0:04

Speaker 1: the next week I'm going to get you. Here's a

0:06

question for you Is marriage overrated? Why aren't people

0:13

getting married anymore? A new Pew Research poll found that two

0:16

and five young adults think marriage is an outdated

0:19

tradition. Speaker 2: Marriage rates are at their lowest right now. Is

0:23

marriage really even worth? Speaker 1: it More than half of marriages and divorce. If you

0:28

get married, that's why you get married, so that's why it's

0:31

declining. Why would you get married if you don't? If you

0:33

want to have just one partner when you can have multiple

0:36

marriage is stupid. Speaker 2: Welcome to the Married Day podcast, the

0:40

self-proclaimed greatest marriage relationship podcast on

0:43

the planet. Self-proclaimed. We're not there yet, but we're

0:46

getting there. We are your host, Matthew and Monica Powers, and

0:48

we are here for another new episode of the podcast. You are

0:51

back from Juarez, mexico.

0:54

Speaker 1: Fresh off it plane. Speaker 2: Yes, like this time yesterday you were still in the

0:59

air, but here we are back recording again. Amazing trip,

1:03

but we're so happy that you're back. Speaker 1: And that's why I sound like this.

1:06

Speaker 2: Yes, from you know the change in temperature, change in atmosphere, all the dust being in the desert. You

1:10

know it's just one of those things that it totally worth it.

1:13

Kind of happens, but it's been a great week. You guys had a

1:18

blast. You did a lot of amazing things. Yes but you're back and

1:22

ready to recover. Speaker 1: Yes, two hundred and seventeen children.

1:26

Speaker 2: Amazing. Speaker 1: How many kids we gave Christmas to?

1:29

Speaker 2: yes that would have had none of it, not just, not

1:33

only Christmas, but, you know, unlikely they'll have food, water, anything whatsoever For we're not for you guys. So we're

1:39

so happy that you're back. We're happy everyone is back and

1:42

listening. This week was like a record number of downloads on

1:46

the podcast. I don't know what's going on, but we want to thank

1:48

everyone who is listening and liking and subscribing and commenting and the posts and just all of the different things

1:54

and ways to interact. It's been awesome. So hopefully we'll be

1:58

able to provide something else for you today, but I'm kind of

2:01

excited about it. I think it's going to be fun because we're discussing fun, fun, fun. Have fun in your marriage. I see in

2:08

the episode. See you later. It's that easy. We should have fun.

2:12

We have fun. We have a ton of fun, we laugh a lot, we joke

2:17

around a lot, and I think that that's needed in marriage.

2:21

Speaker 1: Absolutely. Speaker 2: Because I believe that people they don't do it

2:25

anymore. They're not, they're not having fun, they're not

2:27

enjoying themselves, they're not enjoying their spouse. I think

2:30

they're way too serious, they take things way too seriously

2:34

and they're just not laughing. Speaker 1: Why.

2:37

Speaker 2: I don't know what the reason is, but we're here to

2:39

try and change that and let you know how fun it is to laugh and

2:43

joke around and have fun with your spouse and the impact that

2:46

a cat can have. Speaker 1: Do you think it's just their spouse or it's just

2:50

not their spouse? Speaker 2: How do you feel about it and why don't you ask out

2:56

into your life and how are you going to be with them? Across

2:58

the board? Speaker 1: I think overall, across the board, people are

3:03

more anxious and upset and frustrated, and more, I guess

3:07

worried about what the world says and what the world thinks

3:10

about them, that at the end of the day people are taking

3:14

themselves entirely too seriously. I feel like this time

3:17

of year it might get worse. We're in like a week on

3:20

Thanksgiving with their family. Speaker 2: And that's a lot, because a lot of times when you

3:24

get around family and I know it's not true for all people,

3:26

but for a lot of people you get the same well, what's going on?

3:31

What are you doing? How's the job, how's the family, how's the

3:34

wife, how's the kids? Well, why aren't you doing this yet? Why

3:36

haven't y'all done this yet? Why , especially those who aren't

3:39

married? And maybe they're thinking why haven't you gotten

3:42

married yet? You haven't found yourself a husband yet? Or hey,

3:44

when are you gonna give us some grandkids around here? When are

3:47

you gonna have children and when are you gonna do this? And I

3:49

think there's a lot of pressure that's put on people to progress

3:52

in a certain depth of their relationship or depth of their

3:56

lives. Maybe they're just not prepared for it yet, or maybe

3:58

they're a little scared of it. Speaker 1: Maybe. So we got the why I don't have grandkids yet.

4:03

Speaker 2: Yeah, we've heard that. Speaker 1: No, I mean for my parents, mm-hmm, and I wasn't

4:08

having kids. Speaker 2: No, we weren't having kids, and now we got two. But

4:11

you can't anymore. That's done. Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, we talked about that.

4:15

Speaker 2: go back and listen to that episode. But at the end of the day, I think we're taking ourselves way too seriously,

4:20

like we can't make fun of ourselves. Speaker 1: No.

4:22

Speaker 2: At all and we have to be all tidy and buttoned up and

4:27

perfect and we can't make a mistake or be goofy at all.

4:33

Speaker 1: Only when people are watching. Speaker 2: Oh yeah, by when we're by ourselves, we're

4:36

probably very much like that, but when other people are

4:39

watching, for sure it's something that we don't want to

4:43

let the world know. Speaker 1: Right. Speaker 2: We don't want the world to see every one of us.

4:47

Speaker 1: That's why, when the world knows something, maybe,

4:51

that you don't like about yourself, they will run with it

4:54

just to make you feel bad, or they will go back to 1998, when

5:01

you said something stupid.

