0:05

the function of pears not to influence

0:07

god but rather to change the nature

0:09

of the one who prays soren kierkegaard

0:11

they were engine for

0:13

smith your hosts of marriage of the got podcast

0:17

and before we jump into port five of this a

0:19

part series on prayer we

0:21

want to read a review this is from jan

0:23

di blas potatoes perfect

0:26

timing for a marriage what's

0:28

funny she gave a two star rating that i don't

0:30

think that's where she meant a good because her her review doesn't

0:32

actually match the the rating so i'm

0:34

going to be us here it's to star says

0:37

i was newly introduced to you by your prayer emails

0:39

books and now your podcast and

0:42

fifty been married for less than seven

0:44

years in slowly had more difficult

0:46

communicating more difficulty communicating

0:48

our marriage hearing stories of similar

0:51

says issues and i'm hearing

0:53

heartfelt scriptures has

0:55

truly helped to soften my heart and learn

0:57

his way of communicating rather than ours

0:59

it still work in progress and with the

1:01

help of our of your resources we

1:04

have a renewed hope thank you very much

1:06

i'm i'm sure you've heard this already but we love

1:08

reviews i love reading this i love it's

1:10

so interesting hearing everyone's little stories

1:13

and am what gods doing in their life

1:15

and marriage and so we love him we

1:17

love getting we're seeing the ratings and reviews and

1:20

so we just i wanted to ask you if

1:22

you haven't done that if you haven't taken a moment

1:24

and left as a star rating a review we want to really

1:27

encouraging do that it truly blessed doesn't

1:29

really does help spread the

1:31

word about this podcast so that others

1:33

can be blessed like you have some take some

1:35

time today and give us a star rating in review if you haven't

1:38

already

1:39

okay exciting news i

1:41

but the marriage gift is officially released

1:43

whoop people are getting them into their

1:45

hands and we're really excited

1:48

about this

1:48

yeah if you ordered if you preordered you probably

1:50

would have a yeah you probably got it down so

1:53

that's awesome so and this but

1:55

the marriage after the collection at three hundred and sixty

1:57

five unique prayers are that we route

1:59

and

1:59

also added a supportive

2:02

prayer with each one. So that

2:04

our hope is that it would be a catalyst

2:06

for couples to be praying together, that they

2:09

would grow in spiritual intimacy. And

2:12

this is a great time of year to be able to get a resource

2:14

like this because coming to the end

2:16

of the year, I feel like it's

2:19

a good setup for people

2:21

who like challenges like you like to start off with

2:23

New Year's resolutions or just something to have

2:26

a commitment to. So getting

2:29

it before the New Year starts would be a really great way

2:31

to look forward to 2024 and

2:33

do something together with your spouse.

2:35

And I think this book is a really easy

2:39

challenge for the whole year. It really isn't

2:41

much to do each day. So

2:43

like it would take you a few minutes each day

2:46

with your spouse. And actually,

2:48

if you did get a copy of our book, if you have it

2:50

in your hands and you and you're just excited about

2:52

it, would you, if you have social media or something like it,

2:54

would you share about it? Would you let

2:56

others know? Take a picture of it. Post a

2:59

picture of your favorite prayer. Maybe

3:01

read a prayer on your social media, but

3:03

just let people know you have it.

3:05

Even for the word about it. Even if you don't have social media

3:07

or don't feel like sharing it there, word of mouth is

3:09

really powerful too. I know there's been countless times

3:11

that I'm in a group of friends and someone's

3:13

mentioning a book or resource or something

3:16

that they're using that's really impacting them.

3:18

And I'm jumping on Amazon right then and there and putting

3:20

it in my cart.

3:21

So usually how I find things is someone tells

3:23

me about it and I might go, I'm gonna check that out.

3:25

I'm gonna go check out your friends. Also,

3:27

if you just want to get the book, you can check out the

3:29

marriagegift.com and we have more

3:31

information there. You can also order it. So

3:33

just wanted you to know.

3:34

Awesome. Part five.

3:37

We're almost done with this series. We only have a few left after this.

3:40

And so we've been going through the Lord's Prayer

3:42

in Matthew chapter six and we just

3:44

really hope this has been blessing you.

3:46

I was just gonna say because we're taking it in such

3:49

small pieces. I

3:50

know we're taking like verse by verse.

3:52

I hope that nothing sounds repetitive

3:55

or that, you know, like I just hope that with

3:58

each part of the series that someone's gotten. something

4:01

new and thought-provoking about

4:03

the Lord's Prayer and about what it means to be a Christian

4:06

and to have a prayer life. I really hope that

4:08

it's been encouraging to people.

4:09

What's funny about the taking

4:11

it verse by verse is how I teach on Sunday mornings.

4:14

I take sections of the

4:16

Bible and I actually go verse by verse and sometimes

4:19

I go through like big chunks, whole chapters

4:22

in one teaching. But there's

4:24

times that I only get through one verse and it's like

4:27

these episodes have been what 30 minutes to 45 minutes.

4:30

That's how it is sometimes on Sunday mornings. I

4:32

end up teaching just through one small verse.

4:35

But that's what we've been wanting to do is really

4:38

focus on each little

4:40

piece of this teaching that Jesus gives

4:42

on prayer and pull out of it

4:45

for us. I've been, I actually been personally

4:47

getting convicted and learning a lot as

4:50

we go through this.

4:50

Cool. Well today we're going to be focusing

4:52

on Matthew chapter 6 verse 10. It

4:55

says, your kingdom come, your will

4:58

be done on earth as it is in heaven. So

5:00

this is Jesus teaching his disciples to

5:02

pray and to begin the prayers

5:05

with this

5:08

acceptance and excitement over wanting

5:11

God's will to be done.

