Episode Transcript
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Hey hey Waffle Gang, I do hope
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you're well. My name is Mark and
0:41
today we're checking out some more Reddit
0:44
stories and if you do love a
0:46
Reddit story why not consider hitting that
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like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too
0:50
and let's crack on with today's first
0:52
story. Much love to
0:54
you guys and today's first
0:56
story comes from the mi-wrong
0:58
subreddit from chimney4684 and says,
1:00
my wife told me I'm
1:02
replaceable. I,
1:05
30 male, have been married to my
1:07
wife, 29 female, for two
1:09
years and we've known each other for
1:11
six. A few weeks ago
1:13
we had an argument and during our disagreement
1:15
she told me that I am replaceable. After
1:19
our argument she went out with her friends. I've
1:22
been dealing with some health problems for
1:24
a while and the argument stressed me
1:26
out, leaving me nervous and unwell. I
1:29
was alone in the house and decided to call
1:31
the paramedics because I felt that something was really
1:33
wrong. To sum up, I
1:35
suffered a heart attack. In
1:38
the hospital they tried to reach my wife
1:40
but she didn't respond. Like
1:42
Lee still upset from our argument. She
1:44
called later after coming home when she found
1:46
out I'm not there. After
1:48
learning of my condition she came to see me
1:50
and stayed with me the entire time, constantly
1:53
crying and holding my hands. After
1:55
being sent home she did everything so I
1:58
could recover faster. However, the story spite
2:00
her efforts, I couldn't stop thinking about how
2:02
she had told me that I'm replaceable. I
2:05
constantly think about it. I want
2:07
to confront her about it, but I don't think
2:09
I'm ready. I'm trying to
2:11
understand why context matters. And
2:14
what way your situation is acceptable
2:16
to call your partner replaceable. Your
2:19
dacity to even say something like that
2:21
is beyond me. I
2:23
will answer some things here. We
2:25
have no children. I have
2:27
genetic health problems. External factors also
2:30
contributed to my problems. I
2:32
have a higher salary than her, so I mostly
2:34
pay the bills or buy things for our home.
2:37
I mostly cook and clean. She does
2:40
it too, but mostly me. It's not 50-50, more like
2:42
60-40. She
2:45
isn't actively trying to kill me. I
2:47
hope so at least. I don't know if she
2:49
has a fuck buddy. Let's also
2:51
address the elephant in the room. We had an
2:53
argument about our house. Some issues
2:55
with it. After that, we
2:58
also discussed our priorities, careers and intimacy.
3:00
At one point, discussion was replaced by
3:02
her venting and saying things not even
3:04
related to the original discussion. I had
3:07
no issues with her ranting about things until
3:09
she told me that I'm replaceable.
3:12
That was the end of the conversation. I
3:14
no longer wanted to talk. She
3:16
finds my silence terrifying, but she didn't stay in
3:18
the house for long after the argument. I didn't
3:21
know when she came home. I
3:23
woke up in the hospital and she was there. She
3:26
kept crying and holding my hands. She
3:28
didn't speak much. She couldn't. On
3:30
the side note, some people in the comment
3:33
section have some issues themselves. Like some of
3:35
the comments are just wild. Horrifying.
3:38
As usual. But there's being angry in
3:40
the moment and then they're saying something
3:42
that's cruel and what she said was
3:45
absolutely cruel. And like yourself, I
3:47
don't know how I would look
3:50
past that. It's
3:52
something that would always sit in your mind.
3:54
I mean, why wouldn't it be told that
3:56
you are replaceable? I mean, it could be,
3:58
you know, something that she didn't really mean
4:00
in the heat of the moment kind of stuff.
