2:37

Good. It's

2:39

good to see you.

2:40

I know. So good. fun

2:42

that we get to be in other rooms in

2:44

our own house together. Exactly.

2:47

Precisely. sometimes

2:49

the way that life, that's the way life works in marriage,

2:51

I think.

2:53

Yeah. Well, I think it's kind of important to

2:55

have your own space, you know, have,

2:57

have a place that you can kind of call your own,

3:00

but you know, you still, it, it, it's all shared

3:02

space in a way, but having your

3:04

own space too is kind of important in a relationship.

3:07

I think we do that. We

3:09

do. It's made a huge

3:12

difference for me converting

3:15

annika's room, sorry, Annika

3:17

into an office. Um,

3:20

it's, it's really up my productivity

3:23

just to feel like I have a workspace

3:25

that's separate from my

3:27

workspace. Used to be in our living room or in my,

3:29

in our bedroom. Mm. Um,

3:32

and so it's nice just to kind of have that dedicated

3:35

space that when I'm there, I'm working.

3:38

That's

3:38

right. And then you can go back to your room and relax

3:40

that room. Exactly. Or about relaxation

3:43

and not about work.

3:44

Yeah. So important. Yeah. To today I was

3:46

feeling. Well, the last couple

3:48

days I, I've been feeling a little bit tired and I just

3:51

felt like I needed to go lay down and rest this

3:53

afternoon, and I did and I was able to leave my office

3:55

to do it and then know I could come back down here later

3:57

tonight to record this. So that's kind of cool.

3:59

Do, do

4:00

you take naps every day?

4:01

No, I used to. I

4:04

used to take naps every day for

4:06

many hours. Um, but

4:08

I haven't taken a nap in a couple weeks.

4:10

Yeah, I can't remember the last

4:12

time I, I took a nap. I I

4:14

like to sleep in on the weekends, and,

4:16

and not try and rush the morning. That's,

4:19

that's really, uh,

4:21

luxurious time. It feels

4:23

like a luxury to. And

4:25

it feels deserved after going

4:28

all week long. Mm-hmm. I

4:30

feel like I'm getting enough sleep at night. I

4:32

mean, sleeping is, is really, really important,,

4:35

for you to feel any kind

4:37

of health or especially

4:39

longevity. I think sleep is probably one

4:41

of the most important things.

4:44

Yeah, for sure. Well, I can tell you, I'm reading,

4:46

I just started reading a book right now and I'm hosting

4:49

a book club, on December 30th

4:51

for people who are interested in reading it and,

4:54

having a discussion about it called Rest is,

4:57

resistance A manifesto. Mm.

5:00

And it's, I'm just, just getting

5:02

into it so I can't speak to it too much, but

5:05

it's, around this idea that,

5:07

Rest is sort of anti-capitalist,

5:11

anti-white supremacy movement.

5:14

And we've all been sold that hustle

5:16

and grit and, you know, all

5:19

of that is, well not grit, but, um,

5:21

hustle and grind. That's the word I wanted,

5:24

um, are what makes successful people,

5:26

but maybe it's part of what's

5:28

wrong with our

5:29

culture. Yeah. And that, it's

5:31

really interesting what Covid taught us too, about

5:34

how much you can get. By

5:36

also finding time for yourself,

5:39

you know? Mm-hmm. in the midst of everything when we

5:41

were separated. I think that

5:43

that really kind of shed a light on that in

5:45

a different way that didn't, kind of took

5:47

us, caught a lot of us off guard. Took

5:49

me off guard as far as

5:51

what. Is expected with regards

5:54

to work and how much work, how

5:56

much work you really get done in a given

5:58

day. Even when you go all day

6:00

long, how much work is actually

6:02

getting done, you know, and how much of

6:04

it is you kind of pacing around the,

6:06

the, the stuff that you really need, which is

6:09

relationships with people and, maybe

6:11

hanging out at the water cooler or, grabbing

6:13

a coffee with somebody just to catch up,

6:15

you know, that stuff happens at work and in a work

6:18

envi an environment and that's, it's valuable.

6:21

But as far as the actual work getting done,

6:23

I think that most of us can get our work done

6:26

at home.

6:26

Okay. So let's get down

6:29

to business. Can you, tell

6:31

us a little bit about your

6:33

life and how. It

6:35

aligns with that sort of

6:38

idea of seeing change

6:40

as an opportunity?

