0:06

Here's a question for you Is marriage overrated

0:09

?

0:09

Why aren't people getting married anymore

0:11

? A new Pew Research poll found

0:13

that two in five young adults think marriage

0:15

is an outdated tradition . Marriage

0:18

rates are at their lowest right now . Is marriage

0:20

really even worth it ? More

0:23

than half of marriages end

0:25

in divorce . If you get married , you have to

0:27

be stuck with this person for the rest of your life , right ? That's

0:29

why you get married , so that's why it's declining

0:31

. Why would you get married if you don't , if you

0:33

want to have just one partner when you can have multiple

0:36

?

0:36

marriage is stupid .

0:39

Welcome to the married podcast , the self proclaimed

0:41

greatest marriage and relationship podcast on

0:43

the planet . One day

0:45

we're going to actually climb , but we are here . We are

0:48

back after two weeks of not being here

0:50

because we went on an amazing little adventure

0:52

and trip , but we are back

0:54

. We're your host , matthew Monica Powers

0:56

, and we just want to say thank you for all of those

0:59

who listen , who watch , who subscribe , who download

1:01

, who like , who review , who do all

1:03

of those fun things that help this show

1:06

continue to grow and continue to do things .

1:08

People are still listening .

1:09

People are still listening , Believe it or not . They

1:12

have not tuned out . More people

1:14

are listening than I ever thought actually would

1:16

. Okay , which is kind of cool .

1:18

That is cool .

1:19

But we are back , and you know when this

1:21

episode releases , it's

1:23

a huge day .

1:24

It's not that

1:27

huge .

1:27

It is a huge day for

1:30

us .

1:31

Us .

1:31

Yes , because it is going to

1:33

be your 40th

1:35

birthday . Turn

1:38

into the big four . Oh , how does it feel just days away

1:40

from the big four ?

1:41

Oh , over the hill and 40s

1:43

, 40s over the 40s over the hill .

1:46

It's better to be over the hill than under the hill

1:48

. Isn't that what they say ?

1:50

I don't know who they are , but I'm

1:52

going to say 40 .

1:53

40 is the new like 28

1:55

, because you still pass for 28 or so .

1:57

I'll take it .

1:58

I mean , so you're looking good . Doing

2:01

something right , you're like a fine wine

2:03

, just get better and better with age

2:06

.

2:06

I've been told by some girls at school that

2:09

my wife don't crack

2:11

.

2:12

The white don't crack .

2:13

My wife , your wife don't crack my white .

2:15

Don't crack , I mean , I don't have to . I can't disagree with them

2:17

at all . I don't know how politically

2:20

correct that may be , but you know , they tell you so

2:22

.

2:22

That comes from teenagers , you

2:24

know , they know something .

2:26

They're all on the up and up on all the new phrases

2:28

, on this slang , all the stuff . So I mean

2:31

, why not ? But

2:33

it feels good to be back , but it was awesome going

2:35

away , as we are back from Los Angeles .

2:38

Yes , now is the , it's the

2:40

absolute appropriate time for

2:42

you to say we're back , because we are actually

2:44

back .

2:44

We did . We took two weeks off . We are officially

2:47

back with a new episode

2:49

, but we came from Los Angeles . It was an amazing trip

2:51

. I cannot wait to talk about it more

2:54

. We got away in a couple

2:56

months before we can do that , but

2:58

what an incredible experience

3:00

. Incredible trips , so much fun

3:02

Just a lasting memory

3:04

that will never

3:06

be . Really , you know , can't be unmatched , because

3:09

it was just so cool . Once in a lifetime opportunity

3:11

, not just for the reason we are there

3:13

. We got to go to the Warner Brothers

3:16

studio and do a tour of the studio

3:18

and see Harry Potter and

3:21

all the DC stuff . Friends

3:24

was the biggest thing . Our main reason

3:26

for going had lunch at Central Perk Cafe

3:28

. Sat on the actual couch

3:31

from the set on of

3:33

the Central Perk and Monica's

3:35

apartment . It's went to Monica's apartment

3:37

and Joey and Chandler's .

3:38

We got to sit in their chairs .

3:39

Got to sit in their chairs .

3:41

The foosball table .

3:43

It was such a cool , such an awesome

3:45

experience .

3:46

And Cash wanted to sit in the chair at Monica's apartment

3:48

where the episode

3:51

where they could . I be

3:53

wearing any more clothes . The cushions

3:55

are the essence of the chairs . Yes , he took the

3:57

essence .

3:59

And he did . It was just so fun . All the Barbie

4:01

stuff was set up , so our daughter was .

4:03

Oh my .

4:04

God Over the moon . About the Barbie

4:06

stuff .