5:04

Speaker 2: So what was it? Speaker 1: And you were completely. Speaker 2: What was it you said 1998? Then I'm just joking.

5:09

Speaker 1: Just joking, just going with the year here they

5:11

will, they'll find and they'll just press and push, especially

5:15

if you were in a maybe a political life or in the

5:24

mainstream where people you are like a leadership role.

5:28

Speaker 2: Maybe In the spotlight at all. Speaker 1: Influencer.

5:31

Speaker 2: If you're in a spotlight at all, there's any focus put on you, then, yeah, I can see where people are,

5:36

especially if people don't like you. Speaker 1: They're gonna go back and try to dig up the worst

5:40

possible thing you could have ever done in your life.

5:43

Speaker 2: Yeah, you laughed at that joke. You watched that

5:45

movie and thought it was fun. Why? Speaker 1: doesn't anybody go back and say, Kim Kardashian,

5:49

you're famous because you sold a sex tape.

5:52

Speaker 2: That's exactly why she's famous, that her dad was famous, but that.

5:55

Speaker 1: Step dad. She became who she was because of a sex

5:58

tape? Speaker 2: I have no idea. I don't know anything about the

6:00

Kardashians Other than that if you marry into that, watch out

6:04

because it messes you up.

6:06

Speaker 1: Look, kanye was already messed up and he's even worse now. Poor guy.

6:09

Speaker 2: Look at poor Bruce Jenner. We're gonna get hate for

6:12

this and everything, but I mean . Speaker 1: Don't care.

6:14

Speaker 2: Bruce Jenner was you know. Speaker 1: You wanna get real hate.

6:17

Speaker 2: Oh boy. Speaker 1: I'm not a Swifty.

6:20

Speaker 2: Oh no, the podcast is there's your real, mr Powers,

6:24

everybody. Speaker 1: Oh, my God, you're not a Swifty, I don't care.

6:29

Speaker 2: No, no, I don't either. Good for her. I'm happy

6:31

on all the success and everything here in side note.

6:34

This is, in all, what we're gonna talk about. The little side note on Taylor Swift. Here's the thing about Taylor

6:39

Swift, and she's probably lovely . I think she does a lot of real

6:42

good things. People are beyond obsessed with her.

6:46

Speaker 1: That's a problem. Speaker 2: Exactly because they will spend thousands and

6:50

thousands and thousands of dollars on flights, hotel travel

6:55

tickets, the clothes, the outfits, the merch, the this and

6:58

that to go see Taylor Swift in concert and that's like the

7:02

number one thing in their life and everything is involved with

7:06

her and they're just consumed with her and what's happening

7:10

with her, rather than themselves and the things that they're

7:14

doing. And I would almost be led to believe, if there's a large

7:19

percentage of those people, that the opportunity to go see

7:23

Taylor Swift, or Jesus, they're gonna go. Taylor Swift

7:29

absolutely and that's a problem. Speaker 1: That's a big problem, that's another, that's us here,

7:34

in our worldly view, putting someone else as our idol.

7:39

Speaker 2: That's exactly what it is, she is a god to people

7:42

and again she puts out here for her.

7:47

Speaker 1: We're doing all the things, but it's those people who have their priorities mixed up.

7:51

Speaker 2: Yes, and the, the idol, and you know when you read

7:53

the Bible, and Leviticus is the most difficult book to get

7:57

through no, anyone in the one-year Bible plan when they

7:59

get to Leviticus. That's where, though, you one year in the Bible ends, but Leviticus actually even says, hey, no

8:05

idols, no idols, talks about idols, and I mean it could work

8:09

with Taylor Swift, I can work with college football anything

8:11

you want to get rid of that obsession where you have this

8:14

love hate and just Rips your soul apart. There's the idols

8:17

that are, that are setting in right. Speaker 1: Well, look at we. Okay, we're in Alabama, and if

8:21

you're an Alabama fan, most people say it as a joke, but

8:24

honestly it's true. Speaker 2: It's God, nick Saban, everything else pretty much and

8:30

those two are very, very, yeah, and I heard it here, by the way

8:34

. I've just said we're way off topic, but that's okay. Um, when

8:39

it comes to Nick Saban, he was totally wasted on football.

8:43

Speaker 1: He should have been president. Speaker 2: Oh my god. Speaker 1: Can we write him in Saban, for I don't think he'd

8:47

want that job at all. Speaker 2: But the things he accomplishes, in the way that he

8:51

looks at things, the way that he does things, he would be a

8:54

far better candidate than anyone else is out there. And we're

8:57

not getting political one way or another, but the last couple

9:01

elections, and even this one that's coming up, you just kind

9:03

of look at them all and you're like the these are the best we

9:07

could come up with this is what the best America has to offer.

9:10

Speaker 1: This is wonder our country considers us. Everyone

9:13

else in the world to consider our country a joke.

9:16

Speaker 2: I mean, and look at it, what's coming up in the 2024

9:19

election? It's probably gonna be Joe Biden and Donald Trump

9:21

again, and we gotta look at it and you just got to be like

9:25

these are the best two. We got this, this is it in the past

9:29

eight years. Speaker 1: This is the best thing we can come up with to

9:32

we've come up with trying to send people to the moon on

9:35

commercial Jets, and these two guys are the best we can do so

9:40

you got to laugh at all that stuff, because people take that stuff. Yeah, seriously too. Yes, oh, my god.

9:44

Speaker 2: So yeah, I'd write in Nick Saban because way. Absolutely in the way he evaluates people and tries to

9:49

empower people in the discipline that it requires. He was wasted

9:53

on football. I'm thankful for it as an Alabama graduate and

9:55

everything. Thank for it. It's been amazing around, but he was

9:58

wasted on football. He should have been president for forever.

