0:10

Hello and welcome to this pod episode 11. I'm your host D

0:14

Mitas. Our first story for this episode is the quest giver by

0:17

Joe ProSet. Joe ProSet write sci fi, horror and psycho fiction.

0:22

He has been previously published in Chatwood magazine, the no

0:25

sleep podcast and athletic realm magazine. He lives with his wife

0:29

and kids in the Brainerd Lakes area of northern Minnesota. If

0:33

you're an adept stalker, and you can find him at one of the many

0:35

lakes and rivers or lost deep inside the Great North Woods, or

0:40

you can just find them on the internet at Joe proz.com or on

0:43

Twitter at Joe ProSet. Helping me tell this tale we have a full

0:48

cast, starting with Elijah Moore, an actor based out of

0:52

Chapel Hill, North Carolina he can currently be seen on CW is

0:55

legacies. He likes puzzles long walks on the beach and treating

0:59

podcast BIOS as his own personal dating site. Mandy Wong, a Japan

1:03

based voice actor who specializes in character voice

1:06

work. She loves collaborating with creatives to help bring

1:09

their stories to life. We're not behind the mic, she can be found

1:12

with her nose in a novel going on a foodie travel adventure or

1:15

fawning over fluffy bees. You can also hear her as Melissa

1:18

inside fictions casual magics Michael Blakey, voice actor,

1:24

musician, human, he writes songs and brings messages to life with

1:28

his voice, and Missouri boy who wants the people the world to

1:31

just be nicer to each other. Angelo Toledo a 20 Something

1:35

voice actor undergoing college for the second time, he's also

1:38

the author of a poetry book titled binding blindness. Lila

1:42

metus. My daughter and co host of me this media is new show Fun

1:45

Fact Friday, coming soon to a podcatcher near you. And last

1:48

but not least, we have XMRV Chris, all of our actors and

1:51

authors links will be in the show notes without further ado,

1:55

the quest giver by Joe ProSet.

2:09

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this. The kid and he was just a

2:16

kid, too young to be called a man looked funny had the long

2:20

steel blade resting in my open poems. What is it? Now the head

2:24

for smart's this one? He had an unblemished face and youthful

2:28

beauty. All his days spent maturing and none aging. Oh yes,

2:35

he was going to need a weapon where he was going. The Last

2:39

Blade handcrafted by Master swordsmith Masamune at his forge

2:43

high atop the mountains of mist careful. Its honed to a razor's

2:49

edge in case the monsters have thick hides thick hides.

2:55

Listen, mister, I'm not hacking at anybody when those sword

2:58

so petulant, so certain of his purpose in the world, or rather,

3:04

lack thereof. Apparently, I needed to speak more slowly. You

3:11

clearly don't have a handle on the situation in which you find

3:16

yourself. I said. It's dangerous to go alone.

3:22

Nah, no, thanks, man. I think you're dangerous.

3:25

He said Well stepping away. When he had backed far enough to bump

3:29

into the glass door of the pawn shop. He smirked later weirdo

3:33

and then pushed open the door slipped out and was gone. Yes.

3:39

I'll be seeing you again shortly. When the boy left the

3:44

pawn shop fell quiet once again. Ambient Music blinked on Twain

3:49

from invisible speakers only audible when everything else was

3:52

not. I sighed and slipped the sword rack under the counter.

3:58

He'd be back. May came here to hock car stereos and buy used

4:04

guitars that would make them stars and their dreams but in

4:07

reality would sit unpracticed in the corners of their rooms. They

4:12

came in with petty desires and unmotivated dreams but left with

4:17

so much more. I have to admit when the phone rang, It startled

4:23

me, if only for a moment. Only after I answered that I realize

4:29

how boring this conversation would be. Merrill how good to

4:36

hear from you. I said after recognizing His voice. He droned

4:42

on with his usual complaints and threats never changing his tune

4:46

this one. Of course you're always welcome in my humble

4:50

place of business come down any time. His voice continued even

4:56

as I pulled the receiver away from my ear and didn't stop

5:00

until I set it back in his cradle. Merrill believed nothing

5:04

in life was more important than his rules and regulations. My

5:09

time was best spent on other things. And speaking of the

5:16

front doors, electric chime, Bing Bing Bong, and another

5:19

character entered the pawn shop. This one was a girl, big hair,

5:24

vapid smile short skirt, a suit coat with big shoulder pads. She

5:31

strolled to the center of the pawn shop like a models runway.

5:35

She stopped in the middle of all of the used electronics and old

5:39

romance novels tossed her hair and winked at me. I nodded back.

