0:01

Hello , hello and welcome to Mamas Cup of Ambition

0:03

, the show for ambitious mamas with big

0:05

dreams and little kids . I'm

0:08

your host , Rachel Mae Country Singer , songwriter

0:10

and Mamas of 2 , and I'm so excited

0:12

to be here presenting another installment of

0:15

the momversations series . I created

0:17

this series as a way to have fun and honest

0:19

conversations with mamas at every stage

0:21

of their dream chasing journey , and , through

0:23

a series of questions curated specifically

0:25

momversations these , we'll

0:27

get acquainted with the mamas in this community . We'll

0:30

chat about everything from their biggest ambitions

0:32

to their favorite TV shows and everything

0:34

in between . My intention is to create a space

0:36

for inspiration , connection and

0:38

solidarity for us mamas navigating

0:41

the wild world of motherhood and

0:43

dream chasing . Wherever you are in your

0:45

journey , this series is for you . So

0:47

grab yourself a cup of coffee or your favorite

0:49

beverage of choice and let's momversation a .

0:52

This

0:54

is really exciting . I'm always

0:57

so happy and humbled when I get

0:59

to invite fellow

1:01

podcasters onto my

1:03

show , because I feel a

1:05

real sense of camaraderie and

1:07

connection with podcasters , but especially

1:10

with the mama podcasters . That

1:13

fits the bill here . I would love

1:16

for you to give us a little introduction

1:18

, let our audience know who you are

1:20

and a little bit about what you do

1:22

.

1:23

Yeah , so I'm not great at introductions

1:26

. I'm like that person who's really not

1:28

good at job interviews or explaining

1:30

who I am . But my name is Natalie

1:33

Wilkinson . I live

1:35

in the Central Valley of California

1:37

with my husband , josh , and our

1:39

son Riley . Riley is eight

1:41

years old . He's super feisty , always

1:44

keeping me on my toes . Like you

1:46

said , I'm a podcaster . My podcast

1:48

is called Rad Mom Radio

1:50

and it focuses on mostly like

1:52

topics that moms want to talk

1:55

about , really talking about the

1:57

realness of motherhood and the stuff

1:59

that people don't necessarily always want

2:01

to hear about but needs to be talked

2:03

about . I'm also a community

2:06

leader , so I you

2:08

know , in my city and in

2:10

the Central Valley of California I

2:12

lead a support group for

2:14

moms of autistic

2:16

and neurodivergent children . I

2:18

started that because my son Riley

2:21

is autistic . I'm actually coming up

2:23

on five years of that now , so

2:25

started that five years ago

2:27

, which is kind of trippy when you think

2:29

about it , because , you know , I'm the type

2:31

of person where , like , I don't necessarily

2:34

think about longevity when I start something . I just

2:36

started and I kind of just thought there'd be like

2:38

five moms who would relate

2:40

to each other and understand each other , and

2:42

now it's grown to like over 1500

2:45

moms . So you know

2:47

, that's kind of like what I do . Aside from

2:49

that , I'm a stay at home mom . I

2:52

had at one point like aspirations

2:54

of being a marriage and family therapist

2:56

, but I kind of put that on the back burner

2:58

when Riley was , you know , when he was

3:00

starting to show signs

3:03

of having autism

3:05

or being autistic . I

3:07

kind of couldn't like focus on anything else

3:09

. That really took precedence for me

3:11

, and so I haven't picked that back up

3:13

and I'm not really sure that that's what I want to do

3:15

anymore . So kind of just in this like

3:17

space of not really

3:20

knowing what I want to do , you

3:22

know yeah right now .

3:23

So well , that's really inspiring . I'm

3:25

always just like mind

3:27

blown when I see especially

3:30

mamas and the capacity that we have to

3:32

fill the need where we see it and

3:34

how so often the things that we

3:37

stumble into in our own motherhood

3:39

experience and we realize that we need support

3:41

or community around and we

3:43

maybe there's something that could fill

3:45

that need , but it's not just quite what we need

3:48

how willing mamas

3:50

are to step up and say , okay , I'll

3:52

go first , I'll fill this need . And it sounds

3:54

like that's exactly what you're doing in

3:57

that role of community leader . And how incredible

3:59

that , like you're saying , you thought

4:01

maybe this would be like five mamas and what it's

4:03

turned out to be is like literally

4:06

a whole tribe

4:08

of mamas who are saying , oh

4:10

, me too , like I need support

4:12

and community here . And what an incredible

4:15

thing that you're offering . Because I

4:17

would imagine that it must feel very isolating

4:20

to be navigating that territory and

4:22

so to have that community

4:24

and that connection , to know that you're not alone

4:26

and to know that there is support

4:28

and you don't have to go through that uncharted

4:31

territory all on your own , I

4:33

think that's really amazing . So it

4:35

sounds like you're in alignment with something

4:37

and you're really being called to do here and

4:40

maybe something that you didn't know you were going to be thrust

4:42

into , but that you've stepped

4:44

into . So amazing . Yeah , it's

4:46

been cool . Well , let's jump right into

4:48

our conversation question . So the

4:50

first one is what

4:52

are you currently dreaming of ?

4:55

I would say right now something that I

4:57

think about a lot . I

5:00

don't know if it's going to sound silly

5:02

, but like financial independence . So

5:05

like I think about like the future

5:07

, you know , like coming up on middle age

5:09

. Now I think about like the second half

5:11

of my life , and especially

5:14

like having a child that has like special

5:16

needs . You know , there's no way to predict . Is he going

5:18

to be independent ? Is he going to need assistance

5:20

? So I think about , like

5:22

what are we going to do to

5:25

help secure not just

5:27

secure ourselves financially , but

5:29

also be able to enjoy life , which

5:31

always requires money ? So I would say

5:34

, like my husband likes to play the lottery

5:36

. I'm not that type of person . I

5:38

think I'm too pragmatic , but I think

5:40

I dream about like just being

5:42

very comfortable and not

5:44

having to worry about money . Yeah

5:46

, If that makes any sense .

