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My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

Released Wednesday, 8th May 2024
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My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

Wednesday, 8th May 2024
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Episode Transcript

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Hey hey Waffle Gang, I do hope

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today we're checking out some more Reddit

0:44

stories and if you do love a

0:46

Reddit story why not consider hitting that

0:48

like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too

0:50

and let's crack on with today's first

0:52

story. Much love to

0:54

you guys and today's first

0:56

story comes from the mi-wrong

0:58

subreddit from chimney4684 and says,

1:00

my wife told me I'm

1:02

replaceable. I,

1:05

30 male, have been married to my

1:07

wife, 29 female, for two

1:09

years and we've known each other for

1:11

six. A few weeks ago

1:13

we had an argument and during our disagreement

1:15

she told me that I am replaceable. After

1:19

our argument she went out with her friends. I've

1:22

been dealing with some health problems for

1:24

a while and the argument stressed me

1:26

out, leaving me nervous and unwell. I

1:29

was alone in the house and decided to call

1:31

the paramedics because I felt that something was really

1:33

wrong. To sum up, I

1:35

suffered a heart attack. In

1:38

the hospital they tried to reach my wife

1:40

but she didn't respond. Like

1:42

Lee still upset from our argument. She

1:44

called later after coming home when she found

1:46

out I'm not there. After

1:48

learning of my condition she came to see me

1:50

and stayed with me the entire time, constantly

1:53

crying and holding my hands. After

1:55

being sent home she did everything so I

1:58

could recover faster. However, the story spite

2:00

her efforts, I couldn't stop thinking about how

2:02

she had told me that I'm replaceable. I

2:05

constantly think about it. I want

2:07

to confront her about it, but I don't think

2:09

I'm ready. I'm trying to

2:11

understand why context matters. And

2:14

what way your situation is acceptable

2:16

to call your partner replaceable. Your

2:19

dacity to even say something like that

2:21

is beyond me. I

2:23

will answer some things here. We

2:25

have no children. I have

2:27

genetic health problems. External factors also

2:30

contributed to my problems. I

2:32

have a higher salary than her, so I mostly

2:34

pay the bills or buy things for our home.

2:37

I mostly cook and clean. She does

2:40

it too, but mostly me. It's not 50-50, more like

2:42

60-40. She

2:45

isn't actively trying to kill me. I

2:47

hope so at least. I don't know if she

2:49

has a fuck buddy. Let's also

2:51

address the elephant in the room. We had an

2:53

argument about our house. Some issues

2:55

with it. After that, we

2:58

also discussed our priorities, careers and intimacy.

3:00

At one point, discussion was replaced by

3:02

her venting and saying things not even

3:04

related to the original discussion. I had

3:07

no issues with her ranting about things until

3:09

she told me that I'm replaceable.

3:12

That was the end of the conversation. I

3:14

no longer wanted to talk. She

3:16

finds my silence terrifying, but she didn't stay in

3:18

the house for long after the argument. I didn't

3:21

know when she came home. I

3:23

woke up in the hospital and she was there. She

3:26

kept crying and holding my hands. She

3:28

didn't speak much. She couldn't. On

3:30

the side note, some people in the comment

3:33

section have some issues themselves. Like some of

3:35

the comments are just wild. Horrifying.

3:38

As usual. But there's being angry in

3:40

the moment and then they're saying something

3:42

that's cruel and what she said was

3:45

absolutely cruel. And like yourself, I

3:47

don't know how I would look

3:50

past that. It's

3:52

something that would always sit in your mind.

3:54

I mean, why wouldn't it be told that

3:56

you are replaceable? I mean, it could be,

3:58

you know, something that she didn't really mean

4:00

in the heat of the moment kind of stuff.

