0:00

Hi,

0:00

folks. It's Joe. I want to tell you

0:02

about another show today that

0:04

I think you might like. It's called Carlspace.

0:07

Now if you're interested in the mysterious,

0:09

the harrowing, the bizarre, then I think you

0:11

might like crawl space. So this

0:13

is where crime and culture

0:16

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0:18

Lance, and Jen cover a wide

0:20

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0:23

conspiracy theories, French

0:26

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0:28

expert guests, so whether you're interested

0:30

in criminology or

0:32

Cryptozoology there's an

0:34

episode for every true crime addict.

0:36

Now, I particularly enjoyed the

0:39

interview with Charlotte Laws, the

0:41

woman who took down the revenge porn industry.

0:43

I was also really interested in the DB

0:46

Cooper episode because where is he

0:48

y'all You can't go wrong with

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adding crawl space to your rotation. There's

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and mysteries on Apple podcasts. Spotify,

0:59

or wherever you listen to podcasts.

1:02

Hi, folks. It's Joe. I wanna tell you about

1:04

another show today that shows called missing.

1:07

For five years, the missing

1:09

team investigated the disappearance of

1:11

woman named Mara Murray. And

1:13

since then, they have expanded their

1:16

mission to raising awareness for

1:18

the stories of other missing people, homicides,

1:20

injustices, all of it sourced

1:22

from the nonprofit, private investigations

1:26

for the missing. Missing helps

1:28

raise awareness, elicit tips,

1:30

and put pressure on police

1:32

to keep searching. Tim, Lance,

1:35

and Jen are your weekly dose of harrowing

1:37

stories and hopeful findings

1:39

you won't want to miss. You can start with

1:42

their original incredibly thorough

1:44

five year long deep dive into

1:47

the disappearance of Mara Murray. You

1:49

can listen to many of the other stories

1:51

of people who have disappeared can also

1:53

check out one of their researcher roundtables

1:56

where they have discussion with people

1:58

who are in the business of finding

1:59

missing people a sort of peek under

2:02

the hood. You can't go wrong with adding

2:04

missing to your rotation. There's never a dull

2:06

episode. Just search for missing

2:09

on Apple podcasts spotify,

2:11

or wherever you listen to podcasts.

2:15

Midnight Burger will always be free to listen to

2:17

but it's not free to make. So please consider

2:19

supporting us on Patreon or Apple

2:21

podcasts. For early access,

2:23

ad free shows, exclusive content,

2:26

and our enduring gratitude. Just

2:28

go to patreon dot com slash midnight

2:30

burger or subscribe on Apple

2:32

Podcasts.

2:39

Previously on midnight

2:41

burger.

2:44

You are chasing a sort of thing.

2:49

A strange attractor.

2:51

You were always wants

2:54

to behold. You

2:57

must be strange. You

3:02

must be the center of

3:05

chaos so that

3:07

it becomes drawn

3:09

to you.

3:18

You're all great. God's

3:21

most desperate. Things

3:25

that cannot exploit. And

3:28

you have been travelling to

3:30

the broken places. We

3:34

can only find out

3:45

I

3:49

do not know what will happen. I

3:53

cannot find the other.

3:57

Let's

3:57

start the shift.

4:21

Verizon hotel?

4:23

Yes. No.

4:26

We don't have a website.

4:29

Uh-huh.

4:31

Yes. I understand. Well,

4:35

ma'am, you can actually make a reservation

4:37

with me right now on the phone. It's

4:40

been done. Uh-huh.

4:42

Sure. You

4:45

can call back. We

4:49

need to get a website. If I wanna do that,

4:53

of course, I do. If you

4:54

get a website, then more people will come

4:56

here and that's more work

4:58

for me. Don't do that to me.

4:59

You had to clean one room today.

5:01

But what a room it

5:04

was? Those people

5:06

were a mess. Dude, what was

5:08

there, Dale? I think they were skiers. It's not

5:10

ski season. Getting

5:10

an early start. They

5:11

were doing something strange with the

5:14

trash cans.

5:14

I don't wanna know we're going

5:16

to need more than one guest per night

5:19

to stay above water.

5:20

Yes. But what about my

5:22

needs? Like my need to

5:24

get paid for doing very

5:25

little. Can you at least

5:27

pretend I'm your boss? No.

5:30

Hey, you know

5:31

what I heard at the bar last night?

5:34

I heard this place was in a

5:36

meth

5:36

corridor. What is

5:38

a meth corridor? It's,

5:40

you

5:41

know, the corridor through which

5:43

meth moves. What are you talking about?

5:45

People steal cars and then

5:47

they use stolen cars to move

5:49

meth around the state. They don't want

5:51

to get pulled over, so they stick to

5:53

the

5:53

back roads. Boom. Meth

5:55

corridor. And we're in

5:58

The meth corridor?

5:59

Yes.

6:01

And who did you hear this from?

6:04

Edgy Steve.

6:08

Egi. Steve? Yeah.

6:13

You know someone named

6:15

Egi Steve.

6:16

I mean, I don't know him,

6:19

know him, but I see him sometimes.

6:21

He's around.

6:21

And how does

6:24

EDG,

6:24

Steve, know about

6:27

the meth courtador. He's

6:29

a

6:29

meth dealer.

6:32

Great.

6:32

Let me

6:33

ask you this. A lot

6:34

of people checking in driving Saturn's.

6:37

Saturn?

6:40

Sometimes, I guess, most

6:42

stolen car in America.

6:45

Saturns are

6:47

you can start them just by shoving a

6:49

flathead screwdriver in the ignition.

6:52

But

6:52

then who would want to steal a satter?

6:54

People

6:54

doing illegal things

6:58

like

7:00

transporting meth through the meth corridor.

7:02

Right. How often

7:04

do people check-in driving a Saturn?

7:09

Often.

7:12

They pay in cash?

7:15

Yes.

7:18

We're in a

7:20

mess. Corridor. Yep. Jesus

7:23

Christ. Hey. Their money's

7:25

green. Their money is

7:27

drug money.

7:28

Don't worry about it. The

7:30

Hilton family started out as brothel

7:33

owners. You should own it too.

7:35

You don't want their business to go into the Red Roofing

7:37

or whatever. That's your drug money. How did

7:39

my dad

7:40

not tell me about this.

7:42

He probably didn't even know.

7:43

He probably

7:45

stood behind the counter and was like,

7:47

oh, well, another fine gentleman staying

7:49

at our establishment.

7:51

With hives and a face tattoo,

7:53

what are they odd?

7:54

Someone's going to get shot here

7:56

over a drug deal gone wrong.

7:59

Or something.

7:59

No,

7:59

dude. You're not the destination for the

8:02

drugs.

8:02

You're in the corridor

8:04

for the drugs. It's harmless. Harmless.

8:07

Yeah. I had done

8:09

that for real.

8:12

Phone ringing. I don't want

8:14

to pick up the phone wait. What

8:16

if it's to go salamanca.

8:18

The

8:18

meth people don't make reservations.

8:20

Shame us.

8:24

Excuse me. Horizon

8:27

Motel. How can I help you?

8:30

Hello. Again, ma'am,

8:33

Yes. I know. We we should have

8:35

a website.

8:38

Okay.

8:40

Two nights. On the

8:42

fifth?

8:43

Okay. We'll see you then.

8:46

Oh. Two

8:47

nights in a

8:48

row. I'm

8:50

not doing turndown service.

8:52

You don't know

8:52

what turndown service is. You won't

8:54

make me learn.

8:58

Shit. Oh,

8:59

damn. Did you not pay the

9:01

elect Bill. I did

9:04

barely.

9:05

Probably just the wind or

9:08

something.

9:08

Or The

9:10

secret military base down the

9:12

road? There's

9:13

not a secret military base

9:15

down the road. How would

9:17

you know? It's a see.

9:20

Congrats. Okay.

9:24

Hey. What are you doing

9:25

tonight? It's funny. How you ask me

9:28

that, like, there's a series

9:29

of balls that I've been invited

9:31

to. You're going to the bar. I

9:33

am. Are

9:34

you coming? I am going to sit here

9:37

for a while and try to convince

9:39

myself that someone's going to show up. And then

9:41

when I give up on that dream, I'll

9:43

see you there. Okay.

9:45

But if

9:45

edgy Steve's there, no

9:48

shock talk about the drug trade debate

9:50

criminal, don't bring

9:50

your work home. Please leave.

9:53

I love you? Yeah. I love you.

10:04

What'd you forget? Hey.

10:08

June.

10:10

Remember

10:12

our fun jokes about you being

10:14

in the drug trade. Like

10:16

it

10:16

was yesterday. That

10:19

was fun. Right? I

10:22

had a great time. That

10:23

was some fun humor to try

10:25

to get you to not freak out about things

10:27

like you usually do. True.

10:29

So Keep

10:31

that in mind when I tell

10:34

you that there's a woman

10:36

passed out in the parking lot.