5:12

Yeah, it's a this

5:14

first like request that we

5:17

are seeing in this prayer is for

5:19

not something that I want, not something that I

5:23

even need like in my physical, in my personal

5:26

life. It's not about me. It's actually a it's

5:28

a it's a deeper longing. It's what's

5:31

the most valuable thing. It's and what we

5:33

long for as believers is the kingdom of

5:35

God. He's teaching his disciples

5:38

to seek the kingdom of God on

5:40

earth, to see that here now.

5:44

So in learning about prayer and like the

5:47

types of things that we are seeking for

5:49

in prayer, the question is, is what

5:51

is what does it mean for the kingdom of God to come? And

5:55

this happens in a few ways. First

5:58

and most specifically,

7:42

through

8:00

us. So when we say, your kingdom

8:03

come, what we're saying is, God, how can

8:05

I build your kingdom today? How is my

8:07

life building and representing

8:10

your kingdom here on earth as

8:12

it is in heaven? And so

8:15

there's this mentality

8:19

of when we come to God that we're

8:21

not just trying

8:23

to build our thing. We're

8:25

not just trying to receive something for ourselves

8:27

alone, but we're coming to Him and

8:29

asking, what is it that you want?

8:32

What is it? What's your kingdom about? And how

8:35

am I a part of that today, God?

8:36

Yeah, it's recognizing our position

8:38

in His kingdom. So

8:40

He's the authority. He's the one who's

8:42

reigning. And even like

8:45

if we want to use the word microscopically,

8:49

listen to our life. Like, are

8:51

we fulfilling our position

8:53

and our role in His kingdom?

8:56

Yeah. And when we do

8:58

that, that's

9:01

what was the quote again that you read was, the

9:03

function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to

9:05

change the nature of the one who prays. Like

9:08

we got to think about our nature and what

9:10

we did, like our cravings and desires.

9:12

And like just, we see everything currently

9:15

just in the now, what

9:18

we know in the world and the history, like the recent

9:20

history that we have knowledge

9:22

of and to seek

9:24

God's kingdom, to ask

9:27

Him how we, where we fit into that kingdom

9:29

and how He wants to use us in that kingdom and participate

9:32

in that work, kingdom work, you know, we

9:34

get some to say, realigns

9:38

us. It changes our nature from

9:41

this nature of just the temporary

9:44

to the eternal because His kingdom is

9:46

eternal.

9:46

Yeah. As we're talking about

9:49

prayer, obviously we're talking like our individual

9:51

relationships with God. And when

9:53

we go to Him in prayer, but also because this

9:55

is a marriage podcast, we're also talking about

9:57

like, what does that look like for our, us

10:00

with along with our spouse is coming to God in

10:02

prayer for our marriage, for our

10:04

families, for His kingdom come

10:07

and what that means for our marriage, you know, and

10:10

something that we've taught along the way and really

10:13

shared in the message of the marriage after

10:16

God book that we did.

10:17

Yeah.

10:17

Is asking the question is our marriage

10:20

looking forward to His kingdom coming or

10:23

are we looking forward to building our

10:25

own kingdom here on earth?

10:26

And that's a, I think that's a

10:29

constant for believing couples

10:31

who have a walk with Christ and desire

10:34

to serve Him. I think that's a constant struggle

10:37

of what does it look like? Are we building

10:39

our thing or are we building His thing?

10:41

Yeah. And I remember you saying one time,

10:43

is your marriage representing God's heavenly

10:46

kingdom or something else? Like, are you representing

10:48

God's love story or something else? Are

10:51

you representing who He is as you are

10:53

made in His image or something else? Because

10:56

it's all by the choices that we make that we

10:58

reflect what we believe. And

11:01

I just wanted to share a quote from marriage after God.

11:03

If you guys have read that book, it might sound familiar

11:05

to you, but if you have not

11:07

after this episode, you should go get a copy of

11:09

the marriage after God book.

11:10

Okay. But on page 191,

11:12

I'm just going to read a paragraph. It says, a

11:15

marriage after God is one where the husband and wife

11:17

walk with humble hearts before the Lord and with each

11:19

other. Marriage is not about you and what you

11:21

want. Neither is it all about your spouse.

11:24

Instead, yield your hearts to the Lord and acknowledge

11:26

that your marriage has a far greater purpose

11:28

than being the means by which you are fulfilled.

11:31

Your marriage is the means by which God's purposes

11:34

are fulfilled. And He is glorified for

11:36

it is not your message. You

11:38

are striving to spread. It is not your

11:40

mission you are pursuing and it is

11:43

not your kingdom you are building. Everything

11:45

you and your spouse do is for God's message, God's

11:47

mission and the building up of God's kingdom. And

11:50

as you chase after God, you will discover that

11:52

your personal dreams and desires become the same.

11:55

And you will begin to align with His.

11:56

So I like that we

11:59

talked about how I... as we pursue His kingdom,

12:01

our personal desires and needs align

12:04

with His. That nature is changing in us.

12:07

Yeah, and talking about how prayer

12:09

changes, the one who prays, like how

12:11

often have we experienced when we're praying for something,

12:13

Aaron, and eventually

12:17

our prayers themselves start to change and we start to

12:19

change because of that alignment with God's will

12:21

and we start to understand what His purpose

12:23

is with a certain circumstance or situation

12:26

or way of being with us and our

12:28

marriage and what He's put us together

12:30

for. It's really beautiful.

