0:04

the next couple of years . Here's a question for you Is

0:07

marriage overrated ?

0:09

Why aren't people getting married anymore

0:11

? A new Pew .

0:12

Research poll found that two in five young adults think marriage

0:14

is an outdated

0:17

tradition .

0:18

Marriage rates are at their lowest right now . Is

0:20

marriage really even worth it ? More than

0:22

half of marriages end

0:25

in divorce . If you get married , you have to

0:27

be stuck with this person for the rest of your life , right ? That's

0:29

why you get married . So that's why it's declining

0:31

. Why would you get married if you don't , if you

0:33

want to have just one partner when you can have multiple

0:36

?

0:36

Marriage is stupid .

0:39

Welcome to the Married AF podcast , to self-proclaim

0:41

the greatest marriage and relationship

0:43

podcast in the world . We are your

0:45

host , Matthew Monica Powers , back for another episode

0:47

this week , Two weeks in a row . We're on

0:49

fire . How you doing baby .

0:52

No , you have food all in your

0:54

teeth now that I'm looking at you .

0:55

Awesome For

0:57

everyone watching on the interwebs

1:00

.

1:01

Yeah , you should fix that .

1:03

Well , a little too late for that now

1:05

.

1:06

Don't zoom in on those little real thingies

1:08

that you do .

1:09

Listen , I've

1:12

got all sorts of teeth problems in there . Well , listen , we'll just

1:14

do this right here and go . Mm , mm , mm

1:16

, mm mm . Hopefully I

1:18

got it .

1:18

You did .

1:19

All right , hey , this is real life everybody Clear

1:22

in the teeth , taking care of things . Thanks for

1:24

letting me know before we got started . I didn't even look at

1:26

you . I really appreciate that . I'm

1:28

so excited , I'm so excited , I'm so excited , I'm so

1:31

excited , I'm so excited .

1:32

I'm so excited . I'm so excited . I really appreciate that . So , man , well , thanks for everyone who doesn't

1:34

listen .

1:34

I love you too , but , as always , we want to thank everyone who's

1:36

been watching , who has been listening , if

1:39

this has helped you in any way . If you enjoy the show

1:41

, please like it , subscribe to it

1:43

, leave us a review , find us on the socials . All of that

1:45

fun stuff . We really , really appreciate all of that . Now that my teeth are

1:47

good to go , we are good to go . I hope that you like that . You like it . I hope that you like

1:49

it . I hope that you like it . I hope that you like it . I hope

1:51

that you like it . I hope that you like it . I hope that you like it . I hope that

1:53

you like it . We are good to go . I hope

1:56

that you like what I've got for us today

1:58

, because you have no clue what's coming .

2:00

No , I told you to stop telling me .

2:01

I'm not going to tell you anymore , so you don't

2:03

know what it could be . It

2:06

could be a plethora of things

2:08

, but before we really get into it , as

2:10

our new tradition continues , Did you

2:12

do that last time ? Yeah , oh , we

2:14

did John 3.16

2:16

. And it was funny , because

2:19

they're all funny . Today , out of the Gen Z Bible , we're going to be doing a lot

2:21

of fun things . We're going to be doing the Gen Z Bible

2:23

. What is it now ? Is

2:26

it nose hairs ? Do I have a wild

2:28

eyebrow hair that is poking out ? Do

2:31

I have more stuff in my teeth ? Do I have a booger hanging out

2:33

? Do I need to put the nose hairs back up into

2:35

my nose holes ? What is really

2:37

going on ?

2:38

I'm not wearing my glasses so it's hard to see

2:40

all that stuff up close . So I'm questioning if you

2:43

still have food in your teeth . It's why

2:45

I'm . I

2:48

don't know , I don't know I guess , when you

2:50

do those little close-ups , you'll find , you'll find out .

2:52

I guess we'll find out . At least people know we're real , this

2:55

is not fake , this is real life . This is actually

2:57

what happens . We'll be sitting on the couch and we'll just kind of dive

2:59

right in like let me look at that nose , let

3:02

me look at those eyebrows .

3:03

Go get the Q-tips his ears are disgusting .

3:05

Just jump on me like . Just trying to make

3:08

sure I'm but most of the time , it's to no warning

3:10

. Oh yeah , usually you just jump right

3:12

on in there .

3:13

Pluck that nose hair in a heartbeat .

3:14

It hurts so bad it brings tears to my eyes every

3:16

single time . All right , what are you reading too ? But anyway

3:19

, since that church , today we're in Romans chapter

3:21

10 all day long , I figured let's do

3:23

a little Romans chapter 10 action , Cause

3:25

that's fun . So Romans chapter 10 , verse

3:28

one this is Paul , who used

3:30

to be Saul , who used to do nothing but killed

3:33

Christians , had a radical transformation

3:35

. Now his whole point in life

3:37

is to let people know about Jesus

3:39

, and that's exactly what he's talking

3:41

about here Us letting people know about

3:44

Jesus . But this is how Gen Z would

3:46

say it Yo , fam , listen

3:48

up . My heart's straight

3:50

up desire and prayer to God for Israel is

3:53

that they get saved . You feel me , Cause

3:56

I gotta say they got this passion

3:58

for God , but it's like that . They lack the knowledge

4:00

. You know they out here

4:03

, ignorant about God's righteousness and trying to

4:05

establish their own , not submitting to God's righteousness

4:07

. It's a whole mess , man . But check

4:09

this out . Christ is the ultimate deal

4:11

when it comes to righteousness for everyone who believes

4:13

in him . We're gonna move on to kind of where

4:16

we were today , but hold

4:18

up . This is verse 14 . But hold up

4:20

. How can they call on someone

4:22

they don't believe in and how they're

4:24

gonna believe if they've never heard of them . And

4:27

how they're gonna hear without someone preaching

4:29

man ? And how can someone

4:31

preach unless they're sent ? It's like it's

4:34

written yo , those who preach

4:36

the gospel of peace and bring good news

4:38

, their feet be looking fly . I

4:44

love it . Their

4:48

feet be looking fly .