5:47

She showed no reaction. A few seconds later, she tossed her

5:51

hair again, flipping it back with her fingers and followed it

5:55

with another wing. A non player character, cliched, but on cue.

6:03

And just as timely, another unwitting hero appeared to the

6:07

front door. This one also a girl but not so designed and

6:12

polished. This one more soaked in her own idiosyncrasies her

6:17

hair undone shoes untied eyes she kept to herself and cast

6:23

downward whenever not stealing glances sideways. She wore

6:27

enough black to be a villain, but I knew better. She moved to

6:31

a selection of old DSL cameras and lenses. The non player

6:36

character did her best just show the new girl how well she could

6:39

flip her hair and wink. The girl by the cameras didn't notice.

6:44

But when the three oversized brutes shoved their way through

6:49

the door, their crunching footsteps drowning out the Bing

6:53

Bong Bell. The girl by the cameras looked up. Perhaps she

6:59

had potential after all. The three brutes ignored her and

7:04

moved to the winker and hair flipper. One quick uppercut to

7:08

the gut and she crumbled over. The mute brute caught her before

7:13

she had a chance to fall to the linoleum. He slung her over his

7:17

wide muscular shoulders like a sack of potatoes. And once they

7:22

had her, the three about phased and stretch it back out the door

7:27

having not said a word. The girl by the cameras her eyes wide and

7:32

alert now stabbed out from under the overhanging bangs. Her back

7:38

pressed against the shelves, Jesus Christ. She said as soon

7:42

as the non player characters were gone. Quick. They've taken

7:46

the mayor's daughter. I said to her, the girl said to me,

7:50

aren't you going to call the cops after them? They have the mayor's daughter, I said,

7:56

emoting as much as I could forget that old man and calling the cops and getting the hell

8:01

out of here, she said, dug out her cell phone and fled to the exit. I watched her go

8:07

out the door and check up and down the sidewalk. She took a

8:11

step in the opposite direction of the brutes and kidnapped

8:14

girl, then doubled back and broke into a sprint after them.

8:20

The boy who would go alone to dangerous places, nearly knocked

8:25

into her as he came back into the pawn shop. His face was

8:30

pale, his eyes electric, how much he hurried me how much for

8:36

the sword, as if the weapon had never left my hands. I raised my

8:40

palms above the counter and displayed masa moons last work

8:44

of art to the boy. It's dangerous to go alone. Take

8:49

this. Yeah, you said it. How much?

8:52

No charge, but do not dawdle adventure awaits. I told him,

8:58

and this time he listened. The boy snatched the blade and held

9:03

it aloft for just one frozen moment. From the measure of

9:07

still time, the steel emitted an unearthly gleam, and sung like a

9:11

tight violin string. When the moment had passed, he looked

9:15

only slightly more bewildered than he had been when he first

9:19

returned to the shop. But he didn't let that second of

9:23

sentience betrayal distract him. He brought the hilt of the

9:28

weapon down to his solar plexus. Thanks, old man, the boy said

9:34

and rushed out the door. Another satisfied customer. He was

9:41

barely out the door when Merrill entered. Merrill, the

9:47

bureaucrat, tall plain faced dull hair, and somehow boring

9:55

and featureless black trench coat and dark sunglasses and

9:59

appear Since that was almost a non appearance, a man you only

10:04

thought you saw. He approached the counter with confidence in

10:09

the smirk that crawled under my skin. Hello Merrill. Behind him,

10:14

the door being bombed and another unknowing adventure came

10:18

closer to his destiny. A teenage boy. Not from the city. flannel

10:24

and jeans long uncombed hair.

10:26

Hello, adore rich. Up to your old tricks again. I

10:30

see Merrill said tricks what tricks I asked behind Merrill a

10:36

TV popped to life right in front of the Biff landlord youth, his

10:41

eyes locked on the screen. In an instant he forgot whatever

10:44

trivialities had occupied his life before this fateful moment.

10:49

The entire width of the 42 inch monitor was consumed by the

10:53

image of sky Admiral Angus cloud cleaver.

10:59

Red alert, Red Alert, the evil dinky crowds have invaded the

11:03

galactic colonies, all pilots that are starfighter. This means

11:08

you just outside the bounds of light came down and shown on a plastic

11:15

quarter operated amusement ride molded in the shape of a rocket

11:19

ship. What tricks mineral turned from the boy in his Starfighter

11:23

to me? Come on at all rich. Do we really have to play this game?

