0:06

Why did God give us the ability to remember

0:08

things? Memory is such a strange thing.

0:11

Memory doesn't have any substance or form

0:13

or physical presence, yet somehow

0:15

it has an immediate and very present effect on

0:18

our everyday reality. God gave

0:20

us the ability to store memories so that these

0:22

memories of the past would help us in

0:24

the present. This is why God continually

0:26

commanded the people of Israel to remember. Remember

0:29

where they came from, remember that they were once slaves,

0:32

remember that they once wandered in the wilderness,

0:34

and most importantly, remember how God saved

0:36

them and brought them through it all. To remember

0:39

is to apply the lessons of the past to the

0:41

circumstances of today. It is

0:43

good to remember.

0:44

Hey, we're Aaron and Jennifer

0:46

Smith, your hosts of the Marriage After God podcast. Today's

0:49

episode is brought to you by our newest one-year

0:51

marriage prayer devotional, The Marriage Gift. This

0:54

one-year prayer devotional officially releases

0:57

on October 17th, but you can preorder

0:59

today simply by visiting TheMarriageGift.com.

1:02

We desire to see every marriage be a praying marriage.

1:05

That is why we wrote this book. We want to invite

1:07

you to preorder your copy today and see prayer become

1:09

a foundational aspect of your marriage. Do

1:11

you ever find yourself not having the words to pray? Or

1:14

know what to pray for when it comes to your spouse

1:16

and your marriage? Do you feel nervous or uncomfortable

1:19

praying with your spouse? Do you desire your

1:21

prayer life to be more consistent and more vibrant?

1:24

Do you want to pray for your marriage more? If

1:26

you answered yes to any of these questions, then please

1:28

visit TheMarriageGift.com to

1:31

preorder your book today and give your marriage

1:33

the gift you will love to open every day.

1:37

Hey everyone, we're back for another episode.

1:40

That's like my little fake

1:42

drum. Should be a fun one. The

1:46

initial idea was just a

1:48

kind of fun way to get you guys

1:51

inspired and encouraged to be thinking about

1:53

certain areas of your marriage.

1:59

I mean, marriages, especially as the

2:02

years go on. I mean, we've

2:04

been married almost 17 years now. And

2:07

that's not even, I mean, my parents have been married, gosh,

2:09

in their 40s, 40 years, longer. And

2:13

I just,

2:14

you can imagine over the years, we can forget

2:16

some stuff. Sure, some things we need to forget, which

2:18

we'll talk about. That's fine,

2:21

too. But before we jump in all of that, is there anything

2:23

new going on with you this week that you wanna share? Anything

2:26

that's encouraged you or?

2:29

My main focus lately has been

2:31

on marketing the new book, just talking

2:33

about it, preparing stuff, getting all the back-end

2:35

stuff done. And so that's

2:38

what I've been doing. My head's been in that space. That's

2:40

awesome. So I'm forgetting a lot of other things.

2:42

Something

2:44

that was cool that just

2:47

really touched my heart was a

2:49

friend of ours, they had a baby

2:52

recently, and they're going

2:54

through a bit of crisis with her

2:56

health. And

2:58

one of their family members reached out and said,

3:00

hey, let's all, whoever wants to

3:03

join in a fast in prayer on

3:05

a specific day. And everybody

3:08

in the church was game, we all wanted

3:10

to do it. And the

3:12

morning of, I woke up

3:15

and felt really encouraged. I

3:17

was praying, and I thought,

3:19

how cool is it, Lord, that

3:21

everybody's simultaneously praying, specifically

3:24

for this baby girl? And

3:28

the Lord was like, I'm gonna flip your perspective for a second.

3:31

I'm using this baby girl to draw many

3:33

hearts to me right now. And it was

3:35

really cool.

3:37

Both are important, and it shows how the body, like

3:41

all the individual members of the body, work

3:43

together for the good of the body. And it was

3:45

just really beautiful. Yeah, and how God can

3:47

use even the littlest member, the weakest

3:50

member to open up all

3:52

of our eyes, to bring us to our knees

3:54

before him, to draw us, like you said, to himself.

3:56

Yeah, it was super cool. That was a good

3:58

little thing you just shared.

3:59

Thank you for that.

4:02

Yeah. Other than that, we're

4:04

gearing up to start school again. And

4:07

it was funny, I put some of the kids' like

4:10

newer schoolbooks and math and everything in

4:12

their little boxes where we organize our homeschool

4:15

stuff and they've

4:17

already jumped to it. And I feel like

4:19

we haven't even really had a break in summer because

4:21

we lingered with last year's like

4:23

math and language arts and stuff. And so

4:26

they've only been off for a couple of weeks and they wanted to jump

4:28

right back in it. So we start next week, just

4:31

wait. They're excited though.

4:33

That's awesome. What's one of the big

4:35

focuses you're going to focus on this year? I

4:38

really, there's a couple of our kids

4:40

who just aren't confident with reading.

4:43

I feel like I've given them the tools and they, I

4:45

feel like they can do it, but they don't, they're not quick

4:48

or, or excited to jump into

4:51

reading on their own. And so that's, that's

4:53

a big goal for me this year. It's probably genetic because

4:56

I wasn't confident in my reading skills

4:58

either. I just need

5:00

to bring some fun to it. Unfortunately

5:03

for me. And then also I feel like with our older kids,

5:05

like just really encouraging the independent

5:07

learning where they can, um, areas

5:10

of school that maybe they can

5:13

show some initiative and just doing,

5:16

cause I know that they can.

5:17

I'm excited about this year. I think they're going to all grow

5:20

a lot. One aspect is

5:22

we're switching, um, Elliott

5:24

to an online math curriculum,

5:27

which I've never introduced anything like

5:30

technology based with our kids. And so

5:32

there was a part of you that was like, no, let's

5:35

not do that. But we agreed that moving

5:38

forward, it's actually good because they

5:40

live in a

5:41

technology filled world to

5:43

give them healthy opportunities to

5:46

experience technology in a safe way.