4:04

I could never imagine saying something like that even in the

4:06

heat of the moment. But

4:08

there was a highly upvoted comment

4:10

that everyone was pointing out. Pretty

4:13

pandemonium said, my husband once

4:15

said to me, wives are replaceable,

4:17

mothers are not, mum will always

4:19

win. Within the year,

4:21

our 9 year marriage collapsed. The

4:23

context was finding out how deeply involved

4:25

his mother was in our marriage, arguments,

4:27

decisions etc. We were not

4:30

arguing but having a discussion about how it

4:32

wasn't right to basically have a third person

4:34

in the marriage, that it was between the

4:36

two of us. The way I found

4:38

out was during a discussion about investments we had

4:40

made. I got up from the

4:42

table we were talking at and found his phone

4:44

on the counter with mum showing on screen. He'd

4:47

call her and have her listen in to our discussion,

4:50

so he could take it to her after we were done.

4:53

I disconnected the call without comment

4:55

and she called back immediately. He

4:58

vehemently disagreed that it wasn't right and

5:00

made that statement to me, basically stating

5:02

that it was he and his mum

5:04

against me and I'd always lose, while

5:07

she was still on the phone listening in. It

5:10

was like a gut punch. It opened

5:12

my eyes to a lot of little things

5:14

that eventually led to crying for divorce. He

5:17

was stunned. His mum called me

5:19

and immediately said, you can't do that. Oh

5:22

yes, I can and did. As

5:24

a petty move I served his mother the

5:26

divorce papers at the same time, so she

5:29

could be involved in a divorce. Law. $50

5:32

well spent in my opinion. She came

5:34

to our hearing and was so vocal about what

5:36

she thought was right and wrong, and the

5:38

judge ordered her out of the courtroom. Law.

5:42

He's her full time problem now. They've

5:44

been living together since the separation

5:46

and she's miserable about it. They

5:48

deserve each other. Holy

5:50

moly a story within a story. I can

5:53

see why that was upvoted. Nearly

5:55

pointless says you can forgive her for what she

5:58

said, but you will never forget how she made

6:00

you feel in the moment. This is

6:02

why we don't name call or let our

6:04

anger overwhelm our kindness. It's okay

6:06

to be angry but to be cruel

6:08

is not acceptable. Tiny ad

6:10

says I think you need to space my friend

6:13

to think this all through. What she

6:15

said can't be put back into the bottle. Even

6:17

if said in anger, even if she

6:20

didn't mean it, you'll never 100% know.

6:22

Clearly your health will be better without this level

6:24

of stress. I don't know what is

6:26

causing your heart problems, whether it's fitness, diet

6:28

or just a heart condition but clearly

6:31

you need time to rest, mentally and

6:33

physically and build up some cardiac resilience.

6:36

I strongly suggest listening to your doctors and potentially

6:38

living separately from your wife for a month or

6:40

two. I don't really care

6:42

if your marriage doesn't survive that as long as

6:45

you do. Not the asshole, look

6:47

after yourself. You can't live if your heart

6:49

gives out. One more comment

6:51

from Formica, he says technically we're all

6:53

replaceable. You still don't say that

6:55

to someone you supposedly love. I

6:58

hope he gives the first little update and says I've

7:01

decided to separate for a month. We will

7:03

go to a counselor and speak maybe one

7:05

to two times a week. If she cares

7:07

about me, she will accept it and do

7:09

everything she can to improve our relationship and

7:11

marriage. If she starts playing around,

7:13

going on dates or if I suspect her of

7:15

cheating, I will end it. There

7:18

won't be any forgiveness or second chances

7:20

or make an update post sometime in the future.

7:23

So many of you reached out and offered support

7:25

and advice. I think the least I can do

7:27

is provide you with an update. Thank

7:29

you all very much. Six

7:33

weeks later, OP comes in with another

7:35

update and says as promised, here's an

7:37

update on my situation. I won't go

7:39

into much detail, just the most important

7:41

things. Physically, I'm doing

7:43

great. I started working out again, although

7:45

at a slower pace than before. With

7:48

time it will get better. Separation

7:50

really helped me a lot. Firstly,

7:53

I might sound selfish, but

7:55

I only worried about myself, so I did

7:57

everything for myself. At first it was

7:59

a different feeling. I felt alone for

8:02

the first time in a really long time and I

8:04

needed a few days to get used to it. After

8:07

I got used to it, it was actually quite nice.