10:40

What?

10:41

Yeah.

10:47

Who

10:54

is that?

10:56

No idea. We don't

10:58

have any guests. She's

11:01

alive. I can see her breathing.

11:05

Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am,

11:08

can you hear me?

11:09

Ma'am, are

11:12

you way stead. What are you doing? I

11:14

don't want it. I'm

11:14

calling an ambulance. You

11:17

didn't see a woman passed out in the

11:19

parking lot? No. I walked

11:21

out and she was there. What the

11:23

fuck?

11:24

Ma'am. It feels weird to call

11:26

her ma'am.

11:27

Yeah. We need

11:29

an ambulance. Yeah. This

11:31

is the horizon hotel up on

11:34

two eleven. Yeah.

11:36

There's a woman passed out in

11:38

our parking lot. I

11:40

don't

11:40

know. No.

11:43

No. She is not a

11:45

guest. She was

11:47

just there all of a sudden.

11:50

No, she's breathing. She's

11:53

not waking up. Though,

11:54

hey, lady? No. That

11:57

feels me.

11:57

Yep. Frank Simmons.

12:00

Okay. Yeah.

12:03

Add this number. Okay.

12:06

Hey, girlfriend. What

12:09

are you doing?

12:10

Don't know.

12:13

No shit.

12:15

Fuck. Ma'am,

12:17

Are you

12:18

okay? We called an ambulance okay?

12:24

Ma'am,

12:25

is that

12:29

the sky.

12:40

Doctor Nate, please report to grow

12:42

fifteen. This is my third time

12:43

following. Sorry if I

12:46

screwed up your evening.

12:47

This is fun.

12:49

If

12:49

you go to the bar every night, you run out

12:51

of stories to tell. You know?

12:53

sure Sure.

12:59

What

12:59

do you think she was on?

13:00

On? She

13:02

was

13:02

on something. Right? I

13:04

don't know.

13:06

Is that the sky? That's not what

13:08

sober people say? I

13:10

don't know. Is it mushroom season?

13:13

When's

13:13

mushroom season? She's probably on mushrooms.

13:15

How did she

13:15

get in our parking lot? I mean,

13:17

there there were no cars going by.

13:20

Right? I don't think

13:20

so. Excuse me. Nurse,

13:23

when's mushroom season? The only thing in

13:25

front of

13:25

us is the two eleven. Behind

13:28

us is the woods. She

13:30

either came from the woods or the

13:32

highway.

13:32

Doctor Nate, please report to

13:35

room fifteen. This is my third time call.

13:37

I'm going with mushrooms. Her and

13:39

her friends were off in the woods doing

13:41

mushrooms, and she wandered off. Yeah.

13:43

Yeah.

13:43

You're probably right. Did you say

13:45

anything else in the ambulance? No.

13:50

That's not safe, hallucinating in the

13:53

woods. How can that be a good trip?

13:54

Where else are they supposed to

13:56

go? This is

13:57

a business opportunity. Hey,

13:59

kids. Sick

13:59

of the woods coming to life and

14:02

trying to eat you while you're tripping your nuts

14:04

off. Come to the horizon

14:06

motel. I

14:06

just learned. That I'm

14:08

running a meth lodge.

14:10

You want to add the mushroom

14:12

people

14:12

to that? I mean, you

14:14

can't be more of a drug hotspot.

14:16

You either are or you aren't. Might as

14:19

well own it. You

14:20

have had zero business

14:22

ideas since I took this place over,

14:24

but Suddenly, there's

14:26

illegal narcotics involved,

14:29

and you have had

14:31

two in one night. I go where the

14:33

money is. You live in Central

14:35

Oregon. That's not

14:37

where the money is.

14:37

I was born here. I'm not going

14:39

to go live somewhere else. That's

14:42

exhausting.

14:42

Was she

14:48

wearing a jumpsuit? Yeah.

14:51

Like a jiffy lube type thing. Right?

14:53

Yeah. What's

14:55

that about? No idea.

14:58

Was

14:58

there a name tag or anything?

14:59

No. They couldn't find any

15:02

ID on her. Doctor

15:03

Nate, please report to room fifteen.

15:05

This

15:05

is my third time calling.

15:07

That is the third time

15:09

doctor Nate has gotten his third

15:11

call. Someone needs to crack the whip on that

15:13

guy.

15:14

I feel weird. Me

15:16

too. I mean, this is really

15:18

weird. Right? Yeah.

15:19

Confirmed. It's fun, though.

15:22

Is it?

15:23

Yeah. We got a

15:25

little mystery dropped at our lap. It's

15:27

fun. You know, people come through

15:29

town, from California or whatever,

15:31

and they're in a road trip, look for some kind

15:33

of twin peaks vibe. Yeah.

15:35

Because if you're

15:36

not from here, you think that's what it's like. Right? You

15:38

think that there's a well meaning

15:40

Sheriff and a mystery in the

15:41

woods. They do. When,

15:43

actually, it's just it's

15:46

kinda sad. And

15:48

the

15:48

sheriff is a fucking asshole and everyone

15:51

needs a and everyone's

15:52

dog is me.

15:53

Everyone's dog is me.

15:57

Anyway,

15:57

that's what it's really

15:59

like,

15:59

but now look at us. A

16:02

mysterious woman has emerged from the woods.

16:08

Favorite Twin Peaks character Go.

16:11

ah

16:13

Ed, you're totally an ed

16:15

person.

16:16

Guess mine.

16:18

Doctor

16:21

Jacoby. No way. Audrey

16:23

Born. Really?

16:25

We're both sexpots.

16:27

I see. We

16:29

are pots of sex.

16:32

Gross. I'm going to go

16:34

check on her. I'm I'm

16:36

I'm I am allowed to do that. Right?

16:38

Honestly, I don't think anyone's paying

16:41

attention to us. I think you can do whatever you

16:43

want. Yep.

16:45

I'll

16:45

be right back.

16:46

Doctor Nate, please report to

16:48

room fifteen. This is my third time

16:50

call. Okay, doctor Nate.

16:52

Let's get it together. Doctor she's

16:54

calling you for the

16:56

third time, for the fourth

16:58

time. What if someone's died?

17:00

SHE'S GONE.

17:02

WHAT? SHE'S GONE. THERE'S NOBODY

17:04

IN THERE. DID THEY MOVE? DID THEY add HER

17:06

ON SOME FLUARDS? THE IV

17:08

IS JUST LYING ON THE GRAND out. Shit.

17:11

Did she escape? I didn't see her leave.

17:13

Did you know what the

17:15

fuck is happening? Doctor

17:16

Nate, please report to room fifteen.

17:19

This is my third time

17:21

here.

17:26

Horizon

17:30

hotel?

17:33

the horizon motel

17:35

Yeah. Okay. No.

17:38

I'm sorry. We're all

17:40

booked up that day. That whole

17:43

week. Actually. Do you want me to

17:45

put you on the waitlist in case someone

17:47

cancels?

17:49

okay Okay.

17:50

Okay. Got it. I'll give you a call

17:53

in case anyone cancels. Thanks.

17:55

The joint. She is a

17:57

job bank. Come in here.

17:59

I've

17:59

never seen this many cars in the parking lot. Do

18:02

you recall a

18:02

conversation we had a few months ago?

18:05

You said I should open up the motel to

18:07

people who wanted to safely

18:09

trip on mushrooms.

18:10

Sorry. I don't recall that

18:13

conversation.

18:13

We were at the hospital.

18:16

We dropped off a woman

18:18

she disappeared. Yeah. It's

18:19

not ringing a bell. Okay.

18:22

We've been booked solid for two

18:24

weeks. It's great. Right? There are

18:28

definitely several people

18:30

here tonight who are

18:32

high on mushrooms.

18:33

Now, really, What

18:35

have

18:35

you done?

18:36

Me? Yes.

18:39

You. Frank,

18:39

I'm sure. I don't know what you're talking

18:42

about. June.

18:42

I may

18:43

have put the word out there.

18:45

What word did you put out

18:47

there? Nothing.

18:48

Just that, you know,

18:50

the horizon motel was a

18:53

safe

18:53

space. You told people to

18:55

come get high here.

18:57

That it was a safe space.

18:59

A safe space for what? For

19:02

getting high.

19:04

God damn it. You were going out of

19:07

business, Frank. The

19:08

Sheriff's Department is going to start

19:11

rating us then no one will want to come

19:13

here and then we'll go out of

19:15

business. Do you wanna go out of

19:16

business quietly or do it in

19:18

a blaze of glory? Neither

19:20

neither neither.

19:22

I wanted neither

19:24

of those things. I I wanted

19:27

a third There's no third thing. How do you know?

19:29

Frank, it's going to be

19:30

fine. It's going to be

19:31

great. They're gonna write

19:33

songs about this place. This

19:36

isn't the Chelsea hotel,

19:38

not with

19:38

that attitude. Come

19:41

outside. I don't wanna go

19:43

outside. It smells weird.