5:48

Yeah. It's just a new aspect to me as

5:50

a teacher. Like I don't know

5:52

how it's going to go. Cause I've never done that before. So just

5:55

interesting stuff. That's good. Um,

5:58

something that I know a lot of our listeners. probably

6:00

know this because we mentioned the past but we we do home

6:02

church so we don't go to a regular

6:05

building like a lot of people do which is totally

6:07

fine also but we do it in our homes and

6:10

we've been hosting church how

6:12

many months three months

6:13

yeah we did throughout the summer yeah three

6:15

months in our home and one cool aspect

6:18

of our home church is we take turns we'll

6:21

switch houses for periods of time

6:23

and we just got done doing that so

6:25

we're we're gonna be switching to someone else's house but it's

6:27

a really cool thing that we get to do because everyone in the church

6:30

everyone but many people

6:32

in the church get opportunities to serve the church

6:35

in that

6:35

way yeah it's a little bit layered and serving

6:38

and showing hospitality and preparing

6:41

ahead of time and providing that space for

6:43

everyone it just takes a lot so

6:46

we're always grateful when things get switched up

6:48

a little bit but

6:49

we've had fun like it's been fun here uh-huh

6:52

yep it's good for the kids too they wake up early and

6:54

they put all the chairs out and

6:57

our music binders and things

6:58

yeah they get to help set church up

7:00

yeah which is really cool with

7:03

us talking about church and for everyone

7:05

listening I just want to encourage you guys like we

7:08

want to encourage you guys that church is

7:10

such an integral part of our

7:13

faith and being able to fellowship

7:15

on a weekly regular basis I've

7:18

just seen so much benefit not not not

7:20

only in our family and our life

7:22

and the support the encouragement the prayer

7:24

like everything that it provides but

7:27

also when you're in fellowship and

7:29

there's

7:29

needs that people have and you're able

7:32

to just jump right in because you know them you've

7:34

been walking with them you see them regularly

7:37

you love them and it's just

7:39

a it's a huge

7:41

support system and so if you're listening

7:43

right now and maybe you've been out for a while you haven't

7:46

been really connecting we just want to encourage

7:48

you to find a local community local

7:50

church that you can be participating in

7:53

and fellowshiping with because we all

7:55

need each other I totally

7:56

agree I mean it's and it's

7:58

also not just

7:59

we should do it just because it's good for us, but God

8:02

desires us and commands us as his people to

8:04

be in fellowship with one another. So we

8:06

should be looking if you don't have a church,

8:08

if you don't have a fellowship to find one

8:11

and to look for people who love God and love

8:13

his word.

8:14

Amen. The

8:17

last thing I want to bring up before we get into the topic

8:19

is the pre-launch

8:22

for our new devotional is going really well. I

8:24

just wanted to praise God for that. We were in the top

8:26

selling new releases on Amazon already for

8:28

over a week, and it doesn't even come out

8:31

until October. I just wanted to share with everyone

8:33

because anyone who's pre-ordered that's been listening to our podcast,

8:35

you're one of the reasons they did that.

8:37

So I just want to thank you. God

8:39

is so good. And

8:42

if you haven't already pre-ordered

8:44

the book, we want to again ask you to do that

8:46

and participate in this

8:48

book launch, not only to bless your marriage, but

8:51

also to get the word out about this

8:53

book because the more people that pre-order this, the

8:56

more that the ranking for the book gets

8:58

better on Amazon and more people see it. So you

9:00

can go to the marriage gift dot com, which

9:02

will take you straight to the book.

9:05

Okay. So let's jump into today's

9:08

content. Yeah. You were,

9:11

we wanted to mention how we just, we,

9:13

we just recorded a podcast with

9:15

Liz Bagua from Rhythm

9:17

Restoration. So that episode

9:19

should be coming out soon and we'll share it with you guys.

9:22

When it gets released, I love that

9:24

she uses her background in science. She was in it

9:26

for like two decades. And

9:28

she mixes it with her faith.

9:30

And as she shares on her podcast, like

9:33

that's, that's the way she's getting the message

9:35

out. And I just love that.

9:36

Talking about how biology

9:38

and science just confirms

9:41

things that we did. Yeah. I

9:43

love that. So when we were thinking about this episode,

9:46

even though it was going to be a more lighthearted episode,

9:48

I was like, Oh, we should try and draw in some of the science

9:51

because we're science professionals.

9:53

We might as well

9:54

know what we do love learning. We

9:56

do love learning and we love that you guys love

9:59

to listen to us. get to learn with us. Um,

10:02

we just, uh, you know, pulled a few

10:04

things out that we were going to share with you guys today.

10:07

So on top of the 20 things

10:09

you should never forget in marriage, maybe

10:11

you'll also retain some of this information

10:14

for why I don't know.

10:15

Maybe they'll remember what we're talking

10:18

about with memory. Okay. So in

10:20

the simplest of terms, memory is the

10:22

way we store and retrieve and retrieve

10:24

information. Uh, Wikipedia

10:26

says it's the retention of information over time

10:29

for the purpose of influencing future action,

10:32

which is kind of what I was talking about at the beginning of the

10:34

episode or what you were, I should say, is

10:36

that's the purpose God designed

10:39

memory into us.

10:40

Yeah. What we said was to remember

10:42

is to apply the lessons of the past to

10:45

the circumstances of today.

10:46

A simple example of that

10:48

is, and we learned this as children, um, things

10:51

that hurt us. Things like fire burns,

10:54

right? You remember, you remember that for a long time. It's got a very

10:56

visceral, um, response

10:58

in our body. And so our flesh

11:00

learns real early. I should not

11:03

touch fire because that does not feel good. Right.

11:05

So, okay. So then Johns

11:07

Hopkins medicine says, according

11:10

to scientists, memories are formed as a

11:12

result of connections between neurons in

11:14

the brain. New connections or synapses

11:16

are formed each time a new activity is

11:19

learned. The more a person participates

11:21

in a particular activity, the stronger the synapses

11:24

and associated memories tied to the activity

11:26

become,

11:28

which that's a good reminder and

11:30

a warning. The kinds of things that we do

11:32

over and over again, right?

11:35

They become things that,

11:37

um, our, our minds remember,

11:40

they call them neural pathways. And

11:42

it, the more that pathway is trampled

11:44

on, the easier that pathway is to, is

11:47

to walk. There's a, there's a book

11:49

I read a long time ago that talked about this

11:52

for a specific subject, but

11:54

doing things over and over again is a very powerful way

11:56

of remembering something could be good and bad.

11:58

Yeah. So for a good example,

12:00

I mean, this is just really simple, but everybody will probably

12:03

have a memory flood them right now. But

12:05

just think of grandma's house. Everybody

12:08

going to grandma's house has that memory of like

12:10

what it looked like, what it felt like, or

12:12

that blue carpet or the way it smelled.

