0:02

All right, welcome to the mirror forge podcast, I'm excited to have my

0:03

guest today, Byron Morrison, He

0:09

is an author of an upcoming book

0:09

called, maybe you should give up

0:13

seven ways to get out of your

0:13

own way and take control of your

0:17

life. I'm really excited about

0:17

what Byron is doing. Because I

0:24

mean, we have a lot of similar

0:24

space, but he's just helping

0:27

men, especially in leadership

0:27

roles lead, others better take

0:30

control of their life. And so

0:30

Byron, I'm excited to have you

0:32

on.

0:33

I'm really excited to be here. Thanks for having me here today.

0:36

Absolutely.

0:36

Well, I saw this as your third

0:39

book, you know, and I'm always

0:39

curious to ask authors, you

0:43

know, what do they enjoy most

0:43

about writing and writing? Or?

0:48

Or what's the most exciting part

0:48

about writing a book, but your

0:51

title stands out? So clearly?

0:51

And I'm so I'm really I mean,

0:56

I'm curious about my first

0:56

question. But my second would

0:58

be, you know, what made you come

0:58

up with that title.

1:03

I'll start with the

1:03

title as an onset, because for

1:05

me, I really wanted something

1:05

that grabs your attention

1:07

straightaway. And when you look

1:07

at the self help and personal

1:10

development world, the whole

1:10

messaging is that never quit and

1:13

keep pushing and keep trying.

1:13

And so many people get stuck in

1:16

the state of mind where they

1:16

feel like they have to have to

1:18

keep moving forward, even if

1:18

it's not working. Whereas if you

1:21

look at some of the most successful people of all time, they quit constantly, they give

1:24

up on ideas that are working,

1:27

they give up on strategies that

1:27

are not producing results, they

1:30

give up on their fears, their

1:30

reasons why it can't be done.

1:33

And I was while I was going through our journey, I discovered that giving up is

1:35

actually the secret for success.

1:38

Because when you give up on the

1:38

things holding you back, that's

1:40

when you can move forward. So

1:40

the book, the reason why I

1:43

designed in, the way it's come

1:43

out is it's meant to sound

1:45

negative, it's meant to be

1:45

counterintuitive to all the

1:48

other advice out there. But then

1:48

actually, the book is about

1:51

positivity. It's about giving up

1:51

on everything that is holding

1:54

you back from living a happier

1:54

life and reaching your

1:57

potential. So as for your first

1:57

question, though, yeah, writing

2:02

for me, it's just as a really

2:02

creative way to communicate

2:05

ideas. I've always loved the

2:05

idea of just writing and kind of

2:09

sharing knowledge and just

2:09

really breaking down everything

2:12

from my own journey to what I've

2:12

learned with clients, and now

2:15

working with people in 15

2:15

different countries, and it's

2:17

just a way that you can reach

2:17

people on a mass market scale,

2:21

you can just take your words and

2:21

ideas and break it down that

2:23

people can learn from them or

2:23

apply to their life in ways that

2:26

you otherwise wouldn't be able to reach them.

2:28

Yeah, yeah,

2:28

it really is. I mean, there's

2:31

just some content is has so many

2:31

different ways to be fleshed

2:35

out. But there's still the book

2:35

part where you can really it is

2:38

the ultimate long form, hate.

2:38

Sometimes we talk about long

2:42

form being podcast or, you know,

2:42

long interviews, but really, it

2:46

is still to get a true deep

2:46

thought out. It's in a book. So

2:49

that's really cool. So Byron, I

2:49

mean, you know, you talk about

2:54

your bio, you're very honest,

2:54

and your bio. And so if you're

2:57

if you're listening right now, I

2:57

recommend I have the bio,

3:00

actually in the show notes. So

3:00

you can look at Byron's bio. And

3:04

and I really appreciate your

3:04

honesty, because this is what a

3:07

parrallel love this, this

3:07

podcast and this platform that

3:11

there is so much about life

3:11

that's forging us into, we're

3:14

never finished product. It's I'm

3:14

always curious about people's

3:18

stories and what they've been

3:18

through that's made them in who

3:20

they are and why they're doing

3:20

what they're doing. So I'd love

3:24

to just hear a little bit more

3:24

of your background. And I know

3:28

you're not originally from UK,

3:28

but that's where you're coming

3:30

from right now. So I would

3:30

curious, yeah, what, what part

3:34

of your childhood or your

3:34

upbringing that really is shaped

3:37

you into who you are today.