6:42

Yeah. You know, I,

6:44

I find that, uh,

6:47

when it comes to thinking

6:49

about how we go

6:51

about just our daily lives, uh,

6:55

it's so nice to have a job. You

6:58

can get up and go to seven to four,

7:01

and then it's so nice to know when dinner's gonna

7:03

be and it's so nice to, you know,

7:05

have a plan for dinner and all these

7:07

things that you plan, but I find

7:09

that every day there's always

7:12

gonna be. Something

7:14

that falls through the cracks or is

7:16

a little messy. So this idea

7:18

of minding a gap or

7:20

finding something, um,

7:23

that, that happens to all of us

7:25

isn't something that just happens in life. I

7:27

think that this is something that really is

7:29

about if you're present, if you're really present

7:32

with your daily grind,

7:35

if you will, um,

7:37

you'll. That every day is

7:39

an improvisation in a way. Even

7:42

when you have a strict plan or that you have,

7:45

you know where things are supposed to be,

7:47

there's always gonna be a moment where you have

7:49

to decide to go

7:52

left or go right? And

7:54

in that moment, if you get stressed out,

7:56

or if you have, if you find there's a pattern

7:58

in how you approach those decisions,

8:01

and it can be as small as just, once

8:03

I park my car in a certain spot,

8:06

you know, am I gonna go directly to my

8:08

office or am I gonna stop by and pick up some water

8:10

on my way? I think it's really

8:12

important that you just stay present.

8:15

Where you're walking and what you're doing in the

8:17

moment, and trust

8:19

that, every day can

8:21

be special and find

8:23

those special moments that say, okay,

8:26

I'm, I, I am present right now. I am

8:28

in this moment. And yeah,

8:30

you know what, what feels good right now is I'm

8:32

gonna go get that. I'm gonna go get, I'm gonna

8:35

go fill up my water. I'm

8:37

gonna go and get a moment for myself

8:39

and like for myself as a

8:42

teacher. I had this moment today,

8:46

I think it was in between two periods

8:48

where I I, I was just coming from

8:50

a digital arts class. I had to cross the entire

8:53

school to get back to my drama classroom.

8:58

And I decided to

9:00

just, instead of going down the, the

9:02

regular hallway, the fastest way to

9:04

my room, I decided, I

9:06

literally thought this through. You know what?

9:08

I'm gonna go a different way. I'm gonna go through the courtyard

9:11

and outside, catch a little

9:13

bit of blue sky on my way to this

9:15

next thing that I'm gonna do, and just

9:18

fill myself up with that little moment

9:20

and, and make it purposeful. Mm-hmm. and

9:22

then go on about my. Because

9:25

when you're in between those things, if you

9:27

can change up something that is expected

9:30

and make the unexpected, pleasurable

9:32

and special, that

9:35

is a trick that we all have

9:37

at our disposal and people

9:39

should use more often. And just

9:41

that little thing felt so

9:44

good. And then I was able

9:46

to actually, I ran into some people that I don't

9:48

normally see as I cross through the hallways and

9:50

they saw me and we said, we had

9:52

said hello to each other. I

9:54

got a fist bump from an administrator

9:56

that I don't normally get cause I don't

9:58

go that way. But he was on his grind

10:00

RO walk, and we saw each other

10:03

and we got to have that moment. And

10:06

I just recognized in that moment, You

10:08

know how cool that was and, and, and

10:11

then really finding all

10:13

of those throughout the day. There's, there's literally

10:16

dozens of those probably that could happen.

10:19

Yeah. And which one do you pick? You know, which

10:21

one do you pick to make special? I

10:24

love that idea of these daily opportunities

10:27

Where being present can, shape

10:30

our experience for the day. I love that.

10:32

I've been focusing a lot on,

10:34

the idea of big changes

10:37

and the reality is

10:39

when you break everything down, it's just about.

10:42

Little, little shifts

10:44

and, um, and being present.

10:46

So that's, that's awesome. I love that

10:48

you opened up a new way, for me

10:50

to think about the way that I'm thinking

10:52

about, change in daily practices,,

10:55

in my business. So thank you. Um,

11:00

Yeah. So you mentioned

11:03

improv, you're a drama teacher. Mm-hmm.

11:05

and you come from, a theater background

11:07

both academically and professionally

11:10

and just as a passion,, tell.