10:01

Speaker 1: Completely agree. Speaker 2: So back to fun. Fun, because politics are gonna drive

10:05

everyone out of here. I'm ten minutes into this thing in there

10:08

thinking oh my gosh, we've hit the Kardashians, we've hit

10:11

Taylor Swift, we've hit football . Speaker 1: We all the clickbait.

10:15

Speaker 2: We've hit politics, we've hit it all. So let's talk

10:18

about fun, because at the end of day, it revolves back to us

10:22

taking ourselves way too seriously. Obviously I don't

10:25

know we don't, because we we like to have fun.

10:27

Speaker 1: But you know, thinking about this because I

10:30

don't know what you have on the schedule, because you're like

10:32

where your nose we want notes I know, okay, sure, I'm sorry that

10:38

the fun part, because I feel like I don't necessarily take

10:44

myself too serious and I have fun in absolutely everything

10:48

that I do I'm not looked at as someone who would be able to

10:55

lead. Oh. Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm.

10:58

Speaker 1: I feel like I have been looked over on so many

11:01

things, but obviously that's not where God wanted me to be.

11:04

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. There's a reason for all that. There's

11:06

absolutely reason for all that. Speaker 1: But maybe that's a reason why people don't or they

11:12

do take themselves so seriously, because they want other people

11:15

to think that they're Good for this or the good for that, like

11:19

they put on a different show for yeah.

11:21

Speaker 2: Well, they, you, you, it's we've talked to. You know

11:23

what, you have, this version of you and that version of you. And

11:26

then there's at home, and there's why for version, and

11:29

then there's, you know, at work version, and at church version,

11:32

and out the grocery store, and there's all these different

11:34

versions of ourselves and you're just authentic to who you are.

11:37

And, yes, you like to laugh, you like to have fun, because why

11:39

in the world would we want to walk around life so just, I

11:43

Don't know, frustrated at everything and just looking down

11:46

on everything and just being being like?

11:50

Speaker 1: E, or that's who it is you're from the Winnie the

11:53

Pooh. Speaker 2: Well, we're just so down and out about everything

11:56

possible and it just can ruin it . And if you bring that into

11:59

your relationship and into your marriage, where you're so

12:02

serious all the time, it's gonna be more like a job and more

12:07

like a workplace relationship than an actual, true

12:11

Relationship. Speaker 1: I don't know. Some people really like their work

12:13

relationships because that turns into other things it does, but

12:16

it doesn't truly bring out, because when they come home

12:19

they're like E or oh, bother well, and that's you know. Talk

12:23

about the. Speaker 2: That relationship is the work relationships to turn

12:26

into more than they actually should. It probably stems a lot

12:29

from the, the at-home relationship and just not

12:33

laughing with each other. Having that see, and it Dramatically

12:36

affects you know how close you are, the intimacy that you have

12:39

with your spouse unless you're Jim and Pam. That's true, jim

12:42

and Pam Work they had fun. They had a lot of fun at work.

12:47

Speaker 1: They had fun outside of work and it works Well so

12:51

they got that, both the At-home in the work man.

12:55

Speaker 2: Only if life could be a little bit more like the

12:57

office. So let me ask you this question because I I don't don't

13:02

see where it'd be beneficial, but when it comes to the

13:05

intimate and the sexual relationship of it all, To me a

13:09

constant serious person ain't sexy All like all the time. Now,

13:14

yes, there can be times where, man, they're serious and it's

13:17

intense and it's like, oh yeah, OK, I see, but when it's always

13:20

that way, you can't joke around and laugh. I mean, come on,

13:24

there's like I thought what you got.

13:29

Speaker 1: You sparked a thought that happened on vacation when

13:32

we were in Florida, to our timeshare. Speaker 2: I know where you're going with this.

13:37

Speaker 1: The. We have a timeshare and our timeshare is

13:39

great. We love our timeshare. But this time they were trying

13:43

to sell us, as they usually know , what they would. We're trying

13:47

to sell, and that's real quick before. Speaker 2: I don't mean to cut you off, but I mean that's kind

13:51

of the point of the timeshare the and you're ours. We get to

13:54

use it multiple times out of the year whenever we want it's,

13:57

it's, it's incredible, the best. But they always, you know you

14:00

have to go do the thing and it's like just part of, it's like all right, I'll take an hour, I'll have breakfast and let them

14:03

try yeah. Tell me on it and they're just trying to get you

14:07

to pay more money to get get more. But this particular time

14:10

went a little further, so go, go ahead and explain.

14:13

Speaker 1: We can be happier with our timeshare. They made me

14:16

a little mad when I lost a couple of weeks, because you

14:19

know, we're not of the bank, but they were trying to get us to

14:23

do something. And if we did this and extended because of COVID,

14:25

blah, blah, blah, and no matter how many times we kept saying no

14:31

, we don't want to extend, we don't want to go into debt any

14:36

further with a timeshare, we're just not going to do it. So the

14:41

guy says, ok, well, let me go get my boss. Oh boy, she's going

14:46

to, I guess, like talk, talk, a certain that we have to sign

14:49

something. She was literally doing everything she could to

14:54

make us want to extend it or something. But when you were

14:57

tell me how much that's going to cost me, well, it's not going

15:01

to cost you anything, it's still going to cost me because you're

15:04

adding that onto the back end and the interest in this and

15:08

this, and you were just Pointing out all of the things that she

15:12

was not going to tell us and all I could do was to just sit

15:17

there and go. That's my man. So those are the times where like,

15:20

actually, works out everything. Speaker 2: She was so mad she wouldn't even tell us. She would

15:24

not even tell us. She was so mad, she wouldn't even tell us.