19:45

Come outside. It's like burning man

19:47

with trees

19:49

out there. On

19:50

summer's almost over. Soon it'll be

19:52

rainy and shitty. Come

19:55

outside.

19:56

Fine.

19:59

Come

20:04

on. Isn't this

20:07

great? What is

20:09

that smell? Don't ask about the smell.

20:12

Is something on that isn't supposed to

20:14

be. Okay. Okay.

20:18

Fine.

20:20

What now? Frankie, this

20:23

is your intervention.

20:24

Oh, it

20:27

is. Yes. Well, I

20:29

am definitely not the one in the vicinity

20:31

that needs an intervention.

20:34

Room nine, Maybe

20:36

you've

20:36

been different since the

20:37

funeral.

20:40

Yeah. It was my dad's funeral.

20:43

I know. It was tough for all

20:45

of us, but

20:46

I read something.

20:49

You read something.

20:51

I read.

20:53

It was about grief. It was about losing a

20:56

loved

20:56

one. June.

20:57

And it said

20:59

that sometimes when a person loses

21:01

a loved one, They can as a way

21:03

of coping, take on the

21:06

personality traits of the person

21:08

they've lost. Uncle

21:10

Pete was a pretty buttoned up guy. Like,

21:12

literally, he's the only guy I knew who used the

21:14

top button of a shirt. Okay.

21:16

And you've been a little, you know,

21:18

top button

21:20

of your shirt these days. And so

21:22

I wanted to drag you out here

21:24

and say, hey, stop it.

21:27

Is this

21:29

why you've turned my hotel

21:31

into a drug then? A

21:34

little. Look,

21:34

I'm not expecting you to

21:36

rip your shirt off and run through the

21:38

woods or anything. I'm just saying, I

21:41

would like my cousin Frank

21:43

to remain My cousin Frank

21:45

is

21:45

all. Okay.

21:47

Okay. I will remain

21:51

cousin Frank. Thank

21:52

you.

21:54

Hi. Holy

21:59

shit.

21:59

Is that the way I think it is?

22:01

It is. Well,

22:04

shit.

22:06

Hey there. Do you remember

22:09

me? Well,

22:09

last time we saw you, you were

22:12

unconscious in our parking lot,

22:14

kinda sticks in your memory.

22:16

I guess so. Are

22:20

You

22:21

okay? Yeah.

22:23

I I'm

22:26

really sorry. About all

22:28

that. It broke up the monotony.

22:30

You disappeared from the

22:32

hospital. Yeah.

22:33

Sorry about that. It just kinda

22:36

happened. It happens to me all the time.

22:38

Oops, I disappeared from the hospital. I

22:40

guess,

22:40

we were confused. More

22:43

than anything. I mean, me

22:46

too. I I'm

22:49

Frank. This is my cousin.

22:51

Too. Hi. So

22:55

what

22:55

happened to

22:58

you? I brought this

23:01

six pack of beer here.

23:03

I heard that's a thing people do. Is that

23:05

a thing people do?

23:07

Sure. Sure. Can

23:10

I give you

23:11

one?

23:14

So

23:15

what's your name?

23:19

Clementine.

23:19

i'm and time Okay.

23:22

okay

23:23

Interesting. Is that a good

23:26

name?

23:26

Is it good? I

23:30

I picked

23:32

it

23:33

myself. Oh, really? She

23:36

picked it herself. She like a

23:38

nun? Or What made

23:40

you pick that

23:40

name? I like oranges. Satsuma

23:43

was taken.

23:44

What? So

23:46

you're you're okay. Then,

23:48

I mean, we we found you in

23:50

our parking lot. We took you to

23:52

the hospital. Now you're back.

23:55

But you were fine.

24:01

i'm

24:03

My name is Clementine because I had to pick

24:05

a name.

24:06

I didn't

24:07

have 11I

24:12

could remember.

24:15

Wait.

24:16

Oh, fuck. Did

24:18

you have amnesia? That's

24:21

called yes. When you found me here, I had no idea who

24:23

I was or where I was, but

24:26

still don't.

24:28

Wow. Okay.

24:33

She has amnesia. She

24:35

does.

24:35

She has amnesia. I'm

24:38

sorry. We were making fun of you a little bit

24:40

just now because we thought

24:42

that you were just kind of coke,

24:44

but it turns out you've got some damage to

24:46

your branch here. It's okay. Did

24:48

any of it come back? Not really. Small

24:51

bits and pieces. Amnesia is a real

24:54

thing then. I thought it was just a

24:56

thing in the movies. It's definitely

24:58

a thing.

24:58

That's wild. I I'm so

25:01

sorry. What do you

25:03

remember?

25:04

Weird stuff. Like

25:07

what what?

25:08

Like, I

25:11

know

25:11

a lot about beats. Beats.

25:15

Yeah.

25:15

yeah What

25:16

a random thing to remember.

25:18

I know. Right? It's

25:19

been months. Have you just

25:22

been wandering around

25:24

trying to remember things.

25:27

Essentially, just around

25:29

town? No.

25:31

I've been traveling.

25:36

I'm a good at

25:38

traveling apparently. Okay.

25:40

How long has it

25:40

been since you found me?

25:44

Six months.

25:46

Yeah. About that. That's it.

25:48

I think so. It's felt like a

25:50

lot longer. There's a lot

25:52

more people here now. Did

25:54

you get out of the hospital? We were sitting right outside your

25:56

room. I don't know. I don't know how

25:58

it all actually

25:59

works. How what works? Just

26:02

it was weird. I don't

26:04

remember much. I remember this place though.

26:06

I've been wandering around trying to figure things out

26:08

and I thought maybe I should come back here.

26:10

So how can we help? I don't know. Does

26:13

anything

26:13

stand out from when I was here?

26:15

Stand out. Pretty

26:16

much the whole thing stands out. Yeah. It

26:19

was the weirdest thing

26:21

that's ever happened to us.

26:23

Yeah. The the jumpsuit. Right?

26:25

You were

26:25

wearing a jumpsuit like a

26:28

cover all thing like you were a mechanic,

26:30

really? Yeah.

26:31

When you disappeared from the hospital,

26:33

the police showed up and and they

26:36

took it. I think you could probably get it from the station.

26:38

They they probably have it in a box

26:40

somewhere. I am just

26:40

not realizing that because you

26:43

left your clothes behind, you

26:45

escaped the hospital with your ass

26:47

hanging out.

26:48

Power move. Oh.

26:50

You know, you said

26:52

something when you first woke up. I

26:54

did. Yeah.

26:55

Is

26:57

that the

26:58

sky? Is

27:00

that the sky?

27:02

It was weird. It was

27:03

I I know this

27:05

sounds ridiculous, but you

27:08

had this look on your

27:10

face, like, Like

27:13

you'd never

27:13

seen it before.

27:15

The sky?

27:17

Yeah. Who's

27:18

never seen the sky before? No. Anglerfish.

27:21

What? It's a

27:22

deep sea fish, you know, anglerfish

27:25

Pacific, Viperfish never seen

27:27

the sky what? Are

27:28

you a deep sea fish? I

27:30

hope not. Okay. Great.

27:33

Well, we eliminated that

27:35

sea. I'm helping. Is that

27:38

the sky? Look, I I'm I'm sure

27:40

it's not like putting a hammer to

27:42

a nail. I I'm sure it's

27:44

it'll all come back to you soon. I

27:46

don't know.

27:47

You know that

27:48

feeling when something's right on the tip of

27:51

your tongue? It feels like that.

27:53

No, it doesn't. That's the thing. It feels

27:55

like

27:56

it feels like

27:57

it's gone. Well,

27:59

in my experience, things

28:02

feel a certain way and then

28:05

they and then and then

28:07

they

28:07

don't. That

28:09

was beautiful. Thank you.

28:11

I know

28:12

you think I'm not helping, but I

28:14

am totally helping. Don't worry about it.

28:16

I didn't

28:17

think coming here would change much. I just thought I'd

28:19

give it a shot.

28:20

No. Fuck. That's the phone. I'll

28:23

be right back. Just let it ring. You can't

28:25

let it June, it's probably federal

28:27

agents. I'll be right back.

28:30

So

28:33

you

28:33

two are related? Yeah.

28:36

Were cousins. But

28:38

my dad worked on a fishing boat and my mom

28:40

worked late, so I was over at their house

28:43

a lot. That's nice. Yeah. Being

28:45

a sister

28:45

cousin is great because I can

28:47

constantly shift between big sister and

28:49

little sister vibes. One

28:52

minute, I can be like, what do I do? Big

28:54

brother, and the next minute, I can be like, shut up.

28:56

Do what I say. Okay.

28:58

Do you have any

29:01

siblings? Shit.

29:03

I can't believe I just said that.

29:05

I'm so sorry. That's okay.

29:07

Maybe I do. What does

29:08

it feel like to have siblings?