11:13

A little bit more about

11:15

how theater might fit into

11:18

either the change paradigm or,

11:20

this idea of being present.

11:23

Yeah. you know, I got started in theater

11:26

when I was in high school. Went all the

11:28

way through college, got my double major

11:30

in music and theater. Um,

11:32

directing and acting and then also

11:34

music composition and

11:37

the, all of that training really

11:39

gets to a lot of that training gets back to

11:41

getting close to your,

11:43

your instrument, which is your body, and

11:46

also getting close to your breath and

11:48

your Heart rate. you can always come

11:50

back to those automatic things

11:52

that we have, uh, to get through.

11:55

Anything that you're going through, even stressful,

11:57

the most stressful times. the reason

11:59

that they give you all this training, especially when I

12:01

got to grad school, and was

12:03

learning to be a professionally trained actor at

12:05

that level, they really focused

12:08

a lot on that mindfulness

12:10

to. Your, your instrument

12:12

and, and, and taking care of yourself. And then

12:15

also redirecting the energy

12:17

flow that comes from those automatic things

12:20

into what we do on a daily

12:22

basis. And it

12:24

still, it takes conscious effort. And

12:26

even after all that training, I

12:28

still have to, on a daily basis, remind

12:31

myself, if I'm not present

12:33

with the, that, that basic training

12:35

around, finding my center

12:37

and getting back to, the core

12:40

of me when I'm

12:42

feeling stressed, then

12:44

everything feels a little bit off. But

12:47

your question was with regards to, how

12:49

theater, has impacted my. You

12:51

know, I had my, my training while

12:53

it was in theater, scripted theater

12:56

and doing a lot of work on stage with scripts.

12:59

I got my start in New York, producing

13:02

improv theater, long form improv

13:04

where you would learn instead of a script, you

13:06

learn a form, a way

13:09

of telling a story, and all of the

13:11

actors are on board with following

13:14

the form. the layout

13:17

of how a story is going to unfold,

13:19

not knowing what the specifics

13:21

are going in those develop,

13:24

and then you become very attuned

13:26

to, okay, we know that we're

13:28

in part A of the story. We need to

13:30

get to part B. How

13:33

can we, as we listen, we watch

13:35

all the action on the stage, and then we participate

13:39

as a collaborative. Performers

13:41

to make the A, B, C D

13:44

E connection as we go

13:46

through. And sometimes

13:48

it works, and then there are

13:50

times where it doesn't work spectacularly,

13:55

and in either case, it's

13:57

still being present in

13:59

that way with the people that you're with

14:02

and the trust that you have. What

14:04

you remember from that, and this is what I kind

14:06

of take from it, and this is the connection I'm trying

14:09

to make to answer your question, it's

14:11

really the quality of people that you're

14:13

with and with

14:15

the trust that you have, that even

14:17

when it goes poorly, that you'll still

14:20

be loved. You'll still be, someone

14:23

that you'll want to hang out with and that you'll hang out

14:25

with each other and you'll come back and you'll, you'll

14:27

try again. And there were many

14:29

times, uh, you know, when I was producing

14:32

this, this theater, I didn't have a lot

14:34

of money and none of the actors that. I,

14:36

I had in my troop and none of us

14:38

were being paid. We came to do it

14:40

to get the experience, and

14:42

I was, maxing out credit cards to

14:44

get the rehearsal spaces to produce

14:47

it. But the people that I

14:49

was in that T troop with, I'm still connected

14:51

with after all these years. On

14:54

social media and

14:56

on Marco Polo, I could reach

14:58

out to them and it would be just like, no time

15:00

has passed if I were to meet these people

15:02

in the street, because that's how, that's how deep

15:05

that trust was and how special

15:08

that time was. People re recognize

15:10

how unusual that thing is, and

15:12

I think that theater brings with it the

15:15

expectation that you are doing something

15:17

Remark. That people are going

15:19

to come and watch you do something remarkable.

15:21

That's why you're there in the first place, cuz you don't

15:24

go watch unremarkable stories. You

15:26

always go remark, watch things

15:28

that are amazing happen, and

15:30

then be able to tell the story that we all experienced

15:32

it together. So, if

15:35

you just look at that, think

15:38

of all of the

15:40

things that we do in our regular lives that are

15:42

remark. That people

15:44

would write off as, Hmm.

