0:00

It happens to so many couples.

0:02

I've seen it again and again.

0:04

At the beginning, there was deep passion in the relationship and in the bedroom.

0:09

And at some point everything went south.

0:12

No more sex, no more intimacy, no more connection.

0:17

Disconnect became the new normal.

0:20

A sense of awkwardness in the air. Talking bullshit that doesn't come from the heart.

0:25

Acting as if everything is fine, even though both know nothing is fine.

0:31

This doesn't have to be the case. I know this not only from the many couples and individuals I've worked with

0:37

all over the world, but also from my own relationship with my wife, Liliana.

0:42

I know wholeheartedly, the longer you are together in a relationship, the higher

0:48

the possibility of experiencing deeper intimacy, deeper trust, deeper passion,

0:54

deeper safety in the relationship.

0:57

However, of course, if we don't have right tools and resources to create this, then

1:02

it's going to prove very challenging. I will show you in today's episode how you can make radical and effective changes in

1:10

your relationship to reignite the passion.

1:14

Both overall in the relationship, but also in the bedroom.

1:19

Just because a loss of attraction, a lack of attraction, a lack of passion,

1:24

and polarity happens to so many couples, doesn't mean that it is normal

1:29

or that it is the way it should be. There is this collective idea that a long-term relationship

1:35

Becomes boring after a while, that love and passion fade with time.

1:40

And of course it is normal if couples don't have the resources

1:45

and tools to go deeper, to move through challenges, to move through

1:49

tension, to move through conflict that naturally arises in a relationship.

1:54

There is no way around it. It's natural.

1:58

No matter how conscious the relationship that there is, tension, that there

2:01

are challenges to work through. And also while it is true that the honeymoon phase ends at a certain point,

2:09

contrary to our common understanding, this doesn't mean that the sex and

2:15

intimacy become less passionate.

2:18

There's this idea honeymoon phase ends, well, then the sex and

2:21

intimacy become less passionate. No.

2:24

When the honeymoon phase ends, ideally at a spiritual level, what happens is

2:29

that everything matures to an even deeper level of depth in the relationship.

2:35

So the sex, the intimacy, the connection takes an even deeper level and the passion

2:42

matures into something even more profound.

2:47

Now this leads us to the biggest block I'll be discussing now the biggest

2:53

blocks that couples experience that, um, weighing passion, that weighing intimacy,

3:00

that doesn't allow us to experience deep and profound sex, and then I will talk

3:05

about what needs to be done in order to create radical changes, profound

3:11

changes to reignite that passion as powerfully as possible, but not just

3:15

reignite it, but also to actively deepen it, because I'll talk about that later.

3:21

But I always like to say love is infinite, passion is infinite, devotion is infinite.

3:28

You can always go deeper. That's the beauty.

3:31

So the longer you are together, the deeper you can go.

3:35

Is it going to be easy? No. But is it possible?

3:39

Yes. And is it worth it? 1000%, yes.

3:44

Now, Let's talk about the first block that couples experience that lead

3:48

them towards this downward spiral of no intimacy, no sex, no passion.

3:53

The first block is not being able to navigate conflict.

3:58

This is a huge one. If a couple does not know how to navigate conflict, it's going

4:03

to naturally erode intimacy.

4:06

Trust, passion, safety over time.

4:10

Because when we don't know how to deal with conflict, it lingers there.

4:15

It's, it's never fully resolved, which leads to disconnect.

4:19

The disconnect, the continuous experience, the disconnect leads to a lack of

4:23

emotional intimacy, which then translates always to a lack of physical intimacy.

4:30

Because sex starts outside of the bedroom.

4:33

And becoming physical is only a byproduct of the emotional intimacy

4:39

that was created beforehand. This is especially true for women, for the feminine, but it also holds truth,

4:46

of course, for men, for the masculine.

4:49

Here is what happens when you are not able to reconnect properly after conflict.

4:55

It leads to disconnect, which creates distrust, which I call

5:02

creating negative momentum.

5:04

So many couples experience negative momentum in their relationship.