15:26

Speaker 1: but she would not even look at you Just slammed

15:28

her pin down and walked away. I remember getting up from that

15:31

table and walking in the doors and going Grab. I grabbed your

15:35

hand and held your hand. I was like you, my man. That was hot.

15:40

You're like what you just told him like it was. You were not

15:44

going to back down and I liked every second of it.

15:47

Speaker 2: And there are definitely times for that and

15:49

when it when it could work. But if I were that way all the time

15:52

about everything, I'd be like oh God, here we go. Speaker 1: he's just going to keep saying no, I know I don't,

15:56

I don't get to see that side of you because we don't work

15:58

together. Speaker 2: No, no. So I mean, I like to laugh and have fun and

16:03

enjoy life as well. So, you know , trying to switch that on and

16:07

off and being able to, you know, not always be serious where you

16:11

can just kind of turn the switch off. But you know what

16:13

I'm going to relax, I'm going to smile, I'm going to laugh, I'm

16:17

going to tell a joke, I'm going to goof around with my wife.

16:21

That's, that's so important. And actually I did some research,

16:24

believe it or not, I did. Speaker 1: You did research. Speaker 2: I did research the benefits of smiling and laughing

16:30

and having fun. First off, when I, when I look up biblically

16:34

all of this, someone, 26 even says our mouths are filled with

16:37

laughter and our tongues with songs of joy, filled with

16:40

laughter. You know you got a lot . God's got a sense of humor.

16:44

Speaker 1: I mean, have you seen some people? Have you seen we're made in his image, dear God.

16:48

Speaker 2: Exactly. Just just go hang out at Walmart for an hour

16:51

You'll see all that you need to see but that's the reason why.

16:56

Speaker 1: There's a reason why they made a website. People of Walmart.

16:59

Speaker 2: Exactly Because you see a lot of crazy stuff you

17:01

like OK you cannot believe that's funny stuff right there.

17:05

But the Mayo Clinic did a study and they they short term and

17:09

long term benefits of laughing just laughing. It stimulates

17:13

your organs, your insides, your heart, your lungs. It stimulates

17:16

your organs, it has shown. It relieves stress and it increases

17:20

circulation throughout your body. It also helps improve your

17:25

immune system, simply by laughing.

17:28

Speaker 1: Explains a lot about me. Speaker 2: That's why you've got the heart of a look I don't

17:34

know, but the heart's incredible . I don't know what has great.

17:37

Speaker 1: I know I fall dead from a heart attack. People are like you remember when you said she had the heart of.

17:41

Speaker 2: They were lying. That's exactly what they would

17:44

think. But then also I thought of Jimmy V. Jim Valvano, the NC

17:50

State basketball coach. Espn did the 30 for 30 thing on him. And

17:54

there's the V foundation, which ESPN is a big part of, for

17:58

cancer research. You know he had cancer and he was. He was a

18:02

great speaker and communicator. But one thing he said on his SB

18:06

speech just before he died and they started the foundation. He

18:10

said if you do these three things daily, you'll have a

18:12

fulfilled life. If you think and if you laugh and if you cry

18:16

every single day, it's like that's, that's a great day.

18:20

Speaker 1: Can we skip the crying part? Speaker 2: Well, crying was more of you know, to tears of joy,

18:25

full list and happiness. And I have to agree, if you think and

18:29

you laugh and you cry every single day, man, what a day.

18:33

Yeah, like you've experienced all sorts of different emotions,

18:36

you've just pure joy to be able to to get through. Yeah, I love

18:43

that. If you laugh, you think and you cry every day, it's like

18:46

, man, that's, that's one heck of a day and that's one great

18:49

day to to live. Speaker 1: Right? Well, you know , people probably is. This is

18:54

more of a female thing. And these are, to the hoity twity

19:00

People, the suits. Speaker 2: I guess Sorry, just real quick. Whenever you said

19:05

hoity twity, all I could think about we're not going to say it

19:07

here because we have to bleep it out, but I'll think about a sweet home, alabama, some hoity toy, the Yankee, and all I can

19:14

think about is Bobby Ray in the in the in the bar playing pool.

19:20

Sorry, anyway, it's going to Sorry. Speaker 1: Hoity toy, my mom's all over the place. I love that

19:24

movie. You can watch it with me because I know every single word

19:27

. Speaker 2: Some hoity toy Yankee Beep, Exactly.

19:31

Speaker 1: Anyways, I'm sorry for interrupting, that's just I was trying to think of what Phil Robertson calls all the Women

19:38

that are maybe a little bit more bougie than the other.

19:42

Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, what does he call them? Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: I don't remember.

19:48

Speaker 1: I don't remember at all, but I know exactly what

19:50

you're what you're saying, but that's what you're thinking

19:52

about Type of woman? I guess they were not. They're not gonna

19:57

smile because they've been told you smile too much, you're

20:01

gonna get wrinkles. Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Speaker 1: You know what, when I'm 80 years old, my face can be

20:08

filled with wrinkles, because if I've had a long life of

20:12

laughter and those are laugh lines and wrinkles- Well worth

20:16

it. What am I gonna do at 80? What? Why should I care?

20:21

Speaker 2: Well worth it. Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell everybody what I think about

20:24

them. Anyways, at 80. Speaker 2: I mean, at 80 years old you can say whatever you

20:27

want. I mean, that's the point in your life where you can say

20:30

do whatever you want, no one don't matter anymore. Nope, you

20:33

have no, no feelings towards it. You're like just gonna tell,

20:36

like it is all the time and tell people exactly what I think all

20:38

the time. Oh, 80, that's right. Speaker 1: You know what? Maybe that's why God was like Jesus.