11:29

My eyes were still in the boy whose eyes were flashing between

11:33

the ride the TV and the two of us at the counter. The TV was

11:37

looping its message over and over again now. short blasts of

11:42

static between each of the sky admirals alerts when I caught

11:46

the boy's eyes, chin in the direction of the amusement ride,

11:51

encouraging him on. They all needed an extra push from time

11:56

to time. A door edge,

11:59

Merrill, we both know that I'm too old to change my ways. I've

12:05

been around this globe for too long. I'm not like these brave

12:09

hearted souls that come to me. They're just beginning their

12:12

journeys that will shape and develop them me. I've had my

12:16

Ark. I've fixed my beliefs.

12:20

Stop. You've been warned. reprimanded fined and

12:24

sanctioned. The next step is to shut you down and bring you in.

12:29

Is that what you want? blather rings I've heard it all before and none of it interested

12:35

me. My eyes were still in the boy and waited for his decision.

12:41

When I saw his confusion, beat out his curiosity and drive his

12:45

feet through the door and away from the quarter operated

12:48

amusement ride. My shoulder slouched inside Why are you here

12:54

Meryl? Haven't you been listening to a word I've said? I'm here to shut

12:59

you down a doll rich. I promised the council that come here and

13:02

find you abiding by the terms of your probation that you learned

13:06

your lesson that you only issue about adventure by the approved

13:09

means. books, movies, stories planted inside their minds by

13:13

hypnotic suggestion. You know how the rest of us do it. But

13:18

here you are quest giving again like a bearded old wizard they

13:22

need it was all I said all I felt I needed to say

13:27

it's dangerous a doll rich. There's a boy out there swinging

13:31

a katana at ravenous monsters in the street. Right outside your

13:34

store. I leaned an ear towards the front of the shop. Of course

13:40

there was the quiet ambient sounds of guitars, guitars and

13:44

shamisen playing peaceful in the store but now that he mentioned

13:48

it I did hear the distant sounds of screams of growling beast

13:52

clanging of steel in the wind police sirens in the distance a

13:56

shrug? Someone had to kill those monsters

14:00

$1 Rich there were no monsters until you issued them out. Just

14:04

like there were no kidnap mayor's daughters and no

14:07

invading Zika cones until you created them. You're causing all

14:11

this and a lot of people are noticing

14:14

sometimes I create evil for them to defeat sometimes I send them

14:19

against pre existing evil so what I shrugged

14:22

So what So last time I brought you in you signed an affidavit

14:26

specifically stating you'd stop creating real life dangers for

14:29

susceptible frail humans like these wonders and vagabonds come

14:31

strolling through your door. Fiction adore rich. You signed

14:36

the affidavit swearing you were going to stick with fiction. And

14:39

now I come here to see this nonsense. And there's no way I

14:42

can hide this. No way I can cover it up or brushed under the

14:45

rug. You he stopped. What?

14:48

I held up a finger long and thin of flesh but thick of knuckle.

14:54

What is that supposed to mean? It means nothing but I have to

14:59

correct You the term you're looking for is heroes.

15:05

Heroes. When did I ever say anything about

15:10

susceptible, frail humans? Wonders, vagabonds, that's what

15:16

you called them. But the term you're looking for, is here

15:22

rows. Behind Merrill's back, the young man in the flannel crept

15:28

back into view. Just outside the glass storefront, he on the

15:33

left, the quarter operated Starfighter on the right. Ever

15:38

so slowly, he stepped closer to the fighter.

15:42

And what happens when one of your heroes gets killed?

15:46

I didn't mean to roll my eyes. It was just this was so

15:50

tiresome. I give them extra lives Merrill. Frustrated, he

15:56

tried another attack from another front.

16:01

They didn't ask for you to interfere in the life they had.

16:05

They come in the shop to look for a cheap deal to make a few

16:08

quick bucks to waste time to sift through the debris of other

16:11

safe terrestrial lives. Not to be sent on some wild goose chase

16:16

by a crazed old man and you approve of that sort of life. I took my eyes off the

16:22

youth outside and fix them on marrow of common lives lived

16:28

commonly of time wasted looking for cheap deals or swapping

16:33

stolen goods for worthless paper money. If that's what you'd like

16:37

for yourself, I have all the money you can carry. I popped

16:41

open the register and began shoveling Dollars and Euros and

16:45

pesos and denarii and yen out onto the counter. Here. Take it

16:51

if this is what our lives amount to I should consider mind

16:54

fulfilled. And you should consider yourself lucky to have

16:58

come in today. Quit that adore rich. Quit. Quit this money.

17:04

Merrill shoved all the bills mounting on the counter. I kept

17:08

shoveling some of it spilled over onto the floor some of it

17:12

he managed to grab and throw back at me stop this insanity right now.

