Episode Transcript
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woeful gang. I do hope you're well
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my name is Mark entered day in
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like subscribe maybe that notification bell to
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less crack arm with the days first
0:51
story much love guys Now today's for
0:53
story comes from either economy seven nine
0:55
three and says i'm I the asshole
0:57
for telling my husband i told you
1:00
so and laughing when we got the
1:02
paternity test results. I. Twenty seven
1:04
female have been married to my husband.
1:06
Twenty eight male for two years, gave
1:08
birth to our daughter five weeks ago.
1:10
I tried to keep the sure so
1:12
I don't waste your time with any
1:14
irrelevant details. What happened was that
1:16
our daughter came out with blonde hair
1:18
and pale blue eyes. Or my husband
1:21
and I have brown hair, brown eyes.
1:23
My. Husband freaked out at this and refused
1:26
to listen to my explanation that sometimes
1:28
babies are born the lighter hair and
1:30
eyes they get.grow the time. He.
1:32
Demanded a paternity test and britain
1:34
to divorce me if I didn't
1:36
comply. To. I did. After
1:38
my daughter and I got home from the hospital,
1:40
my husband went to stay at his parents' house
1:42
for the first three weeks to get some space for
1:45
me. While. I recovered and he
1:47
told them what was happening. My
1:49
mother in law called an informed me
1:51
that if the paternity test revealed that
1:53
the child wasn't his to do anything
1:55
within our power to make sure that
1:57
I was taken to the cleaners during.
2:00
The boss. At. My sister to
2:02
lean on and and we take care of the
2:04
baby during this. We. Got the
2:06
results back yesterday. And my husband
2:08
came home to view them with me. As.
2:11
On the couch in the living room. So he
2:13
sat next to me and we started to read
2:15
the results. They. Showed that he
2:17
was the father of my husband. Had
2:19
this shocked kind of mortified look on
2:22
his face and eyes wide as he
2:24
stared at it. I couldn't help
2:26
us. I. Told you so. Started
2:28
laughing at the way he looks. My.
2:31
Husband snap out of a shot and got mad at
2:33
me for laughing at him. He. Argued
2:35
for a bit which was mainly him yelling
2:37
at me. For. My sister came
2:39
downstairs and my husband shut up. After.
2:43
That my husband went back to his
2:45
parents' house to clear his head. And.
2:47
To the three hours later my mother
2:49
in law called to scold me that
2:52
laughing and my husband's face because apparently
2:54
who's taken him while he was down.
2:57
Is also left a couple of nasty tax
2:59
essentially saying the same thing this morning. I
3:02
don't think I'm an asshole, but I would like an
3:04
outsider perspective on this. Opiates and at
3:06
it as as since someone else in the
3:08
comments but I can't find it anymore as
3:10
zero history of cheating. They.
3:13
Do clearly doesn't understand genetics and just
3:15
had this massive meltdown and ran off
3:17
to his parents' house for his money
3:19
to start calling. you say that they're
3:21
going to take you to the cleaners.
3:24
I would a bit it in itself
3:26
but yet for them to come round
3:28
to check out the results I would
3:30
have pissed myself laughing at the same
3:32
time and was apologetic in any way.