12:32

See, this makes me think about my

12:37

hesitancy at times

12:39

to pray for specific things. Well,

12:42

how many times you bring

12:44

something up to me, I'm like, have you prayed

12:47

about that? What do you feel God's leading you

12:49

in that? You're like, well, not yet,

12:51

but I will, and I do

12:53

the same thing because I know that there

12:57

might be a level of selfishness

12:59

in me about a topic or a

13:01

thing, a situation.

13:03

Wanting it to turn out a certain way.

13:04

Yeah, I desire a certain result.

13:07

My concern is like, well, the moment I bring that to God, is

13:09

He going to change my mind about that? Probably,

13:12

yes. Is He going to convict me of

13:14

my position on that? That's

13:17

exactly what happens is because sometimes

13:20

my kingdom is not aligned with God's kingdom.

13:22

Very often my kingdom is not aligned with His kingdom. But

13:25

the moment we begin to pursue that, your kingdom

13:27

come, Lord, what does your kingdom look like in this situation?

13:31

What is my role in this for

13:33

you? And He

13:35

says, well, that's not it. And you're

13:37

like, oh, but I want that. You're like,

13:39

no, that's not it. That's not what I have for

13:42

you. That's not what I want. So it's

13:44

a powerful thing to have that

13:48

mindset when you're praying and talking

13:50

to your king. The advice

13:53

of desiring His kingdom and

13:55

the bringing up His kingdom and the success

13:58

of His kingdom and the Like

14:00

think about just we think about America. We're like we

14:02

want America to prosper We want we

14:04

want there to be good laws and we want there to be you

14:07

know law and order and we want there to be You know financial

14:10

success in our kingdom in our you know kingdom I

14:12

should say but our country Why

14:15

would we not want the same things for our heavenly

14:17

kingdom that we want it to succeed? Because

14:19

we're members of that yeah, that's our that's our true

14:21

home that kingdom and

14:23

so we should be desiring That

14:26

that

14:27

it

14:28

His kingdom Rules and

14:31

looking forward to it and looking for it in

14:33

every circumstance.

14:34

Well in talking about that kingdom experiencing

14:38

success and everything Real quick

14:40

going back to the verse just a portion where it says

14:42

on earth as it is in heaven And I know you

14:44

shared a little bit about how we can Represent

14:49

that on earth part right?

14:52

Do you want to just go into sharing a little bit about

14:54

what it means for us

14:57

to I guess Make

15:01

it happen like what our behavior

15:03

and our choice is in the ways that we think impact

15:06

Well, I think it yes because it goes

15:08

into that next part of that verse where

15:11

he says your will be done and

15:13

like it So both of those things you're can come and

15:15

your will be done on earth as it is in heaven There's

15:18

this part of the will the will

15:21

is what he desires what he wants to happen

15:24

and in heaven God's will is always done.

15:26

It's heaven where God lives

15:28

where he where he dwells. It's

15:30

done But on earth God's will is not always done

15:34

And I wanted to find a scripture to back this up

15:36

because I know there's probably thinking people thinking no God's

15:38

will is always done But that's

15:40

just not the case because there's sin

15:43

in the world. There's evil in the world There's things

15:45

that there's people that make choices that

15:48

are against God's will And so here's

15:50

one example 2nd Peter 3 9 It says

15:52

the Lord is not flack concerning his promise

15:55

as some men count flackness, but as long suffering

15:57

toward us Not willing

15:59

that any should perish, but that all should come

16:02

to repentance. God's will,

16:04

His heart's desire, is that all men,

16:07

all people, would come to

16:09

the knowledge of the truth, would come to

16:11

salvation, and would not die. He

16:14

doesn't want anyone to die. But that's just

16:16

not the case, because there are some people who

16:18

deny Him, who deny Christ, and

16:21

they do not receive that free gift

16:23

that He offers to the world. And so,

16:25

I just want to say that when

16:28

Jesus teaches us to pray that His will be done, we

16:31

are actively seeking His will

16:33

to be done, not only in our lives, but in the lives of those around

16:35

us. We want it. Otherwise,

16:38

He wouldn't teach us to pray for it, if

16:40

He didn't care that we saw it or not. But

16:43

He does.

16:45

Do you think that God needs us

16:47

for His will to

16:50

happen? Needs? Those

16:52

are big questions. I don't think God

16:54

needs anything. He's God. But

16:57

I think He desires us. That's a big

16:59

difference. This

17:02

is true in our lives.

17:05

There's plenty of things that we need,

17:08

and then there's plenty of things that we desire, but don't

17:10

necessarily

17:10

need. What I love is, let's

17:13

say that there's a certain circumstance

17:15

or situation that has happened that, but say that

17:17

wouldn't have been a part of God's will, but because

17:19

of choices made

17:21

and the way that

17:23

things are happening, that thing happened.

17:26

I love that in His goodness, He

17:28

still uses that thing

17:30

for good. That's

17:32

something that's amazing about God, especially when we

17:35

pray for God's will to be done.

17:38

That in situations where you can

17:42

think about all of the hard things, all of the painful

17:44

things, all of the bad things, there's really

17:46

bad things. Those bad

17:48

things were not God's will, but

17:51

there are things that God does will out of it. He

17:53

desires reconciliation. He desires

17:56

restoration, repentance, healing, lots

17:59

of things that He will. wants to come out of that. And

18:01

when the Bible says that, he works all

18:03

things together for good for those who

18:06

love him and are called according to his purposes. So

18:08

not only does God have a will and there

18:11

are people that can go against that, but

18:13

then he can work those things

18:17

for his will. Still,

18:19

which I blows my mind. So I think

18:21

this plays out in our marriages also when

18:25

we don't walk in his will. Example,

18:28

God's will is that a husband and wife walk

18:30

in their roles, in love, in

18:33

strength, that

18:36

a man would love his wife as Christ, loves the church,

18:38

that a woman would honor her husband,

18:40

respect, peace, unity.

