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1:42

You're listening to the Meninblazers network

1:46

suboptimal radio. Beelsa,

1:48

I once interviewed him and he said the role

1:51

of football is to bring joy

1:53

to those who --

1:54

Yes. -- play

1:54

joy hard to experience. watch

1:56

Grylls, and I think he is Beals'

1:59

idea

2:00

of footballing comment, Joy. That's

2:02

right. Body of a man, mind of a child.

2:04

It's like a child saying, I wanna be a Premier

2:06

League footballer. And there's like some fairy

2:08

coming down saying, ding, you just have

2:10

a large body

2:11

now. There you can go do it. He he has the innocence

2:13

up. I can't believe I'll get to do this

2:15

for a living. Look at this. Oh,

2:17

yolk. You go long. Oh, I got a

2:20

It's nice. This is neat. I'm

2:22

a footballer.

2:28

This has been a surreal

2:30

footballing season. The Qatar

2:33

World Cup ripping up the traditional

2:35

calendar, shattering the club

2:37

campaign into two pieces to

2:40

facilitate a winter will cut break in the

2:42

middle in which to coordinate on new king,

2:44

Lionel, which had knock on effects

2:47

across the world of football, exhausted

2:49

players, a nosebleed fix

2:52

your list. And also, what

2:54

the world is most upset about

2:56

destroying our annual tradition

2:59

of having a John Oliver holiday

3:01

special. Fear not though.

3:03

Football don't sleep and John Oliver

3:05

don't catch up too much either. As

3:07

I live and breathe and the Premier League finally

3:09

hits its halfway mark. Stuart

3:11

welcome back for a first half

3:13

of the season footballing review,

3:16

a gen. You may know from HBO's last

3:18

week tonight, which is to the Emmys,

3:21

what biomedicist to Wondery' League of

3:23

Champions Shields, returning for

3:25

its tenth season of

3:28

February nineteenth. Same

3:30

number as men in blazes twenty

3:32

six Emmys between the two of

3:33

us. And if you don't know him from that, surely

3:36

from his portrayal of Zazoo in the documentary.

3:39

The Lion King What a sight to

3:41

behold? It's mister John Oliver.

3:44

Raj, what a pleasure to be back. Who

3:46

needs a holiday

3:47

special, right, where spirits are high?

3:49

Yep. This year more than in the others,

3:51

it seems more appropriate to

3:53

check-in during the on week of a

3:55

late January, early February

3:58

depression. Let's

4:00

wallow in every misery

4:03

that the football will come through

4:05

us, John and I

4:05

have to say.

4:06

Let's be clear, Raj. Right from the start. Neither

4:09

you nor I nor

4:11

Davos are happy with what's happening with

4:13

our teams right now. Not none of us.

4:15

None of us are happy, but I must admit

4:18

darkness comes in different hues,

4:21

and you are experiencing a deeper darkness

4:23

than we are. There's just no question

4:25

about that. You are It breaks the darkness normally

4:27

found at the bottom of an ocean, only

4:29

illuminated by a passing

4:31

lantern fish.

4:33

Bottom of the ocean, you'll never

4:35

sing that. I am currently

4:37

wallowing in a place. I think only Job

4:39

from the book

4:40

job. Yes. And maybe some of the

4:42

Egyptians who suffered the ten

4:44

plagues.

4:45

Not understated at all. Not

4:46

understated, right, she's earning that comparison. I

4:49

do believe that If if we wake up with just

4:51

every single morning, ever sometimes just

4:53

waking up in this cycle, oh, my

4:54

god, what threshold will be

4:56

inflicted on the club we love today, but enough

4:59

about me, You could be watching this on

5:00

mute. You've spent literally more than half

5:03

the time with

5:03

your head in your hand so far. Your

5:05

your body language is screaming. Things

5:07

are not going well. And on top of

5:09

it, I just found out I was bald, but

5:11

the season was strange. I

5:13

was gonna say it's in fact a few clubs model

5:15

level for football club says Roger the master

5:17

of deflection. This time last

5:19

year, we had you on and

5:21

we were in the midst of borderline

5:24

human

5:24

perfection. Honestly, Alchemy, the quaternary

5:27

pool was coming home And

5:29

now your joy has turned to ashes

5:31

in your mouth as your club for

5:33

times this season are a shadow

5:35

of the squad which obliterated all

5:38

comers

5:38

John. How are you experiencing it all?

5:40

Again, Raj, ashes in the mouth.

5:42

It's

5:42

fair. But coming from

5:45

you, we're talking about an ashes in the mouth

5:47

challenge.

5:49

You know when those kids were taking cinnamon and

5:51

coughing it up, That's the life

5:53

of a everton fan right now. No

5:55

puns. Listen.

5:58

Twelve months ago, It really was. If you redeem

6:00

it, you can do it. Anything

6:02

is possible. And

6:04

then this year's, what's diet? So

6:07

tired. You know, dreams and

6:09

dreams and then you wake up when your life

6:11

is as it is. So, yeah,

6:13

it it it does seem like it took

6:16

so much out of them. Physically,

6:18

obviously, because I think you're not supposed to

6:20

play that much football as a human

6:22

being. Especially with that level of

6:24

intensity. And

6:27

emotionally, I think it did a real

6:29

number on them. So it's

6:31

it's interesting. There there are a bit of it

6:33

seems like this is gonna be a halfway

6:36

between a significant transition season

6:38

and a kind of emotional and physical recovery

6:41

season. COP, he he kinda called it.

6:43

In his credit, it was a pretty clear warning

6:45

sign when he said, yeah, we're not ready for the

6:47

start of this season. That preseason wasn't

6:49

good enough, we're gonna have a couple of extra games. I

6:51

think that doesn't sound like it's gonna do

6:53

it. If you're saying that before we play to

6:55

fool them, then things

6:58

might not be going smoothly this

7:00

year. And by a couple of extra games,

7:02

he meant thirty eight I mean, you have

7:04

been beaten by united by arsenal,

7:06

but also not in forest, Bradford,

7:09

and Leeds. You know, where you describe

7:11

it, it does seem a little bit like either

7:13

strapping on wax wings and and

7:15

heading right for the sun last season

7:17

or maybe, Sadio Marne

7:19

was just a single jenga piece,

7:21

the removal of which brought the entire

7:23

tower crashing

7:23

down. It's such a crazy argument anyway.

7:26

So if we just hadn't sold Sadio, we

7:28

think that was not it,

7:30

everyone else. It's not

7:32

one magnificent Wondery who

7:34

has made this engine

7:37

over the years clearly they need a

7:39

midfield. That's the thing. It feels like you

7:41

have a, you know, an injured

7:43

but fundamentally functional

7:46

front three that you can rotate

7:48

between. You have a defense

7:50

which is actually in better shape than it looks like. And

7:52

then you have almost nothing

7:54

in between. So short

7:57

of Jude Bellingham arriving,

8:00

and now Jude? That's

8:02

both. I mean, and now Jude

8:04

now. Come on, Jude. Come

8:07

on, Jude. We've got the songs

8:09

ready. Come on, Jude. We need you more

8:11

than you need us. Isn't that what every

8:13

footballer wants?

8:14

And first year, like, we can we can afford

8:16

Jude Law on a one picture

8:18

deal. Will that do? But you've got you do have

8:20

new friends. You've got Darwin noon

8:22

yes. And that Jenny's box

8:24

office, he's almost like a tumor -- Yes. --

8:26

me, a master -- Yes. -- of the slapstick.

8:28

You know, you hear about people who only learn

8:30

English, By watching daytime

8:33

soap operas, he's like a striker

8:35

who learned to play football solely

8:37

by watching Bobby Fomeno Gold

8:39

celebrations.

8:40

Yes. It does feel like even when

8:42

he misses a

8:44

bunch of chances, he is

8:46

justified, has kind of turned towards

8:48

the crowd. Like Gladiator

8:50

saying, are you not entertained?

