Episode Fourteen — Part V (Chapters one and two):

Spider and Seedy finally come to the Kunfu-riffic conclusion totheir kidnapping caper, learning all about Japanese sword-making,physics and why acrylic ski masks suck. In chapter two, the gangfinally puts their plan into action, and they capture the King of theGag, learning that he has some seriously lizardfish proclivities. Andthat two women kissing is not as hot as it first sounds.

An excerpt from the kidnapping, as Shute arrives at Helena’s apartment:

"The idea was that Max and I were going to get intoHelena’s closet and wait for their signal. They hoped to get Shute toagree to being tied up, as part of their little three-some. If thatwent off without a hitch, then it should make things considerablyeasier.

We all had another drink together, to kill the last twenty minutesbefore Shute was due to arrive. No doubt he would be fashionably late.By one pm, we were all keyed up. I don’t mind telling you there was anawkward psycho-sexual energy in the room, not at all dampened byanother round of scotch. Honza Chodets was tasting better and better.

I was so wound up, I almost dropped my scotch, when at five-to-one,there was a knock at the door. Helena grabbed our drinks, poured theminto the sink, and shooed us into her bedroom, where Max and I got intothe walk-in closet. Ariadne waited in the bedroom, looking at methrough the slats in Helena’s closet doors.

Helena let Shute in and his eyebrows actually arched when he sawwhat she was wearing. “Where’s Thipirous?” he asked. “I hope she’s notdressed as provocatively as you Borovich, or my heart might not be ableto take it.”"