5:10

Ultimately, what what this means is the more disconnect you experience,

5:14

the more this, this disconnect lingers, the more your body and nervous system

5:19

get used that whenever there is conflict, what follows is disconnect.

5:24

So a pattern gets created. If you go through the same thing again and again and again, the body

5:30

and the nervous system adapts to it. It becomes the new normal.

5:36

So whenever you have that same argument, that same fight that keeps repeating

5:39

or a new fight about something new that arises, doesn't have to be the same thing,

5:44

then already your body, your nervous system, braces itself and repeats the

5:50

same reaction: disconnect, suffering, for some couples, this can even mean

5:55

breaking up for for a little while. A more subtle expression is for hours being in disconnect, or for

6:02

days even being in disconnect and not being able to connect properly.

6:06

And of course here and there, there can be disconnect.

6:09

But the longer you spend in disconnect, the more momentum, the

6:12

more negative momentum it creates. More about that later, how you can really powerfully shift out of that disconnect.

6:20

But to make it clear, Your body and nervous system get used to it.

6:24

This creates negative momentum because now it's not only the conflict, which

6:29

where the pattern repeats itself, there's disconnect every time, now

6:33

you also start to fear the conflict.

6:36

And because you fear the conflict, you try to avoid it, you try to tiptoe around it,

6:42

which creates even more blockage because you are no longer speaking your truth,

6:47

you are no longer in your power, you're trying to avoid, you're fearing something.

6:52

And these kind of even strengthens that downward spiral of negative

6:56

momentum and erodes the intimacy.

6:59

So it's not just that our body and nervous system is, um, adapted to

7:03

the CO to that exact same experience.

7:05

So the moment there is conflict, we emotionally shut down.

7:08

That is one of these experiences. Or the moment there is conflict, we beg our partner to, to reconnect and

7:16

there's the other partner shuts down and there's this constant back and forth,

7:20

which creates so much self suffering and creates this huge disconnect.

7:25

Whatever it is, I'm not gonna go too deep into every single possible way,

7:29

how this can express itself, but just to be, just to make it clear.

7:32

Emotional shutdown. So the B, the moment there is conflict, your body goes, okay, now

7:38

it's time for emotional shutdown. This has been automated.

7:40

This is, you've conditioned the body unconsciously into that,

7:45

conflict, shut down, disconnect.

7:48

And this, and then of course a fear starts to happen.

7:51

It almost becomes this thing that now has power over you.

7:56

And that should never happen. Conflict should never have power over you.

8:00

More about it in a second. So what do we need to do?

8:05

In order to really powerfully shift through the first blockage, which is

8:10

not being able to navigate conflict? Now, the first thing we need to learn is to tackle conflict head on.

8:18

This doesn't mean that you don't take, you can say, I need

8:23

10 minutes to ground myself or whatever, or I need half an hour.

8:26

But obviously not. I need three days, because that's just gonna cause more disconnect.

8:31

This doesn't mean that you have to tackle it in the heat of the moment

8:34

when you're totally triggered and in your wounding, expressing from

8:38

your wounding or from your shadow. Take 10 minutes but communicate it, of course, with the shared

8:44

vision of then to reconnect deeper. That's not what I'm meaning.

8:47

But what I'm meaning is as quickly as possible.

8:50

You want to tackle that head on, meaning you speak your truth.

8:54

You speak what's really in your heart, not afraid of the other person leaving

8:59

you, not afraid of the other person, not agreeing with you, not pleasing

9:03

him, but really speaking your truth. And this takes true courage, especially for those who are prone

9:10

to pleasing, especially those who have difficulty setting boundaries.

9:15

But it is extremely important that you are in that practice of speaking

9:19

and sharing your heart's truth.

9:22

Because if you cannot express that in an argument and you're kind of becoming

9:28

inauthentic because of fear of the other person losing you, then that's

9:32

not going to allow you to resolve that.

9:35

So very important, whenever there is conflict, both have to be able and have

9:39

to feel safe to be able to speak their heart's truth, of course, while honoring

9:44

the other person, not ripping them apart.

9:46

Speaking your heart's truth can be fierce, can involve setting boundaries,

9:50

but it's coming from a place of love.