8:52

Are you not entertained? I happy we got

8:55

the that's a fair point, Darwin.

8:57

I would love you to have stuck

8:59

that what seemed like a tapping away

9:01

to

9:01

me, but it's

9:03

funny. You're funny to

9:05

watch. But hold

9:07

my art Oh, you

9:09

know, as a cliche. What is a

9:11

doll when you think about

9:13

it? Oh, oh,

9:15

Darwin. Oh.

9:17

There's a clousiness, wisely once

9:20

said. For everything, there is a

9:22

season, a time to be born, and

9:24

a time to die -- Mhmm. -- a tighter

9:26

plant, a time to

9:28

harvest and a time -- Yes. -- possibly

9:30

to drop Jordan Hendo and Fabbino.

9:32

And it has been agonizing

9:34

Suddenly, all the anchors of that team, including

9:36

Big Virgin, appear to be

9:38

gods with clay feet, which is a

9:40

theological moment of doubt for

9:42

even the most god fearing human being so

9:44

many bad moments. What's been the saddest

9:47

experience watching? John

9:49

Oliver, not just alone anymore, but

9:51

with your

9:51

children, who your kids are seeing

9:54

a vulnerable Liverpool for

9:56

the first time. I think the

9:59

thing that was striking to me

10:01

was approaching

10:03

that brightness game. And just

10:05

thinking, we're gonna lose this game

10:07

though. And that felt very

10:09

different. Again, you talk about twelve months ago.

10:11

There's no way that thought

10:13

entertains your head, but I genuinely

10:16

thought a point would be great,

10:18

but I I don't think we're gonna win

10:20

this. And then you catch yourself and think,

10:22

wow,

10:22

wow, that that golden

10:25

era sunsetted real fast,

10:27

didn't

10:27

it? By the way,

10:30

fearing Britain, been there,

10:32

done that. But it has been

10:34

hard to watch Juergen

10:36

Club, fatty, daddy,

10:38

you know, flail like a giant

10:40

German care bear, dreamed of love

10:42

to seem bereft, sniping

10:44

at journalists, referees, you

10:46

know, he's never in his career. He's done

10:48

so much, but he's never built a team,

10:50

a winning team, and then

10:52

rebuilt it. You know, his impact,

10:54

his words, maybe wearing off in his players,

10:56

he may be grappling with challenges, John

10:58

Oliver, that, you know,

11:00

fist bumps sold hugs. No

11:02

matter how tantric can cure,

11:05

dare I even ask the question, if

11:07

you contemplate this, might we be

11:09

seeing the end of the European

11:11

Clop era at

11:11

Liverpool, and how would you even begin to feel

11:13

about that? I I really hope not. I

11:15

I would be a a

11:18

pretty strong clop evangelist. I

11:20

think he is you you have to factor

11:22

in what things were

11:24

like when he arrived and what they had been like

11:26

for a long time before that

11:28

happened. I think he has more than earned

11:30

the right to fully

11:32

watch this crumble if

11:35

that indeed is what is happening and

11:37

to give him a chance to build

11:38

again. I find any

11:41

course for clap out utterly

11:43

ludicrous. That seems to come from

11:45

the most inane

11:47

level entitlements imaginable. I

11:49

mean, it it must it must be rushing this

11:51

information. It's almost so crazy humanly

11:53

right. It it doesn't make any

11:56

sense. I do worry

11:58

what the potential Jude Belling and

12:00

Plan B is because the Plan A

12:02

there is fantastic. That feels

12:04

like is the rare sign. You can get

12:06

excited about prospective signings,

12:08

obviously, all the time. We all do that. That's the method

12:10

of for being a human

12:12

human being who's interested in

12:13

football. Love that sweet sweet method, don't.

12:16

With Bellingham,

12:16

it does feel like you're potentially

12:19

talking about a decades

12:21

long. Superstar

12:24

for your team and somewhat something that

12:26

makes the whole thing work. It's a little bit

12:28

like putting Virgin there or

12:30

Alison, but in the middle.

12:32

I I don't see what the plan

12:34

b is there. If we get him fantastic

12:36

and I think that he will make

12:38

everything around him better. If

12:40

we don't get him, I would

12:42

love to know what is scrawled

12:44

on Klapp's

12:45

whiteboard. It's because I know it's

12:47

Jude in big letters.

12:49

And I

12:49

don't know what it says after that.

12:52

He said Tom Davis of our

12:54

generation. When you

12:56

first came on our show and you mentioned

12:58

what came before club. Yeah. Let me

13:00

remind you back in two thousand ten,

13:02

Liverpool were under Roy

13:05

Hodgson yeah, still my

13:07

favorite Liverpool manager of all

13:09

time, and the football was

13:11

terrible. And you said, and I often

13:13

repeat this because I think there's a lesson in

13:15

it for fans of every team. There's a lesson

13:17

about life here. You used to on

13:19

and say, all you beg for,

13:21

you tune in is five minutes

13:23

of good football, one great

13:25

passing sequence. You've

13:27

since John, senior team

13:30

win it all. You really

13:32

have. You know, so right now,

13:34

are you like, I don't care.

13:36

What we're doing. Night, tenth,

13:38

whatever. Mine eyes

13:40

have seen the glory or

13:42

it's a true in Dante's quote that

13:44

there's no greater sorrow than

13:47

to recall happiness in a time

13:49

of

13:49

misery. I think that's the things that global fans

13:51

are plagued with very, very short

13:53

memories. So you

13:55

you you forget what

13:58

you were very, very

14:00

recently. you wanna shave people

14:02

on the shoulders like remember who you were

14:04

yesterday. Really just cast

14:06

cast your mind back to your local fans, both

14:08

twelve months and also

14:10

to the late rogers,

14:12

mid Roy Hodgson era, and

14:14

except that things are meaningfully

14:16

better

14:16

now. And for you to say, no, I want more. I

14:19

want more. You sound like vote violent bowl

14:21

regard in the chocolate factory. You're

14:23

not you're not getting the building from

14:25

mister

14:25

Willie. You

14:26

sound like a piece of shit.

14:28

I think

14:30

you've just Oh, it's

14:31

a lump sum. Yeah. Yeah. No. You're just

14:33

building a plump v. It's a lump sum

14:35

lump

14:35

sum. It is

14:38

amazing too. I've got to say when I hear

14:40

Liverpool fans on Twitter

14:42

after a admittedly a frustrating

14:44

result just say, like, FSG out,

14:46

you're killing our club and

14:48

I look at it and I'm like, you've

14:51

won the league. They they you

14:53

win the champions league. You win the final

14:55

of the year. As I I wish someone

14:57

would come in and kill my club in

14:59

that same creative --

15:01

Yeah. -- global wear tinshwaite.

15:04

Absolutely. And and the the problem is, and

15:06

I fully understand how frustrating this

15:08

is for club. Like you have major

15:10

investments. And it's

15:12

just so significantly different

15:14

than some of these fundamentally

15:16

state owned even if it's in, you

15:19

know, called something else, football

15:21

teams. If you're asking for that, you

15:23

wanna be very very

15:25

care for what you're wishing for

15:26

there. That's that's the problem.

15:29

That comes with a significant moral

15:31

price. As we when

15:33

we get to the sorted turgid, everton

15:36

part of this story we will discuss.

15:38

But first, to happier

15:40

stories because we're not just living out a

15:42

football season. We're

15:44

living out one etched. I do believe

15:46

carved out of a hundred percent

15:48

pure cut arsenal supporter

15:50

fan fiction, a team. For

15:52

so long a weakling who had the

15:54

sand kicked into their face on the beach by bullies

15:57

like True Deanie. They have

15:59

risen. They've cut out the deadwood.