12:14

I don't know. Um, the things that

12:16

you did with grandma when you visited

12:19

my grandpa had a very specific clone. I

12:21

think it was Stetson and he,

12:23

and it was the only one he ever wore. And so

12:26

his, it always, he always smelled like Stetson.

12:27

See, so our memories

12:30

are very, very interesting

12:32

as I was doing a little bit of research for this episode

12:34

too, of just, um,

12:37

how the science community has, uh, tried

12:40

to

12:40

in a way dissect, okay, what is memory

12:43

and then define it. Um,

12:45

it's, it still seems like such a mysterious

12:47

thing. It's kind of like when I think about a computer,

12:50

like how is a machine doing

12:52

all of this?

12:53

What you see visually, you know,

12:54

it's strange. I

12:57

was thinking the same thing that

12:58

even though they can explain maybe

13:01

how it works, like, oh, it's neurons being formed,

13:03

but I don't think they can still

13:05

understand how our brain is actually storing

13:07

because like we can all have like images

13:09

and we can remember smells

13:12

and sounds and where does that

13:14

exist? How does that exist

13:17

in our, in the neurons in our brain? It's crazy.

13:19

Yeah.

13:20

But as they try to grasp for how

13:22

exactly it all works, they have defined a few things

13:24

for us. So I thought I would just share what

13:27

some of these things are. So, um, working

13:29

memory is that short term, smaller

13:32

capacity of recalling information.

13:34

Okay.

13:35

Um, it's kind of

13:37

what helps you make a quick

13:39

decision or make a behavior and choose a

13:41

behavior. Okay. Um, explicit

13:43

memory is the more long-term

13:46

recollection or awareness through associations.

13:49

So those are kind of like the two main, like

13:52

what memory is, and then they break it down even further.

13:55

So there's episodic memory,

13:57

which is your kind of everyday experiences,

13:59

what it's,

14:00

you know, you remember what your house is like or where

14:02

you put things. Um, yeah,

14:05

like in the middle of the night when it's pitch black in my room, I can walk

14:07

from my, my side of my bed all

14:09

the way to the bathroom and not hit any walls.

14:11

Well, I have pitch black. Yes.

14:13

I can reach from my phone in one, one take and grab

14:16

it. Oh, there you go. Um, and

14:18

then semantic memory are like,

14:20

think of like fact flash cards, general

14:23

knowledge.

14:23

Yeah. This one's flash

14:25

cards is not, I'm not good at that. You actually

14:28

are. This is like, you know, all those random

14:30

bits of information, like, is that what this would count

14:33

as? Yeah. Yeah. Um, like

14:35

how many bones the human body has those

14:38

kinds of like, no, but you do know

14:40

a lot of facts because you're, you're that

14:42

guy at the part, that's a hard one. You're the guy at the party

14:44

where you'll, you'll be in a conversation with someone and

14:46

you just start. If it's about like a movie,

14:48

maybe movie quotes. Yeah. Or,

14:51

or I can, I have a really good, I

14:53

do a really good time of, or do a good job of

14:56

remembering useless facts. I have a

14:58

lot of storage for that.

14:59

Yeah. Well, that would

15:01

be there. So then, um, procedural memory

15:03

is how we do things. So the procedure

15:05

of it, uh, playing guitar,

15:08

you know, something like that, riding a bike and

15:10

then sensory memory, which is site, sound,

15:14

smell, touch, taste,

15:16

all of that. Okay. So, so

15:19

when I say I'm, I have a bad memory, really,

15:21

I just have

15:22

parts of my memory that are bad. Like I'm looking at these and

15:24

like, okay, um, some of these I'm not

15:26

that great with. Like explicit memory.

15:29

Yeah. Yeah. The long-term recollection of

15:31

things. I'm not good

15:32

at it. I wish that I was better, but that's one of the reasons

15:34

we wanted to do this episode is cause I think we all

15:36

are aware of how, uh, our

15:40

memory can be

15:41

good or bad. And for many

15:43

of us, we probably just need to work on it a little bit, which is

15:45

the encouragement that we actually can

15:48

help our memory. Um, this

15:50

one vlogger I was watching was saying, you

15:52

know, if you're, if you're healthy and you

15:54

get good rest and sleep, which is huge for

15:57

memory and the way that our brains process information.

16:00

eating good brain foods, challenging

16:02

our brain to work to remember. So like

16:05

repetition, working that muscle out. Yeah, it's

16:07

like a muscle. It creates those neural

16:09

pathways, which you already mentioned, and

16:11

it can be made stronger. So the

16:14

encouragement today for all of us listening is we

16:16

just wanted to inspire each other to work

16:19

better at having a good memory

16:21

because, and we'll talk about it in a minute, there are

16:23

things, especially in marriage, that we need

16:25

to remember. So

16:27

before we get there, why do we

16:29

forget? Why are there things that we forget?

16:33

That's

16:35

as hard as it is for me to explain how we even

16:37

remember things. Why

16:40

we might forget those things. Where does it go?

16:42

I

16:42

don't know. There are some things that I really want to remember,

16:45

like even just some silly, but like lyrics

16:47

to a song. I'm like, sometimes

16:50

they stick like glue, like first time right away.

16:52

Other times I'm like, I can't.

16:55

See, song lyrics, like things like that.

16:58

I've never, I would say I've never been good at

17:00

it, but I also don't care.

17:01

Yeah. Well, I think caring is a big

17:03

part of why we forget things. Yeah.

17:06

Is there a initial desire of like, oh, I want

17:08

to be good at this thing or I enjoy

17:11

this thing or I

17:13

want to recall this for the future.

17:15

So people that, you know,

17:18

work in specific careers or fields,

17:21

like the medical field, they focus on this one

17:23

thing because they want to be the best at it. So they

17:26

start retaining things in that

17:28

area. And I would imagine they probably forget

17:31

other things that have nothing to do with that. It's like your

17:33

brain lets go of the non-essential.

17:35

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

17:39

So do you think that there is,

17:42

that our memory is unlimited

17:44

or that there is a capacity? Well

17:47

mine's very limited. But I

17:49

don't think that's true. I

17:52

think, I think God's pretty incredible and

17:54

he's made our brains to be miraculous.

17:57

I mean, there's, there's people

17:59

that have. Um, there's a, there's a word for

18:01

it in here. I can't see it on the note. Oh, is it hyper

18:03

thymhesia hyper thymhesia?

18:06

They have perfect recollection.

18:08

Yeah. But okay. So that

18:10

is when somebody can recall something like

18:12

perfectly. So there's some people's

18:15

brains, like everything, every experience,

18:17

every fact, everything they can hold it all. Yeah.

