to protest against

32:34

the grant the Singapore government authorized in

32:36

exchange for Swift agreeing not to perform

32:39

somewhere else in Southeast Asia during her

32:41

world tour. Some three

32:43

million in grants were given by the

32:45

government to AEG to host the concert

32:47

in Singapore. So AEG, sometimes I do

32:49

AEG stuff. They're the promoter.

32:52

I always have a nice time with them. But

32:54

I have a nice time with Live Nation. And

32:57

Outback. Outback's my

32:59

go to. Those are my BFS and Live Nation.

33:01

They're more serious. They're bigger dogs. Outback

33:04

is like a medium dog. And

33:07

AEG's somewhere between Outback and Live Nation.

33:09

I'd say. But what do

33:11

I know? I just go and show up. Tell jokes.

33:15

This guy said this isn't what good neighbors

33:17

do. Their countries are good friends.

33:19

That's why actions like this hurt. Whoa!

33:24

Welcome to being Canadian. But

33:28

you know what she did? Here's the country

33:30

she couldn't work in if she did it.

33:32

Wait, okay. The

33:34

Asian nations, which also included, aside

33:36

from the Philippines, Brunei, Cambodia,

33:39

Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar,

33:42

and Vietnam. So

33:44

what she did is went, they'll come to me. Because

33:47

sometimes we do that when we book things. Like

33:49

if I say, look, there is no reason for

33:51

me to go to A, B, or

33:54

C, when if I just go to D, they'll drive

33:56

there. Meet in an hour and a half

33:58

drive, or two hour drive, or whatever. do

34:00

two shows. That's how it works. Good for

34:02

Tay Tay. Queen news. I

34:06

should have Queen news. I should have a Trump. I

34:08

should have royal music. I

34:11

need royal music. When I say Queen news,

34:13

I want, you know, the royal entry. That's

34:17

the goat. Baby Cat doesn't even react to

34:19

that. Listen, what kind of night

34:21

guard are you? That's a goddamn screaming goat in the

34:23

house. You're doing nothing. She's

34:27

been awake for a week. She has been awake for

34:29

a week. When is that short thing

34:31

coming back here? Greenies.

34:37

She loves greenies. She only likes,

34:39

loves some

34:44

purees. Yeah, there's some

34:46

gravy packs they like. Yeah,

34:49

it's a gravy deal. She's great.

34:52

The fans bring her so many greenies and I'm

34:54

so excited because those are expensive. She also likes

34:57

the frisky ones. There's a couple

34:59

where they're just like, nope, they were coming.

35:01

They were around little like they look

35:03

like little piece of popcorn. Didn't

35:05

like her. She's not

35:09

feral. She's not feral. No, she sleeps in

35:12

bed with me. And she has

35:14

a very expensive litter box. But

35:17

she can be feral. Maybe part

35:20

time. Feral. Yeah. Yeah. She's

35:23

a part time. Share

35:27

a judge

35:29

sides with share in tentative ruling that

35:31

could end $1 million royalties war

35:35

with Mary Bono. Oh, yeah,

35:37

I didn't even know this was happening. No,

35:40

he believes the judge shares entitled to receive

35:42

ongoing compensation royalties from songs including I Got

35:45

You Babe and the beat goes on as

35:47

outlined in her 1978 divorce agreement

35:50

with Sonny Bono despite Sonny's heirs

35:52

exercising the right to recapture his

35:54

underlying copyrights under

35:56

the Federal Copyright Act law. trying

36:00

to get the money for it. As

36:02

long as Cher's alive, bullshit. Yeah,

36:05

there is not one neater nephew that's going

36:07

to come grubbing around this house looking for

36:09

royalties from Saudi exchange. I

36:11

will, if you have the balls to ask why I'm alive,

36:13

you just wait till I'm dead and you'll be so happy

36:15

you kept your mouth shut. You won't even believe it. That's

36:21

the bloody Mary. It's great. There's

36:23

enough Old Bay in there and Rockin' Vodka

36:25

to keep me going. I

36:28

can't believe Mary Bono, he

36:30

said he wasn't persuaded by Mary's

36:32

arguments that Cher's lawsuit should be

36:34

rejected because she never named Sonny's

36:37

other heirs his four kids, including

36:39

four. He mostly had kids

36:41

with other people. He

36:43

had one with Cher. So who are

36:45

these other three? Including

36:50

Cher's son Chaz Bono as defendants, even though

36:52

the case affects their royalty payments as well.

36:55

I think Mary Bono's interests

36:57

are sufficiently aligned with those

36:59

of Sonny's children so she

37:01

can adequately represent them. And there's

37:03

evidence of their awareness

37:06

of this litigation, but no objective

37:09

or effort to intervene. Yeah,

37:12

you can't. Sonny Bono's kids, well, they

37:14

want it now because he's dead. But

37:17

Cher still should give 50%. Whatever percentage

37:20

was reached in the divorce

37:22

agreement. All right. Well, that's

37:24

our queen news. I got nothing on the

37:26

boys. Jelly booked

37:28

his biggest stadium tour ever. That's the news.

37:30

He's very excited about that. I'm very excited

37:32

about that. That

37:35

creepy king baby cake that Stevie's

37:37

wearing. I drank that.

37:40

See that straw in his head? Is it

37:43

creepy, creepy if you can't see this creepy,

37:45

plastic king baby cake? From

37:49

a baby king cake. Right. And it has a straw in

37:51

its head. And I know not to drink multicolored drink. That's

37:53

going to be in my book when I write my book. Don't

37:55

drink it. But

37:57

I just wanted really, I just wanted that. I

38:00

wanted. To let end your call

38:03

him and adjusted be treated was discuss

38:05

any of these athletes. Oh and other

38:07

thing. So. Walk around

38:09

the French Quarter I ran into to

38:11

termites. I'm one

38:13

being from. A lotta where

38:15

my cousins live. Outside St.

38:17

Louis. And they were both

38:19

so excited to meet me and somehow

38:22

accidentally. He. Had a hurricanes are

38:24

going ahead and his friend hit it like reaching

38:26

for the phone or something in it. It flew

38:28

into the air. I didn't really see that happen.

38:30

I thought a bird shit on my head. I

38:32

was like. Salmon. Come

38:35

on man. and I was standing under something I'm

38:37

like how could have birds have said i'm pissed

38:39

on the whatever Well he still does draco me

38:41

I said on he was mortified. L

38:44

my says it's fine it's just a t

38:46

shirt I you know where I got it,

38:48

what it what what was away seizures are

38:50

so hopefully they purple and he was like

38:52

a couple of of us are like it's

38:54

fine to swear to god watches I know

38:56

I forgot your first name we took pictures

38:58

and all that it to leak you are

39:00

the was The shirt is fine as I

39:02

predicted. Ozden. Yep! So.

39:05

I don't have any Snoop Dogg news

39:07

either. Of

39:11

us live. Oh yeah, he does his

39:13

guard down and as update. Ozark.

39:18

Was. Shit, I'm looking for the other one

39:20

thought day. So.

39:22

The Kansas City Playoff game. Where as for

39:25

blow I said Roger Goodell is such a

39:27

whore. People are going to

39:29

suffer lifelong injuries from sit not that

39:31

shit and there's all guys are have

39:33

heart attacks or own people Women to

39:36

that this is you shouldn't do this,

39:38

You should is this is irresponsible for

39:40

the general public. I know some people

39:42

are the smartest. But. You don't

39:44

invite dumb people to get dumber.

39:47

Well, Here's thing.

39:50

Kansas. City Chiefs fan ceasing amputations after

39:52

attending playoff game know? Oh yeah up

39:54

their fingers. Half of

39:56

their fingers right at the knuckle. Gone.

40:00

Yeah. I'm. It

40:03

was minus four degrees, a wind chill of

40:05

minus twenty seven as the vans lot sir

40:07

Tim when the that fifteen of them were

40:09

forced to go to the hospital say no

40:12

that satellites compared or whatever. eighty thousand and

40:14

stadium. It's.