4:06

It was so cool , though , because those were the actual

4:08

, like

4:10

they filmed it there .

4:11

Yes , it was the actual costumes , the actual

4:14

Barbie car .

4:15

The dream house

4:17

. The prop stuff that was up

4:20

were actual things that were on set

4:22

and the Barbie car .

4:24

Yes , it was so cool . They had

4:26

the box . Now , I don't know if that was the original box or

4:28

not , but they had the box where you get in the box

4:30

and all that . It was just such a cool

4:32

experience just to ride around Young Sheldon , big Bang

4:34

Theory , and then really just all the movies

4:37

we saw Merlot's from True Blood

4:39

, which we didn't even expect we saw

4:41

that . That was so , so cool .

4:43

So awesome . I even said something

4:45

to you before the tour person said

4:47

anything I said . Is that what

4:49

I think it is ? No , it can't be

4:52

. They filmed that here . We didn't have

4:54

a clue .

4:54

Nope , but sure enough , they did Merlot's

4:57

.

4:57

It was .

4:57

Merlot's . It was Merlot's from True Blood .

4:59

It was just the outside of Merlot's .

5:02

Yes , it wasn't , it's just the outside the bar

5:04

.

5:04

Everything else was on the soundstage .

5:05

Yeah , which was so cool . We went on one of the sound

5:08

stages for the show All American , which

5:10

was just . The whole thing was amazing and it

5:12

was so cool . We got to go to the beach , Santa

5:14

Monica Pier , rode the roller coaster , had dinner

5:16

there , went to Venice Beach , saw all that

5:19

, all the dudes working out . It

5:21

was so , so cool . But one of the other cool

5:23

things that we did got to go to a Laker game

5:25

.

5:26

That was pretty cool .

5:27

I mean , I'm not expected . We

5:29

had no plans to do that , but they

5:31

were in town . Yes , it was preseason

5:33

, but who cares , we still got to go to the Laker game

5:35

watch them against the Warriors . Steph

5:38

Curry and company , the kids

5:40

being huge basketball fans that they are playing

5:42

basketball they thought that was so , so

5:44

, so cool .

5:45

Had to get jerseys .

5:46

Yes , I had to get jerseys . I had to get the whole experience

5:49

. We got tickets . We had no idea how

5:51

great our tickets would be , but they were dead

5:53

. Center court , like Cashman's seat , split

5:56

the center court line . We were right behind

5:58

all the data people .

5:59

Yeah , I said , look , we're at the 50 yard line

6:01

.

6:03

Wrong sport , but

6:05

the kids got so into the game they were upset . The

6:08

Lakers lost at the end of it , but they

6:10

had a blast . So much fun .

6:12

Oh man , elkie was mad .

6:14

Oh she was .

6:14

She was like furious because basketball is her sport

6:17

.

6:17

Basketball is her game , but one guy did

6:19

get a block light in the game and Elkie just stood up

6:21

and not in my house , not

6:24

in my house . It's just so funny

6:26

from this little bitty girl who adores

6:29

.

6:29

Even the people around us were laughing at her .

6:31

Oh yeah , I mean preseason game . Nobody really

6:33

cares . But boy , she was taking everything to heart

6:35

. She cared so much .

6:36

She was don't

6:39

look at me , they're losing .

6:41

Yes , and the place we stayed was great

6:43

. We fell in love with the toilet , the

6:46

highlight of the trip , almost really was

6:48

, and I'm pretty sure

6:51

I found it at Costco . It's gonna

6:53

have to be a staple in our home because it was one of the coolest

6:56

things . It's amazing

6:58

. A revelator share . It changes everything .

7:00

Is it at least gonna be in the master ?

7:01

bathroom , only the master bathroom . I don't

7:03

care about the other bathrooms , it's the one that I'm using

7:05

. That's all I really care about . I'm gonna be selfish in this manner and

7:08

no one else gets to do that , but I wanted to talk today because

7:10

we did go to the Laker game

7:12

and we experienced

7:14

the basketball game and our kids love basketball . They love

7:16

sports , but we play too many

7:19

sports now .

7:20

Yes .

7:21

Sports has become the center of everyone's

7:23

universe and everyone's world , and I

7:25

get it because we're sports people . Yeah

7:27

, we love baseball especially

7:29

. You know I'll watch basketball , I'll watch football

7:31

, golf , hockey , but baseball is our

7:33

sport . But what

7:35

we are seeing is it is ruining

7:38

families . It's ruining

7:41

kids potential . They're

7:43

getting burnt out on it . It is ruining marriages

7:45

, not just for the fact that we're so committed

7:48

to this , but the financial aspect

7:50

of it all , sure , and we see it with so

7:52

many people .