4:04
I could never imagine saying something like that even in the
4:06
heat of the moment. But
4:08
there was a highly upvoted comment
4:10
that everyone was pointing out. Pretty
4:13
pandemonium said, my husband once
4:15
said to me, wives are replaceable,
4:17
mothers are not, mum will always
4:19
win. Within the year,
4:21
our 9 year marriage collapsed. The
4:23
context was finding out how deeply involved
4:25
his mother was in our marriage, arguments,
4:27
decisions etc. We were not
4:30
arguing but having a discussion about how it
4:32
wasn't right to basically have a third person
4:34
in the marriage, that it was between the
4:36
two of us. The way I found
4:38
out was during a discussion about investments we had
4:40
made. I got up from the
4:42
table we were talking at and found his phone
4:44
on the counter with mum showing on screen. He'd
4:47
call her and have her listen in to our discussion,
4:50
so he could take it to her after we were done.
4:53
I disconnected the call without comment
4:55
and she called back immediately. He
4:58
vehemently disagreed that it wasn't right and
5:00
made that statement to me, basically stating
5:02
that it was he and his mum
5:04
against me and I'd always lose, while
5:07
she was still on the phone listening in. It
5:10
was like a gut punch. It opened
5:12
my eyes to a lot of little things
5:14
that eventually led to crying for divorce. He
5:17
was stunned. His mum called me
5:19
and immediately said, you can't do that. Oh
5:22
yes, I can and did. As
5:24
a petty move I served his mother the
5:26
divorce papers at the same time, so she
5:29
could be involved in a divorce. Law. $50
5:32
well spent in my opinion. She came
5:34
to our hearing and was so vocal about what
5:36
she thought was right and wrong, and the
5:38
judge ordered her out of the courtroom. Law.
5:42
He's her full time problem now. They've
5:44
been living together since the separation
5:46
and she's miserable about it. They
5:48
deserve each other. Holy
5:50
moly a story within a story. I can
5:53
see why that was upvoted. Nearly
5:55
pointless says you can forgive her for what she
5:58
said, but you will never forget how she made
6:00
you feel in the moment. This is
6:02
why we don't name call or let our
6:04
anger overwhelm our kindness. It's okay
6:06
to be angry but to be cruel
6:08
is not acceptable. Tiny ad
6:10
says I think you need to space my friend
6:13
to think this all through. What she
6:15
said can't be put back into the bottle. Even
6:17
if said in anger, even if she
6:20
didn't mean it, you'll never 100% know.
6:22
Clearly your health will be better without this level
6:24
of stress. I don't know what is
6:26
causing your heart problems, whether it's fitness, diet
6:28
or just a heart condition but clearly
6:31
you need time to rest, mentally and
6:33
physically and build up some cardiac resilience.
6:36
I strongly suggest listening to your doctors and potentially
6:38
living separately from your wife for a month or
6:40
two. I don't really care
6:42
if your marriage doesn't survive that as long as
6:45
you do. Not the asshole, look
6:47
after yourself. You can't live if your heart
6:49
gives out. One more comment
6:51
from Formica, he says technically we're all
6:53
replaceable. You still don't say that
6:55
to someone you supposedly love. I
6:58
hope he gives the first little update and says I've
7:01
decided to separate for a month. We will
7:03
go to a counselor and speak maybe one
7:05
to two times a week. If she cares
7:07
about me, she will accept it and do
7:09
everything she can to improve our relationship and
7:11
marriage. If she starts playing around,
7:13
going on dates or if I suspect her of
7:15
cheating, I will end it. There
7:18
won't be any forgiveness or second chances
7:20
or make an update post sometime in the future.
7:23
So many of you reached out and offered support
7:25
and advice. I think the least I can do
7:27
is provide you with an update. Thank
7:29
you all very much. Six
7:33
weeks later, OP comes in with another
7:35
update and says as promised, here's an
7:37
update on my situation. I won't go
7:39
into much detail, just the most important
7:41
things. Physically, I'm doing
7:43
great. I started working out again, although
7:45
at a slower pace than before. With
7:48
time it will get better. Separation
7:50
really helped me a lot. Firstly,
7:53
I might sound selfish, but
7:55
I only worried about myself, so I did
7:57
everything for myself. At first it was
7:59
a different feeling. I felt alone for
8:02
the first time in a really long time and I
8:04
needed a few days to get used to it. After
8:07
I got used to it, it was actually quite nice.