5:48

Yeah , totally . It's one of those things

5:50

that I know people always say , like money can't

5:53

buy happiness , and maybe that's

5:55

true . But money can buy a sense

5:57

of freedom and not having to make choices

5:59

based on , like , well , how much is this going to cost

6:02

, or having to , like , make all of your decisions

6:04

based on the cost of something , and

6:06

that really impacts quality of life

6:08

. So I totally get that

6:10

and I feel that on the sole level .

6:12

Yeah .

6:13

Awesome . Well , tell us what's the

6:15

moment that you felt proud of yourself .

6:16

I would say a lot of the time when I

6:18

feel proud of myself is just in

6:20

the moments that you know I interact

6:23

with my son . You know something

6:25

that like comes up a lot on my podcast

6:27

, is kind of like this

6:29

generational thing , it seems almost

6:32

where , like this generation of parents

6:34

that we're a part of right now are kind

6:36

of waking up to the fact that we

6:38

were never taught to emotionally regulate

6:41

ourselves . And so you know

6:43

these moments when you're trying to help your child

6:45

regulate which is our job but

6:47

when you sit there and you realize

6:50

I don't know how to teach them how to do

6:52

something I was never taught how to do . And

6:54

so these , these moments

6:57

for me that are really

6:59

kind of and I don't use

7:01

the word lightly but like it

7:03

feels almost miraculous sometimes

7:05

that that I'm able to sit there with my

7:08

son and have empathy and patience

7:10

and compassion for him

7:12

in those moments when that's the opposite

7:15

of what I experienced as a child . So

7:17

I would say , like those are the moments

7:19

that I keep bringing back to the

7:21

front of my memory is like

7:23

you need to be proud of yourself or how

7:25

, how you talk to him , how

7:27

you treat him , how you love him , because

7:30

those moments are so huge . So

7:32

, I would say that's probably for me , like

7:34

what I find a lot of pride in .

7:37

Yeah , that's really powerful and it is

7:39

something that comes up a lot on this podcast

7:41

as well , which I think is really incredible , because

7:43

it is sort of this like uprising

7:45

of like we're not trying to throw shade

7:47

at anyone and we can recognize that like

7:49

all of our parents were doing the best that

7:51

they could do with the programming that they had

7:54

. But now that we are rewiring

7:56

and reprogramming our own minds

7:59

and beliefs and approaching

8:01

our parenting styles in a different

8:03

capacity , it is really inspiring to hear

8:06

how many mommas are navigating

8:08

this and also kind of heartbreaking

8:10

in a way , too , to recognize how many of us

8:12

are also trying to do that

8:14

reprogramming on ourselves and to really

8:17

like figure out in those moments

8:19

too , what can sometimes be so triggering

8:21

for us . You know , we haven't had that

8:23

ability or been taught as children

8:25

how to regulate our own emotions

8:27

, like we carry that into our experience

8:30

of motherhood and how we move

8:32

through situations with our kids

8:34

and things that really trigger us , and so I

8:37

think that is something to be really proud of and something

8:39

to be really compassionate with ourselves , because we're

8:41

navigating this like

8:44

pool of emotions

8:46

both like our child's emotions and

8:48

then our emotions and figuring

8:50

out how to like swim in those waters

8:53

that are kind of choppy . You're absolutely

8:55

right , that is totally something to

8:57

be proud of and I think so often , if

8:59

we really looked at the day and how many times

9:01

we as parents take

9:04

that deep breath and like sit in

9:06

presence with something that our kid is going

9:08

through , we would be really proud if we

9:10

had that zoomed out overview . But we kind

9:12

of just are in the hustle of like go , go , go

9:14

. We've got so many things that we're trying to do as

9:16

mommas that we don't often stop to look

9:18

back and be like , wow , I actually

9:20

did a very good job as

9:22

a parent today to my

9:25

child , especially with everything

9:27

that I have on board myself that I'm trying

9:29

to work through . So I love that and I

9:31

love that you brought that into the context

9:33

as the thing that you're proud of , because I

9:35

think that's something we could all stand

9:38

to like see in ourselves as well

9:40

. So I love that you're role-modeling that for us here

9:42

.

9:42

Yeah , it's hard , and those triggers are

9:44

hard because it's not just triggering

9:46

, like I believe that our kids trigger

9:48

us in a lot of different ways . They

9:50

trigger our sensory system you

9:53

know , things are too loud or like all

9:55

that stuff they also trigger , like our

9:57

inner child , a lot , like

9:59

when your child is acting in

10:01

a certain way , it takes you back

10:04

to your own childhood and if there's

10:06

anything there that's still wounded

10:09

, which I think there is for all of us like

10:11

they're going to activate that . And so

10:13

it's a lot , when you think about it , to sit

10:15

in a space and to be experiencing

10:18

all these things on all these different levels

10:20

at the same time . Like it's no wonder

10:22

that we struggle not to react

10:25

, you know , not to yell , not to

10:27

, whatever the case may be . So it's a lot

10:29

, it's a lot of pressure and I

10:31

think we have to like be nicer

10:33

to ourselves about all of that

10:35

.

10:35

Yeah , I agree , totally agree .

10:37

Yeah .

10:38

So what would you say is your biggest

10:40

challenge right now ?