18:42

Then

18:45

everyone listening right now is like, well that doesn't...

18:46

Yeah, I was just thinking, we don't even do that. That

18:49

is God's will

18:49

though. That's what he wants. I've

18:52

heard it said this, but his perfect will, like

18:55

what he actually desires, how

18:57

things would play out. And then there's his permissible

18:59

things that he allows because

19:02

he's allowing us to do

19:04

what we do. I

19:07

will say this about marriage because

19:10

we've had the experiences along

19:12

the years. When we are actively pursuing God in his

19:14

word, understanding

19:22

his word, and having

19:25

spiritual disciplines such as praying together,

19:28

we are more aligned with

19:31

him and with each other in a way that we're able

19:33

to walk out his will

19:35

in our marriage. We are kind, we are

19:37

compassionate, we are loving, we are forgiving

19:40

of one another. And I'll

19:43

say that the times that we usually

19:46

are experiencing

19:48

strife or frustration or the

19:50

feeling that disunity, one

19:53

or both of us is not choosing

19:56

to actively walk

19:57

in his spirit. Yeah,

19:59

that's true.

19:59

And so this this happens. I hope

20:02

this is making sense that like

20:04

ultimately God is God and

20:06

He's in control, but

20:08

He

20:09

It's hard to it's hard to understand. It's hard

20:11

to explain but He does have a will and

20:14

Jesus tells us to pray for it

20:15

And Jesus tells us to pray for it and ask

20:17

for it and seek it.

20:19

Okay. I have another quick question Just so

20:21

we can flush it out when we pray for

20:23

things we desire You know, let's

20:25

say healing or breakthrough or whatever

20:27

we're praying for It could be about our marriage or about others.

20:30

Um, and then follow the prayer with may

20:33

your will be done So maybe

20:35

you're praying for healing. Okay, but

20:37

then at the end but you close it with but let your will be

20:39

done Is that a lack of belief that

20:41

that thing is going to happen? Or

20:43

or is that how we should be praying no matter what we pray? well

20:48

I it's definitely not a lack of belief because Jesus

20:50

prayed exactly that way And we we've brought

20:53

this up several times now in the garden of Gethsemane when he's

20:55

about to go to the cross He says lord,

20:57

let this cup pass for me the cup of wrath the

20:59

the cup that represents what he's about to endure

21:02

And then he always followed up with but not my will

21:05

be done but yours Because he's

21:07

saying in that moment in his his

21:10

human flesh His

21:12

flesh had a different will than what God's was But

21:14

guess what he did?

21:16

God's will

21:17

not his own And so right

21:19

there in that one example, we see two wills

21:22

at play and the bible teaches us

21:24

there are two Will's

21:26

at play at all times But

21:29

god we're warned to make sure

21:31

that we're seeking God's will

21:34

Because when we're in his will is the safest

21:36

place when we're in his ways is the safest

21:39

place um It's

21:41

a it it makes Sense,

21:44

but it's also so confusing. Yeah, so

21:48

Yeah, and also there's oftentimes

21:50

when we pray these things When we come

21:52

to God and we say God, what is your will? What

21:55

is your will in this moment? The spirit

21:57

changes the directions of our hearts like

21:59

gives us wisdom. Because

22:02

sometimes we start out praying and we actually don't know the full

22:04

scope of what we're actually praying for and as

22:07

we continue on in prayer, there's clarity.

22:10

There's understanding or there's change of our character

22:12

or there's change of our perspective.

22:13

You shared a scripture

22:16

on a podcast we just were being interviewed

22:18

on. It was your favorite scripture. Can you

22:20

just summarize it

22:21

real quick? It's Proverbs 3, 5-6 and

22:23

it says, Trust in the Lord with all your ways, acknowledge him

22:25

and he will make sure you pass. And

22:28

it says, Lean not on your own understanding. Didn't

22:31

I not say that?

22:32

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on

22:34

your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and

22:36

he will make sure you pass.

22:38

The reason we pray these things, your

22:41

will be done,

22:42

your kingdom come, is because

22:44

we don't know everything.

22:47

We don't have full understanding. We don't

22:49

know his will always.

22:52

So we have to ask, what

22:55

is your will? What's your will right

22:57

now,

22:58

today? And often

23:01

his Holy Spirit is going to point us right back to scripture.

23:04

What's your will in this situation with me and my wife?

23:06

Well, Aaron, my will is that you

23:08

would walk with your wife in an understanding

23:10

way. My will is that you would love her as Christ

23:13

as a church giving himself up for her. My

23:15

will is that you would be patient. My will is that you

23:17

would be gentle. My will is that you would

23:19

not be harsh. My will, and he reminds me of all

23:21

the scriptures.

23:22

He reminds you of these things while you're praying for

23:25

his will.

23:26

Well, that's what he does. He

23:29

doesn't mean I always listen. But that is what he wants. He

23:33

wants us to remember the things that

23:35

he's shown us and how he's

23:37

revealed himself to us.

23:39

I had a really cool picture when

23:42

we were filling out the notes for this podcast episode.