3:34
Not that's going to fix things but
3:36
didn't apologize. After the results came in
3:38
he ran off again to clear his
3:40
head and mommy calls up the tell
3:42
you have. about laughing because you're kicking
3:45
him while he was down because of
3:47
his own thought process so yeah the
3:49
husband's a piece of work but i'm
3:51
also side eyeing the rest of the
3:53
family that they didn't take your side
3:55
in this as well in question the
3:57
behavior of him they automatically took his
4:00
side and started scolding you, harassing you
4:02
about it, but pneumatically says,
4:05
My husband and I both have dark
4:07
brown hair and dark eyes. Our
4:09
child equals blonde and blue eyes,
4:11
as Opie's husband never heard of
4:13
recessive genes. Crystal Queen says
4:15
not the arsehole, fuck that guy. Not
4:18
only doesn't he have a basic grasp of
4:20
genetics, he's a retentrum and left you immediately
4:22
after having the baby to struggle alone for
4:24
almost a month. He's lucky all you did
4:26
was laugh in his face. Needle
4:29
Piggy says, also in my opinion,
4:31
he's projecting his own infidelity. Sorry
4:34
you're going through the OP. I know some
4:36
other people suggesting this as well and we have
4:38
seen that kind of behaviour in the past so
4:40
it wouldn't be that surprising. Ellis
4:43
Mums says, so are we laughing whilst
4:45
serving him divorce papers? What's the move,
4:48
girl? Buffalo says, I'm a
4:50
married man and I want to divorce
4:52
this guy. Character Figure
4:54
says, this is insane. He abandoned you
4:56
postpartum and forced you to take care
4:58
of a newborn baby by yourself while
5:01
healing. My husband and I
5:03
have a baby that looks nothing like either
5:05
of us. She came out with strawberry blonde
5:07
hair and blue eyes while we both have
5:09
brown hair and brown eyes. They
5:12
both just said, wow genetics
5:14
are crazy. I'm sorry
5:16
for what you're going through while being freshly
5:18
postpartum with a newborn. One
5:21
more comment from who says, for
5:23
real, I'll group message dear mother-in-law
5:25
and husband and say that your
5:27
son abandoned me for three weeks
5:29
postpartum leaving me alone to care
5:31
for, edit, our newborn, while still
5:33
healing because apparently none of you
5:35
ever learned how biology works. And
5:38
now that it's been proven how very wrong
5:40
you both were both in your assumptions and
5:42
treatment of me, you have the audacity to
5:44
get upset with me by laughing.
5:47
That's the real joke. The appropriate response
5:49
to the bear and I mean bare
5:51
minimum. Bare minimum would be
5:53
a groveling apology and instead you
5:55
are doubling down. Enjoy Not
5:58
being involved in my daughter's life. Keep
6:00
your son. We will see who's going to
6:02
the cleanest now. So. Around two
6:04
months later Opie comes in with enough day
6:06
and says i start this post off by
6:08
sense Thank you for the advice and support
6:10
I was given. A. All give
6:12
me the from kick in the ass to divorce
6:14
my ex. Forces sorry for leaving you in
6:16
the lurch for the past two months. Oh.
6:19
right? Is the update. After
6:21
making my post, I decided to search for
6:23
divorce lawyers in my area with my sister.
6:26
It. Took awhile by managed to find a
6:28
meet with one who's willing to do
6:30
virtual consultations. During. This an ex
6:32
was not. contacted me a tooth but I did
6:34
reach out to see if he was a cat.
6:37
Eventually once he actually got says for x
6:39
came back to our house and fight pleading
6:41
with me not to go through with a
6:43
divorce. Because. He loved me more
6:46
than any one and that would you go
6:48
to couples therapy during this by accept up
6:50
and admitted to cheating on me when he
6:52
first left me. He. Said that
6:54
he got caught up with his coworker when
6:57
trying to explain his weeks long absence. At
6:59
first I didn't realize who he was talking about because
7:02
he referred to her by nickname. Think
7:04
there over Vivian. But. My
7:06
brain kick back into gear and asked
7:08
if that getting caught up with her
7:10
was code for that? Up to. Like.
7:13
Stumbled over his words and try to dodged
7:15
the question, but seem to realize that I
7:17
wasn't going to let up on this pretty
7:19
quickly. He. Admitted to go
7:21
into fourth emotional support before our baby
7:23
was born. Since. He was nervous about
7:26
being a dad. And. Eventually fucking A
7:28
during the time he left. The
7:30
you guys were right by him cheating. And.
7:32
Had enough at that point and of my
7:35
ex point blank, we were going to divorce
7:37
the ifs ands or buts about it and
7:39
that I wanted fifty fifty custody. Would
7:42
only be speaking about the divorce custody
7:44
arrangements and our daughter A. So far
7:46
this. Likes just nodded to what
7:48
I was saying and and asked if he gets see
7:51
our daughter. Was. A bit hesitant but
7:53
said yes and called my sister to have
7:55
a bring idols down to deliver. Makes.