40:17

A lot of your one of the fifteen

40:19

seventy percent of the patients referred for frostbite

40:21

injuries are in the middle. Gold are now

40:23

being advised to schedule amputations. The. Majority

40:25

of them and fans who attended the game. We

40:29

saw them! Fun! I would have those guys in

40:31

their backyard either. for three guys died in

40:33

the some frozen in chairs. Quiet as been

40:35

super quiet and I don't know what the

40:37

hell's going on there. and I have a

40:39

google alert on. The the

40:41

It: Despite the cool weather situation, the Nfl

40:44

opted to play the game scheduled. Whether they

40:46

rethink moving forwards remains that know they're not

40:48

going to retake anything. Roger Goodell doesn't give

40:50

a shit except about my money. That's not

40:52

what he cares up. Money and power. His.

40:55

Or her body says eat these if you're dumb enough to

40:57

sit other. Fuck you while. You

41:00

know, some people paid all their money. And.

41:02

They made all the arrangements to go in and

41:04

they see like lobby okay you know I that

41:06

six there's a gloves and heating pack as I

41:08

can guarantee ever nods to do everything would fall

41:10

off all my for years of off. Flies.

41:13

Data on a couch with a

41:15

dry a blanket on arms. And

41:17

then there's another update: The

41:21

kids, the city super fear. That we talk

41:24

about of his focus the wanted city

41:26

for hauling just like a wolf and

41:28

they caught up. The bank robber well

41:30

is pleaded guilty to bank robbery and

41:32

money laundering is a They have a

41:34

picture. Of into his outfit is spectacular as

41:36

a wolf and I don't even away comes

41:38

as a wolf because the chiefs are wolves.

41:42

For. A Rather than it's

41:44

not like it's the Minnesota Timberwolves.

41:46

And he came as a wolf. Or.

41:48

When they played the Titans, He robbed of I hear

41:51

what? I'm just sayin' here. I'm not sure that be

41:53

that hard. Or

41:55

honey, what are? you won't all

41:57

your money right? It

42:00

may. Thirty million is nothing moving quickly down

42:02

here. Now I can't I'm not on Came

42:04

out there quickly. A novel Make a mistake

42:06

is is that your new little wolfie alpha?

42:09

I'll be right back. There

42:12

polite but sometimes life with the south

42:14

you just wanna go Khaliq all go.

42:20

Calm down here where you

42:22

from up north. it's Zarrella

42:25

for our Forums. Car is

42:27

a car to system. Never.

42:30

Pay him. A

42:33

kid sees his teeth. Superfan known as Chiefs

42:36

a Holiday has pleaded guilty of federal they

42:38

were Richards's It's Free as admitting to a

42:40

string of robberies of banks and credit unions

42:42

as Seven state than laundering the stealing money.

42:45

Through casinos a Federal prosecutor

42:47

in Missouri announced on. He.

42:50

Also pleaded guilty to money laundering and

42:52

taking stolen property across state lines. Admit

42:54

he he engaged eleven bank and credit

42:56

union robberies or attempted robberies and twenty

42:58

twenty Two and Twenty Twenty three. He.

43:01

Will He came to the Nfl games

43:03

dressed as a wolf. It's oh I

43:05

get it, a wolf in sheep's clothing

43:07

of stop. I. I

43:10

I. He tried to

43:12

conceal hundreds of thousands of dollars and stolen cast

43:14

by using it to gamble online in a casino,

43:17

but the odds caught up with some. Money

43:19

phases of the sister years in federal prison

43:22

without parole Under the agreement. Is.

43:24

Due to be since July tenth. He.

43:26

Has to pay and a degree plea

43:28

deal. He has to pay five hundred

43:30

thirty two thousand dollars to and to

43:32

the victim financials institutions and forfeit any

43:34

property involved in money laundering to including

43:36

an autograph paintings of Kansas City Chiefs

43:38

quarterback. Patrick. Were homes that as they be covered

43:40

by the F B? I oh my god. There

43:45

goes the man cave. Cause.

43:53

So there you go. What are we? What? Are we

43:55

learning all my other children? termites,

43:57

lotta children. Crime. doesn't

43:59

pay you will get caught eventually

44:02

you will get caught update

44:07

Malaysia we're starting to look

44:10

search for my flight again

44:13

flight 370 oh

44:15

my god if you don't know my

44:17

feelings on this please go watch

44:19

my special on Netflix called bothering

44:21

Jesus and my thing about Malaysia

44:23

in Malaysian airline 370 is the

44:26

longest joke I've ever had

44:28

in my life on any special or any

44:30

CD and I think I have

44:32

seven I don't know whatever seven

44:34

CDs I'm doing well I

44:37

lived long enough to keep going I've

44:41

never most jokes that I have and I

44:43

only know this because I have to time them out when I

44:45

have to do editing and all this stuff anywhere

44:47

from two to four minutes

44:49

this thing goes on so if you hate

44:52

the topic fast forward do that part because

44:54

I couldn't believe it went on and on and

44:56

then I felt like I'm the only person that

44:59

doesn't have a job or kids in the day

45:01

so I'll monitor this on behalf of everyone else

45:03

because how is it that in

45:05

2016 we have lost a fucking airplane

45:07

that sentence made sense to me if

45:09

you said that in 1590 about a

45:11

ship I don't know it

45:14

left Spain must

45:17

have been a wind I mean it's

45:19

so ridiculous so the

45:22

Malaysian government is thinking of reopening

45:25

the search now there's that Texas

45:27

group Oceana I believe they're called it said

45:29

look we know where it's at we'll

45:31

spend our own money just let us

45:33

do it yes the

45:35

government said it may I think the government's doing

45:38

this because these other people are

45:40

gonna do it come hell or high water and then

45:42

it's gonna be found and I have an

45:44

article behind this that they know where it's

45:47

at and they're not saying where it's at

45:49

because everybody believes including me that it was

45:51

the pilot who did that and

45:53

then it's their fault And then you

45:55

owe a lot more money than the bullshit check you

45:57

probably handed those people It you. Ten

46:00

Years Ago Was Eight years ago. No, ten

46:02

years as a ten year anniversary. Ah,

46:06

Yes, On. Their thinking about

46:08

reopening it does. I think people are getting

46:10

close to them, you know? The.

46:13

Truth and then they'll be like always

46:15

found it. Levels.

46:17

And I've never trust the government on this. For one thought,

46:20

you. Know the wrong ocean You'll see watches vessel.

46:22

You see why. That's the point. Like, but it's

46:24

not a punchline. it's what the man actually said.

46:27

We. Have. Him

46:29

in Iraq ocean. Eight

46:33

to sixteen. I'm.

46:39

So they're gonna. They're thinking about that

46:41

reopening it. And. Then this

46:43

one says. Ah does

46:45

the same full truth Malaysia knows

46:47

them to didn't blame but read

46:49

ceases to acknowledge the secret about

46:52

it's pilots who was obsessed with

46:54

model twins. These

46:56

women. online. They're twins. There

46:58

is a hottie Saudis signing

47:00

a hottie Young He's and

47:02

girls Yet home. Malaysia.

47:05

Nose with a row records of the Doom Blade

47:07

is it receives zoos knowledge to see full truth

47:09

about Crass. There's also a leading expert that said.

47:12

A pilot guy. He said this, you had

47:14

to have a perfect pilots who that like

47:16

a real pilot kansas be an accident. He

47:18

probably out turned off the oxygen in the

47:20

back. they'll just go eventually As much mass

47:22

dropped out last for twenty minutes their oxygen,

47:24

twenty hours at last in the cockpit and

47:26

then he flew it to where he knew

47:29

it was a black hole. meaning he knew

47:31

there was no way for detection in some

47:33

areas I guess is still node dissection. And.

47:35

Then he took it down and then. With full forced

47:38

out to break it up and as many

47:40

diseases button. On Surprise

47:42

Elysium, we wouldn't be embarrassed. I imagine if

47:44

you're still thinking shit like that, nearly kill

47:46

yourself in two hundred sixty people Anyway, This.