10:41

So my biggest challenge kind of relates

10:44

to the last question about what are you proud

10:46

of is not beating

10:48

myself up for the ways that

10:50

I wish I was a better mom . You

10:52

know , like there's certain ways

10:54

that I wish I was better

10:56

at being a mom that are just so

10:59

hard for me , Like it's like

11:01

if you think about seasonal things , like when holidays

11:04

come up , or like when summertime comes

11:06

up , and it's like in my mind

11:08

and in my heart I want to be that mom

11:10

that does all the things like let's make

11:12

fresh , like natural watermelon popsicles

11:15

and you know . Let's like build a pool

11:17

in the backyard and let's like do all these

11:19

fun summer things . And then when winter comes

11:21

, like let's have the cutest house in

11:24

the neighborhood and let's do you know what I mean

11:26

Like let's do the cute , like family pictures

11:28

at the pumpkin patch . But those

11:31

are the things I struggle with so much

11:33

, you know , to accomplish

11:35

, and those are the things I beat myself

11:37

up a lot about not accomplishing

11:40

. Doing those things it's not

11:42

my strong suit and I'm

11:44

trying to learn to be nicer

11:46

to myself about that .

11:48

Yeah , it's an interesting experience

11:51

of motherhood in this era , right

11:53

? Because I feel like so much of that is

11:55

really like we see it around

11:57

us and we feel like , ooh , that is what

11:59

it means to be a mom , like I have to do

12:02

these things and I have to be this version

12:04

of what we see as like mom , when in

12:06

reality , what you just said about

12:08

you are doing this work internally

12:11

so that you can show up and be

12:14

a present mom for your

12:16

child and have

12:18

your emotions regulated , so you can help

12:20

your child regulate their emotions

12:23

. You're winning at it Like

12:25

that is more valuable

12:27

and more long lasting and impactful

12:30

than any like cute decorations

12:32

or watermelon popsicles you could

12:34

ever make , but it is . There's like

12:37

ongoing pressure to be all

12:39

the things and to do all of that at the same

12:41

time , like be doing all of this

12:43

like reprogramming and then also

12:45

be like creating this , like Pinterest

12:47

worthy life , and it's like the reality

12:49

is we're human and

12:52

like our lives are happening

12:54

in real time and your

12:56

capacity or ability to not do those

12:58

things that's not what defines you as

13:00

a parent and I think it's human

13:03

to feel sort of a longing for that . I can definitely

13:05

think of moments in my own experience of

13:07

motherhood to feel like , for example , when I was

13:09

pregnant , I felt like I am the

13:11

worst , like I didn't take hardly any bump pictures

13:14

, like I didn't get like professional

13:16

maternity photos . And then you see mama's

13:18

doing that and that's great , like I'm so

13:20

happy that they're doing that because it's aligned

13:23

and it works for them . But why do I

13:25

have to turn that internal and make

13:27

it like something like I'm not enough or I'm not

13:29

doing enough ? The reality was like I

13:31

felt awful for

13:33

a big portion of my pregnancies

13:36

and I just didn't feel like getting

13:38

my bump pictures taken , like it didn't

13:40

mean that I didn't , the experience didn't

13:42

still happen and that I love my

13:45

experience of pregnancy , but like

13:47

there was a real sort of internal

13:49

criticism about that . So I think that's

13:51

something very specific to

13:53

our generation of mamas too

13:56

. I'm sure like every generation has

13:58

had their version of that . But if you think

14:00

there's a lot of pressure , especially with social

14:02

media , you see everything and it's just

14:04

blasted in your face . Yeah , that's challenging

14:06

for sure , but I love yourself . Awareness

14:08

and just recognizing , like , what

14:11

you have the capacity to do . Not to

14:13

ramble on here , but I want to say too , like maybe

14:15

you're not making the watermelon popsicles , but

14:17

you're literally creating this like incredible

14:20

support of community for mamas to

14:22

come together and find support in an experience

14:24

of motherhood that they're having . And you're podcasting

14:27

. Like the things you're doing are pretty freaking

14:29

incredible . So I just want to like

14:31

reflect that back to you and say that you're

14:33

doing some pretty phenomenal stuff

14:36

that is impactful and the ripple

14:38

effects of that you may never see , but

14:40

those ripple effects could very well

14:42

be and I believe are likely

14:45

life changing to the people that you are

14:47

reaching .

14:48

So , yeah , let's celebrate that . Thank you

14:50

, you made me emotional . I

14:52

need to hear stuff like that sometimes , so

14:54

I appreciate that . Yeah , didn't mean

14:56

to make you cry , but no , it's just sometimes , like , you

14:59

know , you walk around with your head in

15:01

the clouds and you're not thinking about stuff and it's

15:03

like , yeah , to hear someone else's perspective

15:05

is helpful , because it's like , yeah , I

15:07

do do that , so like

15:09

I didn't make the popsicles , but I do

15:11

that . That's pretty good , you know , it's not

15:13

bad .

15:14

That's right . We can't always see it for ourselves

15:16

, right . We can see what everyone else is doing

15:18

or the version of whatever what we think everyone

15:20

else is doing , but it's really hard to see

15:23

. We're so close to our own experience . It's

15:25

really hard to see sometimes what

15:27

you're actually creating in the world . So

15:29

tell us , what would your perfect ?

15:31

day be . So the first thing

15:33

that I thought about when I saw that question

15:35

was like a nap , like

15:37

the first thing that came to my mind was a nap . I

15:39

really have been enjoying napping , yeah

15:41

, but like a specific kind

15:44

of nap . So have you seen

15:46

that meme where it's like a person and

15:48

it almost looks like they're laying in a big white

15:50

fluffy cloud , but it's like a comforter

15:52

and it's talking about how they have the air conditioning

15:55

on and the fan at the same time ? That sounds

15:57

dreamy . Yeah , that's like the perfect nap

15:59

is like it's cold but you've got a big fluffy

16:02

blanket . So for me there definitely

16:04

be like that kind of nap involved

16:06

. I would say like getting to sleep in

16:09

, not having to do anything

16:11

for anybody but myself would be , awesome

16:13

and honestly , that's

16:15

like . That sounds pretty good to me , like

16:17

just not having to do anything for anybody

16:19

and have to cook anything for anybody . You

16:22

don't have to like help anybody , do

16:24

anything . No expectations , nothing

16:26

, yeah .