8:09

I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I

8:11

wanted. I bought myself a lot

8:14

of things, redecorated a bit, changed some

8:16

old things and honestly, I liked it.

8:18

There was no stress, no arguments, no

8:21

problems. It was peaceful and quiet.

8:23

I got myself a cat and the two of us

8:25

get along really well. I

8:28

spoke to my wife on a weekly basis. We

8:30

also went to a counselor which really changed a

8:32

lot of things. Whenever we went

8:34

there, I laid all the cards on the table. I

8:37

was really honest, maybe too honest and I

8:39

said a lot of things that had accumulated

8:41

over time. Every annoyance, issue,

8:43

pretty much everything I thought could be

8:45

way better. My wife

8:47

took the separation really hard. It

8:50

was really bad. For the first few

8:52

days she was fine or she pretended to be.

8:54

As time progressed, it was clear she wasn't

8:56

doing well. What I did was whenever we

8:59

went to a counselor, I focused

9:01

on only trying to figure out my marriage and

9:03

issues with it. But as soon as

9:05

I left the counselor, I checked out. Like

9:07

a switch. I didn't want to bring any of

9:10

it home and disturb my peace. My

9:13

wife also started individual therapy for her

9:15

own mental health and issues that had

9:17

been present for some time. I

9:20

asked her if she cheated on me and

9:22

honestly, I expected some outburst of rage or

9:24

yelling. But there wasn't any of it. She

9:27

was really sweet and told me no and

9:29

that she understands why I might think that

9:31

and she offered a phone and her social media accounts

9:33

for me to check. For some reason,

9:36

I decided to be a dick and I told

9:38

her that maybe she deleted and covered her tracks.

9:40

She had no proof of anything. Again,

9:43

no yelling or anything. Just really sad

9:45

looking her eyes. I realized

9:47

that I went too far and I

9:50

apologized. Time passed and I decided to let

9:52

it go. So I told her

9:54

that I forgive her and that I will give

9:56

her another chance. Honestly, I

9:58

wanted some form of revenge. but while

10:00

a revenge might be sweet, everything after

10:02

it is bitter. I also told her

10:04

that I won't forget her words. Anyway,

10:07

she came back to my house and everything

10:10

changed. No longer am I doing

10:12

most of the stuff. She now works just as

10:14

hard, maybe even more than me, and

10:16

she doesn't allow me to do certain things,

10:18

much to my annoyance. I

10:21

will continue going to a counselor for a little bit

10:23

longer, and she is still going to

10:25

her individual therapy. While I

10:27

liked being alone, I truly missed her. I

10:29

missed her hair, her smile, her eyes, and

10:32

now I find myself looking at her and

10:34

paying attention to everything she does. I guess

10:37

separation made us appreciate each other way

10:39

more than before. Maybe we

10:41

took each other for granted, and we didn't

10:43

value each other until we split. I

10:46

think we fell in love again. I can't

10:48

describe it, but each hug, each

10:50

touch feels different, like it radiates

10:52

with sincerity and love. As

10:55

for the future, I'm planning a trip in secret

10:57

as a surprise, so we can go out of

10:59

town for a few days, just the two of

11:02

us. Time alone really helped me relax and not

11:04

worry about unimportant things. I focused

11:06

on myself and what I want, what I want

11:08

my marriage to be and my life. So

11:11

now I'm going to work towards that. We

11:13

really learned to communicate much better than

11:15

before. We became much more open

11:17

towards each other, more vulnerable. I think

11:20

it will help us going forward. I

11:22

guess after all, it turns out that I'm

11:24

not so easily replaceable. And

11:27

on the back of that, OptimalSuper says, happy

11:29

to hear you guys are able to work

11:31

things out. It was tough tunnels to go

11:33

through, but the relationship seems to have gotten

11:35

stronger on the other side and that's awesome.