16:01

They've trusted youth. They've

16:03

grown to become rippled, and I've

16:05

only seen this before once.

16:07

And I think that was in the karate kid,

16:09

in the Meyaghi dojo. Maybe

16:11

arguably cliffed the big red dog too, I

16:13

guess. They've become an

16:15

unstoppable, joyous force

16:17

for

16:17

good. But,

16:17

you know, it speaks though to what we were

16:19

just talking about to to the, like, short

16:22

term short termism, IDC, a

16:24

football fan. There was

16:26

Arterra Outdoors from Arsenal

16:28

fans two years

16:28

ago. In the beginning of last season,

16:31

the beginning of last season, gotta

16:33

go. It's gotta go. I can't remember if we talked

16:35

about this. You think, right right then, you listen to

16:37

that thing and you're absolutely out of

16:39

your mind. But this is a guy who has

16:41

a very clear sense of

16:43

what he wants to happen and you know

16:45

more than anyone. All you can

16:47

really ask for fundamentally is a

16:49

manager with a plan. A plan

16:51

for the kind of football that he wants to play, not

16:53

the kind of Sam Allotites plan of, you

16:55

know what? I will get what's the bare

16:57

minimum points? I'll get

16:59

you that or one more. Oh,

17:01

is that, mate? Don't ask me

17:03

how. He's always coming in like Harvey Cartel as

17:05

a cleaner. Don't ask me how I

17:07

get this

17:08

done. It's not gonna be pretty,

17:09

but I'm gonna get the job done. Not

17:11

what it loves on. A teta

17:13

had a plan. It was so

17:16

clear to everyone from outside that it was

17:18

gonna take a while for that plan to bed

17:20

in, but you had to commit to it. And it

17:22

felt for a while that they nearly pulled

17:24

the plug on it. Which would have

17:26

been an absolutely idiotic

17:28

decision. So it it it's this

17:30

is definitely happening earlier than I I thought it

17:32

would. I thought it was pretty clear that

17:34

he had a fundamental philosophy of football that

17:36

he was gonna be able to apply

17:38

there. It's just happened quickly

17:40

and beautifully. A plan with

17:42

a hair helmet and slightly surreal use of the

17:45

f word during halftime speeches

17:47

as we found out in all or

17:48

nothing. Betty smells good. Betty smells

17:50

good as well. God

17:53

damn. Does he ever yeah. I mean, he he

17:55

smoked too good for everton, not so he felt

17:57

like Eddie was dragged

18:00

But a year on, he's now suddenly seen as one of the

18:02

most inspirational wartime leaders.

18:06

Since Winston Churchill, we

18:08

shall fight on the beaches. fight

18:10

on the landing grounds. We shall fight

18:12

Rich Arlisson when he's pulling shit houses

18:14

during the North London

18:15

derby. Oh, very good.

18:18

How do you understand the the transformation?

18:20

For start, let's let's

18:21

just all acknowledge that the

18:24

North London

18:25

I don't say this lightly. The North London nearly

18:27

reached its final perfect form there.

18:29

It was almost

18:31

everyone on and off that

18:33

pitch. Was doing exactly what they were

18:36

supposed to

18:36

be doing, which is big. Let's

18:39

all become for ninety minutes

18:41

plus extra time the worst version

18:44

of ourselves. That is what this fixer is all

18:46

about.

18:49

Why do we watch?

18:53

It's the answer to the question how low

18:56

can you go. It's this.

18:58

I just kicked a goalkeeper. Am

19:00

I am I that

19:02

person? Yeah. And then ever to the, like, hold

19:04

my beer. You think that's the worst version?

19:07

Oh, god. That is true. So that's what we

19:09

saw in that

19:09

second, Rich Olsson. Just

19:13

elevating it on the field and

19:14

And off and off

19:17

and off the knocking the

19:19

hand

19:19

away knocking knocking the hand away. Think he's

19:21

not even Oh, he's plugged. That's what you ask for

19:23

for a substitute. Get your head in the game.

19:25

What are you gonna be

19:26

doing? I'm gonna be doing all part of this business. That's what I'm gonna

19:29

be

19:29

doing. I'm ready. Get me on

19:32

gaffer.

19:33

No. Do I know that when this Brazilian

19:36

teammate reached out to give

19:38

he just snubbed him like, we're we're not

19:40

Brazilian

19:40

anymore. We did not grow up playing

19:42

football through academies, playing

19:44

them youth. That's We're all North Londoners

19:46

now. Right. You can take the man out of Evanston. You

19:49

can't take the Evanston out of the man. That's what that

19:51

that's what that moment showed

19:52

me. Copper. Yeah. An

19:55

Arsenal, that win

19:57

league titles, John.

19:59

John, it's new that

20:01

idea. For many fans here who've

20:03

only started a watch in the United States since

20:05

two thousand fourteen. It took almost an

20:06

anathema. That is the thing

20:09

for me. I'll say, I guess, if

20:11

you're if you're around our

20:13

age, for me, it's still slightly too soon.

20:15

They they they I'm you're gonna hear a

20:17

lot of we've suffered as Arsenal fans.

20:19

I remember the perfect season. I don't think you've

20:21

suffered long enough to pay for

20:23

what you had then. So I still

20:25

think this is happening early

20:27

than I expected in terms of our Tetas plan

20:30

and earlier than really is earned in terms

20:32

of Arsenal fan misery. You're getting

20:34

this early. You you you went

20:36

undefeated for a whole season. I don't really

20:38

wanna hear about things have been

20:39

bad. Things have been fine in aggregate.

20:42

God, I love you. John Oliver, we've been in the footballing sense

20:44

of the theology of reward and punishment.

20:46

We are so wonderfully in

20:48

our footballing approach, but this team

20:51

have so many joyous

20:54

weapons. Martin Erdegard, Ethereum,

20:56

Aaron Ramsdale proper bunkers in all of

20:58

the good ways Kyosaka hold

21:01

me close a tiny dancer

21:03

watching him chards down the wing. So

21:06

witnessing a baby unicorn sparkled

21:08

us coming out behind him. This is not a

21:10

drill at it this season. Tell me,

21:13

Arsenal not gonna implode and sell

21:15

sabotage and crash to earth.

21:17

I don't

21:17

think so. III

21:20

don't I don't see it. They've had plenty of

21:23

chances to crack and I

21:25

haven't. That I think they're gonna

21:27

be okay. And I I know in

21:29

saying that, that is just the

21:32

sweet sweet kiss of death, but

21:35

I don't know. It it

21:37

it looks real to me.

21:40

Stan Crocky, don't miss.

21:43

The team.

21:46

Wow. I I think you might have

21:49

just come up with the least

21:52

the least beautiful football

21:54

charm that's ever been, and that's a that's an incredibly

21:56

low bar. Stan,

21:58

clunky, don't miss. Stan

22:00

Crocker, he don't miss.

22:04

I'm not trademarking that. That is

22:06

my gift of a turd to

22:08

the world. But the team

22:09

oh, I gotta wash my mouth out that I Stan,

22:12

cranky, don't miss. Sorry. That's That

22:14

is an ugly use of the English

22:17

language. Let's

22:20

see. Most likely to catch

22:23

them. Manchester City, what do

22:25

you make John of

22:27

Earling Harland, who is, I

22:29

believe, Chat GPT, In

22:32

Cleets, an extraordinarily level

22:34

footballer who will score

22:36

all the goals when

22:38

all the games then write term

22:40

papers which mean college as we know it

22:42

will cease to

22:43

exist. I think it's one of the reasons that I would be

22:45

quite happy with Arsenal winning the league this year

22:47

is that that signing felt

22:49

unfair. Right? Even aside from all the financial

22:52

steroids going on, but like, well, you

22:54

can't have him though. That's

22:56

PlayStation for Baller. That doesn't that's

22:58

not fair, is it? And it seemed so unfair

23:01

for so long. I think it would be great

23:03

if it didn't work for at least one

23:05

season. That it it's I don't

23:07

know what the answer is to stop him other than

23:09

it's gonna take four people to do

23:10

it, so you better hope that they don't have anyone

23:13

else. Oh shit, they do. Watch

23:15

him break all no. Not just break them,

23:17

but obliterate all no

23:20

and gold records. Honestly, it

23:22

is like I imagine watching

23:24

the first viking raiders roll

23:26

ashore and start to pillage and the

23:28

Saxon's just been

23:29

like, oh crap, this is not gonna go well for

23:31

us. All hail on you

23:33

king king, can you? Is that unique? I

23:35

don't know what you're really supposed

23:37

to do. That's the defending. He can't

23:39

foul him. He's too strong. You can't

23:41

race him. He's too fast. Right?