7:58
held our daughter and talk to them baby
8:00
for a bit before leaving. My
8:02
sister asked me if I was alright after he was gone,
8:04
and I told her I was okay. My
8:07
mother-in-law did try to harass me over the
8:09
phone about divorcing my ex, but by then,
8:12
I'd already blocked her, so she went to
8:14
my sister instead. I guess
8:16
my mother-in-law was never told that I owned
8:18
the house, my ex and I previously shared,
8:20
since she'd text my sister, stating that I
8:22
was going to be on the streets. Well,
8:24
my mother-in-law most certainly knows that
8:27
now, since my ex is now living with her, I
8:29
moved out. My ex has seen
8:32
our daughter a few times. Those visits
8:34
were awkward to say the least, but I
8:36
managed. Hopefully, I won't have to
8:38
give you guys any more updates about this. And
8:41
just a couple of the top comments after
8:43
this, FirewaterKai says, I wonder if her being
8:45
willing to make a child homeless plays any
8:48
role, or is Opie just stuck? Opie
8:50
says I think she assumed that if I got
8:52
kicked out, my daughter would be stuck with my
8:54
ex, rather than me taking my daughter with me
8:56
and staying at my parents' house. User
8:59
says, so that he wrongly accused you of
9:01
cheating and turns around and cheats on you.
9:04
Thank goodness you're divorcing him and leaving him and
9:06
his mother behind. Best of luck to
9:08
you and your daughter. HecknoNo says,
9:11
write her first refusal or assuring
9:13
priority of parental care. This
9:15
refers to situations where a parent is unable to
9:17
meet an obligation for the care of the child
9:19
during their scheduled time. They must
9:22
then contact the other parent who offered them
9:24
to have the child, before they use another
9:26
family member or baby sister over the other
9:28
parent. So if your ex has
9:30
the baby but just drops her off at his
9:32
mother's house and takes off, you can take your
9:34
child back home with you, or eventually get more
9:37
custody time if he is not using his custody
9:39
time to be with his child. And
9:41
one more comment from Space Commuter who says, I
9:44
don't think 50-50 custody is the right thing here.
9:46
He has no parental instincts for
9:48
his child at all, even denying he
9:50
was the father. But To this point it
9:52
sounds like he hasn't even fed her or changed a
9:55
diaper. You shouldn't turn her over to him half the
9:57
time. You'll probably just hand her off to the mother
9:59
in the water. The To raise. You.
10:01
Be going for full custody based on him
10:03
abandoning you and your daughter after the birth.
10:06
Was refusing to believe he was the
10:08
father should pay child support and not
10:10
corrupt his daughter first. But.
10:13
Now I'm going to turn this one
10:15
to you guys. What do you guys
10:17
make of this situations? Let me know
10:19
your thoughts down in the comments below.
10:21
unless move on to another store. Ever
10:26
catches self eating the same level as dead or
10:28
three days and around. Three minutes some
10:30
bad. Well Hello Fresh is a guilt
10:32
free dream come true. Then he is
10:35
Me De Palma's. Let's wake up
10:37
those caves. Word with some juicy became
10:39
accredited Sit in a garlic butter said.
10:41
Scampi. Oh hello
10:43
from us. Sad
10:46
dreaming of all the delicious possibility and
10:48
the year that hello fresh, that. Let's
10:51
get this in the body size. Dive
11:07
into a world of laughs by
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downloading the Amazon Music app for
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free. Or go to amazon.com/comedy ad
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free. That's amazon.com/comedy ad free to
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catch up on the latest episodes
11:18
without the ads. And.
11:23
On next three does have an update is
11:25
wells from fake name from the am I
11:27
the also sovereign as as as would I
11:29
be the our souls if i rescinded my
11:31
offer to pay for friend's birthday dinner after
11:33
they pick somewhere com eat. My.