23:45

And we often talk about the analogy of the

23:47

potter in the clay. I think it's just an easy, natural

23:50

one to go to because the Bible talks about it. But also

23:52

it's just a really, it's a really cool

23:54

picture of imagining God's hands working you

23:56

like a piece of clay and, and how

23:59

he shaped. shapes us and being on

24:01

it, you know, I always imagine the clay being on

24:04

one of those spinning wheels and in order

24:06

to shape and maneuver

24:08

the clay, I would

24:10

think about water and how

24:12

a potter or an artist will

24:15

dip their hand or use a sponge in some way

24:17

and add moisture to the

24:19

clay and the water

24:21

prevents the clay from drying

24:24

out or if there's little cracks or mess

24:26

ups in it, it like folds it back in and you

24:28

know, it just makes it moldable. And

24:30

so I was thinking of prayer as

24:33

like the water, a means of

24:36

connecting us to God and allowing

24:38

him to shape us and mold us.

24:40

It's like the in-between. When that goes back to like the

24:42

husbands washing their wives with the water

24:45

by the word, like the water

24:47

also is the word of God that

24:49

makes us pliable. But when

24:51

we seek the will of God, right, we're

24:55

seeking His knowledge. Like I said, when I pray

24:57

and God, the Holy Spirit brings back to remembrance

24:59

things He's already said. Yeah. And

25:02

that's His will. He's like, here's my will. I've

25:04

shown it to you. This is what I desire. That

25:07

was a really good analogy to water making

25:09

the clay moldable.

25:10

Yeah. It's just

25:12

the means or that in-between, you know,

25:14

and when you're thinking about going

25:16

to God and having that

25:19

spiritual intimacy with Him, I don't

25:21

know, it's just a really cool

25:22

thing. It's what's between the clay and His

25:24

hand. Right? You're like,

25:27

oh, I need to meet you there. Yeah. And

25:29

He meets us there. And He mold us. He

25:31

does mold us. So

25:34

desiring His will is so

25:36

we're seeking His kingdom and desiring His

25:38

will, which is amazing.

25:42

So the question is, then what is the

25:44

will of God? And there's lots of scriptures

25:47

that talk about specifically what the will of God is.

25:49

But like I just mentioned, first and

25:51

foremost, like His word is already revealed, the

25:54

will, His will to us. So

25:57

we might be asked ourselves, and this is often where the question

26:00

comes in is like, Oh, what job should

26:02

I take? Or what, you know, direction should I take on

26:04

the highway? Or, you know, at what time

26:06

should I leave these kind of like, these minor

26:09

details in our lives, that we want to

26:11

know the quote unquote, will have gotten. But

26:14

often it's, it's a step above that several

26:16

steps above that, where he's already revealed how

26:19

we should think about these things, how we should operate

26:21

in these things, who we should trust

26:23

in the in, in these decisions. And

26:26

so it's not as like, kind

26:28

of sometimes I believe the Holy Spirit speaks

26:31

to someone on something specifically like that. But

26:34

I think the majority of the time, he's already revealed

26:36

it to us in his word, like I brought up, like

26:38

how I should treat you as a wife. Like that

26:40

covers a multitude of scenarios

26:44

in our life and direction.

26:47

But there are some scriptures that specifically

26:49

speak to the will of God. The first one

26:51

being Romans 12 to says, Do not be

26:54

conformed to this world, but be transformed by the

26:56

renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern

26:59

what is the will of God, what is good and

27:02

acceptable and perfect. So

27:04

this is a part of God's will

27:07

is being transformed so that we

27:09

would also know what the will of God is. And

27:12

we're being transformed by our

27:14

minds being renewed,

27:15

which is being renewed by the word. Amen.

27:18

Another one is first Thessalonians 518. It says,

27:21

Give thanks in all circumstances for this is

27:23

the will of God in Christ Jesus for

27:25

you. And so having a heart of gratitude,

27:27

I was just thinking about in marriage, how often

27:30

we, we, we are not

27:32

thankful in the moment for a specific

27:35

circumstance or situation, which maybe later

27:37

on after we do pray or

27:39

have more clarity for, we, we understand

27:42

that we can be thankful for hard things.

27:44

But kind of that, that immediate

27:47

response to things like are we able and capable

27:49

of giving things in all circumstances? Do

27:52

we go there with God? Can we? Well,

27:54

and this

27:54

brings me back to this,

27:57

your kingdom coming will be done. When

27:59

we think about God's Kingdom and His will.

28:02

Do you, are you thankful? You're like,

28:04

thank you for like letting me into your kingdom.

28:07

For inviting me to be here. Like as we learned last week,

28:09

uh, last episode, um, being

28:11

your children, you've, you've made us your children.

28:14

You've made me new. You've forgiven me. There's

28:17

so much we have to be thankful

28:19

for. Not, not just, um,

28:21

not even to count all of the like

28:24

personal details of our lives that we could be thankful for,

28:26

but just the overall goodness

28:29

of the gospel and what it has done for us. That

28:32

our prayers should be

28:34

laden with Thanksgiving.

28:36

This is God's will Thanksgiving. Um,

28:40

first Peter two 15, for this is the will of

28:42

God that by doing good,

28:44

you should put to silence the ignorance of

28:47

the foolish people of foolish people.

28:49

So again, his will is

28:52

Thanksgiving. His will is being renewed. His

28:54

will is doing good. These

28:57

are, these are things that he actually desires

28:59

his, his kingdom builders

29:01

to do.

29:02

When I saw this verse on here,

29:04

I get really sensitive cause I'm a peacemaker

29:06

at heart. I'm like, wait, that sounds kind of harsh.