16:28

It's so funny how these , like I imagine

16:30

, the answer to these questions before having

16:32

children would be so different

16:34

, so different as they should be . But like

16:37

this question and some of these questions

16:39

always evoke this like there it's such a

16:41

through line of like mama's wanting to be , like I

16:44

kind of just want to be left alone for the day

16:46

, like I love my family , I love my kids

16:48

with all that I have , but also

16:51

like I'm tired , I want sleep and

16:53

I don't want to have to lift a finger

16:55

for anyone else . I mean it's service of anyone

16:57

else and even better , like have somebody like

16:59

bringing the food and stuff to me

17:01

so that I just like , really

17:04

just like veg out . Yeah

17:07

, it's , it's a very shared

17:09

experience of motherhood . I think

17:11

so .

17:12

Yeah , it's very simple , but it never

17:15

happens Like . I can't think of the last

17:17

time I had a whole day or I didn't

17:19

have to do anything for anybody .

17:22

No , I don't know that .

17:22

That's a thing you know .

17:24

Yeah , okay . Well , do you

17:26

have a power song , a song that can

17:28

just sort of like bring your energy up

17:31

when you really need a boost ?

17:33

That one was a hard one because , like , I

17:35

overthought it a lot . What is a power

17:37

song I really like

17:39

? And I think this has to do with like a sensory

17:42

thing , but I really like music that I

17:44

feel like it's almost like the electronic

17:46

dance music which makes

17:48

me sound so I don't know . It sounds silly

17:50

to me because I didn't really know that was

17:52

a thing . And then I remember when

17:55

I used to work I was listening to a playlist

17:57

and they're like oh wow , you really like that EDM

17:59

stuff , don't you ? And I was like , well , I don't even know what that means , but

18:02

music that's very like gets

18:04

into your sensory system . Like

18:06

there's a lot of like bass

18:09

. So like I really like is it Florence

18:11

and the Machine . They have some songs

18:13

that I feel like really get your energy

18:15

going , like she Wolf is

18:18

one , and then there's a couple others

18:20

, but I don't know that I have like a specific

18:22

one that's like a go to yeah

18:25

, it's hard to pick , just one Sometimes you need

18:27

, like it's a series of

18:29

songs or just sort of like an energy or a

18:31

vibe of music that can sort of bring

18:33

you out . Yeah .

18:34

I think music is such a powerful . Obviously

18:36

I'm biased as a musician , but I think music

18:38

is such a powerful tool

18:41

when we're feeling like overwhelmed

18:44

or overloaded , Like it can really serve

18:46

as sort of a reset button if you've got the right

18:48

song or playlist to just sort

18:50

of shake things up . I think it's

18:52

. It's pretty incredible .

18:54

Well , I actually have one of your songs on

18:56

one of my playlists now because because

18:59

I liked it on Spotify and so

19:01

I was listening to my like songs the

19:03

other day and then I get this like country

19:05

twang in my ear and I was

19:07

like what ? Oh yeah , that's Rachel , awesome

19:10

. I forgot what it's like . It's like why you don't

19:12

call , or you don't call . Wonder why you don't call , oh man .

19:15

Oh yeah , it's cute . I don't really

19:18

listen to a lot of .

19:19

I don't really listen to a lot of country , but I

19:21

like . I like your voice . Thank you

19:23

, that's enjoy your voice .

19:24

Yeah , oh , my gosh , I love that I'm your . Like

19:27

one twangy song on your playlist

19:29

.

19:29

Yeah , you're my one country song on my playlist yeah

19:31

, awesome , well , okay

19:33

.

19:33

So this one kind of goes hand in hand with

19:35

the power song . But do you have a mantra

19:38

or a motto , something that you say to kind of

19:40

ground yourself ?

19:41

I would say like one of my most core beliefs

19:44

in life , or philosophies

19:46

, is that as human beings

19:49

, we are here on earth to

19:51

take care of each other , and

19:54

I very much like remind myself

19:56

about that all the time . It doesn't

19:58

matter , like if you like someone

20:01

, if you relate to them , if you see

20:03

someone struggling or in need , like we

20:05

are here to take care of each other and I ultimately

20:08

believe that every human deserves respect

20:11

, love , kindness and

20:13

just . That's always at the forefront of

20:15

my mind . It's like one of my most guiding

20:17

, I guess , principles in life .

20:19

It's powerful . That's definitely

20:21

apparent in the work that you're doing and

20:24

in you know what you're creating and cultivating

20:26

within your life . It's obvious that that's like one

20:28

of your core values . So I like that that's

20:30

powerful , yeah . So what's

20:33

your go to indulgence Television

20:36

?

20:38

TV , reality TV , especially

20:40

nowadays . Yeah

20:42

, I'm really trying to learn to not

20:44

be embarrassed that I love

20:46

reality TV . So I feel like it

20:48

has this negative , like people

20:51

think if you like reality TV , then you like drama

20:53

. But I don't like drama . I like to

20:55

watch other people's drama

20:58

, but not if , like , not if

21:00

it's hurting them and not real

21:02

people . I know in real life I'm not sitting there eating

21:04

popcorn and watching people fight , but like . But

21:07

on TV it's just like it's this thing that

21:09

helps you to kind of zone out , and I've

21:12

always like my whole life but I'm someone

21:14

who is like the listener

21:16

, the person who's always helping

21:18

people , the soft you know

21:20

shoulder to cry on , and so I think it's

21:22

just like one of these things for me where it just

21:24

helps me check out yeah , so

21:27

yeah , definitely reality TV .

21:29

I love that . Well , we're reality TV fans around

21:31

here .