9:53

One way you can do this is just breathe deeply into your heart and

9:56

then express deeply from your heart. And what happens then when both are doing that Passion in conflict

10:05

can quickly, because the energy of passion has this interesting dynamic

10:10

where it can lead to a passion from a passionate argument to passionate

10:14

intimacy or even passionate love making.

10:16

You might have experienced this. So there is a charge, because ultimately there is a charge and, and that

10:21

is actually good when a couple has that charge because you can use that

10:26

charge to powerfully work through.

10:30

Of course, some get completely hijacked by their shadow, and

10:32

then it's a never ending argument.

10:35

But what I'm essentially saying, if both fiercely speak their hearts truth with

10:39

the shared vision to reconnect and tackle this as quickly as possible in order to

10:44

connect again, then everything shifts because both can feel this profound

10:49

passion that comes together, that melts into one another of both, essentially

10:54

wanting to reconnect at the highest level.

10:58

And that creates for a really powerful experience where you are able to navigate,

11:04

uh, conflict really, really powerfully. And also you are teaching your body a nervous system that conflict is not bad.

11:11

Conflict means you can resolve it.

11:14

And conflict also means afterwards you can connect even deeper and experience

11:18

even more intimacy because you understand each other even more deeply, and

11:22

because you stepped even more into your truth, truly speaking, your heart.

11:27

This is what happens. The more you do this, the more it gains positive momentum because

11:32

you experience more connection. And now ultimately you are teaching your body, when there is conflict,

11:37

we cannot just resolve it, but we can even connect deeper.

11:40

We learn more about each other, we understand each other deeper.

11:43

Boom, and now everything starts to change.

11:46

Doesn't mean you're gonna love conflict from now on, but it certainly

11:49

means you're no longer afraid of it. And it certainly means you don't feel that it's going to destroy the relationship

11:54

or anything along those lines. You know, it's part of any relationship, and when it arises,

11:59

you can face it and you know in your heart you can connect even deeper.

12:03

That's truly powerful.

12:05

When a couple has that embodied experience, boom, everything shifts.

12:10

And what is the key thing here to make this really clear, the key thing here is

12:14

to prioritize connection above everything.

12:17

If you don't prioritize connection above everything in a relationship,

12:21

then there's going to eventually intimacy's going to wane.

12:25

So the couples who experience the deepest intimacy and passion in the

12:29

bedroom in general in any moment, they prioritize connection above all things.

12:35

So what do my wife and I do when we experience a disconnect?

12:38

We don't let it linger. We tackle it full on, um, speaking our hearts true fiercely if necessary, setting

12:45

boundaries if we have to really, but both with the shared vision of connecting as

12:50

quickly and as powerfully as possible.

12:52

And this literally shift everything.

12:55

Now, what is the second blockage that so many couples experience?

12:59

The second blockage is that both parties don't live from their core energy.

13:06

So most people, their core energy is masculine or feminine.

13:10

It's not gender specific, but usually very often a man has a core masculine energy

13:15

and a woman has a core feminine energy.

13:17

There are some rare exceptions where that is more balanced.

13:20

Um, it's different for every person, but these are just exceptions.

13:23

Usually someone has a core mask and a core feminine energy.

13:27

And with that come specific energetic responsibilities in the dance of intimacy.

13:32

And also come specific core desires.

13:35

So if you are not living from your core energy, are not aware of what

13:38

your core energy is, then you don't really know what your desires are.

13:42

This leads to you not being able to know how to communicate your desires, and

13:46

also it doesn't allow you to own and take responsibility for your unique energy

13:52

responsibility as the masculine or as the feminine in the dance of intimacy.

13:56

So, very quickly, because if I would go too deep into this, this podcast

14:01

episode is going to be very, very long. But for example, a man, if his core masculine energy, if his core energy is

14:07

masculine, for instance, He takes the lead in a healthy way in the relationship.

14:12

That can be one expression, conscious leadership.