11:36
Friend Luke is turning forty and I offered
11:38
to pay for him and a group of
11:40
our friends to have dinner. Any well he
11:42
wants his. Luke knows
11:44
I've been vague and since my twenties
11:46
is never been an issue before. When
11:49
I ask where he made reservations he said
11:51
a local barbecue place and as famous he
11:53
of having a menu that most people who
11:55
don't eat meat. But. literally has
11:57
a section that says vegetarian or Don't
12:00
let the door hit you on the way out." I
12:03
asked what he expected me to eat and he
12:05
got huffy and said, well it's his birthday so
12:08
it shouldn't matter. I should eat
12:10
before getting there and just order drinks while
12:12
everyone else eats dinner and still enjoy everyone's
12:14
company etc. It
12:17
sounds miserable to me. I
12:19
had zero expectations of Luke picking somewhere vegan
12:21
friendly. Hell, I expected him to pick a
12:23
steakhouse and would have been fine with a
12:25
salad and some sights. I
12:27
didn't expect him to choose somewhere that prides themselves
12:29
on being on meat, eating in every
12:32
single dish on the menu. I
12:34
want to tell him never mind and buy
12:36
him a traditional birthday gift instead but
12:39
feel like a massive asshole for taking back
12:41
my offer. I don't know what to do
12:43
to be honest. Edited to add this
12:45
is a group of 9 so I'm also
12:47
feeling miffed about spending 300 plus dollars
12:50
on a meal I can't eat. Second
12:52
edit, the exact text I sent. Hey hey, I
12:54
want to take you and the friend fam out
12:57
to dinner for your birthday. Make a
12:59
reservation somewhere and let me know. Now
13:01
I'm trying to find some
13:03
excuse that he didn't know
13:06
or something you know because this is just, this
13:08
is meant to be your friend and
13:11
this guy is just taking the piss. You
13:13
were massively generous to offer to take a
13:15
group of 9 people out, paid
13:17
for their meals. If I was that person
13:20
who had that offer, I'm not sure I'd
13:22
be able to accept it anyway but I'd
13:24
also be saying I know Opie offered me
13:26
but let's work together to find a place
13:28
that we both enjoy seeing as you know
13:30
you're paying for all of it. But
13:32
instead he has this attitude as where he
13:35
gets huffy and says it's my birthday so
13:37
it shouldn't matter, just eat before you get
13:39
there and order drinks. Which would have been
13:41
one thing if you know, somehow, someway he
13:44
forgot and he went oh my god yeah
13:46
I'm so sorry let's find somewhere that can
13:48
accommodate you at the same time. Not just
13:50
nah, go eat before you come and get
13:53
drinks. Either you said you were
13:55
going to pay for it, what a bizarre attitude
13:58
and seriously got me side-eyeing. is that
14:00
really a friend? But Head of Harlot says
14:03
not the arsehole, I get that you offered
14:05
and said he could pick anywhere he wanted.
14:07
This is extremely generous of you, so generous
14:09
in fact that you should have at least
14:11
been considered when picking the venue. Even
14:15
on people's birthdays, my friend group makes
14:17
sure to pick restaurants that cater to
14:19
everyone's dietary restrictions and allergies. That's
14:22
what you do when you care about your
14:24
friends. The choice he made feels very intentional on
14:26
his part and not in a good way. Honestly
14:29
it seems he thought it would be funny to
14:31
humiliate you. He's using the fact
14:33
that it's his birthday to get away with it. Luke
14:36
doesn't sound like a great friend. How
14:38
you handle this is up to you. I personally
14:40
would tell him that choosing the one restaurant
14:43
that intentionally excludes people like you is very
14:45
telling and you would not be participating. Renny
14:48
Rains says make a joke out of it by saying
14:50
something like come on man you know I'm vegan. Quit
14:52
fucking with me and pick a place where I can
14:54
eat as well or you're on your own. Switch
14:57
intro replies then. I agree with this light hearted
14:59
way of letting you know that you can't believe
15:01
you'd pick a place where you can't eat then
15:03
have you pick up the bill. You
15:06
should either have chosen a different place or
15:08
politely declined your offer since the venue was
15:10
already decided. Old Smokey
15:12
says clear not the asshole. A lot
15:15
of people saying that gifts don't have strings
15:17
attached to which I would say they sure
15:19
can. You made that up. Funny
15:21
if gifts have implicit or explicit
15:23
conditions. Further you didn't offer to
15:26
just give them a few hundred bucks for dinner. You
15:28
offered to buy dinner for a group of which
15:30
you are a member. If you can't participate in
15:33
the dinner then it isn't a dinner for the
15:35
group and does not meet the qualifications of your
15:37
offer. So three days later OP comes in with
15:39
an update and says hey folks this may not
15:42
be the dramatic update you all wanted but here
15:44
we go. First clear some things
15:46
up. Many of their comments assumed
15:48
I was a man in the Luke Wish trying to
15:50
emasculate me somehow. I'm a 41 year old
15:53
woman and our friend group that was
15:55
invited are 4 women and 6 men.