17:17

I slammed my fist through the money and against the display

17:20

case. Before my fist met glass every scrap of money vanished

17:25

from the floor to counter to register and pushing by currency

17:29

the glass cracked my eyes locked on Merrill's this world has been

17:35

without true adventurers for too long and you know it. It is

17:39

decaying their souls they lumber about with no mission or purpose

17:45

without pride or perspective. They are gorged with money and

17:50

wealth and peace and pacified by poor electronic simulations. But

17:55

they have never tasted the one food that will truly make them

17:59

whole the meal that will feed their spirits and banish the

18:03

likes of you back from whence you came. They have never tasted

18:07

true adventure. And they never will. Not while I'm here. There's a cost to the

18:14

product you sell. And it's got nothing to do with money. Pain,

18:19

misery, destruction, loss of life. You call them out of the

18:23

norm like the crooked pawnbroker you pretend to be. You think

18:27

you're so noble but look around. You think it's all a fast Sade.

18:31

But this is exactly who you are. An old man hocking broken goods

18:35

to broken people. So leave me be I enjoy being this old man Hawking these old

18:41

ideas of danger and far off destinations. If I'm an obsolete

18:46

relic of time long forgotten, then forget me. Leave me to the

18:51

waistband of legend. And what about this,

18:55

Meryl half turned and stretched a poem out to the youth of the

18:58

Starfighter, the boy climbed inside. And as he did, the craft

19:03

grew around him. A poly Carbon Alloy airframe unsheath around

19:10

the plastic molding of the child's ride. A canopy

19:14

highlighted with laser green electronic readout slide over

19:18

his head and sealed him inside. He strapped into the flight

19:22

harness and began flicking switches like he was born to

19:25

fight the Ziqi Crohns thrusters fired and rumbled to life

19:30

against the sidewalk. Launch in t minus five.

19:36

What am I supposed to do about this?

19:40

Nothing for we're clear of the blast area free but I would

19:45

avert your eyes to the ion thrusters are rather bright one.

19:53

Smoke consumed the star fighter a moment before it punched

19:57

spaceward and out of the atmosphere in On supernova

20:01

bright flash, we were left deafened by the roar and blinded

20:05

by the blaze. The exhaust cloud choked to the entire street and

20:09

blocked any view beyond the shop windows.

20:14

That's it. It's alright, that's the last straw. Merrill pointed

20:17

a finger at me. We've known each other for a long time, and I've

20:21

given you more than ample opportunity to change your ways.

20:24

But you've worn out my patience. I'm taking you in the

20:27

cloud outside the shop was slow to dissipate. It hung there like

20:32

a thick fog in through it. For short, humanoid shapes began to

20:37

take form. Okay, I'll go quietly. I said to Meryl stuck

20:44

out both wrists ready to be cuffed. But before we go, answer

20:51

me this. Do you really think I'm the only one who still has a

20:57

taste for pitfalls and perilous journeys, for heroism? For

21:03

adventure? Do you really think I'm the last quest giver?

21:11

Don't be so proud of yourself. Your kind are a dime a dozen.

21:16

Merrill said and went about fishing handcuffs out of his

21:19

back pocket. He slapped one cuff on to a wrist. And who do you

21:24

think us quest givers sin our adventurers out to protect?

21:29

Don't you think we have each other's backs? Who Merrill down

21:35

here on this terrestrial plane as your back the pawn shop door

21:41

being inbound Merrill turned. The cloud had been enough to

21:47

show us for young human silhouettes and the familiar

21:50

outline of BMX bikes leaning against the windows. As the

21:56

first boy entered smoke from the ion thrusters rolled in with him

22:01

and his crew. Another boy followed he with a flashlight

22:05

and bandana tied around his head. The third member was a

22:09

girl with a ponytail and a slingshot at arm's length. The

22:14

fourth held an ancient time yellowed map.

22:18

Yes, sure this is the right place. The first boy said.

22:22

I'm sure the mat leads right here.

22:25

The last answered his eyes never leaving the sand colored sheet

22:29

of parchment to the lair of the man in black flashlight boy said

22:34

slingshot girls stepped around him and pulled the rubber bands

22:39

of her weapon taught. We've come a long ways for you Meryl. We're gonna send you back

22:44

from whence you came

22:46

down to see Merrill. I smiled at him. I just send out the call to

22:52

adventure. They're the ones who answered

23:07

our second story the new God comes to us from lol Asher lol

23:13

Asher lives in Dallas, Georgia and works in quality assurance

23:16

at a large blood donation manufacturer. lol is a member of

23:19

Sigma Tau Delta and has published short stories with

23:22

money Zimba House Publishing bewildering stories cast about

23:26

art and literature the Raven Chronicles, Blue Moon rising

23:30

things in the wall Fantasia divining publishing bending

23:33

genres writers club and the Signet ll has a bachelor's

23:37

degree in psychology and is currently working on a second

23:39

degree in English with a concentration in writing.