29:10

Does it feel like there's

29:12

someone out there and

29:15

they can truly understand what your

29:17

childhood was like? No.

29:19

I definitely don't feel that way.

29:21

Who knows?

29:22

Maybe they're out there somewhere.

29:25

Would be nice. What kind

29:27

of

29:28

beer is this? I've

29:30

never seen it before. Voyager. I

29:32

just like the name. I got

29:35

it in

29:36

a place called Tokyo. A

29:38

place

29:38

called Tokyo.

29:41

Yeah. In

29:43

Japan, I

29:46

don't

29:46

know. You

29:48

you don't No.

29:51

Wait. You were in Tokyo?

29:54

Yes. Which is

29:57

several thousand miles away. In

29:59

Japan. But

30:00

you didn't

30:02

know that. I

30:05

should go. Hang on. I

30:07

should go. You probably have stuff to do. It's really

30:09

busy. Wait a minute, though. I brought you something

30:11

else. I just I feel

30:13

so bad about all the trouble I

30:15

caused you. Here.

30:18

What? Is this? I

30:20

don't know. I don't

30:22

know what it is. It's just just look pretty,

30:24

so I thought it looked like a gift, so

30:26

I would give it to you for the time.

30:28

I'm going to go. Just wait a

30:30

minute. Thank you. Thank you for finding me. Is it okay if

30:32

I come back since Of course. But listen.

30:35

Okay. I need to go. I've got I've got

30:37

a lot to learn. Where did you

30:40

get this?

30:42

Climin'

30:42

tight, what in

30:45

holy god?

30:49

Hey.

30:50

Where'd you

30:51

go?

30:55

June?

30:56

She left.

30:58

Where

30:58

did she go? She just

31:00

started walking down the road.

31:02

Just all of a sudden.

31:05

Frank,

31:07

something weird is going

31:09

on. Thanks for that. Well,

31:11

yeah. She

31:12

she left us a gift,

31:15

Frank, what here.

31:22

Uh-huh.

31:22

ah

31:24

This.

31:27

Uh-huh.

31:30

Fizz.

31:33

Looks like a

31:36

bar of It's

31:37

a gold bar.

31:40

She gave us a gold bar. Is

31:41

it real? Well, let me get out

31:44

my testing kit. What

31:47

fuck a fuck indeed, my friend.

31:49

Who is

31:50

this perishable stetskin

31:53

baby? What is the writing? Say.

31:55

The Perth meant.

31:57

Perth yeah.

31:59

In Australia. I

32:02

guess.

32:02

Sure.

32:04

You know that point where you

32:06

just get so many weird things have

32:08

happened that you just start shrugging your shoulders.

32:10

I have arrived at that point. How much is

32:12

this worth? Fuck. I don't know. We don't even

32:14

know if

32:15

it's real. What is happening?

32:18

Also, she

32:19

got the

32:20

beer in Tokyo,

32:22

which she did not realize,

32:24

was thousands of miles

32:26

across the ocean. Just

32:28

to put a cherry on top

32:31

of the weird sundae. Which

32:32

way did she go? She was walking

32:34

towards the highway. Come on. Come

32:36

on. This is insane. I was gonna stop her. Put a

32:38

few pounds of gold in my hand. Turns out,

32:41

puts me in a bit of a sneezing act in the

32:43

parking lot. My hotel is a

32:45

drug puzzle. Now strangers, Biren

32:47

gold. What what's next? I don't

32:49

know. Can I

32:49

hold it again while we're walking? It is a good

32:52

feeling.

32:52

Here.

32:54

Oh,

32:55

yeah. That's the

32:57

stuff. Amazing. Do not

32:59

get attached to it. It

33:01

might be stolen. Do you want to come

33:03

home with mommy, gold baby. She

33:07

Do you

33:08

see her? I don't.

33:11

Well, Where

33:13

the fuck did she go? Maybe she hits her ride in

33:16

sixty seconds. I don't know.

33:18

What is

33:21

happening. I don't know.

33:27

either

33:29

Just

33:40

swung by and gave

33:41

us a beer from Japan

33:44

at a go park

33:46

from Australia. It's

33:47

like what happened.

34:01

Well, what

34:03

now?

34:41

Hey.

34:42

Hey. What do

34:44

you think? Do you think winners

34:48

here? I feel

34:49

like the snow is a

34:51

clear indicator winter here. Yes. Are

34:54

we usually full of skiers right now?

34:56

Well, there's a jackknife truck

35:00

a few miles back. People have been stuck for hours.

35:02

Really excited about how

35:03

grumpy they're gonna be when

35:05

they check-in.

35:06

It's gonna be great.

35:08

We've never skied.

35:11

Isn't that

35:11

weird? Most of

35:14

our lives in

35:16

the shadow of the misty mountain and we've never skied. No.

35:18

The way

35:19

I see it, life

35:21

itself is already a too

35:24

fast careening down a mountain

35:26

without any breaks.

35:28

Why do it twice? Easy

35:31

there, Cormark McCarthy. What are you what

35:33

are you looking at? There.

35:36

What? That same car

35:39

keeps driving by. It

35:43

does? Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah.

35:45

Yellow Chevy Chabille.

35:47

How many times?

35:48

Four

35:49

times today.

35:52

You didn't dump

35:55

someone. Did you are you

35:57

being stocked? I

35:58

don't feel

35:59

stocked. What's the big bed?

36:01

Nothing. Nothing. It's

36:04

fine. Are all the

36:06

faucets running a little bit?

36:08

Yes. I

36:09

still think that's weird, but all the

36:11

facets are running just a little. It

36:13

keeps them from

36:14

freezing up.

36:17

Out. If water wants

36:18

to freeze, it's going to freeze.

36:19

Fries have water in them even if

36:21

they're not being used. If you keep it

36:24

moving, they can't freeze

36:26

up. That might be

36:26

the most I've been at old man since

36:29

I was twelve, thing you've ever said.

36:31

Doesn't make

36:31

it not true.

36:34

I

36:38

am

36:41

finally ready

36:43

to talk about the gold

36:46

bar? No.

36:47

Yes.

36:49

Finally, I

36:50

realize it's been a

36:53

while. A

36:53

while since the weirdest thing

36:55

that's ever happened to us? Yes, it

36:57

has. It scared the

36:58

shit out of me. Everything scares the shit

37:00

out of you. No. It

37:02

doesn't. Sorry. Most things Did it

37:04

ever occur to you that the reason I have

37:06

to freak out about things, like, I

37:08

don't know, a a random huge

37:10

bar of gold being dropped in our lap is

37:13

because you don't

37:16

freak out about it

37:18

enough? No. But also,

37:20

my brain isn't made of bees

37:22

like yours's. What? Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzz all

37:25

the time. Whatever.

37:26

whatever Look, I've

37:28

gone back and forth about it.

37:30

I think we need to

37:32

call the

37:32

police and just tell them

37:35

everything. REALLY?

37:36

really yes YES. Reporter:

37:38

FOUR MONTHS,

37:39

WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE WITH A Giant

37:41

GOED BAR IN OUR SAFE and

37:43

all you've come up with is the

37:45

most boring option. It was the

37:47

first thing I

37:48

thought to do. And then

37:50

I eventually came back around

37:52

to it. Look, we just tell the sheriff's

37:54

department that we didn't know what to

37:56

do, so we hung on to it

37:58

in case she came back for

38:02

SHE'S NOW OBVIOUSLY NOT COMING BACK

38:04

FOR IT SO WE

38:06

DECIDED TO CALL THE POLICE.

38:11

I'm

38:12

just I'm

38:14

so disappointed in you

38:17

after all

38:17

this

38:19

time. But but if it belongs to someone and they're

38:21

looking for it. What? Are

38:23

you worried? There's

38:25

some impoverished fan be somewhere that's

38:27

starving because they can't find their bar of gold. I

38:30

don't know. I

38:32

don't know.

38:33

June. Did do you

38:35

know what the price of gold per ounce is? I

38:37

looked it up. What is

38:39

it? It's like

38:40

fifteen hundred

38:42

dollars an ounce. Wow. The

38:46

bar is the size of a sleeve

38:48

of proteins. Do you know many

38:50

ounces that is? Sounds

38:52

like a lot. It

38:54

is a lot.

38:56

What do you want me to do? Put

38:57

it in the bank? Of course

38:59

not. What's your idea

39:01

then? Melt

39:04

it down.

39:04

do

39:06

Melt it

39:07

down. How? Find

39:11

a blacksmith? Yes. There

39:13

are no more blacksmiths. I

39:16

know a

39:16

guy. Oh, god. We used to date.

39:18

He's super hot, but

39:19

he wanted me to raise chickens or something,

39:22

and he's a weird guy. Did

39:23

you wind up dating a blacksmith?

39:26

Frankie, it's Central

39:26

Oregon. Do you know how many people

39:29

there are in those woods practicing professions

39:31

that have been obsolete for

39:33

a hundred

39:34

years. It's the making soap

39:36

from beef tallow capital of the world

39:38

around here. To who the hell is this?