20:43

We're gonna give you the 33. Yeah, to really understand being

20:47

an adult, you gotta live to 30. Speaker 2: Yeah, I could agree with that.

20:50

Speaker 1: You don't need to live three years past that, bro. Speaker 2: His ministry was only three years.

20:54

Speaker 1: I know it makes sense right. Speaker 2: This is all it's gonna take. Okay, this is it.

21:00

It's not gonna take anything else. Speaker 1: After 30 there's another four. You bro.

21:04

Speaker 2: Like you, don't need to get married. Speaker 1: Like you've seen every little bit of it, we've

21:08

seen all these marriages and we're just gonna go ahead and

21:10

say, you know? Speaker 2: Yep. Huh, 33 it is 33 is the magic number. So just

21:20

kind of get back to laughing. And I know that's difficult for

21:23

some people when I think about happiness and joy and, just you

21:27

know, a jubilation for life and being over the top happy. A lot

21:32

of that can come from sports, but a lot of anger can come from

21:36

sports also. Like yesterday I don't want to talk about it.

21:40

I've read talks didn't have a chance. Anyways, I know they had

21:43

a small chance. Speaker 1: I want, I was, I didn't. I had my mustard seed of

21:47

faith, Okay. That's all it takes.

21:50

Speaker 2: I did too, and Jesus was like we were constantly have

21:54

you heard anything yet? Speaker 1: Have you heard anything yet? No, I didn't hear

21:57

anything. Speaker 2: For those who haven't heard we're talking about

21:59

Shohei Otani, the baller of a baseball player.

22:03

Speaker 1: Who killed the internet on Friday? The?

22:05

Speaker 2: richest contract in baseball history, really

22:08

probably in sports history, other than soccer, because

22:10

soccer's got unreal type money to be able to do that for

22:13

international soccer, 10 years, $700 million to the Dodgers who

22:18

are already so good. Speaker 1: Why do they need him?

22:23

Speaker 2: already so good. But good for you, shohei, good for

22:28

you. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: I'm, I'm, I'm a little sad though.

22:31

Speaker 1: Yeah, and Yankees racked up too, yeah. Speaker 2: They traded for one Soto. It's a one year rental.

22:36

Speaker 1: He'll be a free also got for to go. Speaker 2: They have for do go. Had some, had some, had some of

22:41

them shoes. Speaker 1: He had some issues but they still got doogie.

22:45

Speaker 2: They got. They got doogie but one Soto. It's a one year rental. Listen, he'll be a free agent after the end of the

22:50

year. Speaker 1: It's not like the Red Sox are going to step up and do anything.

22:52

Speaker 2: No, it's. It's been so disappointing they they got

22:55

to go get Yamamoto and I'll be done talking about Red Sox, so

22:59

they got to go get Yamamoto. Speaker 1: I mean, hey, we have a local kid that's going to be

23:03

there pitching the Red Sox. Speaker 2: We did get that. Speaker 1: The name Dick Pitts, speaking of laughter, it is, His

23:12

name is Dick Pitts, I mean. I mean it's Richard, but Do you

23:19

think his mom calls him dick? I don't know. Would you stop being

23:22

a dick, come in here. Speaker 2: I mean, what a name you say. It's from Helena.

23:32

Speaker 1: He's from Helena. Speaker 2: Yeah, that's near nearby us.

23:35

Speaker 1: He played at the high school and he went to Auburn.

23:38

Speaker 2: But I've heard great things about him. I know his

23:40

velocity has increased over the last year. I know that he will

23:44

be in the mix for probably spot in the bullpen this season,

23:48

which always use bullpen help? Yeah, I just dick fits. That's

23:53

who we got. Need Yamamoto, you need another pitcher, need

23:57

another outfield bat? We did get the ripest guy in baseball,

23:59

tyler O'Neill, but hey, what are you going to do? So?

24:04

Speaker 1: at least we got an outfielder. Speaker 2: We got an outfielder and we got dick fits. So moving

24:11

on. See, we like to laugh, we like to have fun.

24:14

Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, sorry, it's the joy of laughter.

24:22

Speaker 2: So getting back to laughter and this and that and

24:28

just want to, it can create for a miserable relationship. But

24:33

secondly, it kills sex. We're going to finish off with some

24:38

sex. It kills. It kills the sex side of everything. So how I

24:48

mean? You're like all over.

24:50

Speaker 1: I'm like my 12 year old boy mind just kicked.

24:53

Speaker 2: Yes, sorry. So you know, and when it comes to sex

24:57

and we've talked about this before whenever it's we talk

25:01

about, you know, laughter and being able to have fun and this,

25:03

and that there's a lot of body insecurities that people have

25:09

that won't allow them to kind of giggle and laugh and, you know,

25:13

be joyful in their sexual experience with their spouse.

25:18

Yeah, so how do we combat that? Especially with the body. You

25:23

know, my body's not what it once was. You know, I don't look like I'm 20 years old anymore. I'm a little loose here, a

25:28

little flab here. This is bigger than it used to be. How do we

25:32

get past that? How do we get past that? Because I got

25:34

thoughts on that also. Speaker 1: Turn off the lights.

25:44

Speaker 2: I mean that is one way. It's probably not the right

25:48

way, but yeah, I guess you could just turn out the lights.

25:52

That's perfectly fine. I think it happens in women more than it

25:59

does men. Speaker 1: I guess so.