4:50

Yes .

4:54

Listen , we're not gonna stop

4:56

because it's just too funny not to

4:58

continue to read .

4:59

I'm really waiting on the whole New Testament

5:02

.

5:03

Well , that is the New Testament . You read the Old Testament .

5:05

I'm in the Old Testament .

5:05

I'm sorry , oh yes .

5:08

I just read how God created

5:10

the earth .

5:11

Yes , I totally see the new , the Gen

5:13

Z version of the Old Testament , because

5:16

, reading through the one Bible , one of your Bible right now

5:18

, we just got into numbers where

5:20

we're doing nothing but talking numbers and you know

5:22

, this tribe had so many and this had so many and this had

5:24

so many and this had so many . I could totally see

5:26

the Gen Z Bible just being a copy of a spreadsheet

5:29

, just showing hey this is one of this , and

5:32

not fully labeling it just like hey , all this is

5:34

. this is the spreadsheet . You know , you want numbers here .

5:36

I mean , you know , yeah , Maybe not even

5:38

a spreadsheet , maybe a pie chart a pie chart

5:40

.

5:40

Listen very simple Love a good chart Love

5:43

a good pie chart , good line chart .

5:45

Kids do the numbers . Now that they're

5:47

into or before

5:49

they got into fractions and stuff

5:51

like that , they would have the number boxes . You

5:54

have the ones in the tens , it's

5:56

all part of the map .

5:57

I don't want to be that Gen Z would get new

5:59

math for us .

6:02

We would look at it . It would make us

6:04

sense like what is no ?

6:04

idea . It actually would like triple the size of

6:07

the New Testament if

6:09

new math's whole purpose is to see

6:11

how much ways you can get to the answer . Well

6:13

, it's just to say how can we use the entire

6:15

paper to get to the answer that used to

6:17

take us . You know a line and

6:20

that's it so . But talking about numbers , today

6:22

we talking about money , money , money

6:24

, money , money , money we're just

6:26

talking about money . We were just talking about money . We won't

6:28

go into that rant , but we're just

6:30

talking about money . It's a lot

6:32

big home store

6:35

that sells lumber and

6:37

home improvement type stuff .

6:40

That's blue .

6:41

That's blue , not happy with you right

6:43

now , but we're going to talk about money because it's such a stretch

6:45

on the relationship in the mayor , so

6:47

I got some data for you and then we'll just really kind of dive in . So listen

6:50

to all of this . This

6:52

was a study that was done by a large

6:54

financial institution and it found

6:57

that 41% of Gen Xers

6:59

divorced because of money . 29%

7:01

of boomers divorced because

7:04

of money .

7:04

What is Gen X ?

7:06

Gen X is the one before us that

7:08

we identify more with . Oh , most

7:10

definitely . 71% of many

7:12

millennials say that their stress level

7:14

related to financial issues

7:17

have increased over the last 12 months

7:19

when asked what causes them most stress

7:21

in their lives .

7:21

Let me guess he said it's kill . I thought that was so dangerous

7:23

. Yeah , Advertisement Leave Wild . They did not get approved for Biden

7:26

to dismiss their students .

7:31

Yeah , because that's how . That's

7:34

how money works .

7:35

He just you just forget it

7:37

.

7:37

Let's say Joe Biden ain't he ain't Jesus . He ain't

7:39

Jesus , he can't just , he can't just wipe

7:41

the dead away . Only Jesus can wipe the dead

7:43

away completely for the

7:45

debt to be wiped away , someone's going to have to pay

7:47

for it . Jesus is the only one .

7:49

He's already did it . All right , sorry , biden , so

7:51

you ain't Jesus .

7:52

But they said financial matters are

7:55

their top stressor in life . 65 percent

7:58

of women and 52 percent of men said that financial

8:00

matters caused him the most stress . Thirty

8:02

five percent report the issues with personal

8:05

finances have been a distraction and

8:07

half of those has said that it

8:09

distract their personal finances have distracted

8:11

them at work for three to four

8:14

hours per week . That instead

8:16

of working they're thinking about dealing

8:18

with their personal finance stress

8:20

.

8:20

So the place that you're supposed to go to be

8:22

able to earn a little

8:24

to do a good job .

8:26

So you can make money , so perhaps

8:28

you can get bonuses or commissions or something You're

8:30

spending more time Worry about your personal finances

8:32

. People admit the financial worries have impacted

8:34

their health , relationships and productivity . The

8:37

survey also found that 36 percent caused

8:39

the most stress on their relationship . Younger

8:42

adults are most are twice as likely

8:44

as older adults to cite money as the top

8:46

stressor in life . Sixty

8:48

seven percent of all marriages start off in debt

8:50

. 86 percent of couples married

8:52

five years or less are

8:55

also in debt . Thirty three percent of people say

8:57

that they argue with their spouse about money , say

8:59

that they have hid a purchase from their spouse

9:01

because they knew their partner would not approve

9:04

. Last two 94

9:06

percent of respondents who say they have a great

9:08

marriage discuss their money dreams

9:10

with their spouse , compared to only 45 percent

9:12

of respondents who say their marriage is either

9:14

OK or in crisis . People

9:18

are worried about their money .

9:21

Why . Because

9:23

we spend makes the world go

9:25

round .

