Gonna Make You An Offer You Can’t Refuse
‘Next, please?’
‘Er, could I have a lettuce, please?’
‘Red or green?’
‘Haven’t you got any blue ones?’
‘Blue? Sorry, mate, just red or green.’
‘I’m just kidding. I’ve never heard of a red lettuce. Can I have a look, please?’
‘Sure. Here you go. Beauty, isn’t she?’
‘Not very red, though, is it? I’d say it’s more of a maroon. Wouldn’t you?’
‘Also, did you know they’re high on antioxidants?’
‘You’d better call the police, then.’
‘You what?’
‘Nothing. So, are antioxidants important?’
‘If you value your life, they are. Plus, we’ve got an offer on red lettuces today.’
‘An offer? What’s that?’
‘A special price.’
‘I mean, What’s the offer?’
‘Two for two euros.’
‘Not the most exciting of offers, is it? And how much will one lettuce cost me?’
‘One euro twenty. But if you buy two, you get the second one for just eighty cents.’
‘It’s very tempting, but I think I’ll take just the one, thanks.’
‘That’s one euro twenty. Are you sure you don’t want two for two euros?’
‘No, honestly. We only use them for decoration anyway.’
‘You what?’
‘Nothing. There you go.’
‘Two euros? Changed our mind, have we?’ . . .
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