23:44

You can't ignore him because he's too clever. You'll

23:46

find space. And it feels like you know when

23:48

those NBA players go around saying you're too small to

23:50

guard me it. It feels like he's got a version that

23:52

for everyone. You're too stupid to the God.

23:54

You're too weak to defend me.

23:56

I I don't know what you're supposed to do, and

23:58

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe

24:02

some smart manager will come up with it, but other

24:04

than saying you have to double or triple

24:06

up on him and just take your

24:08

medicine with with

24:09

Morris. IIII don't know. It's it's

24:11

But but are they

24:13

silver and grills?

24:15

Oh, grills. You gotta always

24:18

take him

24:19

But that's the medicine

24:19

you don't mind taking. It's

24:21

you know what? He in many ways, he's

24:24

he's man city's dull with

24:26

newness. If you're if you're

24:28

angry with

24:28

him, I think you're angry with life. It

24:31

really is. If that

24:33

gentleman, I so misunderstood. He's

24:35

just here to bring joy

24:37

to entertain to bring light

24:39

where do it. You'll be able to once

24:41

interviewed him. And he

24:43

football is to bring joy

24:45

to those who --

24:45

Yes. -- buy joy hard to experience. I

24:48

watch Grylls, and I think he

24:50

is Beals' idea

24:52

of footballing comment,

24:53

Joel. That's right. Body of a man,

24:56

mind of a child. It's like a child saying, I

24:58

wanna be a Premier League footballer. And like

25:00

some fairy coming down saying, ding, you

25:02

just have a large body now. There you can go do

25:04

it. He he has. And isn't it? I can't

25:06

believe I get to do this for a living. Look

25:09

at this. Oh, yeah. You go

25:11

along. Oh, I got a head up. It's

25:13

nicely as it needs. I'm

25:15

a footballer.

25:16

You just know, Grylls.

25:19

Grylls is essentially English, Tom

25:21

Hanks, in big.

25:22

Yes. It's absolutely That is

25:24

exact I I truly believe it's fundamentally

25:27

football big. That that is what's

25:29

happened there. That he's he's

25:31

standing there, go. I can't believe it. Look my

25:33

feet are really

25:33

big. Look at this.

25:35

How about it? Look, I've got a

25:37

cold haircut too because that's the haircut, a

25:40

child thinks Yeah. Cool for an

25:42

adult. This

25:42

beer tastes funny. It's why he

25:45

gets on so well with children when you when you see

25:47

him being spectacularly kind.

25:49

To kids. You realize, that's because they're

25:52

peers. He's he's just a don't

25:54

tell anybody. I'm one of

25:56

you. I'm just playing for

25:58

Manchester specifically.

25:59

And England, by

26:01

the way. I'll I'll

26:03

I'll work on me

26:06

celebrations in front of the

26:07

mirror, like your child. But

26:10

you know when you

26:12

get to be grown up, you get to stay up to

26:14

anytime you like, You can't believe it.

26:16

Anyone who does not like Grylls

26:18

and is tired of the phrase of

26:20

a professional football answering your question

26:21

with, I don't have a scooby.

26:24

Is No. I was good food. Yeah. That

26:26

was good. Can you imagine what the

26:28

nutritionist of Man City has to go through? Just

26:30

kind of walk in jackups that you can't

26:32

have cocoa pops for breakfast because

26:35

you're a professional athlete. Your

26:37

body's an engine, but they're so tungsten and

26:39

they turn the milk brown.

26:41

The middle of my

26:44

pew. I don't

26:46

know how to have this conversation with

26:47

him. I'm looking for common grounds and there

26:50

just isn't I'm just gonna give him my

26:52

iPhone and tell him to watch cartoons.

26:54

And I love

26:57

him. I think it's good for the

26:59

game. I've gotta

27:01

tell you, I felt low for a week

27:03

until this

27:03

conversation. That is the

27:06

gift that grylls to the world.

27:07

But see exactly City have

27:09

been strangely vulnerable at times this

27:12

season, but line human. And the only thing that

27:14

has remained constantly the same

27:16

is PeP being so perpetually

27:19

weird in his post match

27:22

words, pretending to throw the

27:24

towel in on the title race. don't

27:26

care about the Premier League. We've won

27:28

a lot. It's not a problem.

27:30

You look at that. Mourinho's

27:33

mania. Always seemed

27:35

calculated and staged in a kind of

27:37

WWE way. PeP's

27:39

actually seems like a genuine

27:40

mania. And I John, how

27:43

exhausting was keep up.

27:44

Oh, I'm I imagine it's utterly

27:47

exhausting. Again, I do think we need to

27:49

appreciate the fact that for a

27:51

long time, that we we had a

27:53

period of incredible characters in football,

27:55

and then it felt like football became professional

27:57

because it realized you actually can't beat

27:59

like Brian Clough. You can't you can't do

28:01

that. If if the sport is gonna be the

28:03

way it's going to be going forward,

28:05

you can't have brine clubs. Then it felt like you had

28:07

all of these automatoms that didn't have any

28:09

real person policy. Now you got some genuine

28:11

clap interesting weird

28:13

man. PeP interesting

28:15

weird man. So yeah,

28:17

I think we do need to appreciate

28:18

it. But I I can't I can't imagine how

28:20

how

28:20

exhausting it is to be that kind of committed. For

28:23

both of them, I think I think that there's a reason why

28:25

both of them kind of again,

28:28

unusually tried to build in

28:30

satheticals between teams thinking, I need

28:32

to mentally recover. Because

28:34

this is so all

28:36

consuming for me. And you can understand why that

28:38

there's a reason that clot built that into

28:40

his schedule because he can't

28:43

do. Let alone his players, he can't keep putting himself through that.

28:45

And you're kind of seeing the same with Pep, and they're both

28:47

on the long end of what they're

28:49

they're normally able to do contract

28:51

which is interesting to watch because you are

28:53

seeing the exhaustion. They're a little

28:56

bit older. They've been there a little bit

28:58

longer. But yeah, they're they're fascinating

29:00

to watch that it's not often that you really care

29:02

about what a football manager has to say.

29:04

But to to see Pep

29:06

laugh at journalists. And again, no, in

29:08

in the way clock is often right underneath the

29:11

snipe in the stomach. I remember that

29:13

PeP that PeP post match interview where they were

29:15

saying, oh, do you even need a false nine?

29:17

And he said, I will bet you. I can't remember it's like a million

29:19

thousand that you're going to ask me that

29:21

same question when we don't score

29:23

and say, do we do

29:25

do you need a striker now? And he was

29:27

right. He's just going again because it's that

29:30

short

29:30

termism. Oh, wow. You played really well. Maybe you

29:32

don't need a striker. Maybe you can play with a false

29:34

nine forever. And he knew, look,

29:37

sure. We can agree on that now, but you're

29:39

you're gonna turn around like this conversation never

29:41

happened in seven days

29:42

time. I mean, he is so inside his

29:44

own head, Pat. Just the level of which he's not

29:46

just processing tactics in this

29:49

ether and no one can match, but

29:51

then processing the reaction to his

29:53

tactics in the press room and then

29:55

planning his counter reaction to

29:57

that in his pre match comments

29:59

is just I

30:00

mean, it is it is incredible madness. That's why

30:02

I would love to be able to see him

30:04

and Jack Greelish talking together.