3:40

So probably the one big

3:40

life event that had the greatest

3:43

impact on my life was when my

3:43

dad got cancer. He ended up

3:49

having most of his bowel

3:49

surgically removed, he spent 25

3:52

days in ICU, mostly on life

3:52

support and breathing to

3:55

tracheotomy, and luckily pulled

3:55

through, which has been I'm

3:58

eternally grateful for but that

3:58

experience was a big turning

4:01

point for me that I realized I

4:01

need to do something about my

4:04

own life. At the time I was

4:04

overweight, I was stuck in a job

4:07

that was killing me. I had no

4:07

confidence and it was burnt out.

4:11

And just really, to be honest,

4:11

just stuck. And I just knew

4:14

something had to change. And I'd

4:14

love to say that this was the

4:17

big wake up call that suddenly

4:17

from the next day, everything

4:20

magically got better. But I knew

4:20

at that point what I needed to

4:23

do, I knew I needed to get my

4:23

health on track. I knew I needed

4:26

to get out of my professional

4:26

situation. But despite that I

4:29

was my own worst enemy. I'd seem

4:29

to constantly sabotage

4:32

everything from my health to my

4:32

relationships, my professional

4:35

success, and I just reached the

4:35

point that I realized, you know

4:38

what, I'm getting in my own way

4:38

here. Something I'm doing is

4:42

sabotaging my success. And I'd

4:42

really do some self awareness,

4:46

journey and introspection to

4:46

really figure out why am I

4:48

actually doing this? And I was

4:48

really well I need to take a

4:51

step back and figure out okay,

4:51

what's going on here that's

4:54

stopping me from moving forward.

4:54

And once I could get out of my

4:57

own head, I could finally start

4:57

making changes. Where I lost the

5:01

weight I got out of the job that

5:01

was killing me, I actually found

5:04

happiness in myself and really

5:04

turned my life around. As I went

5:08

through my own kind of path of

5:08

transformation, and then got to

5:10

a point where I wanted to start

5:10

helping other people, I saw so

5:13

many other people were

5:13

struggling in the same way. They

5:15

knew what they should be doing.

5:15

But they'd sabotage it, they'd

5:18

mess up, they get stuck in their

5:18

own head. And that's like, my

5:21

message and focus for last 10

5:21

years has really been about

5:24

helping people break through

5:24

those mental blocks that are

5:27

keeping them stuck. These,

5:27

whether it's been young

5:30

entrepreneurs, to corporate

5:30

professionals to being CEOs

5:33

running billion dollar

5:33

companies, I find we all have

5:35

that tendency to be our own

5:35

worst enemy. Where we overthink,

5:38

we procrastinate, we doubt

5:38

ourselves, we avoid the things

5:41

we know we need to do. It's

5:41

something it's such a universal

5:44

relate to topic that every

5:44

single one of us struggles with

5:47

in one way or another.

5:49

Yeah. And so

5:49

what? Yeah, what would you say?

5:53

Is that step one for you? Well,

5:53

you know, the the wake up call,

5:57

and then it led to the decision,

5:57

like you said, you there's

6:00

multiple things that you know,

6:00

you needed to lose weight, and

6:02

you need to take more control

6:02

your life, like, what was that

6:05

thing to really get you going.

6:05

And really, that's step one that

6:09

you need that decision you made.

6:11

So the first one was

6:11

getting in shape. And it's

6:14

fascinating to me, growing up as

6:14

an immigrant into the UK, I'm

6:19

originally from South Africa,

6:19

like when I came into the

6:21

country, I never really fit it

6:21

in. And I was always a little

6:23

bit of an outsider. And even at

6:23

school, I had never really kind

6:27

of fit in or got in on their

6:27

own. And I kind of viewed

6:30

fitness is one thing that I

6:30

hated. Like when it came to

6:32

physical education, I'd like I

6:32

did not like sport, I did not

6:35

want to be in the gym, I was

6:35

sort of something that was for

6:39

people that weren't like me that

6:39

I didn't want to be like, so I

6:42

completely wrote off that area

6:42

of my life. So it's such an

6:45

internal resistance to actually

6:45

doing something active. And so

6:49

that was such a big mental

6:49

roadblock, where for years, I

6:52

didn't want to step foot in a

6:52

gym. And then when I finally

6:54

overcame that, I found that

6:54

actually I really enjoyed it.