11:37

It was a blessing in disguise. Hopi says

11:39

we are still working on it and we will continue

11:41

to do so. Things are way better

11:43

than they used to be. There are still some

11:46

differences in things we need to work on, or at

11:48

least find a middle ground, which will

11:50

probably be resolved in future counselling

11:52

sessions. Interesting update and

11:54

you know, I'm super glad that Opi's

11:56

health initially is in the right

11:58

place in the relationship. is

12:00

moving towards a better place as well and that

12:03

they do value each other in a different way

12:05

than they did before or maybe a rekindled way

12:07

or something like that. As

12:09

I was first going through the update I thought

12:11

oh they're not going to last and because Opie's

12:13

found this freedom and they was really enjoying it

12:15

so I thought when they got to that counseling

12:17

session and Opie was bringing

12:20

up her potentially cheating on him I thought

12:22

it was like you know his way of getting

12:24

out of that relationship if you like you know

12:26

just saying I want out of

12:28

this kind of thing I don't really want us to

12:31

be together anymore but you know they did get together

12:33

but that's how it made me feel as I

12:36

was reading that initial update but now I'm

12:38

gonna turn this one to you guys what

12:40

do you guys make of this situation let

12:42

me know your thoughts down in the comments

12:44

below and let's move on to another story.

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our next story comes from largeknowledge1699 and says

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am I the asshole

13:57

here for calling divorce immediately

13:59

after finding out my wife emotionally cheated

14:01

on me. I found

14:04

out my wife was cheating on me emotionally

14:06

last week. I found it through a

14:08

notification when she was in the show. We

14:11

were both 33 and married for six years.

14:13

In my eyes, everything was good. Funny

14:15

how one can hide their betrayal without

14:18

the other party noticing. I

14:20

confronted her right away and told her to open

14:22

the phone to show me the messages. She

14:25

refused at first but gave up after I told

14:27

her we're getting a divorce. The texts

14:29

were not that old and there were not many. It

14:32

was obvious most of the texts were deleted. I asked

14:35

her questions about the affair. Why,

14:37

who, where and how. I will

14:39

not go into details as I want to

14:41

stay anonymous but I was trickle-truthed in the

14:44

end. She got caught in trickle-truth

14:46

me. I do not believe her

14:48

in what she said about the extent they went.

14:50

At the beginning of our relationship I made it

14:53

very clear that cheating in any form is a

14:55

relationship ender. I told her to

14:57

get a lawyer because we're getting a divorce. She

14:59

asked me for marriage counselling, promised to change

15:01

and even make her life completely dependent on

15:04

me, leave the job, not leave the house

15:06

and give me all of her digital devices.

15:09

I told her where marriage counselling would help was

15:11

before she decided to have an affair. We

15:14

could go to marriage counselling and solve

15:16

the problem there by talking, whichever problem

15:18

she had. Instead, she went on to

15:20

have an emotional affair and make sure

15:22

to actively hide things from me by

15:24

deleting texts and trickle-truthing. I

15:26

reminded her of my boundaries and what I told her about

15:28

them in the beginning of the relationship.

15:31

I will hand the divorce papers to her this

15:33

month and she's telling me to reconsider from I

15:36

the arsehole in this situation. I never

15:39

understand people like after they've done this

15:41

they've trickle-truth their way through it and

15:43

you know they finally get called out

15:45

and then they go for this desperation,

15:47

this last reach at their relationship and

15:49

they say you know you could have

15:51

complete control over me basically I won't

15:53

leave the house you can have all

15:55

my devices and you know I'll basically

15:57

serve you and it's like could you

15:59

imagine? living like that. Even for OP could

16:01

you imagine having someone around the house like

16:03

that, that is just like no way to

16:05

live is it? And something that

16:08

would never be sustainable. Like

16:10

with a lot of these stories that I

16:12

read once the trust is gone, how do

16:14

you ever get that back and you know

16:16

trickle truthing even makes it in some way

16:19

worse does it? Because it's just like a

16:21

series of lies one after the other that

16:23

you're having to force out of this person.

16:25

But Lex says not the asshole, the trickle

16:27

truth is the problem that makes reconciliation a

16:30

non-starter. You can't trust her. All

16:32

the things she's willing to do now are band-aids.

