0:05

There may be a million and one reasons, or

0:07

rather excuses, why you might not be making date

0:10

night a priority in your marriage right now. Look,

0:12

we get it. Between trying to

0:14

find a trustworthy babysitter to stressing out about

0:16

finances, we often find ourselves going in and

0:18

out of seasons of intentional date nights. The

0:21

truth is, we need to be dating each other. When

0:24

we don't, we tend to feel more distant and distracted.

0:27

We let the cares of whatever is current take over

0:29

our emotional and mental state of mind. Being

0:31

able to date each other reminds us to focus

0:33

on each other, to have fun regardless of

0:36

our circumstances, and to carve out time

0:38

to talk without interruptions. Andy

0:40

Traub encourages married couples, saying, dates got you

0:42

into the place where you wanted to marry

0:44

each other. If you want to stay married,

0:46

then keep dating your spouse. Hey,

0:49

we're Andy and Jennifer Smith, your hosts of the Marriage After

0:51

God podcast. Before we jump

0:53

into this episode, I wanted to read a review that

0:55

we just got recently from a user,

0:58

Micah121. They

1:01

titled it, Love the Podcast, but one small

1:03

thing though. They said,

1:05

This podcast has been great, and

1:07

I've loved listening to your stories and love the biblical

1:09

root in everything you teach on. Just

1:12

hearing about the ups and downs of your marriage has

1:14

been great for me to know that it's okay to

1:16

have these challenges and that God is faithful to help

1:18

us grow through them. One quick

1:20

thing though to note, if you read these

1:22

reviews, the sound levels and editing could use

1:25

some tweaking. Your voices are always really

1:27

quiet, so I turn them up and then the

1:29

theme song at the end comes in and blasts

1:31

my eardrums. Hopefully this helps keep up the

1:33

good work. I

1:35

just wanted to make a note that I actually, currently

1:38

I do all the editing myself and I'm not that great

1:40

at it. So I do appreciate the

1:42

constructive criticism. It's something that I'm working on and

1:45

I will continue to get better at editing the

1:47

audio. We actually really appreciate that kind of

1:49

feedback because it helps us to make those tweaks

1:51

and figure it out. So

1:54

I appreciate it. And I've

1:56

been trying to make sure that the audio is better, so

1:58

I'll keep working on that. One last

2:00

thing though before we jump in is

2:03

today's a great day to consider planning to

2:05

start the new year off right. We

2:08

want to encourage you to order your copy and

2:10

also to order gifts for your friends of the

2:13

Marriage Gift, our newest book that came out this year.

2:15

It came out just only a couple months ago. And

2:18

we want to encourage you to join us in the 2024 Marriage

2:20

Prayer Challenge. That's right,

2:22

the Marriage Prayer Challenge. We want you to get the Marriage

2:25

Gift and we want you to read it every

2:27

day this year with your spouse. And if you

2:29

can't do it with your spouse, that you would do it alone for

2:31

your spouse. So start the new year by

2:34

committing to praying every day with your spouse and read through

2:36

our book, which consists of 365 marriage

2:38

prayers, one for every day of the year. Get

2:41

your copy today so you're ready to jump in

2:43

in 2024 with a resolution to pray for your

2:45

marriage alongside your spouse. Visit

2:47

themarriagegift.com to order your copy today.

2:50

Welcome back to another episode of the

2:53

Marriage After God podcast. Hello everyone. As

2:56

we introed today about date night,

2:58

that is the topic of today's discussion because we

3:00

find it's important in our marriage and we know

3:02

that we go in and out of seasons with

3:04

it so we thought everyone could use the encouragement.

3:07

And I love the title, 12 Dates of Christmas. I just

3:09

thought it was a funny play on the

3:12

12 days of Christmas. But before we

3:14

jump into that, let's

3:17

just catch people up on life. Yeah,

3:19

we just skipped an episode last week. We

3:21

did skip one week. That's happened a handful of times this

3:24

year, we've realized. But it's okay.

3:26

We've done more episodes this year than we've done in

3:28

past years because we've been trying to do it every

3:30

week. So that kind

3:33

of goes into what we're talking about with date night this

3:35

episode is when you

3:37

have it as a goal, as a schedule, it happens way

3:39

more than when it's kind of like, let's just do it

3:41

when we think about it. When you have a commitment

3:43

to something, it's easier to just jump back into it. This

3:46

is our 39th episode of the year. Cool.