6:57

And it was something that I went

6:57

from dreading to wanting to do

7:00

on a regular basis. But then as

7:00

I start getting to it, like

7:04

anyone who's ever been on a diet

7:04

or tried to get healthy, I'm

7:06

sure you know what it's like,

7:06

when you take one step forward,

7:09

and two steps back, I just

7:09

constantly would make some

7:12

progress, I'd fall off track and

7:12

make some progress for off

7:15

track. And eventually, I just

7:15

got so frustrated, I was like

7:17

there has to be a better way, I

7:17

kept trying the same thing over

7:20

and over again, it wasn't

7:20

working. So I became a student

7:23

of everything from nutrition to

7:23

how to exercise to changing

7:27

behaviors. And the more I

7:27

learned, the more I found that

7:29

that's actually where my passion

7:29

was. So once I actually

7:33

discovered how does your body

7:33

work? How does your brain think

7:35

how your habits formed, I could

7:35

change the way I did it. And

7:38

that went into the foundation of

7:38

my first book. So it was very

7:42

much a snowball effect. Just

7:42

like one simple thing of just

7:45

pushing myself to face that fast

7:45

workout. getting over that fear

7:49

led me to everything that I'm doing today.

7:51

Yeah, yeah,

7:51

you mentioned that the truth,

7:55

your truth about fear. Why is

7:55

fear such a has such a hold on

8:01

people's lives, and really

8:01

keeping them from where they

8:05

really want to be or who they

8:05

think they should be? And all

8:08

that.

8:10

It's all about that

8:10

story in your head, or the way

8:12

our brains are wired. It's all

8:12

about survival. Your unconscious

8:16

mind wants to keep you where you

8:16

are, because it feels safe

8:19

wishes, your goals, your dreams,

8:19

your aspirations, the person you

8:22

want to become. All of that is

8:22

new, Mini, it's an inherent

8:25

risk. And that's why your brain

8:25

fills your head with all of

8:28

these sabotaging doubts and

8:28

fears and negative thoughts. And

8:31

a lot of the time we build it up

8:31

in our head to be this huge

8:34

catastrophe was actually it's

8:34

not that bad. It's like, How

8:37

many times have you wanted to

8:37

try something, you think it's

8:39

gonna be this huge ordeal. And

8:39

in the end, it's actually not a

8:42

big deal, right? This is why for

8:42

so many of us, we get stuck in

8:45

fear, because we build it up as

8:45

the end of the world, convincing

8:48

ourselves that it's gonna fall

8:48

apart or it's not possible. So

8:51

we just go and go for it. And

8:51

this is why for me, it's all

8:54

about understanding and

8:54

reframing fear. And the way I

8:58

like to do it myself, it's all

8:58

about looking to the end of your

9:00

life. Because the harsh reality

9:00

is, so many people are going to

9:03

wake up at 65. They're going to

9:03

look back the life that they

9:06

could have lived and the chances

9:06

they didn't take. And they're

9:09

going to be thinking what if,

9:09

and that's why for me, what

9:11

scares me far more than failure

9:11

than rejection than not getting

9:15

it right, is regret. And when we

9:15

can tip the scale in the other

9:19

direction, we can stop fearing

9:19

God actually going for it and

9:24

regretting the things we didn't

9:24

do far more than failure or

9:27

rejection, then the entire game

9:27

changes, then it becomes far

9:30

more painful not to go for it

9:30

than it does to face it. And

9:34

when you start breaking down

9:34

those fears and moving through

9:36

it, suddenly it becomes easier

9:36

to move forward. Yeah,

9:39

that's good.

9:39

So how do you know I 100% I'm

9:42

with you. I mean, there was for

9:42

many years, I've told that story

9:45

in my head for years, you know,

9:45

not good enough. Why should I

9:49

try? I'm just going to fail. You

9:49

know how so for my listeners out

9:53

there that feel like they have

9:53

that story? You know what, what

9:57

was the story that you told in

9:57

your head and into how did you

10:01

rewire it?

10:03

There was so many

10:03

different stories from, I'm not

10:05

good enough, it's not gonna

10:05

work, I'm never gonna make it.

10:08

But for me the big story

10:08

reframing is whenever you start

10:12

going into a negative state of

10:12

mind, you have to stop and ask

10:15

yourself, do I know this for

10:15

certain? Or is it just a story?

10:18

I'm telling myself. And if it's

10:18

just a story, you have to take a

10:21

step back and think about oh,

10:21

how else could this turn out?