21:31

I watch .

21:32

I watch reality TV . Yeah

21:34

, I love me some reality TV

21:36

and I think , yeah , you're right , it's the like I

21:39

like to yeah watch

21:41

the drama of those shows

21:43

and not have that drama playing out

21:45

in my own life .

21:46

Yeah .

21:46

It's like . It is just kind of like you can just sort

21:48

of turn off those parts of your brain

21:51

that want to try to solve or fix things

21:53

, or it's a weird kind of like

21:55

soothing . I feel like in so

21:57

many of these conversations that something

21:59

that comes up Maybe it's another

22:01

part of that like collective experiences

22:03

, mamas , that we are doing

22:06

so much and we're doing all this deep

22:08

work too . Right , like what we talked about in the first half

22:10

of this conversation . We're talking about like

22:12

regulating emotions and reprogramming

22:14

our mind , inner child , and doing all

22:16

of these things . It's like that's

22:18

incredible and that's the work to do , but

22:20

it's also very heavy work . So

22:23

sometimes you need to just sort of like flip

22:25

those switches off and let yourself just

22:27

kind of have that guilty

22:29

pleasure . So this is perfect , because

22:32

that's . The next question on the list is what's your

22:34

guilty pleasure ? Tv show . So it

22:37

could be reality or not , but what's your

22:39

like ? Go to guilty pleasure or not ? So

22:41

guilty pleasure TV show .

22:43

Yeah , so recently , like the

22:45

most recent one for me , but now I'm

22:47

not watching it because it's in between seasons

22:50

. But Vanderpump rules , do

22:52

you watch that one ? I have not watched it . Oh

22:54

my gosh .

22:54

I feel like there were a million memes

22:56

going around that I didn't understand , because I have

22:58

not been . I have

23:00

not watched it yet . So tell me , tell me

23:02

more .

23:03

Well , the reason I started watching it was

23:05

because of one of my podcast guests . She

23:07

likes to watch Bravo reality

23:09

TV . So I was like what's your favorite ? And she said

23:12

Vanderpump rules . And I remember

23:14

you know Lisa Vanderpump because

23:17

she's she used to be on Real Housewives

23:19

of Beverly .

23:20

Hills .

23:20

I was like OK , I know the show , but it just never

23:23

seemed like my thing . Yeah , so I didn't

23:25

have anything to watch . So I started watching

23:27

it and I got just so hooked on

23:29

it , like it's just , if you like

23:31

like those reality like Real

23:33

Housewives or whatever , you'd probably

23:36

like it . Yeah , but those memes

23:38

came about because , like the long

23:40

term characters on there , there was like this

23:42

big cheating scandal . Yeah , so

23:44

that one like really sucked me in

23:46

and now that it's over I've

23:49

been watching like I

23:51

caught up on Yellowstone . I

23:53

don't know if you've seen that one .

23:55

That yet either . That's that's come up quite a bit

23:57

in my mom versations recently too . I feel

23:59

like I need to check that out .

24:00

You know it's interesting because , like I again

24:02

, I've never been like super into like Westerns

24:05

or anything like that , but it's really

24:07

good . It's like a , if you like

24:09

, like family dynamic

24:11

dramas . Yeah , that

24:13

one's a really good one . And then what's really

24:16

cool is they then went on to make like

24:18

prequels for it . Ok , so

24:20

they go back to like 1883 . They

24:22

have a prequel , like leading up to

24:24

like the history of that family

24:27

, and then they have like 1923

24:30

, I think , which I haven't watched

24:32

yet , but it's really . They're really good

24:34

, really good show .

24:35

Ok , yeah , nice , I need to put these on my

24:37

list .

24:38

Oh yeah .

24:38

OK , well , so this

24:40

is always like the weird pivot from , like the

24:43

deep and like emotional

24:45

next question after guilty pleasure TV

24:47

show . But what's something that you wish someone had

24:50

told you about motherhood

24:52

before becoming a mama ?

24:53

I would say you don't have

24:55

to be a perfect mom to be a good mom

24:58

.

24:58

Oh , amen yeah .

24:59

I think we really get lost in this

25:01

. What is a good mom ? Yeah , and

25:04

also like that's not the same thing every

25:06

day . Like some days you're like a good

25:08

enough mom yeah , some days you're

25:10

a kick ass mom , and

25:12

some days you're just mediocre . Like

25:14

some days you're like you're OK , but it's like it's not

25:16

the same thing every day . And going back

25:18

to kind of like the watermelon popsicles

25:21

and the summer activities and the

25:23

cute family pictures , like those things

25:25

don't make you a perfect mom . You know those

25:28

things are a skill set that have nothing

25:30

to do with motherhood . It's like it's like

25:32

being good at hosting people in your home . Right

25:34

, it's a skill . Some people are just skilled at

25:36

that . Some of us are not good at that stuff . It

25:38

has nothing to do with the quality of

25:40

you that you possess

25:42

as a mother . So I think would

25:45

have been great to have been . I guess

25:47

, role modeled Like this is what a good

25:49

mom is , because you can do all those really family

25:51

fancy things and not necessarily

25:53

be a good mom . So what does it really

25:55

mean to be a good mom and you don't have to be perfect

25:58

to be a good mom .

