0:01

Hey , I'm Rachel Mae , Country Singer , songwriter

0:03

and host of Mamas Cup of Ambition

0:06

, the podcast for ambitious mamas

0:08

with big dreams and little kids . Or

0:10

maybe your kids aren't so little anymore , but

0:12

your dreams are still just as big

0:14

as ever . Wherever you find yourself in

0:16

your motherhood journey , if you've got ambitious

0:18

goals that you're longing to achieve and you're

0:20

looking to spark inspiration , cultivate

0:22

motivation and develop community with

0:24

like-minded mamas , you're in the right place

0:27

. As a new mama myself , I created

0:29

this show as a place for honest and empowering

0:31

conversations about motherhood , entrepreneurship

0:34

and dream chasing . So grab a notebook

0:37

, top off that cup of coffee and let's

0:39

turn our goals into action plans and

0:41

our dreams into reality together . Now

0:43

let's jump in to today's episode . Hello

0:46

, hello and welcome to Mamas Cup of

0:48

Ambition . I'm here today with a

0:51

solo episode . Actually , and

0:53

honestly , I've had the privilege of being joined

0:56

by so many incredible mamas lately on the

0:58

show and all of those

1:00

conversations have just filled my cup

1:02

no pun intended , although slightly

1:04

intended with so

1:06

much joy and so much inspiration

1:09

, but I know it's been a minute

1:11

since I've hopped on here on

1:13

my own . So anyway , at

1:15

the time that this episode is airing

1:17

, we are quickly approaching

1:19

the end of the year and I've

1:22

been spending a lot of time lately

1:24

reflecting on what

1:26

has been unfolding in my life over the past

1:29

year and it's safe to say

1:31

that this podcast has

1:33

been a really big part of

1:36

how I've spent my time . Like

1:38

I really doubled down my efforts

1:40

on this show and I feel

1:42

like it pushed me and challenged

1:44

me in so many ways . And

1:46

it's really wild looking back over the

1:49

journey at just how much I've

1:51

crone and changed in the process

1:53

and really like how much I've learned

1:55

. I've learned so much in doing this

1:58

show . So , through

2:00

all of that reflection , I also

2:02

did some projection and I allowed

2:04

myself the opportunity to explore

2:07

what's next and what

2:10

I really want moving forward . And

2:13

this podcast it started out of

2:16

my desire to reconnect

2:18

with myself and my dreams

2:20

after becoming a mama and

2:22

to find community with other mamas

2:25

who were in the same boat and

2:27

in so many ways , even more than I

2:29

could have anticipated , this

2:31

show has served that purpose so

2:34

incredibly well . But the thing is

2:36

, as I look at how I'm currently

2:38

allocating my time and my

2:40

energy , there's a pretty

2:42

even split between the podcast

2:45

and my family . But

2:47

ironically , considering

2:49

, this is a show where we talk about our

2:52

biggest dreams and our ambitions

2:54

and how we're making time for them

2:57

. In motherhood , I've

2:59

started to realize that , while I've

3:01

loved creating this podcast , somewhere

3:03

along the way I accidentally

3:06

buried my dreams underneath it

3:09

because , honestly , I have pretty

3:11

much zero time left over to

3:13

dedicate to the very things

3:15

that I created this podcast to reconnect

3:18

with in the first place . I

3:20

mean , I haven't been making music in a consistent capacity

3:22

, which , like that's something core to my

3:25

soul , and I haven't been spending

3:27

as much time surrounded by dogs anymore

3:29

, which is a huge passion of mine and something

3:31

that I deeply miss . Honestly

3:34

, I just sort of like backburnered

3:36

a lot of my former dreams

3:38

and ambitions without even realizing

3:40

that I had done it . Does that make sense

3:43

? I just I've been doing a lot of

3:45

really deep internal work lately and

3:47

I've been challenged to take a really close look

3:50

at all of the areas of my life and

3:52

how I'm showing up for them and

3:54

how they either are

3:56

or aren't serving me in this

3:58

season of my journey , and I've been