10:23

What if it goes right? Or if you

10:23

had great results? What if it

10:27

actually isn't so bad, even if

10:27

it doesn't all fall apart? Is it

10:30

really that big of a deal,

10:30

because a lot of the times you

10:33

can convince yourself that if

10:33

you fail, it's a huge

10:35

catastrophe was actually, it's a

10:35

minor inconvenience invest. And

10:40

it's just when you can start

10:40

reframing those fears to become

10:42

so much easier to deal with. But

10:42

the other side of those where I

10:45

was part of the reason why we

10:45

get stuck in fear, if we're

10:48

focusing too far into the

10:48

future, like, if you've got a

10:50

big goal, let's say you want to

10:50

build this amazing business, or

10:53

you want to run a marathon, or

10:53

you want to do something that's

10:56

this huge venture, that is

10:56

pretty overwhelming. Like it can

10:59

be incredibly daunting to think,

10:59

think about what you want to

11:02

accomplish. And that for a lot

11:02

of people can keep them

11:04

paralyzed. And that's why I'm a

11:04

big advocate of Yes, have that

11:07

big vision and that big goal,

11:07

but break it down. Rather than

11:11

focusing on Step five, what is

11:11

the first thing you need to do,

11:14

just use a really easy health

11:14

example, which we can all relate

11:17

like, if you want to run a

11:17

marathon, that seems like

11:19

something you just can't even

11:19

comprehend. If you're just

11:22

getting in shape, the first step

11:22

could be going for a jog.

11:26

Suddenly, in comparison, it

11:26

doesn't seem so bad. You start

11:28

with the jog, you build up, you

11:28

increase over time. And after

11:31

for six, eight weeks, you have

11:31

made all of this progress, and a

11:34

word of felt the bad, bad. And

11:34

so same thinking when it's

11:37

building your business,

11:37

advancing your career, whatever

11:39

it is, start small focus on

11:39

gradual steps. And that's how

11:43

you build your confidence and

11:43

momentum. And you'll overcome

11:46

the fears that are on the way.

11:48

Man, that's

11:48

good. Yeah. Man, it's

11:52

fascinating. So I'm just curious

11:52

and getting in your book, you

11:56

did put seven ways to get out of

11:56

your own way. And you may have

12:00

already mentioned number one,

12:00

you know, what was one that you

12:03

really wanted to your readers? I

12:03

mean, obviously, what's number

12:08

one? What is the first thing you

12:08

wanted to grab your readers that

12:10

say, like, start here, start

12:10

with number this seven ways?

12:14

What was What's number one.

12:16

So the first one is

12:16

reacting to the world around

12:18

you. Because most of us, we

12:18

spend our life in a state of

12:21

reaction, well, life happens,

12:21

emotions take over. And a lot of

12:25

the time will then not handle

12:25

situations, it's the best

12:27

version of ourselves. And that's

12:27

why ultimately, there's a huge

12:30

difference between a reaction

12:30

and a response. A reaction is on

12:34

pulse impulsive and driven by

12:34

emotion, whereas the response is

12:37

calculated and controlled. And

12:37

that's why you're never going to

12:41

should be able to show up as the

12:41

best version of yourself with

12:43

always reacting and dealing on

12:43

emotion. So it's about getting

12:46

you to slow down to actually

12:46

process problems to understand

12:50

where you're coming from, and

12:50

then choose how you respond to

12:52

it. When you can start creating

12:52

that shift. That's how you can

12:55

see that actually, even though

12:55

you can never be in complete

12:58

control of what's going on

12:58

around you, when you can always

13:00

control the way that you show up

13:00

and deal with it. That's how you

13:03

can become unstoppable. That's

13:03

how you can have that mindset

13:06

when something goes wrong.

13:06

Rather than beating yourself up

13:08

and dwelling on the past. You

13:08

can focus on how you move

13:11

through it. It's how when

13:11

someone makes a mistake, rather

13:14

than losing your temper, you can

13:14

focus on okay, this has

13:16

happened, how do I stay calm and

13:16

actually focus on the future?

13:19

It's about recognizing, okay,

13:19

this is what happened in the

13:22

past, but rather than dwelling

13:22

on it and letting it weigh you

13:25

down, this is how you move on.

13:25

So it's incredibly empowering.

13:29

When you get that shift from

13:29

reacting to things to actually

13:31

focusing on how do you respond to them?

13:33

Yeah, that's

13:33

really good. Because I think,

13:37

yeah, I mean, we've all worked

13:37

for been under leaders who react

13:42

to negative emotion versus like

13:42

you said, respond, and this very

13:46

different in leadership, one you

13:46

really want to follow the other

13:49

you would want to get far away

13:49

from. So yeah, I mean, you work

13:54

with CEOs and different

13:54

entrepreneurs and leaders, what

13:57

have you seen are some of the

13:57

major problems that they deal

14:01

with?