14:15

So this for instance, means arranging date nights, um, making sure that there

14:19

is quality time spent together, for instance, Hey baby, this Friday I'm

14:23

gonna make that dinner reservation. And this doesn't mean, um, dominating in the sense, we're gonna go there because

14:29

I want to go there my way or the highway. No, but it's this kind of very powerful, assertive leadership that

14:35

says, Baby on Friday, I'm gonna make this dinner reservation, and we're

14:38

gonna have some really powerful, we're gonna have some really beautiful

14:41

quality time together to connect. For instance, something along those lines.

14:44

So this is a kind of expression of conscious, of conscious leadership

14:48

and it's, it Krenn, it's, it's, it's just an energetic responsibility.

14:51

What are other energy responsibilities?

14:53

Being present, bringing depth to the relationship.

14:57

The masculine his incredible gift of, of bringing depth, right?

15:00

A man who embodies his awakened masculine core, brings depth into the

15:04

mundane, transforms mundane moments, um, or has the ability to bring

15:09

so much depth to mundane moments.

15:12

You do this through your deep breath. You do this through your posture.

15:15

You do this for very powerful practices that I teach in my

15:18

Awakened Masculine program. What else?

15:21

For instance, being grounded, just in general, being grounded and not

15:24

being in a shaky, insecure energy and needy energy, but coming from

15:29

a grounded and powerful place.

15:31

This will, this is what it means to own your energetic responsibility, and as you

15:35

do this, it will naturally create really powerful attraction, really powerful

15:40

emotional intimacy, which then translates into really profound sexual intimacy.

15:47

Now, speaking as the woman, let's say the woman has a, her core energy is feminine.

15:51

This could be, for instance, trusting the conscious leadership of him.

15:55

Of course, you don't wanna trust his lead if he's coming from his shadow, but

15:59

if he's coming from his, um, masculine core and he's bringing his leadership,

16:03

trusting this lead, opening your heart towards his leadership, because that

16:07

naturally creates that deep polarity. Giving him space to step up, allowing him space to to step up

16:15

powerfully, to show up powerfully. For instance, his archaic desire to protect you to what could it be?

16:22

It could be something as simple as carrying the grocery bags or whatever.

16:25

That in alone already creates that spark. So, I don't allow my, my wife to, if we go grocery shopping together, I don't

16:33

allow her to carry the grocery bags. I mean, it's an absolute no-go, absolute no-go.

16:38

I carry them as many as they are, as heavy as they are, right?

16:42

So these little things, little things.

16:44

Just being, being a gentleman that's one of these and allowing him to

16:47

be that or anything protective. So it could be these little things such as, um, when we're walking on a

16:53

busy road, I'm gonna go on the left, um, and sh and my woman is gonna

16:57

face the words, uh, towards the wall, where it's safe and all these little

17:01

things, you know, these are deeply archaic things within the masculine,

17:05

this kind of protective incident. If you can open yourself and be appreciative of this,

17:09

this is very beautiful. And of course also here, I'm calling him out from your Oracle, if that is, if

17:16

it comes up, if he's lacking integrity.

17:18

If not, he's not present with you, right?

17:21

If he's losing himself in positivity or anything along those lines.

17:25

Calling him out from, from your, from your awakened feminine.

17:28

I've talked about this in many previous episodes.

17:30

This is also part of what, allows you both to grow.

17:33

And ultimately if he listens to it and steps up, allows for deeper

17:37

intimacy, allows for deeper passion. Otherwise, you both get stuck.

17:40

If you give in as a woman to your abandonment fears of fear of rejection,

17:45

don't express it, resentment is growing and it doesn't, uh, it

17:48

doesn't allow you to both evolve. And also, um, what else would be the angel responsibility?

17:54

Not going into hyper independence in this masculine armor, but letting him in.

17:59

Letting him into your heart, allowing him to contribute to the

18:03

safety and openness of your heart.

18:07

Of course, this goes way deeper, but if we live from our core energy, and I

18:12

teach about this in my Awakened Masculine and Awakened Feminine programs, how you

18:16

really start to embody your awakened masculine or awakened feminine, which

18:20

completely shifts your relationship life.

18:22

But living from our core energy automatically means we express ourselves

18:26

in the most authentic way, which naturally creates deep intimacy when

18:30

we're, when we're embodying our true self, we, we embody our specific desires.