8:09
I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I
8:11
wanted. I bought myself a lot
8:14
of things, redecorated a bit, changed some
8:16
old things and honestly, I liked it.
8:18
There was no stress, no arguments, no
8:21
problems. It was peaceful and quiet.
8:23
I got myself a cat and the two of us
8:25
get along really well. I
8:28
spoke to my wife on a weekly basis. We
8:30
also went to a counselor which really changed a
8:32
lot of things. Whenever we went
8:34
there, I laid all the cards on the table. I
8:37
was really honest, maybe too honest and I
8:39
said a lot of things that had accumulated
8:41
over time. Every annoyance, issue,
8:43
pretty much everything I thought could be
8:45
way better. My wife
8:47
took the separation really hard. It
8:50
was really bad. For the first few
8:52
days she was fine or she pretended to be.
8:54
As time progressed, it was clear she wasn't
8:56
doing well. What I did was whenever we
8:59
went to a counselor, I focused
9:01
on only trying to figure out my marriage and
9:03
issues with it. But as soon as
9:05
I left the counselor, I checked out. Like
9:07
a switch. I didn't want to bring any of
9:10
it home and disturb my peace. My
9:13
wife also started individual therapy for her
9:15
own mental health and issues that had
9:17
been present for some time. I
9:20
asked her if she cheated on me and
9:22
honestly, I expected some outburst of rage or
9:24
yelling. But there wasn't any of it. She
9:27
was really sweet and told me no and
9:29
that she understands why I might think that
9:31
and she offered a phone and her social media accounts
9:33
for me to check. For some reason,
9:36
I decided to be a dick and I told
9:38
her that maybe she deleted and covered her tracks.
9:40
She had no proof of anything. Again,
9:43
no yelling or anything. Just really sad
9:45
looking her eyes. I realized
9:47
that I went too far and I
9:50
apologized. Time passed and I decided to let
9:52
it go. So I told her
9:54
that I forgive her and that I will give
9:56
her another chance. Honestly, I
9:58
wanted some form of revenge. but while
10:00
a revenge might be sweet, everything after
10:02
it is bitter. I also told her
10:04
that I won't forget her words. Anyway,
10:07
she came back to my house and everything
10:10
changed. No longer am I doing
10:12
most of the stuff. She now works just as
10:14
hard, maybe even more than me, and
10:16
she doesn't allow me to do certain things,
10:18
much to my annoyance. I
10:21
will continue going to a counselor for a little bit
10:23
longer, and she is still going to
10:25
her individual therapy. While I
10:27
liked being alone, I truly missed her. I
10:29
missed her hair, her smile, her eyes, and
10:32
now I find myself looking at her and
10:34
paying attention to everything she does. I guess
10:37
separation made us appreciate each other way
10:39
more than before. Maybe we
10:41
took each other for granted, and we didn't
10:43
value each other until we split. I
10:46
think we fell in love again. I can't
10:48
describe it, but each hug, each
10:50
touch feels different, like it radiates
10:52
with sincerity and love. As
10:55
for the future, I'm planning a trip in secret
10:57
as a surprise, so we can go out of
10:59
town for a few days, just the two of
11:02
us. Time alone really helped me relax and not
11:04
worry about unimportant things. I focused
11:06
on myself and what I want, what I want
11:08
my marriage to be and my life. So
11:11
now I'm going to work towards that. We
11:13
really learned to communicate much better than
11:15
before. We became much more open
11:17
towards each other, more vulnerable. I think
11:20
it will help us going forward. I
11:22
guess after all, it turns out that I'm
11:24
not so easily replaceable. And
11:27
on the back of that, OptimalSuper says, happy
11:29
to hear you guys are able to work
11:31
things out. It was tough tunnels to go
11:33
through, but the relationship seems to have gotten
11:35
stronger on the other side and that's awesome.