30:06

Mhmm. He's got one got his blank

30:09

chest. Wondery who's playing hungry hungry hippos. One

30:11

guy who's speaking a second language,

30:13

one who is not fluent in his first.

30:16

So that the fact that PeP can

30:18

build any kind of understanding between the two

30:20

of them, I think says more for

30:22

him. Any any kind of

30:24

pre match Talk to talk ever

30:25

cam. You remind me of a line for the two the

30:28

excellent slow horses. It's like

30:30

trying to explain Norway

30:32

to a dog Yes.

30:35

Yes. Exactly. That's

30:39

exactly what it

30:41

is. Talking to Jack Greelish about anything that isn't directly

30:43

in front of him at that moment.

30:46

Former

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NFL

30:46

star, Ryan Shazir, wants to

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make something clear. When doctors told him he

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32:48

On the other hand,

32:51

Manchester United May

32:54

May finally have woken from their

32:56

near decade of slumber,

32:59

Eric, ten, hard,

33:01

those three words, so stoic,

33:03

so severe. Essentially, so incredibly

33:06

dutch. Now, you came on this show and

33:08

called Antonio

33:09

Conza, an Italian stereotype

33:13

to an almost offensive degree. Annually,

33:15

genuinely offensive. ETH

33:17

-- Yes. -- is always the low country

33:19

equivalent of that. Would you mind? I think that's

33:21

right. I I would imagine you got Dutch people

33:23

kind of slightly squirming sometimes. Right?

33:25

That's too dutch though,

33:26

Eric. That's a little bit too

33:28

dutch. It

33:29

feels like the camera's gonna pan down, you're gonna be wearing

33:32

wooden shoes. That's too dutch for me,

33:34

Eric. Your food

33:37

reminds me. Of a stern

33:39

creature in Elmore City,

33:41

Oklahoma, who doesn't take kindly to a young

33:43

Kevin Bacon rolling in from the

33:45

big city with his dancing

33:47

and devil's rock and roll music.

33:49

We've obviously Harry Maguire and the Kevin

33:51

Bacon Roll, but he does seem to be a

33:53

transformational

33:53

genius. Yeah. I can't

33:56

stand Manchester United. Roger, you

33:58

know that. So it's very hard for me to will

34:00

anything positive happening to that

34:02

organization. I have truly delighted

34:04

in the chaos that was there. I'm not quite

34:07

ready to say goodbye to it yet. I thought it was gonna take

34:09

a little bit longer and I was

34:11

kind of enjoying you know, the final morsels of pain

34:14

that will be experienced there. I I worry I

34:16

worry that unfortunately, he is the right guy

34:18

for that job.

34:20

He is taking on a massive reconstruction, and he's he's doing it

34:22

quite well. And I think I have to

34:24

emotionally prepare myself for the fact

34:26

that, again, I've enjoyed a really

34:28

good run as a Liverpool fan

34:30

of watching Manchester United destroy

34:32

themselves. It's been great, and I'm so grateful to

34:34

Cristiano

34:35

for coming back. And really it was

34:38

that really was the cherry on top of the whipped cream, on top of the ice

34:40

cream. And I think it

34:42

was probably we were probably at the mountain top

34:46

there. That was probably as good as the view from the

34:48

wreck of Manchester United was gonna

34:50

get. We always say on this show, save for

34:54

every moment take nothing for granted, even the shouting, freighter, and misery

34:56

on Uniti's defeat. I actually feel about

34:58

Unitiated. You know, I always used to left it. By the way,

35:00

this all comes new Uniti fans from Uniti

35:02

being so bloody good under

35:04

Cervellix folks, and it's just a dynasty,

35:06

colonistically, impressively

35:08

brilliant. And I always used to joke

35:10

that if United played a eleven that

35:13

in which blood the impaler and I

35:15

even the terrible were

35:18

amongst the eleven. I would cheer for that

35:20

eleven such as my hatred. I've

35:22

actually felt so sorry for

35:24

United fans in this wilderness period. I've

35:26

actually come around to the the

35:28

feeling a

35:28

sadness. I'm almost joyful that they get

35:30

to have joy again, but you know

35:32

what? Glazes don't

35:34

miss. The fact that I got close,

35:36

I think that's when I realized just how

35:38

bad it was. Just thinking, I

35:42

don't know. Actually, I you don't want many this is

35:44

this really the end of this club? And as

35:46

much as I love seeing Roy Keane, just

35:50

speech, let's go, what are you gonna do?

35:52

What are these guys doing?

35:54

Look, it was

35:57

watching Gary Neville just kind of emotionally disintegrate. It

35:59

was it all

36:00

it almost

36:01

got too much for me. And that does when I

36:03

realized, I think this

36:06

The misery cup

36:07

actually won. Do it for Ricky. Do

36:09

it for Ricky. You know, make a

36:11

wish for Ricky. Chelsea

36:14

football club. new

36:16

ownership. That of ballet dodgers, Todd

36:18

Burley. He have aimed fire ready

36:20

strategy, arriving, span of all star

36:23

games are doubling revenue lines is Chelsea

36:25

takeover. It's been a bit like watching a one must

36:28

roll up to Twitter HQ, Karen, The

36:30

Kitchen sink.

36:31

Yeah. I hope I hope that Chelsea fans have got

36:33

some chance about revenue lines coming up because

36:35

that's that's about the only thing that makes sense in

36:37

terms of the strategies there right now. I

36:39

don't really know what the plan is here. No no one

36:42

seems to be able to articulate it. Graham

36:44

Potter, again, has

36:46

a plan As a

36:48

as an individual, he has a plan for

36:50

the kind of football he wants to play. But, you know,

36:52

it's like an episode of I think he

36:54

goes in wanting to make a mistake. Next thing

36:57

you know, someone's throwing a lamb shack

36:59

at him and some jelly. Yeah. That's

37:01

not really what I

37:03

do though. What

37:06

is it with these guys though? The self

37:08

styled billionaire change makers immediately,

37:11

if there's a room, they are instantly whether they're in

37:13

it or not. They are the

37:15

smartest man in

37:17

that room and, you know, when you show, let's break some

37:20

eggs. Sometimes, aren't you just breaking

37:22

eggs? Yes. There's there's

37:24

nothing more baseless than the confidence of

37:26

a billionaire. Right? It's

37:28

basically I do worry that the worst case scenario

37:30

for for Chelsea fans is that

37:32

Burley is basically approaching that

37:34

Elon Musk realization of

37:36

am I the

37:38

world's dumbest smart person

37:40

or am I the world's smartest

37:42

idiots? Because it's one

37:44

of

37:44

those.

37:44

The clue is really when he walks into board meetings, while not

37:47

wearing pants, that is the that is the clue

37:49

that we've moved into the

37:52

into the second realm, which brings us to evidence,

37:54

bite your armor for

37:56

a unsmart billionaire, a

37:59

season so tragic. Honestly

38:01

have been like listening to a

38:04

mashup of Johnny Cash Herr and

38:06

Tracy Chapman Fascar

38:08

for ninety minutes on a loop.

38:10

You know, the demise of Franklin pod, the

38:13

relegation zone, just like the

38:15

players wanted to leave

38:18

on mass Who would wanna save this club? We we are now a

38:20

football club in a way in a way that

38:22

George Santos is a congressman.

38:24

Is it is is taking on this

38:26

job of

38:28

being the manager of everton football club like becoming mayor of Chernobyl

38:30

the day after the nuclear reactor melts them.