26:00

Yeah , and perfect is such an illusion , right

26:02

? Even the things we see online

26:04

, like I feel like , especially as I entered motherhood

26:06

, that was something I really had to like , undo

26:09

in my mind of like , just because I'm seeing

26:11

these things reflected on social

26:13

media or wherever I'm seeing them , does not

26:16

mean that that is the reality all

26:18

the time . Like you're seeing a snapshot or

26:20

a moment in time . What you see isn't

26:23

always the full picture , and

26:25

perfect is like such an illusion

26:27

because even if you do

26:29

achieve perfection in a moment , it's

26:31

a moment , it's fleeting , like that's not

26:34

reality and it doesn't exist . You

26:36

don't have to be perfect to be

26:39

a good or great mom . Yeah , you can

26:41

have moments that you're like wow , that felt , like it went

26:43

really well and I'm proud of myself for moments

26:45

where you're like OK , like today was hard

26:47

and I'm still a good mom . Like maybe

26:50

even those days are the ones that define us even

26:52

more , the ones that are really gritty and hard

26:54

and we feel like we come out and we're just frazzled

26:56

and everything was like a

26:58

challenge , but you survived the day

27:00

, like sometimes those things

27:03

are the real defining moments

27:05

, I think , in our lives . So I like

27:07

that , that's a good one . So

27:10

Is there somebody like

27:12

a go-to influencer or

27:14

somebody that you are really inspired

27:17

by ? It could be like a blogger or a podcaster

27:19

, or I really like

27:21

Tabitha Brown .

27:23

Her thing is I am Tabitha Brown . I

27:25

think she really blew up when the pandemic started

27:28

around that time . Then there's another lady

27:30

I really like . It's Flora DeLise

27:33

Speaks . She writes

27:35

these really beautiful quotes . A

27:37

lot of her pictures are like her writing

27:39

. They're usually things that are

27:41

encouraging or uplifting

27:44

really nice reminders

27:46

. I would say those two . Then

27:48

I always like funny people . I don't know

27:50

. There's this

27:52

guy on Calvin Grimes . He'll

27:54

go up to people in the grocery store and

27:56

mess with them . He'll pretend

27:58

that his blood sugar is low and get them to

28:00

feed him grapes . It sounds silly but

28:02

it's so funny . I always like funny

28:05

things . I like to watch people cook , cook

28:07

things that I'm never going to cook . Stuff

28:09

like that , yeah

28:11

. But those two ladies I really

28:14

love just their encouragement

28:16

and their wisdom . Those are really good accounts

28:18

.

28:19

Awesome , I have to check them out . Is

28:21

there a favorite product or resource

28:23

that you think has made mom

28:26

life easier ?

28:27

I would say definitely my group

28:29

that I started just because

28:31

there's so much that

28:33

I don't know about being a

28:35

mom and there's moms in there who

28:38

are still caring for adult

28:40

children , so kids that are in their 20s

28:43

. It's really comforting

28:45

to me to know that when Riley goes

28:47

through puberty and when he's a teenager

28:50

and all those things , I'll have moms I can

28:52

go to and talk to that have

28:54

been through it and will understand . There's

28:56

some stuff about raising boys

28:58

that it's a little awkward

29:00

and it's going to become awkward and

29:02

not going to understand how to navigate

29:05

it , Knowing that there will be moms that

29:07

I can be like hey , what the heck is this ? Can

29:09

you please help me ? That's

29:12

probably my biggest resource

29:15

. That's helped me Great .

29:17

I love that this is something that you

29:19

are fostering and creating and that the

29:22

things that we do , that we put out in the world

29:24

, that are serving others , and then internally

29:26

, that come back and feed us in the same

29:28

way . I love that . I love that

29:30

you have generations of mommas in there who have

29:33

all different stages . That is such

29:35

a powerful thing to be able to support

29:37

and draw upon each other's experience

29:40

and help one another navigate

29:42

things . Obviously , all of our experiences

29:45

are going to be our own and they're

29:47

going to be unique , but it's really really

29:49

helpful to have somewhere

29:51

where you can turn that feels like a safe space

29:53

to be like hey , uncharted

29:56

territory here , help me out . How

29:58

cool that you've got that support , waiting

30:01

in the wings when you need it and as

30:03

you need it . It's really cool .

30:05

That's why it kills me when moms argue with each other online

30:07

, like when moms judge each other and put

30:09

each other down , because it's like so many of us

30:12

don't have mother figures to go

30:14

to , so many of us don't

30:16

have support , and it's like

30:18

you should be looking at . I don't like to

30:20

tell people what they should be doing , but I'm going to right

30:22

now . You should be looking at

30:24

other moms as , like your

30:26

sisters , I may need you at

30:29

some point , because we need each other

30:31

. We need each other now and we're going to need

30:33

each other in the future , because motherhood

30:35

is such a unique , singular

30:38

experience that nobody else understands

30:41

except for other moms . So we have

30:43

to be nicer to each other .

30:46

Yeah , so good . Okay , well

30:48

, tell me what's something you're obsessed with

30:50

.

30:52

I mean kind of like some of the standard things

30:54

like coffee . Coffee is always on my

30:56

mind caffeine , iced coffee

30:58

and I'm a very indecisive

31:01

person , so like I spend my drives

31:03

to the coffee place going

31:05

back and forth Like what am I going to get ? How

31:08

caffeinated do I want to be ? Do

31:10

I want it iced ? Do I want it

31:12

blended ? I almost never

31:14

order hot coffee because here

31:16

it's like it's hot more than half

31:18

a year . It's hot a lot of the time

31:20

. But yeah , I would say coffee

31:23

is a big one for me . Yeah

31:25

, I feel like that's like the central

31:27

one .

31:27

Amazing . What's your dream

31:30

vacation Like ? If you could go anywhere , where

31:32

would you go ?

31:33

I like I've been fortunate enough to

31:35

like get to travel to some different places

31:37

, like my dad's from Italy , all

31:40

his families in Italy have gotten to go to like

31:42

Europe and Asia . So

31:44

, like for me , my dream vacation

31:46

is Hawaii . I feel like that's somewhere

31:48

that , like , a lot of people have been , but like

31:51

I would really like to see Hawaii . I

31:53

don't know what area , because I

31:55

know there's a lot of places you can go to , but

31:58

yeah , that's for me , that's

32:00

where I would put my money down on

32:03

a vacation Awesome .