14:03

That what I do is I'm

14:03

not a business coach. So when

14:06

I'm working with a leader, I

14:06

don't get involved in how they

14:09

run their company. After all,

14:09

it's that business, that the

14:12

leader for a reason, my focus is

14:12

to come in and figure out how

14:15

they showing up in everything

14:15

that they do. So this is why

14:18

I've had the fortune of I've

14:18

worked with everything from

14:21

first time CEOs to CEOs running

14:21

tech companies like global

14:24

operation businesses, billion

14:24

dollar unicorns in Silicon

14:27

Valley. And the reason why I've

14:27

had such a range of experiences,

14:30

our focus is always on them. And

14:30

the one universal challenge that

14:34

every single person I deal with,

14:34

or work with deals with is they

14:37

get stuck in their own head, like there were so many competing demands, there were so

14:38

many responsibilities that a lot

14:42

of the time they're so reactive,

14:42

then they the stumbling block in

14:45

the way of their growth because

14:45

they overthink, they second

14:48

guess themselves. They put off

14:48

making decisions, they avoid the

14:52

actions they know they need to

14:52

take, like having difficult

15:36

conversations or taking big

15:36

business decisions that can

15:39

really impact the trajectory of

15:39

the business. So it's all about

15:42

looking at, okay, why are they

15:42

sabotaging themselves? What is

15:45

the real reason that they're

15:45

holding back and not showing up

15:48

as the leader that the business

15:48

needs, when we get them out of

15:51

their own head, and we get their

15:51

confidence up and their

15:53

performance at the level of

15:53

needs to be. That's how they

15:56

take the business to the next

15:56

level. So it's a really

15:58

interesting thing. It's really

15:58

to get the psychology and the

16:01

mindset behind why people do

16:01

what they do, and then helping

16:04

them navigate at a higher level.

16:07

That's interesting, because I think there is something to that, I

16:08

mean, that there absolutely is

16:11

something to that, because I

16:11

think, too many leaders, we

16:13

focus on the external, the

16:13

skills, the things we need on

16:16

the external, when really, if we

16:16

just start with the man the

16:20

person and actually addressed

16:20

him, what he's dealing with, and

16:25

I say him, because you know, I

16:25

work with men, primarily this,

16:28

the men are forge badass, right?

16:28

But I'm sure it's the same thing

16:31

with women and and learning how

16:31

to do that well actually start

16:37

with you creates that person who

16:37

is great in those spaces, and

16:41

leads well,

16:42

hmm, exactly. It's one

16:42

of my favorite ways of framing

16:46

it is, you could give 100 people

16:46

the exact same strategy, but

16:50

they're all gonna get different

16:50

results. And the thing that

16:52

influences the outcome is their

16:52

mindset and how they execute on

16:55

that. And this is why it's such

16:55

an interesting realm, because

16:58

people are always getting caught

16:58

up in what are the latest hacks

17:01

and trends and strategy for

17:01

that, to make money or to kind

17:05

of get that quick win in

17:05

business. And a lot of the time,

17:08

the thing that's holding people

17:08

back from successes themselves,

17:11

it's that story that I'm telling

17:11

themselves, it's avoiding the

17:13

things that I need to do, which

17:13

is why it goes back to whether

17:16

it's the new book, or the

17:16

central theme of my work, it's

17:19

getting people out of their own

17:19

way. Because once you do that,

17:22

when you open yourself up to a whole new world of possibilities,

17:25

yeah, that's

17:25

great. Getting out of your own

17:27

way. That's true. So, you know,

17:27

a lot of my listeners are in

17:31

their 20s. And I'm sure many of

17:31

them are in business, or really

17:36

want to step into leadership

17:36

roles eventually. And so when

17:40

you see you work with these

17:40

first time CEOs, what are some

17:44

of the things that they you can

17:44

do now in your 20s that really

17:47

prepare you for that first

17:47

leadership role?

17:50

So I think we spoke a

17:50

little bit about this before,

17:54

getting a great mentor is such

17:54

an empowering way to grow. If

17:58

you find someone who's achieved

17:58

what you want to achieve, who

18:01

can really guide you and help

18:01

you break down situations and

18:04

learn and grow. But if you are

18:04

not at a point where you can get

18:08

a mentor, like my favorite tool

18:08

for personal growth is actually

18:12

reflection. It's taking time

18:12

every single day to just go back

18:17

and look at okay, what actually

18:17

happened, because most people

18:19

are just so focused on getting

18:19

through the day, they just go

18:22

through life challenges happen,

18:22

they deal with it and move on.

18:25

Whereas what you face is your

18:25

greatest opportunity for growth.

18:28

And this is why when I'm working

18:28

with clients, and anyone

18:31

listening to this could do

18:31

exactly the same thing. It's

18:33

break down everything from tough

18:33

conversations you went through

18:36

to what threw you off your team,

18:36

to what challenges did you face

18:40

a core student react or get

18:40

overwhelmed? And then really

18:43

think about? Okay, how did I

18:43

deal with that? How did it make

18:45

me feel? And what do I need to

18:45

learn from it, to navigate

18:48

better in the future, because

18:48

when you start doing that,

18:51

that's how you're going to build

18:51

your confidence and intuition.