29:09

Yeah, that sounds mean put to silence, ignorance. But,

29:11

um, God

29:13

quickly comforted me and was like, when it says,

29:16

um, put to silence, the ignorance of foolish people, that's

29:18

someone who quickly responds and

29:20

quickly says something out of their mouth without knowledge,

29:23

without knowing, without understanding. And

29:26

when they're silent, it's because they're thinking about it.

29:29

And so there was comfort in knowing that,

29:31

uh, when you are walking in the will of God

29:34

and doing good, you put

29:36

them to silence because you make them think about

29:38

what it is that you're doing and why you're doing it and

29:41

it leads them back to the Lord. And so it's a good thing.

29:42

At least that's how I

29:45

reconcile it. First

29:47

Thessalonians four three for this is the will

29:49

of God, your sanctification

29:52

that you're seeing from sexual morality, that

29:54

each one of you know how to control his own body

29:57

and holiness and honor, not in the passions

29:59

of less. the Gentiles who do not know God,

30:02

that no one transgress and wrong his brother

30:04

in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in

30:07

all these things. As we told you beforehand

30:09

in Psalm, we warn you, for God has not called us

30:11

for impurity, but for holiness." So

30:14

his will is that we are sanctified.

30:17

And then more specifically, that

30:19

we're sanctified in this area of sexual

30:21

morality and holiness and

30:24

lust and overall walking

30:27

in self-control and purity. That's

30:30

again another will of God. So...

30:32

And a blessing for your marriage when you walk in it. Another

30:36

one's Micah 6-8. He has told

30:38

you, O man, what is good and what does the Lord

30:40

require of you but to do justice and

30:43

to love kindness and to walk humbly with

30:46

your God. There

30:46

you go. You want to know what God's

30:48

will is? That you would do justice,

30:52

love kindness and walk humbly before

30:54

God. 1 Timothy 2-4, first

30:57

of all, then I urge the supplications...

31:01

Let me start over. First

31:03

of all, then I urge that supplications,

31:06

prayers, intercessions and thanksgivings

31:09

be made for all people, for kings

31:11

and all who are in high positions, that we may

31:13

lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified

31:16

in every way. This is good and it is pleasing

31:18

in the sight of God our Savior who desires

31:20

all people to be saved and to come to the

31:22

knowledge of the truth. So what does he desire? That

31:25

all people be saved and come to the knowledge.

31:27

Yeah, and he also

31:29

urges us that we would lift up prayers

31:32

and supplications and intercessions and thanksgiving

31:34

for everyone, our leaders, our

31:37

kings and

31:39

our friends, our parents. And

31:42

then I love that in the middle of this it says that

31:44

we may lead peaceful and quiet lives. Godly

31:47

and dignified. That's his will

31:49

for us.

31:50

So

31:52

there's many things that we may have questions about,

31:55

but we can definitely know the will of God. We

31:57

can look in description and be like, wow, okay. And

32:00

if you were to just break down all of these, you can dig in and

32:03

there's probably answers to almost everything in your life in

32:05

a lot of these things. Like, oh,

32:07

this thing's happening? Well, Thanksgiving. Oh, but

32:09

I'm not thankful. Walt's is will.

32:12

They'd be thankful. So we should

32:15

be asking for that.

32:15

You had already had

32:17

me bring it up earlier, but I did have in here

32:20

to share Proverbs 3, 5, 2, 6, because

32:22

when we're considering God's will and we're praying for his

32:24

will to be done in our lives and in our marriages.

32:28

Even more so when we feel unclear

32:30

about what his will is, maybe for a specific

32:33

circumstance or situation, we can pray

32:35

and ask God to help us cling to this

32:38

next verse that I'm going to share again and believe

32:40

it and do what it says. But it's Proverbs 3, 5,

32:42

2, 6, and it says, trust in the Lord with all your heart

32:44

and do not lean on your own understanding and all your

32:47

ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths and

32:49

how challenging it is to our flesh sometimes to

32:52

not lean on our own understanding when we think

32:54

and we're convinced that we know what is right,

32:56

that we know what is good, that we know what is perfect

32:58

even and we're trying to convince our spouse

33:01

that our understanding is the best way. We

33:04

end up in turmoil. We end up in strife. And

33:07

so this is just a good reminder to trust the

33:09

Lord and to lean on

33:11

him and to acknowledge him.

33:13

So some questions for

33:15

us to consider when we pray, what are

33:17

we pursuing?

33:18

Are we pursuing our kingdom, our

33:21

will? Are we pursuing God's

33:23

kingdom and his will? Are

33:26

we praying that God changes our spouse and

33:29

forgetting about our own hearts, our own

33:31

sanctification, our own transformation?

33:33

Or are we praying that he blesses

33:35

us so we don't ever have to face anything difficult

33:38

or hard or challenging?

33:39

Yes. I'm always praying for that. I

33:42

mean, we're not condemning these prayers,

33:45

but it is good to think about. Like when

33:47

we pray these, are we still actually

33:49

desiring God's will? Are

33:51

we desiring that like, okay, Lord, as

33:53

I'm going through this, what is your will? This

33:56

is hard. Oh, you want me to be thankful. Teach

33:59

me how to do that. That's really hard for me right now.

34:01

When we come to him, are we just praying for

34:03

the things that we want and desire and request

34:05

of him or are we also praying that his

34:07

will be done? Are we praying with

34:10

gratitude and thanksgiving and

34:12

reminding him that we trust him and

34:15

that we are ready to embrace whatever he

34:17

has for us?

34:18

We've had some feedback years

34:21

ago about our 31 prayers for my future husband

34:23

and future wife books. Different

34:25

people commented that as they were praying

34:27

the prayers in those books, they realized

34:29

they needed God to change them. And

34:32

shape

34:32

them and prepare them for their spouse.