9:25

We spend more than we make . Well , yeah because

9:28

we're keeping up with the Joneses and we

9:30

never met the Joneses . The Joneses don't come to our house

9:32

for dinner , but we want to keep up with them , so

9:34

look , if anybody comes to our house for dinner

9:37

, they're going to be very Hungry

9:40

. She's talking about . I got a

9:42

giant thing of that for the whole week

9:44

.

9:44

Matthew Powers , that's not for the Joneses .

9:46

I could . I could feed 15 Joneses

9:48

right now if I wanted to .

9:50

Oh , now you're showing off and the Joneses better not show

9:52

up at our door .

9:52

No , because I don't know any Joneses really . I mean , we know

9:55

some Joneses .

9:55

You know some . Joneses , and I like the Joneses

9:57

that we know , but I don't think it's the Joneses

9:59

that people are trying to keep up with .

10:01

Probably not , because these Joneses are pretty laid back

10:03

, pretty normal people . I doubt that

10:05

everyone's trying to keep up with them and do all that

10:07

sort of stuff . So , understanding

10:10

just the financial stress , it has a lot of stress . It

10:12

causes a lot of people a lot of problems . It causes

10:14

more fights . Top reasons

10:16

for divorce is typically money

10:19

related . So why

10:21

is that ?

10:24

I don't know , but

10:26

I did

10:28

understand some of those statistics

10:30

, like the one

10:33

about couples when they first get

10:35

married . What was that one ?

10:36

Oh , that one was that Sixty

10:40

seven percent of all marriages start off in

10:42

debt .

10:43

We did .

10:44

Yes , we did . Oh , absolutely , we're part of that , of course

10:46

. Absolutely .

10:47

We were literally scraping quarters

10:49

for the little guy to come to the house to marry

10:51

us .

10:51

Yes , and he did yeah .

10:53

And I got all those coins and went to the store and poured

10:56

them in that little machine to give me dollar

10:58

bills , so we would not have to pay

11:00

the guy . That's us .

11:02

That's a sad look right there . I

11:05

don't pay , pay somebody in change , but

11:09

financial stress . The reason why I think it's common , as always

11:11

, communication issues . You don't talk

11:13

about it . Yeah , got to talk about it clearly .

11:15

Trust issues .

11:18

You know the stat that showed that it was 40,

11:20

. No , 33 percent of people have hit a purchase from their spouse .

11:24

I know that people . I know people right now that

11:27

are doing that .

11:28

How they have a credit card without

11:31

their spouse on it . Trust issues

11:33

that brings a whole lot of trust .

11:36

They also do not have joint accounts Okay , that

11:39

and that doesn't listen .

11:40

If that's what works for you , but I just don't believe it . Money

11:43

her money .

11:44

So how do you pay the bills they

11:46

? Do not know , okay , I need you

11:49

to open your phone right now . I'm opening

11:51

my phone right now .

11:53

Let me do . You have been move app ?

11:55

I do . It's not on , though . What do you mean ? I don't

11:57

have it .

11:58

I mean , I have the phone .

12:00

I don't have it .

12:01

I mean , I have it because we've done stuff with the stuff

12:03

with it before , but I'd have

12:05

to re-download it , okay .

12:07

No , let me just hand you this one then , all right .

12:09

Just just since .

12:10

I know where my phone is today . All right , let's

12:13

go to home . Now

12:15

, when you open up Venmo on

12:18

the home screen , you can scroll

12:20

through . It's literally social

12:22

media for nosy people . No , Z

12:24

money Social , you know for me , my social

12:26

media is the housing market Correct ? I want to know

12:28

what is inside people's house .

12:30

This is how they decorate , how people spend their money .

12:32

This shows you in your

12:34

contacts . Your contacts automatically come up . It

12:38

will show you who sent who money and it tells

12:40

you what for Like

12:43

. Why do I need to know all this information

12:45

? Let's just let's see here so but

12:48

on here I've also learned

12:50

people send

12:53

like one spouse sends

12:56

another spouse money and

12:58

it will say power bill , water bill . Well

13:00

, that's just crazy .

13:01

Last , night's dinner

13:03

. I'm

13:05

actually , you know , the . The idea for this is a great idea , just

13:08

to be able to . Hey , I'll just slip you this for buying

13:10

. That's an awesome

13:12

idea . But I don't understand why would you send your spouse

13:14

money ? I don't get

13:18

that at all . So

13:20

there's this dumb because anybody that's listening

13:23

and thinking about it .

13:25

If they have my contact info , they're going to go in there

13:27

and see who I've sent money to . Good

13:30

luck , because as soon as I have to pay , somebody

13:32

private private ain't

13:34

your business .

13:36

You're right , it's no one's business .

13:37

And I can't . I don't know that I can control

13:39

if somebody gives me money , I don't know , Maybe

13:42

I haven't Drove

13:45

that far into it yet .

13:46

Well , and that's why you know we're we're big advocates

13:49

for what's mine is yours and yours

13:51

is mine . We have joint accounts . When

13:54

you get married , your money and

13:56

her money becomes Yall's

13:59

money .

13:59

Yeah , now we do have credit cards

14:01

in our names that are not connected or we're not

14:03

on it somehow , but

14:06

as soon as it happens

14:09

, like I , I discovered

14:11

that Ulta had a card a few years ago . I

14:14

was completely against it , but then I realized

14:17

, wait , if I had this card and I'm

14:19

spending all this money and getting all these rewards , if

14:21

I use this card , I'm

14:24

still gonna get the normal rewards , but I'm

14:26

gonna triple it or whatever it is . There's different

14:28

kind of ways . That said , why

14:31

am I throwing away money ?

14:32

Well , credit cards can be a great asset

14:34

if you use in the right way , exactly if you make the purchase

14:36

, you get the points , you get the money

14:39

back , you get the rewards and you pay it off every single month

14:41

. You're never paying interest . That that's . That's

14:43

the way you need to use them .