38:33

Oh, god. Guess it depends

38:36

what you're taking over for.

38:38

Again, you know better than anyone. That is

38:40

The culture

38:42

outside of who is running that club is

38:44

I know this is a crazy thing to

38:46

say, but the culture of of

38:50

Evan football club is so strong. It's just that is not a

38:52

culture that seems to exist inside the

38:54

board and the people who've been

38:57

running it, this clearly wasn't Frank's

38:59

fault.

38:59

It clearly

39:00

wasn't. It's a poison pill

39:03

this from

39:03

the start. That this is so much sadder though. Like, there's a

39:06

thrill to the great escape last year, isn't there a

39:08

kind of hate all all hands in the

39:10

pump at

39:12

at just

39:13

looks

39:14

really bad. And I just don't know

39:16

what this this manager hunt almost feels

39:18

like the idea

39:19

of, oh, you got no

39:22

ideas then. I am prepared for the worst, John. I am

39:24

my, you know, my children are

39:26

like, why why did you do this to me?

39:28

My dad is

39:30

like, well, know. It's a bit

39:32

like when you find your friend as a terminal cancer, you just wish them an easy and

39:34

quick death and you say

39:36

at least they didn't suffer

39:39

So I think that's right. I think, you know, there's all

39:41

of this there's talk about how

39:44

psychedelic therapy can help end of life care at the

39:46

moment. You have to really give you a

39:48

sense of your position in the world and to take the terror out of

39:49

death. And I do wonder if

39:52

there might be an

39:54

argument for

39:55

Evetton fans

39:55

going to some kind of ketamine therapy over the

39:58

next few months. We've tried that

40:00

for the last ten years, John. I don't want

40:02

to tell you. It's helped a

40:04

little bit, but not enough. Because the

40:06

thing that I loved, I cherish

40:08

that storehouse of value, of

40:10

memory,

40:11

of cross generational you know, collective connectivity. It's in

40:13

the stands. That's it's

40:15

it's just that that's kind of the

40:17

only place it it has a presence

40:18

at the moment. Right? But it's it's about

40:22

to sink below the waterline. It really is becoming a non

40:24

playing character in the Premier League. That

40:26

is what everton know about to become

40:29

Do you have any advice for me

40:31

and fellow evertonians

40:34

about how we should face up

40:36

to this I

40:37

mean, this this this really living, footballing

40:39

truth of Philip Larkin when he said life

40:41

is slow doing.

40:45

Yeah. You're in your

40:48

Philip Larkin. Yes, I do.

40:50

Rather than

40:51

the words come to thoughts

40:53

of high winds, That was one of

40:55

his words. Yes.

40:58

They fuck they fuck you

40:59

up, Bevan. They don't mean to,

41:01

but they do. Oh

41:07

my

41:09

god. I level English. It

41:12

never leaves

41:14

you. But we wanted Philip Law. We got

41:16

Philip Larkin. I mean, can you even relate

41:18

to this? You can't even relate to this. The thing

41:20

you love that keeps you saying, that gives

41:23

you your weekly effects of mild sanity. Yeah. It's about I

41:25

don't think I can.

41:26

I I think it's unfair to

41:28

to pretend that I know

41:30

what you're

41:31

facing here because I

41:34

think in I to

41:35

pretend that with Liverpool as, you

41:37

know, under Wondery,

41:41

Mid table mediocrity is just not

41:44

the same as what you're facing

41:46

here. Right? Because from

41:48

mid mid table mediocrity means

41:50

that, you know, spring planting

41:52

season will come.

41:54

I'm I'm worried. I'm worried, Trevor.

41:57

I think what you need someone with an idea.

41:59

And that idea can't just be perpetual

42:01

survival. So we need new owners. You know,

42:04

Olga Guzmanov is lost

42:06

to us. And

42:09

and to some degree, Liverpool also in the same boat thinking about

42:11

new owners, oligarchs now widely seen

42:13

as no good because Putin

42:15

at this point

42:18

A lot of local fans like the only way for us to keep up with the footballing

42:20

Joneses is to welcome sovereign state

42:23

wealth to to Newcastle to

42:26

Pivot with Saudi Arabia

42:28

to Abu Dhabi to Qatar. If

42:30

Liverpool did take minority investment from

42:32

Qatar, would you be like, we finally got some

42:34

of that sweet old oil money and

42:37

out some cafe or would you be,

42:39

you know, I would prefer to be left

42:41

behind the breaking pack and know that we

42:43

still have the kind of moral high ground

42:45

that typically only Scandinavian

42:45

experience. You know what? I was

42:48

so completely

42:50

sure. That I was gonna say, it's

42:52

not worth it until you set an announcement back at

42:54

you. There you go, oh, well, what?

42:56

They would not waste

42:57

quick, though, his knees,

43:00

really quick. I

43:02

I just

43:03

don't think

43:04

you can morally square

43:06

that. I think

43:07

it's hard It's just an arms race towards

43:10

something that starts to

43:12

fundamentally erode what's great

43:15

about football.

43:17

I just don't I think by participating

43:19

in that particular arms. And

43:21

look, it's all the

43:23

financial fuckery

43:25

around

43:25

football is everywhere. It's just that the

43:28

sovereign state stuff feels like a distinction

43:30

with a real difference to me.

43:32

And I'm just not sure that is

43:34

a line. That I would

43:36

want Liverpool to

43:36

cross. I mean, we all gained to a

43:38

point in which club football is really

43:40

about two fates, which is relegation. Or

43:44

autocratic benefactor. Someone on

43:46

one of my call in shows talked about how

43:48

he longs for the bitter taste

43:51

of dictator owners, which brings

43:53

us to really the chance to reflect

43:55

upon the World Cup experience because we've

43:57

not spoken since Eve of the

43:59

Tournament, which began with complex

44:02

emotions. The armband wars, the

44:04

Germans putting their hands across their

44:06

mouths before kick off the danes, take

44:08

into the field in a subtle protest jerseys. It's got

44:10

to be said that pseudo burn off football did take

44:13

over. And in the

44:15

most ecstatic way, What did you make

44:17

of it? You know, there was there was there was

44:20

really an irony that a World Cup in which

44:22

beer was

44:22

banned, produced the drunkest tournament

44:25

of all time. Definitely. And I guess, like, the biggest distance

44:27

there is between the fact that this is a morally

44:30

bankrupt tournament.

44:34

And the final game is almost the apex of what

44:36

the World Cup can produce in terms

44:38

of what's on the field. And

44:41

I I think it's possible to halt those two thoughts

44:43

in your mind though. I don't think one necessarily

44:45

has to erase the other as it has done in

44:47

the past. I think football was all that

44:49

that's the most frustrating thing about FIFA, isn't

44:51

it? Football is always going to

44:54

produce moments of magic and

44:56

wonder because players are gonna will it into action. We're going to will

44:58

it to happen.

45:00

So it it what it's what

45:02

seems so fundamentally unfair. It was

45:06

not going to fail as a tournament

45:08

because the football was going

45:10

to be spectacular. It seemed anemic

45:13

and antiseptic, the atmosphere in

45:16

the stadium. But what you're

45:18

watching is spectacular.

45:20

So yeah, that final was about

45:23

as good as

45:27

football gets in a

45:29

World Cup context. And it was kind

45:31

of helpful to be reminded immediately after

45:34

that as that

45:36

final whistle goes and they

45:38

start to bring out all

45:41

the kind of guitar World Cup iconography. You

45:43

realize, yeah, and this is this is

45:45

the unfortunate

45:46

aftertaste. That's why that is

45:48

why I appreciate it. much kind of

45:50

shit houseery of the World

45:53

Cup

45:53

goalkeeper at

45:54

the end. Emmy, Emmy Martinez.

45:57

Emmy Martinez. That's

46:00

it. That

46:01

that's amazing. That's amazing. You're right.