7:53

So I thought it would be , but we also see it ruining

7:55

city sports

7:57

. It has destroyed city sports , like the city leagues

7:59

, which Because people are thinking

8:03

oh , they can do a better job than the

8:05

person that's actually volunteered to coach , Volunteered

8:08

to coach .

8:09

Yeah . If you think you can do a better job , you've volunteered

8:11

to coach . Trust me , there's plenty of opportunity

8:13

to be able to do that .

8:14

So your first time to

8:17

a travel ball league , because you think you can watch

8:19

a couple of YouTube clips and you know

8:21

what you're doing .

8:22

Oh well , that absolutely happens , and

8:24

the sad thing is that we see . You

8:26

know 8U and 10U , especially baseball

8:29

. But it's basketball , it's football , it's all of it , but

8:31

baseball especially . Like

8:33

. These parents are pushing their kids on these

8:35

teams to win championships

8:38

.

8:38

I just want the rings .

8:39

And at this age that

8:42

does not matter . No , no one's

8:44

going to care , Nobody's going

8:46

to remember it . You know the kids are not going

8:48

to remember , you know , oh , all

8:50

the rings that don't want to . None of that matters At

8:52

that age . It's time to teach the game , learn the

8:55

game , fall in love with the game . So

8:57

hopefully , overall , they'll be able to love the sport

8:59

. Because we're passionate

9:01

about sports , we believe in sports . I think there's really

9:03

good in sports , Mm-hmm , but

9:06

especially for young kids . Let

9:08

a kid be a kid . Yeah , you know at the end of the day , let

9:11

that happen . So just kind of want to

9:13

talk to you about the dynamic

9:15

, the sports culture that we currently have

9:17

and just how it's

9:19

ruining everything , because what we have found and

9:21

we found it with people that we know that

9:24

it's like every day , every

9:26

weekend . They live and they

9:28

breathe their youth sports .

9:32

Why .

9:35

My theory is because

9:37

they peaked

9:39

in Little League , or

9:43

maybe they peaked in high school and

9:46

they didn't get to live out that dream to be the

9:48

pro . So I said you know what

9:50

my kid's going to play

9:52

in , everything , all

9:54

the time we're going to live and breathe

9:57

this sport because my

9:59

kid's going to make it .

10:01

Yeah , it's about a 1% chance .

10:03

It's less than a 1% chance . You

10:06

know it's just the dream of my kid's

10:08

going to be the next Jordan , or my kid's going to be the next

10:10

LeBron , or the next Tom Brady

10:12

, or the next Patrick Mahomes , or the next Bryce Harper

10:15

. Whoever it is my kid's going

10:17

to , it ain't going to happen . Okay , I'm sorry

10:19

.

10:20

I mean , even before we had cash , we would

10:22

joke around . You know , we're

10:25

going to adopt from

10:27

the Dominican .

10:28

Yes , an 18 , a 17

10:30

and a half year old , shortstop from the Dominican

10:32

.

10:33

Or a power hitter .

10:33

you know , that's it power hitting out a

10:36

hard throwing lefty out of the bullpen , just something

10:38

.

10:38

I mean , we really looked into it .

10:40

Yeah , and it's not an easy process at all .

10:41

No , you have to live there for three months , speak the language

10:44

fluently and a lot of other

10:46

things , so it's not like it's something

10:49

anybody can go do . I completely

10:51

understand why it's not something anybody can go do

10:53

. But we

10:55

have our own child . Okay

10:57

, great , we're having a boy . All right

10:59

, 16 years old , he's dropping out of school

11:01

. He's going to get his GED . We're

11:04

going to send him to instantly send him to a wooden

11:06

college .

11:07

He'll play there for two years and he's going pro .

11:09

Yeah , and that was the thought , and it was

11:11

a , Now he's 11 , so I don't know that .

11:14

It was a tongue-in-cheek kind of like yeah

11:17

, that could be possible . We could possibly push

11:19

for that and do that , especially as catchman

11:21

has gotten older . Absolutely

11:23

not . No , because and

11:25

we've seen the dynamic that you sports and

11:28

we're just going to pick on baseball mostly . But

11:30

travel baseball has become cash

11:33

, has been asked by multiple teams to

11:35

come play , and

11:37

one not just

11:39

for how important our faith is , because even

11:41

if I think , if it wasn't where it

11:43

is , I still think we would probably

11:46

not choose to not go that route

11:48

, because let

11:50

them be a kid , and

11:52

he's not allowed those kids , a lot of these kids are not allowed

11:54

to be kids anymore .

11:55

No .

11:56

I mean , it is from like March , even

11:58

through now , like we were , went to

12:00

a friend of ours daughters in a play and

12:03

sure enough , there's a travel baseball tournament going on

12:05

right down the street . And here

12:07

we are mid-October . It's every single weekend

12:10

, it's what goes on .

