OVERI got to the world of running, falling, and making decisions not to get up…..It was a life choice to inhibit all things catastrophic and counterproductive.The world ending at my fingertips…Instead of fate procuring the right to denounce reality…Fait simply leads one to the dire end of the rope spiritually.“It was pronounced GEMstones”, she hollered from the sidewalk.Hair tasseled with fragments of the air breathing on her skin.It was the day death rolled through, and pronounced, this is the end.She was petrified as the ambulance rolled her to the hospital…. But relieved that her day was over.I only wanted to sleep.Say goodnight to my son and move on to the emptiness that holds my heart.I wanted to give in and let the world swallow me whole….but I guess…I didn’t fit.The dogs to stop…the children to stop asking…..the men to stop demanding.I just want to be with no obligation…no real need for me but a want.I just want to stop serving a purpose…..and instead fulfill a purpose.Loudly, take over the world and truly make it a better place.A contrived generosity that actually submits to the way of kindness.It will never make sense.She woke up and the entire world was white… except the teal suit that brought so much simplicity and calmness to her life….all of a sudden.‘Where am I?” she yelled out the window covered in plexiglass….There was Ol ’New Orleans….spread out from a far.She cried.Who knew you could travel all the way down to New Orleans just to kill yourself.Who knew that when you put your head out the window….that you really don’t enjoy the wind hitting your face…You know…its easy to get trampled on the inside and a moth appears to let you know there is light…But it its easier to swat it away in the intention of killing it to continue living your life the wrong way.But the disease of death in my mind, followed me 20 years and 12 states…I never thought I would see her again…Never thought I’d be in that damn teal suit again.“But I am.” She said.“Im here.” She said.And with no real intention to change but instead to escape….to run…to leave these truths at the doorstep of memories even father back…She had to rest.Make a decision.“I don’t know if any of this is worth it.”She cried.She cried and cried.It didn’t matter how far I fell or which branch I caught… I just keep falling.I can see the bottom but its like the fall will never stop and the bottom has no ending….And I am scared…and hurt…injuries that remind me why my heart will never stop bleeding.Just one Gigantic open sore to the world.When she got in the car with him….She knew this was all there was left….which was nothing.She found herself in there because of how he had trained her.And she knew it.She felt it in his hug when she finally saw him.He was gone and she was gone.“Ill talk to you later?”“yes.” He said.And he never called back.