3:49

Out of 52 weeks, that's not bad. High five. And

3:52

we have a few more episodes that we're going to do before the end of the

3:54

year. So we

3:56

missed last week and the week before that was

3:58

Thanksgiving, which was really great. our family,

4:00

my family came out to visit us and then it

4:02

was awesome. I got the smoke of Turkey again. Yeah,

4:04

it was really good. Good food. I love my smoke

4:06

Turkey. Something that was interesting for

4:08

me and I realized I wasn't alone in

4:10

this was that this last year I've

4:13

shared with you guys a little bit about just my

4:15

weight loss journey and how I've dropped

4:18

a lot of weight. And so this was

4:20

my first Thanksgiving. Um, just

4:24

being mindful of at your new self, at my

4:27

new self, but being mindful of like what I

4:29

eat and how I eat. And, um, I

4:33

not kidding you a couple of days before thought that

4:35

I was going to be sad

4:37

or feel like I missed out on the food

4:40

or, you know, just whatever was

4:42

going to be there. Yeah. But

4:45

I had a good perspective going into it and I,

4:48

you know, didn't even like restrict myself. I just

4:50

said, I'm going to enjoy the day, but kind

4:52

of fixed the no gluten and you know, um,

4:54

not eat as many treats as I normally would

4:56

have. And I felt really good. I felt good

4:58

about the choices that I made and proud of

5:00

myself, um, just for how

5:02

I took on the day. And then I was on social media

5:05

later. And, um, another person that

5:07

I follow, a Trisha Goyer, you guys might

5:09

know her, she's an author, but she's also

5:11

been sharing about her weight loss journey. And

5:13

she had the same perspective going into

5:15

Thanksgiving that, um, that

5:17

this like, she's a new person, new

5:20

self in having lost weight and not

5:22

feeling down about it. And being

5:25

able to enjoy and be present with

5:27

family and friends and, um, and

5:29

just really enjoy the day. So I love that

5:31

she shared that because then I was like, Oh,

5:33

I'm not alone in this. It was cool. It's

5:36

just a cool thing to see you grow. It's,

5:38

cause it's not just like you have these new,

5:40

like, like, Oh, I don't do that. And I

5:42

do do this. It's a, it's a whole mental

5:44

shift. Yeah. Where you can enjoy

5:47

yourself and you can enjoy

5:49

food and it's, that the foods no

5:51

longer, um, has the same, uh, hold

5:54

that it used to that same mentality because that's

5:57

what happens when we change ourselves and we make,

5:59

when we make decisions. it's

8:00

second tournament. Man, it was

8:02

a lot of fun. It was so much fun. Yeah, so much

8:04

hype. Our friends came to and so we had a huge

8:06

like cheer squad. I think

8:08

our cheer squad was allowed in the whole gym. Our

8:12

Academy, our school that we go to got

8:14

second overall in the tournament, which is really cool. So that

8:16

means all the people that came from our gym, we

8:19

did pretty good. We did well. Yeah. Me

8:21

and you got silvers in

8:23

our tournaments. Elliot got

8:25

two golds. He beat both of us. He

8:27

did two brackets. And

8:29

he beat both, which is amazing to watch. And then all

8:32

of got bronze and Wyatt got bronze. I was so proud

8:34

of Wyatt in his first time and he was so nervous.