11:37
It was a blessing in disguise. Hopi says
11:39
we are still working on it and we will continue
11:41
to do so. Things are way better
11:43
than they used to be. There are still some
11:46
differences in things we need to work on, or at
11:48
least find a middle ground, which will
11:50
probably be resolved in future counselling
11:52
sessions. Interesting update and
11:54
you know, I'm super glad that Opi's
11:56
health initially is in the right
11:58
place in the relationship. is
12:00
moving towards a better place as well and that
12:03
they do value each other in a different way
12:05
than they did before or maybe a rekindled way
12:07
or something like that. As
12:09
I was first going through the update I thought
12:11
oh they're not going to last and because Opie's
12:13
found this freedom and they was really enjoying it
12:15
so I thought when they got to that counseling
12:17
session and Opie was bringing
12:20
up her potentially cheating on him I thought
12:22
it was like you know his way of getting
12:24
out of that relationship if you like you know
12:26
just saying I want out of
12:28
this kind of thing I don't really want us to
12:31
be together anymore but you know they did get together
12:33
but that's how it made me feel as I
12:36
was reading that initial update but now I'm
12:38
gonna turn this one to you guys what
12:40
do you guys make of this situation let
12:42
me know your thoughts down in the comments
12:44
below and let's move on to another story.
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our next story comes from largeknowledge1699 and says
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am I the asshole
13:57
here for calling divorce immediately
13:59
after finding out my wife emotionally cheated
14:01
on me. I found
14:04
out my wife was cheating on me emotionally
14:06
last week. I found it through a
14:08
notification when she was in the show. We
14:11
were both 33 and married for six years.
14:13
In my eyes, everything was good. Funny
14:15
how one can hide their betrayal without
14:18
the other party noticing. I
14:20
confronted her right away and told her to open
14:22
the phone to show me the messages. She
14:25
refused at first but gave up after I told
14:27
her we're getting a divorce. The texts
14:29
were not that old and there were not many. It
14:32
was obvious most of the texts were deleted. I asked
14:35
her questions about the affair. Why,
14:37
who, where and how. I will
14:39
not go into details as I want to
14:41
stay anonymous but I was trickle-truthed in the
14:44
end. She got caught in trickle-truth
14:46
me. I do not believe her
14:48
in what she said about the extent they went.
14:50
At the beginning of our relationship I made it
14:53
very clear that cheating in any form is a
14:55
relationship ender. I told her to
14:57
get a lawyer because we're getting a divorce. She
14:59
asked me for marriage counselling, promised to change
15:01
and even make her life completely dependent on
15:04
me, leave the job, not leave the house
15:06
and give me all of her digital devices.
15:09
I told her where marriage counselling would help was
15:11
before she decided to have an affair. We
15:14
could go to marriage counselling and solve
15:16
the problem there by talking, whichever problem
15:18
she had. Instead, she went on to
15:20
have an emotional affair and make sure
15:22
to actively hide things from me by
15:24
deleting texts and trickle-truthing. I
15:26
reminded her of my boundaries and what I told her about
15:28
them in the beginning of the relationship.
15:31
I will hand the divorce papers to her this
15:33
month and she's telling me to reconsider from I
15:36
the arsehole in this situation. I never
15:39
understand people like after they've done this
15:41
they've trickle-truth their way through it and
15:43
you know they finally get called out
15:45
and then they go for this desperation,
15:47
this last reach at their relationship and
15:49
they say you know you could have
15:51
complete control over me basically I won't
15:53
leave the house you can have all
15:55
my devices and you know I'll basically
15:57
serve you and it's like could you
15:59
imagine? living like that. Even for OP could
16:01
you imagine having someone around the house like
16:03
that, that is just like no way to
16:05
live is it? And something that
16:08
would never be sustainable. Like
16:10
with a lot of these stories that I
16:12
read once the trust is gone, how do
16:14
you ever get that back and you know
16:16
trickle truthing even makes it in some way
16:19
worse does it? Because it's just like a
16:21
series of lies one after the other that
16:23
you're having to force out of this person.
16:25
But Lex says not the asshole, the trickle
16:27
truth is the problem that makes reconciliation a
16:30
non-starter. You can't trust her. All
16:32
the things she's willing to do now are band-aids.