34:34

Because

34:36

when we've written these books and these

34:38

prayers, our intention is not just to

34:40

give them like, oh, here's all the prayers that you would probably

34:42

already pray. We wanted to

34:45

use it as a way of opening their

34:47

eyes, opening our eyes to

34:50

God's will for us. Like again,

34:52

prayer changes the prayer. And

34:55

that's what's pretty interesting is they would

34:57

read these prayers. They'd be like, oh,

34:59

I'm praying this thing, but for my

35:01

future spouse that I would desire them to be, but I'm realizing

35:03

I need that too. I need that too. I'm

35:06

not that right now. God help me be

35:08

that.

35:08

Which is exactly what we've experienced, especially

35:11

in our dating and engaged years, you

35:13

know, and throughout marriage that when

35:15

we come to him with the heart of like, oh, just

35:18

I want this for this person that we realize

35:21

we're humbled and we recognize what we

35:23

need. The prayer often looks like

35:25

this. And I see

35:27

the speck in their eyes, but

35:29

would you show me my log in

35:31

my own? Because

35:34

we forget sometimes that we have

35:36

things that we need to be looking at in ourselves.

35:39

And often we tend to see the thing in us so

35:42

clearly in our spouse.

35:43

Yeah. I

35:45

just want to go back to the quote that we opened

35:47

up with. It's by throwing

35:49

Kierkegaard and it says, the function of prayer is not

35:52

to influence God, but rather to change the nature

35:54

of the one who prays and just ask like,

35:56

do we believe it? Do we believe

35:58

that?

35:59

Yeah, I do. Yeah,

36:02

we've talked quite a bit about this in this series

36:04

already about evaluating our hearts,

36:08

which I think is a good

36:10

thing that we should all do as believers, like

36:13

asking like, what is, what's in

36:15

me?

36:16

Do we believe that we can, our prayers

36:18

can influence God or do you think that

36:20

he just wants us to come to him, but that

36:23

we desire?

36:24

Well,

36:27

I think, because

36:30

this would go to this like, well, are we changing God?

36:32

Yeah. The Bible says God doesn't change,

36:34

right? But

36:37

I think there's a part of our

36:39

relationship with God that he allows us to come

36:42

to him with requests. Like

36:44

I just think about the stories in the Old Testament,

36:46

where it seems as though someone praying

36:49

like Moses changes God's mind on something. And

36:52

so I think he, I think by his choice and his will, he

36:54

allows us to influence him.

37:00

It's a, again,

37:02

it's a weird thing because I, God's holy and he's

37:05

omniscient and omnipotent and

37:07

he's all powerful and almighty and

37:09

he's sovereign and in control and

37:11

created everything. But

37:14

there's something, I don't know how

37:17

it works, but he, from what I've seen in scripture,

37:19

it seems like he, he allows for this exchange.

37:24

Yeah. This engagement. I don't know. I don't know. Something

37:27

that I wanted to share is our 31 prayers for my husband and 31 prayers for

37:29

our wife,

37:31

books, have a subtitle and it says, seeing God move in his heart

37:34

and seeing God move

37:38

in her heart. And what's cool about that is, yeah, I don't, I don't

37:40

know if the prayers that we pray for our

37:46

spouse make God do anything different than what he's already

37:49

willed. Right. But what it does

37:51

is it opens our eyes, the prayer for the

37:53

things that we're praying to see him.

37:59

already moving in them

38:02

to see how he's moving in them. It

38:04

like, for me, when

38:06

I pray for you, it opens my eyes to

38:08

see all the ways that God is moving in your life.

38:12

I like that.

38:13

Yeah. Okay, so

38:15

I got some questions for us. Do we see prayer

38:18

as something that we're checking off? Like

38:20

it's just, it's a box. Like I'm a Christian and

38:23

check, I did my prayer for the day. Do

38:25

we see it as a? Try

38:28

it here and there or? Yeah, I'm

38:30

gonna do it only when I feel like it's most

38:32

necessary. Am I gonna do it? You know,

38:34

just when things are really hard. Or

38:36

in a people pleasing way of like, I

38:38

know my spouse wants me to do this, so I'm just gonna do it.

38:40

Yeah. Do you see it like as

38:42

a last ditch effort because everything

38:45

else in your power is failed? And you're like, okay, now I'm gonna try

38:47

going to God. Or do you

38:50

pray because you truly desire

38:52

to be close to God and

38:54

because you want to share

38:56

your heart and be known by him? Do

38:58

you pray because you trust that he does

39:01

hear you and that he does have the power

39:03

to move?

39:03

Yeah, and we don't ask

39:05

these questions to shame anyone because

39:08

we've all answered each one of these different

39:11

ways at different times. But

39:14

we're all imperfect in

39:17

this flesh. And as believers, we

39:20

have different motivations at different times for why

39:22

we go to God and

39:25

how we pray and the things we pray. I

39:27

remember

39:27

my last labor and delivery

39:29

was with Edith and I had made a commitment prior

39:32

to going into labor that with every contraction

39:34

I was gonna pray. And it was

39:37

cool and it was twofold because the contraction

39:39

was a cue, hey, pray for those that I love

39:41

who are around me and also for people in the

39:44

world who need God. And prayer

39:46

at the time was a distraction from the pain I

39:48

was experiencing.

39:51

So that kind of could take a good analogy

39:53

for life is going to God is like

39:55

praying to distract us from the

39:58

flesh and the... and

40:00

the things in life, but not necessarily distraction,

40:02

but like to focus on something

40:05

else.