39:42

You

39:42

know him? No.

39:44

T. Yes? Yep.

39:50

Yeah. T s is a

39:52

blacksmith. Think about it for

39:53

a second. It all makes sense.

39:55

It does not. T

39:57

s is a terrible name for a blacksmith.

39:59

That's

39:59

because you don't know what the TS stands

40:02

for. Do you do you wanna do you

40:04

wanna know

40:04

it stands for.

40:06

No. Tarvek Stormbringer.

40:08

What?

40:08

He had it

40:10

legally changed It's

40:13

on his driver's license. Why?

40:14

I don't know. It's from a

40:17

book or something. He went through all the

40:19

trouble to change his name.

40:22

And then calls himself t s. It's

40:25

even

40:25

funnier that he kept

40:27

his last name. So

40:30

his legal name is

40:33

Tarrvac, Stormbreaker,

40:35

Leclerc. Oh,

40:39

my god. Yeah. Sure. No

40:41

great idea. Let's trust our

40:43

thousands of dollars

40:46

of gold to the guy who writes a Griffin to work in the It's

40:48

more on brand than you

40:49

think. I mean, what do I do with

40:51

all my gold is kind of a

40:53

fantasy novel problem? What

40:56

kind of world are

40:57

we living in? Where having a bunch

41:00

of gold is

41:00

a problem? I thought it was a nice

41:04

gesture. Oh,

41:07

shit. Gladden tying. What are

41:09

you doing on

41:11

the roof? It's nice up here. How

41:13

did you get on the roof? How do you know I

41:16

haven't been

41:16

here the whole time?

41:17

I mean, at

41:20

this point, I I believe anything. How'd you get past the

41:22

wreck on the highway? Well, I was

41:24

on my moped, so I just zipped right

41:27

through. What? I'm

41:29

kidding, Frank. Oh. I had

41:31

no idea there was roof access.

41:33

I'm gonna be up there all the

41:35

time now. Please. Don't. Using

41:36

different clementine, did you get your memory back?

41:39

I learned all sorts

41:40

of things. Like what?

41:42

Okay. Hang on.

41:44

Clementine. What

41:47

the

41:47

fuck? What? There's

41:50

a bar of gold in our safe

41:53

Clementine?

41:53

Yeah. And then you just

41:56

vanished. I

41:56

did. And now you show up

41:59

on our roof. Okay.

42:01

So

42:03

so I

42:06

repeat What the fuck?

42:09

It's funny. Isn't

42:10

it unexpected gifts? Things

42:12

just come to us out of

42:15

thin air and then we Well, we just

42:17

reject

42:17

them. Don't we? This good thing

42:19

can't be

42:19

happening. It has to be a bad thing

42:21

in disguise. I better not accept

42:23

it, I

42:24

better it like a bad thing. I better

42:26

worry about it and yell at people. And if anyone

42:28

tries to congratulate me for this good thing that happened

42:30

out of the blue, I better shut them down.

42:32

Right?

42:32

right Or

42:34

we could just do something else. Couldn't we? We

42:36

could just say thanks. Enjoy it. Why don't

42:38

we do that? Because nothing has ever just

42:40

one thing.

42:41

Clementine the world is

42:43

not that simple, but I want it to

42:45

be. Me too. Doesn't really

42:47

matter what I want,

42:50

though. He's kind

42:50

of a pill, isn't he? Why

42:53

don't you get down

42:54

from the roof and tell us some

42:56

things, clementine? Okay.

42:58

Don't don't. Nice.

43:00

Dismount. Are you okay? Fine.

43:02

Do you want a jacket or

43:04

something? Clementine? What for? For

43:08

You know, winter? I'm fine. Come inside.

43:10

i'm at night

43:14

I

43:16

don't know what the deal is.

43:18

Maybe you're some

43:20

sort of heiress

43:22

or something. Maybe this is is

43:25

a paddy cursed situation.

43:27

I

43:28

I don't know.

43:29

Okay. One

43:31

bar of gold. Start

43:33

talking.

43:34

Right. Come

43:35

on. She's got amnesia.

43:37

You may not remember some things,

43:40

but we're not getting the full

43:42

story are

43:44

we? It is really

43:46

beautiful,

43:46

isn't it?

43:48

One

43:48

thing I did learn I learned

43:50

that gold is made inside of a star.

43:52

It cooks inside

43:54

a star for billions of years,

43:56

the Then when the star

43:58

finally grows old and dies, it coughs up

44:00

all the gold and sends it flying

44:02

across the universe. Gold is

44:04

the dying breath of

44:06

a star.

44:07

What if I told you

44:09

that's where I got it

44:12

from, that I was there

44:14

when a

44:16

star died and I caught some of its gold, some of that dying

44:18

breath. And then I

44:20

found a man in Australia who could take what I

44:22

found and press it into this little bar

44:24

for you.

44:25

This gold has traveled a long way to get

44:28

your

44:28

car. Time. Tell us

44:31

what's going on. Meantime. When so many

44:34

thousands of the people had gathered

44:36

together that they weren't tramp link

44:38

one another, he began

44:40

to say to his

44:42

disciples.

44:42

Lemontine. Come on. Now

44:44

he's got voice of the

44:45

leaven of the Pharisees,

44:47

which is hypocrisy. You

44:49

know who

44:50

is covered up that will not

44:52

be revealed

44:53

or hidden. From the rainwalk,

44:55

it's just some music,

44:58

clementine.

44:58

Therefore, whatever you have said in the dark shall

45:00

be heard in the light.

45:02

And what you have She

45:06

needs to go. Jesus. What? What?

45:08

I have to go. Are you okay?

45:11

because

45:13

shit But the fuck do not fear

45:16

those who kill the

45:18

body.

45:18

Glynnon Time. Where?

45:21

Glynnon Time. She's

45:23

gone. Where

45:24

the fuck

45:26

did she go?

45:29

Jesus. Okay.

45:31

Okay. Look,

45:33

maybe I haven't been taking this seriously enough. She's

45:35

fucking gone. Frank.

45:40

Frank,

45:40

What

45:41

the fuck is going

45:44

on?

45:44

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45:46

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48:37

Yes,

48:43

come in. Mister president?

48:45

And what is

48:46

it, John? I'm afraid the

48:48

first lady will not be able to

48:50

join you this evening. Is that right?

48:53

I'm afraid so. I will forever be

48:55

envious of her ability to wriggle her

48:57

way out of things. It is rather

49:00

inconvenient that the American people have elected

49:02

you and not heard mister

49:04

president. I agree.

49:06

So I'm to attend this evening

49:08

as some sort of unshaven

49:10

bachelor then, not as such mister

49:12

president? No. How's that? The keeping up of appearances is, of

49:15

course, very important in matters

49:18

of state. What form

49:20

of roundabout explanation has

49:22

begun just now? On the global

49:24

stage, we may appear to be

49:26

a bit battered and bruised, mister president. I agree with

49:28

you, John, it was a very

49:30

impolite war. So it behoves us

49:32

to project

49:34

certain heirs. Ayers?

49:36

We don't want the nations of the world, namely

49:38

our enemies thinking that we have been

49:41

weakened by strife. We

49:44

have been weakened by strive, Jill. Indeed,

49:46

we have. But we don't want

49:48

others to think it so. Surely, you

49:50

agree. Appropriate

49:52

that we're seeing a play this evening,

49:54

I propose a bit of stagecraft

49:58

stagecraft. John,

49:59

will

49:59

I be wearing makeup at some point this

50:02

evening? No. Mister president, but we

50:04

will be putting on a bit of

50:06

a A play within a play, if you will. John, you have

50:08

officially exhausted me. What am I to

50:10

be doing this evening? Simply projecting

50:12

an error confidence and

50:14

virility while attending this evening's

50:16

events with an ambassador.

50:18

ambassador Ambassador from where Luxembourg.

50:22

Luxembourg. That is a nation. So they

50:24

say, a young one, but

50:26

their lies right in the middle

50:28

of Europe I

50:30

see a new nation.

50:32

A bit. Yes. Achieved their

50:34

independence from France roughly

50:36

twenty years

50:38

past. Luxembourg. You

50:38

wish me to attend

50:41

the play

50:41

this evening with an ambassador from a

50:44

nation hardly out of

50:46

its infancy So it should

50:48

project errors of What are those errors again? Confidence. Confident

50:51

errors for the

50:53

ambassador

50:53

from Luxembourg.

50:55

luxembourg A master stroke and diplomacy to

50:57

be sure. Very well.

51:00

What's their name? Countess Giacata

51:02

of Luxembourg, a woman, she

51:06

is. A female ambassador, she appears to be.

51:09

That's unusual, isn't

51:12

it? Well, they were

51:14

French not too long ago.