4:00

asked to get really honest with myself

4:03

about what I really want

4:05

and what I'm being called

4:07

to let go of and this

4:09

is probably the hardest one for me what

4:11

I'm clinging to simply

4:13

because it's familiar and

4:16

seemingly safe . And the truth

4:18

is , this show is something

4:20

I have been clinging to

4:22

for a while , almost trying to force it

4:24

to work . You know , I've poured so

4:27

much of my heart and soul into the production

4:29

of this show and in the process I've

4:31

had the privilege of connecting with so

4:33

many amazing mamas and it's

4:35

honestly been such a rewarding process

4:38

. But despite all that

4:40

has gone into this show , it's never

4:42

really seemed to find its footing . And

4:45

there's a quote that I love that says when

4:47

a flower doesn't bloom , you fix

4:49

the environment in which it grows , not the

4:51

flower . And that really resonates

4:53

with me so deeply right now

4:55

, because I know it's

4:58

time for me to plant some roots in

5:00

new soil . But I'd be lying if

5:02

I said that landing on this decision

5:04

wasn't extremely hard

5:06

and bittersweet , because it's

5:09

really freaking hard to let go of something

5:12

that I've poured so much

5:14

of myself into and something

5:16

that has brought me so much joy

5:19

and purpose . But ultimately

5:21

I know it's time for a pivot . So

5:23

this is the last episode

5:26

of Mama's Cup of Ambition for

5:28

the foreseeable future and

5:30

full transparency here

5:33

I'm actually recording this episode

5:35

the night before it will air . That's

5:37

not my style and

5:40

I know that may lead you to believe

5:42

that I've made this spur of the moment

5:44

choice to cancel the show , and that's truly

5:46

not the case . I want to assure you that's not the case

5:49

here . The truth is , I've

5:51

been clinging and going back and forth

5:54

over the past few weeks and

5:56

I've had so many guest

5:58

requests come in and even a few opportunities

6:01

to expand my reach and to grow

6:03

the show . But when I really got honest

6:05

with myself , I knew

6:08

that they were presenting as tests

6:10

and that wasn't the direction that I was supposed

6:12

to be heading . So this is a side

6:14

note here , but it's relevant , I swear . So

6:16

just stay with me . My dad was

6:18

over at my house today for a little family

6:20

time and while he was here he

6:23

gave me his pocket watch and

6:26

he had tears in his eyes when he was doing

6:28

it and he , like really

6:30

lovingly , showed me how to work

6:32

it . And he shared with me that

6:34

his mom gave it to him on his 25th

6:36

birthday and he wanted me

6:39

to have it . And of course , this

6:41

all made me begin to cry as well

6:43

because , as I've

6:45

shared here with you on the show before

6:48

, my dad is in the final chapter

6:50

of his life and as

6:52

a family , we're all trying to reconcile

6:54

navigating this complicated territory

6:57

. And I'm not going to go deep into that right now

6:59

because I did an episode all

7:01

about it episode 67

7:03

, exploring the significance of firsts and

7:06

lasts , and I'll link that

7:08

up here in case you want to go back and give it a listen

7:10

. But the thing is , in that

7:12

moment I really wanted

7:14

to just quickly turn down

7:16

his gesture and say something along the lines

7:18

of like no , dad , it's

7:20

not time for you to start letting go of your belongings

7:23

. But that's not my call . It's

7:25

not my place to tell him when to

7:27

let go . Only he can navigate

7:30

those choices and all I can

7:32

do is try to make space for

7:34

his experience and allow him to share

7:36

the pieces of his life with us in the way that

7:38

feels right to him . But what really got

7:40

me was the fact that as my dad

7:42

and I sat on the couch in tears together

7:45

with kids running wild all around

7:47

us , I held his pocket

7:49

watch in one hand and I

7:51

was holding my dad's hand in the other , and

7:54

all I could think about was I'm

7:56

not ready for this , I need more

7:58

