''The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.''— Ernest Hemingway, ''A Farewell to Arms''

Among many things that are true of the human condition in general and men in particular, is the fact that we are broken. Not insecure, not immature, and certainly not just needing to learn how to be better...

No — all men are broken.

'I cried when I was born', wrote George Herbert once, 'and every day shows why.'

Indeed it does. The world, and all who live in it, have once cried tears of pain, sorrow, or regret — or are certain to do so at some point in the future; so how can we think that we have somehow escaped this (literally) heart-breaking reality?

The condition of the broken inner being — the heart, as I call it — is within us all; we are all sufferers.

Years and decades of slow erosion of hopes, dreams and aspirations, the soul-deep cutting of violence and abuse, the lack of attention, touch, and affirmation — it all damages the spirit, it all breaks the heart.

And it all creates deep hunger: it fuels hidden compulsions, lusts, and cravings.

If we take this to be true, then, and acknowledge that we are all damaged, broken, and hurting inside, we must then allow ourselves to look toward another reality...

We must look at the ways in which we have dealt with that pain.

The pain is present: there is no doubt. But what are we doing with it?

The answer, according to years of painful experience, is this:

We medicate it. We numb it. Using food, work, sex, or hobbies — things that are not bad by themselves — we try to fill the gaping hole within, to heal the pain that would not go away...

Some crave intimacy, and try to fill the void with sex.

Some long for safety, and control their world and those who share it with them.

Some try to flee their pain, and numb themselves with drugs.

Some try to flee their weakness, and are obsessed with being strong.

Some feel no worth at home, and hide behind their work.

Some long to be affirmed in who they are, and seek approval from the outer world...

Long is the list of human addictions, and deep is the brokenness of men. And so, if we want to move toward being the men we want to be, we must first admit these two things to ourselves:

We are all broken.

We are all addicted.

The first statement needs no defending; the second needs an honest look.Ask yourself, if you will — what are my addictions? What are those things, activities or possessions, that you would rather die, than live without?

Yes — broken; all of us. Broken.

Yet, there is hope — at least for those who are too tired to run from their pain and medicate it with addictions.

We must go the opposite way. We must ask ourselves not only what our addictions are, but, most importantly, what pain are we medicating with them...

Because, you see, pain doesn't have to have the final word. We can face our wounds, and not only survive, but actually be healed as well.

Imagine that... Healed. Restored. Free to live.

And strong. At last, strong.

Strong in the broken places.

Sound good, doesn't it?

But not too good to be true — not for those who are brave enough to turn around and face that which they have been running from.

Courage — you are brave.

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