47:50

Guy and. City or aviation

47:52

industry veterans as Malaysian Airlines blaze

47:54

rip. Remains. A lie

47:56

one thousand, nine hundred and thirty three

47:59

kilometers due west. Perth. After

48:02

experts trace the final flight path of the

48:04

plane. He's also tracked

48:06

the plane of the route using way to a ways and

48:08

believes that one more search in 2020. 2024 will reveal its

48:12

final resting place. Analysts of the

48:14

plane's final moment and the recovered debris from

48:16

the pilot was pushing down on the control

48:19

to crash a plane in a high speed dive

48:21

to ensure the aircraft broke up into all

48:23

these pieces. It's

48:25

a suicide and it's the one is

48:27

a hurry captain Zahari. But

48:30

these twins he was I

48:33

had neither. He was

48:35

obsessed and suicidal. So they

48:38

say I'm not saying that don't quote me. He

48:41

flew the same route that he had in his simulator

48:43

who has that maybe pilots have simulators in their home.

48:45

I don't know but he had that exact path on

48:48

his simulator home. Why would you have that if it's not

48:50

even a real route. Right.

48:55

I get it. But I mean he

48:57

had one in his home and he's doing that route. Follow

48:59

that route. He

49:03

was stalking models posing

49:06

as anti-government stuff on Facebook.

49:10

Oh I'm sorry. He was stalking models.

49:12

This is his strange behavior stalking these

49:14

twin models and posting anti-government

49:16

stuff on Facebook.

49:19

No country he wrote no country wants to own an

49:21

air crash. It's a mass. Oh no. No country wants

49:23

to own an air crash. It's a massive dent to

49:25

their national pride and no one wants a

49:27

suicide. Well here's the twins. Malaysian

49:31

models. Kemen land. I'm

49:33

sure they don't say land. I'm sure that's

49:35

my Midwest pronunciation land and land key.

49:38

He somebody get land

49:40

and other by light. They're 26 years

49:43

old and he was begging them to

49:45

come to Kuala Lumpur and sending creepy

49:47

messages on Facebook. Now that doesn't necessarily

49:49

make you a murderer as my dad

49:51

would point out. But it's weird. He

49:59

had very strong answers. anti-government views, rabid

50:01

political rants. If

50:03

a Qantas pilot did something like that, he

50:05

would be spoken to and grounded. Yeah, this

50:07

is what I'm saying. This is a problem

50:09

with people in their 40s. People are going

50:11

through divorces. People aren't ready to retire. I

50:13

want my pilot, as I say it in

50:15

my act, I want him to be

50:17

55 because he's worked hard enough. He

50:20

wants to get to retirement. And

50:22

he's already, if he was divorced, that's long

50:24

over. It's all settled. I don't want somebody

50:26

hot under the collar. Go type bitch, go

50:29

into the car. Fuck you. Like, no, no,

50:31

no, no. The 40s are too volatile. Everybody's,

50:33

a lot of people's 40s are nuts. Like

50:36

50s, whatever happened to happen,

50:38

we're just moving towards free money. Well,

50:40

not earn money, but free, the

50:43

money that's coming. Welcome. So that's my

50:48

update and I'm all excited. Let's get it

50:51

started again. Let's do it. Update.

50:58

We just got Beyonce's song perhaps being

51:00

stolen. Well,

51:04

here's the official statement

51:06

from Bruce Cockburn who wrote the song.

51:10

Coburn. I read C

51:12

O C K B U R N. He

51:14

said, I think Beyonce's Texas

51:19

Hold'em is a good record. Unfortunately,

51:21

I can't claim to have any part in

51:24

writing it. The rhythmic feel is

51:26

similar to my theme song for Franklin,

51:28

the TV series. But to

51:30

my ears, that's where the similarity stops. Texas

51:33

Hold'em is hers and I wish her success.

51:37

That has to be the final thing. Yeah,

51:40

I don't believe it.

51:43

By the way, we have

51:45

good knowledge for all the termites that wrote

51:47

in. Oh, for all the

51:49

termites that wrote Franklin was on PBS. I just never

51:52

saw it. I didn't know, but now

51:54

I'm going to go watch it on YouTube. Remember

51:57

The Canadian. Giant

52:00

Boss A Hockey cars that were

52:02

not opened. They could have twenty

52:04

rookie Wayne Gretzky cards. None.

52:07

Of those rookie cards will include Wayne

52:09

Gretzky singing. Tears are not

52:11

enough. In

52:16

an. Open case of ah key card sound in

52:18

the basement office. Earned a family

52:20

in Canada. File Three

52:22

Point Seven Million. Ah awesome

52:25

is that. Yeah.

52:28

Real ticket. That's

52:30

right, used by to to say thing you would

52:32

if. I'm. A

52:38

Mystery shift. Disaster. With thirty two crew

52:41

members has finally been found. This one hundred

52:43

twenty years of. It's

52:46

nice to the families don't as they still remember

52:49

they had someone on that ship. Hundred

52:52

and Twenty or on the the should mystery

52:54

of the missing ship the Vanish without a trace

52:56

of the cause of Australia's only been solved

52:58

a city under see as wars who stumbled upon

53:00

a by lock the Ss Nemesis was transporting

53:02

pulled Melbourne Australia in July nineteen. Oh for well

53:04

with the great year cm a grumble is

53:06

more when I got caught in a powerful

53:08

storm of New South Wales and vanished along with

53:11

thirty two of it's crew members in the

53:13

weeks after the storm bodies. The. Crew members

53:15

of roman of the ships wreckers

53:17

washed ashore on Granola Beach, about

53:19

eighteen miles south of Sydney's. The.

53:22

Generated a meteor storms. For

53:25

the record to the two hundred and forty foot settled That's

53:27

big. That's a big boat. Was.

53:29

Never found in his final resting

53:31

place remain a mystery Some see

53:33

Professional Marine Services a remote sensing.

53:36

Company searching the ocean floor of the closest any.

53:39

I. Accidentally stumbled upon it, the wreckage

53:41

was found completely untouched, About sixty

53:43

miles off? Ah sure. underneath five

53:45

hundred and. Thirty. To see the

53:48

water. They. Expect a sunken ship was

53:50

he has his nemesis for they had as you specialize

53:52

the bomb the confirmed it. On

53:54

the ship went down because the injured became

53:56

overwhelmed do the storm. They. Believe it

53:58

began to sink so quickly after. instruct by

54:00

a large wave that the crew did not have

54:02

time to deploy lifeboats. Officials have

54:04

urged families who lost ancestors to come forward. About

54:06

40 children lost their parents in this wreck. I

54:09

hope this brings closure to the families. Blah

54:11

blah blah. It's cool they found

54:13

it though. Yeah. And it's in it's in perfect shape.

54:15

I know. I mean the pictures we'll put in the show.

54:18

Yeah. So how are

54:21

you saying Franklin? Is that Texas

54:23

Hold'em? I

54:25

don't know the difference. I thought that was the beginning of her

54:28

song. We're

54:33

gonna get in trouble

54:35

for playing that. Yes

54:37

you are. Somebody just made 35

54:39

cents. Somebody just, no they're not gonna make

54:41

35 cents. YouTube's gonna go, you can't do

54:43

that. I can't put out the music. Right

54:46

but we're playing it as a joke.

54:49

Doesn't that matter? No. This is my

54:51

favorite news. Bruce Coburn gets credit my

54:53

fiance. Right. Hello

54:56

Franklin. Hey Franklin. This

54:59

is my favorite story

55:01

of the week. We're

55:04

all over the place today. No I'm on to news.

55:06

I'm on to news. I only had one holy shit

55:08

they found it. I'm on to news.

55:11

Thousands of children, the children,

55:15

are calling Congress to save

55:17

TikTok. They're

55:20

crying. They're calling crying. And

55:23

they're hammering lawmakers from phones,

55:26

lawmakers phones from school and

55:28

to tell them to vote against the bill that could ban

55:30

the app because of links to China. I

55:40

said of all, okay, one of the dumbest things

55:42

I ever heard a politician say, like I wish

55:44

they'd let comedians help politicians sometimes. I didn't care

55:46

left or right. I'll help you out. Tell me

55:49

what you're thinking about saying it. And then let

55:51

them tell me. And then I'm gonna go, okay,

55:53

here's the three you're not gonna say ever out

55:55

loud again. And here's three substitutes.