14:44

That's the best way to use them . I was mad

14:46

at myself for all that time saying

14:49

, no , I don't need a credit card . Now

14:51

I am just reaping all kinds of benefits

14:53

, but You're not on my Ulta card

14:56

.

14:56

No , I have no business being on your Ulta card and

14:58

I don't need to do hair product and everything but , that's

15:01

not it . But you know that that

15:03

causes the trust issues .

15:04

Why would you not be on the same account ? That's what I'm saying

15:07

. I really know women that

15:09

have gone out on

15:11

a limb thinking , oh , I'm gonna get this credit card

15:14

, I'm gonna get all this stuff . Their

15:16

husbands do not know they

15:18

have this card . Yeah , that's period

15:20

.

15:21

That can be a bad and that that would cause

15:24

the trust issues which are gonna spill into other other

15:26

areas of the life .

15:26

But I've also known them to say I can't

15:29

do this

15:31

thing until I get this

15:33

paid off , because

15:35

my husband's gonna want to know where I got the money

15:37

to do that thing .

15:38

Listen . If you're in that boat right now , just come clean

15:40

, like today , just say hey , straight

15:42

up , baby , listen , I messed up , I

15:44

did that , that's gonna be way , but your stress level is gonna

15:47

go so much further down than trying to hide

15:49

that all the time . Go ahead , go

15:51

ahead and do it now , talk about it right now . And

15:53

that just comes again . Another one priorities

15:56

are kind of messed up . You know . Your priorities are not

15:58

in order where they need to be , which just again

16:00

causes more stress and everything in

16:02

the life . And if you look at the way Jesus

16:04

designed all of this , you know he says

16:06

no one can serve two masters . You will

16:09

hate one and love the other , meaning

16:11

you can't love money and

16:13

God . You can't love money and your spouse

16:15

, you can't love money and your kids , because

16:18

we're gonna prioritize money over everything else . Not

16:20

saying money's bad , but

16:22

when we treat money as money

16:25

the end , all be all instead of a resource

16:27

, then it becomes

16:30

an idol in our life and that's that's what causes

16:32

the problems . Absolutely so you get this financial

16:34

stress and it becomes

16:36

Stressful on your

16:39

relationship , becomes stressful on on

16:41

you and your mental health and just just all of

16:43

it . You need to be able to talk that out like who

16:45

who's the big spender ? You

16:47

know who's the big spender in your relationship

16:49

? Yeah , I , I'd agree , you are . Who's

16:51

the frugal , cheap one in the relationship you

16:54

are also .

16:56

Because how many times do you go to the store and I get so

16:59

irritated ? You know exactly what

17:01

you're going in there for and you get it . Not

17:03

once do you look at anything else

17:05

that's possibly on sale . Matthew

17:07

Powers , why did you buy that ? I

17:09

saw the sales paper the same exact

17:12

thing , but a different brand , was buy one , get one

17:14

free . What is wrong with you ?

17:16

Because I go into a place I

17:19

know what I need , know what I want

17:21

you look nowhere else . I know exactly . Just I'm

17:23

gonna go get it leave and that's it and

17:25

that that's . That's how it works . But having those conversations

17:28

, understanding who spends , who's cheap , who's

17:30

frugal , what's your idea of

17:33

savings looks like , what's your idea of financial

17:35

freedom looks like , what's your thoughts on

17:37

on retirement and kids and vacations

17:39

and how you're going to spend , understanding all that

17:42

, and then , when you are in these financial struggles , you can

17:44

work through these things together .

17:46

Yes , but you can't bring up those horrible

17:48

mistakes that your spouse

17:50

might have made . No , you most certainly cannot

17:52

in trying to fight what we can't do . This because

17:55

you did that . Yeah , no , it's just we're gonna work

17:57

through this , because we have to get

17:59

rid of this .

18:00

Why is because you are a team and

18:02

god , from the very beginning , husband , wife

18:05

, to become one , even when it comes to your money

18:07

. If one of you screwed up , guess what you both

18:09

essentially screwed up , and you work through

18:11

this together .

18:12

Well , the first thing you both need to do

18:14

. I mean , obviously we all broke

18:16

in some which possible financial

18:18

way , but you need to find out

18:20

what the problem is

18:23

. What , what's your shopping issue ? Yes

18:25

, what , what ? How do you want to be rich

18:27

? Yes , what is ? What does rich

18:29

look like for you ? For some people We've talked about this

18:32

before it's owning a house , having

18:34

that really awesome car . For

18:36

us , we are very

18:38

trip people .

18:40

You want to go places and make those memories

18:42

. We're experienced people over stuff . Yes

18:44

, I mean , we have the things that we need , but we don't

18:46

have Extravagant now

18:49

, that's not true .

18:51

Don't look at me like that . To

18:54

us , we do not have extravagant things

18:56

. No , how many people have two

18:58

screens over there on their desk

19:00

at home With a

19:02

macbook in front of them ?

19:04

No , that is , that is okay powers

19:06

.

19:06

We got three cameras looking at us right now .

19:09

That is true .

19:10

I have a massive mac , whatever

19:13

thing . This is the iPad that's

19:15

sitting over here , my MacBook and my

19:17

other laptop under my desk right now

19:19

, and this , whatever iPhone

19:21

number it is . Yeah , we have

19:23

excessive to some people . But

19:26

all of it has a purpose exactly

19:28

all of it's used for a reason you even have a device

19:31

that hooks to your laptop to have Two other

19:33

strings it is glorious

19:36

.

19:37

It makes . It makes working . I understand

19:39

so much .