15:46

Just kind of day to day. It's kind of just normal,

15:49

right? There are

15:51

little times that we have in our lives every

15:53

day that are remarkable, and if we can

15:55

learn to appreciate those, I think theater's taught

15:58

me that. Mm-hmm. my,

16:00

my work with improvisation has made me a better

16:02

person to, you know, say hello and give

16:05

fist bumps in the hallways.. You know, and then

16:07

with my students, I'm improvising with my

16:09

students all the time, but

16:11

then also really celebrate

16:15

the thing when things go well. It's

16:17

wonderful, but be able to say

16:19

at the end of the day, you know, it's okay when

16:22

it is messy because we can go

16:24

back, look at the tape and say, how

16:26

can we not make it as messy next time?

16:28

And that's what makes you spectacular

16:31

in the end, is being able to. I

16:34

just love that so much, that self-compassion

16:38

piece of, even though I messed

16:40

up, I'm still loved,

16:43

even though I, forgot

16:45

a line, I'm still worthy.

16:48

That's right. I trust I'm connected.

16:50

I'm a good person. That level

16:52

of trust. While,,

16:55

on one hand can feel like a big risk,

16:57

there's also a big payoff because

17:00

that gift of, self-worth

17:03

and compassion is priceless. yeah.

17:06

When you think about teaching teenagers

17:10

this lesson, when they're kind of in

17:12

this space of not

17:14

wanting to be different and feeling

17:17

a little awkward and they don't quite.

17:19

Fit in their bodies the way they used

17:21

to. How do you see this translate

17:24

to your work, with teens?

17:26

You know, it's really interesting. There seems to be a cutoff

17:28

point. I teach sixth grade through ninth

17:31

graders and,

17:33

there seems to be a

17:36

adult chip. That comes

17:38

on board in the middle of our seventh

17:40

grade year. That

17:42

tends to grow and metastasize

17:45

as a part of our biological being.

17:48

That makes the choices

17:50

that we're making as performers on stage

17:53

a little bit more hard to grapple

17:56

with because your biology is telling you

17:59

don't stand out. Be

18:01

like the rest of the crowd, don't.

18:05

Set yourself apart because you wanna

18:07

fit in so that you will be

18:09

a part of what the group

18:12

is doing and be accepted to

18:14

that group. Mm-hmm. and

18:16

theater is often asking

18:19

you to cry. To

18:21

laugh outrageously to

18:23

do stupid and ridiculous things

18:25

and then you're asking kids

18:28

to play these characters and to make

18:30

these choices on stage that are uncomfortable

18:33

because everything about what

18:35

you're doing on stage is the

18:38

opposite of what they're trying to do in

18:40

real life, which is just to fit. So

18:43

the way that I unlock that is, first

18:46

off, I'm so lucky if I get to start

18:48

with these students in sixth grade, because once

18:50

they have had the sixth grade experience, sixth

18:53

graders, you'll tell them, uh,

18:55

okay, you're gonna be a squirrel right now and you're going

18:57

to be in a tree and there's gonna be a, you

19:00

are gonna play a dog and you're gonna be barking. They'll

19:02

do it. They'll do that ridiculous thing.

19:04

Mm-hmm. they. And they'll have a good time

19:06

doing, and everyone will laugh and it'll just, we'll

19:08

just, you know, I, I could do a

19:10

better dog than that, Mr. Mel. Okay, well,

19:12

let's see your dog, Bobby. Get up

19:14

there, and then he does it. And now,

19:16

while we're all barking and all that kind of stuff, try

19:19

that with eighth graders. No.

19:22

No. Everyone's looking at each other like, you want me to be

19:25

a what? And I'm gonna be in what, what

19:27

place you want me to? No. Well, yeah. And, and

19:29

the way that we get around that is the first thing that we do

19:31

in the classes. We, we learn an emotion

19:33

sheet that has a list starts with happy,

19:36

sad, excited, frustrated,

19:38

mellow, and it goes all the way down to disgusted

19:40

and sick. So there's 25 emotions that we just

19:42

practice for warmup. Mm-hmm. I

19:45

have them write down the,

19:47

the movement, the gesture that goes

19:49

with. Emotion and then the

19:51

sound. They have to define the sound that

19:54

is that without there being any

19:56

words attached, no English, no French,

19:58

no German, no Arabic.

20:00

Mm-hmm you, you just, it's gotta be a

20:02

nonsense sound with a gesture

20:04

that looks happy, for example.