55:57

When Mitt Romney said he wanted to

55:59

deflate. fun PBS and he made a big

56:01

deal out of it. Like I have no

56:03

problems with Mittens Romney. He's a handsome man.

56:06

I believe he's an honest man. Politically,

56:08

you probably don't agree so much. He

56:11

likes goats. He doesn't like Bloody Marys or,

56:13

you know, he's a strict Mormon. But whatever.

56:17

Here's what we're not going to do, Mitt. When

56:20

you're running for president, the first thing that's

56:22

not going to come out of your mouth is I want

56:24

to kill Big Bird. People

56:27

loves Big Bird. Stop

56:29

it. You're not killing public television.

56:31

It's such a non-thing. Nobody goes,

56:33

I am sick and tired of

56:35

writing my taxes for Big Bird and

56:37

Sesame Street and PBS television.

56:39

Nobody cares. That's not, it's

56:42

just a bad focus. Well,

56:44

all these people that are now going, we got

56:46

a band, TikTok. It's a lot of old white

56:48

guys for the record and they don't understand it.

56:50

I talk about this in my real act. All

56:54

the shit I've watched. Too much swiping

56:56

for them. Well, if

56:58

you're going to say that, you just prepare

57:00

for the children and prepare for my friend

57:02

Nicole, who's 50. Because if you take away

57:04

those cooking videos, she's going to fucking come

57:06

barbecue your ass and beat you to death

57:09

with barbecue tools. There. It's not just the

57:11

children, but it's a lot of the children.

57:13

And I like that right now, if you

57:15

said, who's your congressman? I have no goddamn idea. That's why

57:17

I did that joke about Obama a hundred years ago when

57:19

he goes, I'm going to need you to call your

57:21

congressman and tell them, I go, well,

57:23

then I'm going to need you to

57:25

email me who my congressman. The

57:29

children are calling Congress and demanding they

57:31

voted gets to build a companion app. The

57:34

children, some crying are calling into their

57:36

office and making the phones ring off the

57:38

hook, fearing their favorite social media platform

57:40

is at risk. People

57:42

of all ages have called throughout the morning

57:44

expressing concerns that the owner bite

57:47

dance would force

57:49

bite dance to divest from TikTok. A TikTok

57:51

person said that the notification went to users

57:53

who are 18 years. Well, it doesn't matter

57:55

what you said to the kids are going

57:57

to find out. They're way smarter than I

57:59

am. Other stick up

58:01

for three ship acted So many

58:03

grown men work out league and

58:05

were accusing the members of being

58:07

racist by supporting the bipartisan bill.

58:10

To the flood of calls. Is

58:13

down to tick tock lobbying and it's

58:15

users on. Collars,

58:17

Told staffers the alert would not go away and

58:20

allow them to access the app until they called.

58:22

Some colors of just hanging up as soon as

58:24

they get an answer. Only concerned with accessing

58:26

the app. You

58:30

do not want. The children coming after

58:32

you. I'm telling you. Eat.

58:35

They will do shit says when you say

58:37

oh they're lazy they display on their phones.

58:39

Are aren't. As.

58:45

The exact over a Capitol Hill

58:47

phone lines got so insane that

58:49

Representative Ashley Hinson started answering calls

58:51

herself to explain to the middle

58:53

schoolers what the bill does. Say

58:57

sits on the committee on Ccp

58:59

that originated the bill requiring the

59:01

app to divest. From Bite Dance.

59:04

They. Are on ending One staffers us.

59:07

All for lives of a ringing off the

59:10

hook. Lots of kids calling from schools. also

59:12

more grown men than I expected. We got

59:14

very hammered are deal but twelve thirty is

59:16

a. We. Said young children. You can

59:18

hear teachers other dunes the background calling to

59:20

silly can access the app Had a few

59:22

adults call and say. They. Use

59:24

the app to look at quote women. That

59:28

the grown man? I guess a lot

59:30

of I'm. I'm but.

59:33

Most don't know the connection to China

59:35

and are receptive. Whom we tell them

59:37

says I'm not. I'm not receptive. I

59:39

don't care. For

59:42

her. Rest. Will.

59:44

Suffer as as bad as an

59:46

artist any other. Everybody

59:52

trust Canada. lots of it and make a

59:55

tick tock. Tick.

59:57

Can talk via why not?

59:59

just. So you're an addict. So you're

1:00:01

an addict. Tic-Coc has no

1:00:03

regard for kids' mental health. Well, take

1:00:05

it away and you'll see how crazy you've made

1:00:07

them. You can't give an addict cocaine for 10

1:00:10

years and then go, no more coca. And then

1:00:12

they're going to, they'll come kill you. Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:16

China has a vested interest in hurting our youth. And

1:00:18

they're using this app to do it. Eat this

1:00:20

app. Are

1:00:22

the Chinese kids on it? The

1:00:25

Chinese kids are not on it. No, they don't have take

1:00:27

time. That's what I'm saying. They're trying

1:00:29

to get our kids addicted to it. Right. But

1:00:31

whatever. I was addicted to Tetris. Yeah.

1:00:34

On Game Boy. I have an

1:00:37

addictive personality. We all had something.

1:00:39

I mean, it could have gone back to

1:00:41

Donkey Kong. Ms. Pac-Man. I can beat anyone.

1:00:43

That's ever. When I got off work in the restaurant, we

1:00:45

had a Ms. Pac-Man in the lobby. And if I had

1:00:47

to wait for a ride or if I just wanted to sit there,

1:00:49

I secretly drank beer at a coffee cup. Nobody knew that. Whatever.

1:00:53

I was 16, 17. And I would sit there and play Ms. Pac-Man

1:00:55

and smoke cigarettes and drink beer. For hours. Hours.

1:00:58

I was addicted. I loved

1:01:00

it. But look, here I am now.

1:01:02

I have a nice job and I made my... Who

1:01:05

cares? Like... Look

1:01:07

at me. Everything's fine. Everything is

1:01:09

fine. Just

1:01:11

because at this age, I drank that King Baby Cake

1:01:13

thing full of weird alcohol. I didn't even ask what

1:01:16

was in it. I'm just like, I'll have

1:01:18

one of those. I

1:01:20

like to see if I can tell what's

1:01:22

in it. See if I can refer to

1:01:24

my bartending days. Everything's fine. Yeah. Everything's

1:01:26

fine here. For Christ's sake. Oh,

1:01:28

God. Oh, God. So,

1:01:31

the TikTok will do anything it can,

1:01:33

including manipulating and exploiting American users in

1:01:35

order to prevent... Now, this is... Now,

1:01:38

I don't want to hear from anybody that says how

1:01:41

bad it is. I hate China. I don't... Yeah,

1:01:44

that doesn't mean any bullshit. I'm just saying I'm

1:01:46

still really good at Donkey Kong. Okay? You're

1:01:49

addicted to Ms. Pac-Man. I was... Ms.

1:01:52

Pac-Man was way more... Yeah. You don't

1:01:54

consider special, that thing. Here's

1:01:57

a little businesses. This

1:01:59

is appalling. Ready?

1:02:02

This is a restaurant news. I should call it restaurant news.

1:02:05

This is called your business. That's my section.

1:02:07

That's my second name. It's your business. Applebee's

1:02:10

and IHOP are launching co-branded locations where

1:02:12

both chains are under one roof. No!

1:02:17

No, no, no! Why can't

1:02:19

I do that? What?

1:02:22

We gotta get it. Applebee's

1:02:25

and IHOP are launching

1:02:27

co-branded locations with both chains

1:02:30

under one roof. I

1:02:33

won't even eat at a place where

1:02:35

it says KFC slash R.B's. No. You

1:02:38

do one thing, you do it right. Can

1:02:41

you imagine a kitchen? Because I've worked in restaurants

1:02:43

my whole life before comedy. And

1:02:45

basically every comedy club has some sort of kitchen.

1:02:47

That's awful. To

1:02:50

have the amount of food that Applebee's

1:02:52

orders is confusing enough. Like that they

1:02:54

serve the menu. And then

1:02:56

you're gonna have the pancake people and the

1:02:59

egg people. Something's gonna get slighted.