18:21

So I would imagine this probably our brains are probably

18:23

capable of remembering quite a bit.

18:25

So I think that's true. But

18:27

can we just talk about there are people in the world

18:29

that have this condition hyper thymhesia,

18:32

but I, I think it would be more of a curse. I

18:35

mean, as far as like,

18:37

we want good memory, but we don't want to remember

18:39

everything because think about it. There's, there's

18:42

even traumatic or, you know, hard situations

18:45

that you've experienced. Let's

18:47

say, um, you know, you forgiven someone who's

18:49

hurt you.

18:51

We tend to be able to forget what has

18:55

happened, but for someone who can't like, that would be

18:57

really hard. Well, a thought I just had

18:59

is we were just reading Genesis one

19:02

to the kids this morning. And we were talking about how

19:04

man is made in God's image and

19:07

God is eternal.

19:08

And it even talks about how the

19:11

amount of thoughts he has towards us that,

19:13

that, that we don't know. And that

19:16

we've been in his mind

19:18

from even before we were born. So

19:21

if you think about, so we're made in his image, he's made

19:23

us able to have memory. I

19:25

mean, he has eternal knowledge.

19:28

Is this, is it memory or is it just a

19:30

constant state of knowing, but

19:33

he knows all

19:34

and he remembers all and he, but

19:36

he, and then later on even says he, but

19:39

he forgets our sin. He does not

19:41

see it anymore, which is an amazing

19:43

concept to think that

19:46

God, the creator who has all knowledge,

19:48

all memory, all, he knows

19:50

all this stuff.

19:52

We'll let go of some of that

19:53

intentionally so that we can have

19:55

a relationship with him through Christ. Listen

19:58

to what it says in Jeremiah 31 34.

19:59

And no longer shall each one teach

20:02

his neighbor and each his brother saying, know

20:04

the Lord, for they shall all know me from

20:06

the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord,

20:08

for I will forgive their iniquity and I will

20:10

remember their sins no more. That's

20:13

pretty awesome. Yeah.

20:15

So he's choosing to forget our

20:17

sins in Christ, which

20:19

is amazing. When

20:21

we were doing this, the

20:24

notes for this episode, there was two movies

20:26

that stood out to me.

20:28

One of them was Inside

20:30

Out, which- The Pixar

20:32

animated film? Yeah, I thought that was a really

20:34

creative way to kind

20:37

of put in picture form an explanation

20:39

of how the mind works for kids. Like, I

20:41

don't know, did you like that movie? I loved it. I thought

20:43

it was really cool. And then the other one was Remembering

20:47

Frozen 2. Everyone's like, no, don't

20:49

say that. When Olaf

20:52

is talking about how water has memory. And

20:54

I just thought that was really funny.

20:56

And then the whole time me and my kids were talking about

20:58

it, mom, does water actually have memory?

21:00

We're like, we don't know. Anyways,

21:04

it has nothing to do with what we're talking about today. But here

21:06

we go.

21:08

Okay, so we were talking about, so why- Yeah,

21:11

why do we forget? So

21:13

if you guys want the scientific terms, there's

21:15

three different ways we forget

21:18

things. The first one is passive

21:21

oblivescence. So like obliviousness.

21:24

It's just the fading of information. It's just

21:26

like, I don't know where it went. I can't recall

21:28

it. There's one

21:30

called targeted forgetting, which

21:33

is when, it's already mentioned, but at night

21:35

when you get rest, like our brains are processing

21:37

all the information that we gathered that day. And

21:40

it's basically throwing out for

21:42

us or purging the information that it thinks

21:44

we don't need.

21:46

Man, how's our brain decided that is? I don't

21:48

know. And then the third

21:50

one is motivated forgetting, which you kind

21:52

of just brought up with the Lord in this very intentional,

21:55

I'm going to forget this. I'm

21:57

not gonna remember it anymore. And

21:59

for us.

21:59

like intentionally suppressing information

22:02

helps us to specifically regulate emotions

22:05

tied to those things.

22:07

So suppressing bad

22:09

memories. I don't like that. I don't

22:11

want to think about that anymore. Yeah. Okay. So

22:13

those are the three ways we forget things in case you guys

22:16

ever wanted to know. That's

22:18

crazy. So I mentioned

22:21

how I have bad memory, but you keep telling me I don't have a bad

22:23

memory. I don't. I'm

22:25

sure everybody gets frustrated with their inability

22:27

to remember things at times. But I think overall

22:29

you actually do have a very sharp

22:31

memory.

22:32

There's certain kinds of like, yeah, certain

22:34

kinds of memories. I'm better at like for some reason I

22:36

don't have a great

22:38

long term memory like that for my

22:40

past as a child. Not that I think

22:42

I'm suppressing anything on purpose. I just think I

22:44

haven't remembered a lot of stuff, but

22:46

you're right. There's other kinds of things that I'm good at remembering

22:49

like facts and different

22:51

ideas and concepts and a lot of biblical

22:53

stuff. I feel like a lot of that's stuck with me

22:55

for some reason.

22:56

I will say that because

22:58

I've had the opportunity to do interviews with

23:00

you or like talking to other people and just meeting

23:02

new people. Your

23:05

timeline doesn't always add up. Dates

23:09

of things or when things happen. And I don't

23:11

know

23:11

why that is. Maybe because my memory

23:13

compresses everything so much. I've been in

23:15

a conversation with you where like we're rolling

23:17

through like what the next year is going to look like. And it'll

23:19

be like September and you're like, so what's

23:22

next month, January? And I'm like, what? I don't

23:24

have enough room in my mind for all this information. It's

23:26

useless. About normal things. It's

23:30

just funny. So this is a good episode for me to be thinking

23:32

about. Pay attention, Eun. Because simple

23:35

things like my kids' birthdays. I know that sounds funny,

23:37

but if you ask me what

23:40

my kids' birthdays are on the spot, I'm going to stumble.