20:07

And then we do that as a

20:09

group. Everybody's performing at once. There's

20:12

nobody on stage by themselves looking

20:14

at a group, looking back at them. You

20:17

don't get that in the

20:19

first three weeks of the class. Mm-hmm.

20:21

And the reason for that is that we want the

20:24

new norm to be that we are in this together,

20:26

that we're collaborating. We're making these

20:28

ridiculous choices together. Mm-hmm.

20:31

and together. It's okay. In

20:33

this space to do those

20:35

ridiculous things. Mm-hmm. it only

20:37

takes. And this is, I've worked

20:40

with, you know, uh, third

20:42

graders all the way up to adults on this.

20:45

It really only takes about a half an

20:47

hour to feel comfortable. And

20:49

then once you have set that, that standard,

20:52

that normal, every

20:54

time you get together, you just embrace

20:56

it again. And you mm-hmm. you

20:58

make that a part of your, your practice, um,

21:01

of, of doing the work. And it, it's

21:03

not hard, but it, it is learned.

21:06

Well, and I think it really gets them out

21:08

of their heads and into their

21:10

bodies and, connected to

21:12

that place in themselves again, that,

21:15

we all, teenagers and adults alike

21:18

can really get caught up in our heads. There was an interesting

21:20

article and

21:22

radio story and NPR this week that I sent

21:24

you. That was

21:26

looking at, improv

21:29

and the skills you learn in improv

21:31

as a life skill for

21:33

managing. change

21:36

and uncertainty in our lives.

21:38

What do you think about that?

21:39

Well, the first rule of improv when you

21:42

go to any improv training is yes, and

21:44

to be able to say yes to something, and

21:47

then you add you,

21:49

you go to the next thing. So you

21:52

have to accept what's being given to

21:54

you at any given moment in an improv

21:56

scene, if you say,

21:59

To what's being done to you. That's called blocking,

22:01

and we want to try and avoid blocking

22:04

as much as possible. You need to start

22:06

by just listing and validating them. And

22:09

say, yes, I hear what you're saying. And

22:12

if you start with yes. You

22:16

automatically, are sending a signal

22:18

to your partner or to this person who

22:20

you're working with, that their

22:23

stake at the table and what they have is

22:25

as valuable as your own. There's

22:28

another book that I shared with you called Improv

22:30

Wisdom and the whole philosophy

22:32

is about taking, it's, it's

22:34

the wisdom of improv applied

22:37

to life. Yeah. And she goes

22:39

through the, the 10 main things

22:41

that are in improv theater and

22:43

Yes. And is the first chapter

22:46

Very cool. Mm-hmm. and it's

22:48

such a powerful word. I've been. Adopting

22:51

it in my own life too. I've been

22:53

trying, every time I catch myself about

22:56

to say the word, but I change

22:58

it to ants. That's so key and.

23:01

Basically makes the first part of

23:03

whatever I said yes. You

23:06

know, whatever the first statement was. And instead

23:08

of saying, but yes, this, but

23:10

this, I say, and

23:12

this, and it's really helped me

23:15

make a shift to, in my thinking,

23:18

to accepting the fact that two

23:21

opposites can exist at the same time. Um,

23:25

correct and be equally true and

23:27

have equal value. So

23:29

it's power language is so powerful. Mm.

23:32

Yeah. and just the validation part

23:34

of it, being able to be in the same mm-hmm. even

23:36

when you disagree, being able to just

23:39

hold a moment. Mm-hmm. just acknowledge

23:41

that even though there may

23:43

be, we might not agree on everything,

23:45

we still are sharing this space

23:47

well, before we run outta time, I wanna ask

23:49

you about two to use your words.

23:52

Remarkable. Changes

23:54

that I have seen you make over our

23:57

last few years together. I

23:59

just looked it up on Facebook, 430

24:02

days ago, you

24:04

made a big change in your life. What did

24:06

you

24:06

do? Tonight I went for my 430th

24:09

walk outside and,

24:11

I have not had any breaks

24:13

for 430 days. I have gone

24:15

outside. I have walked

24:17

to find the sun and take

24:19

a picture. And I usually take a video

24:22

as well, and I publish it

24:24

to keep myself accountable. Right. I put it

24:26

up there on a, I've got a Sun Walker World

24:28

website on Facebook, so you can come

24:30

find me. Are you okay if we link that?