1:03:03

If I want breakfast, I'm not going to this

1:03:05

combo one. I don't trust it. I

1:03:12

want two large pancakes and

1:03:15

broccoli. Do you have any

1:03:17

broccoli back there? No,

1:03:20

I want the giant frozen margarita. I know they're

1:03:22

on sale after 11 but I can't come tonight

1:03:25

after 11. I'm here now, I'll pay the full

1:03:27

price. And if we're, how come trivia is

1:03:29

not on? Why do you

1:03:31

only do that at night? What about those of us in the

1:03:33

daytime? Applebee's

1:03:35

is the ultimate comic road place because it's always

1:03:37

the same. But it just feels like it's lost

1:03:39

quality over the years. I used to be able

1:03:41

to eat the normal chicken and broccoli and it

1:03:43

just, I don't know, it feels like it's

1:03:46

slipping. And the longhorn is

1:03:48

my new Applebee's go-to on the

1:03:50

road. I do love a longhorn.

1:03:53

So is my friend Kathy. So and you know the longhorn

1:03:56

cows are different in every longhorn. Some are blind,

1:03:58

some are red with spots.

1:04:05

Combining the back of house cooking areas and

1:04:07

blending the front of house dining areas with

1:04:10

through discrete entrances. This

1:04:15

is the worst idea I have ever

1:04:17

heard of. It's to reduce costs while

1:04:20

maximizing revenues to attracting customer dining at

1:04:22

different parts of the day to the same location. At

1:04:25

breakfast there are more IHOP customers. Customers can

1:04:27

be seated in the Applebee's area and vice

1:04:29

versa at dinner. So do I get alcohol

1:04:31

now? Can I

1:04:33

order from

1:04:36

the Applebee's bar a Bloody Mary? They

1:04:38

put that whole thing outside that said

1:04:44

new and it was a Bloody Mary. Who's gonna tell

1:04:46

them Bloody Mary's aren't new you guys.

1:04:48

I know they're new to you but the way

1:04:50

this is written it looks like you just invented

1:04:52

the Bloody Mary. I can't believe Cracker

1:04:55

Barrel went straight

1:05:00

to Sangria. Why don't you start with just white

1:05:02

and red. You know what no

1:05:04

we're going to Spanish gallons. You know

1:05:06

how many people are gonna order that

1:05:08

and then go home and vomit because

1:05:10

they don't even drink. Yeah.

1:05:13

Macy's this is in your business.

1:05:15

It's your business. It's your business.

1:05:19

No. This is called your business. Macy's

1:05:22

is gonna close 150 stores in a

1:05:25

major turnaround effect but will open more

1:05:27

high-end Bloomingdale's and blue mercury locations. I

1:05:29

do not know what blue mercury is.

1:05:35

I thought it was health food like

1:05:37

a GNC and then that never never I've

1:05:39

only seen like no I

1:05:42

it's the way the logo is. Looks

1:05:44

like a health place. I don't know. Macy's

1:05:47

is gonna close 150 underperforming

1:05:51

stores in the next

1:05:54

three years. The department said more than a third of its

1:05:56

location. They should. I used to really

1:05:58

like Macy's and now every single one of them

1:06:00

might go into looks looted.

1:06:02

They were. Huh? They

1:06:05

will TJ Max home goods. People

1:06:07

get very angry over there I think because you can

1:06:09

walk down the pillow aisle and there's like 150

1:06:12

pillows on the floor. There's sheets and shit

1:06:14

people are like rooting through for a pillow

1:06:16

and they can't go goddamn it. And then

1:06:18

they're just I'm like, does anybody work on

1:06:20

this side? Like the clothing side seem fine.

1:06:22

But the the bad.

1:06:26

Macy's is 166 year old company. By 2026. There will only be 350 Macy's

1:06:31

stores. Well, good. Maybe you guys can clean

1:06:34

your shit up then. Macy's looks looted. It's

1:06:37

terrible. And I've been in a lot of them on

1:06:39

the road a lot. And I'm not seeing any that

1:06:41

look like they used to look no. The

1:06:44

way New York. Yeah, it says the company

1:06:46

which point in Newsy. Oh, this month announced

1:06:48

that it would focus on its luxury stores

1:06:51

Bloomingdale's and Blue Mercury. I cannot believe it's the

1:06:53

same as Bloomingdale's. Yeah,

1:06:55

yeah. I don't like Nordstrom.

1:06:58

If I have to go. But I think the idea

1:07:00

of a department stores gone. Yeah,

1:07:02

I never go. I don't want to go. I

1:07:06

talked about it because I was watching food and

1:07:08

the ladies went in somewhere fancy to get hand

1:07:10

gloves and I didn't sell them anymore. By the

1:07:13

way, if you haven't watched food with that guy

1:07:15

that does true and call everyone all the women

1:07:17

are great. I mean, Molly

1:07:19

Ringwald is Joanna Carson and Chloe

1:07:22

Zavigny and Diane Lane. It's it's

1:07:24

one of the craziest things I've

1:07:26

ever seen. And

1:07:28

the guy who plays Truman Capote is just bananas.

1:07:30

Great. I'm so sad that it that it's ending.

1:07:34

And I tried to watch regime by the way,

1:07:36

because I love Kate Winslet. Here's

1:07:39

what I can't do far. Because

1:07:41

it's so hard to do it right. And

1:07:43

even when it's done right, I don't love

1:07:45

it. So that and musicals until they make

1:07:47

Jaws a musical. I don't want to hear about it. Jessica

1:07:52

Lange's in one of the episodes and

1:07:55

no, she's in a play. Why?

1:07:58

It's a play because Jessica is

1:08:01

above a musical. That's

1:08:03

right. Queen Jessica doesn't

1:08:05

go out there and do fucking

1:08:07

Oklahoma. She's gonna do a smart,

1:08:10

crazy play that I'm definitely gonna buy a ticket

1:08:12

to because I wanna see Jessica Lange walk out

1:08:14

on stage and I probably won't understand anything I

1:08:17

see. But it's the same way I saw Sally

1:08:19

Field in a play. Lewis

1:08:21

told me to go. You saw Sally Field in a

1:08:23

play? Yep, it was in New York. I never go

1:08:25

to plays unless Lewis guarantees me there's a superstar in

1:08:27

there that I love. I won't

1:08:29

go. I'm definitely not going to a music.

1:08:32

The only musical I've gone to in New York and

1:08:34

I could get free tickets to all of them because

1:08:36

of Lewis' theater friends. And I

1:08:38

just, I went to share. No,

1:08:40

I went to Mamma Mia. It was

1:08:42

great. But I love Ava, so that doesn't really

1:08:44

count. We went to share the musical. All

1:08:47

right, we made Lewis, yeah, we

1:08:50

made Lewis go to share the musical. He

1:08:52

liked it. But if it's somebody

1:08:54

I love, that's different. I'd go to the Tina Turner

1:08:56

one. I'd talk about Moulin Rouge or Oklahoma.

1:09:01

My parents would watch all that. And I'm like, this

1:09:03

is so ridiculous. For a

1:09:05

Libra, I'm all about

1:09:07

logic. Wait, your West Side Story,

1:09:09

there's two gangs and you just all broke out

1:09:11

in a song. You lose

1:09:14

me. Stevie, Queen

1:09:16

Stevie doesn't like them either. So I feel like I'm in good

1:09:18

company. Anyway, I don't know why.

1:09:21

So Regime was too, I

1:09:23

couldn't even get through the whole episode. I

1:09:25

can't, I can't do it. It was, I didn't understand

1:09:28

it. Anyway, that's

1:09:30

what's gonna happen to your Macy's.

1:09:33

If there's one by you and you love it, get there quickly,

1:09:35

because it might be one of the ones that's gonna close. This

1:09:39

is the greatest announcement, one of

1:09:41

the greatest announcements in my adult life. Because

1:09:45

as somebody who

1:09:47

in the 90s, so

1:09:49

I worked at the restaurant and all

1:09:51

through high school and college, well, before high school

1:09:54

and all. And when there

1:09:56

were pay-per-view boxing matches, we had to take turns

1:09:58

and your house had to be. the host of

1:10:01

you paid the $100 or whatever. It

1:10:04

was fun because everybody chipped in $10

1:10:07

and nobody had to pay. And then

1:10:09

but we were restaurant people. So it

1:10:12

was always on Saturdays and we're like, well, you

1:10:14

know, we can't get off. So then we would we

1:10:16

taped them. Yeah. On VHS, which

1:10:19

you already knew who won. So it wasn't as exciting.