23:42

No, you're going to say, Jen, what was it? Yeah, I

23:44

can be like, I think it's like in December. No,

23:47

I was like, Wyatt, what day is your birthday? All my kids

23:49

know their birthdays. But you just admitted

23:51

like five minutes ago or something like that, maybe 20. I

23:54

don't know that there are

23:56

some things we don't remember because we just don't

23:58

care. Do you feel like? there's parts

24:00

of what we're talking about that you're like,

24:03

well, I just haven't cared enough about those

24:05

things. Well, yes, I think

24:07

in some sense, not that I don't care about my kids

24:09

birthdays, I think it's like, I haven't put

24:11

the care into remembering

24:14

them storing those like, Oh, I'm going to need that in the future. But

24:17

I have done that. So one of the things I do is I

24:19

put all the birthdays in my calendar, right? And it tells

24:22

you which, well, the simple act of

24:24

adding them in my calendar, and then

24:26

them coming up helps solidify

24:28

those in my brain. But

24:31

yeah, so I've tried there. There's things like

24:34

a long time ago, a friend of ours did

24:36

this whole demonstration, we had a marriage

24:38

ministry and there was, there was probably what 50

24:41

leaders or so 30 leaders or

24:43

so.

24:44

And he wanted to add a leadership training.

24:47

He wanted to show how we can all be

24:49

good

24:50

people who are a good name remembers.

24:52

If you ever talk to someone, I'm

24:54

not good at remembering names. Okay. I

24:57

used to say that. And he started off with saying, stop saying, you're not good at remembering

25:00

names. And I'm like, Oh, so I should just say something better.

25:02

We talked about positive affirmations a few episodes ago. So

25:06

I stopped saying immediately, I'm bad at saying

25:08

yet remembering names. And I just, I

25:10

don't say that to people anymore. And

25:12

what happens is you actually start to remember

25:15

better when you tell yourself you can remember people's names.

25:17

Well, also you're intentional about trying to remember

25:19

people's names. And so you'll immediately repeat

25:22

their name or you'll say it a few times. Like

25:24

I've seen you do this. So that's part

25:26

of the working the muscle where you actually can work

25:28

on your memory.

25:29

Yeah. He went around

25:31

the room and he said every single person's name

25:33

out of all 50 of us in a

25:35

circle without skipping a beat. And

25:37

I couldn't have named two thirds of

25:40

the room. Not that I, I mean, I knew them in passing, but

25:42

I didn't have like close relationships with all those people. So

25:45

he gave tips on like, yeah,

25:47

repeat their name when you first meet them, say it several times

25:50

in the sentence, in a sentence while you're talking to them.

25:52

And then something I also practice is when

25:55

it comes to names is even if I think I'm

25:57

going to say their name wrong, I say it.

25:59

So what that does is that gets me in this confidence of like, oh

26:02

no, I do know their name. Yeah. And then they're like,

26:04

no, it's not that. I'm like, Ooh, but I was really close. Or

26:06

I'll say like, I was actually the first thing I was going to say, but

26:08

I didn't say it because I wasn't confident,

26:11

but

26:12

yeah. So there's, there's definitely ways we can get

26:14

better at remembering things. Well,

26:17

should we jump into the list? Yeah, this

26:19

is, yeah. 20 things. Not an exhaustive

26:21

list, but it is an interesting list. We

26:24

came up for you to share

26:26

just to get your minds wrapped around marriage

26:28

and maybe things that you haven't been thinking

26:31

about lately, or like maybe you can use this as

26:33

like a time to evaluate. Um,

26:35

and it might be intentional to remember these things

26:37

and why is it important? So

26:39

why don't you kick us off with the first one?

26:41

So definitely do not

26:44

forget

26:45

your anniversary. That a simple

26:47

one. Yeah. This

26:49

is a, this seems funny, but this is

26:51

a common thing. Not that we don't

26:54

know about our anniversary, but life

26:56

gets busy. We're not paying attention. Days past

26:58

eight weeks past where we're busy. Things are

27:00

happening. Um, you could be in a season

27:03

of just being overwhelmed. A season of like lots of planning,

27:05

a season of lots of execution. And then

27:07

you're

27:08

like, Oh no, is my anniversary

27:10

next week? And you're like, or, or you

27:12

just forget altogether. Why is it important

27:14

to remember your anniversary? Well, it's, it's a, it's

27:17

just a, it's a conscious decision

27:20

to

27:20

remember this, to celebrate your anniversary.

27:23

It's remembering something important to your

27:25

spouse. And I would

27:27

even say, so one of the tips we give is set

27:29

an alarm, of course, like I did with my kid's birthdays, but

27:32

I would say settle arm a month in advance

27:35

to give yourself time to prepare because then

27:37

you can, then you can schedule out a dinner. You can figure

27:40

out. Really? We're not saying don't forget

27:42

your anniversary. We're saying don't forget to celebrate

27:44

your anniversary, which is even more intentional

27:46

of, of, you know, getting

27:49

her those flowers or getting him that gift,

27:51

you know, whatever it is. So we're

27:52

making sure to like, there's that restaurant

27:54

that you've been wanting to go to, but it's always booked

27:57

and you're never booking it out far enough. Get that babysitter.

27:59

Yeah.

27:59

Go have fun. All the things. All the things.

28:02

Okay, two, number two, don't

28:04

forget to go the distance to gift your

28:06

love to your spouse. So again,

28:09

maybe not all the time. Are you talking

28:11

about giving gifts or gifting your love as

28:13

in?

28:13

It could look different for everybody,

28:16

but I think the message

28:18

here is don't forget to love

28:21

on them. And it could look

28:23

like giving a gift. It could just look like

28:26

a loving gesture, but

28:29

loving them, loving on them.

28:31

Remembering that you do love them. Yeah.

28:33

I mean, again, this sounds simple, but

28:37

we just, we become ships that

28:39

pass in the night sometimes. We're all doing our

28:41

things and we forget.

28:42

And the reason we say go the distance is because I think

28:45

sometimes even like the

28:47

smaller gestures or the easy ones,

28:49

it's like, okay, those are, even on

28:52

autopilot, you can do that. Say I

28:54

love you in passing or whatever, but if you're

28:56

going the distance, you're really putting some thoughtfulness

28:58

to it. And I think we need that

29:00

in marriage. Yeah.

29:02

Number three, don't forget to kiss.

29:05

What? Do

29:07

we forget to kiss sometimes? Yeah. A lot

29:10

actually. Yeah. We actually

29:12

talked about this and I was like, we should be, we should like just do

29:14

a challenge. We're going to kiss every day. And

29:16

we like immediately forgot.

29:19

We're like, wait, we looked at each other. It

29:21

was like the next day or two days later, we're

29:23

like, oh, we didn't even do that. That

29:25

thing we just said we were going

29:26

to do. I like your note here. It says

29:28

don't shoot straight for the prize without warming things up throughout

29:30

the day. Like if you're married, you know what we're talking

29:33

about. You need a flirt. Yeah. It's

29:35

amazing how powerful this one thing can be that

29:39

throughout the day, taking a moment, there's

29:41

challenges out there. Like kiss for more than three

29:43

seconds, kiss for five seconds, like

29:46

have a real kiss, not just a peck on the lips, but

29:48

like make out with your wife, make out with your husband.