12:12

Look , we are hardcore , won't ? We say this ? And

12:15

hardcore believe there are

12:17

only certain teams that need to

12:19

be playing baseball in the month of October

12:22

.

12:22

Yes , there's just a handful of them and they're

12:24

in the major leagues .

12:26

There's October baseball , for a reason , and

12:28

if you're not playing to win the actual World

12:31

Series , stop

12:33

.

12:33

Take a break .

12:34

Geez . But now it makes me think

12:37

of if all of these teams are doing

12:39

that constantly and these kids are being

12:41

forced to do it . Do these kids even

12:43

get to watch baseball ? Did

12:46

they get to watch baseball besides

12:48

the other people that they're playing or the game

12:50

that they're waiting on to end , before they actually

12:53

get on the field .

12:54

I would say some , but not

12:56

much . No , Not much . I mean we watch

12:58

baseball . We don't revolve our lives around

13:00

it , but we watch it . If it's on , we're going to watch

13:03

. We watch the playoffs and we'll you know , we'll watch

13:05

the game that's on tonight . We'll watch over the next few

13:07

weeks as it kind of the season comes to the close for the

13:09

major leagues , but I would say that probably

13:11

don't .

13:12

And we were when

13:15

we were in LA that Saturday

13:17

should have been game five

13:19

for the Dodgers .

13:21

Should have been .

13:22

And we were oh

13:24

, come on , Dodgers . Okay , so

13:27

we have a good connection with the Dodgers

13:29

because when Mookie Betts

13:31

was a rookie he played

13:33

for the Red Sox . Cash got to meet

13:35

Mookie Betts his rookie season

13:38

, which was David Ortiz's

13:40

last season , he got to

13:42

give Mookie a high five , he got his autograph

13:45

. I mean , what two and a

13:47

half three year old knows

13:50

baseball players ?

13:51

No , I think Cash knows players . I think he was three . He

13:54

was three years old , he was three years old .

13:56

We got tickets purposely for

13:58

the . It

14:01

was Atlanta versus the Red Sox .

14:04

Bray's Red Sox .

14:05

So we purposely got tickets on

14:07

the visitor's side

14:09

, second row , which is exactly

14:12

by the dugout . Cash

14:15

had the time of his life . He

14:17

still talks about it .

14:19

Yes , he does , he remembers that he remembers . That's a core

14:21

memory for him .

14:22

Yes , he remembers Mookie giving him a high five

14:24

. He remembers Brock Holt . He

14:26

remembers Dustin Padreuia , the

14:28

pitching coach that came out that gave him a

14:30

baseball . I think Brock Holt gave him a baseball in the

14:33

game . David Ortiz

14:35

Big Poppy gave him a baseball

14:37

. That game , I mean , didn't

14:40

the first base coach give him one ?

14:42

He did . He got like six or seven baseballs that game

14:44

. That's when he became a ball magnet . Yes

14:46

, it was crazy .

14:48

But the reason that he continued to get

14:50

all of these is because he was

14:53

sitting right next to the dugout

14:55

. He could see the players .

14:57

Mm-hmm .

14:59

What three-year-old knows those

15:02

faces that he's never met before

15:04

? And they're right in front

15:06

of him and he's calling out their names Like

15:08

he would get their attention . And

15:11

he still knows players . He knows where , who

15:14

is no longer with the Red Sox , or

15:16

like Mookie .

15:18

Where they were traded , to who they were traded

15:20

for .

15:20

To the Dodgers . So we were oh

15:23

, come on , game five , game five , because that was our

15:25

.

15:26

That was going to be our Saturday .

15:27

We were going to game five October

15:30

baseball .

15:32

But no , but my Dodgers

15:34

got swept in three and season

15:37

was over , but in our

15:39

he loves baseball so much . Loves

15:41

it , loves to play it . But even he has

15:43

said like , look , I don't want to play , travel

15:45

, I don't want to do what these people

15:47

that I , you know , play , have played with and my friends

15:50

do , because they are gone every

15:52

weekend . They practice all the time

15:54

. There's a single biggest focal

15:56

point of their lives and when you know

15:58

, when we're asked about it , I

16:01

don't think we'd do it anyways . But my first

16:03

question is you know I could see the benefit of it

16:05

. I love playing the games and that's

16:07

a fun part of it . What do y'all do

16:09

on Sundays ? Oh , we practice

16:12

play games every Sunday . Non-negotiable

16:14

in our house , absolute non-negotiable

16:17

. And I , you know , I've said it at church before

16:19

, I've said it today that you know one hour we could

16:21

church ain't going to cut it . You're not going to actually get to

16:23

, you know , get the full experience

16:25

of who Jesus is , if you just do it once a week and you're

16:28

think you're good an hour a week . But

16:30

that one hour a week is so , so

16:33

important .