1:10:21

But I

1:10:23

did buy all of those back then. And

1:10:26

then my brother got my younger brother got

1:10:30

Nintendo and we played Mike Tyson's.

1:10:33

It's one of the only games I ever learned on Nintendo. Mike

1:10:37

Tyson's boxing, it was called. And

1:10:39

he was too stupid. My brother is too young,

1:10:41

not stupid, but he was too young to know

1:10:43

that if you took Rocky

1:10:46

Marchiano, you won every fight and I beat him

1:10:48

every time. It became a

1:10:50

pattern. I'm like, Oh, I let him win every time.

1:10:52

Okay, I got it. Well, Jake

1:10:54

Paul is gonna

1:10:57

fight Mike Tyson in

1:10:59

a boxing match script streamed live

1:11:01

on Netflix, July 20.

1:11:04

Pay-per-view our live streaming. I don't know. I guess we have to

1:11:06

pay for it. Let me see.

1:11:10

They're going to be at AT&T Stadium in Arlington,

1:11:12

Texas. 80,000 seat capacity.

1:11:14

It's the home of the Cowboys. There

1:11:17

are videos of Mike Tyson. Now he's 57 or 58 years

1:11:19

old. They're doing it in

1:11:22

the home of Jerry. In the home

1:11:24

of Jerry. If

1:11:27

you go look on TikTok or Instagram

1:11:29

and put in videos of Mike Tyson

1:11:31

boxing now, he's still

1:11:34

crazy good. And I

1:11:36

will go bet all my money

1:11:39

on Mike because Jake, I

1:11:42

know he's gotten further than everyone thinks

1:11:44

like wasn't he a UFC guy to begin with?

1:11:48

Mike's only knows boxing and he knows how

1:11:50

to hit you once you

1:11:52

will die. I know he was a reality star, but he did.

1:11:55

He's a boxer too. I

1:11:57

don't They

1:12:00

don't care how old he is. Mike

1:12:06

was the youngest heavyweight champion in history at just 20

1:12:08

years old. His proudest in the ring, let him do

1:12:10

a run at 37 consecutive victories, 33 of them by

1:12:13

knockout. I mean, some of them would last

1:12:15

literally five seconds for the children who are

1:12:17

listening. Go to YouTube and

1:12:19

watch Mike Tyson boxing. What's the best

1:12:22

Tyson fight you ever saw? The

1:12:24

best Tyson one. I don't know. You like

1:12:26

boxing. I love boxing and I hate UFC

1:12:29

and that's why I'm a hypocrite because boxing,

1:12:31

I'm like, this is great. And then

1:12:33

you have to feel like it's so violent. I

1:12:35

don't know why I differentiate them. I

1:12:39

don't hate it. I just don't. It

1:12:41

just gets too crazy for me. Like they don't stop

1:12:43

it soon enough. The UFC stuff like I

1:12:45

think I don't know. Jake

1:12:49

Paul got his start as an early

1:12:51

internet influencer, popular videos on

1:12:54

the defunct platform vine

1:12:56

and cultivating large, he

1:12:58

pivoted to boxing in 2018, turn pro in 2020.

1:13:02

He now has a nine and one record

1:13:04

that includes six knockouts. I

1:13:06

don't care. I'm betting

1:13:09

all my money on my videos.

1:13:11

He does. He doesn't look any different

1:13:14

than he did when he was 27. He's

1:13:16

going as quickly. He's the

1:13:19

same size. He's

1:13:21

a monster. Who is his trainer?

1:13:24

Wow, that's a sad story. The

1:13:26

trainer that was that was like his father died a

1:13:28

long time ago. I know. It's

1:13:31

sad. I know. This

1:13:34

story made me laugh my ass off. I'm

1:13:38

moving on. Lost cow

1:13:40

found two months later traveling with a

1:13:42

herd of bison. Yep. If

1:13:47

it looks like a lost cow, but it's hanging out with

1:13:49

a herd of bison, it probably is just a lost cow.

1:13:52

On first class, you might think that this regular old group

1:13:54

of roaming bison, when you further inspect

1:13:56

the herd, you'll notice that one of the animals doesn't

1:13:59

look like the That's because a lot

1:14:01

cow in Poland and ended up finding

1:14:03

a new home with some European bison

1:14:05

It befriended truly encompassing the phrase of

1:14:07

not all who wander or last I

1:14:09

say this but is very good chance

1:14:11

at this co simply a the discuss

1:14:14

simply and mistakenly thought though her some

1:14:16

by those who are the bison heard

1:14:18

was where it belonged it wandered off

1:14:20

from the drove of cows. It.

1:14:22

Was with it a farm and probably thought it appears

1:14:25

be doing it's best live with a while out the

1:14:27

while with the bison. When it was discovered that the

1:14:29

coward been missing the group of with was with the

1:14:31

group of bison. It had been full loss for almost

1:14:33

two months. For. It to still be a

1:14:36

five and looking healthy, the Celts joined up

1:14:38

with the heard. Pretty early on. The.

1:14:40

Bison accepted the car with open arms

1:14:42

or who's or horns. The female cousin

1:14:45

wandering around in the. Forest. Which is

1:14:47

located on the border of Poland. A Bill. Or his

1:14:49

official in the area confidently stated that the

1:14:51

by since have accepted for is one of

1:14:53

their own and luckily for the runaway cow

1:14:55

her former owner is not attempting to get

1:14:57

her back. She pulled off the greatest hits

1:14:59

escape in the history of cow kind. Of

1:15:03

land was whole proof run for the

1:15:05

forest than find a way to blend

1:15:07

in with the fall is Couto said

1:15:09

the blueprint for other courageous cows have

1:15:11

followed her hoof stuff as. Far

1:15:14

as have you got out of freedom

1:15:17

Freedom though. Advice and I'd

1:15:19

I'm the same those

1:15:21

a say that owns.

1:15:29

Know. Because it's a good one I'm saving

1:15:31

for next week. I Will tell you. The Oldest

1:15:33

Living Person Now The Oldest Living Person Now. Because.

1:15:36

The other one died is a harm fourteen

1:15:38

year old woman in Texas. Following.

1:15:40

The death of one hundred sixteen year old Edith Eddie.

1:15:43

Sister. Really in Northern California. Hundred and

1:15:45

fourteen year old woman in Texas is

1:15:47

the oldest Houston resident. Elizabeth Francis Arms

1:15:49

honor fourteen seven days in two months

1:15:51

old as. February twenty seventh.

1:15:53

Ah ha. She's

1:15:56

assists Living Living Oldest. Person the world.

1:15:58

She the oldest in the United States. I'm.

1:16:01

She has surpassed by ones it's empty for

1:16:03

as more of his arm forty. In:

1:16:05

I can I borrow Lucas. She's.

1:16:08

Of fifteenth. To. Me: Go.

1:16:11

I took up. Arms, his teeth and

1:16:13

the oldest way so loud Maria

1:16:15

Brown as Mora Spain are and sixteen.

1:16:21

Very well. Congratulations Elizabeth Iran your way

1:16:23

to world same right Know you have

1:16:26

United States same withdrawn and was gone

1:16:28

away. Your and Way. Of

1:16:32

it is is a nice. Story to end

1:16:34

on. Yes

1:16:37

this is than along one center and

1:16:39

else are you guys? I'm going a

1:16:42

try to do this every as always.

1:16:44

By. Can't promise everything is so. Punch

1:16:52

after punch. I'm fine.

1:16:55

For. His mother. I

1:16:59

though he does eager when I log and one of

1:17:02

the physical therapy girls that were to the for. A

1:17:04

long time. They madison Logan wide and

1:17:06

he's like, ah, jaded, his zelda. Just

1:17:08

stay inside for club down on like

1:17:10

I didn't get any that. Flew

1:17:13

across the country, rented a car, Drove

1:17:15

through you can believe where's and

1:17:18

I was a high elo is

1:17:20

or is he out. That's

1:17:23

what I got necessarily. Follow.