8:36

I was so cool watching

8:38

them. It's so cool watching your kids get

8:41

good at something. Yeah, like, and actually

8:43

like want to be good at it. And Elliot's

8:45

like, I'm gonna do every tournament. I'm

8:48

like, whoa. They're all over the catcher. We're

8:50

not gonna do everyone, but we'll try and do the ones that are close

8:52

to us. Well, the next one's gonna be here. Yeah, the

8:54

next one's gonna be ready to Oregon. But I love

8:56

I think I've shared this before, but

8:58

I just love that it's been become

9:00

a family adventure, because we all

9:02

get to talk about it and join in the

9:04

fun and you and I've been excited to join

9:06

in and I don't know if I'll ever do

9:08

another competition. But I love you're gonna

9:11

live in your eye. I gotta redeem that. I had a

9:15

match that I lost that still I

9:17

wake up in the middle of the

9:19

night thinking about anyways, I love

9:21

being able to relate to my children and understand

9:23

what it feels like for them stepping out on

9:26

the mat with all these people cheering and the lights

9:28

and the rest and just have all

9:31

of it every aspect of it. I

9:33

can say guys, I know that that's really

9:35

hard to do. Yeah, so and it was a lot of

9:37

fun. Hard but fun. Okay,

9:41

so let's I think we should get into this

9:43

topic. This is 12 date night ideas for Christmas

9:45

and 12 dates of Christmas. We actually did one in

9:47

the spring. If you guys remember, we did 12 spring

9:50

date ideas. And so we

9:52

just thought, well, we can't skip over

9:54

one of the most romantic seasons of

9:57

the year. I love Christmas. I love

9:59

homework movies. I love all of it. Guys,

10:02

listen, the flickering lights,

10:04

the whimsical ballads, the gloomy

10:06

weather that makes life more moody. I

10:08

like that. I find it romantic. Dressing

10:11

up just to go to a recital. My

10:13

daughter's gonna do a dance recital and her cousins

10:15

are a part of it. And it's funny because

10:18

their costumes are just

10:20

pajamas. And so it doesn't even

10:22

feel like a real recital

10:24

like they're gonna do in the spring. But

10:26

my parents are coming out and my sister-in-law

10:28

is like, let's all dress up and go

10:30

to dinner afterwards. And just the idea of

10:32

dressing up at Christmas time, it feels so

10:34

exciting to me. It's also your birthday

10:37

month. Maybe that's why it's so

10:39

magical. You just love the December holiday. I love

10:41

all of it. If you guys don't know, Jennifer's

10:43

birthday is December 31st, which is the very

10:45

last day of the year. But she gets lumped

10:48

in with everything that's going on.

10:51

But what are we doing for your birthday this year? What did

10:53

I do? Oh, you guys. What did I help plan? I

10:55

got a massive surprise. I was so

10:57

excited. I got an invitation at my

10:59

door. It was a little

11:01

like Spider-Man figurine holding a card that

11:03

said, Jen with a ton of Marvel

11:05

balloons. And if you guys didn't

11:08

know this, I'm a Marvel fan. I like the

11:10

N.C.M. We like the superhero stuff.

11:12

Superhero stuff. And so

11:14

my friends and Aaron have created

11:17

this Marvel murder

11:19

mystery. And so they invited me

11:21

to my own party and I got to pick my character.

11:24

And then they're sending out all

11:27

the invites in the background

11:29

to characters to everyone

11:31

that's coming. And it's gonna be a murder mystery

11:33

party. I don't know what else it entails, but

11:35

I'm really excited about it. It's gonna

11:37

be a lot of fun. And there's gonna be food. That's

11:40

what is really awesome is there's gonna be food. It's

11:42

my favorite part about parties is food. So yeah,

11:45

I'm excited. I wanted to do something special for you

11:47

this year just to break up

11:49

the monotony of things. But happy

11:51

birthday. Thank you. You're

11:53

gonna be what, 21, 22? Yeah, something like

11:55

that. So

11:59

today we wanna encourage you. the smallest of date ideas to

12:02

make your marriage dreams come true to the

12:04

power of initiation. Do it guys. Yeah, taking

12:06

the steps towards it even if

12:08

it's just one intentional date night this month. Yeah.

12:12

And that's like we said, we go through seasons, Jennifer and I have

12:14

been in a season of not going on as many dates as we

12:16

usually do. Yeah, I feel

12:18

like between life and work

12:20

and parenting, like- We had a

12:22

lot to see with our book launching and not

12:25

that it's an excuse, we just, we were aware that

12:27

there was going to be less date nights. And one of

12:29

the excuses for me is like, I

12:32

get tired, like I don't want to add another

12:34

thing right now. I'm like, you have five kids

12:36

or anything. Yeah. So real

12:38

quick, what does it mean to you when we do go out? For

12:41

me, I look forward to date

12:43

nights because it is a breakup of my week. And

12:45

I actually, either it's going to be just you, which

12:47

I love, that we get to spend, it's going to

12:49

be just us, we're going to go get good food,

12:51

we're going to go spend time together, we're going to

12:54

talk, enjoy each other's company,

12:56

I love that. So

12:58

when we have a date night coming up, I just

13:00

get so excited. I'm like, oh yeah, it's something I

13:02

look forward to. But then sometimes we do it with

13:04

friends. And that's another thing because I love being with

13:06

friends. So it's

13:09

a really fun thing for me. It's

13:11

light, it gets my mind off of work and

13:14

other things. And so I really enjoy that. I

13:16

like to get out of the sweatpants and get dressed up.

13:19

Oh yeah, only a date night. Yeah,

13:21

well, just kidding. But I

13:23

know I do like to dress up. I like

13:25

to sit next to you and know

13:27

that I'm going to be close to you with no interruptions for a

13:29

while. Yeah, that is nice. It's

13:32

so nice. It's romantic. Yeah.