16:34

Who wants to be married with someone who can't

16:36

have a life outside of you because they may

16:38

cheat again. She made her choice,

16:40

don't let her drag out the inevitable. Blue

16:43

Green says not the asshole, you clearly stated

16:45

a boundary and what the consequences would be.

16:48

Now she's shocked that you actually meant what

16:50

you said. Divorce her and get her out

16:52

of your house. And I know

16:54

this isn't the point but I think a

16:56

boundary about cheating or emotionally cheating isn't something

16:59

that really needs to be discussed in the

17:01

first place anyway. It should be just a

17:03

given right? It's not like she could have

17:05

turned around and said wow we didn't discuss this

17:07

at the start. But humble guidance says

17:09

I've been married for 36 years.

17:12

Trust and love are the currencies of

17:14

a successful relationship. If you don't think

17:16

that you can ever trust her again then leave.

17:18

If you still love her, want to save

17:20

the marriage then try therapy. Only

17:22

you know what you feel strongest about. I wish

17:24

you luck and joy. And a final

17:27

comment from Bored at home who says not the

17:29

asshole she wants you to reconsider because she hadn't

17:31

gone far enough with her affair partner to know

17:33

that he would take her after you divorced. You've

17:36

only been married 6 years so if she's invested

17:38

in her emotions with someone else then marriage is

17:40

doomed. If this affair ends, what's going

17:43

to stop the next one? Unless

17:45

you become her jailer. But no,

17:47

that's a doomed marriage. So

17:49

OP comes in with an update and

17:51

says it's 100% divorce now. I think

17:54

I was looking to relax and validate my logic

17:57

with that post. Love is there but

17:59

trust is being made. broken. My heart

18:01

told me to have hope, but my logic

18:03

told me divorce. Logic won in

18:05

the end. It's been over a week now

18:07

and I still do not get the full information about the

18:09

affair. Yesterday night and this morning

18:12

after the post I came to learn new

18:14

information about the affair. I'm still

18:16

not sure if it's the full extent. To

18:18

clarify the emotional affair part, they sex

18:20

did, sent nudes to each other and

18:22

there was I love who's involved. If

18:24

it's not cheating, I do not know

18:26

what it is. Whatever. I still

18:28

don't know the full truth and she

18:30

refuses disclosing who exactly the affair partner

18:32

is. My trust level for her is so

18:35

low that she could say Sky is blue

18:37

and I would doubt it. This

18:39

relationship is just over. Dead.

18:41

I would go ahead with a divorce

18:43

as soon as possible so I can process my

18:45

feelings alone after she leaves. Some

18:47

people told me I would not be able to find anyone at 33

18:50

as a male. This is

18:52

the last thing I worry about after divorce. First

18:55

thing is to get over the relationship and

18:57

put myself together better than ever. I'm

18:59

planning starting individual therapy right after I sort

19:01

things out. Second date after that

19:04

easily. Hope seeing you with a happy divorce

19:06

update and in a better mood. Who

19:09

the fucks telling OP that he won't find anyone

19:11

at 33. The absolute burks.

19:13

You will OP and I do wish

19:15

you all the best going forward.

19:17

I'm sorry for what you're going through.

