Food For Thought

‘Bread, butter, cheese . . .’

            It was a depressing list.

            ‘Buns, biscuits, cakes . . .’

            Then again, all of Mick’s lists were depressing these days.

            ‘Beer, brandy, chocolate . . .’

            Why did all the good things in life begin with B or C? And, more to the point, why were all the “good things in life” bad for the body, a burden to burn off and crammed with cholesterol-enhancing calories?

            ‘Burgers, bacon, chorizo . . .’

            Summer was approaching fast, and the daily beach inspections were just around the corner. It was time to bring out his trusted “no BBC for me” diet.

            ‘Brownies, bagels, cream teas . . .’

            Mick was struggling now. He’d never had a bagel in his life and, let’s face it, “cream teas” was a bit of a cop-out, wasn’t it? He’d be resorting to brand names next.

            ‘Baileys, Ballantine’s, Cointreau . . .’

            Thankfully for both Mick and the Spanish wine industry, Rioja began with an R.

            ‘Bacardi, Beefeater, coffee . . .’

            Coffee?! No way! Besides, all the klever dicks spelt koffee with a K, didn’t they?

             If you kan’t beat them, join them! kontemplated Mick, sipping his ice-kold koffee.