24:32

You can link it, yeah. Yeah. I was talking

24:35

with my friend Steve, who's

24:37

one of my friends from graduate

24:39

school. Mm-hmm. and I was in New York with him.

24:41

He's an actor there and

24:44

he's also a personal trainer. And,

24:46

we were talking about something health wise.

24:48

It was October, no,

24:50

September 29th of last

24:53

year. And, uh, I

24:55

was eating pring. Sitting

24:57

in my bed after work complaining

25:00

about something that was kind of bothering

25:02

me about work. And

25:04

he just looked at me and he says, dude, you need to go for

25:06

a walk. and

25:10

I, maybe, maybe some. Tough love is

25:12

what's needed here. And Melver. You need to get out

25:14

and you need to put that Pringles can down and

25:17

you just need to just go for a walk. If you're feeling

25:19

stressed about stuff, just try. so

25:23

I did and I went and

25:26

it felt okay and then

25:28

I went and took a picture of the sun that day and brought

25:31

it back and looked at it. And

25:33

then I went the next day and it just felt

25:35

good getting back into that place

25:38

that I had learned with Steve in graduate

25:40

school about being present with yourself. Mm-hmm.

25:43

and I started to recognize, Some

25:46

are just the very basics of just becoming

25:49

aware again, of what I'm putting in my body, what

25:51

I'm consuming, and then finding that

25:53

moment to be with myself. Mm-hmm.

25:55

Mm-hmm. And then I just didn't stop. And

25:58

then it became like, can I get to 200 days or a hundred

26:00

days? I got to hundred days. Could I

26:02

get to 200 days? I got to 200. Can I do

26:04

the full year 365 possible?

26:07

Nailed it and.

26:12

It just is a moment in my

26:15

day whether I am at the mall

26:17

hanging out with you and the girls, or

26:19

grocery shopping or

26:22

whatever, a frantic thing that I have to do.

26:25

Having that moment that is just that I, I

26:27

have to go catch, and it's just me taking

26:29

a picture with the sun. That's it. That's

26:31

the game. There's

26:34

something about the structure of that. It's

26:37

such little thing, but it's

26:40

so powerful in that if I

26:42

miss it, I

26:44

will have missed the most important part of

26:47

my day, and it wasn't important to

26:49

start with. Mm-hmm. grew to

26:50

that. Yeah. It's

26:52

become a mindful moment

26:54

for you. It's huge. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

26:56

and it's, there's two times where I'm just like, uh,

26:59

gotta. Mm-hmm. But then, you know,

27:01

you just make that your five minute clock. you don't need to go

27:03

out for 45 minutes every day. Just make

27:05

sure you catch the sun. Yeah. Sun's

27:07

with you every day. And some days I

27:09

take, you've seen the pictures where I've just taken me.

27:12

It's me loud. There it is.

27:15

Wait till we go back to the states for winter.

27:19

Doing it three o'clock in the afternoon, waiting where the sun should

27:21

be. A big, dark cloud rain.

27:24

Right.

27:26

Yeah. Ridiculous. Well, it is. I mean, walking

27:28

is considered meditation and if,

27:30

if we, if we do it properly, we can be very mindful

27:33

when we walk. And being in nature, is a

27:35

great way to be present and develop

27:37

a gratitude practice. It's just been really

27:39

fabulous to watch and I think, quite

27:41

a few people are coming along with you on your

27:43

journey joining your Facebook group. Yeah, because.

27:46

To find, a connection

27:48

in that moment with the sun, wherever they are in the

27:50

world.

27:51

Yeah. And the fact that it, there's

27:53

nothing else being sold there. It's no,

27:56

please just post pictures of the sun where

27:58

you are. Cause we're all one humanity

28:00

underneath this sun. That's sky.

28:02

Mm-hmm. It's, it's gonna

28:04

be what it is. Yeah. And if

28:06

as long as you're doing. You're doing

28:08

something for yourself and you've got other

28:11

people like you out there. It just feels good to know that

28:13

there's other ridiculous people doing ridiculous

28:15

things like taking that moment just for

28:17

yourself. Totally.

28:18

Totally. Um, the

28:21

other thing I wanted to talk about

28:23

was, I don't even know how many years it's been now,,

28:25

you started. Painting.

28:31

Yeah. You know, this painting project

28:33

to me is taken on

28:35

as you know, and you are so patient.