29:52

It's an amazing thing to, amazing

29:54

way to connect physically throughout the day. That's

29:56

not necessarily sexual. I

29:59

mean, it is sexual, but it's not. Yeah, that makes

30:01

sense. So number four would be don't forget

30:04

to affirm each other often I mean

30:06

we all need it and if you want to learn

30:08

about affirmation go back a few episodes

30:11

ago I listen to our episode on affirmation

30:13

do it give that encouragement send that verse

30:16

and that text write a letter call them But

30:19

we all need we all need that affirmation. We

30:21

all struggle with the temptation to have Insecurities

30:24

doubts frustrations and we need to be

30:26

encouraged on a daily basis. So don't

30:28

forget to do that for each other

30:30

number five Don't forget your

30:33

spouse does not Exist

30:35

just to serve you but that's why

30:37

I got married Yeah, they're not there like

30:40

oh my wife needs just be making me happy needs

30:42

to be serving me all the time My husband needs to be just that's

30:45

not what your spouse is there for him.

30:48

It's a part of it Serving you is definitely

30:50

a part of

30:51

their role as your spouse

30:52

I'm gonna add to this one just because for

30:54

me like I know that I struggle with this that

30:56

it's not a matter of you Serving me per se

30:59

but it is There's a

31:01

love me serving you I do love you serving me

31:03

But there's also just this overall codependency

31:05

on you that like like if you

31:07

want to hang out with your guy friends It's I get this. Well,

31:10

why don't you want to hang out with me? Why

31:12

don't you come work from home? Why don't you be close to

31:14

me like this constant need for

31:16

your

31:17

Presence your affection your

31:19

help help. Yeah, it's all of it. So

31:21

it's not just even serving. It's just all of it So

31:24

I put some to add to that I put

31:26

some notes here. They're your friend. They're

31:28

your partner. They are the lover They're

31:30

helper your helper your teammate.

31:33

Yeah, like all these things But

31:35

they also are an individual and

31:38

so I think we should be mindful of how

31:40

we are How

31:43

how we are being thoughtful

31:45

of their yeah personhood

31:49

What do they need what do they need? Yeah. Yeah thinking

31:52

about the other person. That's good Okay, number

31:54

six. Don't forget you are still dating

31:56

just because you're married doesn't mean that

31:58

you're off the hook Oh, dating only happened

32:01

while we were dating. I did love dating

32:03

you. That was fun. But being

32:05

married is still fun. Couples

32:07

don't like to be on autopilot or feel

32:09

like they're roommates. We kind of already mentioned that, but if

32:12

you need to schedule a date night, if you

32:16

need to make it more routine just to be

32:19

familiar with that and remember it, do that if

32:21

you need to. But don't forget

32:23

that you guys are still dating and

32:26

you need that time together. Mm-hmm. Number

32:29

seven,

32:30

don't forget your spouse has weaknesses

32:32

and breaking points.

32:34

That's a good one. Like, I mean, for husbands

32:36

specifically, the Bible tells

32:38

us that our wives are fragile, that

32:40

they are like fine china, that

32:42

they're the Bible says the weaker vessel.

32:45

And it's not putting them beneath us. What that's doing is it is

32:47

explaining that they have

32:50

weaknesses, they are fragile, and that we need to handle

32:52

them with care. And so

32:55

remembering, and husbands too, as

32:58

men, we have emotional breaking

33:01

points. We have mental breaking

33:03

points. Not that we're having emotional

33:04

breakdowns and mental breakdowns, but I mean,

33:06

some people actually do. But recognizing

33:09

that we have kind of- We're not superhuman. Yeah,

33:11

we can't handle everything all the time

33:13

and do all of the things perfectly. So

33:16

just remember that your spouse,

33:19

that they have

33:20

weaknesses and breaking points.

33:23

And I'd love to add, I keep adding notes,

33:25

sorry, making this an even longer

33:27

list, but with

33:29

this one, if your spouse has

33:31

communicated

33:32

to you that

33:34

they are at a breaking point or they are feeling

33:37

emotional or sensitive for whatever reason,

33:39

and maybe they told you that, and now we're on the

33:42

next day, like

33:42

don't forget. Remember

33:45

that they just told you that because you might start the

33:48

day off feeling great and they're

33:50

still stuck in this low

33:52

place. And if you forget, you're

33:54

gonna meet them in that

33:57

place of tension. I'm saying this because

33:59

it's happening.

33:59

to us and it happened recently where

34:02

I was feeling

34:03

down and in a hard place and

34:06

I had communicated

34:08

that to you and then the next day

34:11

there was a moment where you

34:13

move on like life's normal

34:15

and I felt rushed and frustrated

34:19

over the way that you had communicated

34:21

with me and I

34:23

could have walked with you in a little bit better

34:25

grace and but you have weaknesses but

34:27

I have weaknesses and so I guess my

34:30

my note here is just that when

34:33

your spouse does communicate or you just see

34:35

it like remember that it doesn't just

34:37

go away in a day it sometimes it takes

34:39

time

34:40

so I hope I I agree explain

34:42

that well I'm sorry number

34:45

eight don't forget the plans

34:47

they made this is huge well

34:51

because I don't know if this

34:53

is like a husband and wife thing you

34:56

know like everyone can relate

34:58

to this but I'll plan something

35:00

and I'll share hey

35:02

this thing's coming up hey this thing's coming up hey

35:04

this thing's here well sometimes you don't

35:07

share the plan and I find out

35:09

the day of the plan so that doesn't

35:11

count but there are times that you do tell me I think we

35:13

both do it to each other but

35:15

just not planning over each

35:17

other being thoughtful like oh I think something

35:19

happened again having a family calendar

35:22

well we finally had to because we were doing this

35:26

to each other actually yeah you had your own calendar I had

35:28

my own calendar I was like no this is happening today you're like nope

35:30

this is happening today I remember this okay double

35:32

booking our families

35:33

yeah which I've been getting more and more

35:36

like you know um when

35:38

ads or you know Instagram suggests

35:41

things to you or Facebook suggests things to you um

35:45

there's this company out there that makes like a

35:48

family calendar that sits on your counter

35:50

and it's all digital like digitized but

35:53

it's pretty cool I don't know what it's

35:55

called okay it exists

35:57

but now everyone listening to this is gonna start getting that out

36:00

on their Facebook. So

36:02

you're welcome. Okay. Number

36:05

nine. Number nine, don't forget to follow

36:07

through because your word is part

36:09

of integrity. You're either walking in it or you're

36:12

choosing not to. And this is a

36:14

big deal in marriage because we

36:16

hurt each other when we don't follow through with what we

36:18

say we're going to do.