1:17:25

Their fine. I didn't have any shows.

1:17:27

The zoo caught you. rang and rang.

1:17:35

A hits he still is a level

1:17:37

as as of that. This.

1:17:39

Is kind a nice. The

1:17:41

nice thing and then I'll do.

1:17:43

I'm honestly as emerge say that

1:17:45

had aura that opposite and then

1:17:48

the data. He

1:17:50

got time. At this

1:17:52

slow grocery store checkout lane, a

1:17:54

leisurely chat is okay. Pandemic.

1:17:57

see it as a need for

1:17:59

more social interaction says admin Canada

1:18:02

grocery store owner. They

1:18:05

have launched a slow checkout lane and

1:18:07

they discovered that some people enjoy chatting

1:18:09

with the cashier while paying for their

1:18:11

groceries. They added that the personal touch

1:18:14

is helping many people especially seniors deal

1:18:16

with loneliness. That's very nice.

1:18:20

The Kroger by my house

1:18:22

has some special needs

1:18:24

people that do the bagging and

1:18:26

stuff and Anna

1:18:29

is one of them and it's just nice to check in

1:18:31

with that but she'll always think you feel better about your

1:18:33

day because she's like it's a great day. Yeah. It's

1:18:36

a great day. She's always positive.

1:18:38

Yeah. Yeah.

1:18:43

Jason Rutledge is not one to shy

1:18:46

away from conversation but that's a quality you would

1:18:48

expect from a man wearing a green hat shaped like

1:18:50

a squid. Wait what? It's

1:18:52

your it's your nation, Paddles. This is your

1:18:54

nation. Somebody fucking walked into

1:18:56

a grocery store. Yeah and that's why

1:18:58

the grocery store cashier with the huge

1:19:01

grin and infectious laugh can often be

1:19:03

found behind the register of the new

1:19:05

slow social lane at Edmonton's Toby's checkout

1:19:07

lane where people could take as long

1:19:09

as they want. I

1:19:12

look at the time I have with these people

1:19:14

our conversations especially very secret to me Rutledge said

1:19:16

for years customers like Karen have sought

1:19:18

out Rutledge to scan and check their groceries. He's

1:19:20

just a fun guy. He's so personal and friendly.

1:19:22

He's always nice. It's

1:19:25

always nice to come in somewhere where someone's got

1:19:27

a smile on their face. Oh he's got the

1:19:29

hat on. I thought a customer did. It's Jason.

1:19:31

Yeah I didn't understand that. Well

1:19:33

it is a fun squid thing.

1:19:35

Where does squid have? I don't

1:19:38

know. I'm looking at it right

1:19:40

now. It's like Safeway. Yeah. How

1:19:42

do I say it right? Yeah. Toby's?

1:19:45

Toby's. Okay.

1:19:47

So they have a fish they've designated an official slow

1:19:50

lane. I would not be in that. I

1:19:52

like self-checkout. COVID

1:19:59

kind of. self-checkout. I do

1:20:01

get frustrated. Well, any alcohol. Please

1:20:03

call on a 10-day. What the

1:20:05

fuck is the point of this? Can't I just insert

1:20:08

my license? Now I got to get a

1:20:10

person. We're right back to where we started except I'm doing

1:20:12

the work and not getting paid. I don't even get access

1:20:14

to the employee break room. I should. I need

1:20:16

to be here for

1:20:19

the next union meeting. COVID

1:20:21

has isolated us. It's sort of divided us. It's nice

1:20:23

to get a little bit of love

1:20:25

from Jason, I guess. It's the first

1:20:28

grocery store in the chain to slow

1:20:30

things down in 2007. He reported, BBC

1:20:32

reported that the supermarket chain Tesco would

1:20:34

also introduce a relax lane at

1:20:36

certain times of the day to make life less stressful for

1:20:39

those customers who needed more time. I

1:20:41

think that's right. It was developed in

1:20:43

partnership with the Alzheimer's Scotland. Cool.

1:20:46

Tesco is in Ireland too.

1:20:48

Yep. I had to go

1:20:50

there for

1:20:53

reasons that don't need to be

1:20:55

said. No. But it's like a

1:20:57

giant, it's kind of like a Target

1:20:59

meets a Costco meets a Walmart. Yeah,

1:21:03

you can get tomatoes and then pajama

1:21:05

pants and a chainsaw and

1:21:08

maybe some sort

1:21:10

of musical device. Also some delicious

1:21:12

chocolate. Oh

1:21:15

my god, sometimes the conversations go up in the slow

1:21:17

lane in Edmonton can go up to 15 minutes. Those

1:21:22

people don't have a lot to do that

1:21:25

day. So that's okay. Oh

1:21:27

yeah. Well, you know, it's a nice gesture.

1:21:30

And for those who want it, it's there

1:21:32

now. And that's nice. Okay.

1:21:34

Here's another.

1:21:37

That's the end of my next

1:21:39

story. I mean, I don't have the patience for it,

1:21:41

but I'm glad people are doing it. Shout

1:21:44

out to Claudia Florida termite who

1:21:47

gave me this

1:21:49

ranch pillow. Ready? Yeah. Oh,

1:21:53

that's fun. It's very fun. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

1:21:55

I would just got a freak baby cat

1:21:57

out. Totally. She hates change. I

1:22:02

know it's bigger than her actually Elizabeth and Chris that

1:22:04

were coming to the choice. Oh, I hope you're coming

1:22:06

to the new one They got me at my uh,

1:22:09

uh this possum hoodie. I thought I brought it up

1:22:11

off to show it next week I didn't it's very

1:22:13

cool. It's very cool and Aiden

1:22:15

from New Hampshire termite gave me some more

1:22:17

harebrubares from my plane rides that go pair

1:22:20

as well as screwdrivers Oh and

1:22:22

Gracie gave me this custom a be up Baseball

1:22:25

shirt. She said since we always make sure she

1:22:27

made me a shirt and says Troy's and then

1:22:29

it says Queen Kate I

1:22:31

know it's fun. I can't wait to own There

1:22:34

might be a baseball shirt, but guess what for sure there

1:22:37

is coming People

1:22:40

that are on all youtubers could see it, but

1:22:42

I'll explain it. It's a baby cat hoodie And

1:22:45

it's baby cat with piercing green eyes

1:22:48

It's as mad as fuck gas and then

1:22:50

on the front. It's as mad as pop

1:22:52

gas right here And they're not live yet,

1:22:55

but they're on the way They're

1:22:58

on the way. I lost my list of shows. Let me

1:23:00

see. I'll tell you where I'm going I'm supposed to do

1:23:02

that up front and I forgot There's

1:23:06

been a lot going on here's where I'm

1:23:08

going God permitting

1:23:12

Date no, I owe idiot Apple's San

1:23:14

Antonio Austin Marietta

1:23:16

Cincinnati, so Royal Oak, Detroit those

1:23:18

two shows Thank you for everybody

1:23:20

held on to your tickets Some

1:23:22

people couldn't hang on to theirs for

1:23:25

whatever reason so there are tickets left for

1:23:27

the later show for

1:23:29

both okay There's

1:23:31

not a ton but some people couldn't do it Tarrytown

1:23:34

Wilmington Anaheim Thousand Oaks,

1:23:36

West Hampton, Charlestown West

1:23:38

Virginia Portland, man I'm so excited about that one.

1:23:40

I can't wait for a lobster roll Borgata I Know

1:23:46

falls boom boom Canada had your way

1:23:48

and Hampton Beach, New Hampshire one of

1:23:50

the greatest gigs that shocked me out

1:23:52

of nowhere Fall

1:23:57

tour dates ago on a sit on sale about

1:23:59

two weeks We

1:24:01

have to do I have to get with Heidi

1:24:03

is my agent wonderful person as

1:24:06

well wonderful human. What do you

1:24:08

guys prefer as a showtime? Yeah, I'd

1:24:10

really like some response on this seven

1:24:13

some thirty or eight Because

1:24:16

I'm gonna base it off what the answers are Because

1:24:19

I don't know anymore People people

1:24:21

have to get babysitters and there's parking.