19:20

And like you said, without the trust, the

19:23

fact that she won't disclose any information

19:25

now still says an absolute lot. She

19:27

was throwing everything at you in the

19:29

very first post. She would stay home,

19:31

you can have her phone, etc

19:34

etc. But she won't even give you any

19:36

extra information now. Absolute bullshit and

19:38

you're better off out of it. I hope

19:40

this therapy does help you and please do

19:42

give us that update in the future and

19:45

how you're getting on. Would love to hear

19:47

it. But now what do you guys make

19:50

of this situation? Let's have

19:52

another story. And our

19:54

final story is just a cheeky little one from

19:56

the Am I the Assholes subreddit from Am I

19:58

the Asshole Car Seat Drama. says am I

20:00

the arsehole for not giving my pregnant friend a car

20:03

seat. I 26

20:05

female have a 1 year old daughter,

20:07

she is still using her infant car

20:09

seat, however we were hit about a

20:11

month ago and while we weren't hurt I

20:13

no longer felt like the car seat was safe

20:15

so I replaced it. My

20:17

pregnant friend and 24 female

20:20

asked if she could have the car

20:22

seat since I was just throwing it

20:24

out anyway, oh no no no no

20:26

no, they explained the car seats are

20:28

made to withstand one accident and I

20:30

didn't think it was safe for my

20:32

daughter or hers. She is

20:34

a known dumpster diver so I wrote on the

20:36

car seat in a permanent marker that it was

20:38

in a car accident and I took

20:40

out the straps when I threw it away so it

20:42

wasn't usable and kept them to throw away later. Anne

20:45

went through my trash and called me selfish

20:48

for wasting a perfectly good car seat and

20:50

said I haven't been helpful to her at

20:52

all. I organised her baby

20:54

shower, gave her a lot of my

20:56

daughter's old clothes except for sentimental outfits

20:58

because she asked, commissioned baby blankets and

21:00

two outfits from a friend of mine

21:03

whose work she likes, helped her around

21:05

the house etc. I've tried

21:07

my best, I don't feel like not

21:09

wanting to risk her daughter dying makes

21:11

me the arsehole, that does it. I

21:14

don't know too much about the safety thing around

21:17

it or the intricacies of it but I know

21:19

if like OP said, if these

21:21

seats have been in any accident you've got

21:23

to replace them because you don't know what

21:25

damage has been done to that seat, what

21:28

stress has been put under, if it has

21:30

weakened the material etc. As

21:33

always with reddit there's an expert

21:35

in the comments, so kittenhyber says,

21:37

not the arsehole I'm a former

21:39

licensed child passenger safety technician working

21:42

with NHTSA. You are

21:44

absolutely correct in what you told your

21:46

friend. Car seats are made to

21:49

withstand one accident after which they

21:51

need to be replaced due to potential

21:53

damage including hairline fractures and damage that

21:56

is not immediately visible, even

21:58

if they look and seem fine. An

22:00

accident means they've been through enough stress and so

22:02

are not 100% anymore, which means

22:05

they are less safe for the baby. I

22:07

hope your friend has come round and listened to you,

22:09

since you only have her and her baby's well being

22:11

in mind. Car seats may

22:14

be expensive, yes, but there is no price

22:16

worth of babies left and safety. I

22:20

don't think we really need to cover any more comments on

22:22

that. I did have a scout through just to see if

22:24

there was like any differing opinions,

22:26

see if anyone said

22:28

you're the asshole, but there wasn't so I'll be

22:30

interested to know if any of you guys have

22:32

a different opinion on that matter. But

22:35

now I'm going to turn this one to you guys,

22:37

what do you guys make of it, let us know

22:39

your thoughts and just a huge thank you from the

22:41

bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

22:43

Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute

22:45

world to me and that is the

22:48

absolute truth and if you do

22:50

have a moment and you haven't as yet, if

22:52

you wouldn't mind clicking that like button. I know

22:54

I say it every single episode but I can't

22:56

tell you the difference it does make to the

22:58

channel, you know that interaction, it all helps boost

23:00

these videos and you know keeps me going basically.

23:03

So thank you so much and I'll see you

23:05

in the next one, take care and

23:07

much love. Have

23:36

a catch yourself eating the same flavorless dinner three

23:38

days in a row, dreaming of something

23:40

better. Well, HelloFresh is

23:42

your guilt free dream come true baby.

23:44

It's me, Geeky Palmer. Let's

23:46

wake up those taste buds with hot

23:49

juicy pecan crusted chicken or garlic butter

23:51

shrimp scampi. HelloFresh.

23:54

Stop Stop dreaming of

23:57

all the delicious possibilities and dig

23:59

in at hellofresh.com. Let's

24:01

get this dinner party started. Question

24:12

one and your starter for a perfect ten

24:15

was this. How many different colors

24:17

are on the national flag of Greece? And

24:19

the answer is there are two colors and they

24:21

are blue and red.

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