13:35

We get to look at each other. We also, I

13:37

just sent you a text the other day, I was

13:39

like, we need to do a date night for vision

13:42

casting. We need to like sit down. Something that we

13:44

usually do, but even just texting me that

13:46

made me excited and started, like

13:48

I started looking forward to it. Yeah. I

13:50

just want to sit down and again,

13:53

this goes back to one of the other benefits of date night

13:55

is that intentional focus time

13:57

of like, let's talk about us. Let's

14:00

talk about the things that we haven't talked about in a while. Let's

14:03

talk about how our parenting is going. Let's talk about what

14:05

we see in the next year. What's going to happen next

14:07

year? What are we going to do? What kind of things

14:09

do we want to accomplish? Are there

14:11

places we want to go? Are there things we want to

14:13

change? Are there things that we adopted this year that we're

14:15

like, man, we need to get that out of our life?

14:18

This is a very specific kind of date night that we like

14:20

to take toward the end of the year and going

14:22

into the new year. We talk a lot

14:24

about it in Marriage After God, the book

14:26

that we wrote. I think it's chapter 13. It's

14:30

titled Dreaming Together, and it's just all

14:32

about looking at

14:34

our goals and kind of vision casting for

14:36

our marriage and our family and what we

14:38

have coming up. I'm

14:41

excited to do that with you. Why is

14:43

it good that our kids see us date each other? For

14:46

those parents out there that you

14:49

want to give an example to your children, dating

14:52

is a part of that example. It's just

14:54

good that they see their mom and dad intentionally

14:56

trying to have time together. Yeah, and

14:58

it's affirming to them about our

15:00

relationship, where we are, and that we're putting

15:02

each other first. Then

15:05

they start to desire it. Every

15:07

single time that we go on a date, they're always like, when do

15:09

I get to go on a date with you guys? They

15:12

want those intentional times. They know what it

15:14

means. We shared a quote

15:16

in the beginning about how we dated that led,

15:19

about when we dated that led

15:21

to marriage. If

15:23

we want to stay married, we should continue on. I

15:27

found a few more on the quote

15:29

or the meme person. Yeah, I think you like

15:31

quotes. Here's

15:33

another one. Date night is cheaper than counseling. That's

15:37

good. Date night is cheaper than counseling.

15:40

Don't ever stop dating your wife and don't ever

15:42

stop flirting with your husband. That's

15:44

good. Meet their needs. I do like it when you flirt with me. Meet their

15:46

needs, guys. I do like it when you flirt with me. People

15:49

who have great marriages have great marriages on

15:51

purpose. That's bringing in

15:53

the intentionality of knowing going

15:56

on a date isn't just to

15:58

go do something fun. that

16:00

you've been wanting to do, which that could

16:02

be tied into it, but it's because

16:05

you desire to have a great marriage and you

16:07

know that putting in intentional time and that investment

16:09

into your spouse is a purposeful

16:12

thing. Yeah, and

16:14

again, date night, it's

16:17

not necessarily the only thing that's on purpose, but

16:20

it's just one of the things in your tool

16:22

belt of like, this is one of the ways

16:24

that we cultivate our marriage. This is one of

16:26

the ways that we cultivate closeness and unity is

16:29

those intentional times where

16:31

we get together and it's just us. It's

16:34

just us together looking each other's eyes, talking

16:36

with each other, sharing each other's hearts and

16:38

souls and laughter, tears

16:40

sometimes. Yeah. Hopefully

16:43

it's not always tears at date night, but that happens sometimes.

16:45

Sometimes that happens. Sometimes there's serious things that need to come

16:47

up in those moments, but having

16:49

that time allows for that. So,

16:54

and it doesn't happen by accident. Like I said, this is

16:56

something that's got to be put on the counter, something that's

16:59

gonna be scheduled, something that's gotta be regular and

17:02

intentional. So here we

17:04

go, 12 dates of Christmas. And you guys, these

17:06

are just creative date night ideas. This isn't like

17:08

a list that you need to go check off.

17:10

This is just to give you ideas. I know,

17:12

Aaron, you thrive off ideas being given to you.

17:15

It's almost like you're not thinking about it, but

17:17

if someone were to throw it at you, you'd be

17:19

like, that's a rad idea. So this is us

17:22

just sharing our ideas with you. And-

17:24

Is this using hint hint? Hint hint, Aaron, do all

17:26

of them. No,

17:28

we just wanted to encourage you guys today and

17:31

hopefully inspire you to grab

17:33

at one of these and do it with your stuff. Okay,

17:36

first one. And again, I think I've been looking through

17:38

this and I feel like we've done pretty

17:41

much all these at some point in our lives. First

17:43

one is progressive dinner. We

17:46

bring this up a lot in date

17:48

night conversations because they're fun. A

17:50

progressive dinner, it's like, instead of going to that one place

17:53

that you always go to, because I am a creature habit.