16:33

Yes .

16:34

Yes , you need to have other times of the week throughout

16:36

your week , every single day , but that one

16:39

hour a week is non-negotiable

16:41

. I'm sorry , Nothing

16:43

else is going to take the precedent over

16:45

that . I mean even when we were gone last week flying home

16:47

watching church on live on the plane

16:50

.

16:50

Yeah , I was mad because I couldn't get

16:52

my wifi to work and you're over there , you

16:55

watched the live stream

16:58

.

16:58

I watched the .

16:58

I watched I watched church and then .

17:00

I watched not to worship on the same

17:03

long flight .

17:05

We were on the same flight , you got to watch

17:07

the worship . Now , granted

17:09

, time changed , kind of helped that .

17:10

A little bit .

17:11

A little bit , but I was irritated

17:14

because I couldn't get anything to work , so

17:16

I just sat there and watched whatever

17:18

was on the plane .

17:19

But I mean , it's a non-negotiable for

17:21

us , and that's where I think a lot of this leads

17:24

to is and we've talked about it plenty of times

17:26

before , but the priorities are all kind of out of whack

17:28

and what's happened is it's God's no number

17:30

, not number one . Your spouse

17:32

is definitely not there . Sports

17:35

.

17:36

Yeah , digitism makes sense to me

17:38

.

17:38

No , sports is right there . Sports is

17:40

for a lot number , number one , and

17:42

we even see the obsession with college football . With

17:44

where we live . People are obsessed with it . It

17:47

takes precedent over everything else .

17:49

I just I

17:52

don't know . I know I'm getting

17:56

a backlash for saying this , but I

18:00

feel like football is way too easy to

18:02

understand .

18:04

I know you do . People are gonna hate

18:06

you for this .

18:07

And because an imbecile can

18:10

understand football , I

18:12

can't stand it .

18:13

I love that word imbecile . It's so underutilized

18:16

. But you're right , it

18:18

is . It's fairly basic . I don't know . There's different

18:20

schemes and plays in all that and

18:22

that's for a lot of sports , but

18:24

the things with baseball especially , there's so many little , just

18:27

odd things .

18:29

And that's why people don't understand baseball

18:31

. Maybe because you have to have a

18:33

brain to actually understand .

18:35

Yeah .

18:36

You have to know the pitch

18:38

count . Are you gonna swing on this one ? What

18:41

pitch is coming ?

18:42

Yeah . What's the defense gonna do ? What's the runner

18:44

gonna do ? Who is the runner ? What's the count ? What's

18:46

the score ? Is it late in the game ? Is it late in the game

18:48

? What is the situation ?

18:51

Is this guy gonna steal ? I

18:53

mean , what happens if there's a pass ball ? There's

18:55

so many different things that people

18:57

have no idea

19:00

. There's so many little things I feel

19:02

like it's a trivia game and

19:04

I love trivia , love trivia

19:06

. So if you have

19:09

all kinds of scenarios , that's possible . You

19:11

have to be able to pick the right one

19:13

that's gonna come next , and if you

19:15

don't pick the right one , you're

19:18

screwed .

19:18

It can make or break the entire game

19:21

, which is the beauty of it . It's why every single

19:23

little situation , every single pitch matters

19:25

.

19:26

Everybody . I've learned that even

19:29

working with the school , so we

19:31

will now . We

19:35

go to the park and we play softball . The

19:42

amount of kids that they

19:44

might even play a different sport After

19:47

they know three strikes and

19:49

you're out . After , say , they have two strikes and they fell off

19:51

a ball , they

19:55

hand the bat to the next person . They

19:57

just don't know .

19:59

They have no idea .

20:00

Some of them don't know when they do hit the

20:02

ball that they're supposed to run To

20:05

first base . Some have gone the third

20:07

base . It's

20:10

like little league , like tee ball all over

20:12

again . You

20:15

are high school . What is happening

20:17

? I don't know , because I do think sports are

20:20

important because it does keep you one

20:22

active .

20:23

You're able to help build relationships , help to have a passion

20:25

towards something , but

20:27

it also keeps you busy and out of trouble , essentially , especially

20:30

when you get a little bit older . That

20:32

is true Because we see a lot of kids who don't play

20:35

sports , and what am I ? Going to do with my time .

20:40

But you also have these kids that play sports

20:42

and still get in trouble .