28:37

I I, I just wanna acknowledge, for

28:40

those of you that aren't in house right now,

28:42

our front room is

28:45

a, that converts

28:48

to a paint station

28:50

in the middle of the front part of our house.

28:53

I'll take a picture, and

28:57

the fact that I have a partner that

28:59

allows me to have that open

29:02

pretty much seven

29:04

days a week when we don't have regular guests.

29:06

I had to close it down when we have guests once

29:08

in a while, and that's fine, but

29:11

the fact that you've allowed me to have that

29:13

gift. I started

29:15

painting to see what

29:17

10,000 hours looks like. I wanted to test

29:20

the theory of starting something and

29:22

going for 10,000 hours without any

29:24

formal training. Getting all

29:26

the stuff that I needed from YouTube

29:29

and online and just see how

29:31

far I could take it.

29:32

And that's Malcolm Gladwell, the 10,000 hour

29:34

theory. he quoted it, it was in the point

29:37

of the book that I read, but I, I think that he was

29:39

actually, he had heard that as well.

29:41

And he, he stands by the fact

29:43

that yes, there was very clear evidence

29:45

that 10,000 hours is what it takes

29:47

to master anything. And I

29:50

got to, after going for about

29:52

7,000 hours and working for about

29:54

seven years after my job

29:56

on weekends, just doing it when

29:59

I was able to do it and not pressuring

30:01

myself and all that kind of stuff. But

30:04

just staying diligent with it. I

30:06

was already in 10 countries at

30:08

that point, selling paintings for

30:10

a couple hundred all the way up to a thousand

30:12

dollars a piece. And

30:15

when I recognized after I reached 10,000

30:18

hours, the impact of that,

30:20

I decided to pivot and to make

30:23

it, a charity. So

30:25

giving away 80% of what

30:27

I make on a given painting

30:30

to. To

30:33

combat this human suffering

30:35

in the world, to be able to tell the story.

30:38

Art can change something. Art changed

30:40

me as a person, and

30:43

I now have this skill that I still

30:46

don't know. I,

30:48

I, I love doing it, but I don't have any

30:50

formal training and that drives some

30:52

formal painters crazy. When they

30:54

hear that, they're like, well, then how can

30:56

you teach an art? Well,

30:59

you spend enough, enough hours doing it. I've got

31:01

the basics down right. But

31:03

at the same time, I'm

31:06

doing this just like going for the sun.

31:08

I'm doing that mindful exercise

31:10

for me. And it was something that, that,

31:12

that job of painting allowed me to be close

31:14

to our girls and close to you through

31:17

some of the toughest, uh, medical

31:19

times of our lives that we've

31:22

had, and still be. right?

31:24

Mm-hmm. I didn't have to leave or go do

31:26

theater somewhere, somewhere else. I could have done that.

31:28

But this was an art, something that I could do

31:31

that allowed me to be close, and to be

31:33

present, through those times as

31:36

a family. And I'm just so grateful

31:38

for it. It grounds me now in

31:41

a way to, I hope that I

31:43

can find time after retire. where

31:47

that's what I'll do full time. And if, if

31:49

we can get to there as soon as possible, that'd be great,

31:51

but not force it. We're just gonna

31:53

go with the flow of life. Yes. Make

31:55

sure that we're staying present because it's all transition,

31:58

right? I feel like every day I'm ready for anything

32:00

and as long as I'm painting a little bit in

32:02

the week and catching my son every day. Everything

32:04

else falls where it's gonna fall.

32:08

Well, it's been a gift to watch and, I joke about

32:10

it, but I tell you, I love having that creative

32:13

space in the center of our home

32:16

we have our piano there and your art station, and

32:18

the girls have all sorts of craft things there. And

32:20

when I get on a, oh, I'm gonna be crafty

32:22

bandwagon, I'll come, I come join in

32:24

the space. Usually I'm just sitting there

32:26

reading. But, uh, but I

32:28

love that we have that space and that

32:30

it makes our home a, a place where

32:33

it's. Okay. To be creative

32:35

and try things and not have

32:37

to be perfect, you

32:39

know? Yeah. and it's all we see in that

32:41

space is unfinished work. Mm-hmm.

32:43

Mm. That, that's, that's really all a

32:45

workspace is, is unfinished work.

32:47

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And what I, one thing I

32:50

love about, one of my favorite quotes about paintings

32:52

is how do you know if a painting is done?