51:16

Certain behaviors do tend to

51:18

linger, countess Jacket

51:20

of Luxembourg. It is

51:22

the one thing I miss about our former

51:24

European ties. So many

51:26

lords and ladies and countesses. We

51:29

should consider having some of those in America. Well,

51:31

I thought that's why we created

51:34

senators. Oh, they don't dress as well.

51:36

Very

51:36

well. SPENDING

51:37

THE EVENING WITH THE COUNTERESS AND NOT

51:39

BAD FOR A COUNTRY LAWYER

51:42

AND COULD YOU MEET WITH

51:44

HER BRIEF before the affair this evening? Will this work never be

51:46

completed, John? Well, there is

51:48

always the grave mister president

51:50

now. Uh-huh. That

51:52

sounds nice. Shall

51:54

I show her in,

51:55

please?

52:00

Mister president,

52:00

so lovely to meet

52:02

you.

52:02

Countess Chekietta of Luxembourg. I presume.

52:05

I am honored

52:05

to be in your presence. I

52:07

am honored to be in yours. Your

52:10

title does roll off the tongue much

52:12

easier than mister president.

52:13

The difference being yours was earned

52:15

and mind was simply given. So

52:16

what do I owe a diplomatic visit?

52:19

From the Kingdom of Luxembourg. We

52:20

are a young nation as you are,

52:22

and we wish to learn from you. Learn

52:25

from

52:25

our mistakes. You

52:26

mean? Of course not. We admire your nation.

52:28

We are not much

52:29

to admire at the moment, countess.

52:31

We are in fact quite a mess

52:33

at the moment. And

52:35

yet, you endure. Yes.

52:38

Yes. I

52:39

suppose we do. We are

52:41

a

52:41

nation created

52:44

by disagreement. The

52:45

Belgians, the Germans, the French, they

52:47

all insist we belong to them.

52:49

When they are unable to agree, we

52:51

were suddenly left to our own devices

52:53

and now I stand to be full

52:55

you. Disagreement does tend to create a nation or two.

52:57

Does it not? Yes. Though I am

52:59

glad our current disagreement did

53:01

not create two nations.

53:03

SMI. Countess, if you will, allow me

53:06

some expediency. Of course.

53:08

Due to

53:09

the particulars of my tenure, I have

53:11

not had the time I would

53:13

have liked to devote to foreign affairs. As this is

53:16

understandable. Though

53:16

in the time I have had,

53:18

I have discovered one

53:20

truth, that no foreign dignitary

53:22

ever requested to me just to

53:24

say hello. Do we have business? You

53:27

and I?

53:28

No business. Counters,

53:29

that is simply not

53:32

true.

53:33

I am

53:34

searching for

53:36

something. I see. And

53:39

what is that? I do not know. Well,

53:40

that is not

53:42

what I

53:43

expected you to say. Have you had

53:46

this feeling?

53:46

have you have this feeling Searching

53:49

without knowing what you search for. Certainly. And how

53:51

did you

53:51

go about this?

53:52

This searching

53:54

without a proper goal.

53:57

Start with a word. That's what I

53:59

like

53:59

to do. You can use one

54:01

word and one word only that

54:03

describes what's absent. Give

54:05

it a

54:06

try.

54:08

home Home.

54:10

Well, there is

54:12

a word that is far more elusive

54:15

than one might think. One of

54:16

those words that's a feeling disguised as a place.

54:19

I do hate that. What do

54:21

you suggest

54:21

as a

54:24

remedy?

54:26

Art.

54:27

it Art?

54:28

Yes. I've been

54:29

told that you're

54:30

to accompany me this evening to see

54:34

a play. I found that art does illuminate the places in one

54:36

soul that have dwelled in

54:38

darkness. What is

54:39

this play? Our

54:42

American

54:42

cousin. I'm sure it's

54:44

quite bad in truth, but

54:46

bad art and good can equally

54:50

illuminate though one is certainly more enjoyable than the other.

54:52

I look forward

54:53

to it. As do I

54:55

count

54:55

as, until then.

54:58

the

55:11

I did not yet

55:13

to be illuminated. Give

55:18

it time.

55:32

What in the world? Come

55:35

on me. I got the

55:37

gun he's getting away. Got it.

55:39

I got your gun

55:41

got ruined. Simple. To

55:43

red. Oh,

55:44

whatever. You're a shitty rebel,

55:46

Jancho Bia. What is the meaning

55:48

of this? Oh, hey, miss

55:50

to president. Who is this? Guards seize this world. Calm

55:53

down everyone. Calm down, mister president. My name is

55:55

Julius Bohannon, and I am a

55:57

member of your secret service.

55:59

We have this disturbing

56:02

situation well in hand. We were not informed

56:04

that the Pinkerton's were here this evening.

56:06

My apologies, mister Hay, we had to

56:08

move in secret so is

56:10

not to cause this

56:12

particular groundhog to dive back

56:14

beneath the earth as it were.

56:16

You let assassan get this close to the president? We certainly got there

56:18

before you all, Dad, did me. That was fun.

56:20

I do apologize for

56:22

the Checkatary. Mister

56:24

president, we did not want to alert mister

56:26

booth of our presence so we

56:28

created a foil for him in

56:30

the guise of this tiniest

56:32

Spanish woman. Day. This is name.

56:34

Do we have to? Is Miranda

56:36

Villalobos. Pulp fiction seriously.

56:39

Sorry. He never suspects

56:42

to the thing. Gentlemen, our documentation. Well, in that case,

56:44

I suppose I owe you two a day. Not

56:46

at all, mister president all in a

56:48

day's work. Now, if you'll excuse use

56:51

me. We have a bit of cleaning up to do.

56:53

Man, I can't think you enough. No

56:56

problem, Abe. Don't call him Abe.

56:58

Hey. Listen Forty acres in a mule. You hear me? I'm

57:00

sending the guards after this assassin

57:02

immediately. Oh, not to worry, mister Hay, we have a

57:04

man. Forty

57:06

eight than a mule a. Let's

57:08

go.

57:23

You the

57:25

guy

57:26

looking for a

57:29

horse? Who are

57:32

you? I'm late. You

57:34

don't know the man I was meant

57:36

to meet where is he? He had a

57:39

thing.

57:39

What? Look, do you want

57:41

the horse or not?

57:43

Very

57:44

very well

57:46

well. Thank you

57:48

for this, my friend. The South will

57:52

rise again. there

57:55

Sure. Oh,

57:59

I wish I was

58:02

in the land of cotton. Old

58:04

times there. I'm not

58:07

forgotten at

58:15

Look away.

58:16

Look away.

58:19

Dixie

58:22

land. Ava,

58:31

what are

58:34

you pouring your

58:37

thoughts into over there? It's

58:39

kind of hard to

58:42

explain. David, do you mean

58:42

it's hard to explain or it's hard to

58:45

explain to us? It's a map. Well, oh,

58:47

that's not so hard. Now is it a

58:49

map map of what?

58:49

Everything. Come again.

58:52

I

58:53

believe you'll need more pages

58:55

in that book. It's not

58:57

an actual map. It's

58:59

just Kind of

58:59

a concept of everything.

59:04

Yes. A friend

59:05

of mine discovered something and

59:07

no one would believe her.

59:09

I didn't either for a while, but

59:11

now I'm pretty sure she was

59:14

right. Why wouldn't anyone believe her?

59:16

Well,

59:16

in science, they're a sort

59:19

of marketplace of ideas. You

59:22

had a tractor

59:22

back home. Right? Oh, yes.

59:24

right

59:25

Baron nice one. We called

59:27

it Samsung. What did

59:28

you have before that? We

59:31

always

59:31

had Samsung. But before

59:33

that, my thought mother

59:35

just had a mule. It was also named

59:37

Samson. It was an Omar.

59:38

Okay. So tractors

59:40

came along and you did need

59:43

the mule anymore. Right? Which I'm sure was

59:46

good news for everyone, but the guy who

59:48

sold the mules.

59:50

The science tactic world

59:52

can sometimes be full of

59:54

mule salesman who are always

59:56

skeptical about tractors.

59:58

I see. Your friend.

1:00:00

She invented a tractor in

1:00:02

a world full of mule

1:00:05

sails. Exactly. So What is

1:00:07

the shape and size of this

1:00:09

tractor exactly? Well, how did

1:00:12

the universe

1:00:13

begin in the bible?

1:00:15

the bible She

1:00:16

is asking

1:00:19

us about the vertical.

1:00:21

Guess no sudden

1:00:24

movements. We scare away. Come on.

1:00:25

Well, Eva.

1:00:27

When that it it's

1:00:30

interesting. There are

1:00:32

in fact tooling

1:00:34

theories on the beginning of

1:00:36

all things. Really? Yes.

1:00:38

There are two interpretations

1:00:41

of how the Lord created the

1:00:43

world entire. They are called

1:00:45

Lugos and Aegon.

1:00:48

Speech and struggle.