26:01

Speaker 2: I think that women are probably a little more insecure about their bodies than men are. So I would say, men

26:07

especially. I mean we're conscious about it too, we're

26:12

self-conscious about it a little bit. But I think women it goes

26:15

a little bit further, mostly because cultures told them hey,

26:18

you need to look like this, like you need to have.

26:20

Speaker 1: You got to look like Barbie. Speaker 2: You have a thin waist and you need to have a nice big

26:24

booty and you need to have boobs, and your face needs to

26:26

look like this, and your hair should look like this, and that's what a man's going to find desirable. That's been

26:30

pounded in your heads for so long and it's not true. Nope,

26:34

not true at all. Speaker 1: I mean, look at Sir Mix a lot. He was only after a

26:38

booty, so what?

26:41

Speaker 2: Santa Conda, don't want none unless you got buns on

26:43

. But there's a lot of truth to that and I would say, you know,

26:51

for women, man, embrace it. Yeah , because your man still loves

26:56

it, he still wants it, he still likes it. And man, tell her how

26:58

much you enjoy what she's got to offer.

27:01

Speaker 1: But you have to do that as a wife too. How Like for

27:08

me. Most guys can't stand the fact that they go bald.

27:14

Speaker 2: You're right. Speaker 1: It's a oh my God. I'm not able to do this. I'm losing

27:21

all my hair. I'm sorry. Sorry, but there is nothing sexier than

27:25

what I'm looking at right now, with a bald head and a beard on

27:29

his face. That's just me. Speaker 2: How are you doing?

27:34

Speaker 1: And that's what you like, that's, that's what I like

27:37

. Granted at 19, when you were losing all of your hair.

27:41

Speaker 2: Listen, I was holding on to that hair, for that hair

27:44

was holding on for dear life. I literally. There was nothing

27:47

left up there and I was just. You know, I was thinking it was

27:50

looking OK. Speaker 1: But it was receding far back. There was a big hole

27:54

back here and I just remember coming home from work one day in

28:00

college and I just looked at you and said you got to shave

28:04

your head. Speaker 2: Yes, you did. Speaker 1: And we're like what are you talking about?

28:07

Speaker 2: I have great hair. Like what hair.

28:13

Speaker 1: It's not growing. No it's not coming back. Speaker 2: Listen it's got to go to two years from then, it

28:19

would have been full on. George Costanza, no doubt about it. I'd

28:21

have the doughnut around the outside. That would have been it

28:23

. I like seven hairs up on top. It just wasn't, it wasn't for me

28:27

, it wasn't wasn't a good luck and you, you did not care for

28:30

that and I'm glad that you said, and you really put the foot

28:33

forward, like hey, you got to shave your head. Speaker 1: You got, you got to do. It wasn't. If you don't do

28:37

this, I'm leaving. No, it was a. You're shaving your head.

28:41

Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. Speaker 1: I'm here to help you, but most men are absolutely

28:45

insecure if they're bald.

28:48

Speaker 2: Well, and let's be honest, you know, not everyone's

28:50

got a good head. Luckily, I have a decent that is true.

28:54

Speaker 1: Some of you don't want a lumpy head. Some heads are a little jacked up looking Listen it is what it is. Some

28:59

might be pointy and I mean does any? Do you really want to be a

29:04

bald guy and walk around with a pointy head? Come on, I think

29:06

it's coneheads. Speaker 2: Exactly no you don't. You don't want that, you don't

29:10

want that, but still that is who you are and you got to think

29:13

back. Your spouse fell in love with you for a reason. It wasn't

29:15

the way you looked, but let's be real. Attraction matters.

29:19

That's what first attracts you to somebody. Speaker 1: You didn't have that beard when we first stated. No

29:24

you had a little bit of a. Speaker 2: I had a fuming shoot.

29:28

Speaker 1: I had a few a few hairs on my chin.

29:30

Speaker 2: That's about it. Speaker 1: I just remember the first thing my dad ever said to

29:33

you was boy, you got some dirt on your face.

29:37

Speaker 2: When I'm covered in blood, I mean, what are you

29:39

going to do? Speaker 1: And I was so embarrassed because he said that

29:43

, because you were 16 years old. I know I could grow beard grow

29:47

nothing, but you were trying to have a little bit. Had a little

29:50

bit. Oh, that boy got some hair on his chin, but no, and you had

29:56

a full head of hair. Speaker 2: I did. Speaker 1: I have good hair then you had great hair, we would go

30:00

get highlights and all that stuff we did. Speaker 2: I did. I had frosted tips. You did it was good hair.

30:05

Speaker 1: Come on now. Shell necklace. Oh, your little

30:08

pucachel necklaces that I would make. Speaker 2: Listen, that was the.

30:13

Speaker 1: Oh, it was the look. It was hilarious Some.

30:15

Speaker 2: Abercrombie Fitch some Hollister. Speaker 1: Oh.

30:18

Speaker 2: I'll, and that was a look. But what I'd say is it's

30:22

you don't look like that now. No , but physical. But my God, I've

30:26

aged OK. Speaker 1: Uh-uh, You're fine. Why, baby? It just gets better

30:31

with age. That that's me Like. I'm seeing all this salt and

30:35

pepper in your beard. It's a distinguished man over there.

30:38

Speaker 2: Very distinguished. Speaker 1: But you wouldn't look at me with gray and black hair

30:43

and go oh, that's a distinguished woman, that's hot,

30:46

Would you Listen?