17:55

If there's a place I like, I just want to go to that one

17:57

place. I also do like... Changing

18:00

things up, but it's just easier when I know the things

18:02

that I want but a progressive dinner is

18:04

like You you pick the three

18:06

places four places that you've never been before and you're

18:08

like let's go get one little thing in each One

18:11

of those places so you can control

18:13

the budget But then it's also it's

18:15

like an adventure It's like what is it gonna be like cuz

18:17

it could be horrible or it could be great and you're like

18:19

why that's a new Favorite restaurant also don't forget

18:21

about those in-between moments when you're taking

18:23

your time going between each place You're

18:26

either walking there or you're driving there, but

18:28

you're spending time to shopping Yeah, you're considering

18:30

and thinking about that conversation You just had

18:33

or what you're gonna ask next and it's

18:35

just like it feels good Maybe

18:37

you have to cross through like a park or something to get

18:39

to the next place And you just go

18:41

play you go like jump on the swings or something or you

18:43

throw some leaves at each other You

18:46

can you can take that time between well now

18:48

I'd be snow. Yeah Yeah,

18:50

here'd be snow in California. It's just still

18:52

hot So

18:54

that's that's what you can use you the in-between times

18:56

are just as important as the The

18:59

three-course. Yeah, no meal itself The

19:02

next one is go ice skating and bring

19:04

with you a blanket and maybe some hot

19:06

cider or maybe the place that you're at

19:08

has coffee and Just

19:12

Have fun, even if you suck on the

19:15

skates Yeah a lot of the

19:17

ice skating rings have the little helper things like

19:19

the cone or the so Jennifer you

19:21

could use the Handheld okay, it's

19:23

true. I'm not very good at ice skating but

19:27

we just went as a family and I

19:29

couldn't go because I had dislocated my toe,

19:31

but It looks really

19:33

fun and we had a blast and I was

19:35

really shocked at true It was freezing true. It's

19:37

five and he was struggling a little bit, but

19:40

he was getting out there Oh, he didn't want to

19:42

get off. Yeah, he and he did it by himself I tried helping

19:44

him a little bit and he liked that but one

19:46

thing I noticed with helping kids with ice skating is It's

19:49

harder to hurt that yeah It's harder for them

19:52

to learn when when they can rely on like

19:54

leaning on your hand So

19:56

I the cones are actually much better teaching

19:59

them to stand up and that because they have to

20:01

rely on their balance. Yeah. Which is something

20:03

I figured that out. But if

20:05

you're going on a date, use each other. That

20:07

wasn't what I was going to say, just like in those

20:09

Hallmark movies. It's so sweet. If one of you can skate

20:12

better, then they have to hold on to you. Yeah, that's

20:14

just me how to do it. They have to hold your

20:16

arm, and then if they stumble and they fall backwards in

20:18

your arms, then all of a sudden you're doing a romantic

20:20

kiss on the ice skating and spinning in circles and snow

20:22

starts to fall and the lights are different. Okay, Sharon. You've

20:24

watched too many movies. The movie I

20:26

thought about with this was Serendipity. It came out a

20:28

long time ago, but I remember them sitting in

20:31

Central Park by the Ice Skating Week and talking about

20:33

the stars. And she looks at

20:35

Adam and... Yeah, just brought up all of those things.

20:37

This is like every Hallmark movie. So sweet. So

20:40

if you want to have some romance, go ice

20:43

skating. This next one... We

20:45

just did this. We just did this. We do these...

20:47

Probably once a year. Yeah, once a year because it's

20:49

not cheap. So we save for

20:51

it and we wait and we find

20:53

a good reason for it. But a couple's a

20:55

massage. Maybe you have someone

20:58

in your church or in your family that doesn't.

21:00

Maybe you know someone that could help or... I

21:02

like the spa experience. Jennifer likes the spa experience.

21:04

I like the silly music and the calm dim

21:06

lights and the road. I'm trying to give the

21:08

different financial options because one's

21:10

more expensive, one's cheaper. But

21:13

either way, getting a couple's of massage where you do it

21:15

together, there's something really cool about that.

21:17

We enjoy it. Maybe not everyone likes it. I know some

21:19

people that don't like to be touched at all. Yeah, sure.

21:22

They don't like that. Sorry, guys. We'll move on to the next one.