36:18

This is a big deal in parenting. How

36:21

many times do we tell our kids, oh, tomorrow night for

36:24

something. Our kids are always like, will you snuggle me?

36:26

Like every night they want to say, well, we can't tonight.

36:29

Like, will you do tomorrow? If you tell

36:31

them yes, like, make sure you follow through

36:33

that. Okay.

36:34

Number 10, don't

36:37

forget the boundaries. Like

36:39

any boundaries, all boundaries, all

36:42

boundaries. So social media,

36:44

dealing with opposite sex in laws,

36:46

money, money. Yeah. Whatever

36:48

boundaries you guys have set, whatever boundaries the word

36:51

is set. Like, you know,

36:53

remember those boundaries and

36:56

this will protect your marriage. If

36:58

you walk in, that's what boundaries are for. Yeah. Like, can you

37:00

go to the zoo? Do you go over the boundaries

37:03

into the lion's cage? But I thought about it now. A lot

37:05

of people have, and there's

37:07

lots of videos about that, but

37:09

boundaries, they're literally a man for there

37:12

to show what's your territory and

37:14

to keep you safe from outside that territory.

37:17

Number 11, don't forget to walk spiritually

37:19

together. It's not just going to happen

37:22

magically. You have to be doing it

37:24

and you have to be checking in on each other. Ask, ask

37:26

each other, have you been reading the word? Have

37:28

you been digging in? What have you been learning? Where has

37:30

God been teaching you? Um, and,

37:33

and prayer is a part of that. Do you want to pray together?

37:35

Have you been praying? You know, what's

37:38

that like? So

37:39

that's a major one. That should have been number one. Number 12,

37:44

don't forget what attracted you to each

37:46

other.

37:47

This is a big, I think this is a big one. It's good.

37:50

What attracted you to each other, like back

37:52

then, like when you said I do, but also

37:54

what it

37:55

makes you to each other now. Yeah, because things

37:57

change. I should, I'll say develop over. over

38:00

time. Like, I'm saying we get older

38:02

and we get, our character

38:04

gets even stronger and better. Yeah,

38:07

sometimes we change for the better. Sometimes we change for the

38:09

worse, but there's always something to look to,

38:13

always something to remember and

38:15

say, oh, you know, I actually love this

38:16

so much about it. Number 13,

38:19

don't forget you already forgave them. This

38:23

is when you don't need to remember, oh,

38:26

everything. This is one of the things we

38:28

should forget. When the Bible says love keeps

38:30

no record of wrongs. Exactly. Yeah.

38:34

Yeah, if we say we forgive,

38:36

because we should, we're commanded to, and

38:40

yet we bring that thing up every

38:42

single time, then did you really

38:45

forgive? And this is a hard one for us. We've

38:47

talked about this in the past, about forgiveness and

38:49

repentance and- I think if the

38:51

Lord's willing to forgive us and remember

38:53

our sins no more, we need to be able to walk like

38:56

that in marriage.

38:57

And it's exactly what Jesus

38:59

tells us to do, that we must forgive each other. So

39:03

yeah, number 14, don't forget

39:05

you sin too. Ouch. So

39:08

when you're in that heated

39:10

moment or feeling frustrated

39:13

by your spouse because their sin has

39:15

affected you and hurt you and hurt your marriage,

39:18

just remember,

39:19

you have sin too.

39:20

Yeah, and we all do. And

39:22

not that we should ever overlook

39:24

sin because of that. I guess in like, don't

39:26

say anything, but having that understanding,

39:29

that base foundation, I was like, well, you're

39:31

a sinner, I'm a sinner. Helps you forgive,

39:34

helps you reconcile, helps you walk in

39:36

truth and in love. So it's just remember

39:39

we all have sinned. What is it? First

39:41

John says, if anyone says they do not have sin, they're a liar and the

39:43

truth is not in them. Yeah.

39:45

Crazy. Okay, number 15, I

39:47

like this one. Don't forget to do things together

39:50

and not just make plans separately. Because

39:52

sometimes we can get in a mode of like, oh,

39:54

here's a free pocket of time. I'm gonna go do

39:56

this thing over here. And then the next

39:58

day, she says.

39:59

I'm gonna take this time over

40:01

here and then eventually you guys realize. Months have gone by and

40:03

you only do things alone. Yeah, don't do that. Doing

40:05

things alone could be necessary sometimes. Sure.

40:08

There's times that I go watch a movie by myself but

40:11

I don't do that often. But a

40:13

lot of the stuff we do together. Yeah. And

40:15

so. It's good. Number 16, don't

40:17

forget to have fun. Together. I

40:21

feel like I have to remind you of this one sometimes. I

40:24

do. I get like, I have

40:26

to do this. Especially with my kids with you sometimes like,

40:29

I don't know what it is. Maybe it

40:31

was genetic the way I was raised.

40:32

Maybe some personality. But I have to like,

40:34

tell myself like, no, have fun right

40:36

now. Don't be a stick in the mud. That's

40:39

what I have to tell myself. So

40:41

maybe you listening needed to hear that.

40:43

Don't forget to have fun.

40:44

Number 17, don't forget

40:46

to explore together. We've

40:49

talked about this a lot. We are. I

40:51

think. One of our favorite things to do is explore and adventure together.

40:53

One especially just to bring it back up. We've already mentioned

40:55

like couples don't like to be on autopilot and it's

40:58

so easy to find yourself there where you're just kind of going

41:00

through the motions. If you're

41:02

week to week is feeling boring or tedious

41:05

or monotonous, which by the way, in our notes, I

41:08

had to look up how

41:10

to spell up monotonous because it's not a word

41:12

I use all the time. Oh man. I

41:14

spelled it like four different ways.

41:15

Min-not-t-ness. Min-not-t-ne-ot-ness.

41:18

Min-not-t-ness. Min-ot-t-ness.

41:21

Anyways, here's your word. Ready? Go.

41:24

Go have fun. Go explore. Go

41:27

do something. This is your

41:28

permission. Okay. Just a quick note.