30:54

Speaker 2: I plead the fifth. Speaker 1: There's a reason why I still highlight my hair. I'm

30:58

not gray or anything. No, I even ask every time I'm like Do I

31:01

have some adult blonde? Yet she's like you're good, there is

31:04

nothing up there. And she goes, and if you ever do get there,

31:07

don't worry about it, we'll cover it up Exactly.

31:09

Speaker 2: I mean that's the beauty of hair salons and hair

31:13

dye and all that. But the attractiveness does matter and

31:17

you've got to be I mean, that's how you first approach someone

31:20

is you're, you're attracted to them and you're like, ok, yeah,

31:24

I want, I want some of that and it's important to kind of keep

31:28

that going. I mean, we do grow older and we lose hair and we

31:32

get gray hair and we kind of fluctuate in size.

31:35

Speaker 1: Like when women, after they have a baby, yes it,

31:38

your body is just not the same. Speaker 2: You produced a human being in nine months OK. The

31:43

most miraculous, crazy thing that a human can do you make

31:47

another human in your body crazy .

31:50

Speaker 1: Now some guys just think, god, pregnant women are

31:52

so sexy and I'm like, oh God, I feel bad for her, you know the

31:56

ones with 37 children. Well, there's that, but I was

32:01

miserable, pregnant and I took full advantage of pregnancy. I

32:08

gained 40 pounds of the first with cash when our first you took full.

32:12

Speaker 2: You're like I'm pregnant Three months, I'm getting huge.

32:15

Speaker 1: Three months pregnant , monica, when are you do? Six

32:19

more months early, wait what?

32:22

Speaker 2: exactly, exactly, exactly. Speaker 1: But I was always told , you will never have, you will

32:26

never get your body back. No, you were.

32:29

Speaker 2: Why will I not get my body? Speaker 1: back. Why will I not get my body back? Oh, because it

32:33

does this and does that and I'm like what you? You said the

32:40

right words to me, though you won't get it back. Like, how

32:45

watch this? Speaker 2: Bam. Speaker 1: I put myself in adult beauty contest like pageants.

32:54

Not only did I need in this, was they were six months after I

32:58

had kids. Speaker 2: Six months after. Speaker 1: Six months after I had both kids, I knew I had to

33:05

be in a bathing suit. Oh, you were fully prepared full two

33:09

piece bathing suits in front of strangers and being judged at

33:13

that. I knew that was my motivation. Tell me I can't. I'm

33:18

going to do it and do it better . And just because you and I

33:21

lost 52 pounds. Speaker 2: It's exactly what you did. I mean you went.

33:24

Speaker 1: you went a step beyond, yeah it might have been

33:27

a little bit more much, but yes, I did lose all my weight and

33:30

more. Not that I am a champion, beauty queen or anything but

33:36

that was just that. Speaker 2: Little extra push, little extra motivation.

33:38

Speaker 1: Well, like this summer, I had a hysterectomy. I

33:42

have. I thought we were only going to have like two punctures

33:45

in my abdomen, but turns out there's. They had to go for four

33:50

, yep. And I was a little irritated because I didn't know

33:55

that until I completely came back to reality and oh God, I'm

34:00

not stuck in drug land going Woo , I'm in pain, give me more. So

34:07

once that kind of settled and I looked at my stomach, I said, oh

34:09

God, that's ugly. Matthew's never gonna look at me like that

34:14

. We're never having sex with the light on again. Don't look

34:17

at my stomach To this day. Even Elkie yesterday she was doing

34:21

something and she saw my stomach and she goes oh, mommy. And she

34:25

kept pulling up my shirt and she goes your Frankenbelly's

34:28

looking so good Because of the stitches that I look like I have

34:33

a Frankenstein belly, so I called it the Frankenbelly. I

34:37

did that so I could laugh at it. Speaker 2: Exactly laugh at it and just kind of not make fun,

34:42

but just kind of laugh at the. Hey, this is what it is, and you

34:45

know what? It hasn't affected anything on my end at all and

34:51

it's all perfectly fine, and I think that's one. Say it, tell

34:55

your spouse hey, that's right, but show it too.

34:58

Speaker 1: Yes. Speaker 2: Like I mean you can't go by me with that little

35:01

squeeze on the butt. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Period. Speaker 1: Like we had to. You had to stop doing that because

35:06

Cashman, like when he was five years old.

35:08

Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: He would start doing that Like you would just do a

35:11

little slap. Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Speaker 1: And then this little hand would come by and go slap.

35:15

Speaker 2: Whoa, that can't happen anymore. Speaker 1: Keep your hands to yourself Powers.

35:19

Speaker 2: Because I like it. Now I want to show you like, hey

35:21

, I'm mm-hmm, little squeeze, Little squeeze actually.

35:24

Speaker 1: And now it's when the kids aren't looking. You're like, ooh you.

35:26

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm, and that's okay, because I'm showing you

35:29

like, hey, I'm still all in. Speaker 1: But I do it. The kids never repeated me, I don't know

35:36

why. I guess because guys fart more than girls. I don't know,

35:39

and they just didn't want to touch your butt. So every time I

35:41

walk by you I'm like, ooh, that was a good one. Speaker 2: Maybe that's just because I do it a whole lot more

35:44

than you would. I don't know. Speaker 1: But but you don't. Yours are not seen anymore.

35:50

Speaker 2: No, but that's part of the funny games of a marriage

35:54

is like, hey, you can pop and laugh and ha, ha, ha, and oh,

35:57

that was a good one. I don't know if people do that enough.

35:59

Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, you can walk by me and not do it

36:01

and then go. Speaker 2: Like what's wrong with him? Speaker 1: Why didn't he just touch my butt Exactly?