21:24

Yeah. Cookie making nights. Everyone

21:26

likes cookies. Yeah, I do. I

21:29

love cookies. Decorate cookies and

21:31

then you can even take the cookies that you made

21:33

and go drop it off at a friend's house and

21:36

stay for game night. That's true. Now you

21:38

just turned into a double date. There you go. You

21:40

just made cookies with the kids. They

21:42

loved it and that cookie's tasted really good because I ate a lot

21:44

of them. We went to this estate sale recently

21:46

and I happened to assemble upon a game

21:49

board of Survivor and

21:51

it was still wrapped in the plastic and everything and

21:53

it's a game I've never played before but I'm hanging

21:55

on to it till we can go bombard a friend

21:58

and make them play it with us. We

22:00

like game night. Is game night on here? We don't have that

22:02

as an idea. Well, it was part of cookie. It's

22:05

built in. It's built into all of these. You can

22:07

do a game night with almost any of these. Go

22:11

sledding or snowshoeing. We've never done

22:13

snowshoeing, but we've done plenty of sledding. You

22:15

know what I want to do is snowmobiling. You

22:18

start to upgrade it. I get it. Snowmobiling

22:22

would be fun. We have friends that have done

22:24

that and they loved it. Our good friends around

22:26

the corner, they love snowmobiling. Him and his wife

22:28

will go. We haven't done it yet. We

22:33

should make that our bucket list this year. I

22:35

actually do want to try it. It kind of scares me. It's

22:37

a big old machine on snow, but I would do it. Go

22:40

ahead. It's snow sledding. That's easy. You can

22:43

get a sledding target or something. I think

22:45

you can do something from home, like a

22:47

trash can lid or something like that. Clean

22:50

it first, of course. Something

22:55

that you might do with your kids, go do it with your spouse. Just

22:57

YouTube kids. Sometimes we do these fun

22:59

things with our kids. Maybe

23:02

some parents are better at this, but I feel like sometimes

23:04

I forget to have fun at the same time. There's

23:07

something also unique about just having that fun

23:09

with just your spouse. The

23:12

next one is a Christmas market. I

23:16

love Christmas markets. I tend to

23:18

not buy anything. My

23:21

nature is I love to go and look and explore,

23:23

but I don't usually buy anything. Not either, but

23:26

I love seeing all of the interesting things

23:28

that people make and do. We

23:31

had grandma and grandpa here. They bought stuff for the

23:33

grandkids, which I was like, sweet, you're a supporting local.

23:37

They got these really funky hats.

23:39

They're not beanies. They're made of

23:41

felt. All the

23:43

kids are one of them. They're

23:45

bulky, they're big, and they're bright. They like them

23:48

and they look pretty warm though. I won't

23:50

wear one, but the kids love them. This

23:53

next one we did a couple of years ago. I

23:56

don't know if it's technically

23:58

romantic. It's romantic

24:00

for men, probably. It's

24:02

axe throwing. There is these setups now,

24:05

these places that you can go and

24:07

throw axes at Target. Sometimes

24:10

they have food, but either way you just

24:13

go and you rent

24:15

your little spot for an hour. They

24:17

give you the axe, they teach you how to do it. I know we have

24:19

one here. They're going to be in downtown areas, I

24:21

think. I don't know if everyone will have one. They

24:23

popped up a lot more in the recent years. I'm

24:26

sure everyone listening probably knows one. There's probably

24:28

somewhere. If you don't have an axe throwing

24:30

place, go bowling. How about that? Yeah.

24:33

Bowling's good. Okay, so

24:35

this next one is very creative and

24:37

requires just a little bit of forethought,

24:40

but it presents a scavenger hunt

24:42

to your spouse. You

24:47

just did one of these for a friend's birthday. It

24:49

was really simple to put together.

24:51

Yes. I just wrote, well,

24:53

I designed it on Photoshop, but if you don't know

24:55

that, you could just write it on a card. You

24:58

just fill out, you pick three or four places

25:00

that you want them to go. Maybe

25:02

it's a coffee shop and then maybe

25:05

an REI or something. Fun

25:08

places to visit and shop. You put

25:10

little clues on the paper that will get them to think, oh, I

25:12

know where that's at. Then they show up

25:14

and they get their next one. If you need

25:16

help writing the clues, I'm sure you can use

25:18

AI these days. Yeah, probably. Just say, hey, this

25:20

is the location. Help me make a clue for

25:22

a scavenger hunt. It'll just pop out the whole

25:24

thing for you. What we did for our girlfriend was

25:26

at each place, we gave her a gift from that place.

25:30

We gave her a gift card to the coffee shop. Yeah.