46:03

You're right. And by the way, it should be said

46:05

for the record, you came on our live show and

46:07

predicted the entire World

46:09

Cup John. You said, you hope Qatar lose all

46:11

their games. They did. You said,

46:14

you hope Ronaldo would

46:16

play badly. There is a god -- Yeah.

46:18

-- and and she don't like Drakkar on the wall. You hope Lionel Messi would play

46:20

well. Yeah. He listened --

46:22

Yeah. -- Oliver Stradamus we're

46:26

gonna get to Ronaldo in a minute. That hero's journey of

46:28

Lionel Messi, you know, we finally got to

46:30

see him like a DCS at the

46:32

end of the odyssey, reach ithaca.

46:36

He's home at last, and he's

46:38

wearing a beished. Yeah. You

46:40

know, I I I'm fascinated. Your

46:43

your point is the the the the catavers were like, this will

46:45

be the image of Qatar heard around the

46:48

world. And and instead,

46:50

we get

46:51

Emmy Martinez clutching a trophy near

46:53

his genitals. Exactly. But but because

46:55

I think it was never about you. A

46:57

guitar. Right? It was always gonna be

46:59

about the football. That that's the

47:01

thing. It's it's all about you. That's the one thing that you actually

47:03

can't fundamentally mess up. Right?

47:06

Everything else

47:08

has an asterisk on it. And I think why I liked that everyone

47:10

taking this moment so much? Was it is

47:12

reminding me, do you remember years ago at the Brita

47:15

Wars when Jarvis Cocker ran onto

47:18

went around to the

47:19

stage drawing. Yeah. Yeah. He he runs to the stage drawing like Michael

47:21

Jackson. This this I

47:23

get offensively messianic version.

47:26

And and JavaScript is just around to the

47:28

stage. And I think he just like show he just

47:30

showed his ass, showed his bump to the

47:31

crowd, and it felt like a perfect editorial

47:34

comment of

47:35

This is a load of nonsense, isn't

47:37

it? And it the Emmy Martinez felt

47:39

like that for me. Like, you can put

47:41

all that planning. In. You

47:44

could you could throw throw money

47:46

at all the problems. Well, you can't take away.

47:48

It's a goal keep it going. I

47:51

could make this hand look like a penis.

47:52

Jacky, you listen to

47:54

me. There's actually a penis. Jack,

47:58

can you imagine how hard Jack relish

48:00

laughed at

48:01

that. Push my face, Jeremy.

48:04

Push my bigger because

48:06

he's like a golden hand. Does he put his credit

48:08

look like he's willy? Google

48:12

willy? I like

48:14

that guy. Oh my

48:16

god. By the

48:17

way, little messy, quick word on

48:20

him. Were you as excited as

48:22

salt bait?

48:24

Oh oh, I'm

48:25

that I should that

48:28

also felt

48:30

illuminated eighteenth of May of kind of

48:33

Oh, yeah. If

48:33

you had to if you had to

48:36

sum

48:37

up the the drop off between what

48:40

this tournament's produced in a

48:42

football expense. And what is produced in a kind of moral sense.

48:44

It's basically having messy at the greatest

48:46

moment of his life, interrupted

48:49

by Salt Bay. You remember

48:54

me

48:55

from the stakes? Yeah, I do.

48:58

I've just I've

49:01

just cemented my I've just I've

49:03

just written a final chapter of

49:05

my legend. Yeah. do

49:08

that. Can we have a photo? Can I

49:10

touch the

49:11

trophy? Oh, yeah.

49:14

And the fear for president, Johnny

49:16

Infantino, just like, in hotdog

49:18

outfit, really, like, we gotta find a

49:20

guy who did

49:20

this. But that that's I think that's

49:22

what I loved about those moments because those those are

49:25

the memories to me. Like, the

49:27

the football memory is fantastic

49:30

tournament. Those games were

49:32

fantastic. And I think that

49:34

everything

49:35

around beautifully undercut by Emmy

49:38

Martinez and

49:39

Skolbei. They both

49:41

did the right thing.

49:43

I'm gonna ask you very

49:45

quickly. One other prediction of yours, England --

49:47

Yeah. -- court final exit.

49:50

Poor Harrycade. Yeah. He said he hoped

49:52

that he would seize the chance to make out with Beckman Rice in protest

49:54

of Qatar's ban on same sector relations.

49:56

That never happened. But

50:00

God, that core final. When he skied that

50:02

penalty, the chance to become reinforces

50:04

status as a national hero

50:07

against a bloody French

50:09

take us into the jungle of a home, the seed, and what went to

50:11

your mind, agony. I

50:14

walked. I

50:14

just walked. I silently walked

50:16

it. When he skied it, I walked out

50:19

the room because I knew it was And

50:21

my my seven year

50:23

olds followed me out and he

50:24

said, you were okay. And I said,

50:28

not really. And he walked and he

50:30

left.

50:31

The consolation and the wisdom of a

50:34

seven year old that's what

50:36

football reduces us to

50:38

needing. And I was I was glad with

50:40

my response. Not really, I think, is that

50:42

I think that's good parenting response. Rather

50:44

than the humorous ones is, what makes you think I'd be

50:47

okay in this

50:47

moment? Why

50:49

would I be okay?

50:51

God. What is wrong with you? What you

50:54

meant to do as a parent to teach your

50:56

kid good values in their moment

50:58

is to smash your large screen television and get a hundred

51:00

million likes on the sports

51:02

center Twitter

51:04

post I'll tell you what do

51:06

now. That's right. See the TV. Yeah.

51:08

Turn lemons into lemonade,

51:12

lads. Our American boy's job

51:14

did the minimum required to

51:16

make us proud and then frittered

51:18

away the momentum by having their

51:20

manager, Gregbu Holter, and one of

51:22

his closest childhood friends,

51:24

American football royalty, cloudy

51:27

arena, engage in a strange

51:29

power play family feud about which we

51:31

don't fully know the true fact involving

51:33

the next generation black male feel like Tonya Harding

51:35

without the crewbot. I'd I'd say Tonya Harding

51:37

for some exhibits more

51:40

painful hurt full traumatizing

51:42

and long lasting, the emotionally scarring,

51:44

a private memory, and we should

51:46

acknowledge this that involves domestic violence

51:49

unner flung into the public

51:51

court opinion by a lifelong

51:53

friend. I mean, did does this make

51:55

us a real football nation now? We're

51:57

dealing with like Rebecca Rebecca Vadi, Colin

52:00

Rooney, tabloid controversy. Yeah.

52:02

It's, you

52:03

know, what's although it's

52:06

sad, isn't it? Because, like, you have all those

52:08

hopes for the US

52:10

national team with the World Cup and it ends

52:12

in kind of the

52:14

griminess of of a real housewives episode is because there's a soap

52:16

opera quality to the way that this is gonna go

52:17

down. Because I do

52:20

think there's

52:22

it it is not the ideal way for him to lose his job.

52:24

I do think he needed to lose his

52:26

job because I I however,

52:29

if the the answer cannot

52:31

be Moreno. Like, I

52:34

mean, it's hard

52:36

to overstate. The choice that

52:38

Americans have had to make here. Listen, you have

52:40

to host a World Cup. You have more talent than

52:42

I think many people understand you actually are

52:44

sitting on top

52:44

of. Things you you got

52:47

so many opportunities here. Do not

52:49

let that man

52:51

ruin it. Don't have Jose Moreno

52:54

as the US national manager. There there

52:56

are so few things in life I'm completely

52:59

certain about

53:00

that he is

53:01

not the answer to the US's situation

53:03

right now. What what can you spell this out

53:05

for Pugilil? And where when

53:08

he beats El Salvador thirty nil and charges straight

53:10

down the sideline in in glorious if

53:12

his whole life is better. Can you just explain

53:14

to people who don't

53:16

fully understand intense

53:18

mismatch of value and

53:19

Yes. And and you'll put it also, it goes back

53:21

to that what your idea of football is.