18:54

So when you're in the same

18:54

situation, the next time, you're

18:56

going to know how to handle it.

18:56

It's a lot like an elite

18:59

athlete, going back and watching

18:59

old game footage, they know that

19:02

by going back through it, that's

19:02

how they're going to figure out

19:04

how to hone their age. And if

19:04

you want to be a really

19:07

effective leader, you've got to

19:07

do exactly the same thing.

19:09

Perfect example is let's say you

19:09

need to have a tough

19:12

conversation with someone, but

19:12

you get really emotional when

19:14

you just a turns into a

19:14

conflict, you break that down

19:17

and figure out okay, what do you

19:17

need to do the next time? How do

19:20

you make sure that the emotions

19:20

aren't taking over and you're

19:23

calm when you're grounded? And

19:23

how do you communicate your

19:25

point properly, you do this and

19:25

you plan it out in your mind,

19:28

then from a leadership

19:28

standpoint becomes so much

19:30

easier to deliver it the next

19:30

time. But most especially first

19:34

time leaders don't do this. They

19:34

just get stuck trying to

19:37

navigate all these things, and

19:37

they just get overwhelmed and

19:39

they crash and done. So it's

19:39

really about looking at well the

19:42

skill sets that you're missing,

19:42

and then doubling down on

19:45

learning them.

19:46

Reflection,

19:46

man, you're really hitting on

19:49

some good topics here. Byron, I

19:49

mean, reflection to me is such

19:52

an underrated skill set. And for

19:52

many people want to step into

19:58

leadership, it's so as really,

19:58

really good the ability to

20:01

reflect because you start doing

20:01

it quicker. And you're able to

20:04

then do it in real time. I think

20:04

the more you do it, the more you

20:06

have that practice. So therefore

20:06

you're proving once you get it

20:10

and then you start improving at a faster rate because you're able to reflect it so that's

20:12

really, really good. So you hit

20:17

in some of the other topics is

20:17

you know, success is important,

20:21

right success is out there but

20:21

it's all success doesn't always

20:23

lead to happiness. So what was

20:23

something that you you know, you

20:27

help a lot your clients do and

20:27

or maybe in your own life has

20:31

led to, you know, where

20:31

happiness comes from and where

20:35

what do we need to focus on to

20:35

truly be happy.

20:39

This is actually going

20:39

back to the quarter Topic of the

20:41

book bedside lifts up to chefs

20:41

like ultimately. And maybe you

20:44

should give up that, that

20:44

getting over everything that's

20:47

stopping you from living a happy

20:47

life. Because I think one thing

20:50

that every single one of us is

20:50

guilty of, is putting off our

20:53

happiness. Like how many times

20:53

have we set it where once you

20:56

reach that next goal that next

20:56

milestone, that next threshold,

21:00

that's when you'll take some

21:00

time off your prioritize your

21:02

family or focus on your health,

21:02

you'll do something for

21:05

yourself. But isn't that what

21:05

you said the time before, the

21:09

time before that, and we get so

21:09

caught up in where we go that we

21:12

forgot, forget to slow down and

21:12

enjoy the present. And the

21:15

reality is, you're never going

21:15

to get to where you want to be.

21:18

Because whatever you want, right

21:18

now, as soon as you get close,

21:21

the goal line is gonna move. And

21:21

that's why as cheesy as it

21:24

sounds, Happiness doesn't come

21:24

from the end result or an

21:27

achievement somewhere in the

21:27

future. And instead, that comes

21:31

from the journey, and the

21:31

journey takes place in the

21:33

present. And that's why you have

21:33

to if you want to be happy and

21:36

fulfilled, allow yourself to

21:36

slow down, you have to be in the

21:39

moment, you need to be present,

21:39

you need to feel more of life,

21:42

and what's going on. And you

21:42

also have to give yourself

21:44

permission to prioritize the

21:44

things you want. Because there's

21:48

always going to be responsibilities, there's always going to be things that you need

21:50

to get done. And that's why one

21:52

piece of advice I can give to

21:52

everyone here is if you want to

21:55

do something, you have to

21:55

schedule it. If you keep saying

21:58

to yourself, I'm going to try

21:58

and get to the gym later, I'm

22:01

going to try and free up some

22:01

time to focus on my hobby, try

22:03

and put aside time for date

22:03

night, it's never going to come.