41:30

We lived in California for most of our lives and

41:33

most of California we never explored.

41:35

Is that silly? Like there's so many things in California

41:38

I'm like, no. Have you ever been,

41:40

no. We're kind of creatures of habit in the sense that

41:42

like you kind of get in your routine of like school,

41:45

work, friends, family,

41:47

neighborhood.

41:48

We just went with for

41:50

like the third or fourth time to Crater Lake here

41:52

in central Oregon. It's a national park. It's

41:55

beautiful. And we took my parents and

41:57

I talked to someone that has lived here their whole

41:59

life.

41:59

lives and has never been to Crater Lake

42:02

and it's only a couple hour drive and

42:04

it's beautiful. And so

42:06

wherever you're at, you have things around

42:08

you to go explore and you're just not thinking about

42:10

it.

42:10

Yeah, go explore stuff and find what

42:12

those things are. Yeah. Be the

42:15

one person that everyone's like, wow, you've done all those things in our area.

42:17

You're like, oh yeah. And why is it

42:19

important? Because it draws you guys close together

42:21

in an experience and you're forming that memory.

42:24

You're making a memory together of something

42:26

really spectacular. You know, maybe it's

42:28

something natural that the Lord has made and you get

42:30

to sit there and be

42:33

in wonder about it, but

42:35

maybe it's just a walk.

42:37

Maybe it's just getting outside. Maybe

42:39

for some of you, it's hard to get outside. I don't know. That's

42:42

good. Yeah. Number 18, we're

42:44

almost done. Don't forget to say, I love

42:47

you.

42:48

Don't just assume they know,

42:49

tell them often. And

42:52

the best way to tell someone you love them is

42:54

by your actions. Show them

42:57

all the time that you love them.

42:59

I think with that whole don't assume that they

43:01

know is something

43:03

where you end up regretting later.

43:06

Um, if you, you know, something tragic

43:08

happens or something like nobody's guaranteed tomorrow.

43:11

Nobody's guaranteed the next five minutes and

43:13

you just don't know. And so it's really important

43:15

that we can

43:16

be mindful of what it means to say, I

43:19

love you and to say it often and to show it

43:21

often. So a quick

43:23

little, if you don't mind me saying, um,

43:26

we're actually working on some children's books

43:28

around this topic. If you've been following

43:31

us and listening for a very long time, like

43:34

it's been years in the making forever. It took us

43:36

a while to find an artist and then we, we

43:38

found her and they're so beautiful. You

43:40

guys, I'm so excited to share this. And then it

43:42

took time to format and then we

43:45

moved and that was the whole process. And so it got lost

43:47

in the shuffle, but they're so close. I'm

43:49

so excited.

43:50

And we're not going to say the name of the titles, but

43:52

it's around this idea of how to say,

43:54

I love you. Okay. So

43:56

that's coming. Um, where are we at? What number

43:58

are we on?

43:59

Don't forget your vows and the commitment

44:02

that you made to each other. They're not

44:04

just words. They were a declarative promise

44:06

and we should remember them often.

44:08

That's good. Last one, but

44:10

not least, don't forget

44:13

to initiate also. To

44:16

T-O-O. Don't forget to initiate.

44:21

If the husband or the wife, if one

44:23

of you is always doing the initiation

44:25

of sexual intimacy or

44:28

spiritual intimacy

44:30

or going on adventures or

44:33

dating, if there's one of you that's kind of doing

44:35

the moving of that, first of all,

44:38

kudos to you. But don't

44:41

let them be the only one doing it. Initiate.

44:44

Make it a mutual initiation where you desire

44:47

to, as the word says, outdo one

44:49

another in honor. That you're seeking to,

44:51

you're like, oh, you initiate. I'm going

44:54

to initiate more than you. And

44:56

then you guys do this good

44:58

fight of initiation. You

45:00

won't regret it. I promise.

45:01

We were just talking to the kids about the good fight of

45:03

like, we don't want you guys to argue just

45:05

for the sake of arguing or fighting, you know, but

45:08

if you all have said you may not do each other

45:10

with kindness and we're like, yes. So she gave

45:12

an example of like, you can go first. You

45:14

can go first. No, you go first. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of

45:16

arguing. I want to see.

45:18

Yeah, I would love that. Okay. So

45:20

that's the list of 20 things you should never forget

45:23

in marriage, but there's one more bonus

45:26

round. This is 20 plus one. You

45:28

guys don't forget to remember

45:30

what God has done for the both of you on

45:33

the cross and in your relationship and

45:35

then reminisce together and think about those things.

45:37

Just like he told the people of Israel.

45:40

He wanted them to remember his works for

45:42

them, his efforts in

45:44

their life, what he has done, because when

45:46

you remember those things, you worship

45:48

him

45:49

and you thank him. Amen. We hope

45:52

more than anything that this was a fun episode to listen

45:54

to, but also an encouraging one to

45:56

not forget some very important things when it

45:58

comes to our marriage relationships.

45:59

And not just remember them, but to be

46:02

intentional about them and do them. Okay,

46:05

so to close out for the growth spurt,

46:07

this is the last day of the month. And

46:10

so in August, we've been talking about keeping

46:12

your eyes on the prize and doting over each other.

46:14

And so this is the last day to do that. If you

46:16

guys want to do it right now,

46:19

never do it again. You can never do it again after this. Just

46:21

kidding. You have to do it every day because you're married and

46:23

being married is awesome. And

46:24

don't forget to don't over each other. So

46:27

give a cute glance,

46:30

a wink, an encouraging word,

46:32

whatever you want to let them know that they're your special

46:34

prize. Hand on the lower back. I said a hand on the

46:36

lower back. Just letting them know.

46:38

Only if you're going to massage because I

46:41

need that. A massage would be a good way to do this.

46:43

All right, so challenge

46:45

is that's for you. Do you want to praise?

46:48

Yeah. Dear Lord, thank

46:50

you for the gift of memory.

46:52

Thank you for the ability to remember the important

46:54

things and remember all that you have done for us. We

46:57

pray we would grow in our memory. We pray

46:59

it would grow stronger over time and never

47:01

deteriorate.

47:02

Lord, please help us to not just remember what is

47:05

important, but also be willing to intentionally

47:07

love each other well as we remember

47:10

and pursue these things in marriage.

47:12

We pray our marriage is blessed and that your

47:14

will is done in us. In Jesus name,

47:17

Amen.

47:56

Amen. the