20:43

Well , I think they're like king of the world when

20:46

that happens . So sports

20:48

are . Sports are ruling our lives

20:51

, and it's kind of sad to see because

20:53

we are so passionate about it , but

20:55

especially in the confines of the marriage . Here's what

20:58

I see . The one the time commitment

21:01

is huge . So much time

21:03

away from your home

21:05

, run into practices

21:08

, run into tournaments , run into games . It's

21:10

expensive , One you got to pay

21:12

to play .

21:13

Yes .

21:14

You got to get the uniforms , got

21:16

to get all the equipment , the bats , the stuff . Then

21:19

you got tournaments all

21:21

over the place .

21:23

Not just a drive down the street

21:25

, it's a we're

21:28

going to be gone all weekend .

21:30

Yes , it's all right , we're going to Georgia

21:32

, we're going here , we're going there , so you

21:34

might have to take time off work . You

21:37

got to drive there .

21:37

You got to leave a little early .

21:39

Hotel rooms , food money

21:42

to get into the games . Every single

21:44

game for you , your whole family

21:47

, the whole thing , and you do that

21:49

week after week after week

21:51

after week drains

21:53

the bank account . What's one of the biggest

21:56

things where marriage is struggle finances

21:58

. This is not helping that whatsoever

22:01

.

22:02

No , absolutely not .

22:04

Another thing is you're so focused

22:07

on the kid , on the sport

22:09

, the parents , the

22:11

other stuff . You're not connecting with

22:13

your spouse at all . Y'all ain't having sex

22:15

, no they're not I promise you that You're

22:18

crammed in a hotel room with your kids and all

22:20

the baseball stuff . It's not

22:22

happening , Nope . And we talked

22:24

last episode the importance of sex and how important

22:26

it is . It's not the most important thing in the marriage

22:28

, but there's a great way to stay connected

22:30

. It's kind of the glue that can hold it together

22:33

. It's part of that formula . That's

22:35

not happening . Chances are . Dads

22:38

are hanging out on this side , moms are

22:40

hanging out over here . There's no community

22:43

, there's no communication . They're not talking to each

22:45

other and not even spending time with each other at

22:47

all . Man , the distance that that is going to create

22:49

. And another thing about these sports

22:52

is the

22:54

pressure put

22:56

on the children to play

22:58

these , even when they might not want to anymore , because

23:01

it's now become a social club .

23:03

Oh , it's all politics now .

23:06

And I got to be with the cool parents .

23:09

We have to be on that team .

23:11

That team . That's where the parents are .

23:13

That's where the parents that are the

23:15

cool parents are . So people think anyways

23:17

.

23:18

It's a social club and it's

23:21

destroying marriages . We've

23:23

seen it destroy marriages . They

23:25

just fall apart all for the sake

23:27

of the rings .

23:30

It doesn't make sense to me . Now we've

23:32

witnessed this firsthand , not because

23:34

our children are playing any

23:38

kind of travel ball or anything

23:40

I mean our kids do play sports but in

23:42

our situation . We've

23:45

been coaches for a very long time .

23:46

We have .

23:48

But recently I've

23:51

taken on two big coaching

23:54

positions huge

23:56

coaching positions .

23:58

Volleyball state playoffs

24:00

are in full swing . Got

24:02

an actual chance .

24:03

We do .

24:04

It's really really cool . It's been really fun to watch .

24:06

It's been so much fun being able , because

24:08

I played volleyball and

24:11

we just all just happened because

24:13

Elkie was going to go to

24:15

volleyball camp .

24:17

That's it .

24:18

And then I become the coach .

24:21

You become the coach .

24:22

And then , well , it's helpful because

24:24

the coach , ashley . I

24:27

went to high school with Ashley . My

24:29

senior year was her freshman year and we

24:31

played softball together and

24:34

she was hired for

24:36

softball . She didn't

24:38

know she was gonna have volleyball this season .

24:40

Hey , we need a coach , you could do okay ? Hey

24:42

, you play volleyball too right .

24:43

I was like oh crap why .

24:46

But this way has been fun to watch .

24:47

And then but we go

24:50

into this season and

24:53

I

24:55

prayed about it .

24:57

Oh yeah .

24:58

But I prayed about that job

25:00

before I even knew

25:03

that that was a thing .

25:06

Yeah .

25:07

And it was just okay

25:10

God .

25:11

Well , it was essentially a prayer to God of you

25:13

know . Hey , kids are in school . Where

25:16

do I fit it's ? What am I supposed to be doing ? You

25:19

know God , where do you want me ? Where can I make a bigger

25:21

impact for you ? I

25:23

don't know what that looks like . Give me some guidance

25:25

and then wham .

25:27

Not only did I get the volleyball coach dropped

25:31

in my lap , there was softball

25:34

.

25:34

Which .

