Will your husband change when he understands how much something hurts you? Sometimes a husband is not aware that something he is doing is hurting you. Letting him know helps him become aware and helps him know that he needs to change an action. Some actions can be changed very quickly. Others take time to change. Some actions are multifaceted and require changes on multiple levels. These actions require effort, introspection, and trial and error. Just because your husband did not change right away, might not mean that he doesn't love you and doesn't care if you're hurt. It might mean that he is trying to change, but it is taking trial and error on his part. Instead of explaining over and over again how his actions hurt you, it may be helpful to try to understand why he is doing what he is doing. Guys tend to not be as introspective or as deep as women. If he tells you that he doesn't know, it is probably because he doesn't. Oftentimes men learn by doing. As he attempts to change the behavior, the understanding about why he cannot will become clearer. You seeking to understand why he wasn't able to perform a task accomplishes two things. The first thing it does, is it lends to helping you have empathy for your husband's failings. The second thing it does, is it requires your husband to be introspective. As he is being introspective, he will gain a better understanding of what he needs to change about himself. Don't think your husband will be as introspective as you can be. Men tend to be a lot simpler in the way they create meaning of the world. This doesn't mean that their understanding won't work. Simple understanding can create movement just as easily as complex understanding can. 

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