16:34
Who wants to be married with someone who can't
16:36
have a life outside of you because they may
16:38
cheat again. She made her choice,
16:40
don't let her drag out the inevitable. Blue
16:43
Green says not the asshole, you clearly stated
16:45
a boundary and what the consequences would be.
16:48
Now she's shocked that you actually meant what
16:50
you said. Divorce her and get her out
16:52
of your house. And I know
16:54
this isn't the point but I think a
16:56
boundary about cheating or emotionally cheating isn't something
16:59
that really needs to be discussed in the
17:01
first place anyway. It should be just a
17:03
given right? It's not like she could have
17:05
turned around and said wow we didn't discuss this
17:07
at the start. But humble guidance says
17:09
I've been married for 36 years.
17:12
Trust and love are the currencies of
17:14
a successful relationship. If you don't think
17:16
that you can ever trust her again then leave.
17:18
If you still love her, want to save
17:20
the marriage then try therapy. Only
17:22
you know what you feel strongest about. I wish
17:24
you luck and joy. And a final
17:27
comment from Bored at home who says not the
17:29
asshole she wants you to reconsider because she hadn't
17:31
gone far enough with her affair partner to know
17:33
that he would take her after you divorced. You've
17:36
only been married 6 years so if she's invested
17:38
in her emotions with someone else then marriage is
17:40
doomed. If this affair ends, what's going
17:43
to stop the next one? Unless
17:45
you become her jailer. But no,
17:47
that's a doomed marriage. So
17:49
OP comes in with an update and
17:51
says it's 100% divorce now. I think
17:54
I was looking to relax and validate my logic
17:57
with that post. Love is there but
17:59
trust is being made. broken. My heart
18:01
told me to have hope, but my logic
18:03
told me divorce. Logic won in
18:05
the end. It's been over a week now
18:07
and I still do not get the full information about the
18:09
affair. Yesterday night and this morning
18:12
after the post I came to learn new
18:14
information about the affair. I'm still
18:16
not sure if it's the full extent. To
18:18
clarify the emotional affair part, they sex
18:20
did, sent nudes to each other and
18:22
there was I love who's involved. If
18:24
it's not cheating, I do not know
18:26
what it is. Whatever. I still
18:28
don't know the full truth and she
18:30
refuses disclosing who exactly the affair partner
18:32
is. My trust level for her is so
18:35
low that she could say Sky is blue
18:37
and I would doubt it. This
18:39
relationship is just over. Dead.
18:41
I would go ahead with a divorce
18:43
as soon as possible so I can process my
18:45
feelings alone after she leaves. Some
18:47
people told me I would not be able to find anyone at 33
18:50
as a male. This is
18:52
the last thing I worry about after divorce. First
18:55
thing is to get over the relationship and
18:57
put myself together better than ever. I'm
18:59
planning starting individual therapy right after I sort
19:01
things out. Second date after that
19:04
easily. Hope seeing you with a happy divorce
19:06
update and in a better mood. Who
19:09
the fucks telling OP that he won't find anyone
19:11
at 33. The absolute burks.
19:13
You will OP and I do wish
19:15
you all the best going forward.
19:17
I'm sorry for what you're going through.