18:35

We live in a way that is truthful to our deepest core and is naturally creates so

18:39

much intimacy, amplifies, and intensifies, and deepens our experience in the bedroom.

18:44

It's like two magnets, wonderfully flowing and coming together and being so deeply

18:50

drawn to one another in such a natural, such a sacred and such a powerful way.

18:55

And if the polarity is flipped, for instance, if the woman who has a

18:59

feminine core is living from masculine, It's overly living in her mask and

19:04

what we can also call masculine armor or, and he gets lost in positivity,

19:08

doesn't take any lead, doesn't take any responsibility, there's a lack of action.

19:12

There's, of course, this then leads to no emotional intimacy, no sex, no nothing.

19:17

Both are entirely stuck. So what's the key here?

19:20

In order to reignite the passion? It is about starting to going towards the most profound journey.

19:26

Embodying our awakened essence, whether that is masculine or whether

19:29

that is feminine, and then owning our true desires, owning our energetic

19:33

responsibility in the dance of intimacy. Again, I teach this in my Awakened Feminine and Awakened Masculine programs.

19:39

And this is where we really start to reignite the passion.

19:45

Now, what is the third blockage that couples experience?

19:49

Um, of course there are more, but um, these three are kind of the, the one

19:54

of the most crucial ones, and one of the most common ones, and the third

19:58

blockage is that we fail to protect our partner from our own shadow.

20:04

If you follow my work for a while, I have attended one, some of my

20:07

workshops, of my trainings, you know how important to apply this, protecting

20:13

your partner from your shadow. So many couples, individuals in the relationship project their wounds

20:18

onto their partner because we do not check in with what bullshit

20:24

are we unloading onto our partner.

20:26

When you take responsibility for that. We need to protect our partner from our mother, from our father wounds,

20:31

from our commitment wounds, from our abandonment, fears, whatever it is we

20:35

need to protect them from our own shadow.

20:38

This doesn't mean you have to be perfectly healed, but what it means is you need to

20:42

be able to communicate with your partner and apologize and take ownership when

20:46

you've come from your shadow, because otherwise you're unloading that onto them.

20:50

And why does that happen? Because we, it is an attempt to shield us from having to take responsibility,

20:56

being held accountable from doing our own work, from taking responsibility

21:00

for any bullshit that we bring into the relationship, and we all

21:03

bring our shit into relationships.

21:05

We all bring our unhealed, unresolved traumas and wounds.

21:08

It's fine. You don't have to be, you don't have to be perfectly healed, but

21:12

you have to be fucking aware. You have to make sure that these things that you bring into a relationship

21:18

don't sabotage the relationship. Don't create the exact opposite of what you actually want to create.

21:25

So the moment you start to protect your partner from your shadow and take

21:29

responsibility for your healing, that is when you start to reignite the passion,

21:35

because the moment you can consciously communicate and take ownership when you're

21:38

in your shadow, when you're coming from a wound, you let them into your heart, you

21:42

build bridges, you reconnect deeper, you understand each other deeper, and then

21:46

you support ultimately each other's the safety of each other's nervous system.

21:50

You support each other's hearts opening.

21:54

I wanna share about my relationship with my wife, Liana.

21:56

So, because we practice all of these things, because that is our main focus,

22:01

prioritizing connection, prioritize that beautiful, wonderful dance of incomes

22:06

that the cures in a union, and taking responsibility for whatever, whatever it

22:10

is that we bring into the relationship that is not gonna contribute, not in

22:14

service to the highest love, not in service to our sacred union, also speaking

22:18

our hearts' truth fiercely, speaking our deepest truth, not letting anything

22:23

unspoken, not letting anything linger.

22:25

This has allowed us to deepen our love, to deepen the polarity and to make us realize

22:31

that it go, can go deeper and deeper. Sometimes we say, Can this go any deeper?

22:36

And then a few months, a few weeks later, it has gone deeper.

22:39

Now, with having said that, this doesn't mean there are not any challenges.

22:43

This doesn't mean we're perfectly enlightened and everything is

22:45

absolutely a hundred percent perfect. Every person, no matter how awake, and no matter how conscious they

22:51

are, no relationship is perfect.