15:57
Four Of those people are spouses and the
15:59
other six of us have known each other
16:01
since college, after living in the same academic
16:04
focus how seen a year. Off
16:06
campus housing option where people who
16:08
share concentration can apply for a
16:10
live in standalone houses off campus
16:12
at a university. Owns. A
16:14
story for another. doing. Is. Trying to
16:16
give context. After. Deciding to just council
16:19
and take a break from my friendship with
16:21
Least, I got a text from a friend
16:23
susan letting me know that Luca told everyone
16:25
where we were gonna eat without prompting. Got
16:28
several takes backs along the lines of hilarious
16:30
but where are we really eating. Low.
16:32
Any drama I guess. Loot realized he had
16:34
made a mistake. I got attacked later in
16:37
the day. From. Him saying he was
16:39
sorry I had decided on a different spot.
16:42
Luke. Has always been a bit oblivious
16:44
and bad with social tooth and I'm
16:46
bad at confrontation which was a bad
16:48
makes. Dinner. Was last night knowing
16:51
great a room was making fun of Loops
16:53
the initial choice, but he took it in
16:55
stride and we all had a great time
16:57
catching up. Been away from our respective kids
16:59
for a night. Story. The
17:01
boring object. Now I'm going to be
17:03
completely honest and Ninevah maybe a bad
17:05
take bomb willing to accept that I'm
17:07
not sure how I feel about our
17:10
date. Loot in the first part
17:12
of the story. Luke. Old
17:14
Opie you know. just have some food before
17:17
you come out and you can just sit
17:19
and have drinks and basically watches eat our
17:21
food. So whatever happened in the salt they
17:24
it just feels like Luke was trying
17:26
to save face. He was gonna be doing
17:28
this barbecue restaurant a business that several people
17:30
in this friend group bit back and he
17:32
thought to himself have shared. Best change it
17:35
really quick. you. Both. Like I
17:37
said, I'm not sure how I feel about that
17:39
one. Let me know how you guys on people
17:41
in the updates were saying you know this is
17:44
a good update. Let us
17:46
know your thoughts down in the
17:48
comments below and I plus have
17:50
one more cheeky stories. And
17:53
this story comes from the Am I the Asshole
17:55
sub reddit. It doesn't have an update as yet,
17:57
this from Blaze of Fifty Four. Who says Am
17:59
I the also. Having a doctor to
18:01
shut up a turbulent smite. I.
18:04
Said email was on a flight from Atlanta
18:06
to L a X last night. At
18:08
least everyone just trying to get some
18:10
sleep. To I was
18:12
in the lights come on and announced the crack
18:15
was really into can. Turbulence.
18:17
Ahead fasten seat belts, Pretty.
18:19
Standard stuff. Then. All
18:21
hell breaks loose. This woman maybe
18:24
late forties impeccably dressed, starts freaking
18:26
out screaming about air pockets the
18:28
morning to speak to the pilots
18:31
A whole nine yards. Flight.
18:33
Attendants super patient. Lady bless
18:35
us try to calm down,
18:37
explains his standard procedure. Surveillance
18:40
is normal. Nope no and
18:42
it is. Lady who will
18:44
name Jane throws a fit.
18:46
Of the screeching nails on a short
18:49
both kind but a cold steel he
18:51
fury. Get uses the flight
18:53
attendant of lines of putting everyone in
18:55
danger and amounts to be deeply and
18:57
immediately. Flight. Attendant says that
18:59
is not possible mid flight. And
19:02
game launches into this whole spiel about
19:04
how she's a doctor who's out an
19:06
Id to prove it. There's Something Happens
19:09
is only airline. Now.
19:11
The rest of the plane is
19:13
awake. People are grumbling, some looking
19:15
scared. A baby starts crying. Flight.
19:18
Attendant is trying to reason with Jane,
19:20
but it's like talking to a brick
19:23
wall. Finally, I just lose it. A
19:25
yellow out, probably a little too loudly. Look.
19:28
Lady, we all get turbulence and not
19:30
a five star resort, but it's safe.