19:39

So what we might think is Extravagant

19:42

or not extravagant to us

19:44

might be over-the-top extravagant

19:46

to somebody else . And these are especially to those

19:48

that do not have it .

19:50

These are just conversations that you must have understanding

19:53

kind of where you both are and if you

19:55

are far apart from each other , find

19:57

, find a middle ground somewhere . You're gonna have to

20:00

give in some area to be able to get in

20:02

another . You just arts , it's the way it's

20:04

gonna be . But a lot of us will think , well , if I just

20:06

had more money .

20:07

That's all I need . Well listen money .

20:09

I just need more money . If I could just make

20:11

fifty thousand dollars a year , then everything's gonna be good . And then

20:13

you make fifty thousand , it's off . I can make seventy five

20:15

thousand , everything will be good .

20:17

If I can make a hundred thousand , then everything and

20:19

just goes up and up and up and up and up well

20:21

, we were stupid in the situation

20:23

that we put ourselves in and

20:25

we said well , at

20:27

first we were hardcore , no against

20:30

children very and

20:33

we said , okay , fine , let's maybe . Maybe

20:35

we do want to have kids or a kid

20:37

or Something . You

20:39

, we don't know , started with the dog . We're

20:42

like , okay , we can handle this , maybe

20:45

we could have a kid . But

20:47

we decided when

20:51

we were gonna have a kid was

20:53

when we made a dollar amount , when

20:56

we made you're right together Collectively

20:59

, when we made eighty five thousand

21:01

dollars a year , we

21:04

were gonna have a kid .

21:05

Yeah , I don't work .

21:06

Why did we not think about after

21:09

that ? Because

21:11

, because twenty . Not

21:13

even our kid was not even Well

21:15

, he was a little over a year old . When we're

21:17

like , yeah , this is easy , let's have another

21:19

one . Okay , we're still making that money

21:21

, but he cost a lot , yes

21:24

, we didn't take that into factor . And then when

21:26

the second one came around , oh my god , we

21:28

got to put them both in daycare . That's stupid

21:31

, way too expensive . I'll quit

21:33

my job .

21:34

Yeah , it's um .

21:36

So you think , you think , you know but

21:38

you're wrong under you don't think

21:40

long-term .

21:41

No . And when you think , just as a number

21:44

amount , it's never gonna be enough , no

21:46

, it's .

21:47

It's never going to be enough , it's

21:49

just not well with us

21:51

after we had our two children and I did

21:53

not go back to work . I did

21:56

not Mentally

21:59

comprehend . I can't keep spending the money

22:01

that I was spending . I don't have

22:03

a job anymore . Wait

22:05

a minute , what is happening ? We don't have any money

22:07

. Don't use the debit card

22:09

. Oh my god , don't use the debit card

22:11

. If you use the debit card , we're not gonna

22:14

have any money . It's gonna go negative because I'm

22:17

not making any money anymore . And it took me at

22:19

least six months to realize , hey , you can't

22:21

spend that Same

22:23

way .

22:24

Well , and here's the thing . So you , you've

22:26

kind of identified the stress , you've talked about

22:28

the stress , you create a plan , you

22:30

understand it , but and I know this is gonna sound

22:32

crazy but how do you

22:34

really overcome the financial strain ? And

22:37

people who , who haven't experienced this

22:39

, are gonna say , well , you're stupid , like

22:41

I'm never listening to these morons again , because this is

22:43

dumb If you give it to the Lord

22:45

mm-hmm .

22:47

He will always provide now you're not gonna have extra need

22:50

.

22:50

He's gonna provide what you need . That's why you know Matthew

22:52

633 seek the kingdom of God

22:54

above all else , and he'll provide everything you need

22:56

. Not everything you want , but everything you need . And if we

22:58

, if we can figure that out and get that right , everything

23:01

else will fall into place . But when

23:03

it comes to where you are with your money

23:06

and how can you overcome this financial hardship

23:08

, one give it to the Lord . Tithe

23:11

. Now , I know this sounds crazy , like

23:13

I'm already in a money strain . I

23:16

already don't have enough . When we need to prioritize

23:18

things correctly , begin just

23:20

with tithing , just wherever

23:22

you begin giving your money away

23:24

, because that's when , that's

23:26

when things start start changing what

23:28

I let go of that really tight hold

23:30

of your wallet .

23:32

God , you can have all my

23:34

sins , you can have all my

23:36

soul . Okay

23:38

, I might give you my marriage , but I'm not letting go of that money

23:40

because I worked hard on that .

23:42

I'm keeping it and that's not giving that's

23:44

not giving everything .

23:45

That's not everything . That's not all else .

23:47

You know it's , it's , it's , you

23:50

know the , the principle of reaping

23:52

what you sow . Mm-hmm , I . And where

23:54

are you putting your ? Because your money has to go somewhere

23:57

. Where are you putting it ? And the Lord

23:59

will . He's the provider of all things , he's

24:01

going to make all things happen and

24:04

, again , he'll provide all you need . When we went through that

24:06

, when we went through the financial struggles , man

24:08

, we , we never , we , we tithe

24:10

. We we continue to give . Even

24:12

when we had cents in the bank out , we

24:14

continue to give . Boy , could that money have gone somewhere else

24:16

? To help out , absolutely . But he , he provides

24:19

and provides it . And provides it when

24:21

you can be trusted with the little things , you can be trusted

24:23

with the large things , and whenever he sees

24:25

that it doesn't make sense , it's not supposed

24:27

to make sense . That's why it's called faith . It's not going to , it's

24:29

not going to make sense on paper , but he will

24:31

always provide .

24:33

It never , ever , made sense on paper

24:35

for us , no matter how many times I

24:37

balance the checkbook . Okay , well , you're getting

24:39

paid this amount this week . That

24:41

only covers one or two things

24:43

for the next week . I don't know how

24:46

. How are we going to feed our children

24:48

?