22:54

Simply no relationship is perfect. Why? Eckhart Tolle has this beautiful saying that a relationship is not here to make

23:00

you happy, it is here to awaken you.

23:03

A relationship is in service to the, your highest evolution and not to

23:06

the comfort of your shadow, no matter what level of consciousness you are.

23:11

So even though my wife and I go deeper and deeper into the nature

23:15

of love, this doesn't mean we don't have to overcome obstacles.

23:17

This doesn't mean we don't have to set boundaries, we have to do all of that.

23:21

But because we do that, we can dive deeper into the nature of love.

23:26

And that is the true beauty of it. And that is the positive momentum, because now the more connection you experience,

23:33

the more connected you will feel.

23:36

The deeper the sex and intimacy you experience, the more you're

23:39

going to experience of that. That is the beauty, and that is creating positive momentum, which is

23:44

key in order to reignite the passion. Switching from negative momentum into positive momentum.

23:49

Is that easy? No. Will it take all of you?

23:51

Yes, but that's the journey.

23:55

You're not here to be comfortable in relationships.

23:57

You're here to evolve at the highest level.

24:01

Another thing that is so crucial here is that we need to stop seeing.

24:05

Our relationship as a comfort zone, as I just mentioned, or something

24:09

that allows us to run away to avoid our traumas and wounds.

24:13

No. We need to look at our relationship as our highest spiritual practice, as our highest

24:18

spiritual practice from moment to moment.

24:21

And this also completely shifts and reignites the passion, because we, we

24:25

actively engage in each each moment with an incredible, profound, hard openness,

24:30

hard curiosity, devotion presence.

24:34

It completely changes our energy. Fierceness courage.

24:37

It allows us to really meet every moment with the courage of our heart.

24:42

So I wanted to quickly summarize the several steps I've talked about today, um,

24:47

before I bring today's episode to an end.

24:51

By, in order to reignite the passion, we need to go from negative

24:55

momentum to positive momentum.

24:58

What are the key areas to create that? Number one, learning how to navigate conflict.

25:03

The moment we teach our body and nervous system that we cannot just navigate and

25:07

resolve conflict, but actually understand.

25:10

Each other deeper, learn more about each other afterwards, which translates

25:13

into deeper emotional intimacy, which then translate into deeper physical

25:17

intimacy, that's the first thing.

25:19

What is the second thing? Living from our core energy.

25:23

That means embodying our awakened mask and our awakened feminine essence,

25:27

which means now we are aware of our desires, we can consciously express

25:31

these desires, and we're also aware of our unique energetic responsibility.

25:35

Our 50% in this wonderful dynamic, and, and then also

25:39

what the other person's 50% is. This creates so much clarity.

25:43

And the third one is protecting your partner from your own shadow.

25:47

Because the moment you start to do that, the these three things you can create

25:51

heaven on earth in your relationship.

25:55

This really has the power of transforming absolutely everything.

26:00

Now if you want to step into deeper healing, create the intimate life that

26:05

you truly desire, then I invite you to visit lorinkrenn.com/trainings.

26:11

And I also invite you to join my newsletter, which you can find

26:15

in the show notes or by visiting lorinkrenn.com/newsletters to receive

26:20

in-depth for free powerful emails every single Friday, covering a

26:25

specific theme and also learning more about our upcoming offerings.

26:30

I also do offer free eBooks on our website, which you can

26:34

check out in the show notes or visiting lorinkrenn.com/books.

26:39

If you have enjoyed this episode, if you have gained powerful insights,

26:44

experience shifts from this episode, then it would mean the world to me

26:47

if you can share it with someone whom you feel this would serve you.

26:51

And of course if you shared on your social medias where it even reaches

26:54

more people, that would mean the world to me, because the more people

26:58

we reach, the more impact we can make on the global level of consciousness.

27:02

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27:05

And if you're not subscribed to the podcast yet, I invite you to

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subscribe to the podcast because then every single podcast episode

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will appear and you will be notified. Again, thank you so much for being here.

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I'm truly, truly honored to host this podcast and I'm

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deeply honored to have you here. Have an amazing day.