time . You see the irony

8:01

right Like holding my dad's pocket watch

8:03

and thinking like I need more time

8:05

. I don't . I'm not ready for

8:07

this goodbye to be so close

8:09

and imminent , and I

8:12

also realized in that moment that I

8:14

also need to lighten my load . You

8:16

know , like I need to make time for

8:18

these moments that I know I'll never be

8:20

able to get back . And coming

8:23

back to that quote about changing a flower's

8:25

environment when it's not blooming , there's

8:27

another quote that comes to mind here that's nothing

8:30

in nature blooms all year . And

8:32

I don't think we're meant to be on

8:35

a never-ending content creation

8:37

wheel , despite what our culture

8:39

may have us believe . And

8:41

you know , the truth is I don't

8:43

entirely know what's next for me , other

8:46

than the opportunity to just be

8:48

for a while and to

8:50

lean in hard to my motherhood era

8:52

and spend a little more time just playing

8:54

and creating for my own self-expression

8:57

and exploration . And hot damn

8:59

, that sounds good Like I've spent

9:01

so much of my life identifying

9:04

as ambitious and on some level

9:06

, that will always be me . That

9:08

will always be true . I mean , that's why

9:10

I named this show Mama's Cup of Ambition

9:12

. But the ironic thing is

9:14

that I discovered about myself

9:17

in the production of this show that

9:19

, yes , I am ambitious about

9:21

a lot of things , but I'm also pretty

9:23

damn ambitious about just being

9:25

just existing , just

9:28

being a present mama to my kids , a

9:30

present mom to my dogs and

9:33

a present wife and a friend

9:35

, present sister , a present daughter

9:37

. I just present

9:39

with my own company for crying out loud , like

9:41

, to be honest , I've kind of lost touch

9:43

with how to do that lately and

9:45

I'm really looking forward to sort

9:48

of disconnecting from this identity

9:51

that I've been wrapped in of ambition

9:53

to do more and be more and really

9:55

just anchoring down and reconnecting with

9:57

myself and this life that I'm

9:59

blessed enough to be living . There's

10:02

this theory called the fertile void , and

10:04

it's a theory that is just basically

10:07

there to describe a phase

10:09

where nothing in particular stands

10:11

out and nothing much seems to be happening

10:13

, where you might not really

10:15

be sure what to expect

10:17

and things might be kind of quiet in your life

10:19

and you don't really know what

10:22

the future holds . But the fertile

10:24

void is where unexpected things

10:26

, joys , treasures can really take shape

10:28

in your life . That totally feels

10:30

like the season that I'm entering

10:33

now and it's very

10:35

welcome . So I

10:38

just want to say thank you to each

10:41

and every one of you who have been on this

10:43

journey with me . Thank you

10:45

for tuning in , thank you for sharing

10:47

the show , thank you for letting

10:50

me be a part of your days and for exploring

10:52

the intersection of motherhood and dream chasing with

10:55

me . This has most definitely

10:57

been a chapter in my life that

10:59

I will look back fondly on and

11:01

, who knows , maybe someday I'll

11:04

feel inclined to bring the show back . But

11:06

for now , I am signing

11:08

off with the intention to both lean

11:11

in hard to my motherhood era while my babies

11:13

are still young , but also

11:16

to stop talking about my dreams

11:18

and start pouring time and energy into

11:20

them again . Cheers

11:22

to that right . And I'll

11:25

still be popping by over on Instagram

11:27

to say hi from time to time , so we can

11:29

still connect there . I'm not going

11:31

off the grid or anything , but

11:34

this is it for Mama's

11:36

Cup of Ambition . For now , I

11:39

want you to know I'm rooting for you , I

11:41

believe in you and I'm encouraging

11:43

you to go do all those things that

11:45

you've been dreaming of doing . And until

11:47

our paths cross again , may

11:50

your dreams be ambitious and may

11:52

your coffee be strong . I'll talk

11:54

to you soon .