24:49

Exactly .

24:49

Okay , we could feed them , but we can't eat .

24:53

Well , we can feed them , but we can only eat this

24:55

very little Right , this mess .

24:58

But I know it sounds so

25:00

easy to say

25:02

, coming from people who were literally

25:04

having this podcast in

25:06

their house with all of the screens and all the technology

25:09

that I just listed , saying

25:12

all you need , yeah

25:15

, but you asked

25:17

the question what we went through

25:19

all of that . What was the thing ? What

25:21

was ? How did we know we

25:24

need what we need

25:26

, like how did how did we get okay with it ? Well

25:28

, we

25:31

also , you know , we continued to tithe

25:33

when I say we got what

25:35

we needed . Our

25:38

bills were paid , we had food

25:40

, we had each other , we

25:42

still had our house and we still had the clothes

25:44

that we had . We did not need

25:46

any of this .

25:50

Goes back to the idea that all you have is

25:52

all you need .

25:54

But what really made me understand

25:57

? We have everything

25:59

that we need because we continue

26:02

to want . We are only human . We always want

26:04

what we can't have .

26:05

We're born selfish . We're born want

26:07

, want , want , want , want .

26:08

It's a heart issue when you continue

26:10

to want and want and want and want . But

26:12

the one thing that I never understood

26:15

growing up , my dad always

26:17

told me to in

26:20

one hand crap in one hand

26:22

and want in the other one See

26:25

which one fills up first . I

26:28

never understood that as a kid . Ever

26:31

, ever , ever .

26:32

But now .

26:32

Until I had kids . I

26:35

can continue to want all those things , but that

26:37

doesn't mean I need it .

26:38

You're exactly right .

26:39

You have to understand the difference between

26:41

a want and a need . And when

26:43

you figure that out and you know that you

26:45

have everything that you need and

26:48

you're doing the work that God wants

26:50

you to do , you're fulfilling his will

26:52

and doing all the right

26:54

things , he is gonna provide everything

26:56

that you need , plus more .

26:58

Plus more . Why so you can- ?

27:00

There is no reason we should have any of this stuff we're

27:02

looking at right now .

27:02

He's gonna provide everything you need and

27:04

more . Why ? So you can take that more and you

27:07

can use it for others , not for

27:09

your own self , not for the things that you necessarily

27:11

want . But when you understand that principle

27:14

of sowing and reaping over and over

27:16

and again , you'll be able

27:18

to . He's gonna give you more and more

27:20

and more and more . But your job with

27:22

that more is to continue to open

27:24

your hands , to be able to give more and be able to help

27:26

more . It's what we're here to do is to serve and to help

27:28

other people . So how do you get out of

27:30

the financial struggle ? You talk about it , you make

27:33

a plan , you stick to the plan , you

27:35

work together as a team . You gotta give it to

27:37

the Lord . Don't be stupid

27:39

.

27:39

Don't do the things that you shouldn't

27:42

do behind the other's back . That

27:44

got you in that situation the first place

27:46

and that's also gonna cause more trust

27:48

issues with your spouse , so

27:50

don't do anything stupid .

27:52

Well , in other words , and also , don't

27:56

fall into a trap of like a get rich

27:58

quick type of thing . Don't

28:00

fall into a thing . Well listen , I can- .

28:02

The pyramid scheme .

28:04

I can loan myself out of this hole

28:06

. I can go get this loan , or I can get

28:08

another credit card . I can transfer the

28:10

debt and I can do this , or I can start

28:12

selling this , or I can do this instead . Or

28:15

, and the biggest thing , don't do anything that's gonna jeopardize

28:17

your relationship . Don't do anything that's gonna jeopardize

28:19

yourself . People

28:22

are turning to things such as OnlyFans

28:24

.

28:24

Oh my God , listen , I

28:27

feel like Charles Barkley in

28:29

this situation .

28:30

Yes .

28:31

Because I didn't know what OnlyFans was until

28:33

I started working at high

28:35

school .

28:36

And it is a industry Hide

28:38

your feet , they're gonna take pictures

28:40

of your feet and sell them .

28:42

Why are people taking pictures of my feet and selling

28:44

them ?

28:45

Here's the thing OnlyFans and

28:47

selling feet pictures are like two

28:49

big things that women mostly are

28:51

doing and they're earning a ton of money

28:54

with it . Don't fall into that trap

28:56

. Well , so , and so it's making $100,000 a month

28:59

selling their feet and doing that . It's a terrible

29:01

, terrible idea .

29:01

You know they do it more than just selling their feet .

29:03

But listen to this users spent

29:05

five billion billion

29:07

, with a B dollars in 2022

29:10

on OnlyFans . Five

29:14

billion dollars

29:16

. The highest earner made $9.6

29:20

million last year . And what it

29:22

is ? People are signing up to worship you because

29:24

now you worship you , you've created

29:26

your own idol , where you put

29:28

yourself up on that pedestal , made it all

29:30

about you and man , you may be reaping the rewards

29:32

and reaping the benefits right now . It ain't

29:34

gonna last . It's gonna put you in a deeper , darker

29:37

hole than you could ever even imagine .

29:38

I'm gonna ask a stupid question . I'll

29:40

have a stupid , stupid answer and I don't need

29:42

you to cut me off like Shaq .

29:44

Okay .

29:46

I need you to tell me what

29:49

people are . I've heard about the feet

29:51

, and when I heard

29:53

about that , I was definitely not

29:55

going on that website .

29:57

No .

29:58

I don't even wanna know what other feed would pop

30:00

up .

30:01

No , you gotta be really really careful .