22:07

This is always going to be something in the moment that seems more important. And that's

22:08

why the way I always approach it

22:12

is start with a calendar and

22:12

figure out what are the non

22:15

negotiables? What are the things

22:15

in life that truly matter to

22:18

you, and schedule that first,

22:18

and then build all of your other

22:21

commitments around it. That's

22:21

how you can change them from

22:24

being something you want to do

22:24

to something that are part of

22:26

your routine. And that's how

22:26

becomes easier then to follow

22:30

through with it.

22:31

Man, that's

22:31

good. Yeah, so I'm curious,

22:36

really. Byron, what's what how

22:36

did I want to frame this

22:41

question? Because this is an

22:41

interesting, I just so

22:44

fascinated. It's your third

22:44

book. Yeah, how do you really

22:50

what Yeah, at the end of the

22:50

day, when you writing this book,

22:53

what do you feel like you want

22:53

your your readers to gain

22:58

furnace.

23:00

So ultimately, is

23:00

getting out their own way and

23:03

taking control of the life that

23:03

they want, whatever that looks

23:05

like for the individual. Because

23:05

in the seven different sections,

23:08

everything from giving up being

23:08

reactive to living in fear to

23:12

worrying about the future and

23:12

prompts that haven't happened

23:14

yet, or being hard on yourself,

23:14

all of those ultimately building

23:18

up to of getting to a point

23:18

where you can have live a happy

23:21

life. And ultimately, what I

23:21

want for the readers or anyone

23:24

who follows my message is to

23:24

recognize that there's always

23:27

going to be problems around you, there's always going to be things that you want to do and

23:29

goals and aspirations. But

23:32

ultimately, at the end of the

23:32

day, are you happy, because

23:35

that's the only thing that matters. And it's about giving yourself permission to slow down

23:37

and just take control of the

23:40

things that you want, or going

23:40

after the things that you want.

23:44

It's all of your putting aside

23:44

your excuses, your reasons why

23:46

can't be done and getting the

23:46

life that you want. Because when

23:49

all is said and done, the big

23:49

thing for me is can you look

23:52

back and be like, You know what,

23:52

I lived the life that I wanted,

23:54

I lived it on my terms. And I

23:54

actually went for the things

23:57

that mattered to me. So that's

23:57

what I want for the people who

24:01

read the book back. You know

24:01

what, I can go for it, and I can

24:03

get over all of the reasons why

24:03

can't be done and actually do

24:06

it.

24:07

Yeah. And

24:07

that'd be that 65 year old, you

24:10

know, yeah, reading their life.

24:11

Yeah, exactly. So it's

24:11

such a powerful way of framing

24:14

it because we all get caught up

24:14

in problems and things are going

24:17

wrong. And I think when you

24:17

really future pace, and you

24:19

think of like 10 years from now,

24:19

am I going to care about this,

24:23

like when you start actually

24:23

pointing to that perspective

24:25

becomes so much easier to let go

24:25

and move on. It's the same as

24:29

like, if you've, I'm sure

24:29

there's, as you said, a lot of

24:32

like guys in their 20s listening

24:32

to this right now, if I go back

24:36

to when I was 25, part of the

24:36

reason why I was struggling was

24:39

I cared too much about what

24:39

everyone else was doing. I

24:41

compared myself to my friends to

24:41

my peers, I convinced myself

24:45

that I was behind and I just constantly feel like I was failing compared to them. And

24:47

then when I went stopped my

24:50

business, I was like, what are

24:50

people going to think? How are

24:52

people going to judge me for so

24:52

long, I didn't want to put out

24:55

videos because I was like,

24:55

people are gonna be talking

24:57

behind my back. And it's like

24:57

now just like, if people are

25:00

going to do that those aren't the sort of people you want in your life. Like you just need to

25:02

get tunnel vision and focus on

25:05

what's going to make you happy

25:05

and block out everyone else. I

25:07

think that's kind of something

25:07

that happens as you grow older,

25:10

you get through it. And you

25:10

realize that a lot of the things

25:13

you've convinced yourself are a

25:13

big deal when you're younger,

25:16

actually don't matter.

25:17

Yeah. And

25:17

it's interesting. It's like you

25:20

won't know that until you try if

25:20

you don't attempt to, like you

25:24

said earlier about failure, like

25:24

you're not willing to fail.

25:27

You'll carry those same self

25:27

sabotaging thoughts as you get

25:31

older. But if you start

25:31

confronting it and started like

25:34

putting the videos out, it's

25:34

like it may not look good. There

25:37

could be people who actually say

25:37

some bad things about it. But if

25:40

you're willing to actually try

25:40

it You will then approve, get up

25:43

improve. But Master reframing

25:47

failure, because a lot

25:47

of people look at failure as

25:49

this huge end of the world

25:49

thing, whereas actually, it's

25:52

just a stepping stone that's

25:52

going to get you one step closer

25:54

towards where you want to be.