25:35

High school ball . This isn't

25:37

just something that you can go . Hey

25:40

, we need , we're short of coach . Can

25:42

you guys sign up to be the volunteer of

25:44

the city league , kind of thing ?

25:46

No , this is a bigger deal .

25:47

This is a big deal .

25:49

It's important .

25:51

So I'm head JV volleyball

25:54

and softball coaches .

25:55

And the assistant varsity .

25:56

The assistant varsity .

25:57

And this has also been parlayed into since

26:00

like full-time position at the school . Where

26:02

you're gonna be there every single day .

26:04

Yeah , I am the permanent PE

26:08

coach sub .

26:11

Yes , because that position's vacant .

26:12

The position's vacant . They're holding

26:15

it for , hopefully , a football

26:17

coach , but they're not looking for

26:20

anything . So until further notice

26:22

I am in that position . So I

26:24

am gone from 6.50

26:27

am until some

26:29

nights , nine or

26:31

longer .

26:32

Depends on that . We're adjusting to that

26:34

schedule and we come to as many of the games

26:36

and everything that we can , and we'll do the same for softball

26:38

, but it just kind of shows you that .

26:40

It does put strain .

26:42

Well , this also shows you how sports can be good

26:44

if you use it for the right purpose .

26:46

Right .

26:47

If you say , hey , god , I don't know what

26:49

I'm supposed to do . Hey , I'm really passionate

26:51

about this and I have a lot of love for this , I have a

26:53

lot of knowledge for this , but , god , where

26:55

am I supposed to be ? What am I supposed to be doing ? And

26:57

, man , when you're faithful to him , boy

27:00

, he will drop some things to you that you had no

27:02

idea were possible .

27:03

Oh man , the things I have learned in

27:06

the past . What two

27:08

months .

27:09

Yes . Well , I've been with volleyball since the

27:11

summer , but full

27:13

time Two and a half months of school now

27:15

.

27:16

It's insane .

27:18

And the kids kind of look towards

27:20

you and look to you and

27:23

talk to you , open up to you and

27:25

just say those little openings where you can

27:27

make such a difference that

27:30

you didn't know was ever going to be possible .

27:31

Never , ever imagined .

27:34

And had you not been faithful , those

27:36

opportunities wouldn't be there . And the passion

27:38

for sports helps to kind of circle

27:40

back that sports can

27:42

be very , very good .

27:43

Absolutely .

27:44

If they're used in the right context , because it

27:46

is true , your child's not going pro ? No

27:49

, ok , your kid's not going to go pro .

27:51

I'll be all in this out there , we want our

27:53

kid to go pro . He's probably not

27:55

going to go pro .

27:56

Probably won't go pro . He's good and he

27:58

loves it .

27:59

Absolutely , and that's what

28:01

he will tell you . He's going to . Even

28:03

Elkie was Cass just said

28:05

that he was going to be in

28:08

the what's it called the

28:10

MLB .

28:12

Yes .

28:13

Your brother just told you that he was going to be

28:15

part of the MLB and

28:17

you're coming to tell on him . I

28:20

said , elkie , that's Major League Baseball , oh

28:23

.

28:24

And if that's a dream ?

28:25

Who am I to say no

28:28

?

28:29

Absolutely , it can come true , but again

28:31

, the likelihood of your kid

28:33

becoming a pro athlete even though they

28:35

played in 218

28:37

Middle

28:40

League travel baseball tournaments and

28:42

won 47 rings when

28:44

they were between the ages of 8 and 12

28:46

years old does has

28:48

no impact on them making

28:50

it to the pros whatsoever .

28:52

I mean , look at Cass , we won our first

28:54

. Like our baseball season last year , we

28:56

won . I think we were something

28:59

in our tournament .

29:00

We did , we finished high .

29:01

And they got rings . We didn't have a

29:03

clue .

29:04

No .

29:04

And it was the first one Cass ever got , so he was Honestly

29:08

completely jacked up about it .

29:09

He thought it was very cool .

29:10

Ask him where it's at right now .

29:11

Yeah , that bro . Hey , he's got no idea where

29:13

it is . Yeah , why ? Because it doesn't

29:15

matter , but he can remember the

29:17

plays , he can remember his teammates , he can remember

29:20

the games , he can remember the fun that he had there .

29:22

That's what's most important .

29:23

Back on pictures and things like that 100%

29:26

of the time where it's at but what

29:28

I want to get at is before we

29:30

, before you go , because we'll wrap up in a second I'm

29:33

Highly unlikely very

29:35

small percentage that your child will ever go pro

29:38

in the sport . However , I

29:40

can 100% guarantee you

29:42

that if you'll just Take

29:45

it back , give it to the Lord

29:47

and say , god , just use me

29:49

, however you want , whatever

29:51

that looks like , a hundred percent guarantee

29:54

that you will live out the purpose you are supposed to

29:56

and it will far exceed any

29:58

kind of stupid sport , stupid ring

30:00

, anything like that that you could ever

30:02

even imagine because you imagine the amount of time that

30:04

people spend in these

30:07

games and at the ballpark

30:09

.