30:02

Right . So what

30:05

are people actually selling

30:09

on that ? Only

30:12

fans .

30:12

Only fans . I did not dive that

30:14

far because I also did not wanna get

30:16

into what's this my

30:19

source came from . I think it was Forbes

30:21

or Fortune , A reputable business

30:24

site . I don't want to dive

30:26

down that hole .

30:28

So if I go Google what

30:31

is OnlyFans , Obviously the website's

30:34

gonna be the first thing that comes up .

30:35

Correct .

30:36

But is there gonna be some kind of Wikipedia thing underneath it and tells

30:38

me what it is ?

30:39

Possibly again , you want me to do it . Oh

30:41

boy , let's see what we got here . Oh God

30:43

, your

30:45

search history is your algorithm

30:48

is gonna be all kinds of messed up . You're gonna see

30:50

all sorts of weird stuff .

30:51

I'm gonna clear my history after this .

30:52

Yeah , it's gonna be a must . You

30:54

know our phones are listening right now . Oh , all

30:58

right . So what do you ? I don't wanna see . Just tell me what

31:00

you got .

31:00

Okay , the Wikipedia thing was actually the first thing to

31:02

pop up . Oh , beautiful .

31:03

okay , Well , we know Wikipedia is always true

31:05

, but it is fairly true . Well , duh . So what

31:07

does it say ?

31:12

It's based in London , England .

31:13

Okay .

31:17

I don't wanna click on the thing .

31:20

Don't you better be careful ? It's gonna get you down a rabbit

31:22

hole . You don't wanna go .

31:23

Okay , well , here's questions people have asked Okay

31:26

, what do people

31:28

do on OnlyFans ?

31:32

Okay , what

31:35

is it your face ? You

31:37

gotta use your words here .

31:40

Since OnlyFans lets people

31:42

post content that

31:44

would get them banned from other social

31:46

media sites like Facebook and Instagram

31:49

. It's also

31:51

widely used by sex workers

31:54

and amateur pornographers , who

31:58

uploaded videos and images who

32:00

interact with their fans using

32:03

direct messages . Selling

32:05

feet ain't getting you billions of dollars

32:07

. You are having to direct

32:10

message people .

32:11

You're you're

32:14

sexting . It's live action

32:16

prostitution , basically

32:18

.

32:18

And people are paying for that . Yes , I

32:21

mean , I knew that they already paid for things of that nature

32:23

.

32:23

Because we've seen the news stories of the mom who

32:25

has , like her , onlyfans stuff plastered on

32:28

the back of her vehicle .

32:29

And car rider line .

32:29

Put it in a car rider line and stuff like that .

32:31

So yeah , I didn't know it was that .

32:34

They're clearly going down a deep

32:36

, deep , nasty path

32:38

to try and get

32:40

out of a hole , to try and make this

32:42

, ain't it y'all ? This is not the way

32:44

to do it .

32:46

The next question that is explaining

32:49

what this thing is , is why would

32:51

someone use OnlyFans To

32:56

so sad ? What

32:58

is it A majority of OnlyFans subscribers

33:00

? A

33:03

majority of OnlyFans subscribers

33:05

are not lonely single

33:08

men . Not only

33:10

lonely okay , but

33:13

married ones . That's

33:15

, that's the New studies suggest

33:17

.

33:17

That's a heartbreaker . Men Spent

33:21

time with her wife instead .

33:24

Another reason why men subscribers subscribe

33:26

to OnlyFans is that they want

33:29

to support their favorite creators . So

33:32

I guess the people that they get to talk to with

33:34

these messages are considered creators .

33:37

Sure .

33:39

Men from all walks of life subscribe to

33:41

OnlyFans and there are many

33:43

different reasons why they don't do

33:45

. They do it Okay

33:47

here . This is what kind of content

33:49

is OnlyFans ? Onlyfans

33:52

is a subscription based platform

33:54

, so

33:56

they get extra . Okay , where

33:59

content creators can charge their

34:01

fans a fee to access

34:03

their exclusive content

34:06

, which can include photos

34:08

, videos and other forms of media

34:10

.

34:13

All right , so we learned a lot today . Huh , that's

34:16

at the end of the day . It's really really sad

34:18

, especially the stat you gave , that a

34:21

percentage are married men , like guys

34:23

. What are you doing ?

34:24

Not only lonely single men , but

34:26

married ones too . What are you doing

34:29

?

34:30

You're wrecking your marriage . If

34:33

you have kids , you're wrecking your kids . Just

34:35

think about the consequences and

34:37

what's gonna come from this . It's

34:42

terrible , terrible , terrible news .

34:44

Oh my goodness . As

34:46

of February 19th , 2024

34:48

. Starting

34:51

October 1st , OnlyFans

34:54

no longer permits sexual

34:57

explicit content on

34:59

its service .

35:01

Okay .

35:02

This policy change reflects the platform's

35:04

effort to comply with regulatory requirements

35:07

and to ensure the safety and wellbeing

35:09

of other users .

35:13

I'm sure people are trying to work around that though .

35:16

Yeah , they direct message each other . Let's email instead

35:18

.

35:19

So , if you're in a financial situation , promise you this is not the

35:21

way to go .

35:22

OnlyFans is not where you need to go , don't sell feet

35:24

pictures , don't sell your feet pictures

35:26

. If you're okay

35:28

with selling feet pictures , you're

35:30

okay with selling pictures of other things , yeah , and then you get down that dirty

35:33

rabbit hole and you're never coming back from it .

35:35

No , you're not and it's not healthy Because

35:37

money is now what you idolize . Money

35:41

has become your idol , and Leviticus

35:43

tells us there should be no idols above the Lord . If you don't get anything

35:45

out of Leviticus , which

35:47

may be the most ? Painful book to read

35:49

in the Bible , because it's nothing but law . That's

35:52

the one that always sticks out . That's why Jesus came back

35:54

.