32:05

Okay , well , fill in the blank .

32:07

I feel most like myself when I'm I

32:10

feel most like myself when I'm at home

32:12

. I would say , okay , yeah , I

32:16

feel most like I can be me

32:18

and not really have to worry about being

32:20

embarrassed or anything like that

32:22

.

32:22

I love it . So what is your current

32:24

ambitious goal ?

32:26

My current ambitious goal , I

32:28

would say , is to like start a

32:30

new career . Like retirement age

32:32

is still way , way far away . So

32:34

I feel like that'd be really great to like

32:37

have some kind of career , invest

32:39

in my family financially . There

32:41

is part of my brain that's like are you

32:43

too old ? And that's so silly , because

32:45

if someone my age asked me , are you , am I

32:47

too old ? I'd be like what are you talking about

32:50

? Not old , what are you talking about

32:52

? Your brain's alive and going , probably

32:54

too much , and so you're going to be

32:57

fine . So , yeah , that's , that's probably

32:59

my thing . So I'd like to find something to do

33:01

.

33:01

Yeah , It'll be interesting to watch and see

33:03

how that unfolds for you . You have

33:05

to keep us posted . Yeah , okay . So

33:08

, guys , what are you known for ?

33:11

I would say I'm probably like

33:13

somewhat known for , you

33:15

know , running the group that I run . I

33:17

feel like a lot of times people reference

33:20

me that way , like link me

33:22

to that .

33:23

Is that a bizarre experience for you , like I know this

33:25

group feeds your soul and that you love

33:27

that , but I know this is also like you

33:29

didn't anticipate that this was going to be

33:32

a path that you would go down . Has that

33:34

been like a bizarre experience for you to be

33:36

so intertwined and linked to

33:38

something that has become as big

33:40

as it has ? That you didn't anticipate

33:42

?

33:42

Yeah , it is kind of weird sometimes , like

33:44

I'll get on Facebook and find that I'm tagged

33:46

somewhere , like oh you should join Natalie's

33:48

group . What I do love , though , is

33:50

that the moms in the group are so supportive

33:53

that I don't feel

33:55

like I'm expected to have all the answers

33:57

. Yeah , because I don't I

33:59

really don't and because

34:01

everyone's journey with

34:04

something like having an autistic kid

34:06

is so different Like the things that you do

34:08

, the systems that you interact

34:11

with , the different like in the school

34:13

system , different things you have to do for

34:15

your kid are so different that there's so

34:17

many answers I don't have . But

34:20

the moms in the group , somebody will have

34:22

it and so I really love that

34:24

because I feel like I

34:26

get to be what I'm good

34:28

at , which is I am a good

34:31

connection , like I'm a good bridge

34:33

. I like to be the person that

34:35

helps someone get the answers

34:38

or the help they need . So like , if

34:40

you're in a place where you feel stuck , confused

34:42

, alone , I will totally hold

34:44

your hand and help you get

34:47

to the person who is going

34:49

to help you figure this out . Like I like to

34:51

be that person and I will not let

34:53

you go until you're good

34:55

, and then I don't have to have all the answers , like

34:57

I don't have to know all the things . So

35:00

yeah , it is kind of weird , but I

35:02

also appreciate that I don't have to

35:04

be everything for everybody , because

35:06

I don't have the capacity , unfortunately

35:09

. I mean nobody does .

35:12

So what's something most folks don't know about

35:14

you ?

35:15

I am an incredibly stubborn

35:18

person . Incredibly stubborn

35:20

I had to develop like

35:22

as a kid , because I grew up in a pretty

35:25

, like , chaotic household . I had to

35:27

develop this sense of calm

35:29

. I had to be everybody's sense of calm , and

35:31

so what that looks like on the outside

35:34

is just this very calm person

35:36

who's not bothered

35:38

, who can handle a crisis and

35:40

I can . I can handle other people's crisis

35:42

. My own it's harder . I have

35:45

a lot of anxiety . I have a lot of fear

35:47

around things that I'm emotionally

35:49

connected to myself , my son

35:52

, my husband , things that are outside

35:54

of my control . But it doesn't look

35:56

like that on the outside . So I

35:58

just look very calm and

36:00

so people see that , but what's

36:02

really underneath , too , is

36:04

just this incredibly stubborn

36:07

, feisty , like I really

36:09

had to learn how to be quiet and polite

36:11

and seen and not heard as a kid

36:13

. But I am so stubborn Like

36:16

so many of the things that I've accomplished

36:18

in my life are because you can't tell

36:20

me I can't do something . You know what

36:22

I mean .

36:23

That watch me . Energy is powerful . Oh yeah

36:25

, oh yeah .

36:26

Yeah , I mean the best . Actually

36:28

, if you want to get me to do something , tell

36:30

me that I can't . And I'm going to do it

36:32

just to , not just to show you , but

36:35

just to , like , make it clear , like

36:37

, yes , I can . And most people

36:39

just don't see that because it's not really

36:41

, it's not an external thing for me

36:43

. It's very much like , like you

36:45

know , it's like you're opening a pickle jar . My husband

36:47

will be standing there . I'm struggling . Do you need help

36:50

? No , I

36:52

don't need help . I'm trying to learn

36:54

how to accept the help , but I

36:56

don't want you to help me . I want to

36:58

, you know , break my fingers to

37:00

get this thing open . So , yeah

37:02

, I have . I have a really huge stubborn

37:05

streak .

37:06

Yeah , I can relate to that .

37:07

It's just this like not wanting to admit that you need

37:10

anybody's help with stuff .