1:24:23

Do you want to eat beforehand? You want

1:24:25

to eat after? I'm

1:24:28

never gonna do anything before six. So don't

1:24:30

write 430 there are

1:24:32

comedians that are out there the clean

1:24:34

quotes clean comedians that are doing Four

1:24:37

o'clock or I'm not getting

1:24:39

a shower at two o'clock. It's never not

1:24:41

unless it's a emergency Not

1:24:44

doing that. So please don't refrain

1:24:47

from anything before six. If

1:24:49

six is your deal. That's fine I will get in

1:24:51

this. I don't like you getting ready for work when

1:24:53

it's light out It's weird

1:25:00

No, I mean summer shows that's different summer it's like

1:25:02

till nine o'clock Seven

1:25:06

that what you want, Pat Well,

1:25:11

I don't mind an early bit you know

1:25:13

quicker I get to the bar Taylor

1:25:16

here's a Taylor quote before we go. Oh No

1:25:20

No, I want response on that please termites what

1:25:22

you your wishes are my commands Yeah, what

1:25:25

you wish will come true if

1:25:27

I can do it Sometimes the venue

1:25:29

says this is what time your show's gonna be and that's

1:25:31

that Stevie stayed up

1:25:33

till 11 That's

1:25:36

right. You still have to come

1:25:38

out do landslide She's

1:25:42

not eternal she doesn't go to bed till eight in the morning

1:25:44

I don't know who what road

1:25:46

crew crews got to motivate that lady Yeah,

1:25:51

somebody will say Oh,

1:25:56

yeah, I thought I met Terrence in the French Quarter that

1:25:59

met her road crew and drank with him by accident.

1:26:01

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. This

1:26:04

is on how to win at the dating game. This is what

1:26:06

Taylor says. This is from 2014. Freeze out. You

1:26:10

don't respond to any of his texts or

1:26:12

calls until he does something desperate like shows

1:26:14

up or he calls and leaves a voicemail.

1:26:17

Something that makes it very clear to you

1:26:19

he's interested. I don't

1:26:23

want somebody showing up that I cuz that's

1:26:27

like stocky weird

1:26:29

like hey man just cuz

1:26:31

I didn't return your text doesn't mean you drive

1:26:33

over here. Right. The whole point of texting. Hold

1:26:43

on I'm doing a Dolly one. Okay

1:26:46

during the genesis of Dollywood in

1:26:48

an interview with Country Weekly I

1:26:51

was looking up at that big sign that says

1:26:53

Hollywood and I thought wouldn't it be great if

1:26:55

someday I could jerk that big old H down

1:26:57

and put a D there and make it Dollywood

1:26:59

11 years ago I got to see that

1:27:02

dream come true in the

1:27:04

mountains. She did it. And she

1:27:06

shows up there frequently

1:27:12

and then she does it's like a

1:27:14

it's like a homework movie. She rides

1:27:17

through on a little train. Hey yo

1:27:19

get yourself a corn pop. What are

1:27:23

you gonna do in Indy? What

1:27:27

am I gonna do in Indy? It's St. Patrick's

1:27:29

Day weekend. I know but I lost track of

1:27:31

that. I don't know. Well

1:27:35

I love there's a restaurant

1:27:38

there called St. Elmo's. The

1:27:40

shrimp cocktail and the sauce is

1:27:44

so good. All the food's great and it's

1:27:46

just wonderful. So

1:27:48

that's my highlight. And

1:27:51

then I have friends there. Like I've already done

1:27:53

everything because when you're a first comedian and you're

1:27:55

in the clubs you're there for a week. So

1:27:57

I've been to every zoo. I've been every tourist attraction.

1:28:00

And there's nothing I haven't seen. Sometimes I do

1:28:02

them again, but for the most part, um,

1:28:04

I've done everything there is to do now. I just have friends there.

1:28:07

So I'll get in a night early,

1:28:09

go out with friends. I'm Dayton. Um,

1:28:12

uh, oh, and, and be

1:28:15

my friend from Butler university will come. He's

1:28:18

not just my friend. He's the president. I'm

1:28:20

so proud that I know a president of the

1:28:22

university, but I still know if I turned in my

1:28:24

desk, he wouldn't let me in. No, but

1:28:26

that's okay. He shouldn't let me in. It's a

1:28:28

hard one to get in. Yeah. Yeah.

1:28:31

It's kind of fancy. I'm

1:28:34

cheering for them in March madness. Yes. And

1:28:36

then I have to root for, um, any Missouri teams

1:28:38

that may or may not be in it. Um,

1:28:42

and then I go, my mom does the whole

1:28:44

bracket all Catholic. I don't do, I mix it

1:28:46

up. Like, but my mom's gotten further than a

1:28:48

lot of people just doing an

1:28:50

all Catholic bracket. It's kind of amazing.

1:28:53

Yeah. She doesn't win it all,

1:28:55

but who does the

1:28:57

Catholic bowl? Oh, well that's where all the Catholic.

1:28:59

James, um, Jack, my nephew was in the Catholic

1:29:01

bowl and my other nephew, Thomas has been in

1:29:04

a Catholic bowl. All the Catholic schools in the

1:29:06

area play against each other and then it gets

1:29:08

whittled down from, it's like a March madness thing.

1:29:10

It goes to 24 blah, blah, blah. And then

1:29:12

I got to bust out of, um, Jackalope

1:29:14

situation there for a hot minute and go up

1:29:16

and watch Jack's game. And yeah,

1:29:18

they were all very, very good. Um,

1:29:22

even the other team, but Jack's team one,

1:29:25

it's all Catholic schools. Yeah. Um,

1:29:27

which I think sometimes maybe we're

1:29:29

overstating our greatness. Have

1:29:33

we looked at other schools? Um,

1:29:36

but you know, stay in your bubble of glory, whatever.

1:29:38

I do think if you win a Catholic bowl, though,

1:29:41

instead of a medal, you should receive a bowl that

1:29:43

says I'm Catholic and then you can keep it for

1:29:45

the rest of your life and laugh at it every

1:29:47

time you see it go. Yep. I'm Catholic. Here's my

1:29:49

bowl. It's like a bowl for

1:29:51

it. Here's my brother in law is the coach. Yeah.

1:29:54

That's why, well, my nephew is good though. But

1:29:56

he does get to play most of the time. But

1:30:01

he should play most of the time. He's a really

1:30:03

good little point guard. Yeah. Yeah. There was a kid

1:30:05

on the other team too though that had extra flair

1:30:07

and I really liked it. It was maybe a little

1:30:09

too much flair. But I

1:30:11

liked it. For that age. And he's dribbling in

1:30:13

between his legs. It's like you know he practices

1:30:16

in the driveway like that. I mean they're only

1:30:18

in eighth grade. Like there's still

1:30:20

and there's nothing cuter to me than like

1:30:22

teenage boys like because my nieces are 15

1:30:24

and they would have some dance. The girls

1:30:27

look like they look going to look when they're 40. They

1:30:30

look fine. Totally normal. Every girl. The

1:30:33

boys are so awkward. It

1:30:35

is cringe worthy. They're too

1:30:37

skinny. They have giant fluffy hair. That's

1:30:39

the thing now. All this shaggy hair.

1:30:41

They've all got braces so they're afraid

1:30:44

to smile. Like they're

1:30:46

so goofy looking. And the girls are

1:30:48

like I look awesome right? I'm like

1:30:50

yeah you totally do. Yeah.

1:30:54

So we all have the same kind of dress.

1:30:56

All of our dads are mad. I'm like well

1:30:58

they should be. I agree with your father. It's

1:31:00

too short. Jesus Christ. Anyway.

1:31:02

Don't fall. All

1:31:05

right. And that's it for this week.

1:31:08

Turn right. Hopefully I'll be having

1:31:10

St. Patrick's Day in advance. Have

1:31:12

yourself a green beer. Have

1:31:16

yourself a Guinness and one shot of

1:31:18

Jamo for good luck. Lucky

1:31:20

Jamo. That'll set you on your way to a

1:31:22

whole other wonderful year of luck.