40:05

Yeah, I was not even bringing it up for metaphorical

40:07

reasons. I was just saying that we're all motivated for

40:09

different reasons. But it was a good metaphor.

40:12

It was a good metaphor. No, I

40:15

think that it's important to remember that our motivations

40:17

and intentions matter, but

40:20

they can be layered as

40:22

well. And that God moves in us even

40:24

with just the commitment to be obedient

40:27

in that way, to pray. Well, and that's

40:28

been the theme of Jesus'

40:31

teaching on prayer. The Lord's prayer is

40:33

this idea of sincerity and

40:36

a trueness of relationship that we

40:38

actually know God and He knows us.

40:40

Yeah, the word sincerity means genuineness,

40:43

honesty, freedom from deceit and

40:45

freedom from hypocrisy.

40:47

Yeah, we've talked about all these things. Honesty and intention

40:50

and in communicating

40:51

earnestness. Yeah. When I

40:53

was looking at the word sincerity, because I really feel like

40:55

this is like to answer the question, what am I pursuing

40:58

when I pray? It's like, well, you should be praying with

41:00

sincerity. The

41:04

Wikipedia, it was talking about

41:06

the Latin word for it, sinceres,

41:09

meaning clean, pure and sound, which

41:11

I like that. And

41:14

it may have once meant one growth,

41:16

which I thought was cool,

41:18

one growth. You can't understand

41:21

that. It's just how they like

41:24

take the root words of things and put them together.

41:27

But I like the word growth in there when you're talking about sincerity

41:29

and prayer. And like, I

41:31

don't know. It was exciting to me

41:33

when I wrote it down. Okay, there was this one

41:35

little part that said there was controversy

41:37

to this portion, but I thought it was really cool

41:40

in talking about sincerity.

41:45

Okay, so let me try

41:47

and make sense of this for you guys. I'm

41:49

just gonna read it. An often repeated folk

41:52

etymology proposes that

41:54

sincere is derived from the Latin

41:57

sign, is that sign? S-I-M-E. sign,

42:01

which equals without Sarah

42:03

equals wax.

42:05

That's without wax.

42:06

Without wax. According to

42:09

one popular explanation, dishonest

42:11

sculptors in Rome or Greece would cover

42:13

flaws in their work with wax to deceive

42:16

the viewer. Therefore a sculpture without

42:18

wax would be one that was honestly

42:21

represented. And later

42:23

on it went on to say that there were these

42:25

sculptures that were given that

42:31

had wax

42:33

on them to Greece and they

42:36

melted in the sun. And so

42:38

they were like, they were revealed

42:40

to be frauds. Yeah. So

42:43

again, this is, there's some controversy to what this

42:45

means, but I thought it was really interesting

42:47

to see how like this, the correlation

42:49

between a sculpture

42:52

and having this part of them that's not

42:55

actually real or a part of it

42:57

being with wax. You know,

42:59

yeah, I think that's, that makes

43:01

sense. Again, this is a controversy. This is not

43:03

necessarily saying that this is

43:05

a folklore like it,

43:08

they, they, it's been talked about. Yeah. Maybe

43:11

it came from this idea, but I like the picture of it because

43:14

this is something we've talked about this earlier

43:16

on in the first, you know, handful of first

43:18

couple of episodes of the series of

43:21

hypocrisy and, and, and coming

43:23

to God with a foot with a mask on. Yeah.

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Like I'm going to show you only the side that I want to show you. I'm going

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to pretend to be something

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exactly where they were using the wax to

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cover up flaws and cracks and things. Like

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we can't do that when we go to God, we

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have to be honest and sincere. We have to be truthful,

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just like we want our spouse to be

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in marriage. And that's

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when we come to God and sincerity, then what we're doing

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is we're revealing those imperfections

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because that's what we are and

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asking the creator to

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fix them, to work on us

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like the clay.

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So our encouragement for you guys today in answering

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this question, what are we pursuing when we

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pray? Pursue prayer

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with an honest and sincere heart

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and start by asking the Lord for

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His will to be done.

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In His kingdom.

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In His kingdom, especially when it comes to our marriages.

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Okay, so at the end of every episode, we

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end with a prayer. And so we

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thought it would be awesome to end with this

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one from the marriage gift. It's 254

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and it's titled the posture of our hearts.

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Dear Lord, thank

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you for the gift of another day to live a life

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of worship, praising you with our actions

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and our words. Will you direct our

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eyes to notice all the moments you give us today

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to make right our posture before you and

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before each other? Holy Spirit, will

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you work in our hearts making them pleasing and

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honoring to you? May the posture of our

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hearts be humble and sincere. Lord

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remove any pride and selfishness that creeps

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up in us. Give us deep consideration

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for one another, being thoughtful to check in

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with each other. Make us a couple who listens

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with pure compassion and grace. Help

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us seek to benefit one another in any

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way we can. Lord we ask for

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a supernatural understanding of each other. Give

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us the gift of being keen

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on how each other is doing so that we may

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know each other well and bless each other. If

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we are in conversation and hear something that stirs up

45:23

anger, encourage us to evaluate

45:25

the posture of our hearts. May we

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address our emotions and work them out

45:29

with self-control. Lord please

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help us to walk righteously and humbly, trusting

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you in all your ways. In Jesus

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name we pray, amen. The

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verse that goes with this is Proverbs 3.5, trust

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in the Lord with all your hands and

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do not lean on your own understanding. We

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just hope that this has blessed you. We

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have a few more episodes in this series so keep

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on the lookout for the next three

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episodes. he

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oh ah