35:54

That's exactly why he came back .

35:55

So that's not the answer for your financial problems . Again

36:00

, if you're struggling with that , the

36:03

only fancy thing , man Ben , come on , what are we doing ?

36:05

Listen one of these questions how

36:08

to make $10,000 a month on OnlyFan . Here

36:12

are the top ways OnlyFan

36:15

stars earn $10,000 or more per month

36:18

subscriptions the most common way

36:20

placing content

36:22

behind a paywall .

36:25

So you can only go off . People pay . Wow

36:29

, well , just like anything

36:31

else , that's this corrupt

36:33

, this is Sodom and Gomorrah all

36:36

over again . It will fall

36:38

and it will not last . So

36:40

, lastly , just to kind of wrap this up , you

36:43

know , if you're facing those financial

36:45

struggles one we know , yeah , to clear

36:47

that history , don't go to OnlyFans , don't

36:49

sell your pictures of your feet , don't do anything stupid

36:52

, don't do anything to jeopardize it . You can

36:54

make it out of it . You most certainly can make

36:56

it out of it . We most certainly did . We're living proof that

36:58

that happened , absolutely . But just be able to discuss

37:00

it . If you've had that purchase

37:03

from your spouse , tell them now , like tell

37:05

them today , whenever you listen to this

37:07

. Hey , I need to talk to you about this it will

37:09

be much , much better than

37:11

what you think it could possibly be

37:13

. If

37:16

you're faithful and what we've learned is if

37:18

you're faithful in the little things , you'll be faithful in the

37:20

large things .

37:21

Amen .

37:22

If you're faithful in the small stuff , you'll be faithful with the

37:24

big ones . And we've seen that we're

37:26

faithful with the little . And it's just

37:28

he provides more and more and more and

37:30

you have to be faithful with it to continue to

37:32

give it out . And I always and I know you use this illustration

37:35

all the time that you're probably sick of hearing of

37:37

it but when Jesus fed the 5,000 , it's

37:40

my favorite kind of idea

37:42

and illustration of how

37:45

the Lord multiplies when his disciples

37:47

, the disciples said hey , jesus

37:49

, we gotta go . There's too many

37:51

people here , they need to go home

37:53

, they need to eat dinner . We can't provide . And

37:55

Jesus like no , you can . And five loaves

37:58

and two fish , that's what it was Five

38:00

pieces of bread , two fish . We're

38:02

able to feed 5,000 people

38:04

. And it shows that when

38:07

you give it to the Lord , he will bless it and then he will

38:09

multiply it , and he can't bless

38:12

and multiply what you don't give

38:14

him .

38:14

Absolutely agree . I feel like we have a

38:17

very similar

38:19

story . Like our personal

38:23

, loaves and fish

38:25

are

38:28

very first time giving our church's

38:30

big gift , our cultivates big gift . We

38:33

were , uh , we

38:35

can't do this .

38:37

We can't afford it .

38:38

I think it was $250 . And

38:41

that was everything .

38:42

Might have a little bit $25,000 .

38:44

Yes , that was everything

38:46

. It cleared out the account . And

38:50

the only reason we did it ? Because

38:53

Brandon Doss straight up

38:55

said I guarantee

38:58

you it will come back to you

39:00

or we will give you your money

39:02

back . I said that's a money back guarantee I

39:04

will take , brother 90 day money

39:06

back guarantee . He did say he did say 90 days 90

39:08

days and what happened ? Not even six days later , I

39:11

get an email from PayPal saying

39:14

that we overpaid this

39:17

amount of interest

39:19

and fees or whatever

39:21

on a one of the

39:23

PayPal accounts $1,200

39:27

. It came back what

39:30

I was mad

39:32

but excited at the same time . Yeah

39:34

well that , just Because we got more money than we gave

39:36

, but that and that just showed . That was all

39:38

the proof . We needed .

39:39

That was Luke 1610 , just coming

39:41

right back saying , hey , you trusted me

39:43

with the little , which to you is a lot

39:46

, I got you . Yep , I'm

39:48

gonna cover you .

39:49

Every single time , and that's what he does .

39:51

The money is such a huge

39:54

part of our lives . It's a huge stress in our

39:56

lives , but if we will just treat

39:59

it as a resource , treat

40:01

it as a way to get something

40:03

else , a way to be able to give , a

40:05

way to be able to provide and serve other people , it'll

40:09

always be there .

40:10

I agree .

40:10

It'll always be there . So make sure you clear your

40:12

search history . But we gotta go .

40:14

I don't remember how to do that .

40:16

Yes , let's get out of here . God

40:18

, we love you so much and for what you're doing

40:20

. We definitely don't deserve it , but

40:23

here you are , this is yours , and we're

40:25

just thankful for what you're doing . With this , god

40:28

, just let it reach the people it needs to Lay

40:30

right where it needs to be for certain people . You

40:32

know what everyone's going through . You know who needs to

40:34

hear and what they need to hear . God , I

40:36

just pray that it reaches them . For

40:38

everything we talked about today , god , it's yours

40:40

. And just those who are struggling with

40:43

money , those who are struggling with the stress and

40:45

the anxiety over it all , god , I

40:47

just pray that they'll give it to you . Those who are struggling

40:49

with addiction to things like

40:51

only fans , things like pornography God , I just

40:54

pray that they will release that to you

40:56

, that our marriages , our relationships , our

40:58

families will be better without that and

41:00

more of you , god , we need more Jesus and

41:02

we're just thankful that you love us In Jesus' name

41:04

, amen .

41:05

Amen polabo .