53:23

And III think I

53:25

just disagree. That that I see that as football

53:27

of the past. It's a negative kind

53:29

of football. It's it's

53:32

kind of results

53:34

over anything. That's

53:36

what you want as

53:38

your US national team is the

53:40

best possible result you can

53:41

get. And I know this

53:44

sounds crazy Right? Because that's supposedly what you but

53:46

III would make the

53:48

case that most teams aren't gonna win

53:49

the World Cup. So what you wanna make

53:51

is those men the only

53:53

game off every four years. He will give you

53:55

nothing. Oh.

53:57

Fight your robot

54:00

for nothing. I think my

54:02

favorite line about the entire World Cup was

54:04

yours, when you call

54:06

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Qatar

54:08

World Cup of Human beings. And

54:10

lo behold, post tournament,

54:12

he washes up. Having Piers Morgan

54:14

this way out of Manchester United, he

54:17

washes up in the Saudi pro

54:19

league, playing for Wondery for

54:21

a reported two hundred and fourteen

54:23

million dollars a year since reacting as

54:25

a global megaphone for the

54:28

Saudi

54:28

brand. How has it been for you? Has it been

54:30

like watching Ronaldo, the Vegas elvis years? And we never have asked it.

54:32

I mean, that

54:34

that's

54:35

right, artistically, that is

54:38

what it is. Although,

54:40

I

54:41

guess, the tragedy

54:43

with him is physically, he can still

54:45

play. It's just it feels like mentally he's

54:47

not willing to

54:50

play as

54:52

a late career version of himself. So you were

54:55

left with something which is somewhere

54:58

between

54:59

tragic and pathetic. And

55:02

it is a very sad

55:04

way

55:04

for a

55:05

career to end, although I I

55:08

would argue fitting. He said he's

55:10

ending his story, tying

55:12

all the ends together in a way that makes you

55:14

think, yeah, that's a pretty satisfying conclusion to

55:18

this. It was true, I even crazy, though. A deeply competitive

55:20

human being poor out to stud. You know,

55:22

internally, Bonnie Renee and the guardian. He said

55:24

Ronaldo is no longer engaged in

55:26

sport. He's

55:28

an actor. A publicity megaphone, a taller power. He wrote to

55:30

call Ronaldo the highest paid footballer

55:32

in the

55:32

world, is like calling Tom Cruise the

55:35

highest paid fighter pilot. Yeah. I

55:37

think that's the thing. He's doing something else now. And if

55:39

I thought he'd made his peace with that, that'll be one thing,

55:41

but I'm not sure

55:44

he has. And I think that there

55:46

might be some who

55:48

knows? Some dark moments of

55:50

the soul there. Do do you

55:52

remember those But there was that really troubling

55:54

documentary about Paul Gas Going playing in

55:56

China. Do you remember that? He's there's

55:58

there's one shot of him kind

56:00

of sobbing on the bench, and

56:02

he's clearly going through a

56:04

lot. But it did

56:06

seem and he's projecting. It did seem like one of those

56:08

things he was going through was, what am I

56:10

doing here? Like, what what sequels of decisions has

56:12

led to this from all

56:14

the talent that I had and yet I'm

56:16

here. And I

56:18

I would not be surprised if at some point there is a version of

56:20

that. And it it will probably be

56:23

one not alone in a

56:25

hotel room or in one

56:27

of the very many salt

56:30

based steak restaurants that he'll

56:32

have easy booking

56:34

access to. I think it might be on

56:36

a football field as you're looking around at the standard of what's happening around you and

56:38

thinking, what what did I do?

56:42

I'm guessing what he'll then do is say, I made a load of money.

56:44

I'm just gonna resell though.

56:49

Works for me, John, one

56:52

last and important moment from the

56:54

World Cup. Rich Anderson,

56:56

blasting scorching

56:58

goals, and immediately going to do the rational thing,

57:00

getting a giant back tattoo

57:02

which features the faces

57:04

of three Brazilian greats. Nema

57:07

-- Mhmm. -- the original

57:10

Ronaldo. And himself, Rich

57:11

Arlisson, side by side, almost life

57:13

size, beautiful

57:15

right job. Yes. the it's the mountain rush more

57:17

of the back that he's carved.

57:19

That somebody has carved quickly.

57:21

I I will say

57:23

I don't know much about tattoo art. I'm not

57:26

sure that that tattoo artist was working at

57:28

their peak capabilities. And if they were

57:30

working at their

57:32

peak capabilities, he might have gone to someone in a gas

57:34

station.

57:34

I think it's the Mount Rushmore

57:36

of of back air. Is

57:39

is what it is. I think it was actually

57:41

Henry Martinez, looks like he do it left handed.

57:43

But here's what I want now. If you were

57:46

gonna get three people tattooed on the

57:48

Jolloll of the

57:48

back. Who would it

57:50

be? I wouldn't be on it.

57:52

That's for sure. I guess that that's the difference between

57:54

me and the football. It wouldn't be Who

57:57

flanks me? It wouldn't it wouldn't be

57:57

Moosella and the catheter

58:00

cowboy.

58:03

No. I'll take Well, that's

58:05

a good question. I'll take

58:08

Mo

58:09

Sala, Samuel Beckett, and

58:12

Peter Cook.

58:13

God. You're

58:13

gonna clump in Asia. How's he gonna

58:15

be? How's

58:16

he gonna be? Adam driver? Adam

58:19

driver? Adam driver? Oh,

58:21

yeah. God. Let's make

58:21

it. So it's gonna be my gift. I'm getting a gift

58:24

certificate for you for the next

58:26

holidays, John. For you at

58:28

your pleasure

58:30

and pleasure. At Smithy's back tattoo

58:32

in midtown Manhattan, but this

58:34

has been, should say, a relatively dark

58:36

discussion in a lot of regards

58:39

at the end of it, I've still found myself

58:42

excited talking to you about the actual

58:44

football, the memories it

58:46

conjures, the feelings

58:48

it inspires, inside of me. God believe it does maintain a

58:50

place of purity inside all of us. It's always

58:52

important to

58:54

be skeptical about the darkest

58:56

side of football, which is all too real. But, John,

58:58

it is important to allow

59:00

ourselves to be moved by

59:02

the things we grew up

59:04

loving right

59:04

Yeah. It just increasingly feels to me like you have

59:06

to have to protect that place because there

59:08

are outside influences that would that would

59:11

tanked it otherwise. on

59:14

hold

59:14

on to that little birdhouse in your soul

59:16

as they might be giants want

59:19

so movingly sank.

59:20

That's all we've got now as everton fans. They Look there right now. Find a

59:23

light switch,

59:23

Raj, who's watching over you. Got

59:25

a little burst. Just In

59:28

just so

59:29

God bless you. saw the once at Leeds

59:32

University. Which stole

59:32

yeah. Stole the song list, which I

59:35

still have God bless. Bite

59:37

your arm off for some day might be giants,

59:39

bite my arm off for last week tonight,

59:41

which returns for its

59:44

ten season February nineteenth on

59:45

HBO. John Olive, I'm not gonna pretend I feel

59:47

better after this,

59:49

but I'll

59:51

just leave it there.

59:56

Roger,

59:57

I would say it's gonna

1:00:00

be okay. If any part of me thought that it was going to

1:00:02

be. But,

1:00:02

you know,

1:00:03

that's why that

1:00:04

dead lasso footballers life thing just doesn't apply

1:00:06

here. In many ways, footballers' death.

1:00:10

It's a part of

1:00:11

life. Oh, fight your own off for quick death. You're on

1:00:13

the side of truth. I love you. You

1:00:15

beautiful him a big carriage. Hey,

1:00:22

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