19:20
And like you said, without the trust, the
19:23
fact that she won't disclose any information
19:25
now still says an absolute lot. She
19:27
was throwing everything at you in the
19:29
very first post. She would stay home,
19:31
you can have her phone, etc
19:34
etc. But she won't even give you any
19:36
extra information now. Absolute bullshit and
19:38
you're better off out of it. I hope
19:40
this therapy does help you and please do
19:42
give us that update in the future and
19:45
how you're getting on. Would love to hear
19:47
it. But now what do you guys make
19:50
of this situation? Let's have
19:52
another story. And our
19:54
final story is just a cheeky little one from
19:56
the Am I the Assholes subreddit from Am I
19:58
the Asshole Car Seat Drama. says am I
20:00
the arsehole for not giving my pregnant friend a car
20:03
seat. I 26
20:05
female have a 1 year old daughter,
20:07
she is still using her infant car
20:09
seat, however we were hit about a
20:11
month ago and while we weren't hurt I
20:13
no longer felt like the car seat was safe
20:15
so I replaced it. My
20:17
pregnant friend and 24 female
20:20
asked if she could have the car
20:22
seat since I was just throwing it
20:24
out anyway, oh no no no no
20:26
no, they explained the car seats are
20:28
made to withstand one accident and I
20:30
didn't think it was safe for my
20:32
daughter or hers. She is
20:34
a known dumpster diver so I wrote on the
20:36
car seat in a permanent marker that it was
20:38
in a car accident and I took
20:40
out the straps when I threw it away so it
20:42
wasn't usable and kept them to throw away later. Anne
20:45
went through my trash and called me selfish
20:48
for wasting a perfectly good car seat and
20:50
said I haven't been helpful to her at
20:52
all. I organised her baby
20:54
shower, gave her a lot of my
20:56
daughter's old clothes except for sentimental outfits
20:58
because she asked, commissioned baby blankets and
21:00
two outfits from a friend of mine
21:03
whose work she likes, helped her around
21:05
the house etc. I've tried
21:07
my best, I don't feel like not
21:09
wanting to risk her daughter dying makes
21:11
me the arsehole, that does it. I
21:14
don't know too much about the safety thing around
21:17
it or the intricacies of it but I know
21:19
if like OP said, if these
21:21
seats have been in any accident you've got
21:23
to replace them because you don't know what
21:25
damage has been done to that seat, what
21:28
stress has been put under, if it has
21:30
weakened the material etc. As
21:33
always with reddit there's an expert
21:35
in the comments, so kittenhyber says,
21:37
not the arsehole I'm a former
21:39
licensed child passenger safety technician working
21:42
with NHTSA. You are
21:44
absolutely correct in what you told your
21:46
friend. Car seats are made to
21:49
withstand one accident after which they
21:51
need to be replaced due to potential
21:53
damage including hairline fractures and damage that
21:56
is not immediately visible, even
21:58
if they look and seem fine. An
22:00
accident means they've been through enough stress and so
22:02
are not 100% anymore, which means
22:05
they are less safe for the baby. I
22:07
hope your friend has come round and listened to you,
22:09
since you only have her and her baby's well being
22:11
in mind. Car seats may
22:14
be expensive, yes, but there is no price
22:16
worth of babies left and safety. I
22:20
don't think we really need to cover any more comments on
22:22
that. I did have a scout through just to see if
22:24
there was like any differing opinions,
22:26
see if anyone said
22:28
you're the asshole, but there wasn't so I'll be
22:30
interested to know if any of you guys have
22:32
a different opinion on that matter. But
22:35
now I'm going to turn this one to you guys,
22:37
what do you guys make of it, let us know
22:39
your thoughts and just a huge thank you from the
22:41
bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.
22:43
Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute
22:45
world to me and that is the
22:48
absolute truth and if you do
22:50
have a moment and you haven't as yet, if
22:52
you wouldn't mind clicking that like button. I know
22:54
I say it every single episode but I can't
22:56
tell you the difference it does make to the
22:58
channel, you know that interaction, it all helps boost
23:00
these videos and you know keeps me going basically.
23:03
So thank you so much and I'll see you
23:05
in the next one, take care and
23:07
much love. Have
23:36
a catch yourself eating the same flavorless dinner three
23:38
days in a row, dreaming of something
23:40
better. Well, HelloFresh is
23:42
your guilt free dream come true baby.
23:44
It's me, Geeky Palmer. Let's
23:46
wake up those taste buds with hot
23:49
juicy pecan crusted chicken or garlic butter
23:51
shrimp scampi. HelloFresh.
23:54
Stop Stop dreaming of
23:57
all the delicious possibilities and dig
23:59
in at hellofresh.com. Let's
24:01
get this dinner party started. Question
24:12
one and your starter for a perfect ten
24:15
was this. How many different colors
24:17
are on the national flag of Greece? And
24:19
the answer is there are two colors and they
24:21
are blue and red.
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