1:00:51

Precisely. In

1:00:53

one interpretation with speech

1:00:55

alone, God created the

1:00:58

world. He spoke and matter itself would bend

1:01:00

to his will. And through

1:01:02

his words, the world came

1:01:04

to be. And

1:01:06

the other rotation. A

1:01:08

struggle involved a great

1:01:10

battle. That one talks of

1:01:12

God is a warrior, and

1:01:15

the world before him was one

1:01:17

of chaos. He brought order

1:01:19

to the chaos by

1:01:21

defeating great Seema bloodsters and

1:01:24

such. Mot,

1:01:27

yam, tannin, and

1:01:30

Lebaya fan. The Psalms read,

1:01:32

you it was who smashed Yawm

1:01:34

with your might, who battered

1:01:36

the heads of the monster in

1:01:39

the waters. You it

1:01:41

was who crushed the

1:01:43

heads of Leviathan,

1:01:45

who left them for food for the citizens of

1:01:48

the desert. That second one

1:01:50

is way

1:01:50

cooler. I like it too. It

1:01:52

makes me feel better

1:01:53

about my hatred

1:01:55

for catfish. But if you're

1:01:58

speaking of a map of all

1:01:59

creation, for us,

1:02:02

it is never truly settled.

1:02:04

The old Israelites believed

1:02:07

the world to be like

1:02:09

a great disk floating in a

1:02:11

great ocean but then that began

1:02:13

to change. Why did

1:02:15

it change? Well,

1:02:17

because of

1:02:20

the arrival of people such as you,

1:02:22

Eva, men built great

1:02:24

looking glasses that peered into the

1:02:26

sky and our concept of

1:02:28

the ground we stand

1:02:30

on began to slowly

1:02:32

change, and thus did our

1:02:34

concept of its beginnings.

1:02:36

Come on, Michael

1:02:37

Wayne's, I thought it was

1:02:38

the word of God. I

1:02:40

thought it was immutable. Yes, Will. We,

1:02:44

in fact,

1:02:45

Well, we

1:02:48

believe that holy scripture was

1:02:50

written by god's children

1:02:54

and not not god himself. Which

1:02:56

can get one into trouble in

1:02:59

certain circles. There is

1:03:01

the word, and then there is the

1:03:04

world. And we find

1:03:06

both to be perfect.

1:03:08

But then there a word

1:03:10

and its interpretation. And

1:03:13

one cannot interpret without putting

1:03:15

at least a bit of

1:03:17

oneself into it. And we

1:03:19

are by design, imperfect.

1:03:22

Therefore, so shall our

1:03:24

interpretations be. Then

1:03:25

how do you ever

1:03:27

know what to believe?

1:03:28

Well, that is the journey, Ava. And

1:03:30

the fuel for that journey

1:03:33

is faith. So

1:03:36

tell us,

1:03:38

was your friend's interpretation of everything?

1:03:40

She described it

1:03:41

like a play. The beginning

1:03:43

of all things is like

1:03:45

a curtain rising. And

1:03:47

every particle

1:03:48

in the universe is a player in

1:03:50

a great piece of theater.

1:03:52

And then eventually, the curtain falls.

1:03:55

That's not much different from

1:03:57

what any other cosmologist would

1:03:59

say. What my friend proved was

1:04:01

that also like a play. The

1:04:03

curtain comes up again the

1:04:06

next night. Sometimes the

1:04:08

play is the same, sometimes it's different.

1:04:11

But it continues on and on

1:04:13

into eternity. And

1:04:15

somehow, all

1:04:16

of that has

1:04:19

something to do with a time traveling dimension spanning

1:04:22

diner, which is

1:04:23

hilarious. Well, it's a nice

1:04:26

story, but there's no sea monsters

1:04:28

in it. And

1:04:29

then looks at him, and she says, forty acres in

1:04:31

a

1:04:31

mule cave to his face. Looking right

1:04:33

at him. Number sixteen himself. Welcome back

1:04:36

y'all. Just save

1:04:37

the Republic. No big deal. It

1:04:39

was

1:04:39

pretty satisfying. Gloria, I bet John Wilkes booth. You bet

1:04:41

him. Let

1:04:41

it be known. I will bite all

1:04:44

confederate. It was the bite

1:04:45

heard around the world. Nations

1:04:47

were shook. Casper doing literally a foghorn,

1:04:49

Legorn impression. Ma'am, that is

1:04:51

Julius Bohannon, southern gentleman,

1:04:54

freedom fighter,

1:04:56

and cigarette hold a use. This

1:04:58

was my favorite by far. This pales in

1:05:00

comparison to when we convinced Andrei the giant to

1:05:02

run for French parliament and that was my

1:05:04

favorite. What is not my favorite are these

1:05:06

clothes? I'm going to

1:05:08

change this reconstruction era

1:05:10

course it is some bullshit.

1:05:14

Eva. Mission

1:05:14

completed. Look, we're having a great time out

1:05:16

there, but please tell me

1:05:18

we're getting somewhere. Nothing definitive yet

1:05:20

on.

1:05:21

They've we've been at this four

1:05:24

months. I know. Leaf broke Jean

1:05:26

Ginné out of prison. Gloria shut down the

1:05:28

first McDonald's. I know. I

1:05:30

scared Catholic missionaries out

1:05:32

of the Congo dressed as an evil

1:05:34

gorilla.

1:05:35

We may have only done

1:05:37

that one because I wanted you to wear a gorilla suit. I knew

1:05:39

it.

1:05:39

Point is we're working our asses

1:05:41

off out here. Look, the

1:05:43

theory is sound. The

1:05:45

more

1:05:45

chaos we create out there,

1:05:48

the more deviations in the timeline

1:05:50

we create, the better. I

1:05:52

get it. We're

1:05:53

following Chuck's plan. We make chaos and this

1:05:56

thing whatever it is. Strange

1:05:58

attractor.

1:05:58

Right.

1:05:59

Then it comes to

1:06:02

us, but what does that even mean? What does it

1:06:04

look like? What are we

1:06:06

doing? How many

1:06:06

Catholic missionaries do I have

1:06:08

to scale with?

1:06:09

We must stay with the

1:06:11

plan and have faith. There are no expedient paths to

1:06:14

enlightenment. But

1:06:16

many things makes for scared those

1:06:18

Catholics away. As a

1:06:19

side note, do we have

1:06:21

any idea why we keep showing

1:06:23

up at alternate earth's? This

1:06:25

whole

1:06:25

time, all we're doing is earth

1:06:28

stuff. That can't be

1:06:29

a coincidence. We don't know

1:06:30

that either. I sure hope

1:06:32

we're not going through all this

1:06:34

because you don't wanna admit that

1:06:36

you're wrong about

1:06:37

something. I'm never wrong,

1:06:40

Casper. Just waiting

1:06:40

around for the moment that I'm around. We've been waiting around for that moment

1:06:42

for a very long time. I'm impatient.

1:06:44

Said the one

1:06:45

hundred and seventy three year old Turning

1:06:47

John Wilkes

1:06:48

booth over to the

1:06:50

priorities was very satisfying, but it's not going to be satisfying the

1:06:52

fifth time we do it.

1:06:56

Oh. Say

1:06:59

that again?

1:07:00

that again Turn

1:07:02

John

1:07:02

Wilkes booth over to the authorities.

1:07:06

ha

1:07:08

Okay. I

1:07:09

didn't do

1:07:11

that. You

1:07:12

didn't. What did you do?

1:07:14

You know, I

1:07:17

kill

1:07:17

him. Whoa. What? What? That was not the

1:07:20

plan. Plan was to save

1:07:22

Lincoln. I thought I had dealers'

1:07:24

choice on Blue. We did this We're not playing

1:07:26

Omaha! Hi Lo! What's happening? We've

1:07:28

killed John Wilkes booth.

1:07:30

Oh,

1:07:32

okay.

1:07:32

okay

1:07:34

You know, I'm

1:07:35

trying to feel a certain way about that, but I got nothing. Is this what

1:07:37

it's like being Ava? Yes. What did you

1:07:39

do? No. I met him

1:07:41

in the alley with a

1:07:43

horse. And as he was riding away,

1:07:46

I I blew

1:07:46

him up. They thought you blew him

1:07:48

up. Why is that worse? Don't No.

1:07:51

Is the horse okay? The horse is

1:07:53

fine. Good. Eighty execion, help

1:07:56

me out here. Life.

1:07:58

Murder

1:07:59

is wrong. I

1:08:01

i know.

1:08:02

our i Alright. Well,

1:08:06

good. That's it. De

1:08:07

Beeline.

1:08:08

Yes. I Well,

1:08:11

Casper.

1:08:13

Look. You're the history buff?

1:08:15

What was going to

1:08:17

happen to him?

1:08:19

He was going

1:08:20

to

1:08:22

go hide in a

1:08:24

barn in Port

1:08:27

Royal and then get shot in

1:08:28

the neck by a union soldier

1:08:30

a couple of days later. Okay.