23:42

Helping me tell this tale or Nicole Good night voice actor

23:46

Narrator forever locked away the no sleep podcast dungeon. She

23:50

does speed runs of The Lion King for Super Nintendo and Genesis

23:53

over on Twitch, Mandy Wong who was also in our first story.

23:57

Thanks Mandy for pulling double duty on this episode Phaedra

24:00

metus my amazing wife of 16 years and we've never had a

24:04

fight without further ado, the new God by L L Asher.

24:22

Not today mom Octavia isn't

24:24

well Antonia said into the phone as she bounced her crying

24:27

daughter constipated. I think tinting worships important, dear. It's not just

24:33

12 Gods anymore. My mother's voice said through Antonia's earpiece. You need to

24:37

praise all 85 of them. Baby Octavia needs all their

24:41

blessings. There's 97 now and don't worry, I downloaded the worship now app

24:46

and sacrifice lamps for about half this week. My paycheck will

24:49

have to clear before I can afford sacrifice anymore.

24:51

She turned on the TV setting her groaning baby on the floor. Her

24:55

phone buzzed and she glanced at the notifications

24:58

blessings received vanguard of health six blessings received

25:03

from God of love three.

25:06

Welcome to Channel Two Roman news

25:08

reporter said from the television, sitting next to a

25:11

man four times her size, he held a great platter, his skin

25:16

glittering and casting golden light across the reporter's

25:20

face. I'm here with the newest Roman god Raha thanks so much for

25:24

joining us. God flicked the grape into the air and caught it in his mouth.

25:29

Antonius phone buzzed with another notification.

25:32

New God added. Mr. Rohit, if I may ask. We've seen quite an

25:38

influx of Gods over the past few decades. How does one become a

25:42

god? And how is it decided what you'll be God

25:46

lifted an eyebrow? If none of the others told you he erupted

25:50

into a roaring fit of laughter shit. He slapped his thigh

25:54

laughing harder. The reporter looked at the camera with a half

25:58

smile. You know what? I don't give a shit. I'll tell you.

26:03

Where Martians Antonia dropped her phone. Yeah, he nodded dead

26:09

ones. When we die. We become the gods of the other worlds.

26:15

Actual Martians from Mars.

26:18

dead aliens yet baru. He popped another grave. Wait. Antonia

26:25

leaned forward, squinting at the screen. Those are prunes. We're

26:31

going through a mass extinction. Hence the influx.

26:39

But Mars is void of life.

26:43

The reporter said she looked off camera and mouth, right? It's a

26:49

time continuum thing. Humans are too stupid to understand. But

26:54

really the Olympus Mons on Mars the peak of the solar system, he

27:01

tapped the top of the reporter's head with his glimmering index

27:04

finger. We live on Mount Olympus connect the dots. The reporter

27:11

glanced at her notes. Let's move on. How does the divine power work?

27:17

Raha clear his throat? The way we died? contributes the

27:23

reporter's face contorted. So you

27:27

died and boop Yes. drowned in it an unforeseen sewage mishap.

27:33

Rojas eyes drifted quite painful. Antonia grimaced, then

27:39

looked at Octavia screaming red face. She picked up her phone

27:43

and click the notification. real hot god of fecal excrement added to list of Roman gods

27:51

would you like to send a sacrifice? Octavia screamed her face turning purple Antonia selected

27:58

to sacrifice a pig and then tap Submit. rihards eyes snapped to

28:04

the screen. Octavia giggled, and a stench plume around Antonia as

28:11

her daughter's diaper filled with squishy heat.

28:26

As mentioned earlier, meet US media has a new show coming

28:28

soon. Fun Fact Friday is the brainchild of my child. Lila

28:33

wanted to make a show where we tell fun facts about various

28:35

topics and discuss them there will be an accompanying blog and

28:39

new episodes will be released each Friday starting Friday, May

28:42

22 2020 Our theme music comes to us from odd Sprite, you can

28:47

catch more of their work at odd sprite.com If you're interested

28:50

in supporting the show, just head over to me this pod.com and

28:52

click the donations link. All money goes to making the show

28:55

better. Me this pod is released under a Creative Commons

28:58

Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. That means

29:01

you can share it all you like just don't change it or sell it.

29:04

We'll see you next time folks. Have a good one.