25:54

And when you can stop doing

25:57

failure, it's this huge

25:57

catastrophe and just seeing as

25:59

an opportunity to learn and

25:59

grow. That's when it becomes so

26:02

much easier. Because then you

26:02

look for opportunities to fail,

26:05

that it's no longer scary

26:05

daunting or fourth thing, you're

26:08

like, Okay, I've learned this,

26:08

how do I improve for the next

26:11

time, and every failure is going

26:11

to get you one step closer

26:13

towards where you want to be? I

26:13

have such a huge mindset

26:16

reframe, because so many people

26:16

get paralyzed by failure.

26:19

They're like, Oh, if I fail,

26:19

it's going to be more for like,

26:21

all this bad stuff can happen.

26:21

It's actually no, it's going to

26:24

teach you what you need to do in

26:24

order to create success. And

26:27

it's just, you're gonna be in

26:27

the same situation regardless,

26:30

so you just take that pressure

26:30

off yourself?

26:32

Yeah, that's

26:32

good. Well, Byron, I've I've

26:35

asked this probably already

26:35

several different ways. And I'm

26:39

sure that's a lot of because it

26:39

does seem like you're, you're

26:42

serving the person you used to

26:42

be. And so I would love just,

26:46

you know, I love this obvious

26:46

kind of more direct question is,

26:50

if you could talk to your 25

26:50

year old self, what would you

26:52

tell him?

26:55

Stop getting stuck in

26:55

your own head. Like going back

26:58

to when I was just in the

26:58

corporate world. And I felt

27:00

lost. And I knew that I had all

27:00

these big goals, I went to

27:03

something that helped other people and do the thing that mattered. The biggest day in my

27:05

way, was myself. And I just

27:09

needed to be kinder to myself, I

27:09

need to stop beating myself up,

27:12

I needed to actually believe in

27:12

myself that could go make it

27:14

happen. I just also just get

27:14

over all of my reasons why I

27:18

couldn't be done. Like I've said

27:18

multiple times on this episode,

27:21

like when I was younger, I was

27:21

my own worst enemy. I would

27:24

constantly sabotage myself, it

27:24

was only when I learned to get

27:26

out of my head, like actually

27:26

break through it. And this is

27:30

why you hit the nail on the

27:30

head, like the book when I was

27:32

writing it. I was like, What did

27:32

I need to learn here? When I was

27:35

25, when I was stuck in my own

27:35

head and getting in my own way,

27:38

like, I had that person in mind

27:38

when I was writing it to pass it

27:41

on to them. And that's why I

27:41

love what you're doing with the

27:43

podcast. I think the younger

27:43

guys just need that advice of,

27:47

do you know what it is? It's

27:47

going to be okay, like a lot of

27:49

the things that you're building

27:49

up as problems right now not to

27:52

take away from them, because

27:52

they are very big problems, but

27:54

it's like, you will make it

27:54

through this. And that's one

27:57

thing that I always love to share with people. It's like, for God's what you're going

27:59

through right now. Like, I don't

28:01

want to, like diminish that. But

28:01

you survived 100% of your worst

28:06

days. Like even the moments when

28:06

you were backed into a corner

28:09

and you didn't think you were

28:09

gonna make it through the fact

28:11

that you're listening to this

28:11

right now shows that you did,

28:14

and that's why you're far

28:14

stronger than you give yourself

28:16

credit for. And when you

28:16

actually stop believing in

28:18

yourself, that's when amazing

28:18

things are gonna happen.

28:21

Yeah, we are

28:21

so capable of so much more than

28:23

we think is going back or do you

28:23

say we just got to reframe that

28:27

mindset? Get out of our own

28:27

head. And that's great. Well,

28:31

Byron, appreciate you coming on

28:31

man. Where can people find you?

28:35

easiest place to find

28:35

out more about these at Byron

28:39

morrison.com. I'm also active on

28:39

LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook

28:42

and Tik Tok. Just search for

28:42

Byron Morrison. And yeah, if

28:45

anyone wants to check out my new

28:45

book, baby, you should give up.

28:48

You can get anywhere that you

28:48

can order books.

28:51

Yeah, great.

28:51

Amazon, anything like that?

28:54

Yeah, Amazon

28:55

Barnes and Noble

28:55

Waterstones anywhere that sells

28:57

books that's available.

28:59

Gotcha. Well,

28:59

man, I appreciate you coming on

29:02

Byron. It's been a pleasure, man.

29:04

Thank you for having me. It was a lot of fun.