30:10

If you could take even just two

30:13

of those Weeks

30:15

out of the month , put that

30:17

into your actual child .

30:19

Oh my god , could you imagine , if you just the

30:22

sport if you just took a fraction

30:24

of the time and you poured that

30:26

into your child , to your faith

30:28

your marriage your work to

30:31

your spouse . Could

30:33

you imagine taking just one One

30:35

of those games away and pouring that amount of time

30:38

into your relationship with your spouse ? The difference that

30:40

it would make Because

30:42

you're again . Your kids aren't

30:44

gonna remember all that . They're gonna remember

30:46

mom and dad .

30:47

They're gonna remember all the fights you have .

30:49

They're gonna remember . Mom and dad did your

30:51

. Mom and dad fought , constantly fight with each other

30:54

.

30:54

Mm-hmm , mom and dad truly love each

30:56

other and want to be around each other how many

30:58

times did you see your parents

31:00

give each other kisses and tell each other that

31:02

they loved exactly ?

31:03

they're going to mimic the relationship that they

31:05

See it's a single greatest

31:08

gift we can give our children as a healthy marriage , because

31:11

that's what they're gonna see if they . If they see mom

31:13

and dad constantly fighting , oh well , that's

31:15

what marriage is . So I need to find someone

31:17

who I can constantly scream at and yell at and fight with

31:20

and all that nonsense .

31:21

And I will quit everything and anything

31:24

to not make that ever

31:26

happen . We're arguers

31:28

or no anything , but if

31:31

something were to just Well

31:33

, I mean , the only way I know that

31:36

that would happen is we got rid of Jesus .

31:38

That's the hundred percent right , because I I

31:40

can confidently say our

31:43

children know that we love each other . Yeah , so

31:45

much that they can see it and now they

31:47

will know what to expect in

31:49

a marriage .

31:50

Like we had to stop play fighting . Remember we

31:52

did it the tour cash from the piece it was

31:54

sarcastic , like , ah , like

31:56

you would do all the things and I

32:00

would come home and not have to do anything , and

32:02

I would , of

32:05

course , god . Can't

32:08

do anything around anything around here because

32:10

it's already done .

32:11

Hmm , that kind of and we just joke around . We'd laugh

32:13

About in cash , thought we were serious , he was scared

32:15

, he was nervous , he's upset .

32:17

Can you please stop fighting ? Oh

32:19

baby , I'm so sorry , we are not fine

32:21

.

32:21

No , we are playing around , we are goofing off . That

32:23

had to end real quick yeah it did , because

32:25

your kids will see that and that's what they expect

32:27

and you know . And even to kind of push

32:30

the cycle forward , if you constantly push them in sports

32:32

, they're gonna do one or two things , they're gonna do the same

32:34

things that our kids , or it sometimes

32:37

comes to the point where they hate it so

32:39

much that they've given up on it and their

32:41

children will give up . It won't even be

32:44

a lot .

32:44

Yeah , they won't put their kids through .

32:46

No .

32:46

I've seen parents make just burn their kids

32:48

out .

32:49

No , it happens all , all the time and it's

32:51

. It's so sad . So just to wrap

32:53

up sports are very , very good and

32:56

can be so important , but man

32:58

don't let them really life . They like come

33:00

Way down on the spectrum

33:02

of the important way down .

33:03

Education is way more important than education

33:06

is more important .

33:07

Family is more important , your spouse more important . God

33:09

is far more important . Your job

33:11

is more important . Making memories

33:13

together is more important . Going on vacation together

33:15

is more important . All that's more important

33:17

than some sort of ring . You want you when you

33:20

, when you were 10 years old Far

33:22

more .

33:23

Yes , I couldn't agree more .

33:24

So let's get out of here until next time

33:26

, okay , god , we love you . We're so thankful for

33:28

what you do , we're thankful for this platform

33:31

, we're thankful for sports . But , god , we just pray that

33:33

people who listen to this will just take a step

33:35

back . We'll prioritize things the way they need to be

33:37

prioritized . God , just allow you to lead

33:39

them . I lead them in their faith

33:41

towards you and their marriages and

33:43

the relationships and their children

33:46

and their families and their work . Whatever they do , god

33:48

will give you all the credit and all the honor in Jesus

33:50

name , amen .

33:51

Amen Play ball Haha

33:53

.