25:34

You can break that up for your date night of

25:36

maybe one places you do a quick little shopping

25:38

date or one places you get a coffee and

25:40

one place is a ... Then you

25:43

end up at dinner somewhere.

25:45

I like that. Do it. Oh,

25:48

and I was going to add to this. If you wanted

25:50

it to be a surprise for both of you, you

25:52

know how they do the escape room

25:54

stuff like you have to figure it out. You

25:57

can ask a friend to come up. up

26:00

with the places you'll go and

26:02

the little papers. That's actually fun.

26:04

Let your friend decide your whole date. Yeah. And

26:07

let them set it up for you. You mentioned escape

26:09

room. That's actually a bonus one. Those

26:13

are fun if you want to do an

26:15

escape room. Unless you get terrified of closed rooms and you

26:17

can't get out, maybe you shouldn't do it. I get terrified.

26:19

But they're actually a lot of fun. I've done it with

26:21

the men from our church before. Number

26:24

nine is a musical or

26:26

concert or play. Which is a great

26:28

time to go this time of year. Because like I

26:30

said, just being able to dress up, wear your black

26:32

dress, or your pearls, or whatever, girls are like, yes,

26:34

I want to dress up. A few years ago, I

26:36

took you to a, wasn't it a violin concert in

26:38

a church locally? And that was

26:40

really cool. It was very intimate. There was candles. And

26:43

how many? There was only what? Maybe 50 people? There

26:45

wasn't a lot. And

26:47

this girl was playing this, what was

26:49

it, a Stradivarius? That was. It was

26:51

like on loan from someone. But it

26:54

was beautiful, fun. I

26:56

think it was only an hour. And then we went to

26:59

dinner afterwards. And Aaron, does that for me? Because he

27:01

knows how much that I appreciate violins

27:03

and that art. And music, yeah.

27:05

Artistic. Yeah. And so I'm just

27:07

encouraging you guys. Like if it's not your thing, but you know what

27:09

your spouse is saying, go do it. Go do it. That's

27:12

why I watch Hallmark Boies with you. Because it's

27:14

your thing. We tried watching one last night, but

27:16

I kept falling asleep. I'm like, go ahead and turn it off, babe. That's

27:19

par for the course, though. You put a movie on, you

27:21

fall asleep. And then I end up watching this whole movie.

27:23

And I look over and just, you're next to me sleeping.

27:26

And I'm like, wait a minute. I got six. But this

27:28

is why you can tell a plot from the beginning of

27:30

the first line of a movie where I'm surprised every time.

27:32

I know them all. Yeah. Because I fall

27:34

asleep to them. Why don't you show number 10? Number 10

27:37

is Hot Chocolate Quickie and Christmas Lights Tour. So

27:39

go to your favorite coffee shop or just make

27:41

it at home and take it. And

27:43

then just drive around and look at Christmas lights. That's

27:46

something actually we love doing with our family, with our kids.

27:49

There's a few neighborhoods in our town

27:51

that we can drive through and people just go

27:53

all out. I

27:55

wish our neighborhood did. Well, take

27:57

someone who started. I know. Number

28:01

11 is go dancing. We

28:03

haven't actually done this one. I just want to clarify. This

28:06

is me planting a seed in Aaron because

28:08

I don't think he would ever go. Some

28:12

people out there are really, this would be a

28:14

great one for them. There's a local place. Other

28:16

marriages will really benefit from this. I'm trying

28:18

to talk to our audience here. Listen up.

28:21

There's a local place here that gives

28:23

free dance lessons on

28:25

every Thursday and you can go and learn

28:28

how to line dance. I just want to know

28:30

how this helps our listeners though. Do

28:33

they have a place to get free to line dance? Look

28:35

it up. Maybe. I'm

28:38

not saying no. I'm saying

28:40

it's implausible. If

28:44

you guys want Aaron to take me dancing,

28:46

go on Instagram, go at marriage after God

28:48

and just crush his DMs. You'll

28:50

see him. We'll see about

28:53

that. Okay. Last one,

28:55

but not least one. Christmas shopping. This

28:58

is kind of like a strategic

29:00

date night to go, what, get

29:03

gifts for the kids? You could do it for

29:05

friends. Yeah. I know some people take

29:07

advantage of Black Friday or shop online. Maybe

29:09

you've gotten the bulk of your stuff done and you

29:11

just want to go see if there's anything else for

29:13

your mom or stocking stuffers. Maybe

29:19

that's how you want to do gifts for each other that year.