19:32
Sit down and shut up. We get
19:34
yourself arrested. Everyone stares at
19:36
me. Gain spins around
19:38
eyes blazing and start in
19:40
on me about disrespect in
19:42
a medical professional. A. Fire
19:44
back that a real doctor wouldn't be causing a
19:46
scene of freaking everyone else. A
19:48
flight attendant dies in trying to mediate
19:51
for the damage is done. We.
19:53
Hit some turbulence. Not terrible, but enough
19:55
to jostle the playing. Games.
19:57
Freaked again the some people start getting paid.
20:01
I feel awful, maybe I made
20:03
things worse. The flight attendant gives
20:05
me a look that could curdle milk,
20:07
but then steers Jane away to talk to
20:09
her privately. By the time
20:11
we land, things are calmer, but the tension
20:13
is thick. Jane gives me
20:15
a withering look as she disembarks, and a
20:17
few people mutter thanks under their breath. So,
20:20
some eye of the arsehole. Did
20:22
I just escalate a bad situation, or
20:24
was I ripe to shut down a
20:26
meltdown that was putting other passengers on
20:28
edge? I'm honestly not
20:30
sure. I'm gonna
20:33
start in the comments with chalk in boots who
20:35
says you're the arsehole but unknowingly. The
20:37
crew were trained to handle these sorts of
20:39
situations, and you and your frustration escalated it.
20:42
I fly. A lot. I'm also a very
20:45
big guy who looks like he can handle
20:47
himself. There's kind of an unwritten
20:49
rule that if there's an aggressive passenger, sit
20:51
the fuck down but pay attention, don't jump
20:53
in, don't risk making things worse in an
20:56
attempt to fix the issue. Sit
20:58
down, shut up, and if the crew need
21:00
help, they'll ask. Do you ever watch
21:02
or play netball? Unlike a
21:04
lot of sports where players will call for the ball,
21:07
open players in netball say here if you
21:09
need, or imagine going to the supermarket and
21:11
you see someone with a pallet stocking shell.
21:13
You don't just start grabbing stuff and putting
21:15
it on the shelf saying I'm just trying
21:17
to help. Let the
21:19
professional handle it. Nope says you're
21:21
the arsehole, it doesn't matter that you're being
21:23
rude to a fake doctor, it matters that
21:26
you're disrespectful to the flight attendant and the
21:28
other passengers. You're not Batman
21:30
performing some distasteful but necessary
21:32
vigilantism. You're just a second
21:35
loud arsehole yelling at the first arsehole.
21:38
Okay perception says I didn't know a single doctor who
21:40
would behave that way. The only scenario
21:42
that would make sense is she's an alcoholic with a
21:44
fear of flying. You're the arsehole
21:47
for escalating a bad situation. Let
21:49
the flight attendants deal with it, they're trained to
21:51
do so. Yelling to get someone who
21:53
is angry or in the middle of a panic attack
21:55
isn't helpful. Just being yelled at
21:57
when you're angry or afraid ever helped you.
22:00
And one more comment from SmallTreesDreams who
22:03
says, You're the asshole. If the flight
22:05
attendants were being physically overwhelmed by a
22:07
violent passenger or something I could see
22:09
getting involved or perhaps if you're a
22:11
therapist or somehow trained in mental health
22:13
support or conflict resolution, you could identify
22:15
yourself to the flight attendants and offer
22:17
your help and expertise. As
22:20
it is, all you did is yell
22:22
at an anxious person and escalated the
22:24
situation. But now I'm going
22:26
to turn this one to you guys. Put
22:28
yourself in OP's position. Would you ever shout
22:30
out like that or not? You
22:33
think OP made it worse or would you be happy
22:35
if someone did that in that situation? Let
22:37
us know your thoughts down in the comments
22:39
below. Just a huge thank you
22:42
from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's
22:44
stories. Your love, your support, your
22:46
time always means the absolute world to me.
22:48
So thank you so so much and hopefully
22:50
I'll see you in the next one. Take
22:52
care and much love. Have
23:22
a good night. HelloFresh.
23:42
Stop dreaming of all the delicious
23:44
possibilities and dig in at hellofresh.com.
23:48
Let's get this dinner party started. Bye.
23:58
Question one and your starter for a perfect
24:01
ten was this. How many
24:03
different colors are on the national flag of
24:05
Greece? And the answer is there are
24:07
two colors and they are blue and red.
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