37:12

Well , like if you're saying like this kind of goes back

37:14

to that inner child stuff that we touched on

37:16

a little bit earlier that if you're talking about

37:18

when your experience as a child

37:20

is that you need to be like the calm

37:22

, capable , handle everything

37:24

person , it's really asking

37:28

for help , is kind of rocking the boat , or like

37:30

if there's already a chaotic situation and you're

37:32

going to ask for help , there's a chance

37:34

that you may be contributing to the chaos

37:36

or asking or adding pressure . So

37:38

there's some through lines there of

37:40

where we carry those things into our adulthood

37:43

. Yeah , okay , so

37:45

fill in the blank . I do

37:48

blank , so my kids

37:50

blank .

37:51

I would say I go to therapy

37:53

so that my child can

37:56

have a healthy mom .

37:57

Yeah , yeah , that's powerful and that's

37:59

like kind of full circle . You've

38:02

talked a lot about these different touch points of

38:04

our own motherhood experience and how we're

38:06

doing the work on ourselves so

38:08

that the work looks different for our children

38:10

, cause , like right , they're still going to have their own work

38:12

to do because they're humans , they're having

38:14

a human experience , but the

38:16

work is going to look different for them because of

38:18

what we're choosing to do .

38:20

I hope so . Yeah , I really hope so .

38:22

Okay , so this

38:24

next one . I think I kind of know the answer , based

38:27

on your obsession . But what fills your cup , both

38:29

literally and figuratively ?

38:31

So I think , like , as an introvert

38:34

, time alone definitely fills

38:36

my cup . I definitely have to have time

38:38

by myself . If you think about

38:40

like love languages , words

38:43

of affirmation are huge for me

38:45

. So I have this thing

38:47

I don't know why , where like I

38:49

will forget how people feel about

38:51

me if I don't hear about

38:53

it once in a while . So the

38:56

words of affirmation are like important

38:58

because I don't make assumptions about like

39:00

how people feel about me or like how

39:02

I impact people . So , like I

39:04

do like super appreciate

39:06

hearing and I make a

39:09

point to always tell people like

39:11

what I see in them , what I appreciate

39:13

about them , I think because that's

39:15

so impactful for me on the other

39:17

side , of it so . I would say yeah

39:19

.

39:20

That's very true , even as you were saying that I was

39:22

just thinking about , like some of the exchanges

39:24

that you and I like , this is the first time we're seeing

39:26

each other face to face , but we've had many exchanges

39:28

on Instagram and I was just thinking

39:31

, as you were saying that , of some of the really super

39:33

kind and generous things that

39:35

you've said via DM or in comments

39:37

on Instagram , like you definitely

39:40

embody that .

39:42

So I see that in you .

39:44

Yeah .

39:45

Yeah , I feel like we don't get a lot of time

39:47

here and we don't often stop

39:49

and tell people like this is why I think you're

39:51

special , and it's uncomfortable

39:53

sometimes to tell people like , hey

39:55

, I just think all these great things about

39:57

you and this is what they are , sometimes

40:00

, like people don't we're not all the same at receiving

40:02

, like it's hard to receive . Sometimes

40:05

you're like what that challenges every

40:07

like take the place in my head about

40:09

who I am and what my value

40:11

is , and I'm not . I

40:13

don't want to sound morbid , but like when I'm not here

40:16

anymore , you know I want to have

40:18

left behind things like that . I want

40:20

people to know , like how I felt about them

40:22

, what I saw in them , what I thought was

40:24

special . So I do try to like make it

40:26

a point to say those things out loud

40:28

. I love that .

40:29

And I don't think it's morbid at all . I think we never know

40:31

either when the chance is going to be taken

40:33

away . So , it's like speak now

40:35

what needs to be said , because you don't know that

40:37

you will get the chance to say it another

40:40

day . So I think that's . I

40:42

think it's powerful and important

40:45

to remember . So , yeah , oh

40:47

, my gosh . Well , this has been so much fun

40:50

. I will link to everything that we talked about

40:52

and mentioned in

40:54

our conversation in the show description so everybody

40:56

can easily find it and connect with you

40:58

. But I just want to say again

41:00

how grateful I am that you

41:03

signed up to come and hang out with me here

41:05

, because it really it's one thing to connect

41:07

on social platforms , it's another thing to

41:09

like have a more in-depth conversation

41:12

, and I just love , as podcasters , that we

41:14

get to share this conversation now with

41:16

the other mamas in the community , and it's

41:18

been really , really fun and I'm so

41:20

happy that social media crossed

41:23

our paths in this way .

41:25

I really enjoyed getting to chat with you too

41:27

, and actually the only reason I signed

41:29

up because I wanted to like hang out with you

41:31

. I don't really do podcasts , so I was like

41:33

I just want to kind of like hang out with Rachel for a

41:35

little bit , because I really enjoyed getting to know you

41:37

online . But

41:40

yeah , thank you so much for having me on .

41:43

That's it for today's episode , but if you're loving

41:46

this series and you want to join me for a conversation

41:48

, follow the link in the show description to submit

41:50

the guest form and let's chat , and if you want

41:52

to continue the conversation with me over on Instagram

41:55

, I'd love to connect with you there . You can find

41:57

me at Mama's Cup of Ambition . I want to

41:59

extend a special thanks to today's guests for

42:01

bringing the energy and the good vibes to this podcast

42:04

party , and a great , big , heartfelt thanks

42:06

to you as well . This show exists

42:08

because you tune in , and I really can't tell

42:10

you how much your support means to me . And

42:12

, last but not least , if you got something out of today's

42:15

episode , it would mean so much

42:17

to me if you would take a moment to leave the show

42:19

a rating and review . Or , if reviews aren't

42:21

really your thing , consider sharing the show with

42:23

a friend who you think might take value from it

42:25

. Those are both great ways to support the podcast

42:27

and keep it going and growing . Plus , it

42:30

just seriously fills my cup . So thank

42:32

you . Okay , so until next time , make

42:34

your dreams be ambitious , and may your

42:36

coffee be strong . I'll talk to you soon

42:38

.