29:21

You kind of go together. Yeah. You

29:23

just each pick one thing. That's special. I

29:26

like gift shopping. It's fun

29:28

to try and figure out what is

29:30

going to be special and

29:33

for that person. For each kid,

29:35

for your spouse, for a friend. It's

29:38

always fun to figure out what's going to

29:40

make them smile. They can feel thought of and loved. All

29:43

right. Well, that's our 12 dates of Christmas. If you guys

29:46

have done these in the past and you want to do

29:48

them again, go for it. If there's a new one you

29:50

haven't heard of yet, go do that

29:52

one. Go try it out. Go try it out. I

29:54

just wanted to inspire you guys this holiday to

29:56

keep date night at the forefront of

29:58

your mind. way of putting it

30:00

on the calendar, making it a regular occurrence. If it

30:03

can't happen every week and

30:05

you have it on the schedule for every week, I bet you

30:07

it'll happen more than it was before. Maybe

30:09

it's every other week, maybe it's once a month. We

30:12

just want you to see

30:14

that time as non-negotiable.

30:18

You need to have that alone time with your spouse. Yeah.

30:22

Let's briefly talk about just, again, the

30:25

benefits of having that weekly regular date

30:27

night. Yeah, touching base, getting

30:29

on the same page, revealing. The dates can

30:31

go by so fast, you guys, especially if you're…

30:33

They go in by faster, right? Yeah.

30:36

Whatever dimension we live in now, time is not the way

30:38

it used to be. Yeah,

30:40

we need to touch base with each

30:42

other. We need to have and create

30:45

these opportunities where we can focus our

30:47

attention on each other and not be

30:49

interrupted. Yeah. Reminding

30:51

each other of our love and devotion for each

30:53

other, being able to be there face

30:55

to face and saying, hey, I want you to know

30:57

I love you. I love

30:59

you. Going back real

31:02

quick to touching base, maybe, yes,

31:04

with each other, but also just

31:06

current events and what's

31:09

going on spiritually in the world. I feel

31:11

like sometimes those are big conversations to have,

31:13

especially if you have younger listeners around the

31:15

house. It's easier to have it alone. Yeah,

31:18

utilizing date night to talk about big things.

31:21

That's good. Yeah. I wouldn't suggest

31:23

making every date night like that. No, but check in.

31:25

But if you have them regularly, you can have one

31:28

of your date nights. Hey, let's talk about some big

31:30

stuff, hard stuff. Some more benefits. It's

31:32

something to look forward to, so that

31:34

anticipation in your relationship of being excited

31:36

to be together, knowing and

31:38

choosing to have fun on date nights. It's

31:40

fun. Why not? Don't you want to have

31:42

fun with your spouse? It's

31:45

refreshing, but it also deepens your

31:47

connection. Yeah. Again,

31:49

it shows your kids that your marriage is

31:51

important to you, that your spouse is number

31:53

one priority on your list. Of course, not

31:55

before God, but it just lets them know

31:57

what the order is of things. Awesome.

32:01

Well, that wraps up this

32:03

episode. We end every episode with a growth spurt. This

32:06

is the last one of the year. So it's just

32:08

a challenge that we like to give you guys to

32:11

focus on. And we're calling it

32:13

Tis the Season, Commit to Connection. You can

32:16

pray together, you can hold hands, write a note,

32:18

or leave it on a pillow for each other.

32:20

You can go on a date night. We

32:24

want you to choose whatever you think is going

32:26

to help you to connect with each other

32:28

and reaffirm your love this month. And

32:30

I want to remind you, we brought up at the beginning of this episode

32:33

to take the Marriage Prayer Challenge in

32:35

2024, that you would get the Marriage

32:37

Gift, our newest book, 365

32:40

Prayers for Your Marriage, and

32:42

that you would commit to praying every day

32:44

for your spouse and with your spouse in

32:47

2024. And so get

32:49

a copy at themarriagegift.com and

32:52

start the journey with us. Take the challenge. Okay,

32:55

let's pray. Dear

32:57

Lord, thank you for the reminder to date each other

32:59

no matter how long we have been married. We pray

33:01

we would have the courage and creativity to initiate a

33:03

marriage, to make a plan, and make it special. We

33:05

pray we would take advantage of this magical holiday season

33:07

to do some fun

33:09

dates with one another. Help us to remind each other why we

33:11

love each other and to have fun together. We pray we

33:13

would lay aside our schedules and other excuses to make sure

33:18

at least one date night happens as soon as possible. May

33:20

you be the light in us that others see

33:23

as we choose to love each other

33:25

boldly. In Jesus' name, Amen. Amen.