32:54

Well, paintings are never finished. They're

32:56

only abandoned, or

33:00

the artist die. And,

33:04

um, there's something really profound

33:06

about that. We are all an unfinished painting

33:08

in our own way. if we, we acknowledge

33:10

the parts of ourselves that still could use a little

33:13

work or a few brush strokes here

33:15

and there that you

33:17

look at the parts of the painting that you like, keep

33:19

those, and then mm-hmm. carefully

33:23

brush out the parts that you wanna change.

33:25

it takes daily effort. you have to be mindful

33:28

of that. You have to learn to see that,

33:31

but it's not hard to do. Mm-hmm. And

33:36

it makes me appreciate so

33:38

much more all of the people that are around

33:40

me that I'm grateful for and for the

33:42

things that I have I

33:44

don't really wish for much. But I'll

33:46

tell you, I'm grateful for the stuff. I'm

33:49

able to share with my family and with my friends

33:51

and my patrons around the world that get it

33:54

and. I'm able to give

33:56

that money and know that this

33:58

work is being done so people can find

34:01

homes that don't have homes. Mm-hmm. get outta the way

34:03

of bullets and politics and disaster.

34:06

Right. So you are supporting, With

34:08

your funds? where are you setting

34:10

those? Yeah. I've chosen to go with the,

34:13

United Nations high Commission

34:15

for Refugees. It's the U

34:17

N H C R and it's the

34:19

one that everyone knows about. And if

34:22

anything,, my work is about

34:24

pointing people in that direction so that

34:27

they. and that they recognize

34:29

that this is a problem that is

34:31

affecting 84 million people that are on the

34:33

record. We know that the number's way more

34:36

than that.

34:36

Yeah. Yeah. It's December

34:38

5th. Do you know offhand how many. I

34:42

don't know what do you count it in? Tents?

34:43

Oh. as of right now, I

34:46

will be at 24 tents

34:48

for refugees this year,

34:50

which is a new, um,

34:53

milestone. It's a new record for my personal,

34:55

giving. I love it. it

34:58

feels so good to be able to not

35:00

just read on my social

35:02

feed about the problems, but

35:04

be able to say, here's something that I

35:06

did. And if people don't agree

35:09

with U N H C R, whatever,

35:11

what are you doing? You know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

35:14

I'm doing something. So it's what I can do in my

35:16

little space. It's my little, my my

35:18

bubble that I'm in. Yeah. Trying to

35:20

make a difference, so,

35:21

yeah and you do. You

35:23

do. One closing

35:25

question for you. Okay. And is,

35:27

it's kind of improv friendly, I think.

35:30

so if you could recommend

35:33

one sort of metaphorical

35:35

thing to pack, so if somebody's going

35:37

on a journey of change or transition,

35:39

and you could recommend one thing

35:42

for them to bring along with them. That

35:44

would help them on their journey.

35:46

What would you suggest?

35:58

Stay open to saying,,

36:03

yes. I guess we'll just,

36:05

just leave it with that. I think

36:07

that that's the main takeaway. Say

36:10

yes more than no

36:14

Mm-hmm. you gotta do it in a safe space. Right.

36:16

Cause you know, sure. You get out there in the world,

36:18

it's a big, burly world. Right.

36:21

But at the same time, if you're in a transition.

36:24

I would just say, find the positivity

36:27

in the moment that you're in, and embrace it

36:29

by saying, yes, I am here. Yes,

36:32

I'm in this moment. Yes,

36:34

this feels uncomfortable. And

36:38

and then say, and and

36:40

finish the sentence, yes, I'm

36:43

here. And you

36:45

get to fill in that blank. It's pretty powerful.

36:49

Very powerful. Thank

36:52

you so much for doing this for

36:54

Yeah, it was fun being my first

36:56

guest. It was fun. You're

36:58

my beta guest,

37:00

Well, I love you honey. Thank you for, I love

37:03

you that I do. And yeah,

37:05

it to get watch you go through this transition

37:08

of starting all this off and,

37:10

and I just know you're gonna be

37:12

helping a lot of people find their way.

37:14

You're kinda like the flashlight and

37:17

that's so, that's so cool that you get to be the

37:19

flashlight. You're a flashlight for me in,

37:21

in a lot of my life, so I'm lucky

37:23

to have you as a partner. Thank

37:26

you honey.

37:27

Thanks so much for being on the show today.