36:07

Speaker 2: But I think that kind of shows a healthy and fun

36:09

marriage, like, hey, they still still have a lot of fun. So let

36:12

me, let me wrap up with this question, because we do have to

36:15

go, okay, kind of look into where we are now, because, man,

36:18

things are so great and man, everything is like firing on all

36:23

cylinders all the time. It's awesome, and we're 40 years old

36:26

now. Speaker 1: Yes. Speaker 2: And just kind of thinking back over the last 20

36:30

years or so, there was a point in time where you're not sure

36:34

about getting married. Like no, I'm having my fun, I'm liking

36:37

this and I'm getting to do this. Speaker 1: I'm having my cake and I'm eating it.

36:40

Speaker 2: You're getting to do what you want to do and you're getting attention to this and that. So I wanted to ask you,

36:44

you know, if Doc Brown showed up today and he gave you the

36:47

Delorean and said, hey, it's yours for the day, and you want

36:49

to go back and visit 22 year old Monica, who was having a cake

36:52

and eating it too, doing whatever she wanted to do and

36:55

just living what she thought was life. What would you tell her

36:59

about? Hey, this is what it's going to be and this is how

37:02

amazing it is. What would you tell her like? Hey, 22 year old

37:06

you, who thinks everything is great and perfect and awesome,

37:09

what would you tell 22 year old Monica? Speaker 1: Yikes, besides the fact that she's an absolute

37:15

idiot, I don't know that I could go back and change anything or

37:22

would want me to change anything , just because, knowing all the

37:28

things I know now, if I were to go back and tell her to do this

37:35

one, would I have even listened, because it was my way or no way

37:39

? Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: But would it be as great as it is right now?

37:45

Speaker 2: See, and I feel this, I feel the exact same way. We

37:48

put each other through hell. Yeah, and man, we did awful

37:51

things and we were selfish and we were hateful, and boy we

37:54

would, boy, we would go behind each other's back in a heartbeat

37:57

. Speaker 1: But couldn't live without the other. Speaker 2: Couldn't live without each other. And boy, those were

38:01

some looking, you know, during that time. Those times were

38:03

miserable, yeah, and we were both so unhealthy.

38:06

Speaker 1: We love. It was the craziest love hate situation.

38:10

Speaker 2: Totally, but I totally agree. If I could go

38:13

back and change any of it, I wouldn't, because I don't know

38:16

that it would lead us to where we are and that may stand a little stupid and cliche, but in all honesty I would not go back

38:20

and change one thing about it because I know where we are now.

38:26

Yeah, so the second part of that is what, in your eyes, has

38:30

got brought our relationship from where it was then to what

38:33

it is now. Speaker 1: Oh, that's a simple answer, god 100%. Not just a God

38:41

, god of the universe, who sent his only son, jesus Christ,

38:47

little baby Jesus. Speaker 2: Eight pounds, six ounce baby Jesus, newborn infant

38:52

Jesus with his golden diapers. But no, it is once we, because

38:57

we've slowly progressed in the last, you know, the first few,

39:03

you know, years so of our marriage. We were slowly

39:05

progressing towards something. But, man, once we and we knew

39:08

who Jesus was. You know we had that, but we didn't, we didn't

39:12

know everything like we do now and we're not that deep,

39:15

intimate relationship like now.

39:17

Speaker 1: No, and after that boy, it just bam.

39:20

Speaker 2: I felt like everything. Speaker 1: Of course, in high school you don't know all the

39:24

things, but I was the big Jesus follower. I was voted most

39:30

likely to become a pastor. Speaker 2: Yes, you were. Speaker 1: And most school spirit but it I would wear a

39:41

shirt that's had Jesus on it and carry my Bible, all the first

39:45

priority stuff. And I was the Jesus freak. Nobody remembers

39:53

that by me. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And when I, when I left high school and went to

39:58

college, got the attention that I never had before, that that's

40:07

not something I ever expected. I was ready to get married right

40:11

out of high school. And you're like no, I got to go to college,

40:14

I got to get an education. I need to get a good job, and I

40:17

didn't care where I worked, what I did or anything, because I

40:23

just wanted to nail you down. I was like this is, this is the

40:26

guy, I know this is the guy. But then college happened and I got

40:32

just a little bit of attention. Then you want a little bit more

40:34

and a little bit more and you're just you think you're

40:38

having fun because you're getting all the wrong attention.

40:42

You don't know that it's the wrong attention because you've never had this attention before. But in reality it's not the. It

40:51

was just happiness that I was chasing, because I did not have

40:56

joy. I knew what joy was. Speaker 2: And you got that happiness. And boy, oh boy, did

41:00

you get it and get it, and get it and get it. But just as you

41:03

got it, we go away and you need a little more, a little more, a

41:06

little more to push you to edges that probably never intended to

41:10

go, trying to seek that so, but man, it's great now.

41:14

Speaker 1: It is. Speaker 2: It's fantastic, but we got to go. Speaker 1: Okay, it's that time.

41:17

Speaker 2: Basketball, let's go time.

41:20

Speaker 1: Yeah, fun, I have fun with you. I always have fun

41:22

with you. I love you, I love you more. Speaker 2: God, we love you, we're so thankful for what

41:25

you're doing. Just pray over this podcast for all the ears

41:29

that hear it, just to come closer to you, because it is you

41:32

who changes everything and improves everything. If we will

41:35

just submit and give it all to you, the magic that you can work

41:38

within ourselves, relationships cannot be comprehended by us

41:43

and just the the, the trust we have in you. It's fully there,

41:47

god. Just pray that this will reach the people that needs to reach. You're in full control of it and we give you full control

41:52

of it. And just thankful for what you're doing in Jesus name,

41:54

amen.