1:08:32

And was there some

1:08:34

sort of impassioned speak

1:08:37

shit the end. About tyranny

1:08:39

or whatever? Yeah. Okay. So

1:08:41

the outcome is

1:08:44

the same. I just

1:08:46

saved the world from having to hear an impassioned speech from a straight up evil dude.

1:08:49

Hey, no

1:08:51

one's giving me credit

1:08:53

yet for blowing up a

1:08:56

dude on horseback and not

1:08:58

killing the horse. That's

1:08:59

called precision demolition. It's

1:09:02

a

1:09:02

lost art. I

1:09:03

feel weird about this. You'll be fine. Incoming. What? in the parking lot.

1:09:06

somebody from the parking lot Who? Oh,

1:09:08

it's the fracking

1:09:10

ambassador from Luxembourg. She's having a weird day. She needs to get out of the parking lot.

1:09:12

We're

1:09:12

going to jump

1:09:13

-- Oh, now you're concerned for people.

1:09:15

-- innocent people sure.

1:09:19

I'll go talk to her.

1:09:26

Good evening,

1:09:27

madam ambassador. May I

1:09:29

help you?

1:09:30

What an unusual building?

1:09:33

Yes. Architects, these days,

1:09:35

may I escort you back to town? You must

1:09:37

be in quite a state considering

1:09:39

this evening's events.

1:09:40

I was so impressed with

1:09:43

your heroism. Oh, well, it was a group

1:09:44

effort. I am

1:09:47

countess

1:09:47

Giacata of Luxembourg. In

1:09:51

order to be in your presence

1:09:52

countess, I am Julius

1:09:54

Bohannon of the Shreveport

1:09:58

Bohannon's. Are

1:09:58

you certain? Am I certain

1:10:00

of what? Are you certain of

1:10:02

who you say

1:10:03

you are?

1:10:06

I'm quiet, sir. I have excellent

1:10:08

ability to detect deception.

1:10:11

Do you

1:10:12

do you know

1:10:15

know? Yes. What would your sense of

1:10:17

deception

1:10:17

say about a woman calling herself

1:10:20

count as Jacketta

1:10:22

of Luxembourg when Countess Jackette of Luxembourg

1:10:24

died in the

1:10:27

fifteenth century. She was thought

1:10:29

to

1:10:29

be a witch. Have you

1:10:32

risen from

1:10:32

the grave to enact

1:10:34

your revenge on mankind countess?

1:10:40

Who are

1:10:41

you? Who are you? What is this place? Honestly, I have no

1:10:43

idea. What's going on, Casper? Not sure. Who

1:10:45

are all of you? We run a

1:10:47

diner. Let's have

1:10:49

in here. I

1:10:51

have a very strange feeling. The

1:10:53

hell is that? Honestly, we

1:10:54

don't know that either. I don't like

1:10:56

this place. What is this place? Maybe

1:10:59

alright. Just Tell us your name. Are you trying to stop me? I won't

1:11:01

stop. Whoever you are,

1:11:02

we think you may be doing

1:11:06

something battle. No. I'm too close. Too close

1:11:08

to what? Tell me who

1:11:10

you are, baby. No. You first.

1:11:14

Never

1:11:16

mind.

1:11:16

I'll find

1:11:19

out for myself. Shit.

1:11:23

See, told you

1:11:26

I'd be

1:11:28

right

1:11:31

eventually. Okay. Everybody inside. Time

1:11:35

to make plans.

1:12:02

Hello?

1:12:04

Yeah. Look,

1:12:06

I can't talk

1:12:08

about this right now.

1:12:11

I'm slammed. Okay? Well, We'll

1:12:13

have to talk about it later. I'm

1:12:15

not doing this now. Goodbye.

1:12:17

good i

1:12:21

Three twenty two.

1:12:24

When

1:12:26

you sign the waitlist,

1:12:29

You need a first

1:12:32

and a last name.

1:12:34

K? Clementine. Yes. That's me.

1:12:36

yeah as me

1:12:37

What's your last

1:12:39

name,

1:12:39

Clementine? Oh, I

1:12:42

don't

1:12:42

have one. You

1:12:46

don't have one? No.

1:12:49

Can I

1:12:51

get one here? No.

1:12:53

Clementine,

1:12:54

no

1:12:55

you cannot get a

1:12:58

last name at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Is there anything else I can help you

1:13:00

with? is

1:13:02

there anything else i can help you

1:13:05

Yes.

1:13:06

yeah Yes.

1:13:09

I

1:13:10

think there is.

1:13:15

Casper.

1:13:21

Midnight Burger is

1:13:22

made possible in part by our Montecristo level and above supporters. Wilson,

1:13:25

Billy,

1:13:26

Burford, Bethany, second Bethany,

1:13:30

Sparker. Milo loves mycelium. Sarah

1:13:33

freckles Zoe Georgina Marsh,

1:13:35

the archbishop, Lucretzio, the

1:13:38

waiting pool pirates, Chelsea g,

1:13:40

Melmamberg, kingpin, miss Chris still making

1:13:42

sandwiches, Kurt Barton, Dee Fox, Nicole

1:13:45

Caulangelo, the real

1:13:48

dirt fair rogue, Kenny,

1:13:50

Adrian Ramirez, Leap Flame, Shneugens, Steven Robin

1:13:53

Poole, Bathurst, Andrea

1:13:56

Strick, Sarkati, Velocicate,

1:13:59

Chantouviyah, Justine Burbank, Pichy

1:14:02

Zepauichi, disco funk singer,

1:14:05

EDgy Steed, Kolandas, Alice Mattis, Todd

1:14:07

Van Vooras, Thomas Stollum, Michael Christian, Tarevoc Stormbreaker,

1:14:11

Magnificent Hubbeast, Brackowini, Theo

1:14:15

Alexstein, purple Sea lead, and

1:14:17

Tiffany Brickman, Gen C, Leia

1:14:19

B, Bardo Bardo Bardo

1:14:21

Bardo Bardo Onyx Rose, Burlington,

1:14:24

Biscount, Whitney Pliss, Tamara

1:14:26

Oliver, Jackie Wakelet, Marissa,

1:14:28

Terry, Maggie's Yard, Aaron

1:14:30

Mitchell, Raven the NECO Queen,

1:14:33

MELVUS Grey Mystery, Omega,

1:14:35

Codex Type O, Ang

1:14:37

Velasquez, John Dew, Ruth McCormick, stuck in

1:14:39

Duralahoma. It's just Blake, Dancing Dog Dreams

1:14:42

JR the Hiker Bear, minimal,

1:14:46

Tracy, Calibri, Nate. Three legs are perfectly good. Hipot, Maloran, run

1:14:52

my salid. Kara,

1:14:54

late indeed again. Ian Hertzma, mother of Thor, and anomaly, special

1:15:00

k, Ryanair, Captain Blpp,

1:15:02

Sarah Berginholz, Zechiness, Naya, Anna, Ben and Jessica,

1:15:04

the artist formerly

1:15:07

known as Mauskamp. Levi,

1:15:11

Alex Steve, Darcy d,

1:15:13

and existentially exhausted me.

1:15:15

Thanks for listening to midnight

1:15:17

Burger Y'all. Be sure and tune in this time next

1:15:20

month for more adventures in the

1:15:22

vastness. I'm just time and tide.

1:15:25

Royle you too harshly. Or diurnal

1:15:28

courses leave you with

1:15:30

no safe havens. Just

1:15:32

remember, we're

1:15:35

out there somewhere looking for

1:15:39

you. We open anything.

1:15:44

The

1:15:45

fable

1:15:47

and network fiction producers flourish.

1:15:51

Thank

1:15:52

you, Lisa. Awesome. Martha,

1:15:54

look, the new season

1:15:56

is coming.

1:15:59

Get

1:15:59

the ready. Okay.

1:16:00

Okay. In a dangerous new world.

1:16:03

Wow. We can see

1:16:05

the helicopters coming in at

1:16:07

like the teams are arriving for this season of Soul Survivor.

1:16:09

Live action role players will

1:16:11

fight. I'm Sequoia.

1:16:13

I'm Myrna.

1:16:15

Grant checking in to

1:16:17

just call me Scooters damn. I'm cool. To build.

1:16:19

How do you need to find the feathers for my hair?

1:16:21

Oh, you need to

1:16:24

grab some Thanks. Outsmart. Oh

1:16:26

my god. We'll look for a Again, deserve a

1:16:29

No. Don't know.

1:16:32

Vincent fate. Black

1:16:35

Knight available at facing food dot

1:16:37

com and on Apple Podcasts.

1:16:39

Spotify. Or wherever you listen

1:16:41

to podcasts, beginning June fourteen. I don't know if I

1:16:44

wanna live anymore. I

1:16:46

just

1:16:46

want it to end.

1:16:49

I

1:16:51

don't drag it

1:16:55

production.